the pulse - vol. 8, issue 10

FREE • NEWS, VIEWS, MUSIC, FILM, ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT • MARCH 10, 2011 • VOLUME 8, ISSUE 10 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

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ContentsMARCH

201110

PULSE BEATS 4ON THE BEAT 9

LIFE IN THE NOOG 19DINING OUT 25

ASK A MEXICAN 30VOLUME 8, ISSUE 10 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

“Folks really better not be persuaded to try this stuff

at home. There are real risks involved. ”

— Michael Crumb explaining the dangers, and appeal of the Subterranean Circus.

21

“I thought of times on calls with the youngest ones, who just want to be held in such a way that they

can stand on my gun belt.” — Alex Teach, on how children sadly grow up to be statistics...or worse.

9

“If you can truly communicate to them, you can give them feelings beyond

words and they will come back time and time again. ”

— Ben Friberg on the effect jazz can have on an audience.

10


President Jim Brewer, II

Publisher Zachary Cooper

Contributing Editor Janis Hashe

News Editor Gary Poole

Director of Sales Rhonda Rollins

Advertising Sales Jaye Brewer, Rick Leavell

Michelle Pih

Calendar Editors Bryanna Burns, Josh Lang

Graphic Design Jennifer Grelier

Pulse ContributorsGustavo Arellano, Rob Brezsny

Dave Castaneda, Chuck Crowder Michael Crumb, John DeVore

Ben Friberg, Janis HasheJoshua Hurley, Matt Jones

D.E. Langley, Kelly Lockhart Ernie Paik, Alex Teach

Editorial CartoonistRick Baldwin

Contact Info: Phone (423) 265-9494Fax (423) 266-2335

Email [email protected]

Calendar [email protected]

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The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on culture, the arts, entertainment and local news.

Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative

Pulse Beats

New Direction, New Vision At The Hunter

NEWS “The central office is not top-heavy. I have been here five years and we

have cut several million dollars out of our central office operations.”

— Hamilton County School Superintendant Dr. Jim Scales on claims the central office is “top-heavy”

and needs to be cut even further.

"Q"

The Hunter Museum of American Art has named Daniel E. Stetson its new director. He will begin work at the Hunter in late spring.

“I am pleased to be taking on this new position with the Hunter Museum of American Art and look forward to building an exciting future with this world-class museum,” Stetson said. “My genuine love of American art and the Hunter’s magnificent collection, the wonderful staff, marvelous buildings and dedi-cated board make this an ideal match. I look forward to exploring and getting to know the Chattanooga community.”

Stetson comes to the Hunter Museum from the Polk Museum of Art in Lakeland, Fla., where he served as executive director for nearly 15 years. He succeeds Robert A. Kret, who left in late 2009 after nine years.

“Daniel brings great enthusiasm and a wealth of experience,” said Norma P. Mills, chair of the Hunter Museum Board of Trustees. “I am certain the Hunter Museum and the community of Chattanooga will benefit greatly from his leadership and vision.”

Stetson joined Polk Museum of Art in September 1996, making him the museum’s longest-serving executive director. Under his leadership, the Polk Museum’s an-nual budget doubled and the value of the art collection more than doubled. He led the museum through the national reaccredita-tion process twice; worked to have the Polk named an Affiliate of the Smithsonian Institution; and spearheaded a successful capital campaign, which exceeded the $3.7 million goal.

He oversaw development and presentation of more than 250 exhibitions, and helped start the “Florida Outdoor Sculpture Competition,” now in its 11th year. Last fall, he initiated the cre-ation of “MayfaireFlorida: Festival of the Arts,” a countywide arts festival. Under his leadership, the museum received the Central Florida Development Council’s Dick Pope Award in 2008 and the Downtown Lakeland Partnership’s Golden Swan Award in 2003.

Stetson is a native of Oneida, NY, and holds a bachelor’s degree in art history from SUNY Pots-dam and a master of fine arts from Syracuse Uni-versity. We here at The Pulse welcome him to Chat-tanooga and to the Hunter Museum.

• The Hamilton County School Board is wrestling with a $7 million shortfall in their expected revenue for the coming school year. They were expecting $6 million in PILOT funds to be used to make ends meet. But the county com-mission has told the members that the money should be used for building new schools to handle a growing student population. One option being consid-ered is cutting central office positions. But Superintendant Dr. Jim Scales says that would only account for around $300,000 dollars. Scales has hinted that three schools may be shut down by next school year, but won’t name them.

• Celebrating its 10-year anniversary as a local hot spot for tourists and locals alike, the Chattanooga Market is geared up for another successful season with a full events calendar and overabundance of vendors. Kicking off with an early opening for the season is Chattanooga River Market on Saturday, March 19. Opening day for the original Sunday Market is May 1. Continuing the tradi-tion, live music will highlight the EPB stage every Sunday, featuring popular local artists as well as many from afar. As always, the Chattanooga Market is a free event offering patrons a day of fel-lowship, entertainment and an opportu-nity to support their local economy.


Whatever happened to “Take two aspirin and call me in the morning” when calling a doctor about something that hurts? Ap-parently at least one doctor was in favor of something a bit stronger…and maybe even a bit more profitable. A Cleveland doctor was arrested last week at his North Georgia clinic and charged with multiple counts of prescribing hydrocodone illegally. Catoosa County Sheriff Phil Summers said the doc-tor was arrested after an investigation into an unusual number of prescriptions for the pain medication being written by the wayward medicine man. The clinic will remain closed until the out-come of the investigation.

Every police offi-cer has one of those calls where they have to wonder why they were even bothered in the first place. Case in point: officers were called to a Greendale Way residence on the re-port of a stolen cell phone.

It turned out that a 15-year-old girl was accusing her 14-year-old brother of steal-ing her phone while she was in the shower. When questioned, the brother not only de-nied the charge, but said his sister was the guilty party, having taken his phone the day before. The situation was resolved when the grandmother of the teens threatened to take both of their phones away, at which point the brother returned the missing phone to his sister.

Laptop computers are a popular item with thieves. However, as one 7th Avenue resi-dent pointed out to officers, there are now much easier ways to catch computer thieves. According to the police report, the woman had come home and surprised an intruder in

her house. She chased him out

of the house—but not be-

fore he had snatched

her lap-t o p

and cell phone. She was not as upset about it as one might expect, since she told officers the computer had GPS capability and would be easy to locate. No word on whether her high-tech sleuthing was successful, though.

The rules governing bars in the city are quite clear: They must close by 3 a.m., they can’t lock the doors if customers are inside, and they can’t have liquor on the premises if they don’t have a liquor license. It’s also just common sense that it’s never a good idea to allow patrons to fire up illicit substances. Yet that is just what an East 23rd Street bar own-er was accused of after a recent investigation by police. Officers on routine patrol noticed the bar appeared to be open after hours, and when they went to investigate, they found the doors locked and a strong smell of mari-juana coming from inside. To make matters worse, they weren’t allowed inside until they had knocked on doors and windows for about 20 minutes. Once they did enter, they found a large group of people, evidence of pot smoking, and several bottles of vodka in plain view. As a result, the Beer Board

handed down a number of suspensions and told the owner to keep much stricter tabs on his cus-tomers and employees.

A weekly roundup of the newsworthy, notable and often head-scratching stories gleaned from police reports from the Chattanooga Police Department, the Hamilton County Sheriff’s Office,

the Bradley County Sheriff’s Department and the Dalton Police Department.

Here is one of the agenda items to be discussed at the Tuesday, March 15

meeting of the Chattanooga City Council.

The Chattanooga City Council meets each Tuesday at 6 p.m. in the City Council Building at 1000 Lindsay St. For more information on the current agenda, and past minutes, visit www.Chattanooga.gov/City_Council

Politics & CrimeNEWS

5. Ordinances - Final Reading: a) An ordinance to amend Ordinance No. 12410, entitled “An ordinance, hereinafter also known as “the Fiscal Year 2010-2011 Budget Ordinance”, to provide revenue for the Fiscal Year beginning July 1, 2010, and ending June 30, 2011; appropriating same to the payment of expenses of the Municipal Government; fixing the rate of taxation on all taxable property in the City, and the time taxes and privileges are due, how they shall be paid, when they shall become delinquent; providing for interest and penalty on delin-quent taxes and privileges; and to amend Chattanooga City Code, Part II, Chapter 2, Section 2-267, relative to paid leave for active-duty training and to amend Chatta-nooga City Code, Part II, Chapter 31, Sec-tions 31-36, 31-37, 31-41, 31-43, 31-39, and 31-40,” to amend Section 31-36(a) pertain-ing to sewer rates.Considering the number of issues surrounding the budgetary process, we would not be sur-prised to see this ordinance get deferred–but just in case it does come to a vote, we’re sharing it here.


