the 1, 2, 3s of positive parenting

8/14/2019 The 1, 2, 3S of Positive Parenting

http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/the-1-2-3s-of-positive-parenting 1/24



Appreciate the Value of PlayIt’s a Child’s Work.Play and exploration are the natural ways

your child learns and are critical forhealthy development. Even whenchildren misbehave, they are probably

trying to learn something.

a Make sure your children have enough time for play—at least anhour a day is suggested.

a Teach your children to experience beauty through their senses.

a Use natural materials found around the house or neighborhood.

a Model creative and spontaneous play.

a Resist the urge to direct or take over a child’s activity.

a Make sure that your children’s schedules are not overloaded withtoo many “enrichment” activities.

a Pick outside activities that stress positive values and fun-filled

learning over inappropriate competition.

T ips



a Take a walk with no time limit so your child can explore a leaf

or anthill or ANYTHING!a Cover a card table with old sheets and let children play house.

a Give children a bag of old clothes for make-believe.

a Play follow the leader.

a Collect “junk” on a walk and make it into artwork.

a Redirect unsafe exploration—if your children tear books, givethem old newspaper to tear.

a Keep a “surprise” activity box for rainy days.

a Turn off the television set and send your children out to play.

a Keep your children occupied while you shop by having themsort the objects in your grocery cart.

a

Have your children imitate adult activities: while you cook, giveyour child modeling clay, cookie cutters, rolling pins, and dullsilverware. When you do chores, give your child something tohammer, cut, dig in, rake, sweep, or dust. Let your child work alongside you.

a Have children’s books available when you sit down with themorning newspaper, so your child can “read” at the same time.

A c t ivit i e s



Learn How Children Develop and Know Your Unique Child.

Although each age and stage of achild’s development has commonfeatures, all children grow intheir own way and in their owntime. Getting to know your

own child will help you be amore effective parent. Don’t be afraid to combine infor-mation available in books, videos, and on the Internet

with your own knowledge of your unique child.

a Know all areas of your child’s development: physical,intellectual, social, emotional, and moral.

a Remember that there is nothing to be ashamed of if your child

needs special help to progress at his or her own best rate.

a Be sure your child’s doctor does developmental screenings orfind a program that offers them.

a Remember that when it comes to your child, the real parenting

expert is you.

T ips



a Browse through parenting books at a bookstore or library tofind what appeals to you.

a Check the library or community college for parenting videos.

a Take an adult education course on children.

a Take 10 minutes out to observe and cherish everything yourchild does—every sound, movement, and facial expression—andshare them with a friend or teacher.

a Watch for good television shows on child development.

a Take a parenting class.

A c t ivit i e s



Cherish Your Child’s IndividBuilding children’s self-confidence and

sense of self-worth are critical to theirfuture development. Contribute toyour children’s self-image by enjoying

them just the way they are, not asthey could be. Praise and nurture

their unique strengths and personality.Self-esteem influences all aspects of our lives.

a Spend quality time alone with each of your children every day.

a Avoid showing disappointment if your child doesn’t enjoy thesame things you do.

a Praise your children’s differences.

a Treat each child as an individual with his or her own strengths,needs, and unique characteristics.

a Avoid comparing children, or asking them why they can’t be likesomeone else.

a Support your child’s interests and hobbies.

T ips



a Encourage your children to compete against themselves by seeking to improve their skills.

a Find an area in which each of your children can excel and

encourage them to pursue it.

a Have respectful family rules (for example, no borrowing

without asking).

a Let children take turns picking the family activity or dinner.

a Let each child make suggestions for your

special time alone.a Plan special family celebrations or

events to recognize each child’saccomplishments.

a Hang signs and balloons to praise yourchildren’s different abilities.

a Give each child a turn picking the nighttimestory or the music played in the house.

a Give your children responsibilities in your

family that reflect their strengths.

A c t ivit i e s



a Avoid thinking about your reply before listening to everythingyour child has to say.

a Teach your children not to interrupt and model that behavioryourself.

a Ask what, how, and why questions that promote discussionrather than questions requiring only yes or no answers.

a Be alert to body language and respond in kind just as you do with friends.

a Ask WHAT your children like about a show rather than whetherthey like a show.

a Plan family times to talk.a Play a treasure hunt game with pictures or words as the clues.

a Make signs and label everything in the backyard or living roomfor a day.

a “Read” a story by talking about the pictures in a book or magazine.

a Take time every day with young children to cuddle and talk.

a Repeat the sounds a young baby makes and express your joy with smiles and hugs.

a Play a “game” of acting out feelings and trying to guess them.

A c t ivit i e s



Set Your Household Up for Success—Make It

Work for the Whole Family.Family life is more pleasantfor everyone when the

home is made safe andless frustrating for young children. Making your home“child friendly” makes child rearing easier and can preventmany behavioral problems.

a Model and teach good safety habits.

a Establish routines and rituals.

a Talk with your child about changes ahead of time.

a Make “off-limit” areas very clear and give reminders.

a Discuss and KEEP family rules that work for the household you

are creating (for example, put toys away after play).

