Family Life Ministry Q1 Focus: Effective ParentingJanuary - Parental Role Modeling

February - Confident Parenting (Seminar)March - PYF (Video ~ Parental Flaws)

April - Laws of Leadership (The Family Setting)

Q1 Prayer Focus: Isaiah 54:1313 And all thy children shall be taught of the LORD;

and great shall be the peace of thy children.

Invitation – Bill Maier (Focus on the Family / KSBJ) is coming to RCCG TKP! …PLEASE INVITE A FAMILY!!!

Parental Role Modeling

• Text - Genesis 18:19(KJV)• 19 For I know him, that he will command

his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.

Parental Role Modeling

• My first question to us is what is God saying about you as a parent?

• The Message Bible:– Yes, I’ve settled on him as the one to train his

children and future family to observe GOD’s way of life, live kindly and generously and fairly, so that GOD can complete in Abraham what he promised him.”

• Point of note: command = training (not dictatorship!)…there is a world of difference!

Samanja!

Parental Role Modeling

• Key Point: God emphatically stated that HE KNOWS Abraham…– i.e. He is Confident and Assured concerning

Abraham when it comes to providing necessary training (guidance, leadership, mentorship) concerning family matters…

• Note: The end of that verse point to that fact that there is a promised blessing at stake!

Parental Role Modeling

• However, a conjunction is used between the beginning phrase and the ending phrase on the fulfillment of God’s promise

• What is a conjunction?• What is the conjunction used?• Why did God use a conjunction in this

scripture?

• What is a conjunction?– They join words, phrases, or independent clauses

of a sentence together• What is the conjunction used?– “THAT” (“SO THAT” in The Message)

• Why did God use a conjunction in this scripture?– The fulfillment of God’s promises is dependent

on Abraham’s ability to “train” his children

Parental Role Modeling

• The point here is that there are many promises that God has in His word for us (or that He has spoken to us about individually) that may not come to pass, if we fail in our responsibilities as parents!

• Fulfillment of God’s promises are contingent or dependent on our effectiveness as a parent!

• Parenting is therefore one of the most important responsibility you will take on as an adult, the impact of which will affect multiple generations after you!

Parental Role Modeling

Parental Role Modeling

• Being a parent is one of the most important and enduring relationships which begin with the birth/adoption of a child…

• Friends, income, jobs, etc. may come and go, but your responsibility as a parent will last as long as you live!

• Your effectiveness (or otherwise as a parent) is much more far reaching than many think it is!

Parental Role Modeling• Parenting is a ministry and stewardship we

received from The Lord:• Psalm 127: 3-4 – 3 Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD,

The fruit of the womb is a reward.• Colossians 4:17 (AMP) – And say to Archippus, See that you discharge

carefully the duties of the ministry and fulfill the stewardship which you have received in the Lord

The Jacket Treatment!

Parental Role Modeling

• Going back to our text we want to focus on the key assignment (duty) that God said Abraham had to his children – TO TRAIN• Yes, I’ve settled on him as the one to train his children and

future family to observe GOD’s way of life, live kindly and generously and fairly, so that GOD can complete in Abraham what he promised him.”

• Question: – What does it mean to train?– Is training same as teaching?

• Teaching is about telling• Training is about showing how (leading by

example)– Training Center Experience…

• Someone said “what you do speaks so loud I cant hear what you are saying?”

• A key aspect of training therefore is role modeling…

Parental Role Modeling

Parental Role Modeling

• A role model generally means a person who serves as an example, whose behavior and or character is emulated

• A role model serves as an example of the values, attitudes, and behaviors associated with a role

Parental Role Modeling• Imitation is a primary means of learning– We look around (consciously or unconsciously) for

someone who is doing what want, desire, or aspire to do in a manner we admire and tend to imitate or emulate them

• Role modeling is constantly going on in all parent-to-child relationships!– The problem is that in most cases parents are not

aware of what is transpiring!

Parental Role Modeling• Our children watch how we:–Relate with our spouse–Handle our tongue–Manage our finances–Relate with others–Manage our time, etc.

• You are either a positive or negative role model to your children

Parental Role Modeling

• There is hardly any role in life more important to us as parents than making the most of the opportunity we have to build an adult out of a child

• We do not have the luxury to do it over• Our primary means/tool for fulfilling this

role successfully is by being a positive role model!

Parental Role Modeling

• Question: • What are the keys to being an

effective/positive parental role model?

Parental Role Modeling

• 1: Develop a healthy/close relationship with your children– In an healthy relationship, children willingly

accepts the parent’s influence and responds positively

– If your child is obedient to you out of fear, when you are not there they will do otherwise!

– Your child’s obedience should flow out of love, respect and admiration for you as a result of the way to relate with them

Parental Role Modeling• 2: Learn to connect with your children• To Connect = Build Rapport!• The ability to connect begins with the understanding of

the value of your child!– "Connecting is the ability to identify with people and relate to

them in a way that increases your influence with them.” – John Maxwell

• Your primary goal as a parent is to influence your child to do the right things, whether you are present or absent!

• People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care!

Parental Role Modeling

• 3: Provide an atmosphere of trust & respect–Respect for each other at home is very

apparent to our children• That becomes the standard with which they

behave/act/react given similar situations–Respect your child’s opinion• Maintain an open line of communication• Provide individualized attention!

Parental Role Modeling• 4. Communicate Effectively• Communication is 20% verbal & 80% non-verbal– Be a good listener– Use words of encouragement & appreciation• Whatever we appreciate increases in value, whatever

we do not appreciate decreases in value– Correct/criticize constructively• Criticism kills enthusiasm• Never humiliate your child

– Admit when you are wrong– Seek to understand your child’s point of view!

• Seek to understand first before being understood!

Parental Role Modeling• 5: Live a life that shows your devotion to God – Not one that talks about it, but one that shows it!

• Joshua 24:15• But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to

you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.

Parental Role ModelingSummary: • Fulfillment of God’s promises in our family is contingent or

dependent on our effectiveness as a parent in training our children!

• Our children are constantly learning their most important life lessons from us on a daily basis simply by looking at us (by observation)…we are their role model! – They may not say anything, but they are watching us– They see through the “smoke screen”– You can deceive the public, but not your children– We can live one way in public and outsiders will fail to know our real

character…but in private we can’t fake it!

Closing• Q&A• Prayer Points:1. God grant us the wisdom be effective role model for

our children2. May our actions as parents not derails God’s purpose

and promises in our family3. Isaiah 54:13

a) And all thy (my) children shall be taught of the Lord; and b) great shall be the peace of thy (my) children.