Animal RescueAs the owner of two rescued animals, I would like to commend The Pulse for covering such an important issue. It always saddens me to see puppy mill dogs for sale at outrageous prices in pet stores when there are so many other animals yearning for a good home available for very low adoption costs. And for those that, for whatever reason, feel they need a specific breed, both of my pets are pure-blooded. Rescue groups and the various shelters have plenty of “pure” breeds as well as the mixed mutts that may not have a pedigree but are just as happy to share your home and your life.Stacy Shaddrich

Juvenile Crime & PunishmentJuvenile crime stats down? In my opinion, that is largely because many of the “worst of the worst” juvenile offenders have been transferred to the adult criminal court system, for what that’s worth. Once out on bond and committing more crimes, their recent criminal activities are not considered “juvenile crime” now that they are in the adult system. They are now part of the adult criminal merry-go-round.Beth Ron

Speaking of the Coolidge Park/Bus Stop shooter…I found it interesting that right about the same time as the second incident, these

red-and-black billboards started showing up all over the state declaring that Gun Crime Means Hard Time, with humorous little phrases like “Hope you like prison food” on them. I had to laugh, just to keep from crying. I’m sure these “children” laugh too, but for different reasons. Offspring probably said it best. “Hey they don’t pay no mind / If you’re under 18 you won’t be doing any time / Hey come out and play.”Jeff Wormsley

Victim of the Military Empire?Depending on your view of the endless wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and America’s role in them, Pfc. Bradley E. Manning, the 23-year-old Army soldier who is accused of “aiding the enemy” by leaking classified military and diplomatic documents to the anti-secrecy website, Wikileaks, is either a courageous whistleblower or a traitorous snitch. However, there can be no doubt that Manning’s inhumane treatment by the U.S. government is intended to send a clear warning to all those who would challenge the military empire—“DON’T EVEN CONSIDER IT.” Sadly, we in America have conveniently forgotten that we once stood for something more than a warring military empire.John Whitehead

Ask A Mexican?What happened to “Ask A Mexican”? I look forward to reading his insights into Hispanic culture in America every week.James Cooper

Editor’s response: Unfortunately, we did not have space for Gustavo Arellano’s “Ask A Mexican” column in last week’s issue. However, all of his columns are available on our website at www.chattanoogapulse.com

Send all letters to the editor and questions to

[email protected]

We reserve the right to edit letters for content and space. Please include your full name,

city and contact information.

CommentaryNEWS


Ronald Blackmon Jr. was shot in the head on a recent Friday afternoon. He died the next day in time for his assailant’s murder charges to have the “Attempted” removed from them.

According to reports, he was shot in return for another shooting, and so 18-year-olds Edward Ryals Jr. and Demetrius Bibbs are sitting in jail awaiting trial over the no-doubt-egregious transgression for which Mr. Blackmon was punished, but here we are…the world minus three young men: One dead, two in jail.

I actually think about what they might have accomplished, as I freakishly do about all the young men and women I have seen dead at my feet during so many years gone by. Not necessarily the creator of a cure for cancer or the inventor of a new clean-burning fuel…but I can always hope for the invention of a candy better than Nerds (but good luck on that).

I turned away from Sheridan Avenue and reached up to my lips as if to remove a cigarette, but one hadn’t been there in years now…just as Mr. Blackmon never would walk that street again. Both he and the cigarette were ghosts now, ideas of things that once were and never would be again.

(Relax. Scenes like this are not that complicated; if they were no one could do The Job for more than a week or two, but…thoughts still go dark once in a while. Come to think of it, not going to dark places now and then is an even bigger worry, because it means either you don’t care anymore, or that darkness has consumed you. Now, back to our story.)

I closed my eyes against the retreating daylight, and for some reason began to think about kids. All of them.

Weird.I thought of times on calls with

the youngest ones, who just want to be held in such a way that they can stand on my gun belt and stabilize themselves just enough to play with my uniform shirt. An 8 month old would spend days there if they could (roughly 25 seconds to those familiar with the human baby attention span), standing on a double .45 magazine holster while he (or she) played with a brass name tag or shield, drooling absently onto the plastic composite

buckle that held the belt together. Keeping them distracted and happy was key, because when a cop is holding a baby on the job, it’s usually not a result of good news.

A 10 year old would ask my name (fully expecting an “Officer” before it), look wide-eyed into my own eyes as if they held the future….and hang on to every word, because they want to believe in us…that is, if their parents haven’t already ruined them by saying stupid shit like “See that man, that policeman will arrest you if you don’t do your homework!”, making us objects of fear instead of sources of help.

Ten year olds are good because they’re at that point in life where they’re seeing some pretty significant signs that there might not be a Santa Claus after all…but police officers, they’re tangible beings and don’t seem to be going anywhere anytime soon.

It’s the innocence, I guess. When kids hear sirens, their first instinct is not to run; it’s to see what’s going on. To see if they can help.

When they see a cop car, they don’t first think to slam

on the brakes; they look, literally hoping it will burst into light and sound as it moves to the next impediment of a Just Society: They WANT it to go forth, to work.

Regardless of age, I believe I just appreciate their innocence. And a return to innocence in any form is a welcome break when you’re standing in the aftermath of the last act of someone’s life.

These kids on Sheridan…I have worked there for years now. I probably saw them around the time they were learning to ride bikes, when they felt they were too old for the bus. And now they’re old enough to vote, buy smokes legally, join the service—and apparently murder someone.

I looked down to avoid the inconvenient pools of blood that so recently belonged inside Mr. Blackmon, and stared awhile longer as the coagulation would break now and then and begin moving down the vein of a nearby sidewalk as if pursuing new business on its own, and I was snapped out of it by a welcome (though potentially inappropriate) sound:

Children were laughing across the street, riding bicycles. And the beat goes on.

When Officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he is an occasional student, car-penter, boating enthusiast, and spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center. Follow him on Facebook at www.facebook.com/alex.teach

Lives Hanging in the Balance

Alex Teach

On The BeatOPINION

“I thought of times on calls with the youngest ones, who just want to be held

in such a way that they can stand on my gun belt and stabilize themselves just

enough to play with my uniform shirt.”


Jazz In ChattanoogaCOVER STORY

Springtime Downbeat: Jazz Juices Up Chattanooga

By Ben FribergEditor’s note: Chattanooga’s music scene continues to grow—and that in-

cludes that most American of all music forms—jazz. We asked local jazz guy Ben Friberg of the Ben Friberg Trio to give us the lowdown on what’s going on locally in the next few months. If you love jazz, don’t miss these chances to see world-class talent.

During the next couple of months, jazz fans will have four opportuni-ties to catch world-renowned jazz artists here in your hometown of Chat-tanooga.

That hasn’t happened in quite a while. A slew of young lions and greats alike will be visiting Barking Legs Theater and Roland Hayes Concert Hall at UTC. Whether you are a seasoned jazz listener or just like the “good” stuff, check these guys out and save yourself a plane ticket to the Big Apple.

The first opportunity will be on Friday, March 11, at 8 p.m. at Barking Legs with the Mara Rosenbloom Quartet. Mara is a stellar pianist who has a fresh New York sound, great tone, modern harmonic ideas, and rhythms the entire ensemble can latch onto and build from, thus creating that ensemble “synergy effect” jazz audiences love so much. Mara began her musical jour-ney in Madison, Wisconsin, before her tenure in NYC, where she studied music at NYU and gained praises from the likes of world-famous pianist and

jazz educator Ken-ny Werner. If Kenny likes your musical approach, then you are doing something right and have a very bright future.

The ensemble features Downbeat Magazine’s 2010 Rising Star, Darius Jones, on alto sax, Maeve Royce on bass, and Nick Anderson on drums. Mara’s web site at www.mararosenbloom.com has tracks from her recent debut album as a leader, School of Fish. Barking Legs’ recent addition of a 1916 Steinway grand piano will be a great vehicle to deliver the quartet’s sonorous sounds.

On Tuesday March 29, at 7:30 p.m., the San Francisco (SF) Jazz Col-lective will be performing in the Roland Hayes Concert Hall in the Fine

“A slew of young lions and greats alike will be visiting Barking Legs Theater and Roland Hayes Concert Hall at UTC.”


Arts Building on UTC's campus. The ensemble will be performing their ar-rangements of music of Stevie Wonder as well as their own original composi-tions. Instrumentation of the octet includes Edward Simon on piano, Eric Harland on drums, Matt Penman on bass, Stefon Harris on vibes, Miguel Ze-nón on alto sax, Mark Turner on tenor sax, Avishai Co-hen on trumpet, and Robin Eubanks on trombone. Unless you are familiar with the young lions of today's jazz scene, you may not have heard the names of these musicians, but believe me, they are among the leaders forging the jazz

frontier today. My personal favorite in this group is Mark Turner. His record-ings alongside guitarist Kurt Rosen-winkel have not left my listening play list in more than three years.

The approach this ensemble takes in selecting musical material is worth noting. Each year, they take one fa-mous musician and thoroughly explore their compositions. This year happens to be Stevie Wonder; in recent years it has been Ornette Coleman, Herbie

Hancock, Wayne Shorter, Thelonious Monk, John Coltrane, and Horace Sil-ver. Those last six names mentioned should give you some idea of the har-monic and rhythmic ideas infused in

the sounds when they perform on the selected Stevie Wonder compositions— probably soul-fully spectacular with lots of en-

ergy. Reviews for this ensemble from the New York Times, Jazz Times, and All About Jazz have been stellar.

