Top Gear challenges

Top Gear challenges are a segment of the Top Gear tele-vision programme where the presenters are tasked by theproducers, or each other, to prove or do various thingsrelated to vehicles.

1 Novelty/stunt challenges

Novelty challenges and short stunt films are typicallybased on absurd premises, such as jumping a bus overmotorcycles (instead of the more typical scenario of amotorcycle jumping over buses), or a nun driving a mon-ster truck. These features have become much less promi-nent over the life of the programme (they were muchmore regular during the first four series); they have beensuperseded in later series by the “How hard can it be?" andCheap car challenges, which are much larger in scope.

• How fast do you have to drive to be undetectedby a speed camera? Series One, Episode One

• How many motorcycles can a double-decker busjump over? Series One, Episode Two

• Can Grannies do donuts? Series One, EpisodeThree

• Can you make an 'average' car into a 007/Bondcar, for less than £300? Series One, Episode Five

• Can Grannies do handbrake turns? Series One,Episode Six

• What is Britain’s fastest faith? Series One,Episode Seven & Ten

• Who is Britain’s fastest white van man? SeriesOne, Episode Eight

• Lotus give a Lada Riva a £100,000 makeover Se-ries One, Episode Eight

• How much faster will a car go if you strip it tosave weight? Series One, Episode Nine

• What to do with the worst car of all time, the1985 Nissan Sunny? Series Two, Episode One

• What is Britain’s fastest political party? SeriesTwo, Episode Two

• What country makes the fastest supercar? SeriesTwo, Episode Three

• Can Ford’s World Rally Championship pit teamdismantle and rebuild a rally car faster than fourwomen can get ready for a night out? Series Two,Episode Five

• May oversees an attempt at the land-speedrecord for a caravan Series Two, Episode Six

• A“race for the universe": Sci-Fi characters racearound the Top Gear track Series Two, EpisodeEight

• Can The Stig achieve 100 mph on the 200m run-way ofHMS Invincible? Series Three, Episode One

• How many caravans can a 1987 Volvo 240 jumpover? Series Three, Episode Two

• What is the best wig for driving fast in an opentop convertible? Series Three, Episode Five

• Which professor can do the best burn-out? SeriesThree, Episode Seven

• Can a nun drive a monster truck? Series Four,Episode Two

• Hammond and May play darts using real carsSeries Four, Episode Four

• Hammond makes fun of motorists that blockyellow boxes Series Four, Episode Eight

• Is the jet from a 747 enough to blow a car over?Series Four, Episode Eight

• Can you parachute into a moving car? SeriesFour, Episode Nine

• OlympicGames for cars: Long Jump Series Four,Episode Ten

• How many bouncy castles can an ice cream vanjump? Series Five, Episode One

• Hammond and May play conkers with caravansSeries Five, Episode Four

• Historic People Carrier Racing ChampionshipSeries Five, Episode Five

• Can a stretch limo jump over a wedding party?Series Six, Episode Four

• Hammond oversees an attempt at the worldrecord for the number of complete sideways rollsin a car Series Six, Episode Nine

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2 2 CHALLENGE REVIEWS

• Hammond andMay playwith life-size radio con-trol carsmade from real cars Series Seven, EpisodeTwo

• The Team try to get a 1986 Mini to beat a skierdown a ski slope at Lillehammer Winter OlympicSpecial

• Hammond oversees an attempt by the Stig atthe nonexistent indoor world speed record SeriesEight, Episode Six

• Motorhome Racing Series Ten, Episode Six

• Hammond converts a G-Wiz into a full-sizedremote-controlled car Series Ten, Episode Ten

• May oversees an attempt by Top Gear Stuntmanat the nonexistent world record for car jumpingin reverse Series Eleven, Episode One

• May oversees an attempt by Top Gear Stuntmanto replicate a corkscrew car jump, as featuredin The Man with the Golden Gun Series Eleven,Episode Two

• The Top Gear team (Britain) take on the hostsof DMOTOR (Germany) in a series of car chal-lenges to decide the best motoring country SeriesEleven, Episode Six

• Bus Racing Series Twelve, Episode Five

• Hammond oversees an attempt by Top GearStuntman to beat rival show Fifth Gear's dis-tance record for jumping a car while towing acaravan Series Twelve, Episode Seven

• Clarkson plays British Bulldogs with the BritishArmy Series Thirteen, Episode Four

• Airport vehicle racing Series Fourteen, EpisodeFour

• Clarkson drives a 1994 Reliant Robin fromSheffield to Rotherham (constantly flippingover) Series Fifteen, Episode One

• Top Gear UK vs Top Gear Australia Series Six-teen, Episode Two

• World Taxi Racing Championship Series Twenty,Episode Two

2 Challenge reviews

A common theme on Top Gear is an approach to review-ing cars that combines standard road tests and opinionswith an extremely unusual circumstance, or with a chal-lenge to demonstrate a notable characteristic of the vehi-cle.

• Drive until you get bored / Test: enjoyable travel.Clarkson claimed that Jaguars “ease the burden oftravel”[1] and devised a test for the Jaguar XJ to seehow far he could drive one before he got bored. Heran out of country before he got bored. Series Two,Episode Four

• Lap of the M25 / Test: fuel economy. Clarksondrove a lap of theM25 in a diesel Volkswagen Lupo,while another driver used the petrol version to seewhich would achieve greater fuel efficiency. Clark-son was allowed to spend any money he saved overthe petrol version on a gift at South Mimms ser-vices. He chose a small gold model of a cockerel,which made a reappearance in later series as “TheGolden Cock”—the award given to the presenterwho'd made the most embarrassing mistake of theyear. Series Three, Episode One

• Toyota Hilux destruction / Test: toughness.Clarkson and May used various methods in an at-tempt to destroy a 1988 Toyota Hilux, which in-cluded driving it into a tree which belonged toChurchill Parish, Somerset. The villagers presumedthat the damage had been accidental or vandal-ism had occurred until the Top Gear episode wasbroadcast. After the BBC was contacted, the direc-tor of Top Gear admitted guilt and the broadcasterpaid compensation.[2] Other tests on the Hilux in-cluded leaving it out in the ocean, slamming it witha wrecking ball, setting the cabin on fire and finallyhaving it hoisted to the roof of a tower-block thatwas subsequently blown up. The heavily damaged(but still driveable) Hilux now stands on a plinth inthe Top Gear studio. Series Three, Episodes Five &Six

• Helicopter gunship evasion / Test: handling.Clarkson tried to avoid being caught in missile lockfrom an WAH-64D Apache attack helicopter whiledriving a Lotus Exige. Series Four, Episode One

• London to Edinburgh and back again on a sin-gle tank of fuel / Test: fuel economy. Clarkson at-tempted to drive a 4.0 V8 diesel Audi A8 800 miles(1,300 km) on a single tank of fuel. Series Four,Episode Four

• Minicab road testing / Test: toughness and prac-ticality. Hammond and May worked as minicabdrivers in order to subject a Renault Scenic andFord C-MAX to a year’s worth of hard abuse in oneevening. Series Four, Episode Seven

• Off-road up a mountain / Test: off-road ability.Clarkson tried to drive a Land Rover Discoveryfrom the beach to the top of Cnoc an Fhreiceadain

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in Scotland, completely off-road. It was heavily crit-icised by environmentalists for the damage done bythe vehicle’s tyres. This stunt was memorable in thatClarkson left the mountain by helicopter with theDiscovery’s keys in his pocket, so delaying its re-moval from the hill. Series Five, Episode Three

• 24 hours in a car / Test: comfort. Hammond andMay spent 24 hours in a Smart Forfour to assessthe marketing claim that the car is “designed like alounge.” Series Five, Episode Four

• Tank evasion / Test: off-road ability. Clarkson dis-covered whether a Challenger 2 tank could lock itsmain cannon on to a Range Rover Sport. Series Six,Episode One

• Car Football / Test: toughness and handling. Ham-mond and May, along with a selection of profes-sional drivers, played a football match using ToyotaAygos. Series Six, Episode One

• Sniper evasion / Test: handling. Clarkson drovearound a deserted village (British Army training fa-cility Copehill Down) in a Mercedes-Benz SLK55AMG and a 2005 Porsche Boxster S, trying to evadesnipers of the Irish Guards. Series Six, Episode Five

• Road Test Russian Roulette / Test: randomroad testing. Hammond and May worked asScooterMen[3] in order to road-test as many ran-domly selected cars as possible—the catches beingthat they wouldn't know what they'd be road-testing,and that they had to do it in the presence of the cars’owners. Series Six, Episode Nine

• Supercars / Superbridge / Test: illustrate the pointof supercars. The trio took three supercars (a FordGT, a Ferrari F430 Spider and a Pagani Zonda S)on a road trip to the recently opened Millau Viaductvia Paris. Series Seven, Episode Three

• Car Ice Hockey / Test: toughness and handling.Hammond and May, along with a selection of pro-fessional drivers, played an ice hockey match us-ing Suzuki Swifts, while Clarkson acted as referee.Winter Olympics Special

• Horse racing camera platform / Test: smoothride. Clarkson reviewed the Citroën C6 and put it towork as a mobile camera platform covering a horserace. Series Eight, Episode Five

• Car Football 2 / Test: toughness and handling.Hammond and May, along with a selection of pro-fessional drivers, staged another football match us-ing Toyota Aygos against a new contender, theVolkswagen Fox. Series Eight, Episode Five

• VIP chauffeur / Test: luxury. In Japan, May con-ducted road tests of theMitsuoka Orochi and Galue,and used the Galue to chauffeur a Sumo wrestlerand his manager to a tournament as a way to testif the car is “Japan’s Rolls-Royce.”[4] Series Eleven,Episode Six

• GT car on aWRC stage / Test: 4WD system. Maytakes a Bentley Continental GT to a Welsh stageof the World Rally Championship, and acts as KrisMeeke's co-driver. Series Nineteen, Episode One

• Car and tablecloth / Test: Speed. The Stig triesto use a Nissan GT-R to pull a tablecloth off a tablewithout smashing any of the ornaments and cutlery.Series Twenty-One, Episode Four

3 How hard can it be?

A recurring feature on Top Gear involves the hosts un-dertaking a number of bizarre challenges involving cars.The segments involving the challenges are usually pre-ceded by Jeremy Clarkson, though sometimes Richard orJames, asking the audience and viewers: “How hard canit be?"

