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1.1. Do you think fathers are as important to children as Do you think fathers are as important to children as mothers are? Why or why not?mothers are? Why or why not?

This is an open-ended question. (Fathers are thought of This is an open-ended question. (Fathers are thought of as important to children as mothers are in terms of their as important to children as mothers are in terms of their financial and emotional support to the family.) financial and emotional support to the family.)

Reference:Reference:

2.2. What’s the image of a “good family man”?What’s the image of a “good family man”?

A good family man can be considered as one who strives A good family man can be considered as one who strives to fulfill his family responsibilities as a husband and to fulfill his family responsibilities as a husband and father, or who puts his family duties first.father, or who puts his family duties first.


3. A working father as a family bread winner is often 3. A working father as a family bread winner is often too busy to take care of his family. Now people have a too busy to take care of his family. Now people have a negative image of the working father. What do you negative image of the working father. What do you think of the “working father”?think of the “working father”?

I think working fathers deserve our recognition and our I think working fathers deserve our recognition and our thanks for what they do.thanks for what they do.


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The Unsung Heroes: What About Working Dads?

On our first “date” after our twin daughters were born, my husband and I went to see the movie Toy Story. We enjoyed it, but afterward my husband asked, “Where was the dad?” At first, it seemed petty to criticize an entertaining family movie because of one small point. The more I thought about it, however, the more glaring an omission it seemed. Not only was dad not around, he wasn’t even mentioned —despite the fact that there was a baby in the family, so dad couldn't't have been that long gone. It was as if the presence — or absence — of a father is a minor detail, not even requiring an explanation.

This is only one example of the media trend toward marginalizing fathers, which mirrors enormous social changes in the United States. David Blankenhorn, in his book Fatherless America, refers to this trend as the “unnecessary father” concept.

We are bombarded by stories about the struggles of working mothers (as opposed to non-working mothers, I suppose). Meanwhile,

high proportion of media stories about fathers focus on abusive husbands or deadbeat dads. It seems that the only time fathers merit attention is when they are criticized for not helping enough with the housework (a claim that I find dubious anyway, because the definition of “housework” rarely includes cleaning the gutters, changing the oil in the car or other jobs typically done by men) or when they die. WhenMr. Blankenhorn surveyed fathers about the meaning of the term “good family man,” many responded that it was a phrase they only heard at funerals

One exception to the “unnecessary father” syndrome is the glowing media attention that at-home dads have received. I do not mean to imply that at-home dads do not deserve support for making this commitment. I only mean to point out the double standard at work when at-home dads

are applauded while at-home mothers and breadwinner fathers are given little, if any, cultural recognition.

The very language we use to discuss men’s roles (i.e., deadbeat dads) shows a lack of appreciation for the majority of men who quietly yet proudly fulfill their family responsibilities. We almost never hear the term “working father,” and it is rare that calls for more workplace flexibility are considered to be for men as much as for women. Our society acts as if family obligations are not as important to fathers as they are to mothers — as if career satisfaction is what a man's life is all about. Even more insulting is the recent media trend of regarding at-home wives as “status symbols” — like an expensive car — flaunted by the supposedly few men who can afford such a luxury. The implication is that men with at-home wives have it easier than those whose wives work outside the home because they have the “luxury” of a full-time housekeeper. In reality, however, the men who are the sole wage earners for their families suffer a lot of stresses. The loss of a job —

or even the threat of that happening — is obviously much more difficult when that job is the sole source of income for a family. By the same token, sole wage earners have less flexibility when it comes to leaving unsatisfying careers because of the loss of income such a job change entails. In addition, many husbands work overtime or second jobs to make more needed money for their families. For these men, it is the family that the job supports that makes it all worthwhile. It is the belief that having a mother at home is important to the children, which makes so many men gladly take on the burden of being a sole wage earner.

Today, there is widespread agreement among researchers that the absence of fathers from households causes serious problems for children and, consequently, for society at large. Yet, rather than holding up “ordinary” fathers as positive role models for the dads of tomorrow, too often society has thrown up its hands and decided that traditional fatherhood is at best obsolete and at worst dangerously

reactionary. This has left many men questioning

the value of their role as fathers.

