the pulse - vol. 8, issue 33

Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative

Bringing It Back For Bessie | Mud, Bikes & Music | Hate & The Help

August 18, 2011VOLUME 8, ISSUE 33

WWW.CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

Why Nonprofits Are Having To Find New Revenue Sources As The Old Money Dries Up & Goes Away

MAKING A DIFFERENCEWHILE MAKING A DOLLAR

The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 33 | August 18, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com2

www.chattanoogapulse.com | August 18, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 33 | The Pulse 3

ContentsAUGUST

201118

VOLUME 8, ISSUE 33 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

“The Bessie Smith Heritage Festival continues to bring superlative talent to Chattanooga, showcasing the best artists in blues, jazz and more contemporary soul forms.”

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Nightfall 2011 - Friday Night!Michael Burks

Want to watch a video of this week's Nightfall headliner? Download the FREE "QR Reader"

on your smartphone and scan this code.

“Tax deductions for nonprofit donations are set to be limited, charitable giving has been at an

all-time low for the past three years, and cuts in funding for important volunteer programs like

Americorps are said to be coming.”

8“This Saturday night you can shake it off and give back whether you want to go glam, get muddy, or rock out with your bike out.”


In celebration of their 25th anniversa-ries, Chattanooga Neighborhood Enterprise (CNE) and Association for Visual Arts (AVA) have partnered to host a video contest that asks all Chattanooga neighborhood associa-tions, “Why does your neighborhood rock?”

The associations, or their representatives, will be invited to submit a video that focuses on what they love about their neighborhood. A $5,000 grand prize will be awarded to the winner with smaller awards for the runner-ups.

In order to qualify, contestants must submit a video up to five minutes in length to CNE by October 1. The top five submissions will be viewed on October 22 at Jefferson Heights Park.

In all, five prizes will be awarded to the top videos with a $5,000 grand prize awarded to the neighborhood associa-tion with the best overall video.

“CNE has made revitalizing Chattanooga neighborhoods its primary focus for the last 25 years and we know that there is a lot of ownership and pride out there in the community,” said Laura Schleifer, Development Assistant for CNE. “With the help of AVA, we want to give our local com-munities a creative voice to put their neigh-

borhoods on display and tell Chattanooga why they are great.”

As training support, AVA will be hosting four classes on cinematography and video editing for anyone interested in submitting a video. “This is a terrific community arts proj-ect. With today’s video technology, everyone can tell a great story and we look forward to seeing what the neighborhoods create,” said Anne Willson, executive director of AVA.

In addition to the workshops, AVA is donat-ing use of their media lab and rental equip-ment free of charge.

To learn more about submitting your video, please visit www.cneinc.org or www.myneigh-borhoodrocks.com. For more information call (423) 756-6226.

President Jim Brewer, II

Publisher Zachary Cooper

Contributing Editor Janis Hashe

News Editor / Layout Gary Poole

Director of Sales Rhonda Rollins

Advertising Sales Rick Leavell, Michelle Pih

Graphic Design Jennifer Grelier

Photography / Videography Josh Lang

ContributorsGustavo Arellano, Rob Brezsny Chuck Crowder, Michael Crumb

John DeVore, Janis Hashe, Matt Jones, D.E. Langley Zach Leavell, Louis Lee, Kelly Lockhart, Ernie Paik Millie Smith, Alex Teach

Tara V.

Editorial Cartoonist Rick Baldwin

Contact Info: Phone (423) 265-9494Fax (423) 266-2335

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Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative

Pulse Beats

Is Your Neighborhood Ready For Its Close Up?

NEWS

News Briefs

“If this county and city ever move towards consolidation, then I will fight very hard for the

Sheriff to be the senior law enforcement.” — Hamilton County Sheriff Jim Hammond, on recent talks about

merging aspects of city and county governments.

Last week, the East Ridge City Coun-cil voted unanimously to create an East Ridge Municipal Planning Commission. The vote came after the Regional Plan-ning Commission deferred action for 60 days on the proposed East Ridge Fire-works Regulation Ordinance. The ordi-nance had been recommended to the commission by planning agency staff, but at the time of the commission vote, one member threatened to defer action on the fireworks proposal indefinitely. East Ridge Mayor Brent Lambert said that by forming its own municipal plan-ning commission, East Ridge will now be able to plan its own future without being subject to extended delays by others.

The numbers are in for the first five days of school in Hamilton County. Ac-cording to Superintendent Rick Smith’s office, actual students at desks—not just computer lists—indicates enrollment is up almost 500 for the year. And that likely won’t be the final number, as the district expects more students to show up in the coming weeks. As expected, East Hamilton Middle and High School is above capacity because of growth in its area. More than 2,100 students re-ported for class on the first day, which is more than 450 above capacity.


Remembering Haywood PattersonI am a loyal reader of The Pulse. I pick up

my copy every week and have a leisurely lunch at Greenlife while catching up on the happenings around town. It’s a welcome diversion from my stressful life, and a weekly moment of relaxation, amusement and entertainment. And yet last week I found myself crying in public for one of the first times since I was a kid after reading Cody Maxwell’s very moving piece about Haywood Patterson. Thank you for sharing such an amazing piece of writing with the city. Denise Satterly

I don’t usually associate the word “haunting” with The Pulse, but this essay made me shiver a little. Amazing piece. Corinne Megrus

Multicultural GreedI have always found it odd that the

same people who cry “racism” at every opportunity were also some of the biggest supporters of creating a separate, segregated “Chamber of Commerce”. What is sad is how many of those same people have been utterly silent now that

the dirty laundry of fraud, waste and mismanagement are coming to light. Maybe this time around, they will partner with the existing business community and work to make the entire region better for everyone instead of furthering a divisive and antagonistic vision.

Walter Anderson

Storm Debris (Non)RemovalAll city taxpayers must remember that if

there are two brush piles laid side by side at the corner of two pieces of property, each resident must call. One call to 311 will not get both piles picked up. The City would rather make two separate trips. Even worse, if the collectors see a rotten pile of brush they need to pick it up. Instead they drive by it—in some cases over 20 times in a three month period. Rick Pitch

Back in BlackBlack tie, black T-shirt or a little black

dress. Whatever your taste, add style and love to your life by adopting a beautiful black dog or cat during our “Back in Black” adoption promotion now through September 17. Adoption fees for black animals are 50% off regular adoption fee! All of our animals are spayed/neutered, up to date on age appropriate vaccinations, microchipped, feline leukemia negative for cats and heartworm negative for dogs. Karen Walsh McKamey Animal Center

Send all letters to the editor and questions to

[email protected]

We reserve the right to edit letters for content and space. Please include your full name,

city and contact information.

OpinionNEWS


• People often keep cash in unusual places. Especially when the weather is hot and summer clothing has a dearth of pock-ets or places to keep cold cash. But for one Grover Street Court woman, keeping her money close to her chest—literally—turned out to not be as secure as expected. While she was standing outside of her home chatting with neighbors, a man known only as “G-Face” came up, reached inside her blouse and snatched the cash. Before she or her friends could respond, “G-Face” ran off and hasn’t been seen since. Police have a solid description of the chest-happy thief, however, and are actively searching for him.

• How hot has it been? Apparently hot enough to cause clothes to burst into flames. At least that’s one way to explain how a line of laundry drying outside of a Woodland View Circle home burst into flame last week. The homeowner said she answered a knock on her door and was informed by a small boy that her clothes were burning. She called 9-1-1 and put out the fire herself before authorities arrived. She estimates her loss at about $50. Fire investigators, however, aren’t entertaining

the “hot enough to burn clothes” theo-ry and are continu-ing to investigate.

• Sometimes the first reaction is the most appropriate reaction. At least that was the case in a recent motel meth-lab bust by Chattanooga police. Officers were called out to a Cummings Highway motel on a report of a possible meth lab set up in on the rooms. As officers were approaching the room in question, a man walked out of the next-door room, saw the officers, and said, “Oh, s---!” Before he could get back in the room, officers saw a number of bottles of the type used to “cook” meth as well as being nearly overwhelmed by a strong chemical odor. With obvious prob-able cause, officers entered the room and found a rather large meth lab, arresting four people in the process.

• With the current state of the econ-omy, more and more people are having problems with their credit cards. But that still isn’t an excuse to run up unauthorized

expenditures...especially when the credit card is issued to the city one works for. And you’re the (now former) chief of po-lice. Yet that’s exactly what city officials in Whitwell are dealing with, as former police chief and city recorder were arrested last week on theft charges. The city recorder is accused of spending more than $9,000 at stores like GameStop, Aeropostale and Hot Topic, while the chief was has more than $4,000 of unauthorized purchases. Both had started to repay the city dur-ing the investigation, but the damage had been done. To their credit, city leaders are now taking steps to prevent this from ever happening again, intituting new controls and policies on city-issued cards.

Politics & CrimeNEWS

Here is one of the agenda items to be discussed at the Tuesday, August 23 meeting

of the Chattanooga City Council.

The Chattanooga City Council meets each Tuesday at 6 p.m. in the City Council Building at 1000 Lindsay St. For more information on the current agenda, and past minutes, visit www.Chattanooga.gov/City_Council

A weekly roundup of the newsworthy, notable and often head-scratching stories gleaned from police reports from the Chattanooga Police Department, the Hamilton County Sheriff’s Office,

the Bradley County Sheriff’s Department and the Dalton Police Department.

7. Resolutions:d) A resolution authorizing the Ad-ministrator of the Department of Parks and Recreation to enter into an agreement with ISS, Inc. to construct one athletic field and the various com-ponents required to support said field at Montague Park, in an amount not to exceed $133,077.35.

