effective parenting first pillar

8/11/2019 Effective Parenting First Pillar

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Effective Parenting

A New Paradigm

Suggests a fresh avatar for the new age parent

Has the potential to make a goodparent thebestparent

Ramendra Kumar


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Publisher

Learning And Creativity

76/2, 3rd Floor, East of Kailash, New Delhi - 110065 India

Ph: +91.11.2643.2021, 41624097

[email protected]

Copyright Ramendra Kumar 2014

Edition: 2014

All rights are reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted inany form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise,

without prior permission of Learning And Creativity.
http://www.learningandcreativity.com/mailto:[email protected]:[email protected]:[email protected]://www.learningandcreativity.com/


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Effective Parenting: A New Paradigmby Ramendra Kumar

www.learningandcreativity.comPage 4 of 29

Dedicated to

My Father,

Dr. R. K. Khandelwal

My Hero

When I was five

My father was the greatest,

He was my Hero

Better than the best.

My best friend was he

When I was ten,

Someone to love and trust

And have lots of fun.

The kite that wouldnt fly

The boat that refused to sail,Every test my Hero passed

Not once did he fail.

Of love and togetherness

We shared many a moment,

His future he neglected

But never even once my present.

He regarded quality timeHis most precious gift,

Even if it meant

Giving his career a bit of short shrift.


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When I was twenty

He suddenly became a stranger,

I was Mister Know-All

And the cool, lonely ranger.

I thought he was a failure

Who had achieved nothing in life

Neither wealth, nor status nor position

He was merely a father to his son, a husband to his wife.

When he should have been climbing the ladder

He wasted his time on the family,

Instead of being busy in meetings

He was tending my hurting knee.

I envied my friend his fathers success

And felt very small,

How I wished my father too was a Chairman

So that I could strut proud and tall.

One day my friend saw my album

Of the time when I was nearly ten,

In it were all the memories

The love, the joy, the fun.

As he scanned the snaps

His face grew long and sad,

I wish we could trade places

And I could have such a loving Dad.

I have everything, my friend said,

That money and status can buy

Yet in my album

There is no photo of Dad and I.


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While I was growing up

My Dad too was busy growing,

And in my stock of photos

There is not a single one worth showing.

You have so many memories to treasure

While I have none,

Though I may have a swanky car and a big house

I have lost a childhood of love and fun.

As my friend left

I had tears in my eyes,

How selfish and mean I had been

He made me realize.

I went to my father

A tired and crumpled man

I told him, I am sorry,

But I love you more than anyone ever can.

As he took me in his arms

And both of us began to cry,

He was once again my Hero

And I only five.


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CONTENTS

About The Author 09

Foreword 10

Introduction 11

FIRST PILLAR: The Pillar of Sharing 13

Parenting Pointers 15

The New ATM 17The Goliath Of Technology 19

Dear Mister God(Short Story) 20

SECOND PILLAR:The Pillar of Caring 24


The Performing Monkey (Short Story) 29

An Ordinary Boy (Poem) 39

THIRD PILLAR:The Pillar of Fun and Joy 41


The Miracle Park (Short Story) 46

FOURTH PILLAR:The Pillar of Healthy Living 55


TheHandicap (Short Story) 60

FIFTH PILLAR: The Pillar of Invaluable Values 67

Children Learn What They Live (Poem) 76

The Pebble on the Beach (Short Story) 77


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KAHAANI KONNECT (MORE SHORT STORIES) 83

1. By a Whisker 84

2. Babolito 90

3.

The Question 95

4. Fairy Tale Country 100

5. A Ghost Called Fachaak 107

6. The Jungle Icons 112

7. Chintukali Ka Anda 117

8. The Tyranny of Tsunami 124

9. A Winner At Last 130

10.

Time Pass Uncle 135

11. Champ 141

12. Shaolin 148

13. The Scarecrow 156

14. In Pursuit of Passion 160

15. Fair Play 167

16. The Chess Players 175

17.

The Best Gift 18318. The Baton of Friendship 193

19. The Professor and the Pickpocket 200

20. A Father And A Patriot 210


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About the Author

Ramendra Kumar (Ramen) is an award winning

author with 25 books to his credit. He spins yarns

mainly for the young and the young at heart. Heis a Writer by Passion whose works have been

published and translated into several Indian and

foreign languages and six of his books have been

recommended as readers for CBSE, India. His

stories have found a place in text books and

anthologies published across the world.