As a society, we need to realize that fathers

are just as important to children as mothers are

—not only for financial support, but for

emotional support, education and discipline as

well. It is not enough for us merely to recognize that fatherlessness

is a problem — to stand beside the grave and mourn the loss of the

“good family man” and then try to find someone to replace him (ask

anyone who has lost a father though death if that is possible). We

must acknowledge how we have devalued fatherhood and work to show men how necessary, how important they are in their children’s lives.

Those fathers who strive to be good family men by being there every day to love and support their families — those unsung heroes — need our recognition and our thanks for all they do. Because they deserve it.

The more I thought about it, however, the more glaring an The more I thought about it, however, the more glaring an omission it seemed. omission it seemed.

ParaphraseParaphrase

??

Paraphrase Paraphrase

The more I thought about the absence of the father in The more I thought about the absence of the father in the movie, the more I became aware of the seriousness the movie, the more I became aware of the seriousness of the failure to mention the father.of the failure to mention the father.

refer to…as…refer to…as… vv. .

—— call … as…, regard … as call … as…, regard … as

ExamplesExamples

• Don’t Don’t refer torefer to your sister your sister asas a silly cow! (= Don’t call a silly cow! (= Don’t call your sister silly cow.) your sister silly cow.)

• The speaker The speaker referred toreferred to him him asas an up-and-coming an up-and-coming young Democrat. young Democrat.

Bombard Bombard v.

—— worry with questions, requests, complaints, etc. worry with questions, requests, complaints, etc.

ExamplesExamples

• The audience The audience bombardedbombarded him with many questions. him with many questions.

• I’m not very keen on watching TV, because whenever I’m not very keen on watching TV, because whenever you turn it on, you are you turn it on, you are bombardedbombarded with a lot of with a lot of advertisements.advertisements.

Meanwhile, a high Meanwhile, a high proportionproportion of media stories about of media stories about fathers focus on abusive husbands or deadbeat dads.fathers focus on abusive husbands or deadbeat dads.


??


At the same time, we are exposed to a lot of stories in At the same time, we are exposed to a lot of stories in media which depict men as husbands who mistreat media which depict men as husbands who mistreat their wives or as fathers who are good for nothing.their wives or as fathers who are good for nothing.

proportionproportion

——relation of one thing to another in quantity, size, etc.relation of one thing to another in quantity, size, etc.

ExamplesExamples

• The The proportionproportion of men to women in the population has of men to women in the population has changed in recent years. changed in recent years.

• His reputation bore no His reputation bore no proportionproportion to his merit. to his merit.

One exception to the “unnecessary father” syndrome is the One exception to the “unnecessary father” syndrome is the glowing media attention that at-home dads have received.glowing media attention that at-home dads have received.


??


The media have paid special attention to at-home The media have paid special attention to at-home dads, which is an exception to the “unnecessary dads, which is an exception to the “unnecessary father” tendency in society. father” tendency in society.

fulfill fulfill v.

—— perform, carry out, accomplish perform, carry out, accomplish

ExamplesExamples

• He had He had fulfilledfulfilled many of his youthful ambitions before many of his youthful ambitions before he was fifty. he was fifty.

• The administration failed to The administration failed to fulfillfulfill its promises to its promises to revive the economy of the country. revive the economy of the country.

and it is rare that calls for more workplace and it is rare that calls for more workplace flexibilityflexibility are are considered to be for men as much as for women.considered to be for men as much as for women.


??


People seldom consider giving as much flexibility People seldom consider giving as much flexibility about where one can work to men as to women. about where one can work to men as to women.

flexibility flexibility n.n.

——state of willing to easily change to adapt to new state of willing to easily change to adapt to new conditions.conditions.

ExamplesExamples

• He has enough He has enough flexibilityflexibility to cope with the job. to cope with the job.

• A man devoid of imaginative A man devoid of imaginative flexibilityflexibility could not be a could not be a successful actor. successful actor.

supposedly supposedly ad.