If you’ve ever wondered how much it costs to build a ballfield—well, now you know. Or rather, you know how much it’ll cost the city to build one in Mon-tague Park, a ballfield that area resi-dents have long sought.

And while some may question spending decisions such as this during tight eco-nomic times, it has been proven time and time again that such facilities not only quickly pay for themselves, but also improve property values and help improve neighborhood safety and qual-ity of life. Play ball!


Making a Difference While Making a Dollar

The rise of the social entrepreneur

Social EntreprneurshipCOVER STORY

Story by Millie Smith, Pulse Contributing Writer

In 2006, Blake Mycoskie, a scruffy thirty-something real-ity television star, traveled to Ar-gentina. After playing soccer with barefoot children in impoverished communities, Blake left Argentina with a simple goal: to return and provide shoes for 250 children in need. An entrepreneur at heart—he’d already attempted five small businesses—Blake’s enthusiasm for his project was infectious. In-stead of 250 pairs of shoes, Blake and friends returned to Argentina with 10,000 pairs of shoes, all col-lected within a year.


With this overnight and unexpected success, TOM’S Shoes and the One for One movement were born. The One for One concept was simple: For every pair of shoes purchased, a pair of shoes would be given to a child in need, and, in September 2010, TOMS gave away its millionth pair of shoes. Within four-and-a-half years, TOMS has won the 2007 People’s Design Award at Cooper Hewitt National Design Awards and become a member of the Clinton Global Initiative. Mycoskie, billing himself as the Chief Shoe Giver, has found him-self in high demand for speaking engagements at pres-tigious conferences like TED X and South by Southwest (SXSW).

Mycoskie’s other small-business ventures have been much more modest in their successes. There was the at-tempted all-reality TV chan-nel, which Rupert Murdoch put out of business with his Fox Reality Channel, a door-to-door laundry service, and a billboard company. While My-coskie has the drive and cre-ativity of an entrepreneur, it was the beauty of the One for One movement that launched his most successful business, now ranked on Fast Company’s Top Ten Most Innovative Companies list. Realizing that more than a

company, his concept is an entirely new business model, Mycoskie wants TOMS to own the One for One model, and in June he announced the next phase of TOMS: eye-wear. For every pair of high-end fashion glasses bought, a pair of glasses will be given to children in need. Not a mi-cromanager, Mycoskie keeps a schedule that allows time for journaling on his houseboat and plenty of international travel, including the frequent shoe-drop trips. A self-pro-claimed philosopher, his first book, Start Something That Matters, is set to be released on September 6. His chal-

lenge for the reader, “Love your work, work for what you love and change the world, all at the same time.” As ambi-tious as that sounds, his message is hitting home with the current generation of entrepreneurs, CEOS, brand mar-keters, and most importantly, consumers.

Mycoskie is what many call a social entrepreneur. With the troubling economic times and the changes that non-profit organizations are facing (tax deductions for non-profit donations are set to be limited, charitable giving has been at an all-time low for the past three years, and cuts in funding for important volunteer programs like Americorps are said to be coming), social entrepreneurship companies are on the rise. Add to that the appeal to consumers and employees of cause marketing with a compelling story, and it seems that businesses may finally re-think profit for profit alone. Terms such as social entrepreneur, mi-crofinance, microcredit, microsavings are now ubiquitous in socially conscious circles, causing a blurring of the lines

between traditional nonprofit organizations and for-profit businesses, allowing creative thinkers to reconsider how they produce, sell, and search for significance.

One of the first social entrepreneurial organizations, Ashoka, defines social entrepreneurs: “They are individuals with innovative solutions to society’s most pressing social problems. They are ambitious and persistent, tackling major social issues and offering new ideas for wide-scale change. Social entrepreneurs are not content to just give a fish, or teach how to fish, they will not rest until they hae revolu-tionized the fishing industry.” In light of this redefinition of how we consider social problems, Ashoka has moved away from the traditional acronyms and words associated with philanthropic efforts. NGO (non-governmental organi-zation) and NPO (nonprofit organization) are defined by the prefix, by the “non”, by what they are not. Instead of focusing on this absence of government support or fund-ing, many creative philanthropists are coining new terms


“For every pair of shoes purchased, a pair of shoes would be given to a child in need, and, in September 2010, TOMS gave away its millionth pair of shoes.”



like “citizen sector” or “citizen organization”. Putting the care of society and its problems in the hands of creative people invested in the wellbeing of the community is the truest and most empowering form of citizenship, they believe.

It is an important shift for a philanthropic and creative community like Chattanooga to consider. With a reputation as a nonprofit haven and a history of philanthropic found-ers, Chattanooga is home to more than 1,000 non-profits. By comparison, Nash-ville claims around 600. A number of strong, well-funded foundations such as Lyndhurst, Benwood and Maclellan have allowed the city’s charitable efforts to rely heavily on traditional means of nonprofit fundraising: grants, donors, and gov-ernment support. How-ever, with the looming changes to tax deductions for 501(c)(3) donations and the continuing decline in donations, Chattanoo-ga’s nonprofit community must consider how long these traditional models can support the number of nonprofits the city boasts. And, even without the economic cutbacks, as an increasingly creative com-munity develops among Chattanooga’s Millenials, perhaps there are better solutions for the problems previously left to nonprof-its to solve. If the creative community could remove the dichotomy of nonprofit vs. for-profit, and more importantly, the perception of the haves and the have-nots, those who help and those who need help could both learn from the other. Instead of mentor to mentee, donor to client, establishing a peer-to-peer relationship that equally values the lessons of both sides of the economic aisle will create a more creative and mutually ben-eficial climate of social entrepreneurs.

Jessica Jackley, founder of KIVA, an online community that allows lenders to make small loans to entrepreneurs througout the world, relates her own dilemma with her view of the haves and have-nots and her inner angst over their situation. She tells of being a sensitive, impressionable child in Sunday school and learning that she had a mission to care for

the “least of these”, yet being confounded at another Biblical reference that “the poor will always be with you”. As she grew older, her desire to help began to feel like a sense of guilt and confusion at this conundrum.

“In general I got this sort of idea that the poor in the world lived lives that were wrought with suffering and sadness, devasta-tion, hopelessness.

“And after a while, I developed what I think many of us do, where I started to feel bad ev-ery time I heard about them. I started to feel guilty for my own relative wealth, because I wasn’t doing more, apparently, to make things better. And so naturally, I started to distance myself. I stopped listening to their stories quite as closely as I had before. I gave

of my time and my mon-ey. I gave when solutions were on sale. The truth be told, I was giving out of that place, not out of a genuine place of hope and excitement to help and of generosity...I was purchasing something. I was buying my right to go on with my day and not necessarily be bothered by this bad news. And I think the way that we go through that sometimes can, first of all, disem-body a group of people, individuals out there in the world. So as I did this, and as I think many of us

do this, we kind of buy our distance, we kind of buy our right to go on with our day. I think that exchange can actually get in the way of the very thing that we want most. It can get in the way of our desire to really be meaning-ful and useful in another person’s life and, in short, to love.”

When Jessica heard Muhammad Yunus, Nobel Prize-winner and founder of the Grameen Bank, speak of the extraordinary success of microcredit, she realized she could impact the poor in a way that respects their dignity. As Jessica discovered, “The best way for people to change their lives is for them to have control and do it in a way that is best for them.” This epiphany inspired Jessica to launch KIVA, and within one year, the or-ganization had loaned $500,000 to small-business people in at-risk communities.

A number of strong,

well-funded foundations such

as Lyndhurst, Benwood and Maclellan have

allowed the city’s charitable efforts to rely heavily on traditional means

of nonprofit fundraising.”


Yunus asserts that now is the best time to re-frame how communities think about charity. “The current financial crisis makes it very clear that the system that we have isn’t really working and this is the right time for us to undo things and build them in a new way.” On a local level, traditional nonprofits and bud-ding entrepreneurs should reconsider their method of funding their work or starting a business. For en-trepreneurs, the success of cause marketing is worth noting. Who knows if a small shoe company out of Santa Monica, California would have seen such rapid growth without the compelling stories and the word-of-mouth marketing of its consumers and employees? TOMS staff is comprised of a large number of volunteer interns who are incredibly loyal to the brand. “The greatest competitive advantage is to allow your employees to be part of something. Something bigger than what you’re doing,” says Mycoskie. He makes sure to include his employees on the shoe-drop trips, keeping them invested in the mission.

For local nonprofits looking at the impending budget cuts, social entrepreneurship opportunities may be a valid means of support. Executive Director of Chattanooga’s Center for Nonprofits Sheila Moore says local nonprofits need to make sure they diversify their sources of funding. Though not ev-ery nonprofit lends itself to creative social entrepreneurship,

including that option in the funding model is a healthy step towards sustainability.

In Chattanooga, there is a growing awareness of the im-portance of microfinance in poverty alleviation. The Chal-mers Center for Economic Development is training com-munity leaders in Africa in microfinance education focused on savings and credit unions. Using the natural community connection of the church in Africa, Chalmers equips church leaders with holistic approaches to social, spiritual and finan-cial needs. Locally, Chalmers Center has launched a similar training program for savings-focused micorfinance opportu-nities for the local economically disadvantaged.

