positive parenting and positive development in children

7Positive Parenting and PositiveDevelopment in Children

MARC H. BORNSTEIN

In the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, the United Nations has proclaimed thatchildhood is entitled to special care and assistance.

Preamble, Convention on the Rights of the Child1

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POSITIVE PARENTING

States Parties agree that the education ofthe child shall be directed to: (a) Thedevelopment of the child’s personality,talents and mental and physical abilitiesto their fullest potential; . . . (c) Thedevelopment of respect for the child’sparents, his or her own cultural identity,language and values, for the nationalvalues of the country in which the childis living, the country from which he orshe may originate, and for civilizationsdifferent from his or her own.

Article 29, Conventionon the Rights of the Child

Shards of pottery found at the Oracle ofDelphi attest that parents in the ancientGreek world asked the priestess Pythia,

“How can I ensure that my children will dosomething useful?” Parents are charged withmyriad portentous and enduring responsibil-ities associated with preparing children tofare and flourish in the material, social, andeconomic worlds they will inherit. Numerousfactors influence children’s development, butparents are the “final common pathway” tochildhood development and stature, adapta-tion, and success. Parenting is a process thatformally begins during or before pregnancybut continues through the balance of the lifecourse. Practically speaking, for most, once aparent, always a parent. Therefore, parentsmust be enlisted and empowered to parentpositively and provide children with positiveexperiences and environments that optimizetheir positive development.

C H A P T E R

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Yet at the start of the 21st century,parenting is in an agitated state of question,flux, and redefinition on account of strongcontemporary secular and historical currents.Societywide changes in industrialization,urbanization, poverty, demographic shiftsin family size, population growth, and longe-vity and mortality patterns, as well as thechanging constellation of family structure(maternal employment2 and female-headedhouseholds, divorced and blended families,lesbian and gay parents, teens versus 50-year-old first-time parents) exert multiple stresseson parenting, on interactions between parentsand children, and consequently on parents’ability to provide for the positive develop-ment of their children.

Until now, parents, researchers, and policy-makers have principally occupied themselveswith children’s disorders, deficits, and disabili-ties, even when they have had the salutatorygoals in mind to develop interventions, reme-diations, or preventions of childhood’s ills.Indeed, modern psychology is devoted to under-standing and healing human functioningwithin a disease model; the main mode of psy-chological intervention has been to repair dam-aged habits, damaged drives, and damagedbodies. But as Seligman (1998) has written,

Psychology is not just the study of weaknessand damage, it is also the study of strengthand virtue. Treatment is not just fixingwhat is broken, it is nurturing what isbest. Human strengths—courage, opti-mism, interpersonal skill, work ethic, hope,honesty, and perseverance—can bufferagainst illness. (p. 559)

Indeed, successful prevention may springfrom a science that systematically promotespositive competencies. On this account, thecentral tasks of positive parenting may beto foster the development of positive charac-teristics and values in the young. Mooreand Keyes (2002), reviewing the study ofwell-being in children and adults, affirmedthe paradigm shift that has occurred in

developmental science from treating problems,to preventing problems, to promoting posi-tive development.

This chapter reviews positive parentingand positive development in normal popula-tions.3 The issues addressed include positivedevelopment in children, who is responsiblefor positive parenting, the effects, domains,and principles of positive parenting, theantecedents of positive parenting, as well asprograms that promote positive parenting andpositive development in children. The chaptermainly focuses on the nature, conditions, anddimensions of positive parenting but beginswith a discussion of positive child outcomes.Parenting competence is at least in part func-tionally defined by positive child outcomes(Teti & Candelaria, 2002). At least since thepublication of Bartholomew of England’sDe proprietatibus rerum and Vincent ofBeauvais’s Speculum majus, 13th-centurytreatises of ancient and modern philosophiesand recommendations about proper child care(Gabriel, 1962; Goodrich, 1975), parenting(broadly construed) has been recognized as aprincipal reason behind why individuals arewho they are and why they turn out the waythey do (see Collins, Maccoby, Steinberg,Hetherington, & Bornstein, 2000).

WHAT IS POSITIVEDEVELOPMENT IN CHILDREN?

1. States Parties recognize the right ofevery child to a standard of living ade-quate for the child’s physical, mental,spiritual, moral and social development.