—— as believed, as it appears as believed, as it appears

ExamplesExamples

• SupposedlySupposedly she is a rich woman., but no one knows for she is a rich woman., but no one knows for sure. sure.

• He went home to his father He went home to his father supposedlysupposedly to help him. to help him.

by the same token by the same token ad.

—— in the same way; for the same reason in the same way; for the same reason

ExamplesExamples

• We are grateful to you for giving us shelter for the We are grateful to you for giving us shelter for the night. night. By the same tokenBy the same token, we should like to thank your , we should like to thank your wife for all her kindness.wife for all her kindness.

• Since she was born in a very rich family she had never Since she was born in a very rich family she had never seen such poverty before, and seen such poverty before, and by the same tokenby the same token she she could not quite believe that the children could not go could not quite believe that the children could not go to school. to school.

… … when it comes to …when it comes to … ad.

—— when it concerns… when it concerns…

ExamplesExamples

• When it comes toWhen it comes to politics, I’m an absolute outsider. politics, I’m an absolute outsider.

• When it comes toWhen it comes to mathematics, I’m completely at sea. mathematics, I’m completely at sea.

entailentail v.

—— involve; make necessary involve; make necessary

ExamplesExamples

• This job would This job would entailentail exceptional competence in exceptional competence in computers. computers.

• The flood relief effort will The flood relief effort will entailentail great expense by the great expense by the local government. local government.

take ontake on v.

—— undertake, charge oneself with; assume responsibility undertake, charge oneself with; assume responsibility for; employ for; employ

ExamplesExamples

• My doctor says I’m too tired and has advised me not My doctor says I’m too tired and has advised me not to to take ontake on any more work. any more work.

• In order to support the family, he has to In order to support the family, he has to take ontake on some some extra work.extra work.

• They They took her ontook her on as a secretary in the company. as a secretary in the company.

at largeat large ad.

—— in general in general

ExamplesExamples

• Did the people Did the people at largeat large approve of the government’s approve of the government’s decision? decision?

• The country The country at largeat large is hoping for great changes, is hoping for great changes, which probably would not materialize. which probably would not materialize.

Yet, rather than Yet, rather than holding upholding up “ordinary” fathers “ordinary” fathers asas positive role models for the dads of tomorrow, too often positive role models for the dads of tomorrow, too often society has society has thrown up its handsthrown up its hands and decided that and decided that traditional fatherhood is at best obsolete and traditional fatherhood is at best obsolete and at worstat worst dangerously reactionary.dangerously reactionary.


??


Instead of offering “ordinary” fathers as good Instead of offering “ordinary” fathers as good examples for fathers of the future, society has too examples for fathers of the future, society has too often given up its efforts and come to think that often given up its efforts and come to think that traditional fatherhood is at best out of date and at traditional fatherhood is at best out of date and at worst against social progress. worst against social progress.


hold up…ashold up…as v.

—— show or offer…as (an example, a model, etc.) show or offer…as (an example, a model, etc.)

ExamplesExamples

• He was He was held up asheld up as an example to every student. an example to every student.

• Grandfather always Grandfather always held upheld up his youngest son his youngest son asas a a model of diligence. model of diligence.


Throw up one’s handsThrow up one’s hands v.

—— admit that one cannot succeed; surrender admit that one cannot succeed; surrender ExamplesExamples

• The enemy soldiers The enemy soldiers threw up their handsthrew up their hands in horror in horror when the tanks first appeared in front of their when the tanks first appeared in front of their trenches. trenches.

• It is very courageous of him not to It is very courageous of him not to throw up his handsthrow up his hands and admit failure when the shop went bankrupt. and admit failure when the shop went bankrupt.


at (the) worstat (the) worst ad.

—— if one thinks of it in the worst way if one thinks of it in the worst way

ExamplesExamples

• He’s a fool at best, and He’s a fool at best, and at (the) worstat (the) worst he’s a criminal. he’s a criminal.

• At the worstAt the worst, they can say they didn’t see what , they can say they didn’t see what happened. happened.

devaluedevalue v.