3.1 Lap the Nürburgring in less than 10minutes... in a diesel

Series Five, Episode Five

Clarkson took a diesel Jaguar S-Type to the Nürburgringwith the aim of completing a lap in less than 10 min-utes. Clarkson was being coached by Sabine Schmitz,a noted German racer. After consecutive unsuccessfultries, Clarkson managed to lap the Nürburgring in 9 min-utes and 59 seconds, with Clarkson celebrating enthu-siastically and showing the results proudly to his coach.Schmitz was still unimpressed, proclaiming that she coulddo that time in a van, and then lapped the Jaguar 47 sec-onds faster than Clarkson’s time.

3.2 Lap the Nürburgring in less than 9minutes and 59 seconds... in a van

Series Six, Episode Seven

To celebrate the Ford Transit's 40th birthday, Hammondwent to the Nürburgring to see if Clarkson’s mentor fromthe previous Nürburgring challenge, Sabine Schmitz,could live up to her claim and do a lap in a diesel 2005Ford Transit van in less than 9 minutes and 59 seconds.Despite all the modifications made to the van (removal ofthe passenger seat, spare tyre, tools, windscreen wipers,Hammond, etc.), Schmitz was not able to do a lap time of

4 3 HOW HARD CAN IT BE?

less than 10 minutes, achieving a lap time of 10 minutesand 8 seconds.

3.3 Convertible people carrier

Series Eight, Episode One

The presenters were set the task of building a convert-ible people carrier. They succeeded in removing the rooffrom a 1996 Renault Espace and replaced it with a canvasfold-down top. The resulting vehicle was able to travel at100 mph without losing its roof, and was driven throughan animal park without any incident. However, a tripthrough a car wash resulted in the brand-new million-pound wash facility catching fire.This was the 100th episode but no-one in the crew real-ized this at the time and was only pointed out later by fansof the show.

3.4 Present a drive time radio show

Series Eight, Episode Two

The presenters tried to host a drive time radio show onBBC Southern Counties Radio in Brighton, but ended upwithmany complaints from the listeners. This wasmainlybecause Clarkson’s travel bulletins focused on houndingmotorists he could see dawdling on CCTV, rather thanissuing the more normal information on the location ofproblem areas caused by such people and how to avoidthem.

3.5 Amphibious vehicles

Series Eight, Episode Three

Jeremy Clarkson's amphibious Toybota pickup.

The presenters were set the challenge of building am-phibious cars, and using them to get to—and across—atwo-mile-wide reservoir. Hammond transformed a 1983Volkswagen camper van into a narrowboat-style “dampervan;" Clarkson attached an outboard motor to a modified1989 Toyota Hilux pick-up truck, which he dubbed the

“Toybota”. May fitted a 1962 Triumph Herald with amast and sails. This caused clearance problems on theroad and he had to take an alternative route when on landdue to a “low bridge.” Hammond’s dampervan was veryheavy and slow on the road, and quickly sank after en-tering the water. Both the Herald and Hilux performedwell in the water. May was voted the winner by the studioaudience. Winner: May [nb 1]

3.6 Car interior design

Series Eight, Episode Four

Clarkson bought a 1996 Mercedes-Benz S280 and de-signed his perfect interior based upon his house. The car,dubbed "Anne Hathaway’s Cottage", featured a wood-burning stove, kitchen chairs, a flagstone floor, and woodwith a cement base (weighing approximately two tons),even plastering the door trim. James May and RichardHammond then tested the car. A lack of seat belts and un-secured seats meant they tumbled around inside the car.Eventually, with May holding Hammond’s seat, a 0–60time of 35.4 seconds was established.

3.7 Improve your lap time by 20 seconds

Series Eight, Episode Five

Sir Jackie Stewart claimed that he could cut down any ofthe presenters’ driving time around a race circuit by 20seconds, so James took him up on the offer and they useda TVR Tuscan at Oulton Park.

3.8 Caravan holiday

Series Eight, Episode Six

Clarkson, May and Hammond went on a caravan holidayin Dorset to try and find out more about caravanning. Thetrio unsuccessfully tried to have fun and caused numer-ous traffic jams. May crashed the caravan into a bollard.Hammond and the Top Gear dog were “kidnapped” by anelderly female fan. Clarkson “accidentally” set the cara-van and its neighbour on fire while trying to cook chips.[5]

3.9 Kit car race

Series Eight, Episode Seven

The presenters, based at Knockhill Racing Circuit in Fife,were set the task of building a Caterham Seven Kit carfrom scratch and drive past the starting line, faster thanthe time it would take The Stig to reach the track fromthe Caterham showroom in Caterham using a pre-builtCaterham Seven Kit car. The presenters won the chal-lenge because The Stig was arrested by the traffic policejust 3 miles from the finish.

3.14 Stretch limos 5

3.10 Roadies van challenge

Series Eight, Episode Eight

The team decided to test some vans by being roadies forThe Who. May picked a 2005 Renault Master, Ham-mond chose a 2006 Ford Transit, and Clarkson selecteda 2006 Volkswagen T30 TDI 174 Sportline. After TheWho’s concert at Hyde Park, Clarkson, Hammond andMay took some of their equipment 90 miles to the siteof their next show. They concluded that the cheapest vanfor the task at hand should always be used. Subsequently,Clarkson admitted that the feature was not the greatest ofideas. After this challenge the presenters were then setthe challenge of buying a van for £1000, the ensuence ofwhich proved far more entertaining.

3.11 Road works in 24 hours

Series Nine, Episode One

The presenters decided to speed up the road works onthe B5481 near Bidford in Warwickshire. According tothe County Council, it would take an entire week, but theTop Gear team achieved it in just one day (although theydid have 32 men working with them). According to thefilm, Clarkson prevented them from having proper lunchbreaks and instead fed them on the berries growing on thebushes by the side of the road. However, for tea, Ham-mond fetched fish and chips for all the workmen. Theteam worked through the entire day and night to get thejob done. Jeremy decided to motivate the men by puttingon Maggie Thatcher’s speeches on a loudspeaker and say-ing “The sooner you're done, the sooner I'll turn her off”

3.12 Reliant Robin Space Shuttle

Series Nine, Episode Four

Hammond andMay tried to convert a 1992 Reliant Robininto a space shuttle. They were given 12 days to buildit[6] and help from the United Kingdom Rocketry Asso-ciation. Eight tons of thrust was required to launch theRobin—the largest non-commercial rocket launch under-taken in Europe. The Reliant Robin took off; everythingseemed to be working until a release bolt attaching theRobin to the fuel tank failed to detach. The combined re-sult spiraled out of control and crashed on a nearby hill-side.

3.13 Growing petrol using tractors

Series Nine, Episode Five

The presenters decided to grow their own environmen-tally friendly petrol by planting rapeseed in a field. Forthis challenge, each presenter needed to research and ac-quire a tractor. Each presenter then took part in a series

of challenges at the airfield, including a “drag race,” inwhich they raced each other while dragging somethingfound around the airfield. In the end, it was discoveredMay had ordered the wrong type of seed, so they endedup with 500 gallons of Biodiesel which was later used forthe Britcar 24-hour endurance race.

3.14 Stretch limos

Series Nine, Episode Six

The presenters were sent out to buy normal cars thatare available in Britain, then turn them into stretchlimousines. Once the presenters had built their limos,they had to chauffeur three celebrities across London tothe Brit Awards. Hammond chauffeured Jamelia in a1996 MG F “Sports Limo,” arriving with a stuck throttleand having to assist her exit with a pool ladder. Clark-son chauffeured Chris Moyles using a greatly length-ened, dual rear axle 1993 Fiat Panda, which as origi-nally engineered had not been road legal, and arrivingwith only half a car after it split in two before reach-ing its destination.[nb 2] James May attempted to chauf-feur Lemar in the “Salfa Romeaab” (a cross between thefront ends of an 1996 Alfa Romeo 164 and a 1996 Saab9000); Lemar ultimately got frustrated and got out of thecar after May repeatedly got lost. Clarkson claimed vic-tory as he got one photograph of his celebrity published ina newspaper. However, as his co-presenters pointed out,the image appeared in Clarkson’s own newspaper columnin The Sun (to which he responded that they both alsohave newspaper columns that they could have used).