What are the positive characteristics andvalues we would like to see in our children?The study of positive youth developmentis critically in need of development itself interms of defining positive outcomes, enhanc-ing the research base for positive constructs,

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undertaking longitudinal assessments oftheir growth, and policing their psychometricadequacy (Moore & Keyes, 2002). However,several social commentators and scientificinvestigators have made a start, and there aremany individual and social indicators ofpositive child development in the intraper-sonal and interpersonal realms. For example,Bennett (1993) enumerated a set of desiredoutcomes for youth that included persever-ance, faith, friendship, courage, responsibil-ity, and compassion. The Search Institute(Benson, 1993) identified a set of key “inter-nal assets,” such as commitment to learning,positive values, social competencies, and posi-tive identity. More recently, Lerner, Fisher,and Weinberg (2000) developed the “5 Cs”of positive development: competence, confi-dence, connections, character, and caring. Inconsidering positive developmental attributes,of course, we must keep in mind that they arealways “in the parental eye”: Some parentsmay want to see control of emotionality intheir children, others want career success,and for still others, eye-hand coordination inbatting seems to matter quite a lot.

Three global areas of positive develop-ment in children can be identified, each witha series of closely operationalized positiveelements (for an elaboration of this scheme,see Bornstein, Davidson, Keyes, Moore, &the Center for Child Well-Being, 2003).Positive development encompasses physical,social and emotional, and cognitive domains.The elements that comprise any one domainare not exhaustive, but represent a core set ofessentials that help to define that domain andpositive development in children overall.4

The Physical Domain ofChildhood Positive Development

Positive development in the physicaldomain includes minimally good nutrition,health care, physical activity, safety and secu-rity, and reproductive health.

� Good nutrition is essential to rapid growthand optimal development throughoutthe life course; healthy eating habits meanavoiding excesses as much as deficiencies.

� Maintaining physical health is critical topositive development, and positive devel-opment also includes enhancing desirablephysical attributes.

� Physical activity and sleep are both requi-site to healthy function; that is, movementand exercise as well as rest are vital tohealth and a hearty lifestyle.

� Children’s felt safety and security in thehome as well as at school and in the sur-rounding community are requisite to cre-ating a climate conducive to positivedevelopment.

� In adolescence, reproductive health comeson-line as an issue of positive child develop-ment; this includes sexual development,safe sexual practices, and reproductiveknowledge.

The Social and Emotional Domain ofChildhood Positive Development

Temperament, emotional understandingand regulation, coping and resilience, trust, aself-system, character, and social competen-cies likewise contribute to positive develop-ment in children.

� Possessing a positive temperament, includ-ing an approach orientation and an adap-tive style, is a positive trait in development.

� Emotional intelligence, that is, emotionexpression, regulation, and understanding,is essential to social and emotional positivedevelopment. Empathy is the emotionalresponse to what another person is feeling,and sympathy is the emotional reaction toanother’s stress; both constitute elements ofsocial and emotional positive development.

� Coping implies the ability to interact withthe environment positively, constructively,and adaptively (especially under condi-tions of stress, threat, or harm). Relatedly,resilience implies the ability to recover and

Positive Parenting and Positive Development in Children 157


regain equilibrium in the face of negativeenvironments and experiences.

� Trust is a hallmark of secure attachment andthe ability of the child to use the caregiver asa secure base from which to explore.

� Near to the core of social and emotionalpositive development is children’s sense ofself, including a positive self-concept, iden-tity, and regard, as well as possessing self-efficacy, being able to self-regulate, andhaving a sense of self-determination.

� Character includes values and moralbehaviors—altruism, courage, honesty,duty, and responsibility—that constitutehuman strengths and virtues.

� Good social competencies include under-standing one’s place in the social worldand navigating interpersonal relationswell, so as to develop quality, warm, andtrusting relationships with others, notablyparents, siblings, and peers.

The Cognitive Domain ofChildhood Positive Development

Thinking, communicating thought, andthe products of thought in everyday life areessential to individual positive development.There are many specific positive elementswithin the cognitive domain, including infor-mation processing and memory, curiosity andexploration, mastery motivation, intelligence,problem solving, language and literacy,educational achievement, moral reasoning,and talent.