On Saturday, April 15, a true modern day “Thelonious (T.S.) Monk” musician will be performing at Barking Legs. I say T.S. Monk because he is so unique,


We asked Ben Friberg about his own career in jazz.

The Pulse: How old were you when you got interested in jazz, and how did that hap-pen?

Ben Friberg: I started playing alto saxophone in fourth grade and switched to guitar in eighth. When I was 18, my parents took me to see a performance at the Blue Note in Greenwich Vil-lage, NYC, with Ray Brown and Stanley Turrentine. That performance, along with a Wes Montgomery CD my mom gave me, fueled my passion for studying the form.

TP: Who are your major influences and how do they con-tinue to resonate in your music?

BF: My first big influence was Wes Montgomery. His music was sophisticated, yet hip to all years and expressed so much joy! During the last three years, I’ve listened almost solely to Kurt Rosenwinkel. He is so inspiring! Last week, my wife and I went to NYC to see him perform and record at Small’s.

TP: How long has the current trio been playing together? BF: We’re going on four years. It’s been great—like college

all over again. There has been so much learning, and our time playing gigs in town together has given me so much time on the

instrument.TP: What would

you like to see happen with your group?

BF: We push hard, maturing and evolv-ing into something more polished and firm every week. Sure, I’d love for the trio to have the opportunity to play in some big jazz

festivals in years to come but, most importantly, I hope the ensemble members individually achieve what they originally envisioned when they embarked on their personal journey in music.

TP: Do you see the Chattanooga jazz scene growing; if so, how and why?

BF: I hope so, if not, we’re not doing our job. It’s our job to communicate to our audience. We play mainly in restaurants, so it is not uncommon for our audience to change with every performance. If you can truly communicate to them, you can give them feelings beyond words and they will come back time and time again. Demonstrating a certain mastery on an in-strument only keeps people’s attention for so long—the music must be honest.

Ben Friberg Interview: Jazz Is In The Blood

“His sounds have left critics puzzled about how to label him—anything from free jazz, post bop, hip hop, contemporary classical,

and electronica have been used.”



he simply sounds like no other musician, a rarity in jazz today. Pianist Matthew Shipp has achieved what most serious musicians spend a lifetime striving for, something different, something to call your own. His compositions often are not something you could capture on a traditional lead sheet; they are improvisations in the truest sense. Matthew possesses the ability to explore on a single spontaneous musical idea un-til every corner of rhythm and harmony has been addressed. All of his recordings I’ve listened to demonstrate this approach. Some musicians refer to it as “motif” de-velopment, meaning they take a simple idea and go with it—and they don’t stop, as the possibilities are endless. For the au-dience this approach to music is great be-cause they can’t get lost in “form” or tech-

nicalities. You can enjoy it even if you walk right in on the middle of a tune, almost like something by Debussy, Ravel or Satie.

Throughout his career he has recorded as leader or co-leader on more than 40 al-bums. His sounds have left critics puzzled about how to label him—anything from free jazz, post bop, hip hop, contemporary classical, and electronica have been used. Matthew will be giving a solo performance at Barking Legs and will surely test the lim-its of their recently added Steinway. He will also host a question and answer ses-sion following the performance. Q&As are great opportunity for aspiring musicians to learn from a master.

On Saturday, May 14, 8 p.m., a perfor-mance will take place with the Mark Bol-ing Trio alongside Gregory Tardy on tenor


sax. The Mark Boling Trio consists of members from the University of Tennessee School of Music Jazz Program in Knoxville, TN, including Rusty Holloway on bass, Keith Brown on drums and Mark Boling on guitar. Mark has recorded two albums with the Boling Brown Hol-loway Trio, Evidence and Tune Me. He has also written a couple of books geared toward the study of jazz and

he is the coordinator of the jazz program at UTK. These three musicians have performed together for nearly 30 years. Almost every serious jazz musician coming from the Chattanooga area over the last 15-20 years has had help from these three masters in sculpting their own craft.

Joining the trio on tenor sax will be Gregory Tardy. The addition of Tardy guarantees an ener-gy-packed evening. Tardy’s performances

are always high oc-tane and soulful, while demonstrat-ing jazz of the high-est caliber. When I was working at the Churchill Grounds Jazz Club in Atlanta, this artist performed one night, and after his perfor-mance I walked up and purchased four of his CDs as a leader and had them all signed. Certain moments in his solos build to the point that Coltrane was reach-

ing late in his career. I’m very familiar with Mark’s trio so it will be exciting to see them alongside such a pow-erhouse. If you haven’t heard these guys before, you must go see them.

All in all, it’s an exciting spring for jazz buffs in Chat-tanooga.


Catch Ben Friberg at the following weekly gigs: Tuesdays, 6:30 –8:30 p.m. at Table 2, 232 E. 11th St. (423) 756-8253: Ben Friberg on guitar, David Schwab on bass.Wednesdays, 7 –9 p.m. at Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260: Ben Friberg on guitar, David Schwab on bass, Matt Turnure on drums.Fridays, 6:30 – 9:30 p.m. at Table 2, 232 E. 11th St. (423) 756-8253: Ben Friberg on guitar, David Schwab on bass, Jim Crumble on drums.

“Almost every serious jazz musician coming from the Chattanooga area over the last 15-20 years has had help from these three masters in sculpting their own craft.”


Wouldn't it be nice if there were someone in town finally bringing in top-quality headliners in electronic dance music? A new crew in town called the KNOW Buddies is do-ing just that on March 19 at 412 Market with the first install-ment of their “Frequency” showcase. The event is described as bringing in the top producers from around the country paired with the best local and regional talent.

For the first installment, they are bringing in California producer J. Rabbit who has records released on Play Me Re-cords, Badman Press, and Trillbass Recordings. Also headlin-ing are regional heavyweights, Kakarot MC and Oreo, which is sure to make Frequency a night to remember.

J. Rabbit earned his rank as a prominent producer in the drum and bass scene during 2005, when he was accepted into the veteran Viticus Production crew. J. Rabbit then went on to form his own weekly drum and bass nights in the heart of New York City in Times Square from 2006 to 2007.

J. Rabbit’s popularity has risen over the years, and you can now catch him playing gigs all over the United States and Canada. He was recently in the spotlight via Diplo’s Mad De-cent records blog, and has now released a free mix tape with some of his best works on MadDecent.com.

J. Rabbit will be accompanied by Kakarot MC, hailing from Atlanta. Traditionally in the UK, drum and bass concerts will always have a rapper or MC host the night and rhyme over the DJ’s beats. About a month ago, I went down to Atlanta

to see Chattanooga pro-ducer DJ Bassel open up for drum and bass legend Goldie at The Masquer-ade. Kakarot MC just happened to be perform-ing and I was impressed by the amount of energy he brings to the stage. He takes any party and makes sure that the vol-ume is turned all the way up to 11. Kakarot ensures that the audience will remember what a good time they had.

Kakarot has been in-volved in the Atlanta drum and bass scene for

m o r e than five years. If you go to any drum and bass or dubstep show in Atlanta, it is very likely that Kakarot MC will have a part in the show. This artist has an extensive portfolio—he has been in such high demand for shows that he has rhymed over a plethora of A-list producers, including Chase & Status, Goldie, Adam F, DJ Fresh, Ed Rush & Optical, Bai-ley, Dieselboy, Noisia, Technical Itch, Black Sun Empire, The Upbeats, Concord Dawn, Spor, Aphrodite, Micky Finn, Calibre, Dara,

AK1200, Rusko, Caspa, Plastician, DZ and Stagga.If this isn’t enough to get you excited—Oreo from Knoxville

is a sure-fire way to get the night started right! Oreo is affili-ated with Tennessee EDM, an online community of produc-ers, promoters, and DJs, extending all the way from Knoxville to Nashville to Memphis to Chattanooga and back. The TN EDM crew is a tight network of kids that have been into the EDM scene for years. If you ever want to dig deeper into this genre. I would recommend a visit to their community.

Oreo has been mak-ing music since he was 16 and after a brief stint in the military he returned to San Antonio, Texas to start making music again. From there, he went on to play at Ultra Music Festival in Miami, and has played alongside a diverse group of acts, including Borgore, S3RL, Benni Benassi, Reid Speed, The Crystal Meth-od, Trillbass, Geno Co-chino, Charlie P, Excision, Downlink and Antiserum. He has since returned to Knoxville and has played in more than 36 US cities.

In addition to this large line up of great headliners never before seen in Chatta-nooga, you will also get to see great support from locals like DJ Drugmoney and Axis One, who both host the monthly Nightmoves electronic music nights. Also, opening the night are newcomers Bassdonors and Wiz Kid, bringing their own blend of sub-bass music.