—— cause or be responsible for a lessening of value or cause or be responsible for a lessening of value or quality quality

ExamplesExamples

• Lots of people tried to Lots of people tried to devaluedevalue the great writer’s work, the great writer’s work, all in vain. all in vain.

• We shall have to We shall have to devaluedevalue our currency soon if we don’t our currency soon if we don’t want to see a sharp drop in our exports.want to see a sharp drop in our exports.

strivestrive v.

—— struggle hard struggle hard

ExamplesExamples

• He He strovestrove for recognition as an abstract artist. for recognition as an abstract artist.

• He is persistently and energetically He is persistently and energetically strivingstriving to carry to carry out his plans. out his plans.

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Discuss the following Discuss the following pictures with your classmates.pictures with your classmates.

1.1. Would you like to change careers or even give up Would you like to change careers or even give up jobs at the request of your spouse? Why or why not? jobs at the request of your spouse? Why or why not?

Yes, I would, if he/she has a promising career and is more Yes, I would, if he/she has a promising career and is more likely to be successful. Because what is important to a likely to be successful. Because what is important to a husband and a wife is the mutual understanding and husband and a wife is the mutual understanding and support of each other. (Or: No, I would not. Because the support of each other. (Or: No, I would not. Because the change of jobs may mean working and living in a new change of jobs may mean working and living in a new community, and separating from old friends.)community, and separating from old friends.)


2.2. What do you think of men being “accompanying What do you think of men being “accompanying partners”, who change their jobs or move to new partners”, who change their jobs or move to new cities because of their wives’ transfer? cities because of their wives’ transfer?

I think those men are courageous and admirable. It I think those men are courageous and admirable. It is not easy to be “accompanying partners”, because is not easy to be “accompanying partners”, because it is a challenge to their ego and self-confidence. And it is a challenge to their ego and self-confidence. And they will have to take on a new role in a new they will have to take on a new role in a new environment.environment.


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Men Move Men Move in the Wake of Wives’ Jobs

PHOENIX — Things have changed since Mark Breidenbach and Chris Walker grew up 30 years ago in homes anchored by Dad, the breadwinner, and Mom, the caretaker.

Breidenbach and Walker, both married to corporate vice presidents, are among the estimated two million American men who, according to the U.S. Census Bureau4, give up jobs and follow their spouses to new cities each year. It’s a bitter pill to swallow for some men.

“It poses real problems from a self-confidence standpoint for some men when they’re without that part of their identity that they derive from their careers,” says Laura Piel, president of Renaissance Personnel Group in Phoenix

For Breidenbach and Walker, putting their families first, treating their wives as partners and being secure in their job skills have made

it workable.

“Throw your pride in the trash,” advises

Breidenbach, 35, who moved to Dallas from

Phoenix in December with his wife Gillian, a vice

president at Bank of America, and their two

young sons. “We live in a new world that’s

changing, and you need to embrace it.”

Walker, 39, changed careers 18 months ago, when travel required by

his job as a bank vice president began to interfere with the schedule of his wife Joan, a vice president for Avnet. He now works in real estate, frequently from his Phoenix home, and enjoys the flexibility to care for their two children.

“It never bothered me that Joan worked,” Walker says. “I expect her to be president of Avnet someday.”

Women are earning MBAs at a faster rate than men and are relocating their families to new cities at a greater percentage than husbands, Census Bureau figures show. Women account for 46% of the U.S. workforce and may outnumber men in it by the year 2025, according to the Washington, D.C.-based Employment Policy Foundation.

“As more women move up the corporate ladder, they are increasingly viewed as the best person for the job and are more likely to be transferred as they advance their careers,” says John Challenger, chief executive officer of Challenger, Gray & Christmas Inc., a Chicago outplacement firm.

Challenger says many husbands of successful women struggle with being uprooted from their families, friends and work, and assuming a new role in a new environment.

“Many have a difficult time being the trailing spouse because of ego and role issues, and often the world doesn't understand it or accept it, so it makes it harder,” Challenger says.