� Cognitive science has identified two inter-related general mechanisms that are impli-cated in children’s mental performanceacross a wide range of tasks: One is infor-mation processing (the execution of funda-mental mental processes), and the otherprocess is memory (the ongoing cognitiveprocessing of that information).

� Curiosity can be defined as the desire tolearn more, and exploration as the behaviorthat is energized and directed by curiosity.

� Mastery motivation, an achievementdisposition that underlies the person’s drive

to learn in various situations, reflects thepsychological force that leads individualsto master tasks for the intrinsic feeling ofefficacy, rather than for extrinsic reward.

� Thinking involves basic processes, such asperceiving objects and events in the externalenvironment, and high-level mental pro-cesses, such as reasoning, symbolizing, andplanning. Traditional global measures ofthinking include intelligence tests, but amore encompassing contemporary view ofintelligence embraces understanding oneselfand others, creativity, and artistic abilities.

� Problem solving is the sequence of stepsthat attempts to identify and create alter-nate solutions for both cognitive and socialproblems, including the ability to plan,resourcefully seek help from others, andthink critically, creatively, and reflectively.

� Language and literacy constitute a set ofcritical verbal elements of positive cogni-tive development that are key to enteringthe social community and to academic andcareer success through schooling.

� Educational achievement is commonlymeasured by children’s readiness to learn,the state in which the capacities and com-petencies of the child match the expecta-tions and requirements of adults andschool; achievement test scores; andreport card grades, which directly assesschildren’s mastery of specific skills.

� Cognitive ability is strongly related to sev-eral components of morality: moral judg-ment, moral emotions, and moral action.

� Additional elements of positive cognitivedevelopment are creativity and talent,whether intellectual, social, athletic, artis-tic, or other.

Some Characteristics of the ThreeDomains of Positive Development

These domains constitute a strengths-based approach to positive development inchildhood. Certainly, the elements listedare not the only ones; the elements includedhere hardly exhaust all possible featuresof positive development. Moreover, the



“surface” behaviors represented in each ofthese domains may change during the courseof the life span; however, the “latent”strengths they represent probably remain con-stant, thereby creating a continuity of ele-ments of positive development across (at leastparts of) the life course. Further to that point,many elements of positive development willshow stability from childhood to maturity.Thus, the foundations of positive develop-ment, as well as their antecedents in so-calledflourishing adults (Rowe & Kahn, 1998), maybe laid down early in life.

Elements of positive development withina domain mutually influence one another,just as elements in the physical, social andemotional, and cognitive domains interactwith and support one another. Thus, forexample, elements of positive developmentwithin the social and emotional domain arethemselves positively associated: Children’sself-regulation of their internal emotionalreactions contributes to the quality of theirrelationships with parents and others. Anexample of cross-domain mutual support isthe fact that good nutrition, especially dur-ing the early years of rapid brain growth,can facilitate or enhance cognitive develop-ment, just as positive cognitive developmentenables children to make better choices andunderstand more fully the consequences oftheir behaviors and decisions with respect totheir physical health. Finally, attaining posi-tive development in each element in adomain is important, but overall positivedevelopment in the life course presumablydepends on the human being’s ability toattain and sustain reasonably high levels inall domains.

WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FORPOSITIVE PARENTING?

2. States Parties shall respect the rightsand duties of the parents and, whenapplicable, legal guardians, to providedirection to the child in the exercise of his

or her right in a manner consistent withthe evolving capacities of the child.


1. States Parties shall use their best effortsto ensure recognition of the principle thatboth parents have common responsibili-ties for the upbringing and development ofthe child. Parents or, as the case may be,legal guardians, have the primary respon-sibility for the upbringing and develop-ment of the child. The best interests of thechild will be their basic concern.


