a 3 day journey guided by the six parenting principles

Love-Powered ParentingLoving Your Kids the Way Jesus

Loves You

A 3

day journey guided by the Six Parenting

Principles

Believe Nothing is More ImportantThe Power of Your Priorities

Love with New PowerThe Power of your Love

Communicate from the HeartThe Power of Your Words

Show and Teach MercyThe Power of Your Discipline and Compassion

Serve Your Children WellThe Power of Your Serving

Live the Golden RuleThe Power of Your Unselfishness

The Six Parenting Principles

This is my family . . .

My Dad – Bill - Real Estate Agent and volunteers as a White Hatter at the Calgary Airport. VERY active within the church (both mom and dad)

My Mom - Erika – worked for years with my dad as his secretary or as he would say, his boss. She now works as a manger for two senior complexes in Calgary. Loves her family and wears her heart on her sleeve.

My Sister – Kristeena - is a Social Worker in Calgary as an investigator for child protection. She’s the sport-sy one in the family and LOVES to travel.

We love our family and love one another and make Christ the center of all. We are the traditional type, but love to see where God leads us all. We are always a work in progress. God continues to mold us as a family.

My family

Introduce yourself Tell us about your family, including your children (their age)

What is something about your family other people don’t know

Getting to know you . . .

Facilitator You – participants and parents extraordinaire

with experiences to share. Confidentiality Homework each week – reading out of the

bookJournaling – What God’s Word says about

parenting, what thoughts you have about the reading, what things would you like to change in your parenting

Discussion

How will it work?

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all

your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your

children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you

get up.” Deuteronomy 6: 5-7

What does this passage have to do with parenting?

What could be the challenge in todays day in age?

How can we change the habits we may be in?

Deuteronomy 6:5-7

What is the definition of parenting according to our society today?

How does societies view of parenting differ from what Scriptures say?

Definition of Parenting


Week One

Day 1: Priority of Love

Day 2: Priorities Begins with My Choice

Day 3: Priorities are expressed in my Goals

Day 4: Priorities are Done in My Time

Day 5: Motivated by Love

What are your priorities as a parent?

What can get in the way?

Session on “Finding Energy for What’s Important – Accountability” (DVD)

Thoughts that came out of watching the DVD? What was helpful? What phrases made you think?


Week One

Day 1: Priority of Love

• “…Three encouragements from God to accept your

calling, prepare your life and value your roles as a parent

(p. 26).”

• “Great parenting is not about building a perfectly

ordered world; it is about knowing how to get your kids

into the cellar when the tornado hits”.

• Parenting is a calling from God. Prepare for the good

times AND for the bad. Pray!


Week One

Day 2: Priorities Begins with My Choice

Three Major Obstacles:

Decisions

Distractions

Drift

Why?


• Decide to parent intentionally

• Make relationships and love a priority. But

most of all make your relationship in Christ

the priority when it comes to all those.

• “…You will be amazed at the new strength

and energy you’ll find as a parent when

you make the priority of love your daily

beginning point (p.34).”

Intentionality . . .

Week One

Day 3: Priorities are expressed in my Goals

o A great place to start is to “start in the example

of Jesus as he grew up.” (pg. 37).

o Look at Luke 2:52

o Aim for “growing in four areas of life:

intellectual, physical, spiritual, social.” (pg. 38)


Week One

Day 4: Priorities are Done in My Time

Quality Time vs. Quantity Time

Four ways to Spend Time With Your Kids:

• Schedule Dates

• Establish Routines

• Love As You Go

• Just Do Nothing


“Set Little Happy Achievable Goals; set these

goals knowing they are not guarantees; and

establish your goals with a deepening sense of

trust in God (p. 43).”

Week One

Day 5: Motivated by Love

“If I speak to my children with the patience of a saint and

the wisdom of a prophet, but do not have love, I am only a

loud toy drum. If I guide my children to the right education

and future, but do not have love, it will all go up in smoke. If

I sacrifice my financial future for my children, but do not

have love, I give them nothing at all.” – p. 53

“Nothing is more foundational to loving your children then

taking the time to know you are loved (by God) (p. 57).”