Valerina Quintana of the University of Arizona’s career development center winces at the phrase “trailing spouse,” because “it sounds like the appendage of a kite.” Quintana’s office helped 34 “accompanying partners” of new university employees find work last fiscal year. Men and women handle relocations differently, she says.

“Women let me know the emotionality around the move,” Quintana says. “With men, it’s more matter-of-fact. They are very focused on finding a position.”

Breidenbach, who left MicroAge, used BofA’s relocation services but ultimately found a management position at a Dallas software firm via the Internet. He took a month off between jobs to get his family established.

“He picked up all the traditional women responsibilities — checking out day care, taking the kids to the park, meeting with the (house) builder,” says Gillian Breidenbach. “He’s extremely proud of what I do and extremely supportive.”

Challenger says expressing your feelings before a move is

crucial, as is becoming involved in your community quickly after it: “If

you’re going to look for a job, you should engage in the process

immediatelyand not look back. Take a class, join a church,

meet people and get meaning in your life.”

Lori Hartman lived apart from her husband John

in five cities for seven years while her career took

off. The couple have been together for seven

years in Phoenix, where they both now work for Avnet. Trust and

respect made the long separations possible

“I feel like we’re settled, but I’d love to pack up and go to Europe or Singapore or Hong Kong to work,” Hartman says.

in the wake ofin the wake of prep. prep.

— — after, following after, following

ExamplesExamples

• Dolphins followed Dolphins followed in the wake ofin the wake of the ship. the ship.

• Traders came Traders came in the wake ofin the wake of the conquering armies. the conquering armies.

anchoranchor v.v.

—— (cause to) be fixed firmly (cause to) be fixed firmly

ExamplesExamples

• They They anchoredanchored their boat in a quiet bay. their boat in a quiet bay.

• As people ran screaming, I stood, As people ran screaming, I stood, anchoredanchored to the to the ground, watching the scene in horror. ground, watching the scene in horror.

swallowswallow v.v.

—— cause or allow to go down the throat cause or allow to go down the throat

ExamplesExamples

• They rushed her to the hospital after she They rushed her to the hospital after she swallowedswallowed a a coin. coin.

—— believe believe

ExamplesExamples

• I trusted her so much that I would have I trusted her so much that I would have swallowedswallowed any any story she told me. story she told me.

It poses real problems from a self-confidence standpoint It poses real problems from a self-confidence standpoint for some men when they're without that part of their for some men when they're without that part of their identity that they identity that they derive fromderive from their careers, … their careers, …


From the point of view of self-confidence, it brings about From the point of view of self-confidence, it brings about real problems for some men when they don't have the real problems for some men when they don't have the identity that they obtain from their jobs. identity that they obtain from their jobs.

It poses real problems from a self-confidence standpoint It poses real problems from a self-confidence standpoint for some men when they’re without that part of their for some men when they’re without that part of their identity that they identity that they derive fromderive from their careers, … their careers, …

derive fromderive from v.v.

—— obtain from; come from obtain from; come from

ExamplesExamples

• He He derivesderives a lot of pleasure a lot of pleasure fromfrom meeting new people. meeting new people.

• He will take no part in a transaction He will take no part in a transaction fromfrom which he which he does not does not derivederive a benefit. a benefit.

interfere withinterfere with v.v.

—— come into opposition, hinder or prevent come into opposition, hinder or prevent

ExamplesExamples

• I wish you would stop I wish you would stop interfering withinterfering with my plans . my plans .

• Don’t Don’t interfere withinterfere with him while he’s working on his him while he’s working on his novel. novel.

interfere ininterfere in v.v.

—— take part in sth. without being invited to take part in sth. without being invited to

ExamplesExamples

• That woman is always That woman is always interfering ininterfering in other people’s other people’s affairs. affairs.

account foraccount for v.v.

—— make up part or proportion of make up part or proportion of

ExamplesExamples

• Exports to the Far East Exports to the Far East accounts foraccounts for at least a third of at least a third of our sales abroad.our sales abroad.

• Male students Male students account foraccount for roughly two thirds of the roughly two thirds of the whole class. whole class.