With the lofty Millenium Development Goals, and Mu-hammad Yunus’ belief that we can one day see a world where poverty is finally alleviated, many are wondering if it is really possible. Can labels like “consumer” and “donor”, “nonprofit” and “for-profit” fall away and leave a society creatively work-ing for economic progress and social good? Or, is it as Jessica Jackley, KIVA founder was told, “ the poor you will always

have with you”? As we work towards the answer to that

riddle, the words of Bono at the National Prayer Breakfast resonate. Challenging the audience to take on the fight against the Af-rican AIDS crisis, he said, “Look, whatever thoughts you have about God, who He is or if He exists, most will agree that, if there is

a God, He has a special place for the poor. In fact, the poor are where God lives.” It seems science supports Bono’s sup-position. In a UC Berkeley study of social class and prosocial behavior called “Having Less, Giving More”, the researchers found that the economically and socially marginalized actu-ally exhibit more charitable and “prosocial” behavior traits. Despite the fact that a low socioeconomic status is associat-ed with many social threats and a loss of control, “lower class individuals proved to be more generous, charitable, trusting and helpful compared to their upper class counterparts.” They exhibited far more empathy and compassion. The lo-cal community and the global community needs to approach the poor not as those with their hands out, but as those with their hearts open, who have much to teach us through their charitable example. For now, as communities struggle to find creative solutions to global and local poverty, let’s practice gratitude to the lessons we can learn from the most chari-table members of our society.


“Tax deductions for nonprofit donations are set to be limited, charitable giving has been at an

all-time low for the past three years, and cuts in funding for important volunteer programs like

Americorps are said to be coming.”


Police work is a lot like the hypothetical “jar of rocks” a college professor introduced me to many, many years ago.

He filled this jar to the top with golf-ball-sized stones, then asked, “Is this jar full?” He would then show it wasn’t quite so, as he poured fine gravel into it that filtered around the larger items and filled in the gaps…prompting him to repeat the question.

Next came sand to fill in the even smaller voids left by the gravel, which he poured to the top of the vessel and leveled it off with a ruler, packed to the very edge. Rocks, gravel, sand…it was a lesson in perception and details…problem-solving too, come to think of it. Showing how no matter the obstacle or event, there was always another possibility or something you may have missed; there was always room for something more. At the end of the lesson he drove this home even further by pouring a full glass of water into it after we’d deemed it “as full as it can be”. (Again.) I’ve lost sight of it from time to time, but that lesson has never fully left me.

I’m as shocked as anyone to have survived the first half of my career, what with my “impulsive nature”, but as most that have passed through a storm can attest, I have an even greater appreciation of calm waters now than I did before, and it allows me to see those same stress fractures appearing in others that once appeared in me.

I see cops every day with their jars getting more and more full…and some

don’t even realize it. Their vessels are packed with divorce papers and Pepto-Bismol. HIV exposures and Prilosec. Old rotten corpses and newly minted orphans, all between lunch breaks and shift changes, as if everything were normal. Because with us, that IS a normal day. And if we complain? There’s always a member of the public who will give the age-old advice of, “If you can’t handle it, then just quit.” But the new cop knows he can’t show weakness…and a good cop knows he can’t be so cruel as to walk away since it would only force some other poor bastard to do the job for him.

I’m a terribly small fish where I work; certainly not a leader (and one, in fact, I only assume is barely tolerated until needed), but there are a select few who know I’m a willing mentor when away from the rest of the pack, if not away from the job itself. Selective only in regards to the ones who don’t know they need a little redirection just yet, as was the case with

me once. A figurative or literal hand on a shoulder that will remind them when their emotional tires are low on air, with (when open to hear it) directions on how and how not to fix it. Again, funny advice from a guy with my reputation, but even I have a few things I hold precious.

Peer counseling is the technical

term for this and in my experience it’s the most effective. Booze, debauchery…those are other methods people self-medicate with, but while great for stories, the damaged ones sometimes mistake that psychological escape for “fun” and begin a downward spiral that can end up screaming like an old

dive-bombing Messerschmitt, without ever hearing a sound for themselves. That hand on the shoulder is for them to pull up on the stick before they plow into the ground, and everyone has seen the crater and ball of flames from those who didn’t make it in time.

Stress: There’s always room for more, it seems, and even when the water has filled the jar to the top and you think that really is all you can take, that liquid doesn’t just run over the top and onto the floor and out of your life. It will freeze and expand, shattering everything forever.

You must strike a balance between the corpses and the car wrecks, and when that fails…pray a friend or a stranger has your back. Bullets are obvious, after all; stress is much, much more insidious when left unchecked.

Be vigilant, brothers and sisters. Outward AND inward. And if you feel a hand on your shoulder one day? The difference between a career and a failed attempt at such may be the advice you hear from the other end of that arm.

Give it a chance.

On The Menu: Stress For Breakfast

Alex Teach

On The BeatOPINION

“That hand on the shoulder is for them to pull up on the stick

before they plow into the ground,

and everyone has seen the crater and ball of flames from those who didn’t make it in time.”

When Officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he is an occasional student, carpenter, boating enthu-siast, and spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center. Follow him on Face-book at www.facebook.com/alex.teach


The return of original blues entertainer Bobby Rush to the Bessie Smith Heritage Fes-tival provokes excitement because folks will be able to share in the presence of this unique and powerful performer. Rush has been deep into the blues for a long time, and he just gets bet-ter, garnering awards in 2008, especially for his release Raw.

Based in Chicago, Rush has recorded more than 250 records, and has been steadily per-forming more than 250 gigs every year. Born in Homer, Louisiana, a very small town, Rush left his native state in 1947 and within a couple of years, was onstage performing the blues. Largely self-taught, he honed his skills in gui-tar and harmonica around Jimmy Reed, Little Walter and Junior Wells. Rush was driven to be different, and he focused his skills into becom-ing an entertainer, bringing his own funky mix of Delta and Chicago blues.

The Bessie Smith Heritage Festival con-tinues to bring superlative talent to Chat-tanooga, showcasing the best artists in blues, jazz and more contemporary soul forms. This year’s headliner will be rhythm & blues phenom Chrisette Michele, a Grammy Award-winning artist. While Bobby Rush brings the blues, which, after all, was Bessie Smith’s major mode, Eric Essix will perform jazz gui-tar. Other artists include Chattanooga’s gospel/hip-hop performing artist T-Ran Gilbert and neo-soul artists Avery Sunshine and Tonya Dyson. Gates will open at 4:30 p.m. on Saturday and the whole show will likely run past midnight.

Blues and jazz are unique American contributions to world culture. The Bes-sie Smith Heritage Festival fulfills multiple purposes of entertainment, educa-tion and preservation by bringing these artists to their audience. Many music fans aspire to hear innovative artists, and venues like the Heritage Festival provide that opportunity.

Eric Essix was self-taught on guitar since he got his first instrument at about age 9. He grew up playing guitar in church in Birmingham, Al-

abama. Eventually, he attended and graduated from the celebrated Berklee College of Music in Boston. Essix currently serves as artistic co-ordinator at the Creative Performance Center at the University of Alabama at Birmingham.

It’s rather ironic that as a young child, Es-six found inspiration from the musical artists of the British Invasion. Of course, these art-ists were inspired by American blues and jazz

artists, whose records sold in England, but were sup-pressed in America. Con-sequently, this end-around transmission came to Essix when some of the original artists were not far from his home. Significantly, Birmingham was also a center of conflict in the civil rights movement, and churches helped to orga-nize this movement.

Essix explores diverse musical trends in his own music. His 2000 War-ner Broth-ers recording S o u t h b o u n d

worked with soul, gospel, country and r&b. Recently, Essix has had distribution from EMI. Recent recordings include Somewhere in Alabama and Birmingham. Essix continues his recording projects without a set band, but with other

musicians.The world is hungry for these American mu-

sic forms. Essix has played in Israel, Hungary and India. Bobby Rush has played in the Far East. When I spoke with Rush, he was record-ing a blues radio show in Chicago that was to be sent to Jackson, Mississippi and other towns. It would be excellent if Chattanooga were to be added to that list.

Essix explains that the new music business model can be hard on artists. The paradoxical situation comes from the fact that while much can be found, not so much is actually promot-ed. There has also developed a strong “aesthetic of the market” in film, publishing, music and in art, the idea that quality correlates with retail success. In the US, where education has been deteriorating for some time, “successful” work is often quite mediocre.

When I would visit with my friend, the late Harold Thomas Bowles Jr., he would be play-ing the most amazing jazz on his home system. One of the best ways to hear the best music emerges through festival venues like the Bessie Smith Heritage Festival. Go and enjoy!

Bringing It Back for BessieBy Michael Crumb, Pulse Arts Writer

“The Bessie Smith Heritage Festival

continues to bring superlative

talent to Chattanooga, showcasing

the best artists in blues, jazz

and more contemporary

soul forms.” Bessie Smith Heritage Festival$35 advance, $40 at gate$50 premier, $75 deluxe, $100 VIPSaturday, August 205 p.m. – midnightBessie Smith Cultural Center, 200 E. MLK Blvd.(423) 266-8658. www.bessiesmithheritagefestival.com

FeatureARTS


Arts & Events CalendarARTS

ThursdayDynamo of Dixie Downtown Tour10 a.m. Sheraton Read House, 827 Broad St. (423) 228-0448. www.chattanoogasidewalktours.comArt + Issues: Inner Strength6 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 266-0944. www.huntermuseum.orgHandsOn Hunter: Photography and the Civil War6 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 266-0944. www.huntermuseum.orgPhotographic Society of Chattanooga6 p.m. St. John’s United Methodist Church, 3921 Murray Hills Dr. www.chattanoogaphoto.orgAEC Back Row Film Series: Art & Copy6 p.m. Lindsay Street Hall, 901 Lindsay St. www.backrowfilms.comBluff and Bridges Downtown Tour7 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 1 Walnut St. (423) 228-0448. www.chattanoogasidewalktours.comMystery of the TV Talk Show7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 1 38 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com

Lookouts vs. Carolina Mudcats7:15 p.m. AT&T Field, 201 Power Alley. (423) 267-2208. www.lookouts.comD.L. Hughley8 p.m. The Comedy Catch & Giggles Grille, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.comChattanooga Ghost Tour8:15 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 100 Walnut St. (423) 821-7125. www.chattanoogaghosttours.com

FridayDynamo of Dixie Downtown Tour10 a.m. Sheraton Read House, 827 Broad St. (423) 228-0448. www.chattanoogasidewalktours.comFresh on Fridays Marketplace11 a.m. Miller Plaza Pavilion, 850 Market St. (423) 265-3700.Born to be Wild 3D6, 8 p.m. Aquarium IMAX Theater, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695. www.tnaqua.orgUltimate Wave Tahiti 3D7, 9 p.m. Aquarium IMAX Theater, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695. www.tnaqua.orgMystery of Flight 1387 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.comBluff and Bridges Downtown Tour7 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 1 Walnut St. (423) 228-0448. www.chattanoogasidewalktours.comLookouts vs. Carolina Mudcats7:15 p.m. AT&T Field, 201 Power Alley. (423) 267-2208. www.lookouts.comLive Music Hafla7:30 p.m. Learn 2 Bellydance Studio, 5950 Shallowford Rd.