3.15 Polar race special

Polar Challenge Special

Main article: Top Gear: Polar Special

In April–May 2007, Clarkson andMay teamed up to raceHammond from Resolute, Nunavut to the North Mag-netic Pole, taking the route set out in the Polar Challenge.The terrain in between is some of the toughest in theworld—amix ofmountainous landmasses and jagged seaice where temperatures can drop to −65 degrees Celsius(−85 degrees Fahrenheit). Jeremy and James used a spe-cially adapted Toyota Hilux pick-up truck, while Richardused a sled pulled by a team of ten Canadian Inuit dogs,driven by American explorer Matty McNair. In the endthe truck won, although the sled overtook them at onepoint while they were crossing the first of two fields ofice boulders.The Hilux used by the camera crew would later appear inSeason fifteen, Episode One, modified to be able to drivenear Eyjafjallajökull volcano in Iceland to obtain a lavarock.

6 3 HOW HARD CAN IT BE?

3.16 Amphibious cars: redux

Series Ten, Episode Two

James May's amphibious Triumph Herald.

The presenters made a second attempt to use amphibiouscars—this time to cross the English Channel. All threepresenters modified their original designs: Clarkson cre-ated an amphibious 1996Nissan pickup truck; Hammondused a new 1981 Volkswagen Transporter; May upgradedand used the same 1962 Triumph Herald he had used inthe original challenge. May was unable to sail the Her-ald out of the harbour, sinking twice and damaging thevehicle beyond repair. Hammond’s Transporter workedwell initially, but the engine was damaged in rough seas,necessitating the use of an outboard engine. It eventuallyflooded and sank. Clarkson won, while carrying his co-presenters, in his “Nissank” on the trip. The presentershad aimed for Calais, but missed, finishing in Sangatte.They also attempted (and failed) to break the record setby Richard Branson for the fastest crossing of the Chan-nel in an amphibious vehicle. Winner: Clarkson

3.17 Driving a Formula 1 car

Series Ten, Episode Eight

Hammond sets out to complete two laps around StoweCircuit at Silverstone driving the Renault R25 FormulaOne car, which took both the driver’s (with FernandoAlonso) and constructor’s championship titles in the 2005Formula One season.

3.18 Britcar 24-hour endurance race

Series Ten, Episode Nine

In the previous series, the presenters planted their ownbiofuel crop, which was rapeseed. However, due to anordering blunder made by James May they accidentallymade 500 gallons worth of biodiesel. In order to disposeof it, they took part in the Britcar 24-hour endurance raceat Silverstone Circuit using a modified 2003 BMW 330d.Arriving at the event, the team discovered that it was not

Richard Hammond driving Top Gear’s diesel BMW 330d in theBritcar 24 Hours.

an event for novices, as they had expected, but it was afully professional endurance race and the team would becompeting alongside actual 200 mph supercars. How-ever, with help from The Stig, they eventually finishedthird in class and 39th overall, despite a fuel pump fail-ure, only just making the start, several fuel leaks, goingoff the track many times, and Hammond crashing into aMosler.

3.19 Renault Avantime tuning challenge

Series Twelve, Episode Three

The presenters were challenged to make an ordinarycar lap the track as fast as a Mitsubishi Lancer Evolu-tion X, which has a time of 1 minute 28 seconds, us-ing only the price difference from that ordinary car toa used Lancer Evo. They did not know what car theywould have to work with. Despite May’s prediction of aHyundai Accent 3-cylinder diesel, the car was revealedto be a 2002 Renault Avantime. Notwithstanding vari-ous modifications—including wheels, tyres, brakes, theexhaust of an unknown TVR, the rear wing from an F1car (which was later taken off), a wooden front splitter(which caught fire)—the presenters were unable to beatthe Evo’s time. They did improve on the original time by7.1 seconds, but this was achieved mostly through a com-bination of swapping out the heavy, electrically heatedseats that came with the Avantime for much lighter car-bon fibre racing seats, and May retuning the engine toget it nearer its rated power. The presenters noted thatthe other modifications generally didn't help, and someeven made the car slower. The only modifications thatdid work properly cost little beyond the time, effort andrelatively simple equipment used.

3.20 From Basel to Blackpool on a singletank of fuel

Series Twelve, Episode Four

See also: Fuel Economy Race - Car vs. Car vs. Car

3.24 Build a train 7

The presenters were challenged to drive from Basel,Switzerland to Blackpool, England, on a single tank offuel, in order to switch on the Blackpool Illuminations.Although each presenter chose a different route, Clark-son estimated the distance as approximately 750 miles.Each presenter chose diesel vehicles: Jeremy used a 2007Jaguar XJ6 Diesel, and in spite of using every featurein the car, and driving uneconomically, completed thejourney. He was beaten by Richard Hammond, driving a2008 Volkswagen Polo BlueMotion. James May, drivinga 2008 Subaru Legacy, arrived 40 minutes after Clark-son.

3.21 Make a car advertisement

Series Thirteen, Episode Seven

James and Jeremy were given the challenge to createa simple, but effective, TV advertisement for the newVolkswagen Scirocco TDi. Several entries were made,including one stating while the Scirocco wasn't fast it waseconomical, a rehash of a previous Golf ad, and one de-tailing a funeral (slightly spoiled by Clarkson). All wererejected, leading Clarkson and May to create separateads. Clarkson won with references to World War II.

3.22 Build an electric car

Series Fourteen, Episode Two

The presenters were challenged to create their own elec-tric car that would rival the G-Wiz. The first car, nick-named "Geoff", was put through its paces in the city ofOxford, before being re-built as the Hammerhead-i Ea-gle Thrust. The Hammerhead underwent a number ofsafety tests at the Motor Industry Research Association,with the Top Gear trio attempting to fool the examinersby using simple camera trickery. It was then reviewedby Autocar magazine, with the team disappointed bythe review, while making a reference to OFCOM, thetelecommunications regulator.

3.23 Build a snowplough

Series Sixteen, Episode Five

Due to the problems Britain suffered during the previ-ous winter with snow, and local authorities not having themoney to spend on road clearing equipment, the presen-ters came up with the idea of the Snowbine Harvester tosave money, working on the theory combine harvesterswere sitting idle during winter months so were readilyavailable with a cheap conversion kit. The team fitteda snowplough to the front of a used Claas Dominator. Itwas also converted to a gritter using the grain chute, ca-pable of blasting grit through the windows of nearby cars.

A flamethrower was fitted at the rear, operated by Jeremy,and a Bovril boiler in the cab for James to counter the lackof heating. During testing in Norway, the team blastedgrit through a house window, set fire to a man and ran intoa car hidden by snow. They then successfully ploughed aroad that had not previously been ploughed that winter.

3.24 Build a train

Series Seventeen, Episode Four

The presenters believed that train travel in the UK is tooexpensive, and the main reason is that trains are expen-sive to build. They first of all converted a 1990 4.0 JaguarXJS to work on the railway, before building carriagesfrom old caravans for the varying classes of passenger(first, second, “scum”) and a Buffet car using wheels fromPermanent Way trollies. The Jaguar was unable to pullthe four “carriages” due to their weight, and the Jaguar’srear-wheel-drive. The presenters split into two teams,with Clarkson taking the Jaguar and promising to build a“Train GTI”, and Hammond and May converting a four-wheel-drive 2001 Audi S8 to pull the existing carriages.The presenters (with their respective creations) thenraced from “near Leicester" (Leicester North) to “nearLoughborough" (Loughborough Central) on the GreatCentral Railway with a number of railway experts aspassengers. Clarkson won the race despite having beencaught behind Hammond and May at times and almostcolliding with a Class 08 shunting locomotive, with theBuffet car on Hammond’s and May’s train catching fire,and then “scum class” being hit (and destroyed) by pass-ing diesel locomotive D123 Leicestershire and DerbyshireYeomanry.

3.25 Off-road mobility scooters

Series Eighteen, Episode Four

The presenters are tasked with creating their own off-road mobility scooters for rambling in the Welsh coun-tryside. Clarkson builds an eight-wheeler with two en-gines from two electric scooters, with lawnmower wheels.May makes an electric wheelchair and Hammond createshis machine from a mobility trike and a petrol poweredbuilders’ wheelbarrow, with a single wheel at the front andcrawler tracks at the back The task ends with a race in thecountryside against three wounded soldiers. Only Ham-mond manages to finish the race, with Clarkson’s scooterfalling down a hill into a set of trees, andMay aborting themission and getting stuck outside a pub near Crickhowell.

4 Cheap cars

The presenters are given a budget to buy a used car con-forming to certain criteria. The budget is typically around

8 4 CHEAP CARS

£1,500, but it has ranged between £100 and £10,000 de-pending on the type of car. Once purchased, the pre-senters compete against each other in a series of tests toestablish who has bought the best car.The presenters have no prior knowledge of what the testswill be, although they generally involve:

• A long journey used to determine reliability and fueleconomy

• A lap round a race track, usually by the Stig, to de-termine performance. In some cases the Stig sets atime in a similar car and the presenters have to beatit.

• An inspection to discover what is and isn't workingor how much of the car is original

• Spending any leftover change from the initial budgeton repairing and/or modifying the cars

• Selling the cars at the end of the challenge.

All three presenters are highly competitive; vandalismand sabotage are commonplace, and any presenter whosecar breaks down during a challenge will typically be aban-doned to make their own way to the designated desti-nation. Certain challenges since the African Cheap CarRoad Trip have had a back-up car made available for anypresenter whose car breaks down and cannot be repaired.The back-up vehicle is generally a model that is loathedby all three presenters, or in some other way antagonisticto the current challenge.Due to the controversial nature of some challenges, it isdifficult to gauge who has been the most successful so far,but as a rough guide: May and Clarkson have won themost cheap car challenges with seven victories and Ham-mond has won three. Some challenges remain unclear,however, such as the £10,000 mid-engined Italian super-car challenge, where no presenter actually made it to theirdestination (although May came the closest). The winnerof the £1000 police car challenge remains unclear as aresult of Hammond eating the final results of Clarkson’sFiat, and declaring himself the winner.