Cultures variously distribute the tasksof child caregiving. In the minds of many,motherhood is principal in the developmentof children, and the roles of mothers arescripted and universal. Mothers are the tradi-tional caregivers to young children, and cross-cultural surveys attest to the primacy of bio-logical mothers in all forms of caregiving(Barnard & Solchany, 2002; Hart ResearchAssociates, 1997; Holden & Buck, 2002;Leiderman, Tulkin, & Rosenfeld, 1977).Fathers are invested in caregiving as well(Parke, 2002). Men generally have feweropportunities to acquire and practice centralskills of caregiving, however. Because thepaternal role is less well articulated anddefined than is the maternal role, maternalsupport often helps to crystallize appropriatepaternal behavior. In the West, moreover,mothers and fathers tend to interact withand care for their children in complemen-tary ways; that is, they tend to divide thelabors of caregiving and engage children byemphasizing different types of interactions(e.g., mothers are more nurturant and affec-tionate, fathers are more playful). Perhapstime budget constraints and variation ininterests and abilities cause mothers andfathers to devote different amounts of timeand resources to children across differentdomains, such as physical health, social andemotional development, and mental growth.



In the minds of others, pluralistic caregivingarrangements of children are much morecommon and on this account, more significantin the lives of children. In many placesaround the globe, siblings, grandparents, andvarious nonparental caregivers play salientroles that vary depending on a variety offactors about the child care provider, includingage, gender, age gap, quality of attachment,personality, and so forth (Clarke-Stewart &Allhusen, 2002; Smith, P.K., & Drew, 2002;Zukow-Goldring, 2002). Often, these care-givers behave in a complementary fashion toone another as well, dividing the full labor ofchild caregiving by individually emphasizingdifferent parenting responsibilities and func-tions. In short, many individuals (other thanmother and father) play roles in positivechild development. However, the implica-tions of these diverse patterns of early “par-enting” relationships for children’s positivedevelopment are still unclear. It is a curiousand sad fact that superb substitute parentingis often low in value and remuneration, eventhough the positive development of ourchildren is at risk (Honig, 2002).

It is critical to acknowledge in this connec-tion that as important as the biological role of“begetter” is, it is less central than the socialrole of “nurturer” in the full meaning of par-enthood to children (Leon, in press). In short,in-the-trenches parenting matters more thanblood ties to positive child development.

WHAT ARE THE EFFECTS,DOMAINS, AND PRINCIPLESOF POSITIVE PARENTING?

2. The parent(s) or others responsible forthe child have the primary responsibilityto secure, within their abilities andfinancial capabilities, the conditionsof living necessary for the child’sdevelopment.


Parenting children is a 24/365 job, andparenting responsibilities are clearly greatestduring childhood. That is because younghuman offspring are totally dependent ontheir parents for survival and caregiving andtheir ability to cope alone is minimal.Reciprocally, childhood is a period normallyattended to and invested in by parents theworld over, and childhood is the phase ofthe life cycle when parenting is believed toexert its most significant and salient influ-ences: Not only is the sheer amount of inter-action between parents and children greatestthen, but children may be particularly sus-ceptible and responsive to parent-providedexperiences (Bornstein, 2002a). Indeed, theopportunity of enhanced parental influenceand prolonged childhood learning of posi-tive characteristics and values is thought tobe an evolutionary reason for the extendedduration of human childhood (Bjorklund,Yunger, & Pellegrini, 2002; Gould, 1977).

Childhood is the time when human beingsfirst grow and develop physically, forge theirfirst social bonds, first learn how to expressand read basic human emotions, and firstmake sense of and understand objects in theworld (Bornstein & Lamb, 1992). Parentsescort children through all of these dramatic“firsts.” Not surprisingly, all of these devel-opmental dynamics are tracked by parents,and all in turn shape parenting. Finally, influ-ences of these developments reverberatethrough the balance of childhood: In theview of some social theorists, the child’s firstrelationships with parents set the tone andstyle for the child’s later social relationships(Cummings & Cummings, 2002), and a his-tory of shared work and play activities withparents is positively linked to the child’ssmooth transition into school, just as par-ents’ involvement with their children’sschool-related tasks and school partnershipsrelate positively to their children’s schoolexperience and performance (Epstein &Sanders, 2002). It would appear that all



elements of positive physical, social andemotional, and cognitive development inchildhood can be changed—and presumably,enhanced.

From an ecological stance (Bronfenbrenner& Crouter, 1983; Lerner, Rothbaum,Boulos, & Castellino, 2002), the develop-ment and growth of any element or domainof positive development depends on childrenthemselves as well as on the many facets ofthe child’s environment and experience.Therefore, only by taking multiple contextsinto account can positive child developmentbe fully appreciated.