The sound system for this event will be top of the line, with the JMJ Production crew bringing in a total of twelve 18-inch subs to pump out the lowest of the low-end frequency sounds. There will also be a light show that is sure to be an excellent complement to this line up of heavy bass champions. Be sure to check out Frequency on March 19—it will be a smash hit, bringing together some of the best from the region.

FeatureMUSIC

By Dave Castaneda, Pulse Music Writer

Adjust Your Frequency

“Wouldn't it be nice if someone in town was finally bringing in top-quality headliners in electronic dance music? A new crew in town called the KNOW Buddies is doing just that.”

Frequency with J. Rabbit, Kakarot MC and Oreo$1510 p.m.Saturday, March 19412 MRKT, 412 Market Street


Ernie Paik's CD ReviewsMUSIC

Arthur Russell and the Flying HeartsBallad of the Lights(Audika/Presspop)

AhleuchatistasLocation Location(Open Letter)

While the in-strumental group Ahleuchat istas from Asheville, North Carolina has reconfigured itself from a trio into a duo—a lineup unveiled a

year ago at the Big Ears Festival in Knoxville—it has actually evolved into a beast that is even more complex than before. Previous albums by Ahleuchatistas featured incredibly complicat-ed, often fast-paced compositions that merged a prog-rock intricacy, the fury of hardcore and the bite of downtown NYC avant-thrash-jazz. The outfit is still tight, ferocious and nuanced, but it has become more unpredictable and harder to classify, with more abstract passages and opportunities for improvisation, the use of sound loops and a greater variety of approach-es.

The group’s first full-length as a duo, entitled Location Location, has several tracks that will satisfy the initiated: numbers with precise, rap-id-fire guitar playing from Shane Perlowin and extremely agile drumming from Ryan Oslance. The finest of these is “Heraclitean,” previously released on a split 10-inch record and presented here in a five-minute abridged version; it builds to a mind-blowing, dizzying conclusion, possibly like Dick Dale covering “Flight of the Bumble-bee” with intense jungle drums. “Israel” is an-other highlight, with Perlowin providing some of the warmest, expressive soloing on the album atop a bed of stimulatingly nervous drumming. However, there seems to be a conscious effort on Location Location to be sonically diverse, with elements ranging from no wave jabs, E-bowed and echoing synth-esque manipulated guitar sounds, unsettling crackles and subtly pulsing tones that gradually turn into noise. The least characteristic track on Location Location is the appropriately named “Mistaken Identity,” a percussion-heavy number which seems to take a West African rhythmic influence, with guitar lines woven into the mix like threads. While previous releases took an aesthetic, employed it with striking results and pushed it to its bound-aries, the new chapter of Ahleuchatistas has an expansive spirit that promises to be even more fruitful than ever.

The record la-bel Audika has gradually un-furled releases from the bril-liant, late cellist/composer/sing-e r / s o n g w r i t e r Arthur Russell

at a measured pace since 2004. Knowing that there are hundreds of his unreleased record-ings in the vaults, this relative trickle might be frustrating for devoted fans of his work, but it’s hard to argue with the care and attention that each release gets, with impeccable selections grouped together sensibly, given Russell’s di-verse catalog. For example, First Thought Best Thought featured his avant-garde chamber-pop, Calling Out of Context leaned toward his electronic, more dance-oriented material, and Love Is Overtaking Me included his rare cowboy, folk, and pop songs. The latest Russell offer-ing from Audika, Ballad of the Lights, available as a limited edition 10-inch vinyl record and as a digital download, consists of two tracks with Beat Generation poet Allen Ginsberg, and al-though the title track was considered for inclu-sion on Love Is Overtaking Me, it makes sense to have the Ginsberg collaborations stand on their own.

Throughout “Ballad of the Lights,” Ginsberg recites a poem about a contemplative man, say-ing lines in his deep voice such as, “He sees the lights / He wonders if they are talking to each other / And he wonders if they are talking to him.” Recorded in 1977, the ballad’s music has two parts; the simple, yet effective first part uses just Russell’s cello and his voice, singing in a manner that’s simultaneously resolute and tender, and the second features his band The Flying Hearts, with reserved, easygoing, heart-felt pop with Russell switching to organ. “Pa-cific High Studio Mantras,” recorded in 1971, features Russell on cello, but it’s primarily a Ginsberg piece, as he (a practicing Buddhist) sings slow, sustained notes of an old Tibetan mantra and plays harmonium drones, with an accompanying chorus, flute and mandolin. The track doesn’t have compelling melodies like those heard in Russell’s other material and isn’t exactly endlessly replayable, but it’s a unique item in his catalog, for those who enjoy curiosi-ties.


ThursdayVinyl Night6 p.m. Pasha Coffee & Tea, 3914 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 475-5482. www.pashacoffeehouse.comJimmy Harris8 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.comSoul Survivor8 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. Open Mic Night8 p.m. The CampHouse, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081. www.thecamphouse.comMark Knight & Matt Abts, Drummer For Gov’t Mule And Co.9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.comDJ and Dancing9:30 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878. www.budssportsbar.com

Rick Rushing10 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.comLullwater, Bryan Hensley, Matt Campbell10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

FridayJohnny Cash Tribute Band5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo Victorian Lounge, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000. www.choochoo.comJimmy Harris8 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.comdAngEr k!tTy8 p.m. Southside Saloon & Bistro,1301 Chestnut St. (423) 757-4730. southsidesaloonandbistro.comMANIFEST V: Juxtapose8 p.m. The CampHouse, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081. www.thecamphouse.comMara Rosenbloom Quartet8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, (423) 624-5347. 1307 Dodds Ave. www.barkinglegs.orgTea Bumpass Band9 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com

Divine Jazz9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn). facebook.com/theofficechattBrian Collins9 p.m. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919. www.myspace.com/jimstrikerDJ and Dancing9 p.m. Spectators, 7804 E. Brainerd Rd. (423) 648- 6679.DJ and Dancing9 p.m. The Lounge at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. DJ and Dancing9 p.m. Bart’s Lakeshore, 5600 Lakeshore Dr. (423) 870-0777. This is Art, Play Low & Sonic Spank9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.comMachines Are People Too, Baby Baby, U.S. Royalty, Rene Breton10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. The Fried Chicken Trio10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878. www.budssportsbar.comThe Cadillac Saints10 p.m. T-Bones, 1419 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4240. www.tboneschattanooga.com

SaturdayJohnny Cash Tribute Band5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo Victorian Lounge, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000.

Mike Hulsey Band7 p.m. Ziggy’s Underground, 607 Cherokee Blvd. (423) 756-4786. www.myspace.com/ziggysundergroundmusicFoundation Band8 p.m. Fireside Grill, 3018 Cummings Hwy. (423) 821-9898.Mark Growden Trio plus Christie Burns8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, (423) 624-5347. 1307 Dodds Ave. www.barkinglegs.orgMose Giganticus, Oxxen, Subterranean Cirqus8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemiaCastlebay8 p.m. Charles & Myrtle’s Coffeehouse, 105 McBrien Rad. (423) 892-4960. www.christunity.org

Mark Knight and Matt AbtsWith special surprise guest.$159 p.m.Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St.(423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com

Machines Are People Too, Baby Baby, U.S.

Royalty, Rene BretonGreat bill headed by local

Machines.$7

10 p.m.JJ’s Bohemia,

231 E. MLK Blvd.(423) 266-1400.

myspace.com/jjsbohemia

Concert Calendar MUSIC

THURSDAY FRIDAY


Jimmy Harris8 p.m. The Coconut Room, The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. Wendall Cain8 p.m. Southside Saloon & Bistro, 1301 Chestnut St. (423) 757-4730. southsidesaloonandbistro.com.Muddy Mule8:30 p.m. McHale's Brewhouse, 724 Ashland Ter. (423) 877-2124.Brian Collins9 p.m. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919. www.myspace.com/jimstrikerTommy Davis9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn). facebook.com/theofficechattDJ 33 and Dancing9 p.m. Backstage (inside Holiday Bowl), 5518 Brainerd Rd. (423) 899-2695.DJ and Dancing9 p.m. Bart’s Lakeshore, 5600 Lakeshore Dr. (423) 870-0777.