He also dabbles in satire, poetry, fiction and

travelogues. Being an inspirational speaker and

storyteller, he is a regular at leading seminars

and literary festivals in India and abroad.

He is the father of two children Ankita and

Aniket who are bonsai celebrities in their own

right! Ankita topped the state of Odisha in her

class twelve exam while Aniket won a scholarship

to Oxford-Brookes University for his project on

wild life conservation.

Ramen is a regular contributor toLearning &

Creativitye-journal.Click hereto read hispublished writings in Learning & Creativity.

Ramen is working as Chief of Communications,

Rourkela Steel Plant, Odisha.MOHINI ,his first

book for adults has been making waves in the

publishing world with the first edition sold out in

the very first week of its release. His read aloud

book, PAP LU THE GIANT was selected to

mark the International Literacy Day on

September 7, 2013.

He has his own websitewww.ramendra.in and a

page devoted to him on Wikipedia.
http://learningandcreativity.com/http://learningandcreativity.com/http://learningandcreativity.com/http://learningandcreativity.com/http://learningandcreativity.com/ramendrakumar/http://learningandcreativity.com/ramendrakumar/http://learningandcreativity.com/ramendrakumar/http://learningandcreativity.com/mohini-implosion-brightest-star/http://learningandcreativity.com/mohini-implosion-brightest-star/http://learningandcreativity.com/mohini-implosion-brightest-star/http://learningandcreativity.com/mohini-implosion-brightest-star/http://www.ramendra.in/http://www.ramendra.in/http://www.ramendra.in/http://learningandcreativity.com/mohini-implosion-brightest-star/http://learningandcreativity.com/ramendrakumar/http://learningandcreativity.com/http://learningandcreativity.com/http://learningandcreativity.com/


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Foreword

In my practice as a Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist in UK, I have often come across

various situations where the Nature-Nurture dialogue has figured prominently.

Environmental issues, mainly family related factors, play a vital role in the mental

health of young people. Self-esteem, identity and peer pressure are a only few of the

issues the Generation Z is dealing with in everyday life. Bullying, name-calling and

drawing comparisons make things worse. Ramendra's book on parenting is very timely

to help parents support their children facing such issues.

Effective parenting: a new paradigm is not a DIY workbook nor is it a parenting manual.

However, it does allow the reader to pause, think, reflect and help make parenting a

joyful experience. This book is a great effort from the master story-teller to give readers

an opportunity to walk into his collection of beautiful memories of parenting. It is an

impressive piece of narrative about parenting interspersed with anecdotes and pearls ofwisdom about nurture. His flirtation with nostalgia coupled with stories inspired by his

interactions with young minds and hearts makes this book a unique reading

experiencing. The book reaches out to parents, would-be parents, grandparents,

counsellors and almost everyone who is touched by young people's lives.

The five pillars of parenting that Ramendra has shared in this book are the building

blocks of a healthy parent-child relationship. They provide a distinctive insight into how

virtues of love, warmth, caring and sharing can make a difference to the pure hearts

and pristine minds. His concept of ATM [Any Time Memory card] and Papa's Day-Out

are great examples of creative parenting methods that he has shared in thisbook. Effective Parenting: A New Paradigm has the potential to make a good parent into

the best parent, or as my eight year old daughter put it when she was a pre-schooler: the

'bestest' parent ever! Happy reading.

Dr. Anupam Thakur

Dr. Anupam Thakur is a Child & Adolescent Psychiatrist who has worked in the UK for nearly a

decade. Prior to that, he used to work with young people in a tertiary psychiatry teaching

hospital in India. He is currently a faculty member at University of Toronto and works in Centre forAddiction and Mental Health, Toronto, one of the world's leading centres for research in

addiction and mental health


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INTRODUCTION

The 5 Pillars of the New Paradigm

During the time of our parents and grandparents parenting was no big deal. In fact in

almost all cases it was a shared responsibility. Children grew up with uncles, aunts,

grandparents and of course, parents helping them take on life as it came.

Since then the onslaught of change has created a new society, a new culture and a new

value system. The joint family has morphed into single and double income nuclear

families. The responsibility of bringing up the child now rests squarely on the parents

with little support available from paid help or family. With one and increasingly more

often both parents busy in search of the 9 to 5 (or is it 9 to 9!) Utopia the situation is

becoming a pressure-cooker one.

