costambar monthly november 2011

What To Do This MonthUseful Telephone Numbers

Classified AdsCostambar Cable Channel Listing

The Rainy Day PageAnd Lots Of Other Fun Stuff!!

November 2011

Page 4 - Did you get lucky!?!?Page 8 - Really Golden Oldies!1 - The history of the Senior MomentPage 15 - She’s cute, she’s young & she’savailable!!!!

Yennys MarketLoase Resort & SpaThe Catamaran BarPascual Good Food

Happy HippoSharky’s Bar & Grill

The Restaurant

Supermercado TropicalBig Lee’s Beach Bar

Rubi’s SalonEl Jardin y Algo Mas

Restaurant Chino

MAJOR PUBLIC WORKS PROJECT STALLED

A project that could have been a major benefitto the residents of Costambar stalled before iteven got started. See details on page 5

Los Tres Cocos

Costambar Monthly

Los Tres Cocos in Las Rocas invites you to trysomething different. Fine dining at it’s best! Call809-993-4503 for details.

Loase Resort & Spa is opening ‘Play It Again’Sam’s Bar & Grill on November 10th - everythingyou remember about Sam’s now in Costambar!Come reminisce and have a great time! HappyHour noon-7pm with great drink prices and a greatdeal on Plate of the Day from noon-2:30. FullThanksgiving Dinner on Thurdsay November 24th!Workout with racquetball, handball or wallyball.Wireless internet, big screen sports, movies andconcerts.

At The Catamaran on Costambar Beach you’ll findgreat food at great prices enjoyed with a milliondollar view! They are now open untilmidnight with romantic meals and cocktails. Everyday they have Power Hour with 3X1 cuba libresfrom 6-7pm. Wednesdays it’s Paella day andSaturdays is Sancocho! This month they will holdtheir Austrian Evening on Tuesday November 22ndstarting at 7pm. They also hold a monthly FleaMarket on the last Saturday of every monthbeginning at 10am. No cost to vendors! Like theysay - your trash could be someone else’s treasure!

Pascual’s Good Food on Costambar Beachspecializes in seafood from their live lobster tank.Karaoke Party every Friday night! Also availablefor parties and events!

The Happy Hippo is holding Gringo Night onNovember 25th - International Karaoke &imitations by Jepols! From 8pm on.

Big Lee’s Beach Bar is aiming to be the newhotspot on the Malecon in Puerto Plata. FridayNovember 11th is Bikini Day - waitresses will be intheir bikinis from 5pm-9pm and there will be acookout as well! American music and free popcorn!Look for the 7 foot electric palm tree!

Why not try El Jardin y Algo Mas for somethingdifferent? Reserve a day in advance to takeadvantage of their Steak Tartar specialty! Take thekids and let them play on the swings and seesaw!

AMIGOS DE 4 PATAS are planning anotherspay/neuter clinic in the fall. In order to make thisone as successful as the last they are looking formore volunteers and donations. They will also beholding more flea markets and fundraisers - watchthis space for dates, etc. For more info contactCarolina at 829-520-7265 (Spanish & English) orStephanie at 809-899-7800 (English).

IGLESIA FILIPOS PRESBITERIANA invites you toservices every Sunday at 10 A.M. Worships are inSpanish. Children activities. Before Costambar GateSecurity, turn on the right side toward the powerplant, 100 meters on the right side.

Dancing with Annette has classes availableTuesday evenings at 7:30pm or Wednesdaymornings at 10am. She’s making it sexy,interesting but most of all - FUN!!

Sharky’s Bar & Grill in Costambar is bringing thefun times back to town! Hans is back with Darts onTuesday nights. Wednesdays is the house specialty- Buffao Wings! Rockin’ Karaoke with Shawn & Kenon Friday nights and put on your dancin’ shoes forRetro Dance Saturdays! They have a FoosballTable, Pool Table and Satellite TV for all sportingevents. AND - Charo is in charge of the menu! Letthe good times roll!!

The Restaurant is having Thanksgiving Dinner onNovember 24th with turkey and all the trimmings -reservations only. Mondays is Fish & Chip night andSaturdays will be Karaoke from 9pm.

Restaurant Chino has the best Chinese food onthe North Coast! Eat in or take out. Two locations- on the Malecon in Puerto Plata and callePrincipal in Cabarete.