Mothers, fathers, and other nonparentalcaregivers guide the development of theircharges via many direct and indirect means.Direct effects are of two kinds: genetic andexperiential. Of course, biological parentsendow a significant and pervasive geneticmakeup to their children, with its beneficialor other consequences. Thus, heredity cancontribute to positive development. Forexample, twin studies of children’s reactionsto simulations of distress in others point to agenetic component for sympathy and proso-cial activity (Zahn-Waxler, Robinson, &Emde, 1992); self-reports of sympathy andprosocial behavior appear to have a geneticbasis in adulthood, too (e.g., Rushton,Fulker, Neale, & Nias, 1989).

Although genes contribute to children’spositive characteristics and values, all promi-nent theories of human development putexperience in the world as either the princi-pal source of individual growth or as a majorcontributing component (Dixon & Lerner,1999). Such experiences are of two kinds:beliefs and behaviors.

Parents hold parenting beliefs andcommunicate them to their offspring (Harkness & Super, 1996). Beliefs constitutea significant force over the positive develop-ment of children, whether they are percep-tions about, attitudes toward, or knowledgeof parenting. Seeing one’s own children in a

particular way has consequences for one’saffect, thinking, and behavior in child-rearing situations: Parents who regard theirchildren as “easy” are more likely to payattention and respond to their children, andin turn, responsiveness fosters child growth(Bornstein, 1989; Putnam, Sanson, &Rothbart, 2002). Seeing childhood in a par-ticular way functions likewise: Parents whobelieve that they can affect children’s physi-cal health, social and emotional growth, orcognitive development are more proactiveand successful in cultivating their children’scompetencies (Bandura, Barbaranelli,Caprara, & Pastorelli, 1996; Coleman &Karraker, 1998; Elder, 1995; Gross, Fogg, &Tucker, 1995; King & Elder, 1998;Schneewind, 1995; Teti & Gelfand, 1991).Finally, seeing oneself in a particular wayvis-à-vis children leads to certain cognitionsor behaviors: Parents hold different beliefsabout the meaning and significance of theirown parenting behaviors as well as the behav-iors and development of their children, andparents act on these beliefs about children asmuch as they do on their own experienceswith children (Bugental & Happaney, 2002;Sigel & McGillicuddy-De Lisi, 2002).

Perhaps more salient in the phenomenol-ogy of childhood, however, are parents’behaviors: the tangible experiences parentsprovide their children. Parents model specificbehaviors, possibly leading to the expressionof those behaviors by children as the result ofchildren’s observations and practice. Parentspromote positive behaviors in children aswell, for example, through praise or rewardof emotions, cognitions, and actions theyappreciate. Parental involvement, moni-toring, and communication have beenassociated with children’s positive health,social-emotional, and academic development(Crouter & Head, 2002).

For most elements of positive develop-ment, parents exercise duty and authorityover their children early in life and plan that



their socialization practices will result, whenchild independence ultimately takes hold, inchildren’s self-regulation of their own posi-tive characteristics and values (Eisenberg &Valiente, 2002). Parents promote and ensurechildren’s health and safety by attending totheir preventative health care needs (such asimmunizations); teaching children how tomaintain healthy diets; modeling and partici-pating with children when engaging in physi-cal activities; and ensuring and provisioninga safe and secure environment (Melamed,2002; Tinsley, Markey, Ericksen, Kwasman, &Oritz, 2002). Warmth and responsiveness inparent-child relationships promote the devel-opment of trust and autonomy (Cummings& Cummings, 2002). Security from infancyimproves the likelihood of success in latersocial relationships in terms of negotiatingand resolving subsequent developmentaltasks (Thompson, 1999). So, to continue theabove example, a variety of types of positiveparenting links to the development ofchildren’s prosocial behavior or sympathy(Eisenberg & Valiente, 2002). Parents whoare authoritative (in Baumrind’s, 1989, senseof being supportive and demanding of appro-priate behavior from their children) tend tohave children who exhibit prosocial behav-ior, and the use of reasoning in disciplineappears to be especially important to proso-cial development (Krevans & Gibbs, 1996).In short, parenting that is responsive, warm,and supportive; relies on reasoning for disci-pline; and demands more mature behaviortends to promote positive social and emo-tional development in children (Dekovic &Janssens, 1992; Janssens & Dekovic, 1997).

