PBI Online Course # 9505

Verbal and Non-Verbal Communications

© 2016 Pennsylvania Bar Institute. All rights reserved.

iii

Foreword

Learn about the types of verbal leaks. Discover the non-verbal signs and signals we send when communicating and how to analyze the effect verbal and non-verbal communications can have on your negotiations.

We are especially grateful to our instructor, Prof. Charles B. Craver of The George Washington School National Law Center in Washington, DC, for the significant time and effort he devoted to developing the course and preparing written materials.

Pennsylvania Bar Institute Gail P. Granoff, President Erin Tate, Program Attorney

September 2016

iv

v

Biography

INSTRUCTOR

Prof. Charles B. Craver

Professor Craver is the Freda H. Alverson Professor of Law at the George Washington University Law School, where he regularly teaches a course on Legal Negotiating. He was formerly associated with Morrison & Foerster in San Francisco, where he specialized in employment and litigation practice. Professor Craver is a member of the American Law Institute, the Criminal Law, Labor and Employment Law, and Alternative Dispute Resolution Sections of the American Bar Association, the International Society for Labor and Social Security Law, the American Arbitration Association, the Association for Conflict Resolution, and the National Academy of Arbitrators. He is also affiliated with the Lawyers Mediation Service. Professor Craver is author of Effective Legal Negotiation and Settlement (LEXIS: 8th ed. 2016), The Art of Negotiation in the Business World (LEXIS 2014), Skills and Values: Legal Negotiating (LEXIS 3rd ed. 2016), and The Intelligent Negotiator (Prima/Crown nd 2002), and co-author of Legal Negotiating (West 2007), Skills & Values: Alternative Dispute Resolution (LEXIS 2013), and Alternative Dispute Resolution: The Advocates Perspective (LEXIS: 5th ed. 2016). He is also author of Can Unions Survive? The Rejuvenation of the American Labor Movement (N.Y.U. Press: 1993) and co-author of Employment Law Treatise (2 Vols.) (West: 5th ed. 2014), Employment Law Hornbook (West: 5th ed. 2015), Human Resources and the Law (B.N.A. 1994), Labor Relations Law (LEXIS: 13th ed. 2016), Employment Discrimination Law (LEXIS: 8th ed. 2016), Collective Bargaining and Labor Arbitration (Michie: 3rd ed. 1988), and Labor Relations Law in the Public Sector (Michie: 4 ed. 1991). Professor Craver has published numerous law review articles on dispute resolution and labor/employment law. Professor Craver received his B.S. from Cornell University in 1967, his Master's Degree from the Cornell University School of Industrial and Labor Relations in 1968, and his J.D. from the University of Michigan in 1971. Before joining the George Washington University Law Faculty, he taught at the Universities of Illinois, California, Davis, Virginia, and Florida. He has received Outstanding Teacher Awards at three different law schools.

vi

vii

Table of Contents

Verbal & Nonverbal Communication ..................................................................................... 1 Prof. Charles B. Craver

I. Negotiations Involve Interpersonal Communications ................................................. 1

II. Verbal Communication ................................................................................................ 1 A. Disclosing Priorities ............................................................................................. 2 B. Validity of Asserted “Bottom Lines” .................................................................... 2

III. Importance of Nonverbal Signals ................................................................................ 2 A. Facial Expressions ............................................................................................... 3 B. Scratching Head/Brushing Cheek with Fingers .................................................. 3 C. Involuntary Raising of One Eyebrow ................................................................... 3 D Wringing or Twisting of Hands/Gripping Arm Rests ......................................... 4 E. Drumming on Table ............................................................................................. 4 F. Biting Lower Lip/Running Fingers through Hair ............................................... 4 G. Eyes Wandering/Looking at Watch/Head in Hands ............................................ 5 H. Shifting in Chair/Opening Mouth without Speaking ........................................... 5 I. Sitting on Edge of Chair ........................................................................................ 5 J. Playing with Glasses/Looking at Notes ............................................................... 6 K. Leaning Back with Hands behind Head .............................................................. 6 L. Steepling – Arms Out and Fingers/Hands Together ........................................... 6 M. Hands Extended with Fingers Facing Upward ..................................................... 7 N. Rubbing Hands Together in Anticipatory Manner ............................................... 7 O. Casual Touching .................................................................................................... 7 P. Open or Uplifted Hands ....................................................................................... 8 Q. Crossed Arms/Crossed Legs ................................................................................ 8 R. Direct Eye Contact ............................................................................................... 8 S. Covering and Rubbing of One Eye ....................................................................... 9 T. Head Nodding ...................................................................................................... 9

