handling difficult people
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What a day, over 1,000 people through the door.www.beinspired09.co.ukTRANSCRIPT
Handling Difficult People
Handling Difficult People
Unlimited Thinking Ltd
Training
3 Directors: Cable & Wireless, Compaq,
Motorola BBC, Sony
Camera crew six actors
9 Associates
Handling Difficult People
Employees
Customers
Handling Difficult People
OBJECTIVES
BFO / “I know!” Open mind / travelator Seize the opportunity Develop your technique (with your own style) ease it into your daily work (all change is gradual, and inclusive*)
Handling Difficult People
OBJECTIVES
Anticipate the issues
Nip them in the bud!
Handling Difficult People
Conflict at work is not healthy
“90% of conflict is absolutely avoidable” (CIPD)
Handling Difficult People ‘Line managers can be the solution as well as
the cause of conflict.’
The way Employment legislation has moved since 2003, the CIPD survey “Managing Conflict at Work” shows that there are more procedures but no reduction in Tribunal applications. More employers are likely to take legal advice since the introduction of these procedures.
So how can we prevent this?
Handling Difficult People
Ourselves Amazing things –
Rational, even-tempered, charming, smiling, energised ….
Handling Difficult People
…. you may say:
“I don’t have any problems and I
know what I’m doing!”
Handling Difficult People
It may happen tomorrow ..are you prepared?
Handling Difficult People
Words SoundVisuals
Handling Difficult People
By labelling everyone the
same, we make dealing with the problem easier – provided we’re not interested in solving it.
Dietrich Doerner
Handling Difficult People
55% behaviours are visual
38% sound of the conversation
7% meaning and effect of words
(Brinkman/ Kershner)
Handling Difficult People
Real Play
Rumours of Angels ?
Handling Difficult People
55% - Behaviour =
what we see
Handling Difficult People
55% = Non verbal behaviours
What are they?
- Posture, facials, rhythm, gesture
Handling Difficult People
38% - sound
= tone and tempo
Handling Difficult People
7% = Words
Valued
Understood
Handling Difficult People
Handling Difficult People
Pacing (non-verbal)
Comfortable, relaxed
Active listening, hands, posture
Handling Difficult People
Pacing
Meeting someone where they are.
They need to feel understood first.
Handling Difficult People
Confirm your understanding Clarify and backtrack (not paraphrase)
Use their words/ confirm you’ve listened
- (the shortest way to common ground) Don’t add variables THEN paraphrase
Handling Difficult People
Pacing : Tone: Rhythm
– find common ground*
Seek stepped agreement
Handling Difficult People
Role Play – Session 2
Tools……….
Handling Difficult People Intent state your intent before you state your content
Criteria - options
Content - (fact based reasoning)
Process Backtrack, clarify ..until you understand each other
Handling Difficult People
Consider the INTENT(what is really meant?)
Cards – do you have the full deck?
- Ask for another card
Handling Difficult People
Positive specific direction Prepare to reduce conflict
Build co-operation and trust
Handling Difficult People
Role Play – Session 3
Toolkit …..
Handling Difficult People
Pacing
Meeting someone where they are.
They need to feel understood first.
Handling Difficult People
Set the bar
Handling Difficult People
so, what will I do
differently?
Handling Difficult People
Anticipate
Pace
Offer- your values and discretion
Set the bar, use your anchors
Time - make quality time
Listen, repeat their words
Energise, endorse and review
Handling Difficult People
Management is doing things right
Leadership is doing right things
Peter Drucker