This apart, the expectations of the parents from the child and vice versa have increased

phenomenally. All these changes put together have turned every concept, ideal and

principle of parenting on its head. To be effective the parent of today has to be a

Memory-Maker, a Juggler, A Humour Promoter, A Sports Catalyst and a Guru of

Values.

I am neither a psychologist nor a social scientist, neither a qualified pediatrician nor a

psychiatrist. I am merely a childrens writer who cares for kids, a parent who loves

children and an adult with shards of memories which still prickle.

In this book I have tried to create a Paradigm of Effective Parenting comprising Five

Pillars of Sharing, Caring, Fun and Joy, Healthy Livingand Invaluable

Values. The Paradigm is based on ideas culled from my own experiences as a child

from a broken home, my observations as a writer for children and my own struggles as a

parent.

The Paradigm is by no means a profound model on the art and science of successful

parenting, nor a quick fix offering an immediate and lasting solution. It is a framework


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offering only gentle suggestions, hints and thoughts which would hopefully serve you as

unobtrusive guides as you journey across the tough terrain of Parenting. I sincerely hope

my straight from the heart, hands-on approach to Parenting helps you become a more

effective parent.

Happy Reading and Happier Parenting!


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FIRSTPILLAR

THE PILLAR OF SHARING

GIFTING YOUR CHILD THE LEGACY OF MEMORIES

To be in your childs memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today.


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What is the most precious gift a parent can give to a child? No, it is not money or things

which money can buy. It is a bundle of memories each a gossamer fabric of fun and

togetherness. And how is this fabric created? By investing time. As someone has said,

Spend time with your kids, and give them the most generous gift of all, your time.

Toys get lost and broken, but memories last a life time. Unfortunately it is time which

is suddenly becoming scarcer by the day.

By spending time I dont mean merely talking a day off, sitting in front of the TV and

giving a bunch of sketch pens and a drawing sheet to your precious one. And during

commercial breaks turning an indulgent eye on her and feeling thrilled that you are the

model parent who is spending quality time with the child. By time I dont mean merely

sharing of physical space, by time I mean involvement, attention and sharing of

emotional space.

Many times when a child rushes to you with a problem or a question or simply an

entreaty what is your response, Not, now. I am busy. Dont disturb, son. Go and ask

your mummy/papa.

This brings to my mind the thoughtful words of Patricia Clafford: The work will wait

while you show the child the rainbow, but the rainbow wont wait while you do the

work.

The relationship between a child and her parent is built on little moments, not on the

edifices of deeds and duties. When she reaches out to you and you brush her aside she

cannot understand the profound reasons for your lack of response. But what she

understands is her own hurt feelings. If you continue to prioritise your priorities over

her concerns soon you will cease to be a priority for her. A stage will come when both of

you would be doing your duty to each other. And in this strait jacket of duty, love, fun

and togetherness will get stifled.

I remember when I was nine years old my father owned an old Lambretta scooter. Every

three months he would take it for servicing to Shankar, the mechanic. Shankars garage

comprised a single room and an open verandah. My father used to take me along on

each of these trips. I had written a novel consisting of 47 pages, in my spidery scrawl.


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While the mechanic worked on the scooter my father would sit in a chair in the

verandah with me perched on a stool beside him. I would keep reading from my maiden

masterpiece and he would listen with rapt attention. Sitting there in the heat, dust and

grime, with the noise of the market around us, with cacophonous exchanges of Shankar

and his boys working as rude punctuation marks the two of us carried on our literary

tryst. After every chapter my father would patiently give his suggestions, answer my

questions and then we would move on. Amidst all that chaos there was never any doubt

in my mind that my father was giving me undivided attention. In this process he created

a memory which I still treasure and will forever and ever. He also helped me imbibe the

value of sharing.

Parenting1

PARENTING POINTERS

Wherever you go out whether it is to the

market, as a judge in a debate

competition or to a bookshop take your

kid along provided of course she is

willing and free. Togetherness and

sharing of the same space can impart a

special meaning even to the most

mundane of activities like buying

vegetables or getting a puncture fixed.

For socialising pick up families where

your kids also feel comfortable.

Make it a point to attend every function

in your kids school whether it is the

annual day, sports day, PTA meeting, nursery convocation or any other event.