Costambar Monthly

CLASSIFIEDSLIKE CHECKING OUT THE CLASSIFIEDS FOR GREAT DEALS? ORUSING THEM TO GET RID OF YOUR UNWANTED ITEMS? THENWHY NOT CHECK OUT COSTAMBAR’S NEW FLEA MARKET ATTHE CATAMARAN BAR ON THE BEACH. EVERY LAST SATURDAYOF THE MONTH STARTING AT 10AM! FREE TO VENDORS!!!

FOR SALE33foot sailboat, Glander Tava-na class yawl, good condition/minor work needed, less than1500 hours on new 20 horseKuboto engine and trans. AMUST SEE!Located in Luperon bay. CallSean @ (809) 782-2534.

Costambar Monthly classified ads are free but can only beplaced by emailing [email protected] calling 809-970-7507 or 809-449-1820PLEASE NOTE - free classified ads are only for personal items.Commercial properties orenterprises (including realestate sales or rentals) mustpurchase an ad. Classifieds will usually be run for one monthonly unless we are otherwise notified.

FOR SALEPool/Jacuzzi Heater. StaRite400K BTU Maxi-Thermpropane heater. Recentlyrebuilt and overhauledincluding a new heatexchanger that cost$RD40,000. Cost new was$RD130,000. Asking$RD75,000 OBO. This is a realbargain! Please call 809-970-3268 Costambar

WANTEDDoes any one have a lathe forsale either for metal or forwood, and also a Bandsaw.Tel: 809 970 3287 or 809 6490345, email:[email protected]

FOR SALECar: Mitsubishi L200, diesel,year 2005, 76,000 km, incl. fullinsurance till April 2012, verygood conditions, German main-tained, new rear brakes, trailercoupling, and much moreMotorcycle YAMAHA SEROW225ccm,TRIAL, German main-tained, looks like new! incl. in-surance till October 2011Open fishing motorboat, 22feet, year 2010, Tohatsu 40horsepower and Tohatsu 9.8horsepower, specialize for biggame fishing!Everything only 10 monthsold!!!!!!!!Call for prices: 849 886 1266Located in Luperon

YENNY’S MARKETEverything You Need

At Good Prices!Open 8:00am to 9:30pm daily

Calle Principal, CostambarTel: 809-970-3028

SAY YOUSA W IT IN

COSTAMBAR

MONTHLY!

www.costambarmonthly.com

FOR SALE28" flat screen televisionperfect condition10,000 pesos829-246-7525 or 829-616-2056

FOR SALEDell inspiron Laptop, Brandnew boxed 3gb memory, 320gb hard drive, dual core intelpentium p6200 processorGenuine windows 7 homepremium. 30,000 pesos829-246-7525 or 829-616-2056

FOR SALEDigital camera, 12 megapixelfujifilm digital camera, 3xfujinon zoom, 2.4 lcd, brandnew boxed, with 4gb sdmemory card6,000 pesos829-246-7525 or 829-616-2056

FOR SALELarge dog cage, certified forairplane transport. Brand new,never used. Has wheels. CostUS$450 - asking US$300negotiable. Call 809-988-1322

WORK WANTEDAnything considered - cleaning,babysitting, painting, etc. Iunderstand some English andhave references.Call Rosy 809-292-9693

FOR SALE1995 Diesel Toyota LandCruiser In Excellent Condition.Manual Transmission, AirConditioning, 4 wheel drive.Former UN vehicle. A no frillsbeast of a vehicle with acomfortable ride on or offroad. Asking RD 380,000.Located near Maimon.809-707-9036

FOR SALE15HP Johnson outboard motor.Short shaft,good runner,US$800 Call 809-449-1819

FOR SALEBeautiful all sunshine yellowpasola kym 100 cc, specialedition, 2500km originalmileage, 2011, asking 27,500negotiable, like [email protected] or849 353 4628

I’m so poor I can’teven pay attention!

Costambar Monthly

FOR SALE

Apartments for RentLong and Short Term

Special Offers AvailableFor Long Term Rentals!

Just ask Max!