DJ and Dancing9 p.m. The Lounge at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.comDonna Hopkins9 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.comFly By Radio10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.comSandy and Greg10 p.m. T-Bones, 1419 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4240. www.tboneschattanooga.comFried Chicken Trio10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878. www.budssportsbar.com

SundayTraditional Irish Music 3 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192. facebook.com/TheHonestPintOpen Mic with Jeff Daniels 4 p.m. Ms. Debbie’s Nightlife Lounge 4762 Highway 58, (423) 485-0966.myspace.com/debbiesloungeKaraoke with DJ Stoli9:30 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878. www.budssportsbar.comThe Fox Hunt, Whiskey Bent Valley Boys10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

MondayOld Tyme Players6 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (433) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.comRigoletto & Millennium Falconer7 p.m. Pasha Coffee & Tea, 3914 Saint Elmo Ave. (423) 475-5482. www.pashacoffeehouse.com Big Band Night8 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. Live DJ – Karaoke8 p.m. Bart’s Lakeshore, 5600 Lakeshore Dr. (423) 870-0777. www.bartslakeshore.comKaraoke with DJ Stoli9:30 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878. www.budssportsbar.com

TuesdayBen Friberg Trio6:30 p.m. Table 2, 232 E. 11th St. (423) 756-8253. www.table2restaurant.comCalifornia Guitar Trio8 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.comOpen Mic with Mike McDade9 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pike. (423) 266-1996. www.tremonttavern.comKaraoke with DJ Stoli9:30 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878. www.budssportsbar.com

WednesdayBen Friberg Trio7 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.comOpen Mic Night7 p.m. The CampHouse, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081. www.thecamphouse.comJimmy Harris8 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. 2-n-Fro8 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. DJ Spins – Karaoke Contest9 p.m. Bart’s Lakeshore, 5600 Lakeshore Dr. (423) 870-0777. www.bartslakeshore.comNathan Angelo with Brad Passons9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com

Concert Calendar MUSIC

Matt Growden Trio“Genre-busting” Bay Area Growden Trio along with local fave Burns.$108 p.m.Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave.(423) 624-5347. www.barkinglegs.org

The Fox Hunt, Whiskey Bent Valley

BoysAmericana/roots with West

Virginia’s Fox Hunt.$5

10 p.m.JJ’s Bohemia,

231 E. MLK Blvd.(423) 266-1400.

myspace.com/jjsbohemia

SATURDAY SUNDAY


Last week the ‘noog experienced weather of Biblical proportions as tornados touched down in all parts of the city—from East Brainerd to North Chatt. It was scary for just about everyone, whether you heeded the “warnings” and took appropriate precautions or not. Unfortunately I did not.

I don’t make it to the other side of town (East Brainerd area) that often. But when the mighty wrath of the storm conjured up the old margarine slogan, “It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature,” I was at the worst possible place on Earth one might choose to meet their maker: the Greyhound bus station on Airport Road.

I was there to pick up a package that had traveled from San Diego to Chattanooga the past two or three weeks. And since the bus station is only open when there’s actually a bus scheduled to depart or arrive, the witching hour of 2 p.m. on that dreaded Monday was one of the limited opportunities I had to secure the vintage webbed chaise lawn chair I’d lovingly won on eBay for my girlfriend’s Valentine’s Day gift.

Like any self-respecting individual, I’m not a fan of bus travel or bus stations, but when it comes to shipping oversized packages, the mighty Greyhound provides one of the most cost-effective options out there —as long as you don’t need the contents for a month or so.

Don’t let the name fool you. Greyhounds are one of the fastest breeds of dogs, but their motorized namesake is perhaps better likened to a turtle, or three-toed sloth. If you’ve ever had the chance to “let [them] do the driving,” then you know what I mean.

I once sold a car in Nashville and rode the bus back down to Chattanooga. That’s back when the bus station

was downtown, and a known hangout for bums, hookers, drug dealers and anyone else who wasn’t going ANYwhere. I had to wait at Nashville’s downtown station for an hour or so before departing, and the whole time I remember thinking my luggage and wallet might make it to other destinations before I ever boarded the “safety” of the bus.

About six hours later, after stopping in cities I didn’t even know existed along the route that crisscrossed Southeast

Tennessee, we arrived at the station formerly located on Chestnut Street. Upon arrival in my hometown, I fled the scene to more familiar surroundings faster than a greyhound (dog). I guess the scary nature of the station’s regular guests is what prompted the bus line to relocate to a new “state-of-the-art” facility out by the airport. And that’s where I found myself on doomsday.

When I arrived at the station, I did notice that the sky was growing darker. The ominous nature of the atmosphere had me believing that a storm’s a brewing. Waiting in line behind a few people, leaning my arm on the freshly duct-taped Formica countertop, I received a text that scared the hell out of me: “Gt outta thr fst a torndo is cming—NoW!”

I turned around and peered out of the wall of glass windows that make up the station’s façade to witness trees blowing over like bent straws and rain pelting the building so hard that I could barely hear the frustrated passenger in front of me say to the attendant when their credit card machine suddenly went down, “Well, sonny, if I had the

cash I wouldn’t be using a credit card now would I?” By the time I received my package, the rain had

suddenly stopped. So, I decided to get the box out to the car while I had the chance. But the sky hadn’t lightened up any, and that’s when I remembered that when a tornado passes through an area the rain will stop and things will seem calm—for the moment. So after shutting the car door, I ran back into the station. In fact, I didn’t just reenter hell, I double-timed it to the safest place hell had to offer—the windowless cinderblock bathroom.

Standing there, scared shiftless, trying to calm myself by deciphering the scribbled graffiti on the walls and mirrors, it occurred to me that I might die in possibly one of the worst places imaginable—the bathroom of the Greyhound station. In the immortal words of Charlie Sheen, “I tired of pretending that I’m not special.” I am. I can’t be HERE when this happens. I should be hunkered down in some basement with my loved ones when the roof rips off, not alone in a smelly transient latrine.

When it was all over, I couldn’t help thinking how lucky we all are for having weathered that storm safely. A fallen tree or power line might inconvenience us, but at least you’ll never have to say, “You remember him, he’s the guy who died in the bathroom of the bus station.”

Chuck Crowder is a local writer and general man about town. His opinions are just that. Everything expressed is loosely based on fact, and crap he hears people talking about. Take what you just read with a grain of salt, but pepper it in your thoughts. And be sure to check out his popular website at www.thenoog.com

From Greyhound To The Grave

Chuck Crowder

Life In The ‘NoogOPINION

“I didn’t just reenter hell, I double-timed it to the safest place hell had to offer—the windowless cinderblock bathroom.”


Across the table from me. Lazarus Z. Hellgate exudes radiance as he explains his vision of the upcoming expeditions of the Subterranean Circus. The first of these, “Wasteland”, will transform JJ’s Bohemia under the strange, dark skies of the year 2111. Audience members are encouraged to attend in costume reflecting an archeological fashion sense as denizens of the next century struggling to recover their history, lost to chaotic developments.

Hellgate warns that the government seeks the repression of circus and sideshows, but the Subterranean Circus will of-fer a broad palette of sensuous experiences, including side-show acts culled from discoveries made during the interven-ing decades of mad darkness.

The music will have a metallic accent, featuring Chatta-nooga’s fierce Oxxen, along with touring band Mose Gigan-ticus. To my knowledge, Mose Giganticus is the only band to have refused the frenzied cry from the crowd of, “One more song!”, having exhausted their entire repertoire during a long, rousing set.

Special guest act Chaotic Suspensions, also from Chatta-nooga, will do “hook pulls.” Leroy Lewis, the Irish Strong Man, will provoke with dangerous feats, and Pinkie the Princess of Pain will tease and rattle nerves. In fact, it has apparently been ascertained that Pinkie is the only woman in the world to accomplish one particular eye-popping feat.

Hellgate will also bring forth Handlebar Jones, the world’s oldest 12-year-old boy, and mad brother Jonathan, along with Viktor Pennygrimm and Andy Pyburn. Hellgate’s conjur-ings will include a new “mystery” burlesque girl. As he says, “If there’s something you don’t like, wait five minutes, it’ll

change.”Some may recall

when the Sadistic Scenic City Sideshow debuted on the club scene here in Chat-tanooga. The Subter-ranean Circus rep-resents a significant evolution with their presentation of fan-tastic environments. Although they may request a suspension of disbelief, the stunts are real and affective. The past “Dystopia” shows presented a breakthrough in club performance, featur-ing constant aural stimulation and very bizarre visual mon-tages, along with sideshow feats of endurance.

Another “Dystopia” show is upcoming on May 26, featur-ing music with an experimental art video wall. Hellgate prom-ises an “assault on all the senses at once,” including sideshow and performance art.

Hellgate’s mission with the Subterranean Circus seeks to embrace everything outside of the norm. Friday, May 13 will

bring “Wrestlehemia,” spotlighting a “cof-fin match” and bringing wrestling closer to its actual sideshow roots. Opposite Box will bring their high-energy funk rock to com-plement the bodily strain of wrestling and sideshow acts.

Two key concepts at the core of the Circus involve their varietal presentations, sometimes reminiscent of burlesque, and their deep focus on body science, knowing and showing what the body is capable of. Folks really better not be persuaded to try this stuff at home. There are real risks involved. On the other hand, anyone who is already accom-

plished in some weird performance act or art should seek an in-terview with Hellgate for possible inclusion in the Circus’s reper-toire.

Bring your attitude or skill into Hellgate’s presence. His where-abouts are often mys-terious. Hellgate has found himself char-acterized by a line in Milton’s Paradise Lost: “Hell within him so with him hell he brings.” Having arisen out of mythological poetry, his defeat of

the devil having cost him his soul, he remains obsessed with conjuring from audiences such intense emotional reactions that remind him that he still bears a shred of connection to human experience.