Questions or Comments?

Parenting Principal #2

Love with New Power:The Power of Your Love

Please read all of Week 2 for next week!!!!

Next Week:

How To Protect Your Kids from Drugs:

Proactive Not Reactive Wednesday, April 10th @ 7 P.M.

in the sanctuary. Presenter: Sgt. Lorne Adamitz –

RCMP officer from K Division

REMINDER


Loves You

Love with New Power:The Power of Your

Love

Parenting Principle 2

Was there anything that popped out at you from last weeks reading or class?

What was one thing that you took out last weeks class/reading?

Review

Take a moment and have a look at the children in the tree.

What child would best describe you as a parent? Why?

Tell us which one of your children would be where in the pic!

Find Yourself in the Picture

Week Two

Day 6: Finding a New Pattern

Day 7: Getting the Right Foundation

Day8: Discovering a Higher Purpose

Day 9: Tapping into a Greater Power

Day 10: Becoming a Model Parent

Love with New PowerThe Power of Your Love

Week Two

Day 6: Finding a New Pattern

“It’s not enough to just want to break a bad

pattern. In order to change the way you love,

you must find a new pattern (p.64).”


• Pray that Jesus’ model of love will give you new patterns for your parenting

• As parents we tend to raise children as we were raised, and sometimes that was not healthy.

• What if we had bad examples to follow? Then what?

Day 6Finding a New Pattern

• Couples raise their children and have nothing left to give each other. . . True? False? Why?

Start trusting Jesus for refreshing strength to love your children greater.

Day 6Finding a New Pattern

“The example of Jesus, lived out in daily relationship with him, can give you strength to live in new ways. The old magnet of past patterns has not vanished; instead, you have a new and greater power drawing you in a new direction. Have you been trying harder until you’re tired of trying? If there is any one gift we can give you through reading this book, it would be the freedom to stop trying and start trusting, to stop trying to love your kids better and start trusting Jesus for a refreshing strength to love your children greater (p. 64).”

Week Two

Day 7: Getting the Right Foundation

“We need the foundation of his love in order to

love our children the way Jesus loves us

(p.67).”


Connect personally to God’s love. How?

This connection is through the study of God’s Word.

You yourself are a dearly love child of God. Jesus sacrificed Himself for us. HE is our foundation.

“This is real love. It is not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.” (1 John 4:10 NTL)

Lets have a look at the DVD

Week Two

Day8: Discovering a Higher Purpose

“Our love for one another, Jesus says, will be

the greatest evidence to those around us that

we are his followers (p. 76).”


The highest purpose is to help our children know and develop their relationship with Christ.

Example from the Bible of family struggle: Jacobs family

God can use struggles for our good.

Discovering a Higher Purpose

Week Two

Day 9: Tapping into a Greater Power

Do we rely on our own power and look to Jesus only in times of trouble? Why?


“ When I am content, I find myself trusting in God regardless of the circumstance (p. 85).”

The number one struggle with us is our own selfishness (thoughts?)

Day 9Tapping into a Higher Power

Week Two

Day 10: Becoming a Model Parent

• In our society today, what is a model parent?

• What is a model parent in God’s eyes?


“First, Jesus followed the Father’s example; then we are to follow Jesus’ example; and finally, and amazingly, others begin to follow our example and become an example themselves of the love of God (p. 85).”

Becoming a Model Parent

Choose to spend time with your children.

Choose to serve others with your children

Choose to keep talking, even when seems your children aren’t listening.

Choose to model your weakness.

Choose to release your children along the way

Parenting Principal #3Communicate from the Heart

The Power of Your WordsPlease read all of Week 3 for next week!!!