IV. Nonverbal Signs of Deception ..................................................................................... 9 A. Signal Words ....................................................................................................... 10 B. Increase or Decrease in Specificity of Statements .............................................. 10 C. Increase or Decrease in Gross Body Movement ................................................. 10 D. Casual Placing of Hand Over Mouth .................................................................. 11 E. Inconsistent Nodding or Shaking of Head ......................................................... 11 F. Dilated Eye Pupils or Increased Blinking ........................................................... 11 G. Elevated Voice Pitch ........................................................................................... 12 H. Speaking More Quickly or Slowly ....................................................................... 12 I. Frequent Throat Clearing or Increased Speech Errors ...................................... 12

viii

J. More or Less Eye Contact ................................................................................... 13 K. Looking Up to Left or Right When Thinking ...................................................... 13 L. Ask Spouse or Significant Other If He/She Loves You ....................................... 13

V. Telephone Negotiations ............................................................................................. 14

VI. Electronic Negotiations .............................................................................................. 14

VII. When Negotiate Listen and Watch Carefully ............................................................. 14

VERBAL & NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION

Charles Craver

Freda Alverson Professor of Law

George Washington University

Author, Effective Legal Negotiation and Settlement (8th ed. 2016 LEXIS); Skills & Values: Legal Negotiating (3rd ed. 2016 LEXIS);  The Art of Negotiation in the Business World (2014 LEXIS); The Intelligent Negotiator (2002 

Prima/Crown); coauthor, Legal Negotiating (2007 Thomson/West); Alternative Dispute Resolution: The Advocate’s Perspective (5th ed. 2016 LEXIS); Skills & Values: Alternative Dispute Resolution (2013 LEXIS)

Copyright by Charles B. Craver

NEGOTIATIONS INVOLVE INTER‐PERSONAL COMMUNICATIONS

•OVERT VERBAL STATEMENTS WHERE MEANING CLEAR ON FACE

•SUBTLE VERBAL LEAKS

•VARIOUS NONVERBAL SIGNALS

•SUBTLE NONVERBAL SIGNS OF DECEPTION

VERBAL COMMUNICATION

•MEANING CLEAR:“I CANNOT GO HIGHER”• DO YOU BELIEVE WHAT WAS SAID?

•MEANING EQUIVOCAL:• “I AM NOT INCLINED TO GO HIGHER”

• “I DO NOT WANT TO GO HIGHER”• “I CANNOT GO HIGHER AT THIS TIME”

• VERBAL LEAKS IN THESE STATEMENTS INDICATE SPEAKER WILL GO HIGHER

1

DISCLOSING PRIORITIES

• “I HAVE TO HAVE ITEM 1”

• “I REALLY WANT ITEM 2”

• “I WOULD LIKE TO GET ITEM 3”• ITEM 1 IS ESSENTIAL• ITEM 2 IS IMPORTANT• ITEM 3 IS DESIRABLE

VALIDITY OF ASSERTED “BOTTOM LINES”

• “THAT’S AS FAR AS I CAN GO”• APPARENTLY AT REAL BOTTOM LINE

• DO YOU BELIEVE PERSON’S ASSERTION

• “THAT’S ABOUT AS FAR AS I CAN GO”

• “I DON’T HAVE MUCH MORE ROOM”

• NOT YET AT TRUE BOTTOM LINE

• PERSON HAS MORE ROOM

IMPORTANCE OF NONVERBAL SIGNALS

•MUCH OF COMMUNICATION DURING NEGOTIATIONS IS NONVERBAL

•NO ONE SIGNAL DEFINITIVE• LOOK FOR PATTERNS OF BEHAVIOR• LOOK FOR CHANGES IN BEHAVIOR•ESTABLISH BASELINE AT NEGOT. OUTSET 