Taken as a totality, this constellation ofcaregiving constitutes a varied and demand-ing set of parenting tasks, and the contents ofparent-child interactions that correspond tothe domains of children’s positive develop-ment are dynamic and varied. Of course,adults differ among themselves in terms oftheir positive caregiving and in how successful

they may be. At the same time, individualparenting styles are reasonably consistent(Holden & Miller, 1999). Over the long-term, the precise nature and structure of posi-tive parenting behaviors can be expected tochange, as in response to their children’sdevelopment. Consider two functions, sur-veillance and responsiveness, as examples.Positive parenting means keeping track ofand tending to children and letting childrenknow that parent and child coexist in a lovingand trusting relationship (Crouter & Head,2002), and parenting actions associated withthose goals certainly vary with child age, forexample, minding a toddler or giving a cellphone to a newly licensed teen driver.

Parents’ nurturing, social-emotional, anddidactic behaviors and styles constitutedirect-experience effects of parenting.Mothers and fathers exercise indirect effectson positive child development as well.Indirect effects are more subtle and lessnoticeable than direct effects, but perhaps noless meaningful. Parents indirectly inclinetheir children toward positive developmentin several ways: Parents influence oneanother, for example by marital support andcommunication (Grych, 2002), and parentsinfluence their children through their influ-ence on each other (Grych & Fincham,2001). Parents’ attitudes about themselves,their spouses, and their marriages therebymodify the quality of their interactions withtheir children and in turn, their children’schance for positive development.

Thus, although some contend that“parents matter less than you think” (Harris,1998), parents manifestly exert both directand indirect influences on their children.Consider again children’s interactions withtheir peers. Parents directly influence theirchildren’s peer relationships when they culti-vate children’s social skills, organize theirchildren’s social environment, provide accessto social play partners, choose playmates, andplan and monitor children’s peer activities



(Ladd & Pettit, 2002). Parents indirectlyaffect their children’s peer relationshipsthrough behaviors that encourage or hinderchildren’s social competencies, throughattachment quality, family emotional climate,support, discipline, and beliefs (Ladd &Pettit, 2002).

Principles of Positive Parenting

To fathom how parenting young childrenrelates to children’s later positive function-ing, we need to distinguish individual differ-ences and child effects in children from theroles of parent-provided experience. Experi-ences vital to positive child development canbe contemporaneous, early occurring, or cumu-lative (see Bornstein & Tamis-LeMonda,1990; Bornstein, Tamis-LeMonda, & Haynes,1999). In a model of effective contemporaryparenting, child positive characteristics andvalues reflect the effects of parent-providedexperiences at a given time, separate from sta-bility of individual differences to that time andthe effects of prior parent-provided experi-ence. Contemporary experience is uniqueand can override earlier experience. Thedatabase for this model typically consists ofrecovery of functioning from early severedeprivation, failure of early interventionstudies to show long-term effects, and thelike (Kagan, 1998; Lewis, 1997). In a modelof effective early parenting, child positivecharacteristics and values reflect the effects ofearlier parent-provided experiences, separatefrom stability of individual differences inthe child and the effects of contemporaneousparent-provided experience. Data derivedfrom ethology, behaviorism, and neuropsy-chology (e.g., sensitive periods; Bornstein,1989) support this model. In a model ofcumulative parenting, child positive charac-teristics and values reflect the combined effectsof earlier as well as later parent-providedexperiences, separate from the stability ofindividual differences in the child (Bornstein

et al., 1999). Cumulative effects appear toresult from consistent environmental influ-ences. To promote positive characteris-tics and values in young children and tofathom their antecedents in positive paren-ting, it is necessary to isolate and measure thestability of individual differences in the childand to differentiate among different tem-poral and causal models of parent-providedexperience.