T ips



a Put breakables out of reach.

a Keep dirty clothes hampers in convenient places.

a Create special areas for your toddler’s playthings where a littlemess is okay.

a Select a space in the yard where your children can play in the dirt.

a Place coat racks or hooks at your child’s level near the outside door.

a Use plastic dishes.

a Use washable surfaces for tables, chairs, and everything else you can.

a Use satin-finish paint on walls so you can clean them easily.

a Block stairs with gates until your child is able to climb downsafely alone.

a Remove or turn over the chairs that toddlers climb on to get ontop of tables, desks, and other dangerous spots.

a Use large sheets of newsprint to keep lists of family chores orschedules.

a Have a basket by the front door for mittens and shoes.

a Have a set place where everyone puts bookbags and homework.

a Plan how a new exciting toy will be shared before it has to be shared.

A c t ivit i e s



Make Time for Family Activities. A sense of belonging to a family isenhanced when families take timeto engage in common activities.De velop family rituals andm e m o r i e s .

a Have meals together.

a Establish family traditions.

a Use family discussion time to share needs and feelings, to discussinterests and solve problems, and to promote cooperation andplan family life.

a Praise your child’s contributions to family and home life.

a Help your children identify the tasks and responsibilities they can do around the house.

a Help your children recognize and appreciate their culturalheritage.

T ips



a Look at family photos together.

a Plan menus and outings together.

a Make up and put on a play or skit together.

a “Cook” a batch of playdough and make holiday decorations.

a Get buckets of soap and water and do the car or windows.

a Go on a “history” walk or outing.

a Plant seeds indoors or bulbs outdoors.

a Pack a picnic together and take it to the backyard or a park.

a Take a get-well basket to a neighbor or friend who is ill.

A c t ivit i e s



Teach Your Child Right fWrong.

Children’s understanding of rightf rom wrong develops slow ly,f rom within. It cannot beimposed upon them. Actively

teach your children a code of moral conduct and lay the

ground w ork for them to develop their own moral guide.

a Allow your children to own and control some possessions while

encouraging them to share others.a Share your values and the reasons for them.

a Build a sense of trust by being trustworthy.

a Demonstrate that you have confidence in your children to

become trustworthy.a Teach your child to love and care about others.

a Teach your child self-control and how to handle frustration.

a Remember that children learn the most important values and

attitudes through your modeling of them.

T ips



a Help your children see things from the other person’s point of view.

a Teach your children to both think about and experience theconsequences of their actions.

a Avoid using negative labels like “liar” with children because they might take on those identities.

a Let your children know you value their honesty when they tellthe truth.

a Teach your child that it is okay to have negative feelings.

a Apologize and admit errors when YOU are wrong!

a Remember, you are always teaching.

a Make lists of the ways we are the same and the ways we aredifferent from others.

a Make up positive phrases to model moral behavior such as“Make nice to kitty” and “Be gentle with dolly.”

a Teach your children steps for decisionmaking and let them solvetheir own moral dilemmas whenever appropriate.

a Have family rituals that model moral behavior (e.g., working at asoup kitchen).

a Make up family rules together about moral and ethical issues.

A c t ivit i e s



Build Your Child’s Brain and B You as a parent play a critical role in the intellec-

tual and physical development of your child.

Just remember that children cannot be expectedto learn some things before they are physically and mentally old enough to do so.

a Create an environment that promotes learning.a Provide a variety of reading materials in your home and have a

special place for them on a low shelf where your child can get tothem easily.

a Instill a love for reading in your children and have a sense of humor when you read to them.

a Do not force learning activities and do not become frustrated if your child does not always seem interested or attentive.

a Provide wholesome food at regular meal and snack times.

a Encourage exercise and allow your child the freedom to be asphysically active as possible.

a Understand that when your children lose interest in an activity,you do not need to push them to complete it.

a Make your home as safe as possible and allow active play at least

in some areas.

T ips



a Talk and sing with your child.

a Read to your child every day.

a Spend quiet time in which your child observes you reading.

a Point out to your child when you are doing things that requirereading and writing, such as cooking, shopping, or taking the bus.

a Gather objects in a bag and let your child guess the objects while blindfolded.

a Play with your baby in front of a mirror.

a Play hide and seek or peek-a-boo.

a See if your children can figure out how to make the elevator comeor set an extra place at the table before you tell them how to do it.

a Play sorting games by size, shape, color, or use.

a In the bath or a dishpan, let your child pour water from onecontainer to another.

a Play active games with your child.

a Play tug-of-war with a jump rope.

a Turn on the exercise programs on television, do the exercises,and encourage your children to do them with you.

A c t ivit i e s



Be Your Child’s First Source Information.