Hellgate will be participating in an upcoming “Sabbath” show at JJ’s. These Goth parties are a project of Tony Levi’s and feature industrial music, along with other dark spinnings, highlighted with strange visuals.

The Subterranean Circus also tours. They will be present at Frolicon in Atlanta, April 21-24. Also, watch for their upcom-ing web site at subterraneancircus.com. You may now enter “The Wasteland.”

FeatureARTS

By Michael Crumb, Pulse Arts Writer

Enter the Wasteland

“Hellgate’s mission with the Subterranean Circus seeks to embrace everything outside of the norm.” Subterranean Circus: “Wasteland”

$710 p.m.Saturday, March 12JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.(423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia


Arts & Events CalendarARTS

ThursdayOpening Reception: “Early Flight”5 p.m. Boyd Gallery, The McCallie School, 500 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-8300.Art + Issues: Immigration6 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (956) 459-8611 . www.huntermuseum.orgCatholic Charities Annual Dinner6:30 p.m. The Chattanoogan Hotel, 1201 Broad St. (423) 756-3400.In the Mood7 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5050. www.chattanooga.govRingling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus7 p.m. UTC McKenzie Arena, 720 East 4th St. (423) 266-6627. www.ringling.comMystery of the TV Talk Show7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. UTC Symphonic Band7:30 p.m. UTC Fine Arts Center Roland Hayes Hall, 725 Vine St. (423) 425-4601. www.utc.edu/musicThe Midnight Swinger8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233.

FridayTuba/Euphonium Conference8 a.m. UTC Fine Arts Center Roland Hayes Hall, 725 Vine St. (423) 425-4601. www.utc.edu/musicFull Moon Tattoo & Horror Festival2 p.m. Chattanooga Downtown Marriott Hotel, 2 Carter Plaza. www.fullmooninc.netSouthern Trophy Hunters’ Big Buck Expo3 p.m. Chattanooga Convention Center, 1150 Carter St. (423) 756-0001. www.southerntrophyhunters.com Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus7 p.m. UTC McKenzie Arena, 720 East 4th St. (423) 266-6627. www.ringling.comGhosts7:30 p.m. Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 1918 Union Ave. (423) 987-5141.A Year With Frog and Toad7:30 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.comThe Midnight Swinger7:30, 10 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.comManifest V: Juxtapose8 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081.Chattanooga Ghost Tour8:15 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 1 Walnut St. (423) 821-7125. www.chattanoogaghosttours.comFemale Impersonation ShowMidnight. Images, 6065 Lee Hwy. (423) 855-8210. www.imagesbar.com

SaturdayGang Awareness Seminar8 a.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St. (423) 752-4449. www.chattanooga.govTuba/Euphonium Conference8 a.m. UTC Fine Arts Center Roland Hayes Hall, 725 Vine St. (423) 425-4601. www.utc.edu/musicSouthern Trophy Hunters’ Big Buck Expo9 a.m. Chattanooga Convention Center, 1150 Carter St. (423) 756-0001. www.southerntrophyhunters.comFull Moon Tattoo & Horror Festival11 a.m. Chattanooga Downtown Marriott Hotel, 2 Carter Plaza. www.fullmooninc.netRingling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus11 a.m., 3 p.m., 7 p.m. UTC McKenzie Arena, 720 East 4th St. (423) 266-6627. www.ringling.comShamrock CityNoon. Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd. Lookout Mountain, GA. (800) 854-0675. www.seerockcity.comGhosts2 p.m. Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 1918 Union Ave. (423) 987-5141.Mystery at the Nightmare Office Party6 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.comA Year With Frog and Toad7:30 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com

The Midnight Swinger7:30, 10 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. Saturday Night Movie with Ms. Kitty8 p.m. Baylor School Student Center, 171 Baylor School Rd. (423) 267-8505. Mystery at the Redneck-Italian Wedding8:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. Female Impersonation ShowMidnight. Images, 6065 Lee Hwy. (423) 855-8210. www.imagesbar.com

SundaySouthern Trophy Hunters’ Big Buck Expo10 a.m. Chattanooga Convention Center, 1150 Carter St. (423) 756-0001 Full Moon Tattoo & Horror Festival11 a.m. Chattanooga Downtown Marriott Hotel, 2 Carter Plaza. www.fullmooninc.netThis Ain’t Your Mama’s Wedding & Party Expo11 a.m. Warehouse Row, 1110 Market St.

The Way BackOscar-nominated film inspired by a true story of the escape of POWs from a Siberian prison camp.Multiple showingsMajestic 12, 311 Broad St.(423) 826-2375. www.artsedcouncil.org

Mara Rosenbloom Quartet

Debut of Jazz Series features New York pianist

Rosenbloom.$10 advance, $12 door.

8 p.m.Barking Legs Theater,

1307 Dodds Ave.(423) 624-5347.

www.barkinglegs.org

THURSDAY FRIDAY


Arts & Events CalendarARTS

Shamrock CityNoon. Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd. Lookout Mountain, GA. (800) 854-0675. Howard International DebateNoon. UTC Fine Arts Center Roland Hayes Hall, 725 Vine St. (423) 425-4601. www.utc.edu/musicRingling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus2 p.m. UTC McKenzie Arena, 720 East 4th St. (423) 266-6627. www.ringling.comA Year With Frog and Toad2:30 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.comLA Phil LIVE4 p.m. Regal Cinemas 10-17, 2000 Hamilton Pl. (800) 326-3264.Ghosts6:30 p.m. Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 1918 Union Ave. (423) 987-5141.Auditions: The Women7:30 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.comSymphony Orchestra Concert7:30 p.m. Southern Adventist University, 4881 Taylor Cir. Collegedale. (800) 768-8437.

The Midnight Swinger8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com

MondayAuditions: The Women7:30 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com

TuesdayChattanooga Shoe Shoe11:30 a.m. The Chattanoogan Hotel, 1201 Broad St. (423) 624-6144.Classic 150’s Second Annual Roast/Toast6 p.m. Chattanooga Convention Center, 1150 Carter St. (423) 756-2211. www.gomocs.comSongwriter’s Line-up7 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081.A Chorus Line7:30 p.m. Memorial Auditorium, 399 McCallie Ave. (423) 757-5156. www.chattanooga.gov

WednesdayChattanooga Business EXPO9:30 a.m. Chattanooga Convention Center, 1150 Carter St. (423) 756-0001Main Street Farmers Market4 p.m. Main St. at Williams St. www.mainstfarmersmarket.comThe Lake Trio Lecture Recital7:30 p.m. Chattanooga State, 4501 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 697-3383.Gordon Lightfoot in Concert8 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St. (423) 752-4449.

Speak Easy: Spoken Word and Poetry8 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St.www.facebook.com/theofficechatt

Ongoing“Heirloom”Shuptrine Fine Art Group, 2646 Broad St. (423) 266-4453. www.shuptrinefineartgroup.com“Whispers”Shuptrine Fine Art Group, 2646 Broad St. (423) 266-4453. “Skies” by the North Georgia Sky Painters SocietyNorth River Civic Center, 1009 Executive Dr. Ste. 102. (423) 870-8924.“Living Daylights”Cress Gallery of Art, 725 Vine St. (423) 425-4600. www.utc.edu“Early Flight”Boyd Gallery, The McCallie School, 500 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-8300.“Journey”River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033. www.river-gallery.com“Take Art/Leave Art”AVA, 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-4282. www.avarts.org“Needleworks, Cultural and Contemporary” (thru 3/10)Jewish Cultural Center, 5461 N. Terrace Rd. (423) 493-0270. www.jewishchattanooga.com“From Africa to America”Mosaic Gallery, 412 Market St. (423) 320-67638.“Wrapped in Pride”Bessie Smith Cultural Center, 200 E. Martin Luther King Blvd. (423) 266-8658.

“Jellies: Living Art”10 a.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 266-0944. “Good for You: Healthy Fun on the Run”Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St. (423) 648-6043. www.cdmfun.org“Loïs Mailou Jones: A Life in Vibrant Color”Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 266-0944. “Bokeh & Zen”In-Town Gallery, 26A Frazier Ave. (423)267-9214. www.intowngallery.com“Exchange”Tanner-Hill Art Gallery, 3069 South Broad St. (423) 280-7182. www.tannerhillgallery.comUltimate Wave Tahiti 3DIMAX Theater at the Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695. www.tnaqua.orgHubble 3DIMAX Theater at the Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695.

GhostsHenrik Ibsen’s provocative classic.$102 p.m.Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 1918 Union St.

LA Phil LIVEConcert performance of Tchaikovsky, conducted

by Gustavo Dudamel, broadcast live from Los

Angeles.$20

5 p.m.Hamilton Place 10-17 2000 Hamilton Blvd.

(423) 855-5951. www.laphil.com/laphillive

SATURDAY SUNDAY


For the past ten years now, Out of the Blue Café and Kites has filled two unique niches within the local business community, one evidenced more clearly than the other by the name. The first, and more easily de-duced, is that of a specialty kite store—something that owner Peggy Roselle couldn’t find when she relocated here from Albuquerque, New Mexico, some years back.