D.L. Hughley7:30, 10 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.comThe Comedy of Errors7:30 p.m. Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 1918 Union Ave. (423) 987-5141. ensembletheatreofchattanooga.comLuck of the Draw7:30 p.m. Chattanooga State, 4501 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 697-3207. www.chattanoogastate.eduManifest Arts Showcase8 p.m. The CampHouse, 1427 Williams St.Chattanooga Ghost Tour8:15 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 100 Walnut St. (423) 821-7125. www.chattanoogaghosttours.comLive Team Trivia9 p.m. Amigo’s Mexican Restaurant, 5450 Hwy 153. (423) 875-8049. www.chattanoogatrivia.comStand Up Comedy! Ryan Dalton9:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.comFemale Impersonation ShowMidnight. Images Showbar, 6065 Lee Hwy. (423) 855-8210. www.imagesbar.com

SaturdayChattanooga Mud Run9 a.m. Greenway Farms, 5051 Gann Store Rd. www.chattanoogamudrun.comDynamo of Dixie Downtown Tour10 a.m. Sheraton Read House, 827 Broad St. (423) 228-0448. www.chattanoogasidewalktours.comBrainerd Farmers Market10 a.m. Grace Episcopal Church, 20 Belvoir Ave. (423) 458-6281.

Chattanooga River Market10 a.m. Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (423) 648-2496. www.chattanoogamarket.comArt till DarkNoon. 40 Frazier Ave. (423) 413-8999. www.arttildark.comRock City Summer Music SeriesNoon. Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd. Lookout Mountain. (800) 854-0675. Luau Open HouseNoon. Georgia Winery, 6469 Battlefield Pkwy. (706) 937-9860. www.georgiawines.comStrike for Education Rock ‘n Bowl2 p.m. Holiday Bowl, 5518 Brainerd Rd. (423) 892-4488. www.jachatt.orgArts Live: Dance Around the World2 p.m. Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St. (423) 648-6043. www.cdmfun.orgThe Comedy of Errors2 p.m. Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 1918 Union Ave. (423) 987-5141. Book Signing: Chattanooga Refugees: The Diary of Josephine Hooke2 p.m. Chattanooga-Hamilton County Bicentennial Library, 1001 Broad St. (423) 757-5310. lib.chattanooga.gov

Art & CopyDoc about ad campaigns that have changed our lives.$156 p.m. reception, 7 p.m, screening, 8 p.m. discussionLindsay Street Hall, 901 Lindsay St.www.backrowfilms.com

Luck of the DrawImprovised musical is different every time.

$107:30 p.m.

Chattanooga State, Humanities Theatre,

4501 Amnicola Highway(423) 697-3246

THURSDAY FRIDAY


Artist Talk Back and Demonstration: Eric Essix3 p.m. The Foundry, 1201 South Broad St. (423) 266-8658. www.bessiesmithheritagefestival.comBessie Smith Heritage Festival5 p.m. Bessie Smith Cultural Center, 200 E. Martin Luther King Blvd. (423) 266-8658. www.bessiesmithheritagefestival.comMystery at the Nightmare Office Party5:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.comBorn to be Wild 3D6, 8 p.m. IMAX Theater, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695. www.tnaqua.orgSwamp Romp6:30 p.m. First Tennesee Pavilion, 1826 Carter St. (423) 266-4041Summer in the City V7 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5050. chattanoogasummerinthecity.orgBluff and Bridges Downtown Tour7 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 1 Walnut St. (423) 228-0448. www.chattanoogasidewalktours.comUltimate Wave Tahiti 3D7, 9 p.m. Aquarium IMAX Theater, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695. www.tnaqua.org

D.L. Hughley7, 9:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.comLookouts vs. Carolina Mudcats7:15 p.m. AT&T Field, 2 01 Power Alley. (423) 267-2208. www.lookouts.comLuck of the Draw7:30 p.m. Chattanooga State, 4501 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 697-3207. www.chattanoogastate.eduBellydance Showcase8 p.m. Learn 2 Bellydance Studio, 5950 Shallowford Rd.Mystery at the Redneck-Italian Wedding8 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.comChattanooga Ghost Hunt9:30 p.m. Patten Chapel, 615 McCallie Ave. (423) 821-7125. www.chattanoogaghosttours.comStand Up Comedy! Ryan Dalton10:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. Female Impersonation ShowMidnight. Images Showbar, 6065 Lee Hwy. (423) 855-8210. www.imagesbar.com

SundayDynamo of Dixie Downtown Tour10 a.m. Sheraton Read House, 827 Broad St. (423) 228-0448. www.chattanoogasidewalktours.comChattanooga Market11 a.m. First Tennesee Pavilion, 1826 Reggie White Blvd. www.chattanoogamarket.comRock City Summer Music SeriesNoon. Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd. Lookout Mountain. (800) 854-0675.

Strike for Education Rock ‘n Bowl2 p.m. Holiday Bowl, 5518 Brainerd Rd. (423) 892-4488. www.jachatt.orgChattanooga Book Arts Collaborative Meeting2 p.m. CreateHere, 55 East Main St. chattanoogabookarts.blogspot.comLuck of the Draw2:30 p.m. Chattanooga State, 4501 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 697-3207. www.chattanoogastate.eduThe Comedy of Errors6:30 p.m. Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 1918 Union Ave. (423) 987-5141. ensembletheatreofchattanooga.comBluff and Bridges Downtown Tour7 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 1 Walnut St. (423) 228-0448. DJ Lewis’ Swinging Ball8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.comMovie Night8 p.m. Sluggo’s North Vegetarian Cafe, 501 Cherokee Blvd. (423) 752-5224.Chattanooga Ghost Tour8:15 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 100 Walnut St. (423) 821-7125.

MondayDynamo of Dixie Downtown Tour10 a.m. Sheraton Read House, 827 Broad St. (423) 228-0448. www.chattanoogasidewalktours.comBluff and Bridges Downtown Tour7 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 1 Walnut St. (423) 228-0448. 92nd Street Y Lecture Series7:30 p.m. Jewish Cultural Center, 5461 N. Terrace Rd. (423) 493-0270. www.jewishchattanooga.com

Chattanooga Ghost Tour8:15 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 100 Walnut St. (423) 821-7125. www.chattanoogaghosttours.com

TuesdayChattanooga Ghost Tour8:15 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 100 Walnut St. (423) 821-7125. www.chattanoogaghosttours.com

WednesdayDynamo of Dixie Downtown Tour10 a.m. Sheraton Read House, 827 Broad St. (423) 228-0448. www.chattanoogasidewalktours.comChattanooga Area Chamber of Commerce’s Annual Meeting11:30 a.m. Chattanooga Convention Center, 1150 Carter St. (423) 756-0001Main Street Farmers Market4 p.m. Main St. at Williams St. www.mainstfarmersmarket.comBluff and Bridges Downtown Tour7 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 1 Walnut St. (423) 228-0448. Joseph Campbell Summer Roundtable: Awakening in the Context of the Hero’s Journey7 p.m. Undercroft, Grace Episcopal Church, 20 Belvoir Ave.

Arts & Events CalendarARTS

Bessie Smith Heritage FestivalArt, food and of course, music!$355 p.m. - midnightBessie Smith Cultural Center, 200 E. MLK Blvd.(423) 266-8658.

Chattanooga Book Arts Collaborative

MeetingLearn how to make

handmade books.Free

2 – 5 p.m.CreateHere,

55 E. Main St.

SATURDAY SUNDAY


Last week our dear friend Dave broke the news: Summer is almost over. So here we are, heading back to school, trying to fit in that last-minute vacation, and deciding if you really want to go see Cowboys & Aliens. Summer for most is a sense of “Me Time.”

Me wanna party, Me wanna sunbathe, Me wanna ride a roller coaster, and hey, who blames ya? Not Me. The beach is definitely the way to go, but it is easy to forget about those less fortunate. The heat can cause as many issues as the cold and disease doesn’t care that we’re on vacation. We had a hard summer with weather and the amazing people helped those in need are commended, but it is very easy to go into what I have heard called “charity fatigue”. This Saturday

night you can shake it off and give back whether you want to go glam, get muddy, or rock out with your bike out.