4.1 £100 Car challenge

Series Four, Episode Three

The presenters were given £100 to buy a car that wasroad legal (had current tax and an MOT certificate). Thiswas to prove that a car could be purchased and drivenfrom London to Manchester and back again for less thanit would cost to take the train (around £180), includingthe price of the fuel. Clarkson bought a 1988 Volvo 760GLE, Hammond bought a 1991 Rover 416GTi, and Maybought a 1989 Audi 80 1.8E. The challenge included re-liability, fuel economy, stopping time, safety, price, and

lap-time testing. Clarkson won the challenge given thathe bought the Volvo for £1. Winner: Clarkson

4.2 Cheap Porsche challenge

Series Five, Episode Six

The presenters were given £1,500 to buy a Porsche.Clarkson bought a 1983 928, Hammond bought a 1980924, andMay bought a 1984 944. The challenge includeddriving fromLondon to Brighton, fuel economy, using thecar in a lonely-hearts column, lap time, selling the car,and using the change from the £1,500 modifying the carsfor judging by the Porsche Owners’ Club. Clarkson wonthe challenge (despite bringing the most unreliable of thethree cars) when he earned more by breaking down hiscar and selling it for parts. Winner: Clarkson

4.3 Cheap coupés that aren't Porscheschallenge

Series Six, Episode Two

Following the previous challenge[nb 3] the presenters weresent to buy coupes that weren't Porsches for £1,500 andreport to Millbrook Proving Ground. Clarkson boughta 1991 Mitsubishi Starion, Hammond purchased a 1983BMW 635 CSi, and May bought a 1982 Jaguar XJS,which was leaking oil as soon as it arrived.The first challenge was to see if they could exceed 140mph. May won by reaching 140, though the Jaguar brokedown and had to have its oil and water replaced. TheStarion, thanks to a modified turbocharger and some ac-cidental weight shedding, achieved 119 mph, beating theBMW’s 115 mph. A test of ride comfort was then car-ried out; each presenter drove their car at 30 mph overa cobbled road with a bowl of water in their lap, los-ing points for every ounce spilt. The Jaguar won again,and while Hammond’s sporty BMW did poorly, Clark-son fared even worse; the Starion’s manual gearbox wasof almost no consequence. The Stig then set a lap timefor each car on the Alpine testing track, where the Star-ion narrowly beat the BMW. The Jaguar came last andlost its engine oil again. The three presenters were nextasked to drive from Millbrook to the QI club in Oxford;points were awarded for the order of arrival, deductedfor breakdowns, and fuel economy was measured. May’sJaguar broke down so many times that he eventually gaveup the challenge, managing just 8miles per gallon. Clark-son beat Hammond to the club, albeit with poorer fuelconsumption.The final challenge was an endurance race - each presen-ter was allowed to modify their car with the money leftover from the original purchase. Hammond fitted a poorlyconstructed bodykit to the BMW. May tried to paint theJaguar in British racing green (only to run out of paint)and spent the rest fixing the engine. Clarkson had a more

4.6 US Special - Used American car for $1000 challenge 9

professional paint job, and installed an even more pow-erful turbo. The outcome was unexpected - while Clark-son’s new turbo made the Mitsubishi the fastest car in theentire race, the engine repeatedly overheated and brokedown after almost every lap, before one last blow up puthim out for good. Hammond’s transmission failed in thefinal stages of the race, but still beat May by two laps (al-though the Jaguar suffered wear during the race, it onlybroke down once when the brake fluid overheated). Win-ner: May (Clarkson, by concession)[nb 4]

4.4 Italian mid-engined supercars for lessthan a second-hand Mondeo challenge

Series Seven, Episode Four

The presenters were given £10,000 to buy a 1970s super-car, which had to be mid-engined and Italian, and toldto report to Bristol. Clarkson bought a 1974 MaseratiMerak, (he was told it was an SS model, only to discoverduring the challenges that it only had a £38 SS badge).Hammond a 1979-built (1983 late-reg) Ferrari 308 GT4,and May found a 1974 Lamborghini Urraco. Variouschallenges included a lap of the Castle Combe Circuit,changing the oil and sparkplugs of their cars and driv-ing from Chippenham to Slough on a set amount of fuel.Hammond won most of the challenges, andMay’s Urracowas a constant source of problems due to its poor electrics- it arrived in Bristol on the back of a tow truck, and brokedown on almost every leg of the trip. The Merak beganto deteriorate at Castle Combe, where it was revealed tohave terrible brakes, and the engine began making wor-rying noises alongside very poor performance. Clarksoninitially blamed the tappets, but as the day progressed,May declared that the engine was disintegrating. In theend, none of the cars survived the final journey. First,the Merak’s engine exploded, showering the Urraco inpieces of the wreckage and forcing Clarkson to crash intoa hedge. The 308 appeared to run out of fuel 10 milesfrom Slough, although Hammond later explained that theentire electrical system had failed suddenly. Finally, theUrraco ran out of petrol on the outskirts of Slough, caus-ing a major traffic jam. The presenters therefore unani-mously declared that the scores were useless, and Clark-son summarised with “yes, you can buy a mid-enginedItalian supercar for less than £10,000, but for the loveof God, don't!" No winner officially. Hammond onpointsTheGT4 used in this challengewas later bought and beingrepaired byHammond, only to be damaged again when hewas in the Petrolheads, where he was tricked and rammedduring a challenge.

4.5 White van man challenge

Series Eight, Episode Eight

As a followup from a previous challenge, and as punish-ment for the useless reviews of the vans tested, the pre-senters were given £1,000 to buy a van and face a seriesof challenges. Clarkson, following Hammond’s originalstrategy of buying a simple van, bought a 1992 Ford Tran-sit, while May chose a 1999 LDV Convoy box van for itsconsiderable storage. Hammond arrived last with a 1994Suzuki Super Carry, as it was very fast for a van.The tests began with a drag race; Hammond won eas-ily, Clarkson came second, and May last. They then per-formed a race to see how long it took to load and un-load various items (each presenter was given an illegalimmigrant). May had little trouble loading his van, buthad an uncooperative immigrant. Clarkson, who contin-ually moaned about his aversion to manual labour, simplythrew most of his items into the Transit carelessly. Hethen wrongfooted May by parking just behind the LDVto stop it unloading. Clarkson consequently won, whileHammond, who had fallen far behind due to the compar-atively small storage space of the Suzuki, lost badly.The third challenge was tailgating a passenger car asclosely as possible. Thanks to the Suzuki’s flat front,Hammond came close to a centimeter. Clarkson crashedthe Transit into the back of the car, and May’s LDV wascompletely outpaced. Next the presenters were told to re-place their driver’s side doors. Hammond and May wereable to remove their doors easily, while Clarkson sim-ply rammed his off with the LDV. He then used tape tofix a new door on, while Hammond successfully fitted hiswith bolts; May eventually ran out of time. The fifth chal-lenge tested how long a burglar took to break into the reardoor of each van; the burglar failed to open Hammond’s,smashed open May’s in half a minute, but took only 10seconds to break into the Transit. Finally the presenterswere tasked with outrunning a police patrol car drivenby the Stig on their test track. Clarkson won the event,which also featured a spectacular roll-over by Hammondtrying to achieve the Scandinavian flick while going roundthe first corner. Hammond, however, still won the overallchallenge. Winner: Hammond.

4.6 US Special - Used American car for$1000 challenge

Series Nine, Episode Three

See also: Top Gear: US Special

The presenters wanted to find out if it was easier to buya car for a holiday rather than rent one, so each of themwas given a budget of US$1000 to purchase a car, whichthey would take on a road trip across four US states,from Miami, Florida to New Orleans, Louisiana. Clark-son bought a 1989 Chevrolet Camaro, May got a 1989Cadillac Brougham Sedan, while Hammond bought aDodge Ram pick-up truck.

10 4 CHEAP CARS

During their journey they were given a series of chal-lenges, which included the cars being driven around atrack by The Stig’s overweight “American cousin,” doing0 to 50 to 0 without over-running the track and therebycrashing into a river full of alligators, and camping a nightin a field eating only roadkill. They also had to paint slo-gans on each other’s car in order to get them shot at orarrested as they drove across Alabama. When the threepulled into a gas station to refuel, the station’s ownercalled a gang and attacked them and their film crew withstones and chased them out of town.Upon arrival at New Orleans, the three presenters foundthe city was taking a long time to recover from HurricaneKatrina and thus could not bring themselves to ask formoney for their cars. They instead gave them awayto people who needed them. In the episode’s cred-its, the presenters were credited as “Cletus Clarkson”,“Earl Hammond JR”, “Ellie May May” and “Roscoe P.Stig”. All of the other credited crew had their first nameschanged to “Billy Bob”. Winner: Clarkson Clarksondeclared himself the winner and May as the loser (as hecould not even give his car away).