Next Week:


Loves You

Communicate from the Heart

The Power of Your Words

Parenting Principle #3



Review

Each of you should have a penny

Take a look at the year on the penny. I want you think of a significant moment (good or bad) or a faith moment that happened in the year of this penny.

What’s in a Penny. . .


Week Three

Day 11: Words Start in the Heart

Day 12: What to Say When Your Child is

Struggling

Day 13: What to Say When Your Child is Angry


Deciding

Day 15: What to Say When Your Child is Anxious


Week Three

Day 11: Words Start in the Heart

“…Admit that words come from the heat, choose

to ask God to change your heart, and humbly ask

for forgiveness when you say the wrong thing (p.

101).”

“What comes out of the mouth gets it’s start in the heart” (Matt. 15:18).

The power of words do influence a child’s life is almost beyond measure.

How do our words effect our child?

Words Start in the Heart

Recognize that your words come from your heart

• You can be the change.

• “The things that come out of the mouth come from the heart” (Matthew 15:18).

Three foundations for change.. .

Ask God to change your heart

• Repentance – to turn around, to have a fresh start.

Forgive yourself!!!!

“Speaking the truth with love, we will grow up in every way into Christ, who is the head” (Ephesians 4:15)

Three Foundations for Change

Ask for forgiveness when you say the wrong thing.• “One of the greatest teaching moments for

our children can come after we’ve said the wrong thing (pg. 100). Why?

• The issue is whether you are committed to grow in the way you communicate.

• Are we taking steps to change your heart – the source of your words?

• Ask God to change your heart and humbly ask for forgiveness.

Three Foundations for Change

Watch week 3 of the DVD. What are some things that they authors said that stood out for you?

Love Powered Parenting DVD



Struggling

“It’s one thing to know that encouraging words

are good: it’s quite another to find that God in

this love gives us the power to say these words,

even when we are upset or tired (p.108).”

“Negative words look to the past; encouraging words look to the future. Negative words place blame; positive words look for

solutions. Negative words promote guilt; encouraging words

provide grace (pg. 105).”

“Some of the hardest work you’ll ever do as a parent may be the work of

making the choice to encourage 0 the work of resisting the temptation to

react in anger, of choosing words that encourage change instead of

permissively accepting the status quo, of helping your children see

themselves and their circumstances through the eyes of God’s sanctifying

love (pg. 105).”

Encouraging words have great power.

Positive words don’t ignore negative circumstances; they just deal with them in a positive way.

Listen to your children and give them honest encouragement.

What to Say When Your Child Is Struggling


Week Three


Angry

“Lord, help me control my tongue; help me be

careful about what I say (Psalm 14:3 NCV).

When I am confronted, help me express gentle

love (p. 117).”

Don’t say, “Just don’t feel angry.” What will saying that do?

Gentle means power under controlThree ways to live life:

Out of ControlIn ControlUnder God’s Control

“Lord, help me control my tongue; help me be careful about what I say” (Psalm 143:3).

What to Say When Your Child is Angry



Deciding

“Wisdom is passed on to our children as we speak

at the right time and in the right way, and as we

choose the right words. More then anything,

wisdom is passed on as we share how the wisdom in

God’s Word has impacted our lives and how it can

apply in the very circumstances that your child

faces today (p.126).”

We pass along wisdom to our children by the way we make decisions

Speak at the Right Time.

Speak the Right Way. Choose the Right Words.

What to Say When Your Child is Deciding



Anxious

“The focus gets off of myself when I realize

God’s focus is on all of us, that we live together

under his loving care. Instead of being

independent or codependent, I realize we are all

mutually dependent on him (p. 134).”

What can we do to help our children overcome worries?

When your child is worried, speak kindly.How do we get the focus off of ourselves?Remember these two things:

Your identity is in Christ.God’s focus is on You.

When we see God’s kindness towards us, we are able to act with kindness towards others. . . How?