Oh! Come on, I can almost hear some of you mutter, I dont have time to

breathe, how the devil do you expect me to juggle my impossible schedule and


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drive 30 odd kilometres in rush hour traffic to watch my kid recite Twinkle,

twinkle little star! But believe me if you manage to make it and see your little

one come on the stage and lisp those lines you will forget all your stresses and

strains. Later those blissful moments of pride you felt as a parent and the joy she

felt as a child will remain forever like bookmarks.

Make dinnertime sacrosanct and TV dinners a no-no. As far as possible have

together breakfast, lunch and dinner on Sundays.

Every night while retiring for the day spend some time with your child. If she is

still a little one tell her stories, if she is older share with her the happenings of the

day and encourage her to do the same. Make sure the last thoughts in her mind

before she sleeps are those of caring and sharing.

Every quarter celebrate Papas Day Out or Mamas Day out. Take the kid out on

a picnic and make sure the entire agenda where to go, what to eat, what to wear

et al, is set by your princess or prince or both.

These are just a few suggestions I have offered.

You too can, using your talents, abilities and

interests think of innovative ways of spending

time with your children and weaving the

gossamer fabric of indelible memories.

Let me add that if you feel by sharing physical

and emotional space with your child you are

doing her a favour forget it. You are doing

yourself a favour. The company of a child is

one of the most effective stress busters provided of course you too become childlike. You

should make every attempt to internalise the qualities of love, joy, innocence and

playfulness. If you are able to do this at least for those precious moments when you are

with her, then youll emerge from the experience in a calmer, happier and more fulfilled

frame of mind. As Fyodor Dostoyevski has said, The soul is healed by being with

children.

Sharing space and spending

time with your child will help

you fight stress, build trust and

cement bonds. Above all, it will

help you create a gossamer

fabric of memories that are

endearing, enduring and

eternal.


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Finally I would like to draw the attention of all parents to these immortal words of Pablo

Neruda, Chilean Poet and Nobel Laureate:

We are guilty of many errors and many faults, but our worst crime is abandoning the

children, neglecting the fountain of life. Many of the things we need can wait. The child

cannot. Right now is the time his bones are being formed, his blood is being made and

his senses are being developed. To him we cannot answer Tomorrow. His name is

Today.

So, dear parents, spend time, make memories and shape your childs Today in such a

loving and caring way that her Tomorrows will bloom and blossom.new_atm

The New ATM

Many of us are so busy getting things for our loved ones by investing money that we

forget to give something which is free but invaluable. I am talking about the gift of a

memory. And this gift comes wrapped in a currency which we all have in plenty but we

perennially complain we are short of - the currency of Time. We should remember that

gadgets get outdated,get broken, clothes get torn, but memories do not get obsolete,

they last a life time.

We have all heard of ATM or Automatic Teller Machine Card. Today I invite you to

invent a new ATM - Any Time Memory Card. This currency is not plastic, it is for real. It

has no value, simply because it is priceless. It has no expiry date and comes in all

denominations. And whether there is a surge or slump in the market this ATM will

always be cherished.

For many years now I too have been making conscious, deliberate efforts at creating

memories to leave behind a legacy of endearing moments for my daughter and son.

Every year during the first burst of rain which usually happens in the month of May we

three go out on the lawn in front of our house. There in broad daylight, clad in our


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shorts, we get totally drenched. As we slide through the slush and mud, singing and

dancing to glory, the moments are captured on camera. This unselfconscious,

uninhibited and unadulterated madness has been going on for years. And when it stops I

dont know who will be sadder my kids or me!

When my kids were still quite young, together we evolved the concept of Papas Day

Out.

My wife Madhavi, who works in the same Steel Plant as me, would be packed off to

office for the day. After attaining freedom, the three of us would go berserk. The entire

agenda would be set by the kids. We would be doing crazy thinks like having lunch for

breakfast and vice versa. We would go to the park or on long drives, eat in seedy places,

which Madhavi wouldnt be found dead in, watch kitschy movies on the DVD player,

sing, dance and do anything and everything which was nutty, wacky and loony. And if it

rained there would be a slight amendment we would solemnly observe Papas Day

In with all the lunacy intact.


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goliathThe Goliath of Technology

Today technology has swamped every aspect of our life and living. Children, in

particular, are busy juggling their lives between the virtual and the real worlds. Some of

them are living so much in the virtual world that the virtual seems to be real and thereal, virtual.