4.7 £1,500 two-wheel drive African cross-country car challenge

Series Ten, Episode Four

See also: Top Gear: Botswana Special

The presenters were sent to Botswana to buy a car thatwas not an off-road vehicle and had only two-wheeldrive, which they would drive across the country, fromthe eastern border of Zimbabwe to the western bor-der of Namibia (approximately 1,000 miles). The chal-lenge included a drive over the Makgadikgadi Pan, whichleft Clarkson and May’s cars filled with dust after theyhad been stripped of excess weight as to try to preventtheir cars sinking through the thin surface, and over theOkavango Delta. This was to prove “to the people of Sur-rey that they don't need 4×4s in case there are leaves onthe road.” This challenge introduced a new rule that stipu-lated if any of the presenters’ cars were to break down be-yond repair, they would have to complete the journey in asubstitute vehicle - for this challenge, a Volkswagen Bee-tle (the Beetle being the presenters’ unanimous choice astheir least favourite car). Clarkson bought a 1981 LanciaBeta Coupé, which was the most unreliable car of the lot.Hammond bought a 1963 Opel Kadett, which he namedOliver (consequently becoming the butt of jokes of theother presenters), while May bought a 1985 Mercedes-Benz 230E. Hammond felt such affection for his car thathe subsequently had it shipped to the UK (which resultedin Clarkson and May making fun of him), and it nowhas the occasional cameo on Richard Hammond’s BlastLab. Oliver was Hammond’s “prized possession” in theTop Gear 'Lorryist' challenge. All three made it to the

Namibian border. Clarkson declared the Beetle as thewinner, since it had no documented mishaps during thetrip, much to the shock of Hammond, with which Mayanswered "[he]'s right!". Volkswagen Beetle (back upcar)

4.8 British Leyland did make some goodcars after all challenge

Series Ten, Episode Seven[7]

In an argument with the producers of Top Gear, the pre-senters claimed British Leyland did produce some goodcars after all. So, they were given a budget of £1,500(oftheir own money) to buy a British Leyland car in whichthey would face a series of challenges, for which, in-stead of points, they would earn money back. Clark-son got a 1981 Rover SD1, Hammond bought a 1972Dolomite Sprint, whereas May acquired a 1978 Princess.Challenges included a variety of tests at the MIRA prov-ing ground, and seeing how far the cars could be drivenwhile full of water. The boys also reproduced the introof Money from the various squeaks and clunks their carsmade. After all the challenges, Clarkson summed up themoney and declared May the winner of the challenge, asnot only did he get back all that he had paid, he made a£20 profit. Winner: May

4.9 Make a police car for a lot less moneythan the real police spend on their carschallenge

Series Eleven, Episode One

The presenters were all given £1,000 to buy a car andturn them into police cars able to surpass the Police’sstandard-issue Vauxhall Astra Diesels. Clarkson boughta 1998 Fiat Coupé 20V Turbo for £900, painted it in Ital-ian Polizia di Stato livery (although the colour was wrong),and fitted it with "Boudicea" wheel covers. May bought a1994 Lexus LS400 for £900 as well, which he painted ina traditional 'jam sandwich' livery, fitted with an air sirenfrom an ice cream van, and armed with paint sprayersat the back. Hammond bought a 1994 Suzuki Vitara for£750, and equipped it with light bars and a self-deployingstinger on the front (actually several doormats stitched to-gether with nails poking through). The presenters’ carswere then put to test around the Top Gear track, which in-cluded beating the Stig’s lap in the Vauxhall Astra diesel(coupled with extra points for flamboyance), clearing acrash site in less than two minutes, and then stopping theStig in a police chase (the latter driving a BMW 7-Series)“Without using £125,000 worth of Volvo, the RAF, and16 health and safety forms.” The real police first demon-strated how to stop the stolen car using four Volvo V70estates, boxing in the car to the side of the road, followingthe fulfillment of “13 separate health and safety criteria.”

4.11 Mercedes-Benz 600 vs Rolls-Royce Corniche Coupé challenge 11

All three cars were subsequently displayed at the BritishMotor Show 2008. Winner: Hammond[nb 5]

4.10 Can you buy anAlfa Romeo for £1000or less without it completely ruiningyour life all the time? challenge

Series Eleven, Episode Three

The presenters’ Alfas when the challenge ended. From left toright, Hammond’s Spider, Clarkson’s 75 and May’s GTV.

The presenters were challenged with proving to theshow’s producers that in order to be a true “petrol head”,you need to have owned an Alfa Romeo. So, they wereeach given £1,000 to buy their own Alfa Romeo. Clark-son bought a 1989 Alfa Romeo 75 3.0 V6 (for £450),Hammond bought a 1984 Alfa Romeo Spider 2.0 (for£1,000), and May bought a 1996 Alfa Romeo GTV 2.0TwinSpark (for £995). The cars were put to a seriesof tests, which included participating in a track day onthe Rockingham Motor Speedway road course, featuringtheir cars on a calendar which they must sell at a news-stand, and then lastly entering an Alfa Romeo exclusiveConcours d'Elegance event, traveling as far as 80 miles toget to the event area.At the race circuit, the presenters were to gain a pointfor every car they overtook and lose a point each timethey were overtaken. As the field consisted predominatelyof high-end sports and supercars, none of the presentersmanaged to overtake any competitors. Clarkson rolledhis car attempting to overtake a Ford Focus.In a side challenge, each presenters had to create a calen-dar featuring their cars which was to be sold at a news-stand. None of the presenters’ calendars managed to selleven a single copy.After the track day, the presenters then had to prep theircars for a Concours d'Elegance competition. Clarksondecided to respray his car in Skoda Green, a colour heused on his Fiat Coupe in the Police Car Challenge. Maymeticulously cleaned his car, being careful to remove allthe dust from the interior and bodywork, and Hammondre-upholstered his seats using Clarkson’s leather jacket.

During the journey to the Concours, Hammond hadto manually send coolant into his engine using a handcranked pump (due to a broken water pump during thetrack day challenge). This eventually broke, and his en-gine seized, forcing May to tow him. After crashing intoMay a few times, May got fed up and abandoned him.Clarkson helped to tow Hammond despite his gearboxnearing the end of its life, and the two sabotaged May’sengine bay with cheese. After the judges finished, Jameswas awarded 74 out of a possible 150 points while Jeremyand Richard were given 23.5 and 9 respectively - the low-est scores in Concours history.Clarkson was declared the overall victor (largely due tothe car’s low price), which pleased him greatly as it washis first victory in three years for a cheap car challenge.Winner: Clarkson

4.11 Mercedes-Benz 600 vs Rolls-RoyceCorniche Coupé challenge

Series Eleven, Episode Five

Clarkson and May attempted to find out which of theirclassic luxury limousines—Clarkson’s 1969-built (1973late-reg) Mercedes-Benz 600 “Grosser” or May’s 1972Rolls-Royce Corniche—was better. So they brought theircars to the Top Gear Test Track for a series of challenges.This was not a real “Cheap Car Challenge,” as Hammonddid not participate, the presenters owned the cars prior tothe challenge, and neither of the cars involved were par-ticularly cheap. They summarised the choice as “between'Camp' and 'Camp Commandant' " based on the previousowners of the vehicles they were using in the challenge.Winner: Clarkson

4.12 How much lorry do you get for £5000challenge

Series Twelve, Episode One

Unable to understand how truck-driving can be so hard,the presenters each bought a second-hand lorry for under£5,000. May bought a Scania P94D, Clarkson bought aRenault Magnum and Hammond bought an ERF EC11.Clarkson painted his truck black, resulting in multiplevisibility problems. Hammond tried to Americanize histruck by attaching a dog kennel to the front of his truck.May attached many flowers and decorations to make itlook like a float. After decorating their lorries, they weresent to Millbrook Proving Ground, where the first chal-lenge was to successfully powerslide their trucks on askid pan (as demonstrated by “The Stig’s Lorry-drivingCousin”). None of them managed, but May and his truckcame out unscathed. Clarkson got " his gear shifter stuckup his arse.” And Hammond’s dog kennel fell off.After several attempts at attaching trailers, the secondchallenge involved driving round the Alpine handling

12 4 CHEAP CARS

course with their trailers loaded with various awkwardloads (Hammond an unsecured Nissan Micra, May awedding cake, and Clarkson hay bales and an electricfire) All three failed to get their cargo round the track,with Hammond’s car breaking through the rear doors andfalling off, and May’s cake falling over. Clarkson’s loadunsurprisingly set fire to the trailer.The next challenge featured the trucks, speed limitersremoved, in a race around the two-mile bowl of Mill-brook to see which was fastest; Hammond won with hislightweight ERF hitting 90 miles an hour. The fourth testhad each presenter attempting to perform a hill start withtheir vehicles, and to encourage them, prized possessionswere placed behind each of their lorries. Jeremy, withhis drum kit placed behind his lorry, was successful ashis vehicle had a crawler gear, although May and Ham-mond promptly ran over and trashed the drum kit. Oliver,Hammond’s restored Opel Kadett from the Botswana ad-venture, was placed behind his lorry and he eventuallyforfeited rather than risk crushing it. May’s grand pi-ano was smashed when he failed to prevent his lorry fromrolling backwards, although the production crew had al-ready damaged it while positioning it.The final challenge, for speed, braking, and toughness hadeach presenter driving their vehicles through an obstacleat 56 miles an hour, and the winner going the shortestdistance after hitting it. Hammond managed to stop hislorry in a shorter distance after driving through a mobilehome than May did after driving through a structure builtout of six hundred water coolers. Clarkson traveled theshortest distance, but was injured after driving his lorrythrough a brick wall. At the end, the “hopelessly com-plicated” scores were tallied, and May was declared thewinner. Winner: May