What to Say When Your Child is Anxious

Parenting Principle #4Show and Teach MercyThe Power of Your

DisciplinePlease be sure

to read

Week 4

For next week

NEXT WEEK

Show and Teach MercyThe Power of Your Discipline

and Compassion

Parenting Principle #4



Review

Day 14 Three practical tips:

1. Speak at the Right Time2. Speak in the Right Way3. Choose the Right Words

Pg. 123 – Specific verses that help chl make good decisions.

Lets look back. . .

Day 15 – What to Say When Your Child Is Anxious

Two Truths – 1. Your identity is in Christ, 2. God’s focus is on you.

1. Your identity is in Christ: Making sure Christ is the center is the parenting and it’s not about you.

“You don’t’ find your identity in your parenting or in your job; it is found in Christ” (pg. 132).

2. God’s focus is on you – Psalm 139

“ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how god clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will not be much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’”

Matthew 6:26-31

God’s Care for you

“ When I see that God’s heart is turned toward me, I am able to turn my heart toward others. When I see God’s kindness toward me, I am able to speak and act with kindness towards others (pg. 134).”

Take the focus OFF yourself and realize that God’s focus is on you – and on your children and everyone else in the world.

What does this mean?

Show and Teach MercyThe Power of Your Discipline and Compassion

Week Four

Day 16: We All Need Mercy

Day 17: Stop Driving Your Kids Crazy

Day 18: Loving Discipline

Day 19: The Gift of Compassion

Day 20: Forgiveness Unlocks Families

Day 16: We All Need Mercy

“Jesus tells me that if I’m going to show my

children mercy, I must abandon hypocrisy and

pursue integrity. And then I must move

outside of myself to offer the other person

genuine mercy (p. 140).”

The Power of Your Discipline and Compassion

A Heart of Mercy

• Hypocrisy is pointing out the wrong in someone else’s life but being unwilling to admit it in your own life.

• Integrity is being honest about the faults that you have – is this easy?

• The alternative to judgement is mercy – showing that Jesus has forgiven all our faults

We All Need Mercy

Day 17: Stop Driving Your Kids Crazy

“It takes great humility to admit our tendency to

exasperate our children, and even greater humility to

act in new ways. When you make these choices, you

are teaching your children the character of mercy,

passing on to them the mercy that Jesus has shown

you, and helping to form a hear in them that can pass

mercy on to other (p. 153).”


Our treatment of our own children is the first place that they learn about mercy and forgiveness

Where do we go wrong? Unclear boundariesInconsistent disciplineUnbalanced criticismUnreasonable demandsUnspoken expectationsUnderserved or unresolved anger

Stop Driving Your Kids Crazy

Day 18: Loving Discipline

“I don’t know all they will face, but God does;

and he asks us to discipline as we think best,

doing it all out of the motivation of love (p.

160).”


What are some things that you find challenging about discipline? Is it easy to discipline a child?

Better choice than driving our kids crazy is proper discipline

Without discipline, children learn to be selfish (how?)

Discipline is for the benefit of the children

Prepare children for God’s lifetime discipline (how?)

Loving Discipline

Day 19: The Gift of Compassion

“Ask the compassionate Christ to empower you

to give a compassion beyond yourself to your

children (p. 172).”


Give your child -

Hope PatienceFresh startYour understanding Your forgiveness

Gift of Compassion

Day 20: Forgiveness Unlocks Families

“When you realize how much he has forgiven

you, you receive the strength to forgive other

(p. 180).”


One of the greatest lessons we can teach our children is how to forgive – why?

Biblical Example: Joseph forgave his brothersGuilt cannot motivate forgiveness; only God’s

love can motivateParents need to know they are forgiven. As a

results they are empowered to forgive their children (and themselves(.

Forgiveness Unlocks Families

Parenting Principle #5Serve Your Children Well

The Power of Your Serving

Be sure to read Week 5 for next week

NEXT WEEK



Review

Use the first letter of your LAST name and list adjectives that start with the same letter to tell us about your family.