Quite the enthusiast, she decided to solve that prob-lem by opening her own. Out of the Blue deals in the full range of kites, from ones perfect for young children to dual-line sport and stunt kites, and everything in be-tween. They also do special orders if customers need something specific they don’t have in stock.

The second niche they fill might not be guessed with a cursory glance. At first, Peggy operated a coffee shop alongside her kites. Though the name has stayed the same, the scope of the Café’s selections has expanded considerably since that time, and now encompasses a selection of Southwestern-inflected, homemade-style favorites.

I recently tried a range of their of-ferings, from some of their more well-known, to a few of the daily specials. Among those bet-ter-known dishes was The Traditional Sampler, a plate graced by gener-ous portions of their chicken salad and pasta salad alongside a slice of quiche, all served atop mixed greens with fruit and bread made in house. Both the chicken and pasta salads were much lighter than their stereo-typical versions, with a freshness that typifies Out of the Blue’s food. The

warm, smoothly textured quiche contributed a sa-vory aspect to the plate without feeling heavy. Their Famous Raspberry Tea was a revelation as an accompaniment.

The daily specials lived up to their name. Mon-days mean Out of the Blue is serving up Shrimp, Sausage, and Chicken Gumbo, Tuesday brings Beef Pot Roast with Mashed Potatoes, and Wednesday’s special is an enormous Chicken Pot Pie. A Thursday visit can entail New Mexico Green Chile Chicken Enchiladas, and Friday’s feature is a Chicken Pecan Quiche plate.

I’ve now tried three of the five. The pot roast and mash simply screamed “homemade,” and the pastry atop the pot pie was exactly what I’d hoped for. The enchiladas are breathtaking. The specials change from time to time, and Peggy won’t whip up these enchiladas if she can’t get New Mexico green chiles. You’ll know why when you take your first bite.

Out of the Blue also makes a wide range of sandwiches and wraps, covering everything from their creamy pimento cheese served atop a croissant to the Santa Fe, a jalapeno cheese wrap filled with smoked turkey, spicy mayo, and a load of fresh veggies. Salads of all sorts are also on of-fer, including an unprecedented choice with mango and black beans.

I would be remiss if I forgot to mention their desserts, made, like so much else, in the restaurant it-self. Their award-winning cookies (among others) are always on of-

fer, as are the longed-after Lemon Bars. Daily offerings vary, but include their Honey Apple Cake with Caramel Sauce (also an award winner) and a truly phenomenal Key Lime Pie that blew my socks off.

Sundays now feature a Brunch Buffet that includes a variety of quiches, various breakfast casseroles, fruit and pastries, all for $8.50 including a drink, which is a steal for homemade taste without the work, especially on one’s off day.

Out of the Blue also has a meeting space that seats 60, and is free to use—Peggy even opens it up after normal business hours when needed. Even if you’ve al-ready scheduled an event elsewhere, you can have Out of the Blue’s delicious offerings nonetheless—they also cater!

All of this, coupled with Out of the Blue’s unique dé-cor and function as a kite shop, make for a marvelous place to have a nice, relaxed lunch, whether with friends, colleagues, and especially the family (your children will, as I did, marvel at some of the kites displayed). A visit alone shouldn’t be discouraged either—available wireless Internet and a cozy nook perfect for having a quiet read are both enticing, though you could easily entertain yourself gawking at the desserts and conversing with the friendly staff that is as relaxed as the ambience.

Out of the Blue Café and Kites, 3230 Brainerd Rd. Open Tuesday through Friday, 10 a.m. to 6 p.m., and Sat-urday through Monday, 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. (423) 698-7883 or check out www.ootbcafeandkites.com for more info.

Dining OutFOOD

By D.E.Langley, Pulse Food Reviewer

Out of the Blue is Out of This World


Remember last week when we learned that flavored vod-ka was a new phenomenon? Well, the same can’t be said for liqueurs, which for cen-turies have been known as the original flavored alcoholic beverages. What’s your fan-cy? Hey, believe me, any-thing goes: cherry, orange, apple, pear, banana, black-berry, black cherry–and now even rootbeer! Yes, that’s right, and it’s perfect for shots and mixed drinks, and even better, it’s this week’s “Great Buy”.

Great Buys are included in my weekly column, brought to you by Riley’s Wine and Spirits on Hixson Pike in Hixson (Chattanooga’s favorite place to shop for adult beverages), in which we pick something special from a large selection of wine and spirits from around the globe, then share it with Chattanooga’s readership of The Pulse. This week’s selection is Black Maker Rootbeer Liqueur.

Alcoholic beverages known as li-queurs have been around for cen-turies, and were once used as medicines by the healers known as apothecaries during Roman times. During the Middle Ages, liqueurs were toasted as a symbol of peace. Liqueurs are made by the infusion of such key ingredients as flowers, herbs, fruits and spices into water and/or alcohol along with the key ingredient of sugar.

This separates liqueurs from spir-its, which have no added sugar whether flavored or not. Once all of these ingredients are combined together, they are aged for a short period of time.

Along with apothecaries, “Black Makers” were medicine men who lived like hermits in the hills and for-ests of the White Mountains, a scenic

mountain range located in the Alas-kan Yukon Territory, which stands some 3,100 feet sandwiched be-tween Beaver and Preacher Creeks. Prospectors, looking for gold, gave the mountain this name because of its abundance of white limestone. Black Makers were somewhat elder-ly, self-taught herbalists not known for their social graces, but more so for their healing concoctions sold in nearby village general stores.

Black Maker Rootbeer Liqueur is made much like those ancient recipes of yore, with a clear neu-tral spirit for starters, which is then infused with wintergreen, nutmeg, cinnamon, clove, ginger, anise, sweet birch, and of course, sugar.

Once infused, it sits while all the ingredients marry together. Af-ter all, the Latin word for liqueur is “liqui facere,” which means “to liq-uefy”. The results are, dare I say, spectacular, just like rootbeer can-dy on the taste buds, followed by a creamy cola-like aftertaste with little or no burn or bite. This liqueur is 70 proof.

Try it today for whatever ails you at Riley’s: regular price $21.99—Riley’s price $16.99 plus tax. Cheers!

The Roots of Rootbeer Liqueur

Riley's Spirits WithinWINE & SPIRITS

By Joshua Hurley, Riley's Wine & Spirits


Crossword created By Matt Jones. © 2011 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #0510.

Jonesin' Crossword & Rob Brezsny's Free Will AstrologyENTERTAINMENT

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Your meditation for this week comes from writer H. P. Lovecraft. “What a man does for pay is of little significance. What he is, as a sensitive instrument responsive to the world’s beauty, is everything!” While that’s always good counsel, I think it’s especially apt for you right now. You’re in a phase of your astrological cycle when you’d be smart to evaluate your own worth based less on what job you do and more on who you are. Practice thinking this healing idea: The soulfulness you embody and express from moment to moment is the single greatest measure of your success as a human being.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): One of my favorite pecu-liarities about the English language is the idiosyncratic words it uses to characterize groups of specific animals. For example, the correct term for many owls gathered together is not “flock” but “parliament”: a “parliament of owls.” Likewise, we say a “rabble of butterflies,” a “prickle of hedgehogs,” a “shrewdness of apes,” and a “murder of crows.” If I had to come up with a com-parable term for the human members of your tribe, it might be something like a “zeal of Geminis” or a “charm of Geminis” or a “romp of Geminis” or an “exaltation of Geminis.” All those words capture part of the glory that will be you, especially for the next few weeks.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): The roots of the lotus are anchored in muck at the pond’s bottom. Its leaves float on the water and its dramatic flower rises above on a thick stem. It’s an evocative plant that is featured in many ancient myths. For Buddhists, it was an emblem of enlightenment: beauty ascending from the mud. In India, a thousand-petaled golden lotus symbolized the miracle of creation. To the Egyptians, it represented rebirth. Even modern science has contributed to build-ing the mystique of the lotus, having determined that its seeds can remain viable for many centuries. It’s not a fragile marvel! In the 16th-century Chinese folk tale “Monkey,” a teacher instructed the hero on how to achieve a long life. “Even amidst fierce flames,” he said, “the Golden Lotus can be planted.” For the foreseeable future, Cancerian, the lotus is your power object.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): “Picture a very complicated combination lock, one that requires dialing up eight dif-ferent numbers to open,” writes Arianna Huffington. “You have seven of the numbers, but the lock still won’t open until you hit upon that final number. One-eighth may not seem as ‘big’ as seven-eighths, but without the final click of the combination, the tumblers won’t fall into place.” Sound familiar, Leo? In my astrologi-cal opinion, you have dialed up the first seven numbers but you don’t know what the eighth is yet; until you discover it, the lock will stay closed. Where should you look for the missing info? It’s now within your reach, and it wasn’t before.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In the coming week, it’s very important that you stay out of other people’s hells— even if they invite you in with a big welcome, and even if you’re tempted to join them there in their infer-nos as a misguided way of proving your love. Be com-passionate, Virgo, but don’t be manipulated or foolish. The best thing you can do to help others is to cultivate your own mental health with ingenuity, trusting in its radiant power to heal by example.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “Two paradoxes are bet-ter than one,” said physicist Edward Teller. “They may even suggest a solution.” I hope this gives you a glimmer of appreciation for the sparkling contradictions you’re surrounded by, Libra. It would be understandable if up until today you felt they were crazy-making stressors that served no good purpose. But now maybe you will be motivated to stand on your head, cross your eyes, and try to see how the tangy riddles might actually be used to untangle each other.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Despite the wealth and renown he has accumulated during his influential career, musician Brian Eno is a big fan of raw simplic-ity. Speaking about R&B, soul music, and psychedelia, he said, “These earlier eras of pop music were charac-terized not by the search for perfection but by bizarre enthusiasms, small budgets, erratic technique, crummy equipment, and wild abandon.” Would you consider playing with that approach in the coming weeks, Scor-pio? It’s not necessarily something you should do all the time, but right now I suspect it’s a formula for the most interesting kind of success.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Research Digest Blog asked eminent psychologists to write about the theme “one nagging thing you still don’t understand about yourself.” One expert wondered why he always overestimates how much work he can get done. An-other pondered the fact that he falls prey to his own ir-rational biases even though he’s well aware he has them. A third said he can’t fathom why it’s so easy for him to learn some things and so hard to learn others. What would your answer be, Sagittarius? This is an excellent time, astrologically speaking, to see if you can get to the bottom of a truth about yourself that has always eluded you. (To read the story, go here: http://tinyurl.com/DontKnowYet.)