Office 809-970-7312Cell 809-251-8679

Visit our website www.villasfelipe.com

HOUSE FOR RENTLocated main street Cafemba3 Bedrooms & 2 Bathrooms

Pool & JacuzziWell water

Office & WiFi SystemAvailable furnished or unfurnished

SAME LOCATION - 1 bdrm apt for rent short-termFOR MORE INFO

CALL 849-207-8246/EMAIL [email protected]

DID YOU WIN?!?!?Here’s the list of winners from the Amigos de 4Patas raffle at the benefit concert held October22nd at Happy Hippo:1. Dolphin swim x 2 passes fron Ocean World -Alexis Peralta Almonte2. Breakfast x 2 (or 4) at Black Beards - HectorRodrigez3. Jewellry certificate - Fedir Nikolayev InfinitiBlu4. Breakfast for 2 at Ricks Place - Roger Birt,Costambar5. Breakfast for 2 at Ricks Place - Joe Sanros6.Retah B. Jazz & Blues C.D. - Brian Tisler7.Retah B. Jazz & Blues C.D. - Hans Van Weeran8. Marco Zubrod Diving travel guide book - CarolCormica9. Bravissimo Show x 2 passes, Ocean World -Don Docker10. Bravissimo Show x 2 passes, Ocean World -Nanda CavalliThey raised a little over RD$20,000 from thebenefit and thank everyone for their generosityand support. If you haven’t claimed your prizeget in touch with Carolina at 829-520-7265 orStephanie at 809-899-7800. Remember ticketsare available for RD$50 at Happy Hippo and TheAnchor all winter and lots more great prizes arestill to be won. Keep reading Costambar Monthlyto see if you’ve won!

POWER OFTHE PRESS?

Did CM haveanything todo with theBanco Leon’sparking fix?

We’ll nevertell!

Costambar Monthly

PUBLIC WORKS PROJECT STALLEDContinued from Page 1A project deemed to be ofextreme urgency andconsidered to be of majorbenefit to Costambar diedbefore it even got going.Contractors starteddropping off large drainage tiles intended to tryand siphon off and divert the BS that hasflooded local watering holes. After so manyreports of people drowning in their own BS, andthat of others, this was considered by healthagencies (particularly mental health) to be ofthe utmost urgency, especially with theimminent influx of snowbirds. Unfortunately,when engineers arrived to assess the projectthey deemed the drainage tiles, the largestcurrently available, to be insufficient for theproject. Project managers are currently innegotiations with offshore manufacturers but itwould appear that there is not a facilityanywhere that could create drainage tiles thatwould be big enough for the Costambar BSDrainage Project. Officials have warnedresidents to buy bigger wading boots!

BIOMAX DENTALDra. Yarisa Ripoll

809-261-0094Calle Luis Ginebra #38, Puerto Plata

Top Quality Dental Implants ForOnly US$300

Performed by American DentistsFour Highly Skilled American Dentists

Donate Their Time In OrderFor Us to be Able to Offer Implants

At Such An Affordable Price.

CALL FOR MORE DETAILSAND TO SCHEDULE AN APPOINTMENT

Power Hour 3X1 Cuba Libres at Catamaran6-7pm

Happy Hour at ‘Play It Again’ Sam’s at LoaseNoon-7pm

Fish & Chips at The Restaurant

Darts with Hans at Sharky’sDancing With Annette 7:30pm

Paella at Catamaran

Buffalo Wings Special at Sharky’sDancing With Annette 10am

Karaoke at Sharky’sKaraoke at Pascual’s

Sancocho at CatamaranKaraoke at The Restaurant 9pm

Dominican Public Holiday Constitution Day

‘Play It Again’ Sam’s At Loase opens

Bikini Day & Cookout at Big Lee’s 5pm-9pm

Possible General Strike

Austrian Day at Catamaran 7pm

Thanksgiving Dinner at ‘Play It Again’

Sam’s at LoaseThanksgiving Dinner at The Restaurant

Gringo Day with Karaoke at Happy Hippo9pm

Costambar Monthly

VIVERO!!!PLANT

Open to the PublicOpen to the PublicAll Types of

Palms, Flowering & Foliage PlantsLandscaping & Garden Maintenance

Services AvailableBEST PRICES ON THE NORTH COASTOpen Monday-Friday 8:30am to 5pm

And By AppointmentCall George (Lettuce)

809-543-8041Km. 11 Carretera PP-Imbert

(In front of PARADA DINAMICA)“Just past the fish places”

1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has tochoose between three rooms. The first is full ofraging fires, the second is full of assassins withloaded guns, and the third is full of lions thathaven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest forhim?