Just in case you forgot what an adjective is: adjective is a word that describes, identifies or further defines a noun or a pronoun

Example: Schultz – S – Successful, small, sweet, selfless, simple, solid (in faith)

“We’re a Family” YouTube Video

Warning – it will get stuck in your head


Day 21: A Great Parent

Day 22: Leading Towards Faith

Day 23: Prayers Last a Life Time

Day 24: Encouraging Spiritual Growth

Day 25: Truth Along the Way

Day 21: A Great Parent

“Greatness is in replacing the selfish choice

with the servant choice (p. 185).”


Jesus says that if we want to be great at anything, we have to be a great servant.

What is a servant? How does God call us to be a servant?

Be a great servant to your childrenProvide for your childrenProtect your children

“We want to be great parents, so we should be _____.” What comes to mind??

Day 21 – A Great Parent

Day 22: Leading Towards Faith

“Can you imagine anything more fulfilling than

helping one of your children become a child

of God? You have a role to play as they begin

a relationship that will change their eternity

(p. 191).”


The most important way that we can serve our children is by telling them about Jesus

There is much Biblical influence of parents in the spiritual lives of children

It is important to be cautious about decision theology in this chapter

Leading Towards Faith

“As we look at the lives of people of faith in the Bible, we often see the influence of

parents of faith. The mother and grandmother of Timothy, an early leader of the church,

gave him the gift of faith as a child. The man in charge of the jail in Philippi was led to faith

by his prisoners, Paul and Barnabas, and immediately led his entire family to faith in

Jesus as well. When you have a genuine faith, you will naturally influence your children

toward genuine faith in their lives. (Pg. 192)”

As a parent – live a life that is pleasing to God and is an example to your child. This means having God in the center of life and everything else surrounding it.

Living this life will be a lasting example to your child. Not only that, but it will be the lasting legacy that will last many generations. It’s the passing down of something that is more important than any items here on earth.

How do we live a life pleasing to God, especially when it comes to our families?

Day 23: Prayers Last a Life Time

“The prayers you pray for your kids are going

to be answered all their lives, even after

you’ve been in heaven for many years

(p.201).”


When do you find you pray the most, as a parent? Why?

When should we pray?

Another great blessing is praying for our children

Ideas to help encourage parents to pray Prayer & Thanksgiving journalPray throughout the dayUse triggers as remindersGet together with others to prayPray Bible verses

Prayers Last a Life Time

Day 24: Encouraging Spiritual Growth

“By serving your children and building into

their spiritual growth, you are involving

yourself in the greatest construction project

on earth (p. 209)!”


You cannot cause growth, but you can encourage growth

Teach your children to:Be a member of God’s familyMature in their faithMinister to othersHave a mission in the worldMagnify God

Encouraging Spiritual Growth

Day 25: Truth Along the Way

“As you verbalize, memorize, and symbolize

God’s words with your children, you are

giving them a gift that will last a lifetime

(p.215).”


One of the most powerful ways that we can service our kids is to show them the truth of God’s Word

Verbalize God’s Word – talk aboutHis Word at different times of the day.Memorize God’s Word – Make memorizing fun. Use hand motions, sing a song, etc. Symbolize God’s Word

Truth Along the Way

Please be sure to sign up for an item to bring for the potluck

Those of you who are bringing your children, please be sure to bring a change of clothing and snack for them (or you parents can figure out snack together).

Trudy will be taking them outside if the weather is nice so please be sure to bring water for them as well.

Gift for a Thank You for TrudyAnything I have missed?

Reminders for Sunday

Parenting Principle #6Live the Golden RuleThe Power of Your

Unselfishness

Sunday

Live the Golden RuleThe Power of Your

Unselfishness


What is one thing that you will take out of the six weeks we had together?

What changes have you seen in your family since reading this book, or even in your parenting?