•DON’T IGNORE FEELINGS – OFTEN BASED ON SUBCONSCIOUS READING OF OPPONENT’S NONVERBAL SIGNALS

2

FACIAL EXPRESSIONS

•SMILE INDICATES PLEASURE

•RELAXED FACE INDICATES RELIEF•FROWN INDICATES DISAPPOINTMENT

•TIGHTNESS INDICATES ANGER•FLINCH INDICATES SURPRISE OR DISAPPOINTMENT

SCRATCHING HEAD/BRUSHING CHEEK WITH FINGERS

•INDICATES PUZZLEMENT WITH WHAT IS GOING ON

•MAY ALSO INDICATE DIFFICULTY UNDERSTANDING WHAT IS BEING COMMUNICATED

INVOLUNTARY RAISING OF ONE EYEBROW

•INDICATES SKEPTICISM WITH WHAT HAS BEEN SAID

•IF SPEAKER IS BEING ENTIRELY OPEN, MUST REALIZE THAT OTHER PARTY SUSPICIOUS OF WHAT WAS SAID

3

WRINGING OR TWISTING OF HANDS/GRIPPING ARM RESTS

•CLASSIC SIGNS OF FRUSTRATION

•THE MORE TIGHTLY FINGERS ARE INTERLOCKED, THE MORE FRUSTRATED PERSON IS

•WHITE KNUCKLE SYNDROME ON ARM RESTS

DRUMMING ON TABLE

•CLASSIC SIGN OF IMPATIENCE•DISCUSSION NOT MOVING FAST ENOUGH

•MAY ALSO BE SIGN OF FRUSTRATION•ACTOR DISPLEASED WITH BARGAINING DEVELOPMENTS

BITING LOWER LIP/RUNNING FINGERS THROUGH HAIR

•SIGNS OF STRESS OR FRUSTRATION

•PERSON RUNNING FINGERS THROUGH HAIR USUALLY VERY ANNOYED

4

EYES WANDERING/LOOKING AT WATCH/HEAD IN HANDS

•SIGNS OF BOREDOM OR DISINTEREST•ACTOR NOT VERY INTERESTED IN CURRENT DEVELOPMENTS

•MAY WISH TO ASK ACTOR QUESTIONS TO GET PERSON INVOLVED IN DISCUSSIONS

SHIFTING IN CHAIR/OPENING MOUTH WITHOUT SPEAKING

•CLEAR SIGNS OF INDECISION

•ACTOR UNSURE HOW TO PROCEED OR WHAT TO SAY

•BE PATIENT AND WAIT FOR ACTOR TO DECIDE WHAT TO DO OR SAY

SITTING ON EDGE OF CHAIR

•ACTOR MAY LEAN SO FAR FORWARD ELBOWS ARE ON EDGE OF TABLE

•CLASSIC SIGN OF INTEREST IN NEGOTIATION DEVELOPMENTS

5

PLAYING WITH GLASSES/ LOOKING AT NOTES

•USED TO COVER SILENT MEDITATION WHILE ACTOR CONSIDERS NEXT MOVE

•PERSON NOT SURE WHAT TO DO NEXT

•GIVE ACTOR TIME TO DECIDE WHAT HE/SHE SHOULD DO

LEANING BACK WITH HANDS  BEHIND HEAD

• INDICATION OF REAL CONFIDENCE

•ACTOR PLEASED WITH NEGOTIATION DEVELOPMENTS

•WHEN USED BY MALE INTERACTING WITH FEMALE, SIGN OF DOMINATION

STEEPLING – ARMS OUT AND FINGERS/HANDS TOGETHER

•ANOTHER SIGN OF REAL CONFIDENCE

•ACTOR PLEASED WITH NEGOTIATION DEVELOPMENTS

6

HANDS EXTENDED WITH FINGERS FACING UPWARD

•OFTEN POSTURE OF PERSON BEING VERBALLY ASSAULTED