4.13 Vietnam Special

Series Twelve, Episode Eight

See also: Top Gear: Vietnam Special

The three presenters went on a trip to Vietnamwhere theywere each given 15 million Vietnamese đồng to buy a "setof wheels" able to drive 1,000 miles from Ho Chi MinhCity in the south to Halong Bay in the north. However,due to the car prices and the money they were given, thetask was completed using cheap motorbikes. The goalwas essentially to do in eight days what the Americansfailed to do in the ten years of the Vietnam War.As in previous challenges, the producers provided a re-placement vehicle to any presenter whose vehicle brokedown, in this challenge a Honda minibike decorated in astars and Stripes livery with Born in the USA by BruceSpringsteen playing on an iPod (redubbed with The Star-Spangled Banner in some versions), causing much dis-tress to the presenters due to the Vietnam War with

America.Clarkson emerged victorious by reaching the bar first.Winner: Clarkson

4.14 Finding the perfect car for 17-year-olds

Series Thirteen, Episode Two

With a budget of £2,500 each including insurance, thethree bought cars that were “ideal” for 17-year-olds.Clarkson, Hammond and May bought a 1995 Volvo 940estate, 1993 Hyundai Scoupe and 1994 Volkswagen GolfMk III respectively. They were then given a series of chal-lenges. Some of these challenges included driving acrossa field and an obstacle course, in which each presenter hadto drive round the course and hit as many of the obstaclesas they could. Winner: Clarkson

4.15 Seeking petrolhead heaven in three£1500 rear-wheel drive coupes

Series Thirteen, Episode Five

With a budget of £1,500, Clarkson, May and Hammondhad to buy a rear wheel drive car. Clarkson bought a1991 Porsche 944, May bought a 1983 Ford Capri (butswitched to the 1977 Morris Marina backup car after theFord broke down) and Hammond bought a 1991 Nissan300ZX. They faced numerous challenges including try-ing to beat a 1-minute, 32.31 second lap time set by aRenault Twingo, and accelerating to 60 mph and thenbraking to 0 mph within 200 meters or risk destroyingsomething belonging to them. May ended up destroyinganother one of his pianos. As a finale, they participatedin an Andros Trophy ice race (which included F1 driverOlivier Panis) against heavily modified hatchbacks, ulti-mately being lapped several times (on one occasion, Panisreferred to the Marina as “a shitbox”). May emerged vic-torious in the Morris Marina, which had a piano droppedon it in the end. Winner: May

4.16 Buying a pre-1982 car for less than£3,000

Series Thirteen, Episode Six

Clarkson, May and Hammond were told to go to a carauction and buy any car for less than £3,000 that wasbuilt before 1982. Jeremy was poised to purchase aFord Cortina, but he wanted a convertible and bought a1969 Austin-Healey Sprite, although he accidentally usedsome of his money to buy it, as he bought it for £3,600.Richard “went ugly early” and bought the first lot, a 1953Lanchester LJ 200. James May was set to buy a Bristol,which went over his budget in bidding, and because therewas only one car after the Bristol he was forced to buy the

4.18 A track day car which is as good in the real world 13

last car of the auction—a 1977 blue Citroën Ami Estate.They were then told to go toMallorca for a rally, with twochallenges spread over two days. They were also giventheir co-drivers by the producers. Jeremy was given thehead of Balaeric Rallying Club, who spoke no English.Richard was assigned to Brian Wheeler, a sarcastic dwarfmechanic. James was given glamour model and Page 3girl Madison Welch.Upon arriving in Mallorca, the presenters were horrifiedto find out that they were almost two days late for therally, which was actually a five-day event, and thus had nochance of winning. They chose to bet £25 on whicheverone of them had the best score at the end of the rally.Clarkson’s malfunctioning gauges made calculating hisspeed difficult, James had to cope with Madison’s severelack of interest and navigating experience, and Richard’sLanchester proved incredibly unreliable, breaking downseveral times per stage and overheating constantly. WhileClarkson was in the lead heading into the final day, Mayposted themost consistent lap times at the regularity trackday and inched out Clarkson in the final challenge. Afterthe challenge it was revealed that all three presenters likedtheir chosen cars so much they had bought them from theBBC.Winner: May

4.17 Bolivia Special

Series Fourteen, Episode Six

See also: Top Gear: Bolivia Special

The three presenters traveled 1,000 miles through therainforests of Bolivia to the Pacific coast of Chile. Theyused pre-owned off-road vehicles, bought locally in Bo-livia for less than £3,500 each. Hammond bought a tanToyota Land Cruiser, which had been converted into asoft top convertible by a previous owner. Despite the car’sreputation for durability, it turned out to be the most un-reliable car, suffering multiple drivetrain and suspensionbreakdowns right from the start. It was damaged beyondrepair on the sand-dune descent. Hammond nicknamedhis Land Cruiser “Donkey.” Clarkson bought a red RangeRover, which he believed had a 3.9-litre fuel-injected en-gine. However, when he showed his co-presenters un-der the bonnet, May noted it had carburettors, makingit the 3.5-litre model. Overall Clarkson’s Range Roverturned out to be the most reliable, despite the car’s rep-utation otherwise. May bought a red (although "..in theadvert it was blue...”) Suzuki Samurai with a 1.3-litre en-gine, which was the smallest of the three vehicles. De-spite this, May made no modifications, and it had theleast breakdowns. One disadvantage of the Suzuki was itsopen differentials, which made it “3-wheel drive” Win-ner: Clarkson

4.18 A track day car which is as good in thereal world

Series Fifteen, Episode Two

The three were given a budget of £5,000 to buy a 4-doorsaloon that would be as good in the real world as it wouldbe on a track day. The challenge was carried out in Ger-many. May bought a 1985 Mercedes-Benz 190E 2.3-16vCosworth, Hammond a 1996 E36 BMWM3, and Clark-son a 1989 Ford Sierra Sapphire RS Cosworth. Chal-lenges included determining their cars’ top speed on anunregulated autobahn, interior space (by carrying a Ger-man Oompah band), and an ADAC evaluation of thecars. The BMW initially performed well until it camelast in the evaluation test, revealing badly repaired acci-dent damage. Finally, the presenters went to a circuit,where the cars were lapped by the Stig’s German cousin.In the studio there were the results of two more unbroad-cast challenges: points for each viewing of a track dayvideo uploaded to YouTube, and an economy run.[8] Thelast test was based on price - each pound under the budgetreceived one point - meaning that the £4,999 Sierra andthe £3,990 M3 lost to the £2,990 190E.Winner: May

4.19 Campervan challenge

Series Fifteen, Episode Four

Bemoaning the fact that campervans are either the hugeAmerican style motor homes unsuitable for Europeanroads or the tiny and cramped European models, the pre-senters were challenged to construct inexpensive camper-vans that would be comfortable to sleep in yet manageableon narrow twisting European roads. They had to have asleeping area, a toilet and a cooking area. Clarkson con-structed a three story Bauhaus inspired campervan on a1988 Citroën CX chassis. May attached a roofbox with asleeping bag on top of a 1987 Lotus Excel and Hammondconstructed a collapsible cottage on the back of a 1984Land Rover 110. Clarkson found his Citroën difficult todrive and nearly toppled over several times. May’s Lotuswas cramped and Hammond’s design was cumbersomeand impractical. Challenges included driving to a campground in Polzeath, Cornwall, changing into a wet suit in-side the campervan, sleeping, “going to the bog" in theircampervans, and cooking a meal. During the meal chal-lenge, Richard set fire to his cottage. Later, the three tooka trip to a beauty spot in Hartland in North Devon whereHammond and May “accidentally” rolled Jeremy’s Cit-roën over a cliff. Back in the studio, Clarkson protestedbut all three presenters reluctantly came to the conclu-sion that although James had the least amount of prob-lems with his campervan (the only one being space), allof their designs were rubbish. No winner

14 4 CHEAP CARS

4.20 British Sports Car challenge

Series Fifteen, Episode Six

The boys attempt to prove that old British sports carsnever deserved to be killed off by the hot hatch. Jeremybuys a 1974 Jensen-Healey, James buys a 1989 TVR S2and Richard buys a 1994 Lotus M100 Elan. The tripinvolved going to the places where all their cars were“born”, beginning at the Lotus factory in Norfolk, thenonto the Jensen factory in West Bromwich, before finish-ing at the TVR factory in Blackpool. There was no win-ner, as the team said that all of their cars were the best.All winners

4.21 Middle East Special

Series Sixteen, Episode Zero-Two[9]

See also: Top Gear: Middle East Special

The three were given £3,500 to buy a 2-door convertiblesports car, find their way to the birthplace of Jesus, andprovide Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh as per the ThreeWise Men. Hammond bought a 2000 Fiat Barchetta,Clarkson bought a 2000 Mazda MX5 and James cheatedand bought a 1998 BMWZ3 over budget for £3,966. Thestarting point was Iraq - which the three were unaware ofuntil they landed. They were given flak jackets and hel-mets to get to their location. There was also at least onearmed guard travelling with the group.As has happened on previous challenges, a spare car wasprovided by the producers should any of the cars criti-cally break down. In this case it was an Opel Astra 1.6convertible - a car loathed by all three presenters.During the challenge, May had a concussion in the mid-dle of the desert, resulting in a trip to hospital. He wasdischarged later in the episode and continued the journey.Upon reaching their final hotel, the three set out to buygifts: Hammond bought a gold necklace of Jesus’s face,May bought a bottle of Frankincense — in fact, a bot-tle of hotel shampoo — and Clarkson was unable to findany Myrrh, so bought a Nintendo DS. After following astar they were led to a stable containing shepherds (whoapparently arrived on quad bikes,) Mary & Joseph (al-though not identified as such,) and a manger. They pre-sented their gifts, and asked to see the child, which wasrevealed to be a baby Stig.Hammond’s Fiat was voted the best by both Clarkson andMay, to Hammond’s obvious surprise. Winner: Ham-mond