2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holdshim under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, shehangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go outtogether and enjoy a wonderful dinner together.How can this be?

3. What is black when you buy it, red when youuse it, and gray when you throw it away?

4. Can you name three consecutive days withoutusing the words Wednesday, Friday, or Sunday?

5. This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious as tojust how quickly you can find out what is sounusual about it. It looks so ordinary and plainthat you would think nothing was wrong with it.In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is highlyunusual though. Study it and think about it, butyou still may not find anything odd. But if youwork at it a bit, you might find out. Try to do sowithout any coaching!ANSWERS ON PAGE 12

Two hats were hangingon a hat rack in the hallway -- –

One hat said to the other,'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'

MOTOCONCHWANNABE!There can be no

other explanationfor this except

that this personis practicing fortheir motoconcho

licence!If this is how they

park we don’twanna see them

driving!!!

Costambar Monthly

Massage: Relax, Reduction, Deep Tissue, Facial Massage, Reflexology,Acupressure, & Hot StonePhysical Therapy, Paraffin Treatment & Lymphatic DrainageManicure & Pedicure: Regular & IntensiveBraids & Hair Extensions & Mens HaircutsFacials, Waxing , Peeling, Hydration & Nurse ServicesNatural Health & Beauty ProductsASK ABOUT OUR SPECIALS.Open Mon-Sat from 9:00am / Sundays by appointmentService to the home. Transportation available.#14 Penon St, Costambar Tel: 809-970-7522 Cell: 809-993-2944

Order YourHealth Insurance Now!

RD$770Includes Dental

(with Drugs RD$960)

FOR DETAILED INFORMATIONTuesday Nov 1 & Dec 6Big Lee’s Beach Bar, Puerto Plata 5pmBieke’s Bar, Costambar 6:30pmOr Call Petra & Marcel Bahr1-809-885-2155

OLD people have problems that you haven't evenconsidered yet!An 85-year-old man was requested by his Doctorfor a sperm count as part of his physical exam.The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take thisjar home and bring back a semen sampletomorrow.'The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared atthe doctor's office and gave him the jar, whichwas as clean and empty as on the previous day.The doctor asked what happened and the manexplained, 'Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried withmy right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with myleft hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wifefor help. She tried with her right hand, then withher left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth,first with the teeth in,then with her teeth out, stillnothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady nextdoor and she tried too, first with both hands, thenan armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it betweenher knees, but still nothing.'The doctor was shocked! 'You asked yourneighbor?' The old man replied, 'Yep, none of us could get thedamn jar open.

A man suffered a serious heart attack and hadopen heart bypass surgery. He awakened from thesurgery to find himself in the care of nuns at aCatholic Hospital . As he was recovering, a nunasked him questions regarding how he was goingto pay for his treatment. She asked if he hadhealth insurance.He replied, in a raspy voice, 'No health insurance.'The nun asked if he had money in the bank.He replied. 'No money in the bank.'The nun asked, 'Do you have a relative who couldhelp you?'He said, 'I only have a spinster sister, who is anun.'The nun became agitated and announced loudly,'Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God.'The patient replied, 'Send the bill to my brother-in-law.'

SAY YOUSA W IT IN

COSTAMBAR

Two little old ladies were attendingA rather long church service.

One leaned over and whispered,“My butt is going to sleep.”

“I know,” replied her companion,“I heard it snore three times.”