Young children first look to their parentsfor answers. Be prepared to answer.Encouraging your children to ask questions now makes it easier for

them to ask questions when they are older.

a Prepare yourself for discussing some of the toughest questionsthat have to do with the “facts of life” and with death.

a Answer children’s questions as they come up and know that asimple, honest answer is all that is needed when they are young.

a Try to desensitize yourself if you find that using certain wordsor phrases embarrasses you.

a Be warm and supportive as you give information.

a Praise your child for asking questions.

a Treat your children’s questions seriously with time and answersthat match their age.

a Don’t be afraid to say “I don’t know.”

a Help your child distinguish between facts/rules and

suggestions/opinions.

T ips



a Look up answers to questions together.

a Give your children the names of safe people and places from whichthey can obtain information.

a Find books for children and read them to yourself to see whichones present material in a way with which you’re comfortable.

a Make special time for talks about difficult subjects.

a Have a serious talk with your child about continuing problems.

a Oversee your child’s television viewing.

a Talk to your children about what they watch. Ask them what they think about particular shows, and encourage them to ask questions.

a Watch programs with your children whenever possible.

a Watch how your children react to what’s on the screen. Are they excited? Disturbed? Confused?

a Talk about issues that come up on programs, the differencebet ween make-believe and real life, how television characters arelike or unlike people you know, and how violence hurts people.

a Play “Simon Says” with your children to “practice” giving andfollowing clear messages.

a Make up family rules with your children that are clear and simple

(e.g., wash hands before dinner) and then have everyone draw pictures to illustrate the rule.

A c t ivit i e s



Promote Positive Behavior and Self-Responsibility in Your Child.

Ef f ective parenting requires that you w ork to strengthen your children’sself-esteem, build and maintainpositive relationships with them, andencourage them to take appropriaterisks, make decisions, and solve problems.

a Allow your children to solve as many of their own problems asthey can.

a Let your children answer some of their own questions.

a Do not do things for your children that they can do for themselves.

a Encourage your child to take risks.

a Let your children have the satisfaction and pride that comes as a

result of growing independence and self-sufficiency.a Praise accomplishments.

a Invite and consider your child’s thoughts, feelings, and opinionson a topic of discussion.

a Allow your child to make mistakes.

T ips



a Assist your child in weighing choices and examining consequences.

a Communicate your support to your child.

a Increase your child’s responsibilities.

a Provide encouragement to your child that focuses on effort andimprovement, not winning or competition.

a Help your children become effective decisionmakers.

a Praise your child without words by using smiles and hugs.a Reinforce positive behavior.

a Review safety and rules BEFORE starting out for the store.

a Give each child daily jobs that are critical to the family.

a Start even two-year-olds on the “1/3” plan—1/3 each of theirallowance to gifts, savings, and self.

a Develop a “safety checklist” for your home and have everyone doan “inspection.”

a Have regular family discussions to make decisions.

a Put each child in charge of some area—a dresser or toychest, onedra wer, a corner, or a box where they keep and organize their “things.”

A c t ivit i e s



Be Creat ive in Pr eve nt ing or Re sponding to Unac c ept able Be havi or .

What works for one child may not work for another. Respond to your child’s behavior

problems in a variety of ways, but always with love. Eachsituation may require a different approach.

a Consider rules as tools that provide predictability, consistency,and stability for children.

a Help your child plan for changes.

a Catch your children being good and tell them how it affects others.a Don’t reinforce unacceptable behaviors and even try ignoring

them sometimes.

a Provide dependable, predictable routines.

a Set limits on the use of space, time, objects, and activities.

a Try to understand what your children are communicating to youeven when their behavior is unacceptable.

a Encourage exploration and curiosity, but keep your child safe.

a Distract and redirect your children’s attention when they are

doing something you don’t like.

T ips



a Try to avoid unnecessary conflicts.

a Avoid labeling your child—label behaviors instead.

a Do not hit, shake, or verbally abuse your child.

a Stop unacceptable behavior as soon as it starts with explanationsand consequences.

a Redirect negative behavior.

a Take away favorite privileges if the behavior does not stop.

a Sometimes, just say “no.”a Sometimes, ignore the wrong behavior but don’t allow it to continue.

a Use humor to deflect angry or tense situations.

a Keep a journal of ideas, clippings, and drawings of the kind of household you want to create.

a Plan activities and rules that promote that kind of household.

a Post reminders in eye-catching spots.

a Change the environment—put on soft music.

a Bring toys, books, or activities to keep your children occupied when they are in places where they need to be quiet.

a Role play situations that might be difficult, new, or different toprepare your child, such as going to the doctor or going tograndma’s house.

A c t ivit i e s



Take Care of Yourself.Take time to pay attention to

your own mental, physical, andemotional needs. In thelong run, you’ll be a betterparent.

a Accept that caring for young children can be draining,physically and emotionally.

a Take a physical, emotional, and mental “time out.”

a Reach out and get some help from family, friends, andprofessionals when you feel overwhelmed.

a Realize that there is no such thing as “a perfect parent,” thatit’s okay to make mistakes, and that child rearing is extremely complicated and challenging.

a Pursue hobbies, interests, and outside activities to energize andrefresh yourself.

a Try not to make “child-talk” the center of every conversationyou have with your partnering parent or other adults.

a

T ips

the 1, 2, 3s of positive parenting

Documents