•USED TO SYMBOLICALLY PROTECT ACTOR AGAINST ORAL ONSLAUGHT

•WOULD SUGGEST ACTOR DISPLEASED WITH OTHER PARTY’S CONDUCT

RUBBING HANDS TOGETHER IN ANTICIPATORY MANNER

•OFTEN EXHIBITED BY ANXIOUS PARTY ANTICIPATING BENEFICIAL RESPONSE FROM OTHER SIDE

•INDICATES OVER‐EAGERNESS WITH BARGAINING DEVELOPMENTS

CASUAL TOUCHING

•WARM HANDSHAKE OR PLACING OF HAND ON ARM OR SHOULDER OF OTHER PERSON

•MAY INDICATE SINCERITY OR EFFORT TO ESTABLISH RAPPORT

•RISK OF NEGATIVE REACTION FROM PERSON WHO FEELS PATRONIZED

7

OPEN OR UPLIFTED HANDS 

•SIGN OF SINCERITY AND HONESTY

•OFTEN EXHIBITED WHEN FINAL OFFERS ARE BEING TENDERED

• INDICATION THAT PERSON HAS NOTHING TO HIDE

CROSSED ARMS/CROSSED LEGS

• IF ARMS HIGH ON CHEST AND ANKLE ON KNEE, A COMBATIVE POSTURE

• IF ARMS LOW ON CHEST AND ONE LEG DRAPED OVER OTHER LEG, A MORE DEFENSIVE POSTURE

• IN BOTH CASES, AN UNRECEPTIVE POSTURE – SIGN OF IMPASSE

DIRECT EYE CONTACT

•WARM EYE CONTACT MAY BE USED TO ESTABLISH RAPPORT 

•INTENSE STARING MAY BE AN AGGRESSIVE OR INTIMIDATING ACT

8

COVERING AND RUBBING OF ONE EYE

•NONVERBAL EQUIVALENT OF “MY EYE”

•CLASSIC SIGN OF UNRECEPTIVENESS TO WHAT HAS BEEN COMMUNICATED

•YOU MAY HAVE TO RESTATE MATTER IN MORE CREDIBLE FASHION

HEAD NODDING 

•OFTEN SIGN ACTOR UNDERSTANDS WHAT IS BEING COMMUNICATED•MAY BE MISINTERPRETED AS SIGN OF AGREEMENT WHEN NOT MEANT TO BE

•IN APPROPRIATE CIRCUMSTANCES, IT MAY BE A SIGN OF AGREEMENT

NONVERBAL SIGNS OF DECEPTIONPAUL EKMAN, TELLING LIES

•NO ONE SIGN IS CONCLUSIVE•ESTABLISH BENCHMARK RE COUNTERPART’S BEHAVIOR TO APPRECIATE HOW THEY USUALLY ACT

• LOOK FOR PATTERNS OF BEHAVIOR AND CHANGES IN BASELINE BEHAVIOR• INDICATIONS OF STRESS ASSOCIATED WITH DECEPTION

•BEHAVIOR DESIGNED TO ENHANCE CREDIBILITY OF FALSEHOOD

9

SIGNAL WORDS

• “TO BE CANDID”; “TO BE TRUTHFUL”

• IF PHRASE USED DURING PRIOR DISCUSSIONS, FIGURE OF SPEECH

• IF NOT USED PREVIOUSLY, MAY BE A SIGN SPEAKER PREPARING TO LIE AND WANTS TO BE SURE YOU LISTEN

INCREASE OR DECREASE IN SPECIFICITY OF STATEMENTS

•SOME FABRICATORS PROVIDE EXTRA INFORMATION TO MAKE LIE CREDIBLE

•OTHER FABRICATORS PROVIDE LESS INFORMATION SINCE ENTIRELY FALSE•ASK QUESTIONS DESIGNED TO FORCE PERSON TO PROVIDE SPECIFIC DETAILS