—— explain the cause of; serve as an explanation of explain the cause of; serve as an explanation of

ExamplesExamples

• He has been asked to He has been asked to account foraccount for his conduct while his conduct while studying abroad. studying abroad.

outnumber outnumber v.v.

—— be greater in number than be greater in number than

ExamplesExamples

• The police were The police were outnumberedoutnumbered ten to one by the rioters. ten to one by the rioters. The Socialists were temporarily The Socialists were temporarily outnumberedoutnumbered by the by the Liberal Democrats. Liberal Democrats.

… … struggle with being struggle with being uprooteduprooted from their families, from their families, friends and work…friends and work…


……find it hard to cope with being taken away from the find it hard to cope with being taken away from the surroundings they are used to. surroundings they are used to.

uprootuproot v.v.

—— remove from one's home, settled habits, etc remove from one's home, settled habits, etc

ExamplesExamples

• To take the new job she had to To take the new job she had to uprootuproot her whole her whole family and settle abroad.family and settle abroad.

• The outbreak of war The outbreak of war uprooteduprooted many families. many families.

• After he had lived in New York for 20 years his After he had lived in New York for 20 years his employer employer uprooteduprooted him and sent him to Chicago. him and sent him to Chicago.

… … struggle with being struggle with being uprooteduprooted from their families, from their families, friends and work…friends and work…

assume assume v.

—— take up, undertake take up, undertake

ExamplesExamples

• You will You will assumeassume your new duties as editor tomorrow. your new duties as editor tomorrow.

• I made a mistake and I will I made a mistake and I will assumeassume responsibility for responsibility for it. it.

assume assume v.

—— 2)2) take as a fact or as true without proof; suppose; take as a fact or as true without proof; suppose; believe sth will happen believe sth will happen

ExamplesExamples

• AssumingAssuming it rains tomorrow, what shall we do about it rains tomorrow, what shall we do about the open-air rally?the open-air rally?

• Let’s Let’s assumeassume that she'll catch the 5:30 and be here by that she'll catch the 5:30 and be here by 7:00. 7:00.

……winces at the phrase “trailing spouse”…winces at the phrase “trailing spouse”…


……feels suddenly uncomfortable at the phrase “trailing feels suddenly uncomfortable at the phrase “trailing spouse.” Or: …draws back at the phrase “trailing spouse.” Or: …draws back at the phrase “trailing spouse.”spouse.”

““Women let me know the emotionality around the move,” Women let me know the emotionality around the move,” Quintana says. “With men, it’s more matter-of-fact…Quintana says. “With men, it’s more matter-of-fact… ” ”


According to Quintana, women tell her how the removal According to Quintana, women tell her how the removal to a new location affects them emotionally and men to a new location affects them emotionally and men practically. practically.

ultimatelyultimately v.v.

—— finally, in the end finally, in the end

ExamplesExamples

• UltimatelyUltimately, everything will depend on how much , everything will depend on how much money we are allowed to spend. money we are allowed to spend.

• We are considering all their plans, but I’m sure We are considering all their plans, but I’m sure ultimatelyultimately we will choose to follow our own. we will choose to follow our own.

pick uppick up v.v.

—— learn casually through observation and practice learn casually through observation and practice

ExamplesExamples

• I've I've picked uppicked up some Spanish, and other languages too, some Spanish, and other languages too, during my stay in South America. during my stay in South America.

• Watching his operations day after day, I Watching his operations day after day, I picked uppicked up a a bit of surgery from him. bit of surgery from him.

feel likefeel like v.v.

—— be inclined for be inclined for

ExamplesExamples

• I just I just felt likefelt like bursting into tears. bursting into tears.

• I don’t I don’t feel likefeel like drinking just now. drinking just now.

pack uppack up v.v.

—— put belongings in a case or bag for leaving put belongings in a case or bag for leaving

ExamplesExamples

• He He packed uppacked up all his belongings in a battered suitcase all his belongings in a battered suitcase and left the same day.and left the same day.

• Once the term finishes we all Once the term finishes we all pack uppack up and go home. and go home.

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