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Welcome to

How to Deal with

cu e av ours

Trainer: Sue Hemphill

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One word or image I associate with Conflict

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Objectives

Participants will have the opportunity to:

Reflect on your personal case studies and

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behaviours and conflict situations at work.

Learn and practice a skill for responding todifficult behaviours

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Guidelines

Safe Place = Respect + Confidentiality

Risk sharing your stories and trying new things

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Leave enriched by the learning and with theconfidence that you are the only one leaving theroom with your stories

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Case Study

Identify a recent difficult interaction /conversation with someone you have an

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a work colleague, supervisor, direct report /staff, residents family member.

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Case Study Reflection #1(pairs or triads)

Share a snap shot of the context,surrounding your difficult conversation.

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experienced as difficult? Be specific; e.g.raised voice, rolled eyes, they said

You will be given 2 - 3 minutes each

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What impact did the conversationhave on you at the moment, that

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, .

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Case Study Reflection #2

Imagine that the other person is sitting inyour place. How would they answer thefollowing question?

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What did you do during the conversation thatthey experienced as difficult or not helpful?

Take 1 minutes each

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Who started this situation?

Who has more organizational power?

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For those of you with less organizationalpower, does power affect the impact of what

happened?

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Definitions of Conflict

Conflict is difference + tension (the rub)

A conflict represents, first and foremost, a crisis inhuman interaction. The occurrence of conflict tends

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and the other, so that each party feels both morevulnerable and more self-absorbed than they didbefore the conflict.

Conflict has common and predictable patterns.

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BeliefsAbout

Conflict

The Conflict Cycle

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Occurs

Response

onsequence

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BeliefsAbout

Conflict

The Conflict Cycle

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Occurs

Response

onsequence

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Case Study Reflection #3

What is your typical or pattern of response todifficult behaviour?

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Can you generate other options for

responding?

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Debrief

With a self perpetuating cycle, where andhow do you introduce change?

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Real freedom is the ability topause between a stimulusand a res onse and in

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that pause choose.- Rollo Mae

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Resolution Skills CentresBeliefs About Conflict

Conflict is okay

People have choices in their response to conflict People can solve their own conflicts I only have part of the story. I have part of the

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. We all contribute to our conflicts consciously or

unconsciously There can be win/win resolutions

Reconciliation is possible in a wide range ofsituations

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Private

Intent

Public

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Effect

Words ____%Tone ____%Body Language ____%

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View Video

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Private

Intent

Public

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Action

Effect

Assume

WordsToneBody Language

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We judge ourselves by ourintentions.

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Others judge us by our impact/effect.

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PERSPECTIVES

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Dealing with Accusations

Their Blame

Our

Defense and Counter-

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Accusation

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Responding to Accusation

Their Blame

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Listen, acknowledgeeffect and seek to

understand theirconcern

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Responding to Accusation

Their Blame

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Identify there is aproblem or an issue

Paraphrase to defuse,

validate and clarify

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Paraphrasing:

is a minimal encourager

3 9 words

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ee ngs

First

Facts

Follow

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Paraphrasing

Is easier to do when we are dealing with someone

who is upset at someone else other than us.

Is most difficult to do and can feel counter- intuitive

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(until the habit or pattern is set) when the personwith the difficult behaviour is upset with is YOU!

We have to resist the animal self-protection instinctto fight or flight and engage more deeply.

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Empathy is KEY!

The ability to share in another emotions,thoughts and feelings.

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How hard is it to have empathy withsomeone when they are upset with us ormaking things difficult for us?

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Basic or FundamentalHuman Needs

There are varying theories and words to

describe and categorize human needs (mostsimplify to 4 or 5)

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Security or safety

Belonging and acceptance

Fun, self expression and discovery

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Resolution Skills Centre

A division of Mediation Services

Resolution Skills Training and Certificate

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rogram

www.resolutionskills.ca

204-925-3410