how to deal with difficult people at work
TRANSCRIPT
CONCRETE STEPS YOU CAN TAKE TODAY TO HANDLE ANY SITUATION
How To Deal With Difficult
People at Work
L I N K E D I N . C O M / I N / T H E R E S A - H O R E Z G AB Y T H E R E S A H O R E Z G A
Interacting with a challenging coworker can be stressful and overwhelming. That stress can also impact every other part of your life.
Take a deep breath.
There are many skillful ways to reduce friction, create understanding and establish yourself as a respected leader in the process.
BREATHE
For even a moment..
Try to set your differences aside.
Understand that this person is likely doing their very best.
Perhaps they're used to doing things differently than you do.
L I N K E D I N . C O M / I N / T H E R E S A - H O R E Z G A
The way they're acting is likely a learned behavior. Chances
are, they're doing things in a way that has brought them
success, acceptance or love in the past.
L I N K E D I N . C O M / I N / T H E R E S A - H O R E Z G A
ACCEPTT H E M F O R W H O
T H E Y A R E
THIS PERSON PROBABLY HAS A SOFT SPOT FOR PUPPIES, SAND BETWEEN THEIR TOES AND CARES DEEPLY FOR
THEIR PARENTS, CHILDREN OR CLOSEST FRIENDS.
Regardless of their rough
exterior,
L I N K E D I N . C O M / I N / T H E R E S A - H O R E Z G A
Use these reminders to soften your perception of them and to act from a place of love.
The only person you can change in this situation is you. When you relate to the situation differently, you create an opportunity for a more positive relationship to form.
LOVE
BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR PERSPECTIVES, AND THEM AND THEIR PERSPECTIVES. . .
WHERE CAN YOU F IND A POINT OF SHARED CONNECTION?
Now..
L I N K E D I N . C O M / I N / T H E R E S A - H O R E Z G A
YOU
THEM WORK
CONNECT
. .AS LONG AS IT 'S AUTHENTIC AND PROFESSIONALLY APPROPRIATE.
PERHAPS YOU BOTH HAVE A COMMITMENT TO HIGH QUALITY WORK
. .OR YOU BOTH FEEL PASSIONATE ABOUT LATTES
It can be anything..
L I N K E D I N . C O M / I N / T H E R E S A - H O R E Z G A
YOU
THEM WORK
CONNECT
Acknowledging a shared
connection, even on an
energetic level can start to
positively shift the dynamic.
L I N K E D I N . C O M / I N / T H E R E S A - H O R E Z G A
CREATE T INY OPPORTUNITIES FOR CONNECTION. A GENUINE SMILE, A
L ITTLE LAUGH, OR A TONE OF ENERGETIC UNDERSTANDING CAN GO
A LONG WAY.
Take baby steps to test the
waters and establish trust.
L I N K E D I N . C O M / I N / T H E R E S A - H O R E Z G A
Your needs are important too.
If something inappropriate happens, wait until the emotions simmer down and then calmly acknowledge the situation.
Try to maintain a curious, respectful tone, and ask the other person for their perspective. "What happened back there?"
SET BOUNDARIES
Once you truly understand their perspective,
authentically acknowledge their viewpoints.
L I N K E D I N . C O M / I N / T H E R E S A - H O R E Z G A
Ask if you can share your perspective too.
L I N K E D I N . C O M / I N / T H E R E S A - H O R E Z G A
Share your experience, and let them know
about any behaviors that felt inappropriate to
you.
L I N K E D I N . C O M / I N / T H E R E S A - H O R E Z G A
Let them know that you'd like to connect with
them in the most productive and useful ways.
L I N K E D I N . C O M / I N / T H E R E S A - H O R E Z G A
Suggest or ask for some potential ways you
can communicate a bit better so you can both
interact more respectfully next time.
L I N K E D I N . C O M / I N / T H E R E S A - H O R E Z G A
DO ask for help if you need it.
If the situation feels too intense to handle on your own, plan this type of conversation in advance with thehelp of a trained coach, therapist or other professional.
You might also choose to have other supportive, solution-oriented members of your company present for added safety.
RINSE AND REPEAT
Continue practicing these concepts over time.
Practice them with respect, sensitivity and an openness to
positive outcomes for best results.
L I N K E D I N . C O M / I N / T H E R E S A - H O R E Z G A
REMEMBER..While there are many powerful tools you can use to shift a
challenging relationship into a wonderfully connected one...
Sometimes the best solution is to switch departments, switch
teams, or leave.
L I N K E D I N . C O M / I N / T H E R E S A - H O R E Z G A
HOWEVER..Keep in mind that our outer world often reflects our inner
world... including the small wounded parts of ourselves that
we'd rather not see.
Do the transformative inner work now, within your current
situation to make sure these types of challenges don't crop up
at your next job.
L I N K E D I N . C O M / I N / T H E R E S A - H O R E Z G A
As a world-class iPEC Certified Professional Coach and Communication Expert, I can help you do that inner work, and plan productive conversations to create cohesiveness at work and beyond.
Hire me for private coaching, in- office conflict resolution or for corporate speaking engagements (worldwide).
For more information and to reserve your ideal time and date, email [email protected]
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