Costambar Monthly

Karaoke TropicalFor Any Event Of Your Choice

With Animation inEnglish, Spanish, German and French

Lyrics in 7 LanguagesInternational Music, Videos and DVDs

809-204-4172Email [email protected]

Email [email protected]

Confucius say,If you are in a book store and cannot find thebook for which you search, you are obviously in

Some of the artists of the 60's are revising theirhits with new lyrics to accommodate aging babyboomers.They include:Bobby Darin ---Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' AFlashHerman's Hermits ---Mrs. Brown, You've Got ALovely WalkerRingo Starr ---I Get By With A Little Help FromDependsThe Bee Gees -- -How Can You Mend A BrokenHip?Roberta Flack---The First Time Ever I Forgot YourFaceJohnny Nash ---I Can't See Clearly Now.Paul Simon---Fifty Ways To Lose Your LiverThe Commodores ---Once, Twice, Three Times ToThe BathroomProcol Harem--- A Whiter Shade Of HairLeo Sayer ---You Make Me Feel Like NappingThe Temptations ---Papa's Got A Kidney StoneAbba---Denture QueenTony Orlando --- Knock 3 Times On The CeilingIf You Hear Me FallHelen Reddy ---I Am Woman, Hear Me SnoreLeslie Gore---It's My Procedure, And I'll Cry If IWant ToAnd Last but NOT least...Willie Nelson ---On the Commode Again...

Working people frequently ask retired people whatthey do to make their days interesting.Well, for example, the other day my wife and Iwent into town and went into a shop.We were only in there for about 5 minutes. Whenwe came out, there was a cop writing out aparking ticket.We went up to him and said, 'Come on man, howabout giving a senior citizen a break?'He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. Icalled him a Nazi turd. He glared at me and startedwriting another ticket for having worn tires.So my wife called him a shithead. He finished thesecond ticket and put it on the windshield withthe first. Then he started writing a third ticket.This went on for about 20 minutes. The more weabused him, the more tickets he wrote.Personally, we didn't care. We came into town bybus. We try to have a little fun each day now thatwe're retired. It's important at our age.

FACTAfter Monday and Tuesday

even the calendar says WTF

Costambar Monthly

CLEAR FIBERGLASS 33-LBPROPANE CYLINDER TANK

Always know howmuch gas you have!

Lighter than steeland don't rust!

$320.00 new in USNow only 2450 pesos Call

Colin 809-449-1819

LUPERON

26' Ocean Reef Fishing BoatGood - Very Good conditionBuilt in Florida 1982Solid sea-vesselEconomical 4 cyl. IsuzuGood for fishing or touring.US$42,000For Info [email protected]

FOR SALE

Trying to Sell Your Boat?Why Not Get More Exposure

By Advertising It InCostambar Monthly!

Four old retired guys are walking down a street inYuma , Arizona . They turn a corner and see a signthat says, “Old Timers Bar - ALL drinks 10 cents.”They look at each other and then go in, thinking,This is too good to be true.The old bartender says in a voice that carriesacross the room, "Come on in and let me pour onefor you! What'll it be, gentlemen?"There's a fully stocked bar, so each of the menorders a martini. In no time the bartender servesup four iced martinis —shaken, not stirred—andsays, "That'll be 10 cents each, please."The four guys stare at the bartender for a moment,then at each other. They can't believe their goodluck. They pay the 40 cents, finish their martinis,and order another round. Again, four excellentmartinis are produced, with the bartender againsaying, "That's 40 cents, please." They pay the 40cents, but their curiosity gets the better of them.They've each had two martinis and haven't evenspent a dollar yet.Finally one of them says, "How can you afford toserve martinis as good as these for a dimeapiece?"

"I'm a retired tailor from Phoenix ," the bartendersays, “and I always wanted to own a bar. Last yearI hit the lottery jackpot for $125 million anddecided to open this place. Every drink costs adime. Wine, liquor, beer—it's all the same.""Wow! That's some story!" one of the men says.As the four of them sip at their martinis, they can'thelp noticing a dozen other people at the end ofthe bar who don't have any drinks in front of themand haven't ordered anything the whole timethey've been there.Nodding at the dozen or so people at the end ofthe bar, one of the men asks the bartender, "What'swith them?"The bartender says, " A few are retired people fromFlorida, and the rest are sailor/cruisers fromLuperon Harbor. They're waiting for Happy Hourwhen drinks are half-price."

Costambar Monthly

SOLUTIONS ON PAGE 13SUDOKU PUZZLESFill in the missing numbers so every row, column andquadrant contains the number 1 through 9.