4.22 Four seater convertibles for less than£2000 (that all turned out to be BMW325i’s) challenge

Series Sixteen, Episode Four

The three were given £2,000 to buy a four-seater con-vertible car. However, they all buy the same car: a BMW325i. Hammond bought a 1987 model for £1,600 whichhad done 94,318 miles according to the odometer, andhad aftermarket wheels, aftermarket alarm, a lower sus-pension and extra locks fitted. Clarkson bought a 1988model for £1,950 which had done 137,488 miles and hada paving slab in the boot (to improve handling) and Maya 1989 model for £1,900 with no modifications. Clark-son decided to turn the challenge into a test to see howdifferent the three supposedly identical cars had becomeover time, so the trio ignored the producers’ challengesand devised their own.First there was a drag race which Hammond was unableto take part in as his car broke down due to the alarm (forwhich he was deducted 1,000 points): accelerate to 100mph then stop again. May won comfortably as his carproved to be in better mechanical condition than Clark-son’s. This led to Clarkson claiming that speed is not ev-erything and May disagreeing, in stark contrast to theirusual opinions. Next the cars were examined by a foren-sics team to test the condition of their interior. Clark-son’s car contained crisps, leaves, and his own dried skin,which he claimed was not disgusting at all and lost nopoints. May’s car was in worse condition with nasal mu-cus, scabs and saliva costing him 30 points. Hammondagain fared the worst with saliva, blood and pubic hairs,losing 30 points and, worst of all, feces losing another1,000 points. Next, thieves attempted to steal all threecars: Clarkson and May’s cars were still there after 20minutes, but Hammond’s was stolen almost immediatelylosing him yet another 1,000 points.The trio were then required to lap the Top Gear TestTrack in their cars, trying to match the Stig’s time done ina modern BMW 325i. Clarkson recorded the fastest timedespite blowing his engine, followed by Hammond withMay slowest. After that, the three cars were filled withhelium and the presenters were required to sit in themto test for leaks. Clarkson and May’s voices went highand squeaky due to the gas, but Hammond’s did not as ithad leaked out, once again leading to a 1,000 point de-duction. The cars were then inspected to determine howmuch money was needed to restore them to showroomcondition. May’s required £5,500, Hammond’s £7,500and Clarkson’s £11,000. Finally the presenters decidedto form a stunt driving team in front of a live audienceat the Essex County Fair (this did not count towards thepoints challenge), they all collided almost immediately.When the points were tallied up, May won easily dueto his car being in the best condition so having thelowest restoration cost. Clarkson narrowly beat Ham-

4.25 Rallycross with less investment than golfing 15

mond to second place as his far higher restoration costwas marginally outweighed by Hammond’s numerousthousand-point deductions. This led Clarkson to con-clude two things: “all identical cars aren't necessarilyidentical” and “Richard Hammond, who buys more usedcars than any man alive, is useless at buying used cars.”Winner: May

4.23 Best Hot Hatchback for doing variousthings in

Series Seventeen, Episode Two

In order to determine which hot hatchback was the best,the trio were told to bring one to the Italian city of Lucca.Clarkson brought a Citroën DS3 Racing, May a 2010Renaultsport Clio Cup and Hammond a 2011 Fiat 500Abarth, which the other two claimed was neither hot nora hatchback. The first challenge was simply to drive outof Lucca, which proved extremely difficult due to the nar-row maze of one-way streets with no signposts. Clarksongot out first, followed by Hammond (who had abandonedhis car to find the way out on foot), while May ended upstuck on top of the city wall.Next, they had to drive to Canelli picking up seven itemson the way: a branch of a cedar tree, ice cubes, a photoof as many people as possible getting into their car, a CDfrom a service station (without leaving their car), a bicy-cle, a vine and a dog. Hammond completed the scavengerhunt first, but with a toy dog instead of a real one, thebranch of a larch instead of a cedar, and no CD. Clark-son was next, with all the items correct. May was lastagain and his ice cubes had melted. May got 12 people inhis photo, Clarkson 13 and Hammond got 14 by openingthe sunroof and having them stand up with their headssticking out.Finally, the presenters had to drive a lap of the Circuit deMonaco during the Monaco Grand Prix weekend in theirhot hatchbacks. Clarkson posted the fastest time, fol-lowed by Hammond with May slowest. When the pointswere totalled up, Clarkson was the clear winner, followedby May, while Hammond had all his points taken awayfor abandoning his car in Lucca, failing to get three ofthe items properly, taking his photo with the people notfully inside the car and turning up with a car which wasn'ta hatchback. Winner: Clarkson

4.24 India Special

Series Seventeen, Episode Seven

The three were given £7,000 to buy a reliable Britishclassic car and use them on the streets of India. Jeremybought a 1995 Jaguar XJS 4.0 Celebration Edition, Jamesbought a 1976 Rolls-Royce Silver Shadow and Ham-mond bought a 2000 Mini 1.3L. As in previous chal-lenges, a backup car was also present, a 1979 Austin

Allegro. Challenges included bringing Western-themedgoods with their cars and building a stall to promote them,A mountain rally and modifying their cars to be betterable to tackle the dangerous mountain roads. No de-clared winner

4.25 Rallycross with less investment thangolfing

Series Eighteen, Episode Seven

The three criticise the sheer amount of money peoplehave to spend just to play golf, and they claimed that youcan invest less money in car racing, or in this case, ral-lycross. To prove this, each of the presenters must finda cheap, race-worthy car and modify it so it can be race-ready. Clarkson bought a BMW 328i, Hammond boughta Citroen Saxo 1.6 VTS, and May bought a Toyota MR2.Hammond was the most successful of the three, finishingthird in two heats and coming second in the final, aheadof Clarkson. Meanwhile, May was the least successful,finishing last in two heats and third in the “loser’s final”.The trio then conclude that you can go motor racing withless investment than golfing (all the cars, including racemodifications, costs less than £2000, whereas golf costsmore than that). Winner: Hammond

4.26 Finding the source of the river Nile

Series Nineteen, Episode Six and Seven

The three were given a budget of £1,500 to buy a sec-ond hand estate car in Britain which they would thenbe using to find the source of the River Nile in Africa.Jeremy bought a 1999 BMW 528i, James a 1996 Volvo850 R and Hammond a 2002 Subaru ImprezaWRX. TheBackup car was a 1998 Ford Scorpio,a car loathed by thethree of them. The starting point was a small town inUganda. After traveling to Lake Victoria, which manypeople think is the source of the River Nile, the boysnoticed, that Lake Victoria is fed by several rivers thatcome from different locations. After a look on the map,the three found some other lakes further south whichcould be the source of the Nile. So they started theirlong drive south. After sleeping in a really poor ho-tel the boys decided to convert their cars into “mobilehomes”. Hammond installed a little kitchen, Jeremy acooling box full of beer, and a toilet on the outside of hiscar, and James a little garage complete with tools. Allof them also installed some sort of bed. After a longdrive through Africa, which showed that Hammondmadea clever choice with his all wheel drive Subaru in view ofall those dirt tracks, and several “modifications” (the guyswere stealing bits from each other’s cars to modify theirown car) the boys were getting closer. Whilst driving oversome rough dirt tracks the cars suffered a lot. There wereseveral punctures and Hammond broke his wishbone onthe passengers side. During the night, he was able to fix

16 4 CHEAP CARS

it so they could finish their journey together. But theProducers then told them, that only one could find the“Source of the river Nile” and so only one could find hisname in the history books. This meant a final race be-tween the three. Even though Hammond was making thebest progress on the rough roads and dirt tracks thanks tohis AWD Subaru, May was the first to find the true sourceof the river Nile which made him the winner. Winner:May and two other blokes

4.27 Proving that hot hatchbacks fromtheir youth are better than their mod-ern equivalents

Season Twenty-One, Episode One

They were sent out to buy any hot hatchback fromtheir youth - specifically the 1980s. Clarkson boughta Volkswagen Golf GTi, May bought a Ford XR2iand Hammond bought a Vauxhall Nova SRi. Chal-lenges faced included a hill climb (during the returntrip, Hammond crashed his Nova, setting up a runningjoke throughout the challenge,) a “supermarket sweep”gymkhana event through a closed supermarket, (withHammond again finishing on his side), and a drag race, inwhich Hammond critically damaged his car’s engine afteraccidentally changing from second gear into first insteadof third. The last challenge involved the cars being chasedby the “TGPD” (TopGear Police Department) to see howlong they could evade pursuit. Hammond was caught in-stantly due to his damaged engine, while both Clarksonand May had their cars destroyed after long drawn outpursuits. In the end the presenters decided that as all theircars had won an individual event, all three were the win-ners. All winners