Specificity, Transaction,and Interdependence

Parenting that promotes positive develop-ment in children follows several additionalnoteworthy principles. The specificity princi-ple asserts that specific experiences parentsprovide children at specific times exertspecific effects over specific aspects of childdevelopment in specific ways. It is probablynot the case that the overall level of parentalstimulation, for example, directly affects theoverall level of children’s functioning andcompensates for selective deficiencies. Thatis, simply providing an adequate financialbase, a big house, or the like does notguarantee or even speak to a child’s goodnutrition, development of an empathicpersonality, cognitive competence, or otherdesirable positive attributes or capacities.This is apparently counterintuitive, becausenearly 90% of parents in the United Statesthink simplistically that the more stimulationa baby receives, the better off the baby is(Hart Research Associates, 1997). Rather, ona goodness-of-fit model, parents need tocarefully match the amount and kinds ofstimulation they offer to their child’s level ofdevelopment, interests, temperament, moodat the moment, and so forth (Lerner et al.,2002). Furthermore, to maintain appropriateinfluence and guidance through develop-ment, parents must effectively adjust theirinteractions, cognitions, emotions, affec-tions, and strategies for exerting parental



influence to the changing abilities, activities,and experiences of their children.

The transaction principle asserts thatpositive parenting will help to shape the posi-tive characteristics and values of childrenthrough time, just as reciprocally, the charac-teristics and values of children help to shapetheir parenting. Children and their parentsco-construct the child’s physical, social andemotional, and intellectual development.Children influence which experiences theywill be exposed to as well as how they inter-pret those experiences, and thereby howthose experiences might affect them (Scarr &Kidd, 1983). Parents and children stimulateand provide feedback to—they mutuallyinfluence—one another. In general, parentsface a continuous onrush of transitions inchildren’s physical maturity, emotionaladjustments, social opportunities and settings,and cognitive capabilities.

The interdependence principle asserts thatto understand the responsibilities and func-tions of one member of a family in promotingpositive development in children, the comple-mentary responsibilities and functions ofother family members also need to be acknow-ledged. All family members—mothers, fathers,and children, as well as other interested par-ties—influence each other both directly andindirectly. Furthermore, all families areembedded in, interact with, and are them-selves affected by larger social systems (Lerneret al., 2002). These include both formal andinformal support systems, extended families,community ties to friends and neighbors,work sites, educational and medical institu-tions, as well as their culture at large. Tounderstand positive parenting and positivechild development requires taking multiplefactors into consideration so that individual,dyadic, family, and social level contributionsto parenting and child development can beappreciated. Each piece of parenting occurs inmultiple immediate and broader contexts, all

of which determine its effect and how it isperceived (Bronfenbrenner & Crouter, 1983; Darling & Steinberg, 1993).

At the intersection of these several parent-ing principles is uncertainty in what can bepredicted about the positive characteristicsand values of individual children, their ori-gins, and how they will unfold . . . the ques-tion ancient Greek parents put to the Delphicoracle. There are many pathways to positivechild development. Some populations weexpect to fail miserably (teen parents, chil-dren born to crack-addicted mothers) just asthose we think should have it made (highsocioeconomic status [SES]) almost alwaysshow surprising diversity of outcomes. Todetect regular relations between positiveparenting and positive child development,one needs to seek and to find the right com-binations of variables. The multiple pathwaysand dynamics of positive parenting and posi-tive child development challenge parents andchildren alike (see Box 9.1). Researchers mustdevelop new paradigms and methodologiesto accommodate the chaos; similarly, thisperspective renders the initiation and imple-mentation of parenting programs and policy“nightmarish.” Some will fail. Yet only byappreciating and addressing the complexityof this real-world situation can we gain accessto more that is valid about positive develop-ment in children and their parents.

WHAT ARE THE ANTECEDENTSOF POSITIVE PARENTING?

The family, as the fundamental group ofsociety and the natural environment forthe growth and well-being of all itsmembers, particularly children, shouldbe afforded the necessary protection andassistance so that it can fully assume itsresponsibilities within the community.

Preamble, Conventionon the Rights of the Child




Box 9.1 Lessons for Promoting Cognitive Competence

It is difficult to predict the developmental course of a given child, and cause-effect rela-tions between parental actions and positive child development are notoriously complex.Nonetheless, some guidelines about possible influences of parents on children’s positivedevelopment can be identified. Williams and Sternberg (2002), for example, offer10 lessons to parents who wish to develop cognitively competent and successful children.