Facebook, Twitter and the myriad other attractions of the virtual world have the

youngsters so much in their thrall that they have very little time, energy or interest in

real life relationships. And if the net doesnt get them in its net we have the ubiquitous

mobile and the irresistible play stations.

How does a parent combat the Goliath of Technology:

By enforcing strict disciplineYou shall not go on Facebook, no Twitter for you.

By becoming a Virtual Vigilante

Stalking your childs activity on the net or reading her text and WhatsApp

messages on the cell.

Each one of these strategies will result in a no-win situation. Enforcing discipline would

only result in rebellion. And there is no point in trying to control something which you

just cant. If you enforce restrictions at home he will simply go to his friends place or the

friendly neighborhood internet parlour and flirt with the net.

The only solution, according to yours truly is to follow the adage: Join em, if you cant

fight em.

My son Aniket told me that his friend Tanvi and her mum Tuhina sit in adjoining rooms

and keep exchanging likes and shares on FB. At first, I found this rather droll. But later I

realized that Tuhinas idea was actually quite cool. She was sharing space and time with

her daughter and establishing a real connect in the virtual world.

So rather than shunning technology or treating it as an enemy it would make far moresense to reach out and embrace it.

Being a vigilante too would be counter-productive. Rather than being mama or papa

Sherlock Holmes it would make far more sense to be a foul weather friend who only

deals in the currency of trust.


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a

Andrew was reversing his car out of the garage when he saw his daughter Avanti walking

down the pathway that led to the main gate. She was dressed up and was holding an

envelope in her hand.

"Where are you going?"

"I ... I ...am going....." Avanti hesitated and then said, "Papa I am going to the post

office."

"Why?"

"I have to drop this letter."

"Give it me, I'll drop it."

Avanti hesitated for a moment and then handed over the envelope. Andrew placed it on

the seat beside him, reversed the car out of the main gate and waving to Avanti drove

off. He was getting late for the office and decided not to stop on the way. From the office

he would send his messenger Jeetram to post the letter.

After reaching his office he rang the bell. As he waited for Jeetram to appear he casually

glanced at the envelope. In a childish scrawl was written the following address:

Dear Mister God


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Mister God

Heaven

High in the Sky.

Andrew tore open the envelope and started reading:

Dear Mister God,

This is my first letter to you. My Mama used to say that you love children very

much. That you always answer their prayers. My Mama died three days after my

seventh birthday. Till then I was very happy. But now I am very, very sad. My Papa

used to laugh and play with me when my Mama was there. But now he hardly talks

to me. He is always very sad. He doesn't laugh and play anymore. In the morning he

leaves early and comes home only after I have gone to bed. Daisy Aunty says he

has started drinking.

Please Mister God, I don't want to stay in this house without Mama. Please, can you

send her back. If you can't send her back because she has already become an

angel, then please take me away with you just as you took Mama away.

I am good girl. You can ask Mama. I always do my homework, make my own bed and

drink my milk. I will not bother you. Please Mister God, I will be waiting.

Love,

Avanti.

Andrew read the letter not once but three times. After a few minutes he got up and

walked to his Boss's room. He told him he wanted leave for the day. After taking

permission he walked out of the office, got into his car and drove straight to his favorite

spot on the outskirts of the city. It overlooked a huge lake and at that time of the day was

quite lonely. There, under the shade of the huge banyan tree, he and his wife Janet had

nicknamed Grandpa Moses, he read the letter again and again...


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He closed his eyes and thought about the events of the last nine months....

Janet had died in a road accident nine months ago. With her death his life had been

completely shattered. Luckily Mrs. Daisy, the governess, had been there to take care of

Avanti or things would have got more complicated. After Janet's death Andrew just

didn't feel like going home. Every little thing in the house reminded him of his Janet and

the moments they had spent together. He started leaving home early in the morning and

working late in the office. From there, instead of heading straight home, he would go to

the nearby bar and start drinking. He would reach home long after Avanti had slept. He

never spared a thought for Avanti convinced that Mrs. Daisy was taking good care of

her. She had been with them for the last three years and Janet had trained her well.

Absorbed in his own sorrow, Andrew had failed to notice his daughter's loneliness. He

had not realized that she was missing her mother as much, if not more, than he was

missing his wife. Avanti needed his love and affection. Mrs. Daisy could hardly be a

substitute for either Janet or even Andrew.