Glam StyleSummer in The City will be for my red-carpet Old

Hollywood Wannabes. The days of Marilyn are not lost and Fred Astaire-like tunes will fill the air in support of the Chattanooga chapter of the American Cancer Society. The event will begin at the Tivoli Theatre with local cuisine, a silent auction and live music from Divine Jazz’s Joy. Specializing in 1940s (and beyond) stylings this musician, vocalist and composer is a hit performing with local groups such as the UTC Jazz Band and Sweet Georgia Brown. For the late niters, there is an after-

party at the Read House that will take you waltzing or shaking your flappers into the midnight hour. Guests are encouraged to dress as their favorite Old Hollywood Star. Grace Kelly, Elizabeth Taylor or one of the Three Stooges—take your pick.

Summer in The City7 - 10 p.m. Tivoli Theatre. $7510 p.m. - Midnight Read House. $25www.chattanoogasummerinthecity.org

Mud BugsThis year, our friends at Habitat For Humanity are

adding spice to the evening of their Mud Run fundraiser. “The Swamp Romp” will cater to all those involved with getting dirty during the daytime 5K obstacle course held at Greenway Farms—but also give a chance for friends and those more into mud pie than mud flops to get down in support of the organization. The Swamp Romp will feature a Low Country Boil of perfect Southern proportion, outdoor games such as corn hole, and live music from Lon Eldridge, WTM Blues Band, and Zydeco legend C.J. Chenier with The Red Hot Louisiana Band.

Swamp RompThe First Tennessee Pavilion6:30 to 10:30 p.m.$65 for non-Mud Runners ($90 VIP)

$50 For Mud Runners ($75 VIP)www.chattanoogamudrun.com

Pedal RockersThe MainStreet

Bike Cooperative will be raising the volume to inform you of what happens when you mix bikes and rock-loving riders. In order to support the need for 501(c)(3) nonprofit status, Zac

Holford and the gang are pulling out the Future Virgins at JJ’s Bohemia. The mission for this group is to build and maintain a healthy biking community. Their community bike shop will support and educate every age and level of rider by offering many courses, such as how to build a bike from recycled parts and how to have one fit your body for its use. Knowing it is all about the kids, MSBC will offer an Earn a Bike Program giving kids the opportunity to build their own bike. Before the show, grab your two-wheeler and head to the St. Andrews Center. For six bucks, including admission to the show, you can get geared up by taking part in the scavenger-style Alley Cat Race that winds from Highland Park to the North Shore. As far as the show…it’s Future Virgins, duh. For more info/join/help, contact Zac Holford at (423) 987-1060.

MSBC FundraiserJJ’s Bohemia10:30 p.m.$6 mainstreetbikecoop.blogspot.com

“This Saturday night you can shake it off and give back whether you want to go glam, get muddy, or rock out with your bike out.”

Give and Get Glam, Get Mud Or Get Yo’ Bike OutFeatureMUSIC

By Tara V, Pulse Music Writer


One of many priceless moments in the mockumen-tary This Is Spinal Tap shows guitarist Ni-gel Tufnel perform-ing a cacophonous solo involving rub-bing a violin against

the guitar; mid-solo, he stops, clearly troubled, looks questioningly at the violin, quickly tunes one of its strings, and then resumes. This scene underscores one of the interesting yet some-times maddening questions that noise and other abstract music forms raises: how do you know when you’re doing it “right”? Merely causing sonic distress and discomfort is not enough—any teenager armed with an instrument, amp, and some guitar pedals can create an ungodly, terrifying mess of sounds.

Unlike pop music, there isn’t really a good, tried-and-true formula for avant-noise, but the new album One Bird Two Bird gets it right, be-ing one of the more intriguing noise-centered collaborations of recent memory. Formidable noise artist Masami Akita, best known as the man behind Merzbow, teams up with the balls-out Swedish free jazz saxophonist Mats Gustafs-son and the unclassifiable Jim O’Rourke—solo artist and frequent collaborator, former mem-ber of Gastr del Sol and Sonic Youth, and also Grammy-winning producer of a Wilco album.

Released on vinyl and as a digital download, One Bird Two Bird features two 20-minute long tracks and could be viewed as a test of tolerance. The mysterious, vaguely sci-fi electronic tones of “One Bird” are accompanied by low, slow sax bleats, gradually building its sonic ziggurat, un-til about 13 minutes in, when the sound drops out dramatically, leaving a plaintive, soft pitter-patter and pained sax moans. “Two Bird” is even more unpredictable, with Akita and O’Rourke shooting death rays and abrasive sonic shrap-nel blasts at each other, while Gustafsson toots like he’s about to blow an O-ring. Music that is simply loud can wear people out, but this album is different, allowing a hardy listener to feed from its power; it is sort of like a horror film, which can instill fear yet also make you feel a little braver in the end. — Ernie Paik

When hearing the title of the new full-length from the Seattle hip-hop concern Sha-bazz Palaces, Black Up, I immediately thought it was a variation of “man

up”—something you say to a fellow when he should rise to the occasion (or, more bluntly, to grow a pair.) Urban Dictionary says it’s a vari-ant of “backup” in the context of a fight (“Call for black up!”), and Googling reveals even more wildly differing definitions, including the act of a white person applying blackface makeup. The ambiguous title is perfect for this release, which is quite possibly the most lyrically complex and oblique album I’ve encountered this year. The wordplay is dizzying and often impenetrable, and even during its most relatively straightforward moments, it taunts the listener, challenging him to keep searching—example A is the love song mind-bogglingly entitled “A Treatease Dedicat-ed to the Avian Airess from North East Nubis (1000 Questions, 1 Answer).”

All of this seems appropriate for Shabazz Pal-aces, a band shrouded in mystery; its front man, former Digable Planets member Ishmael Butler (a.k.a. Palaceer Lazaro), is reluctant to provide many details or explanations, preferring to let critics and fans sort it all out. Musically, Black Up distinguishes itself with beats that lurch along compellingly, avoiding the well-trod sample ter-ritory, and sliced-and-diced jazz samples as an embrace of both the artificial and the organic; oddly, the album sounds dense while leaning to-ward minimalism and favoring restraint, at times using the female duo THEESatisfaction effec-tively.

Allusional slivers pop up on Black Up, like the reference to the Muhammad Ali/Joe Frazier fight in “Recollections of the Wraith,” while the album remains thematically hazy, on purpose. These are complicated stories, and it seems like Black Up is all too happy to open itself up for wide interpretations (the line “Clear some space out so we can space out” seems to mirror this sentiment.) By the end of the album it’s still un-clear what “black up” means, and the bookend references to being free (first “I’m free” then “Black is free”) may hint that the album is less of an articulation than an open-ended narration with many possibilities—one question, a thou-sand answers. — Ernie Paik

New Music ReviewsMUSIC

Akita, Gustafsson & O’RourkeOne Bird Two Bird(Editions Mego)

Shabazz PalacesBlack Up(Sub Pop)


ThursdayBen Friberg Trio7 p.m. Table 2, 232 E. 11th St. (423) 756-8253. www.table2restaurant.comAudience Choice Night7 p.m. McHale’s Brewhouse, 724 Ashland Ter. (423) 877-2124. www.mchalesbrewhouse.comBlues Jam with Rick Rushing7:30 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St., #100. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.comBuckner Brothers8 p.m. The Lounge at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.comJimmy Harris8 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. Zack Cooper (Ed. Note: Not the Pulse publisher)8 p.m. Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Dr., Ringgold. (706) 965-2065. www.ringgoldacoustic.comJohn Paul Keith, Bohannons9 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192. www.thehonestpint.com

Comedy Night9 p.m. The Office (inside Days Inn), 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191.Gabe Newell9 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pk. (423) 266-1996. www.tremonttavern.comMindy Smith9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. www.rhythm-brews.com

Friday Johnny Cash Tribute Band5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo Victorian Lounge, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000. www.choochoo.com/localeventsJimmy Harris6:30 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.comThe Most Important Band in the World6:30 p.m. Southside Bistro & Saloon, 1301 Chestnut St. (423) 757-4730. www.southsidesaloonandbistro.comThe Rising, Last Flight Out, Inherit, The Kingdom, Soul Gate 77 p.m. The Warehouse, 412 Market St. www.warehousevenue.comMichelle Young & Pontiac Blue7 p.m. Nightfall Concert Series, Miller Plaza., Market St. www.nightfallchattanooga.comJohnston & Brown8 p.m. Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Dr., Ringgold. (706) 965-2065. www.ringgoldacoustic.comMichael Burks8 p.m. Nightfall Concert Series, Miller Plaza, Market St. www.nightfallchattanooga.com

The Brian Collins Band9 p.m. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919. www.myspace.com/jimstrikerThe Pool9 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956. www.sugarsribs.comBlake Morrison10 p.m. T-Bones Cafe, 1419 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4240. www.tboneschattanooga.comBlair Crimmins and The Hookers10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemiaMoon Taxi, HeyPenny10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St www.rhythm-brews.comMichelle Young & Pontiac Blue10 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St., #100. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.comCody Harris10 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pk. (423) 266-1996. www.tremonttavern.comBud Lightning10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878. www.budssportsbar.com

Saturday Uptown Big Band10 a.m. Chattanooga River Market, Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (423) 265-0698. www.chattanoogamarket.com Ogya Trio10 a.m. The Incline Railway, 3917 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 821-4224. www.ridetheincline.com

New Binkley BrothersNoon. Rock City Summer Music Weekends, 1400 Patten Rd., Lookout Mtn. www.seerockcity.comEric Essix3 p.m. The Foundry at the Chattanoogan, 1201 S. Broad St. (423) 756-3400. www.thechattanooganhotel.comJohnny Cash Tribute Band5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo Victorian Lounge, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000. www.choochoo.com/localeventsHargerty and DeYoung6:30 p.m. Southside Bistro & Saloon, 1301 Chestnut St. (423) 757-4730. www.southsidesaloonandbistro.comSwamp Romp6:30 p.m. First Tennessee Pavilion, 1826 Reggie White Blvd. www.chattanoogamudrun.comJimmy Harris6:30 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com Ded Baby Robots, Johnny Dropout, Tony Holiday7 p.m. Backstage Lounge at the Holiday Bowl, 5518 Brainerd Rd. (423) 899-2695. www.holidaybowlbrainerd.com