FRIENDSHIP

ACQUAINTANCEAFFECTIONAFFINITYALLYAMIGOAMITYBOYFRIENDBUDDYCHUMCLOSENESS

COMPANIONCOMRADECONFIDEEMPATHYFAVORFONDNESSFRIENDLINESSFUNGIRLFRIENDGOOD TIMES

HONESTYKINSHIPLENDLOYALTYPALROOMMATESHARESUPPORTIVESYMPATHYTRUST

Across1. Move periodically orseasonally5. Request urgently orpersistently6. Intransigent7. Clause

Down1. Eye makeup2. Dashing3. Antiquated4. Give the right to

Costambar Monthly

Police Office 809-320-8510

Police Car 809-320-8840

APC Office 809-970-7877

APC Gate Security 809-970-7015

Codetel 809-220-1111

Edenorte - emergency 809-261-1844

Edenorte - office 809-586-9823

Costambar Taxi Stand 809-970-7318

Canada 809-586-5761

Britain 809-586-4244

U.S.A. 809-586-4204

German 809-586-6995

Italian 809-320-7601

Clinica Bournigal 809-586-2342

Clinica Brugal 809-586-2519

Los Tropicos Pharmacy 809-970-7607

12 CNN 51 CINE CANAL

22 FOX SPORT 56 SPEED

28 BOOMERANG 57 ANIMAL PLANET

30 ABC 64 SCI-FI

31 NBC 66 FOOD

32 CBS 69 DISCOVERYKIDS

33 TBS 70 WEATHER

34 CNBC 71 CINEMAX

35 ESPN-1 72 SHOWTIME

36 WGN 74 STARZ

37 CDN 79 NASA

40 TNT 80 JETIX

42 USA 81 CARTOON

43 ESPN-2 83 TNT LA

44 DISCOVERY 84 HISTORY

46 DISNEY 85 THE FILM ZONE

49 HBO

COSTAMBAR MONTHLY

Contact UsTel: 809-970-7507Cell: 809-449-1820

Email:costambarmonthly

@yahoo.ca

PLEASE NOTE - No new ads or changes will beaccepted within 4 days of the end of the month.

This month we actually had a request for a tipfrom a long time reader. He asks if anybody hascome up with a good way to keep spices fromgetting damp and clumping up or molding. Seemshe just bought a spice rack and would like tocontinue using it. So, anybody got any advice forour spicy reader? Email us [email protected] and we’ll get the infoto him. And if we find a really effective methodwe’ll print it here!

Costambar Monthly

Restaurant ChinoBest Chinese FoodOn the North Coast!Two Great Locations!Eat In or Takeout!

Plaza Neptuno, Malecon, Puerto Plata809-261-5609Calle Principal, Cabarete809-571-0385

Open Tues-Sat 4pm-11:30pm/Sunday 11:30am-11:30pmCalle Felix Nolasco #55, Urbanization Atlantica, Puerto Plata

809-261-0416/829-568-1475

Try OurSpecialty

ReservationRequired

One Day inAdvance

Little Johnnie's neighbour had a baby.Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.When mother and new baby came home from thehospital, Johnnie's family was invited over to seethe baby. Before they left their house, LittleJohnnie's dad had a talk with him and explainedthat the baby had no ears. His dad also told himthat if he so much as mentioned anything aboutthe baby's missing ears or even said the word ears,he would get the smacking of his life when theycame back home. Little Johnnie told his dad heunderstood completely.When Johnnie looked in the crib he said, "What abeautiful baby."The mother said, "Why, thank you, Little Johnnie.”Johnnie said, "He has beautiful little feet andbeautiful little hands, a cute little nose and reallybeautiful eyes. Can he see?""Yes", the mother replied, "we are so thankful. TheDoctor said he will have 20/20 vision.""That's great", said Little Johnnie,"coz he'd be introuble if he needed glasses".

Following the tragic deathof the Human Cannonball

at the Kent Show, a spokesmansaid "We'll struggle to get another

man of the same calibre."

[email protected]

WHEN A REGULAR BICYCLE BASKETJUST ISN’T ENOUGH!

Just been to the gym.They've got a new machine in.

Only used it for half an hour asI started to feel sick. It's great though.

It does everything -KitKats, Mars bars, Snickers, Crisps….

THE ANSWERS TO THE RIDDLES ON PAGE 61. The third room. Lions that haven't eaten in threeyears are dead. That one was easy, right?2. The woman was a photographer. She shot apicture of her husband, developed it, and hung itup to dry (shot; held under water; and hung).3. Charcoal, as it is used in barbecuing.4. Sure you can name three consecutive days,yesterday, today, and tomorrow!5. The letter e, which is the most common letterused in the English language, does not appear evenonce in the paragraph.