He looked at his watch. It was one. He had spent close to three hours under the shade of

Grandpa Moses. He got up, carefully put the letter in his pocket and walked towards his

car...

* * *

Six months later Avanti was still in bed. Andrew was about to wake her up when he saw

the all too familiar brown envelope on the table beside the bed. Once again it was

addressed to Mister God. He picked up the envelope and walked into the living room.

He tore open the envelope, removed the letter inside it, and settling into a chair started

reading:


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Dear Mister God,

This is my second letter to you. I know you got the first one. I want to thank you.

Even though you didn't send Mama or take me to her, you did something which is

almost as good. You changed my Papa completely.

You know Mister God, I now sleep with him in his room, with his big and strong arms

around me. My Papa tells me stories - funny ones, scary ones and sometimes lovely

ones which are a little sad. In the morning we go together for swimming. He has

taught me how to swim. In the evening we go for Yoga. At night after dinner he

takes me out for a ride. He has even stopped drinking - you can check with Daisy

Aunty.

Dear Mister God, thank you so much. You could not give me back my Mama but you

have given me a brand new Papa.

Lots of love and kisses,

Avanti.

Andrew stopped reading. A few minutes later when Mrs. Daisy entered the living room

with the breakfast tray she found Andrew sitting in the armchair his eyes closed, a

crumpled envelope in his hand and tears streaming down his face.


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f

This is a tigers tail. Oops! Sorry. This is a tale of a tiger. His name was Arjun. He was a

mild mannered, easy going sort of bloke who liked nothing better than digging into

freshly hunted deer meat and lazing in the shade of a leafy tree. Even though he was a

tiger no one in the jungle feared him.

His wife, Agni, however was exactly the opposite. She was a real terror. Ferocious, gutsy

and quick, she did most of the hunting. She hated her husbands lazy attitude to life and

his lack of drive but she tolerated him for one reason. She was in love with him or rather

with his whiskers.

Arjun had a magnificent set of whiskers - long, straight and pointed. They made him

look very ferocious and brave. Years ago when she had first seen him, it had been a case

of love at first sight. She had fallen for his whiskers. And it was because of them that she

was still with him. Agni was also extremely possessive about Arjuns whiskers. She made

him take very good care of them.

One day Agni was out hunting. Arjun had been in the mood for antelope meat and she

had gone looking for one. Arjun as usual was dozing under the shade of a peepal tree.

All of a sudden a wasp sat on his nose and he took a swipe. The wasp flew away. A

whisker dislodged by his action was picked up by a gust of wind and went sailing. Arjun

By a Whisker

For kids aged 6-9 years


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leapt up. He had never shown this kind of alacrity except when, as a toddler, while

trying to climb a small rock he had landed on his fathers head and the old fellow,

enraged, had run after him.

Arjun followed the whisker like an agile cat running after a nimble mouse. It sailed away

and to his horror landed on Bhimas trunk. Bhima was an elephant known for his mean

temper. Arjun was terrified of him. He stopped in his tracks and kept staring at his

beautiful whisker that had now settled comfortably on the tip of the pachyderms trunk.

He had to get his whisker and somehow stick it back. Agni had this habit, whenever she

went out, to count his whiskers before she left on the expedition and after she returned

from it. And if she found even one short she would raise hell. Six moons ago once when

a whisker had got uprooted he had managed to stick it back using the glue extracted

from a neem tree. And it had stayed stuck. He had to do the same thing again or else he

could forget about tasting, let alone gorging, on the antelope meat. But the question was

how?

He heard a sound and looking up saw Langur the long tailed monkey hanging from his

tail and humming. He fancied himself to be a great singer and was always singing to

himself.

Hey, Langur!

Yes, he replied looking down at Arjun.

I need your help.

For what? Langur asked cautiously. He was a selfish fellow and wanted to know all the

details before committing himself.

My whisker has settled on the tip of Bhimas trunk.

So what should I do?

Can you get it back for me?

Why dont you get it yourself?


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I...I...I am actually scared of Bhima. Once I had bumped into him in the lake while he

was bathing and he had given me a whack I can never forget. My backside was sore for

days.

You are a real coward. What will I getin return?

Whatever you want.

Langur thought for a moment and then said, You see that coconut tree over there. I

have hurt my leg. I cant climb it. There is a bunch of four coconuts on top. I want you to

get them for me.