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): I suspect that you will either be spectacularly right or breathtakingly wrong in the coming days. Which way it goes will all depend on whether you’re observing and responding to the actual events unfolding in front of you or else are more fo-cused on the images dancing around in your imagina-tion. Of course it’s always a good idea to get your biases and projections out of the way so you can see life as it really is, but it’s especially crucial now. So much is contingent upon your ability to be acutely perceptive and crisply objective.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): In the old fairy tale, the character known as Rumpelstiltskin had the power to spin straw into gold. That skill has a metaphorical resem-blance to the wizardry you could pull off in the coming weeks: transforming seemingly ordinary or worthless stuff into a valuable asset. Although your work might seem a bit miraculous and make some people wonder if you’ve used hocus-pocus, the fact is that it may at times feel tedious or extremely demanding to you. Be gutsy in your mastery of the intricate details, Aquarius. I’ll be thinking of you as the Gritty Magician.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “Good things may come to those who wait—but they’re mostly just the things left behind by those who hustle and bustle.” That mes-sage was in the fortune cookie I got with my Chinese take-out food tonight. It happens to be a perfect fit for your current astrological omens, so I’m handing it over to you. In the coming week, I don’t recommend that you sit around patiently and watch how the trends ripen. I don’t think you should bide your time or be cau-tious in making a commitment. Be proactive, Pisces—maybe even gung ho. Carpe the freaking diem.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): “Dear Mr. Astrologer: Like the god Prometheus, I stole fire from the gods and gave it to people who sometimes make awful use of it. As punishment, the gods chained me to a rock on the beach, and arranged for an eagle to come daily to eat my liver. Luckily, the liver grows back every night. Un-luckily, the eagle always returns to devour it again. I’m used to it by now; it doesn’t hurt as much as it once did. But I’m still eager to get out of my predicament. Any suggestions? Aries in Limbo.” Dear Aries: Your rescue is scheduled for no later than your birthday, possibly before. In the meantime, the best thing you can do to prepare for your release is to feel gratitude for all you’ve learned during your ordeal.

Across1 Graffiti artist who didn’t win a 2011 Oscar (which made the identity-reveal specula-tion a non-event)7 “I Can Haz Cheez-burger?” critter13 Treat as the same14 Person forced out of a country16 Marathon participant17 Nickname for a standoffish woman18 His job is stealth19 Bartlett’s attrib.20 Suffix for sex or absurd21 2007 coin with a peregrine falcon on it25 Yukon XL manufac-turer28 ___ Kippur29 Seasoned guy30 Shape of some bak-ing pans32 Little refresher34 Frappuccino flavor38 It’s hidden (but sug-

gested) in job interviews42 Foundation43 They’re parked in parks44 Laurel of Laurel & Hardy45 “The Legend of Zelda” console, for short47 Abu Dhabi’s coun-try, for short49 Prefix with skeleton50 Clarity measured in digital photos56 Money source for the disabled: abbr.57 Forearm bone58 Designation of some meat markets62 “How nice and peaceful!”65 ___ oil66 Packet near a soup bowl67 Historical records68 Turns back to 0000069 One of Mars’s moons

Down1 Swiss capital2 Here in Mexico3 Former senator Sam4 Pictogram system in Japanese writing5 Stable6 “___ darn tootin’!”7 ___ Sportif8 Become less reserved9 Latin abbr. meaning “he/she speaks”10 Hero of the 1986 BMX movie “Rad”11 Bit the dust12 Actress/burlesque artist Dita von ___14 Wilma and Pebbles’ pet15 ___’acte19 Sportscaster Rashad22 Top of the line23 Gives guns to24 LeVar Burton miniseries25 Silver-tongued26 NYC art center27 Sign of shouting?31 Side adventure33 O followers

35 Use as a reference36 Spam content, often37 The A of A.D.39 “Gotcha”40 Body part that dangles41 Morales of “NYPD Blue”46 Narrow in the light48 Natural gas com-ponent50 Egyptian fertility goddess51 Red astronomical body52 Frozen food or cereal, e.g.53 “___ Gold” (1997 Peter Fonda film)54 Insects that can become “zombies” via different fungi55 One-named Greek59 Rich soil60 French greeting61 Scottish girl63 Gal. divisions64 180, casually65 Knave


Gustavo Arellano

Taking Back TexasAsk A MexicanOPINION

Have a question? Ask the Mexican at [email protected], be his fan on Facebook, follow him on Twitter or ask him a video question at youtube.com/askamexicano!

Dear Mexican, When the Second World War ended, the

Germans and Japanese had to return all ter-ritories they had acquired by force. The U.S. ac-quired most of the West by force from Mexico, due to the war with Mexico. Agreed the U.S. won the war with Mexico, but did that make it right? I do not think, so why does Mexico not go to the World Court and sue? I know the U.S. won’t acquiesce if it were to lose, but at least the taking of Mexican territory would be branded an illegal act. I know to some, this will sound un-American, but I think it is totally American—it’s called righting a wrong. I was born in Alabama, a state that knows a lot about being un-American (remember the Civil War?), raised in Virginia, another state that knows a lot about being un-American (again, the Civil War), and Washington D.C. whose citizens have less rights than other Americans. My heritage is English-Irish, so the only axe I have to grind is to see to it my country commits as few wrongs as possible.— Bob

Dear Beto, I like your thinking! Alas, it wouldn’t fly—

although the Mexican-American War was a blatant imperial land grab, the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo was an official document that ended the war. Signed under duress, yes, but nevertheless relatively ironclad. Besides, the United States considers the International Court of Justice a clown court (as you correctly note) whose issued opinions mean mierda if they go against the Stars and Stripes—see 1984’s Nicaragua vs. United States, where the court correctly ruled the United States illegally supported the Contras, only to have Reagan consider the decision as meaningful as striking air-traffic controllers. Finally, why bother with legal systems when demographic reality is doing it for us? Didja hear that former U.S. Census director Steve Murdoch recently studied the population trends of Texas and told the state’s House of Representatives’ Mexican American Legislative Caucus, “Basically, it’s over for Anglos in Texas”? That’s the future, folks: the end of the gabacho race, and the Mexican says it’s a good thing—not so much for Reconquista purposes, but because that just means more intermarriage will happen and finish our racialist games once and for

all. Because nothing stops racism like a hot mamacita or a cute, fecund gabacha.

Dear Mexican,I have a few online gal pals. The ones who are

Mexicans have an affinity for composing mail in ALL CAPS. It doesn’t particularly annoy me; I just wondered if there is a cultural significance behind this larger-than-life correspondence style. — Curioso Amarillo

Dear Curious Yellow,Because they are LOUD. Funny thing is

that the Spanish language generally capitaliz-es words less than English, so we can’t blame the all-caps on their Mexi side, for once, or for the fact that sOmE wRiTe lIkEa tHiS.

GOOD MEXICAN OF THE WEEK! Most of you know Lalo Alcaraz, the nationally syn-dicated cartoonist behind the comic strip, La Cucaracha (and if you don’t know him, think of Alcaraz as Gary Trudeau meets Aaron McGruder meets the end of a tequila bottle). But this plug is for his Twitter account, one of the better stream-of-consciousness experiments out there. Better yet? Un-like other funnymen, Alcaraz responds to EVERYTHING—especially nasty remarks, which makes him even more chistoso. Follow the carbon at twitter.com/laloalcaraz, or find him online at pocho.com


Ask A Mexican

the pulse - vol. 8, issue 10

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