John Paul Keith, Bohannons, LarcenistJPK is a stellar songwriter, “blistering” guitarist.$59 p.m.The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy.(423) 468-4192. www.thehonestpint.com

Moon Taxi, HeypennyLocals Heypenny rock their

release A Jillion Kicks.$7

9:30 p.m.Rhythm & Brews,

221 Market St.(423) 267-4644.

www.rhythm-brews.com

Concert Calendar MUSIC

THURSDAY FRIDAY


Summer in the City7 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St. chattanoogasummerinthecity.orgCrazy Night of Worship with Alan Keen Band, Ryan Wynne Band, Eric Hayes Band7 p.m. The Warehouse, 412 Market St. www.warehousevenue.comInfinite Orange, Soul Mechanic7:30 p.m. The CampHouse, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081. www.thecamphouse.comTom Smith8 p.m. Charles and Myrtle’s Coffeehouse, 105 McBrien Rd. (423) 892-4960. www.christunity.org/eventsRoger Alan Wade8 p.m. Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Dr., Ringgold. (706) 965-2065. www.ringgoldacoustic.comDJ Sammy Bananas, Flux 308, K78 p.m. The Crash Pad, 29 Johnson St. (423) 648-8393. Find them on Facebook.Yarn8 p.m. Riverfront Nights, 200 Riverfront Pkwy. www.riverfrontnights.com

The Brian Collins Band9 p.m. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919. www.myspace.com/jimstrikerBilly Hopkins9 p.m. The Office (inside Days Inn), 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191. www.facebook.com/theofficechattCatheads9 p.m. McHale’s Brewhouse, 724 Ashland Ter. (423) 877-2124. www.mchalesbrewhouse.comThe Pool9 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956. www.sugarsribs.comFilament10 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St., #100. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.comGabe Newell & Muddy Soul10 p.m. T-Bones Cafe, 1419 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4240. www.tboneschattanooga.comVelcro Pygmies10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. Brian Hensley, Future Virgins: Main Street Bike Cooperative Fundraiser10:30 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. mainstreetbikecoop.blogspot.comNathan Farrow10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878. www.budssportsbar.com

Sunday New Binkley BrothersNoon. Rock City Summer Music Weekends, 1400 Patten Rd., Lookout Mtn. www.seerockcity.comJeff Miller12:30 p.m. Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (423) 265-0698.

Chris Hale12:30 p.m. Chattanooga Market, First Tennessee Pavilion, 1829 Carter St. www.chattanoogamarket.comTym Priest2 p.m. Chattanooga Market, First Tennessee Pavilion, 1829 Carter St. www.chattanoogamarket.comIrish Music Session3 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192. www.thehonestpint.comFree Range Mystics3 p.m. Pasha Coffee and Tea, 3914 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 475-5482. www.pashacoffeehouse.comDennis Phillips Benefit5 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. www.rhythm-brews.comOpen Mic with Mike McDade7 p.m. The Office (inside Days Inn), 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191.The Get Reels8 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192. www.thehonestpint.comFaded, Seraphim, Khana10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

Monday Old Tyme Players7 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St., #100. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.comAJ Cheek7 p.m. Pasha Coffee and Tea, 3914 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 475-5482. www.pashacoffeehouse.comBig Band Night8 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com

Tuesday Open Mic with Mike McDade9 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pk. (423) 266-1996. www.tremonttavern.com

WednesdayJimmy Harris6:30 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. Ben Friberg Trio7 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St., #100. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.comPrime Cut Trio8 p.m. The Lounge at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. Johnson’s Crossroads, Gabriel Newell, Muddy Soul9 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192. www.thehonestpint.comDJ ScubaSteve hosts Jenntastic Wednesdays - Open Mic/Karaoke/Poetry/Comedy/Local Music9 p.m. Holiday Bowl, 5518 Brainerd Rd. (423) 899-2695. www.holidaybowlbrainerd.com

Concert Calendar MUSIC

Island Dance Party with DJ Sammy Bananas, Flux 308, K7Tiki rules at the Crash Pad.$58 p.m. The Crash Pad, 29 Johnson St.(423) 648-8393. Find them on Facebook.

Faded, Seraphim, Khana

Another hip summer Sunday night at JJ’s.

$710 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400. myspace.com/jjsbohemia

SATURDAY SUNDAY


Even when you’re my age, no one should be worried about how soon the hereafter will be here. The deaths of a few friends my age during the past few months have made me assess my own mortality as thoroughly as the prostate exam I endure each year to help ensure immortality.

It’s sad when anyone passes on, but it’s even sadder when that person was a young, adventurous sort who lapped up everything life has to offer. Whether it’s by accident, illness or their own hand, “dying young and leaving a good-looking corpse” is about as romantic a notion as a subway trench-coat flasher.

I’m not sure how I would deal with the inevitable if I were diagnosed with a more-than-likely terminal illness. I’ve written lately about the plight of one of my dearest friends who, much to my sadness, passed away last week as the result of a debilitating disease, the likes of which hadn’t even shown its filthy cells this time last year.

The last time I saw him was a few weeks ago when he made one last pilgrimage to his hometown to see his homies, like myself, who are still here waving the freak flag he helped us create many years ago. Everyone at the event, but most especially John, knew that would be the last time we all laughed, hugged and kissed again. In fact, John’s bravery as he accepted our tearful goodbyes was one of the most heroic things I’ve ever witnessed. I don’t think I could ever be that guy.

But I am one of the guys who are left to mourn the loss of a friend just three years older than me. The news of his dying was more of a relief than a shock for those who knew the pain he was enduring and the events over the past few months that led up to his sad demise. Along the way, we friends tried to keep up his spirits by posting all kinds of stories, photos, inside jokes and music to his Facebook page,

which he checked and responded to daily. They say when you die your life flashes before your eyes. John had a few months of summing his up, and I’m sure he was proud of what he saw.

I don’t know which is worse—walking out in front of a bus one morning or knowing that the end is coming…eventually. I guess if we all have to go someday, it’s a valid comparison. I had another dear friend pass away this year in an instant. It was shocking at the time, and still is, because she was the last person you would have expected to go—especially at just 39 years old. When I heard the news, like many, I couldn’t get the thought out of my head for a couple of weeks. I was mourning her constantly. But over time the mourning slowly dissipated into a more manageable kind of grief.

Not to sound crass in any way, but dealing with the immediate, unexpected death of a loved one is like ripping off a Band-Aid. It hurts real bad at first, but

gets better a little quicker. Prolonging the agony by slowly working the adhesive from your tender skin just makes smaller pains occur more often until there’s nothing left to pull.

My friends and I have been mourning John’s situation since his Thanksgiving diagnosis. We knew that pancreatic cancer meant a matter of months, not years, and even effective treatment might only grant another birthday. So we helped him fill his last few months reliving the memories of his first 47 years. And I think that even with the pain he was enduring during that time, he might have seen this as a blessing, in light of his curse.

As we joined together to help John, something strange happened. Friends from the past who might as well have been living on another planet orbited around again. Those who were close to me 10, 15, 20 years now have my email address. We are all reconnecting, tending our roots, and while we still believe life goes on, it doesn’t necessarily have to go on without each other any more.

People mourn in different ways. Some keep their loved one’s memory alive through a still-existent Facebook profile, some choose rear-window decal memorials, and others, tattoos. I think the legacy of John that I’ll carry with me is the fact that he made us all appreciate each other once again. He certainly was the glue back in the day. And now he’s the bond that’ll keep us together now.

No matter how I end up meeting my maker, I can only hope that I leave a slight hint of the mark John and others have made in my life.

You never know when it’s coming, how it will end, or what you end up leaving behind. Make sure it’s all good.

“They say when you die your life flashes

before your eyes. John had a few

months of summing his up, and I’m sure

he was proud of what he saw.”

Right Here In The Hereafter

Chuck Crowder

Life In The ‘NoogOPINION

Chuck Crowder is a local writer and general man about town. His opinions are just that. Everything expressed is loosely based on fact, and crap he hears people talking about. Take what you just read with a grain of salt, but pepper it in your thoughts.


There’s something just a little bit different about Flatiron Deli. Actually, there’s quite a bit differ-ent, and owners Brandy O’Neal and Amy Alexan-der (also known as Shnooks and Cookie, respectively) wouldn’t have it any other way.

Flatiron’s departure from your stereotypi-cal deli starts at the front door. Stepping inside, the cozy space beckons with its peculiar brand of retro multiculturalism. On the one hand, there are the exposed brick walls and antique-style soda adver-tisements. On the other, the windowsill at the end of my table held a miniature backgammon set and a cof-feetable book of Renoir. Free Wi-Fi coupled with Damian Marley and Sublime playing from the radio in the home-style kitchen completed the feel—I was already more relaxed than I’d ever been in a deli, and I hadn’t even seen the menu yet.

Luckily, the menu treads the same line. Shnooks and Cookie bought Flatiron three years ago, and kept the best of the old menu while adding their own unique tastes. Joining deli classics like BLTs and The Sobieski (Flatiron’s take on the Reuben) are options like Cookie’s Veggie, with pesto, mozzarella, and roasted seasonal veggies in a spinach wrap, and The Torpedo, with ham, salami, turkey, and mozzarella. Several sandwiches, The Torpedo included, are avail-able one of two ways: Southern-style, with mustard and coleslaw, or Italian-style, loaded with olives, pep-peroncini, onion, lettuce, tomato, mustard, and vin-aigrette. (Whew.)