INCREASE OR DECREASE IN GROSS BODY MOVEMENT

•PERSONS FEELING STRESS TEND TO HAVE MORE GROSS BODY MOVEMENT

•PERSONS TRYING TO LOOK MORE CREDIBLE MAY DECREASE THEIR GROSS BODY MOVEMENT

10

CASUAL PLACING OF HAND OVER MOUTH

•SUBCONSCIOUS EFFORT BY LIARS TO HOLD IN LIE THEY KNOW IS WRONG

•EXHIBITED BY PRESIDENT NIXON ON NATIONAL TELEVISION WHEN DENYING SOMETHING HE HAD DONE DURING WATERGATE COVERUP

INCONSISTENT NODDING OR SHAKING OF HEAD

•PERSON SHAKES HEAD NEGATIVELY WHEN SAYING SOMETHING POSITIVE

•PERSON NODS HEAD POSITIVELY WHEN SAYING SOMETHING NEGATIVE

DILATED EYE PUPILS OR INCREASED BLINKING

•HARD TO SEE PUPILS WITH OUR 18‐24 INCH SPATIAL DISTANCE

• INCREASED BLINKING EASY TO SEE

•BOTH SIGNS OF INCREASED STRESS THAT MAY BE ASSOCIATED WITH WRONGFUL DECEPTION

11

ELEVATED VOICE PITCH

•SIGN OF STRESS, FEAR, OR ANXIETY

•MAY BE EXHIBITED BY PERSONS UNCOMFORTABLE WITH FALSEHOODS THEY ARE ABOUT TO UTTER

SPEAKING MORE QUICKLY OR MORE SLOWLY

•FASTER SPEECH SIGN OF STRESS

•SLOWER SPEECH USED TO BE SURE SPEAKER’S FALSEHOOD IS HEARD•PRESIDENT CLINTON: “I DID NOT HAVE SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH THAT WOMAN”

FREQUENT THROAT CLEARING OR INCREASED SPEECH ERRORS

•THROAT CLEARING SIGN OF STRESS

•STAMMERING OR FAILURE TO FINISH SENTENCE SIGN SPEAKER HAVING DIFFICULTY COMPLETING FALSEHOOD

12

MORE OR LESS EYE CONTACT

• LIARS OFTEN MAKE EFFORT TO LOOK LISTENERS IN THE EYES TO LOOK MORE CREDIBLE

•PERSONS WHO FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE LYING MAY BE UNABLE TO MAKE GOOD EYE CONTACT

LOOKING UP TO LEFT OR RIGHT WHEN THINKING

•RIGHT HANDED PERSONS LOOK UP TO LEFT WHEN PICTURING SOMETHING REAL, BUT UP TO RIGHT WHEN IMAGINING SOMETHING NOT REAL

• LEFT HANDED PERSONS LOOK UP TO RIGHT WHEN PICTURING SOMETHING REAL, BUT UP TO LEFT WHEN IMAGINING SOMETHING NOT REAL

ASK SPOUSE OR SIGNIFICANT OTHER IF HE/SHE LOVES YOU

IF THEY SAY “TO BE CANDID”, SPEAK MORE DELIBERATELY, REDUCE OR INCREASE THEIR GROSS BODY MOVEMENT, PUT THEIR HAND OVER THEIR MOUTH, SHAKE THEIR HEAD NEGATIVELY, BLINK MORE OFTEN, AND TRAIL OFF WITHOUT FINISHING THE ANSWER, YOU ARE IN TROUBLE!

13

TELEPHONE NEGOTIATIONS

•CONTAIN MANY NONVERBAL SIGNALS BASED ON PITCH, PACE, TONE, VOLUME, PAUSES, AND INFLECTIONS

•BE THOROUGHLY PREPARED AND DON’T WING IT ON PHONE

•AVOID DISTRACTIONS ASSOCIATED WITH CELL PHONE DISCUSSIONS

ELECTRONIC NEGOTIATIONS

• IMPORTANT TO AVOID UNINTENDED VERBAL LEAKS IN E‐MAIL FILES

•RECIPIENTS CAN MINE METADATA TO ASCERTAIN ALL CHANGES MADE IN FILES

•ELIMINATE METADATA IN FILES SENT•USE SCRUBBING SOFTWARE [NOW IN WORD]•SEND PDF FILE• INSERT OLD FILE INTO NEW FILE

WHEN YOU NEGOTIATE LISTEN AND WATCH CAREFULLY

•BE SURE YOU HEAR WHAT IS ACTUALLY BEING COMMUNICATED

•LISTEN FOR CRITICAL VERBAL LEAKS

•WATCH FOR NONVERBAL SIGNALS AND NONVERBAL SIGNS OF DECEPTION

14