Habit 5: Seek First to

Understand, then to be understood

By: Natdhanai, Reuben, Sorrawee, Kita, Worawat

Overview

Most people will want to be understood first and then

understand others later.

Seeing things from other’s point of view can have a

dramatic effect.

Most people will tend to want to be understood first.

The Meaning

You need to understand other first before you start

wanting other to understand you.

Listen first, talk second.

Understand other will have a big effect on how you judge the person.

Five Poor Listening Style

Spacing out: Ignore the one talking to us.

Pretend to listen: Pretend to listen to the one speaking,

but actually not listening.

Selective listening: Only listen to some part of the

conversation.

Word listening: Not reading between the line.

Self-centered listening: Everything is in our point of view.

Genuine Listening

Genuine listening is when you actually try to listen to

what the person is saying and take it to heart.

o Listen with your eyes, heart, and ears.

o Stand in their shoes.

o Practice mirroring.

Genuine Listening Benefits

It open up the other person’s heart.

Improve relationships with people.

Able to solve problem easily through communication.

Lesser the stress pent up inside by sharing.

Listen with Your Eyes, Heart, and Ears

Do not listen with just your ears. It only contain 7% of the

whole thing.

53% came from body language and 40% came from

tone/feelling.

Try to understand their way of expressing it rather than just merely hearing.

Stand in Their Shoes

You must put yourself in their show in order to fully

understand their situation.

Trying to win a conversation will just end up in a Win-Lose or Lose-Lose conclusion.

Practice Mirroring

Think like a mirror that doesn’t judge, but instead reflect.

Mirroring doesn’t mean you repeat exactly what they say.

Mirroring is repeating the meaning with affections.

Mirroring Benefits

Become a good listener.

Will know your friend better than ever.

Improve your charisma skill.

Communication with Parent

Try to stop arguing and listen to their story.

Parent too have worry and that can sometime affect how

they talk to us.

If you manage to understand them, many good thing will

occur.

Good Relationship with Parent Benefits

Better family circumstances.

A happy life style.

A good counselor right at home.

Seek to Be Understood

Seeking First to Understand is only half of habit 5.

Seeking to Be Understood is way more challenging since it

require courage.

If you can understand other, then other will surely

understand you too.

Feedbacks

Feedback is an important part of seeking to be

understood.

Do it right and it can be deposit in the RBA.

Only give feedback if it really help the person. If not then

it’s better to keep quiet.

When giving feedback, make the comment a first person kind of comment.

Feedback Benefits

Obtain more and have a better relationship.

Help a friend in need of help.

Improve yourself with the feedback from your friend.

Thank you for Reading