Besides sandwiches, Flatiron’s lunch options in-clude multiple salads, both traditional and innova-

tive, baked potatoes with a variety of toppings, and a striking array of side dishes, from cornbread salad and chipotle pinto beans to changing options, which on my visit included a summer vegetable tabouli and a watermelon and cucumber salad.

I chose the King Edward, a truly gargantuan triple-decker sandwich consisting of rotisserie chicken, crisp bacon, American cheese, lettuce, tomato, and may-onnaise on Texas toast. I held off on ordering a side, which turned out to be a wise decision—I couldn’t finish this monster. The textures and flavors at play made me mourn that fact. You might go through a few more napkins than you would on your average lunch break, but the King Edward is well worth the extra effort.

Service is generally pretty quick for a sit-down meal, but if you’re in a particular rush, you can call your order in ahead of time. For that matter, Flatiron offers catering—and with their line-up, you may find

yourself scrambling for ex-cuses to have an office par-ty. In addition to sandwich and fruit trays, they offer hot meals, with sides and desserts included! Chicken Parmesan, Baked Ham, and Pork Tenderloin are just a few of your entrée options.

I haven’t even mentioned breakfast, served until 10 a.m. each weekday morn-ing. Cheddar Jalapeno Biscuits and croissants are each available topped with ham, bacon, or sausage, in addition to breakfast sandwiches. The muffins available change daily, like so much else here. Fruit smoothies are available as well, in case you’re not big on big breakfasts.

The biggest difference between Flatiron Deli and other delis might just be the staff, half of which is the aforementioned Shnooks

and Cookie. “The owners are always here,” O’Neal told me. “Three of us make all the food. There’s noth-ing prefab. We do all the cooking—we even buy our own produce locally.” That’s definitely something the chain stores can’t claim.

In the three years they’ve owned the place, Brandy and Amy have made Flatiron Deli their own, and built up a good number of regulars in the process. Given their location and the freshness of their food, that’s not really a surprise. Once you give them a shot, don’t be surprised if you count yourself among them. Their uniqueness will draw you in, but the flavors are what will keep you coming back.

Flatiron Deli, 706 Walnut Street. Monday through Thursday, 8 a.m. to 3 p.m. Friday, 8 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. Call (423) 266-2620 or visit www.flatiron-deli.com for more information.

Dining Out In Chattanooga

By D.E. Langley, Pulse Food Reviewer • Photography by Zach Leavell

Flatiron Does Deli Differently

“The owners are always here,” O’Neal told me. “Three of us make all the food. There’s nothing prefab. We do all the

cooking—we even buy our own produce locally.”


It is folly to view the past through the lens of the present. The past is full of disappointment and missed opportunities. People are always more primitive, full of complex rationaliza-tions for prejudice, and can at times make the present seem positively utopian. The further back one goes, the truer this becomes. Most of us cannot imagine living in a feudal system; many of us find Social Darwinism to be laughably misguided; all of us see slavery as a dark chapter in our nation’s history. But when the past is relatively recent, and the ideas continue to be unbelievably backward, it becomes much harder to re-serve judgment.

The Help is a film that ear-nestly tries to show where we were as a country, to tell the story of the perpetually disen-franchised black population liv-ing in segregated Mississippi in the early 1960s. It faithfully re-produces the feel of the Kath-ryn Stockett novel of the same name, developing the themes so effectively that it ultimately suffers from the same flaws. The novel paints segregation with a wide brush that glosses the dangerous realities of Jim

Crow into mere rumor and vaporous fear. The movie does the same. Both stories have moments of poignancy (the film in particular has wonderful performances by the maids), but the story itself misses its chance at being truly remarkable. The source material here is very good; the novel is a bestseller for a reason. Had the filmmakers taken the chances the author didn’t, the film could have been Academy Award-winning.

The American Dream is in full swing in early 1960s Jackson, Mississippi. White families are successfully carving out lives of opulence, even if it is only a pretense for staying above water. The Help focuses on the women of Jackson, their

Southern affectations in full bloom, who fill their lives with childbearing and use-less clubs. They play bridge weekly, throw lavish parties and gossip about each other. These luxuries are afforded them on the backs of their black “help”, the ladies who raise their children and keep their houses. These women raise white children, love them, and see them turn into their parents. Eugenia “Skeeter” Phelan (Emma Stone) was raised by a black maid. She comes home from col-lege to learn that her caretaker of 29 years has unexpectedly left her family’s employment and moved to Chicago. She is told that black maids always move on eventually because “it’s only about money with them.”

Skeeter is not convinced. She lands a job at the Jackson Journal writing a cleaning column (for which she has no talent, as she’s never had to clean in her life), but dreams of being a real journalist. While she lives in the white, clean social world of the upper class, she is not of it. She takes issue with Junior League leader Hilly Holbrook’s (Bryce Dallas Howard) asser-tion that black people have different diseases than whites, and should therefore be forced to use different toilets. Skeeter decides that she wants to write down the stories of the black maids of Jackson, to show the world and her community a different perspective. Because she needs someone to help her write her column, she turns to Abileen (Viola Davis), the maid of a friend, and the woman who becomes the emotional center of the film and the nexus of stories that lead to a brave book for change in Jackson.

This subject is packed with raw, visceral emotion. Yet, save for a few scenes, the film is tame and at times comedic. Judg-ing from the trailer, audiences might even expect a comedy. It is true that time lessens impact, allowing for humor to be

applied to serious situa-tions. The film wants us to laugh at the absurd beliefs of the women of Jackson. But segrega-tion wasn’t funny; it was tragic. Hilly Holbrook is the picture of evil—she is the type of person who can have a woman she employs be brutalized by police, watching with her 5-year-old son in tow, and then without any sense of irony, raise money for

poor African children. She lords her position over the other women in the Junior League, leading through intimidation and the threat of excommunication. She is as clear an example of the destructive potential of affluence as she is a poster child for bigots. But we are to laugh at her misfortunes, despite the lives she’s destroyed and the lessons she’s ignored.

The Help wants to be a source of inspiration, a film about strong women. It succeeds in several places. But no mat-ter what happens, segregation wins. Any attempt at a silver lining seems a bit dishonest. Any schadenfreude felt at the end is empty, as nothing substantial has changed. We as an audience know that the country will eventually change. The characters don’t. They continue to live in a hateful, dangerous society. Had this been better reflected, The Help would have achieved the lofty goal it set for itself. And that would have really been something.

Film FeatureSCREEN

Glossing Over Hate in The HelpBy John DeVore, Pulse Film Critic

“The film wants us to laugh at the absurd beliefs of the women of Jackson. But segregation wasn’t funny; it was tragic.”

The HelpDirected by Tate TaylorStarring Viola Davis, Octavia Spencer, Emma Stone, Bryce Dallas HowardRated PG-13Running time: 2 hours, 17 minutes


Solution To Last Week's Crossword

Free Will AstrologyENTERTAINMENT

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Science writer K.C. Cole asks this question: “How would you hold 100 tons of water in thin air with no visible means of support?” Here’s her answer: “Build a cloud.” What you have before you right now, Leo, is a comparable scenario. Your assignment is to materialize a phenomenon that from a certain viewpoint may appear to be laughably impossible. And yet, with the proper at-titude on your part and nature’s help, the project at hand is eminently achievable. It won’t necessarily be fast and easy, mind you—but you wouldn’t want it to be, because then it wouldn’t be able to teach you all the precious wisdom it has to impart.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): “Dear Astrology Guy: Thank you kindly for your assistance. One of your horoscopes gave me a kick in the butt that propelled me free of a trap I had stupidly agreed to stay stuck in. At the same time, I also have to tell you to go to hell, because no one, including me, likes hearing the awful, embarrassing truth. As much healing as your words helped bring me, they also stung my pride. Love and hate, Virgo.” Dear Virgo: You’re welcome and I’m sorry. It’s good to hear you’re able to appreciate the gifts of paradox. Let’s hope that will keep you creatively humble as you slip into an expansive building phase when your ego may be understandably prone to a bit of infla-tion.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Newsweek reported a fact that few Westerners know about: Nigeria is accustomed to ma-jor oil spills. Every year since the 1960s, the Niger Delta has been slammed with a spill as extensive as the Exxon Valdez, which was the second biggest oil catastrophe in U.S. history. “Large purple slicks cover once fertile fields,” said Newsweek, “and rivers are clogged with oil leaked de-cades ago.” My purpose in bringing this to your attention is not to depress you, Libra, but rather to inspire you. In the coming weeks, I hope you will make it your passion to uncover injustices you’ve been unaware of, including those close to home. I think you’ll be amazed at how much this buoys your spirits. P.S.: You’ll get extra credit if you actu-ally take action to address the unfairness.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In the song “Fantasy World,” the lead singer of the band Pissed Jeans imagines himself in his happy place. “It’s Friday night and Saturday morning in my fantasy world / Sitting near piles of clothes and drinking a soda / with a slice of pizza in my fantasy world.” He’s not describing some unrealistic paradise where he can fly like an eagle and seduce anyone he wants and find gold bars under his pillow in the morning. Rather, he’s content with the simple, familiar pleasures. I urge you to follow his lead as you imagine and create your own fantasy world this week. Love what you’ve got.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): The highest unclimbed mountain in the world is Gangkhar Puensum, an almost 25,000-foot-tall beauty in Bhutan. It will remain free of human influence indefinitely, as local authorities are keen on preventing the environmental degradation that has oc-curred on popular peaks like Mt. Everest, where climbers have left lots of trash. What’s the equivalent in your sphere, Sagittarius? The most prominent unconquered prize? The Grail that still remains elusive? The virgin treasure your quest has not yet won? According to my analysis, you now have the potential to make tangible progress toward that goal. Unlike the case with Gangkhar Puensum, there are no rules or laws preventing you.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “Mommy, are scientists real?” the boy asked his mother. “Yes, son, they are,” she replied. “Do they make stuff that is dangerous?” continued the boy. “Sometimes they do,” said the mom. “Then I want to be one when I grow up,” concluded the boy. In the com-ing weeks, Capricorn, I see you as being like the boy. You’ll be in the mood to brainstorm about what you might like to evolve into, and your fantasies will tend to move in the di-