Week six

Day 26: How Your Kids Treat You

Day 27: How You Treat Your Kids

Day 28: No Such Things as a Perfect Family

Day 29: A Father Like No Other

Day 30: Trusting God for the Impossible

Day 26: How Your Kids Treat You

“According to God, job one for your children is

obeying and honoring their parents (p. 224).”


“The Golden Rule can only be truly lived out in connection with God. As a human being, I can always figure out how another person wants or needs to be treated. I can make a good guess based on my own needs, but why not go beyond this to see what God says about the meeting of another’s needs? God is our creator. He knows and understands us like no one else ever will.” (pg. 220)

Two Questions at the core or parenting:

1. What does God say about how parents are to treat children?

2. What does God say about how children are to treat parents?

The action of obedience

The attitude of honor

Through obedience children learn:The discipline of serviceThe pleasure of doing the right thingThe promise of God’s blessings for following

Him

How Your Kids Treat You

Day 27: How You Treat Your Kids

“... growing in my spiritual relationship with

my children, seeing them as children of God

(p. 229).”


As parents we are to treat our children the way we would want to be treated

Don’t give them what they want – give them what would most meet their needs

Treat your children as a gift from God, a stewardship from God, and as brothers and sisters

How You Treat Your Kids

“The environment is all important! A poor family environment can produce children

who, like plants choked by weeds, are being stifled by worries and stress. There are other environments just as unhealthy for growth:

hothouse children, who look great in the protected environment but wilt when they get

outside into the real world; or Bonsai-tree children, with their roots clipped so carefully

that they end up looking like a perfect miniature of their parents’ wishes.” (pg 226)

“In a garden, there are a thousand things to do yet only

a few simple principles to follow: water, feed, protect, and weed. In that sense, gardening is a

great picture for us as parents.” (pg. 226)

What kind of growing would you like to see in your family and as a parent?

Day 28: No Such Things as a Perfect

Family

The key is to NOT GIVE UP!

“It is an awesome gift to have one person in

your life who you know will never give up on

you (p. 235).”


Struggle as parents

No family is perfect

Trust in God’s power

No Such Thing as a Perfect Family

When you get weary as a parent, what reactions do you have towards your children ?

What is easily thrown to the weigh side as a weary and tired parent?

What is important to remember when we are weary?

How can this become a teachable moment for our children?

Day 29: A Father Like No Other

“Trusting God as Father means looking forward

to the reward he so graciously will give (p.

244).”


Trust God as Your FatherFeel His compassionAccept His unconditional loveTell Him your needsHeed His guidanceEnjoy His presenceRejoice in His reward

A Father Like No Other

Day 30: Trusting God for the Impossible

“…God of the universe has the future firmly in

his hands.”

“Nothing is impossible with God” (Luke 1:37

NLT).


“All parents, knowing that the job is still beyond them even when times are good, need to embrace the strong conviction, “Nothing is impossible with God.”

“Nothing is impossible with God” – Luke 1:37

Feeling of Fear

Seems ordinary

Problems at first

Matter of Faith

Trusting God for the Impossible

Look within you

Parenting involves every moment of every day, so you need power from God for every moment of every day. (pg 251)

Your family life does not have to determine by how you were raised- not if you are filled with God’s Spirit. (251). You can be the person that is the change.

Look around you

Look to see whom God has put into your life – someone who can be the support and encouragement on this journey of being a parent. Who can be there for an ear, be guidance through the struggles and most of all will pray for you and with you.

Look above you

The angel directed Mary’s attention to God because God is greater, far greater, than any opportunity of problem you will ever encounter as a parent.

Nothing is impossible with

God!!!

“If there is only one gift we could give you through

the reading of this book, it would be the freedom

to stop trying and start trusting, to stop trying to

love your kids better and start trusting Jesus for a

refreshing strength to love your children greater

(p. 64)”

a 3 day journey guided by the six parenting principles

Documents

priorities love

unselfishness slide

parenting discussion

priority of love day

choice day

time day

day journey

todays day