4.28 Homemade ambulance challenge

Season Twenty-Two, Episode Three

The men decide to improve ambulances. Initially, theymodify a P45 (Series 19, Episode 1) with a flashing bea-con and a gurney which attaches to a rear-mounted hitch,but this fails when the gurney jackknifes and ejects thepatient. The producers then instruct the presenters to “doit properly”, and each buy an alternative to the standardambulance used by the NHS (a Mercedes Sprinter), withtheir choices being tested in a series of challenges. For£5000, Hammond bought a customised Chevy G20 V8Van, which he lauded for its 5.7 litre V8 engine and itsbargain price (compared to the £150,000 cost of a stan-dard NHS ambulance). Clarkson bought a Porsche 944Turbo, with the idea that the patient could be stowedunder the all-glass hatchback; Hammond points out thatthe patient would bake in the tight, glass-enclosed space.May bought a hearse – a Ford Scorpio Cardinal – whichwas roundly mocked by the others, despite May pointing

out the potent Cosworth-designed V6 engine and tractioncontrol. Winner: Hammond

4.29 Find a cheap car that still lives up tothe title of classic

Season Twenty-Two, Episode Eight

Due to rocketing classic car prices, a Jaguar E-Typeis worth £200,000, whereas a Ferrari Daytona isworth £700,000, and an Aston Martin DB5 is worth£1,000,000. The trio are told to buy affordable classicsand report with them to an old railway station in Bucking-hamshire. There, they are told they must live like classiccar enthusiasts. Hammond arrives first in an MGB GT, acar that he believes is the most iconic British sports car.Clarkson arrives next in a Fiat 124 Spider which he ad-mits is incredibly pretty but describes that it will go wrongall the time like all classic cars. Finally, May arrives in aPeugeot 304 S Cabriolet which arrives broken down. Af-ter starting May’s car, the trio set off on classic car drivein rainy weather. Although Hammond’s MG suffers noproblems, Clarkson hates his Fiat due to it having Amer-ican specifications (such as 5-mph bumpers, raised rideheight, and oversized aftermarket wheels), which makesit difficult to drive. Although May is positive about hisPeugeot, he continues to suffer more breakdowns. WhileHammond is initially positive, he and Clarkson eventu-ally get fed up with May’s continuous breakdowns andleave him behind. Season Twenty Two, Episode Eightis unusual in that it had two cheap-car challenges, “Finda cheap car that still lives up to the title of classic” and“Cheap SUV challenge”.

4.30 Cheap SUV challenge

Season Twenty-Two, Episode Eight

In response to the growing numbers of lifestyle SUVs,they were asked to buy a lifestyle SUV with a maximumbudget of £250. May was the first to arrive in a little Mit-subishi Shogun Pinin which he bought for just £150, fol-lowed by Hammond in a Jeep Cherokee which he boughtfor £250, and then Clarkson in a Vauxhall Frontera SportRS which he bought for just £140. Challenges include asnow slope climbing test (where Hammond failed to en-gage his 4WD), a game of tag with caravans hitched totheir cars and featuring “Leisure Stig” in a Kia Sportage,a 0-60 acceleration and braking test at a muddy testarea with “Leisure Stig” setting the benchmark in a KiaSportage (where James made his way to a muddy pond atthe end of the track), modifying their own cars to suit thelifestyle theme better and doing some “leisure activity” ata nearby pond, rolling their cars down a steep cliff to testthe car’s robustness and safety, and to wrap it up, a five-mile-long off-road race from a Yorkshire grouse moor toa conference and dinner held at Yorkshire’s BroughtonHall, where the last to arrive had to do an after-dinner

17

speech. During the race, James was initially left far be-hind, but caught up later due to him managed to founda farm track that enabled him to overtake Clarkson andHammond, who were bogged down. Hammond eventu-ally freed himself from the mud, and Clarkson, upset fornot being able to climb a small crest after fording a smallriver, had to cut the Frontera in half. Eventually, Ham-mond had to deliver the after dinner speech, which didn'tplease the crowds, marking their final appearance. Sea-son Twenty Two, Episode Eight is unusual in that it hadtwo cheap-car challenges, “Find a cheap car that still livesup to the title of classic” and “Cheap SUV challenge”.

5 Notes

[1] After the show, Clarkson and May insisted that their owncars were best; Clarkson said the Toybota was best be-cause it would have reached the finish if it didn't roll overat the last moment in a good time, but James hit back,saying that it wasn't a race, and the Toybota rolled overanyway.

[2] He had been required to shorten it to complywith themax-imum length of an unarticulated car allowed on a Britishroad, and subsequently the join in the middle made out ofmasking tape failed.

[3] Clarkson: “We proved that you can't buy a Porsche for£1,500.”Hammond:"Well, not one that you can actually drive, any-way.”

[4] On points, May narrowly beat Hammond in the challenge,but Clarkson then attempted to claim victory by pointingout the Starion had been superior until the endurance race.May &Hammond acknowledged this, saying that the onlyproblem with the Starion had been Clarkson’s modifica-tions. So they offered Clarkson the win if he admittedthat, 'you're a clot and you ruined your car', which he did.

[5] During the results, Hammond claimed that Clarkson got98 points (if he had 100 he would win the challenge), andeating the paper saying Clarkson had “98 points,” suggest-ing Hammond was hiding something. Clarkson claimed“Since I am not prepared to go through your stools in themorning, we have to conclude that the best car for theBritish police is a Suzuki Vitara with a doormat on thefront.”

6 References

[1] “Series Two, Episode Four”. Top Gear. Series 2. Episode4. 1 June 2003.

[2] “BBC stumps up for tree stunt”. BBC. 2004-02-21. Re-trieved 2006-01-09.

[3] “ScooterMan”. www.scooterman.co.uk. Retrieved 2008-01-26.

[4] "Series Eleven, Episode Six". Top Gear. Series 11.Episode 6. 2008-07-27. BBC Two. James May: AlanPartridge once said that Lexus is Japan’s Mercedes-Benz,in which case theMitsuoka Galue could be, but this is onlya hunch, Japan’s Rolls-Royce.

[5] Topper, James (3 August 2007). “BBC admit Top Gearcaravan blaze was a fake”. Daily Mail Online. Retrieved23 August 2010. The BBC said that viewers would nothave been misled as it was obvious that the sequence was“slapstick” with a “sitcom ending”.

[6] Bellicoso, Louise (2007-02-15). “Amazing space launchfor ...Delboy’s motor!". Buxton Advertiser. Retrieved2007-02-21. While the show alludes to a 12-day build,in reality, it took over 4 months to build the final product.

[7] http://www.topgear.com/uk/tv-show/series-10/episode-7

[8] Exclusive - the video you didn't see on last week’s show.

[9] List of Top Gear episodes#Series 16.282010.E2.80.9311.29

18 7 TEXT AND IMAGE SOURCES, CONTRIBUTORS, AND LICENSES

7 Text and image sources, contributors, and licenses

7.1 Text• Top Gear challenges Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Top_Gear_challenges?oldid=679701820 Contributors: Rjstott, Owain, Chow-bok, DaveJB, Sladen, Halsteadk, Erik, Piggen, Stemonitis, HolgerDK, Woohookitty, RHaworth, BillC, Tabletop, GraemeLeggett, Man-darax, Rjwilmsi, Aveekbh, Quicksilvre, Flapjackboy, RussBot, Hydrargyrum, Ttam, The-, SmackBot, Onebravemonkey, StaticSan, Peter-Symonds, Gilliam, Chris the speller, Letdorf, Colonies Chris, RuthlessOne, Leftism, Halmyre, AlexJ, The PIPE, SamBlob, Spinolio, John,G.Freeman, Chris 42, Iridescent, 293.xx.xxx.xx, Dragonboy, CmdrObot, Porterjoh, Mattbr, A. Exeunt, Mattbuck, T Houdijk, TJDW,Tailkinker, Nick Number, JRRobinson, Shokuwarrior, Yoosq, Leuko, Bakilas, El Greco, Dp76764, Kel.jackson, Keith D, Akwirente,R'n'B, CommonsDelinker, Nono64, Pr0grammer1, Sayantan.z28, GCFreak2, Vranak, Bartfat, Luigi6138, GTHO, Rebel shadow, Min-imac93, PGWG, Barked, Gaeaman787, Ligtymn, Jimbo online, Stonejag, Agadez, Xrateddan, Manway, Mildertduck, Markystobart21,Niceguyedc, Dazzafar, Nardusg, John Nevard, Arjayay, Iohannes Animosus, Wprlh, Chaparral2J, Mr Larrington, Zeberwood, Meesterlars,Metagraph, Shorty23sin, The C of E, Sf07, Aktsu, Dennisman, Tide rolls, Lightbot, Ettrig, Yobot, Allemandtando, Fraggle81, Cart-men744, QueenCake, 1exec1, Jeni, Materialscientist, On Business, CorrectlyContentious, LilHelpa, Topgearon2, Jcbolton1, Sketchmoose,Cureden, Ytfc23, Bonobo4, Srich32977, Xeonith, Vader592, Ajpralston1, Alexwlchan, Shadowjams, Chaheel Riens, FrescoBot, Burbabull,I dream of horses, Peroxwhy2gen, ATJS144, Blueteamguy, Orenburg1, Sznax, PabstWT, January, Racerr, Aw16, Xneb, Audio CD, Salviogiuliano, Hrjohnson10, BillyPreset, Dewritech, MrPew17, H3llBot, FinalRapture, Rcsprinter123, Macwhiz, Socialservice, Davey2010,ClueBot NG, Derfel73, A520, Kikichugirl, Crazyturbo76, Marechal Ney, Antiqueight, BG19bot, Michael Barera, Callumframe1990, Ians-Mind, Tonyxc600, KanuZeyu, Mogism, Lugia2453, TumnusGL2814, Epicgenius, Grebsky, Vanished user jp3oilqwdjlk4t, Seanthorne,Adamxp12, Moylesy98, Antwerp87, Bmw325 num99, Timandbobby and Anonymous: 542

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