Costambar Monthly

BEGINNER INTERMEDIATE

HIDDEN MESSAGECamaraderie

PASCUAL GOOD FOODPLAYA COSTAMBARSpecializing in Live Lobsters & Seafood

Karaoke Party Every Friday Night!!Open Daily 9am to 12pm

For Parties, Events & ReservationsCall 829-434-9404

FINALLY! Boots for people who don’t knowwhether they are coming or going!

Give a person a fish andyou feed him for a day.

Teach a person to use theInternet and he won't bother

you for weeks, months,maybe years

Costambar Monthly

THE VERY FIRST SENIOR MOMENT!

INTERNATIONAL GOURMETCUISINE

&AUSTRIAN SPECIALTIES

Life is sexually transmitted!

A guy stuck his head into a barbershop and asked,'How long before I can get a haircut?'The barber looked around the shop full ofcustomers and said, 'About 2 hours.'The guy left.A few days later, the same guy stuck his headin the door and asked, 'How long before I can geta haircut?'The barber looked around at the shop and said,'About 3 hours.'The guy left.A week later, the same guy stuck his head inthe shop and asked, 'How long before I can get ahaircut?The barber looked around the shop and said,'About an hour and a half .'The guy left.The barber turned to his friend and said,'Hey, Bob, do me a favour. Follow that guy andsee where he goes. He keeps asking how long hehas to wait for a haircut, but then he doesn't evercome back.'A little while later, Bob returned to the shop,laughing hysterically.The barber asked, 'So, where does that guy gowhen he leaves?'Bob looked up, wiped the tears from his eyesand said,..........'Your house!


Costambar Monthly

Annette Gambardella809-869-0054

Email [email protected]

Basics taught in Merengue, Bachata & Salsa*Hip Action*Arm Styling

*Turns*Balance & more

WeeklyTuesday evenings 7:30pm (starting Oct 4)

Wednesday mornings 10am (starting Oct 5)

The Pink House (La Casa Rosada)Calle Cristobal Colon #6

Only RD$200 per class

Small towelBottle of water

Comfortable shoes(not sneaker/tennis shoes)

FLEA MARKET!!!

EVERY LAST SATURDAY OF THE MONTHStarting at 10am

FREE TO VENDORS!!!

COME FOR THE GREAT FOODAT GREAT PRICES AND THE

MILLION DOLLAR VIEW!

POWER HOUR 6-7PM!!!!3X1 CUBA LIBRES!!!!

Amigos de 4 Patas rescues street dogs all the time. Andthese dogs need homes. Costambar Monthly is pleased tosupport their efforts. For more info on this month’s dogfor adoption or any others contact Carolina at 829-520-7265 or follow them on Facebook.

THE POOP ON THIS PUP!Name: Little Zebrina.Age: 9 monthsShots: YesNeutered: Yes.Rabies Shot: YesRescued by: Adriana Riticelli.With Amigos 4 Patas since:July 2011.She loves to play and eat!!!She is a cutie and is theperfect size - about 1 foot.

Baby Pic

If you want toadopt Zebrina(and who couldresist!) contactthe Amigos now!

TAKE ME HOME!

Costambar Monthly

Health Insurance Premiumsformerly paid at Sam's Barare now paid at Big Lee'sthe 1st Tuesday of every month.

BIKINI FRIDAY, NOV. 11thYes, your waitresses will be in Bikinis …

Good clean fun ANDa Cook Out on the same day!!!

Chicken Wings, Hamburgers and Cheeseburgers! 5 p.m. - 9 p.m., Bikinis and Food.Get here early to get a good seat!

"Thank you Friends for a Great Opening in October!"~Big Lee

On the Malecon,LOOK for the 7'Electric Palm Tree!