rection of what’s most adventurous and exciting. I urge you to fully indulge in those flights of fancy. It’s time to dream really big and really free.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “I got expelled from col-lege for cheating during my metaphysics final,” joked Woody Allen. “I got caught looking into the soul of the guy next to me.” Even if you’re not taking a big test for a meta-physics class, Aquarius, I urge you to do a lot of what Allen claimed he did: Gaze into the souls of those around you. It’s an excellent time, astrologically speaking, for you to escape the enclosed container of your own inner world and survey the raw truths and deep feelings that other people hold dear.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “I have no doubt that in real-ity the future will be vastly more surprising than anything I can imagine,” said pioneering geneticist J.B.S. Haldane. I share that view, and I think it’s good to keep in mind when-ever we’re tempted to rearrange our lives in accordance with the visions of those who predict the future, whether they be New Age prophets, indigenous elders, scientific experts, or political pundits. Nobody knows much of any-thing about how it’s all going to unfold! The future is not set in stone, but is totally up for grabs. The sooner you make that an everyday reminder, the more aggressive you’ll be-come about creating the life you want. Now is an excellent time to get the hang of it.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Time magazine asked Pulitzer Prize-winning historian David McCullough why he started writing a biography of Pablo Picasso but never finished it. McCullough said it was because the famous artist turned out to be boring. He attracted a steady flow of new lovers, and he made hundreds of paintings, but he didn’t actually live an interesting life. I’m urging you to be the anti-Picasso in the coming weeks, Aries. Put the emphasis on the qual-ity of your adventures more than on what you produce. Regard your life as your most important work of art.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “Let’s celebrate the first time you cried naked in someone else’s bed,” is a message on an e-card I found at Someecards.com. You might want to send that proposal to yourself, Taurus. It’s an excellent time to commemorate the rousing catharses of the past. You may find that revisiting the breakthrough epiphanies of yesteryear will help put you in the right frame of mind (and heart) to conjure up a fresh batch.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Why is it so hard for West-erners of the last two centuries to feel the intimate pres-ence of the divine intelligences? Every other culture in the history of the world has had a more vital connection with the realm of spirit. According to poet Gary Snyder, Cali-fornia’s Yana Indians explained it this way: The gods have retreated to the volcanic recesses of Mt. Lassen, passing the time playing gambling games with magic sticks. They’re simply waiting for such a time when human beings will “reform themselves and become ‘real people’ that spirits might want to associate with once again.” Here’s why I’m bringing this up, Gemini: I think that right now is a special time in your life when you have the power to become a “real person” with whom the spirits will want to have closer communion.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): I strongly advise you against purchasing and reading what some observers have called “the saddest book in the universe.” It’s a recipe book by Sonia Allison called Microwave for One (bit.ly/SadBook). No matter how inclined you might be to opt for excessive self-sufficiency right now, no matter how peeved you are at the human race for being so clumsy and ignorant, I believe you must keep trying to reach out and touch those who are touchable, even if they’re barely so. You need what people have to offer you, even if it’s sloppy, wimpy, or kooky.


Jonesin' Crossword — "To Be Announced"ENTERTAINMENT

Jonesin' Crossword created By Matt Jones. © 2011 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #0533

Across1 Head of the Paris police?5 “King” bad guy in Super Mario Bros.10 Love, Latin-style14 Former Israeli politician Abba ___15 On ___ (hot)16 Ring around the holy?17 Frequent activity for haberdashers?20 Spanish national hero21 Paving stuff22 Quick ___ wink23 Avenue in Oakland?28 Make really happy29 Town north of New York City32 Strauss-Kahn’s former org.35 French vacation spot36 Prefix meaning “skin”37 Why Haim didn’t want to party one night in the 1980s?42 “Rolling in the Deep” singer43 Mauna ___ (Aloha State volcano)44 The Concorde, for one

45 “The Sound of Music” teenager46 Soul singer Lou48 Request from the most relaxing talk radio host ever?54 “Licensed to ___” (Beastie Boys album)56 Bailed out insurance giant57 WWII hero Murphy58 Designed for shooting gross globs?63 “Whoa ___!”64 Perot, formally65 Collector’s item?66 Sandwich shop purchases67 “Grumpy Old Men” actor Davis68 Like ___ of sunshine

Down1 Little giggle2 Virus named for a Congolese river3 You may take a powder with them4 Put a stop to, as with a fight

5 Kal ___ (dog food brand)6 Nonprofit’s URL suffix7 “What a display!”8 River through Nebraska9 Site for vows10 They did theme to “The Living Daylights”11 “Masters of the Universe” character12 Automotive pioneer Ransom13 Parks of civil rights fame18 “I don’t know where ___ without it”19 Actress Song of “The Social Network”24 First letter of the Arabic alphabet25 Alma mater of Tony Shalhoub26 “Good Will Hunting” actor ___ Skarsgard27 Jealousy, the green-___ monster30 Brad Paisley has won a lot of them: abbr.31 “Critique of Pure Reason” philosopher32 Suffix after canon or class

33 Kal Penn, born Kalpen ___ (hidden in COMMODITIES)34 Scale a mountain without gear38 Fashion designer Schiaparelli39 Lambaste40 Pulls out of a parking spot?41 Island near Java46 Harsh conditions47 Baseball card factoid49 Printed piece of art, for short50 Late NFL star and “Police Academy” actor Smith51 Firefighter Red ___52 British singer/actress Black53 Rowland of Destiny’s Child54 Some PCs55 Poi party59 Vegas airport code60 “Help!”61 Omega preceder62 British verb suffix


Dear Readers,Your faithful Mexican is putting the

final touches to his coming magnum opus, Taco USA: How Mexican Food Conquered America (out April 2012) and is thus at the rancho, getting handmade tortillas made by his chica in pigtails while I work on rewrites. But instead of a Best Of columna, I’ve decided to print excerpts from one of my all-time favorite reader interactions.

Remember back in 2007, when I asked ustedes who are half-Mexican and half-something else to tell us what you call yourselves? The brilliant, hilarious responses offered show how genius the Mexi brain truly is.

Space doesn’t allow your local rag to print all the responses, but below are just some of the best. You can find the full list online—in the meanwhile, enjoy and see you in una semana!

If you’re half-Mexican and. . .

Half-anything: Inbetweener-beaner.

Half-Arab: Garbanzo beaner, America’s worst nightmare.

Half-Black: Black beans, Blaxican, Bro-Vato, Choco-Taco, Choligger, Mack, Mexiblack, Mexicoon, Negrexican, Tino Noir, Watermexican, Wetblack.

Half-British: Limey beans.

Half-Cajun: Bayou Beaner, Mexi-Gumbo, Mexicajun, Red Beans & Rice.

Half-Chinese: Chexican, Chinacan, Chinkano, Combination Plate, Mexinese, rice ‘n’ beans, soy bean.

Half-Czech: Czecano, Czex-Mex, Czexican, Mexislovakian.

Half-Eskimo: Mexkimo.

Half-French: Frenchican.

Half-Gabacho: Amerilanga (combination of American and chilanga, nickname for someone from Mexico City), Caucano, Chicangüera, Gabaxicano, GMC (Gringo-Mexico cross), Güerexican, Latinglo, Mexiglos, Mixican, Pochingo (half-pocho, half-gringo), Whispanic, white bean.

Half-German: Beanerschnitzel, chili kraut, Germexican, wiener beaner.

Half-Hippie: Hippsican.

Half-Irish: Celtic Aztec, green bean, Irlandicanos, Leprecano, McBeaner, McSpic, Mick Spic, O’Beaner, Paddy-Mex.

Half-Italian: Mexican pizza, Mexitalian, Spicawop, Spic-talian, Wopsican.

Half-Jewish: Jalapeño bagel, Jumex (also the name of a delicious Mexican fruit nectar drink), Kahlua-jewa, kosher burrito, Mexi-Jew.

Half-Norwegian: Lutefiskan, Mexinorske, Norskecan.

Half-Peruvian: Lima Bean.

Half-Polish: Bean Pole, Polo-Cholo, Polexican, Polexiqui (this particular gal was Yaqui Indian on her Mexican side; she also called herself a Mexipolaqui), Taco Polaco.

Half-Redneck: Rednexican, Redback, Wetneck.

Half-Scottish: McRiguez, Scottsican.

Half-Somali: Hot Somali.

Half-Ukrainian: Borscheros, Cossackeros, Kievicans, Pysankeros.

Half-White: Honky-Tonk, Gringateca, Mejiyanqui, Mexi-melts, Whics.

For even more ethnic slurs, visit "Ask A Mexican " online at www.ocweekly.com/2007-09-20/columns/ask-a-mexican

Gustavo Arellano

In Which We Gleefully Celebrate Ethnic Slurs

Ask A MexicanOPINION

Have a question? Ask the Mexican at [email protected], be his fan on Facebook, follow him on Twitter or ask him a video question at www.you-tube.com/askamexicano!

the pulse - vol. 8, issue 33

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