But how will I do that? I too cant climb up there.

Stupid. Who wants you to climb? All you have to do is to shake the tree with all your

might. If you shake it well I am sure the coconuts will fall down. Once I get the coconuts

you get your precious whisker.

Okay, let me try, Arjun said and walked up to the coconut tree. It was quite slender

and weak. Arjun gave it a hug and shook it with all his strength. After ten or fifteen

vigorous shakes the coconuts fell down one after the other. They landed straight on

Arjuns head -plonk, plunk, plunk, plonk. The impact was quite severe and Arjun

fainted. Not realising what had happened, Langur gathered the coconuts. Then hanging

by his tail he swung from one branch to the other and gently picked up the whisker

perched on Bhimas trunk without disturbing the elephants slumber. When he went up

to Arjun he found him lying with his eyes closed.

Hey, Arjun. Come on wake up. Here is your whisker, Langur said shaking him.

After a few minutes Arjun opened his eyes and looked around.

Who are you? he asked Langur.

What do you mean who I am? I am Langur and here is your whisker.

My whisker! What will a donkey do with a tigers whisker?

Donkey? Where is the donkey?Langur said looking around stupidly.


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I am a donkey, cant you see, you silly monkey.

My God, Arjun has gone mad. Those coconuts which landed on his nut have turned

him into a nut case, Langur mumbled to himself and ran back looking for Agni. The

tigress had just reached her cave with a freshly killed antelope and was admiring it.

Langur told her the whole story and handed her the whisker.

Where is that silly fool now?

Under the coconut tree.

Come, let us go. Once he sees me hell come to his senses. Most likely this is some kind

of drama he is indulging in to get a lions share or rather a tigers share of the antelope

meat. Greedy fellow!

In the meanwhile Arjun got up. He was feeling hungry and decided to look for some

tender grass which he could eat. As he moved along at a leisurely pace he saw a sight

which made him stop in his tracks. Grazing under the shade of a neem tree was the most

beautiful donkey he had ever seen! Arjun fell instantly in love with her. He forgot his

hunger and ran towards her.

Oh, beautiful one! What is your name? Will you be my wife?

The donkey whose name was Tara looked at Arjun, her eyes wide with fear.

Yyour wife? Bbut you are a tiger! she managed to stammer.

Who says? I am a donkey. Young and healthy - just like you. Dont fell shy, pretty one

and accept me as your husband, Arjun declared advancing towards her.

Tara, who was new to the jungle, turned back and ran for her life. She went straight to

her husband Dara who was resting in a mango grove after sampling two dozen delicious

mangoes and indulging in a dozen rounds of braying.

Dara, a tiger is after me. He says he wants to marry me.

Dara who was a sturdy and brave donkey sprang up.


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Where is that scoundrel? he shouted and ran in the direction in which h is wife had

come. After a minute or so he saw Arjun coming towards him.

Have you seen a beautiful donkey come this way? I am going to make her my wife,

Arjun declared.

Sure you can, but first you will have to take my blessings.

Oh! You must be her grandfather. Then bless me. O noble one! Arjun closed his eyes

and bowed his head.

Dara turned back and gave him a solid kick on his head. Arjun staggered and fell back.

Just then Agni and Langur reached the spot and found Arjun lying with his eyes closed

and a pair of donkeys standing by. Dara told Agni what had happened.

She went up to Arjun and shook him vigorously.

Wha....wh...where am I? Arjun got up stammering and looked around, the expression

on his face even more stupid than usual.

When did you come, Agni? What am I doing here and who are these twodonkeys?

Who are you? Langur asked him seriously.

Who am I? Dont you know me dear fellow, I am Arjun, a tiger and husband of this

beautiful, brave and talented tigress who is proud of my whiskers.... he stopped and

looked at Langur.

D...did you get the whisker? he whispered to him.

Yes, and I gave it to Agni.

G...gave it to Agni, Arjun gulped twice and looked at his wife. A...Agni I hope you are

not angry with me.

No, I am not. And from thismoment I am not going to bother you about your whiskers.

It is because of these whiskers that I almost lost you to a donkey.

Lost me to a donkey?


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Yes. By a whisker.

B...but I dont understand.

Well, its a long story Ill tell you some other time, she said, winking at Dara and Tara

who smiled and brayed together in agreement.

----x----

effective parenting first pillar

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