There were 3 good arguments that Jesus wasBlack:1. He called everyone brother2. He liked Gospel3. He didn't get a fair trialBut then there were 3 equally good argumentsthat Jesus was Jewish:1. He went into His Father's business2. He lived at home until he was 333. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and hisMother was sure He was GodBut then there were 3 equally good argumentsthat Jesus was Italian:1. He talked with His hands2. He had wine with His meals3. He used olive oilBut then there were 3 equally good argumentsthat Jesus was a Californian:1. He never cut His hair2. He walked around barefoot all the time3. He started a new religionBut then there were 3 equally good argumentsthat Jesus was an American Indian:1. He was at peace with nature2. He ate a lot of fish3. He talked about the Great SpiritBut then there were 3 equally good argumentsthat Jesus was Irish:1. He never got married..2. He was always telling stories.3. He loved green pastures.But the most compelling evidence of all -3 proofs that Jesus was a WOMAN:1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when therewas virtually no food.2. He kept trying to get a message across to abunch of men who just didn't get it.3. And even when He was dead, He had to get upbecause there was still work to do.

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night.It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landedon Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If you arein a vacuum and someone calls your name, canyou hear it?'She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on oroff?'

LORD, THEY ARE FINALLY TOGETHER...Judy got married and had 13 children.Her first husband, Ted, died of cancer.She married again, and she & Bob had 7 morechildren..Bob was killed in a car accident 12 years later.Judy again, remarried, and this time, she & Johnhad 5 more children.Judy finally died, after having 25 children.Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed forher. He thanked the Lord for this very lovingwoman and said, "Lord, they are finally together."Ethel leaned over and quietly asked her bestfriend, Margaret: "Do you think he means her first,second, or third husband?"Margaret replied "I think he means her legs, Ethel."

I was walking through the cemeterythis morning and saw a guycrouching down behind a tombstone.I said, "Morning."He said, "No, just taking a shit."


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VILLA FOR RENT BY THE WEEK

CasaObear/LoaseVilla

LoaseResort

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To avoid it...Eat right!Make sure you get your daily dose of fruit andveggies.Take your vitamins and bump up your vitamin C.Get plenty of exercise because it builds yourimmune system.Walk for at least an hour a day, go for a swim,Take the stairs instead of the elevator, etc.Wash your hands often. If you can't, keep a bottleof antibacterial stuff around.Get lots of fresh air. Open doors & windowswhenever possible.Try to eliminate as much stress from your life asyou can.Get plenty of rest.ORTake the doctor's approach. Think about it - whenyou go for a flu jab, what do they do first? Theyclean your arm with alcohol....Why? .So...I walk to the bar. (exercise)I put lime in my vodka. (fruit)Celery in my Bloody Mary (veggies)Drink outdoors on the patio. (fresh air)Tell rude jokes and laugh. (eliminate stress)Then I pass out. (rest)The way I see it. If you keep your alcohol levels up,flu germs can't get you!

Last year I replaced all the windows in my housewith that expensive double-panel energy efficientkind, and today, I got a call from the contractorwho installed them.He was complaining that the work had beencompleted a whole year ago and I still hadn't paidfor them.Hellllloooooo just because I'm blonde doesn't meanthat I am automatically stupid.So, I told him just what his fast talking sales guyhad told me last year, that in ONE YEAR thesewindows would pay for themselves!Hellllooooooo? It's been a year! I told him.There was only silence at the other end of the line,so I finally just hung up. He never called back. I bethe felt like an idiot!!

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Check Out Our Menu!Made by Charo!Great Prices!

THE FUN TIMES ARE BACK IN TOWN!!!!NOW OPEN ON CALLE CADIZ!

FORMERLY THE GYM BAR (IN FRONT OF BARLOVENTO)

Tuesday NightsHans is backWith DARTS!

Buffalo WingWednesdays

Our Specialty!!

Karaoke FridaysWith Rockin’ Shawn & Ken!

Retro DanceSaturday NightsFun! Fun! Fun!

POOLTABLE!

FOOSBALLTABLE!

SATELLITETV FORSPORTS!

DARTS!

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Wellness & Health CenterGym, Spa & Beauty Salon

This month we offer you the following special packages:

Get 40% off on our Salon Services

It is a non-invasive technique designed to help polish the skin,buffing away fine lines and wrinkles and helping the skin have a

more youthful glowUS$50

Call809-970-31 10809-970-3073

For more informationAnd to make your appointment

Costambar, Puerto PlataDominican Republic

Hydradermabrasion

We now offer Permanent Laser Hair Removal!

costambar monthly november 2011

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