� Lesson 1: Recognize what can and cannot be changed in children. Watch childrenas they attempt to acquire new skills and meet new experiences and then encour-age them to pursue skills and explore areas in which they display talents or professinterests. Expose children broadly to many skill areas.

� Lesson 2: Challenge children, rather than bore or overwhelm them. Strike a bal-ance between tasks that are just beyond children’s reach and those that children cansucceed at some but not all of the time.

� Lesson 3: Teach children that the main limitation on what they can do is what theytell themselves they cannot do. Children have to be told that they have the abilityto meet any challenge, and what they need to decide is how hard they are willingto work to meet a challenge.

� Lesson 4: Move children to learn what questions to ask and how to ask them andwhen to learn what the answers to the questions are. How we think is often moreimportant than what to think, and how we ask questions is more important thanwhat answers we might receive. What matters more is not what facts childrenknow but rather their ability to use those facts.

� Lesson 5: Discover and capitalize on what excites children. To excel, children needto genuinely love what they do and to be motivated to work.

� Lesson 6: Encourage children to take sensible intellectual risks. Creativity is relatedto risk taking, and parents should teach children to take intellectual risks anddevelop a sense of when to take a risk and when not to.

� Lesson 7: Teach children to take responsibility for both their successes and theirfailures.

� Lesson 8: Socialize children to delay gratification and be able to wait for rewards.Children need to learn from their parents about the long term and not just the here-and-now.

� Lesson 9: Teach children empathy, the importance of understanding, respecting,and responding to the viewpoints of others.

� Lesson 10: Understand that the quality of interaction parents have with childrenredounds to both parent and child positively.

SOURCE: Williams & Sternberg (2002).


2. The parent(s) or others responsible forthe child have the primary responsibilityto secure, within their abilities and finan-cial capacities, the conditions of livingnecessary for the child’s development.


Each day, about three fourths of a millionadults around the world experience the joysand heartaches, challenges and rewards, ofbecoming new parents. Which ones will par-ent positively? What factors will make par-ents the kind of parents they are? The originsof variation in parents’ beliefs and behaviorsare extremely complex, but certain factorsseem to be of paramount importance: biologi-cal determinants, individual-differences char-acteristics, actual or perceived characteristicsof children, and contextual influences, includ-ing social situational factors, family back-ground, SES, and culture (Bornstein, 2002b).

Several aspects of positive parenting ini-tially arise out of biological processes, those,for example, associated with pregnancy andparturition. Pregnancy in human beingscauses the release of hormones thought to beinvolved in the development of positive—protective, nurturant, and responsive—feelings toward offspring (Stallings, Fleming,Corter, Worthman, & Steiner, 2001).Prenatal biological events—parental age,diet, and stress—affect postnatal parenting aswell as child development. Adults alreadyknow (or think they know) something aboutparenting by the time they first becomeparents; that is, human beings appear to pos-sess some intuitive knowledge about parent-ing, and some characteristics of parentingmay be “wired” into our biological makeup(Papoušek & Papoušek, 2002). For example,speaking to babies is vitally important tochild development, and parents speak tobabies even though they know that babiescannot understand language and will notrespond in kind; parents even speak to babies

in a special speech register that fosters childlanguage development (e.g., Papoušek,Papoušek, & Bornstein, 1985).

Parenting calls on transient as well asenduring individual-differences characteris-tics, including personality and intelligence,traits and attitudes toward the parentingrole, motivation to become involved withchildren, and child development and child-rearing knowledge and skills (Belsky &Barends, 2002; Bornstein, Hahn, Suizzo, &Haynes, 2001; Holden & Buck, 2002). Somepersonality characteristics that would favorpositive parenting include empathic aware-ness, attuned responsiveness, and emotionalavailability. More educated parents project apositive authoritative style of child rearing.Perceived self-efficacy is likely to affectparenting positively because parents who feeleffective vis-à-vis their children are motivatedto engage in further interactions with theirchildren, which in turn provide them withadditional opportunities to understand andinteract positively with their children (Teti &Candelaria, 2002).

Characteristics of children influence posi-tive parenting and, in turn, child development(Bell, 1968; Bell & Harper, 1977). Thesecharacteristics may be obvious (age, gender,or physical appearance), or they may be sub-tle (temperament). Positive parenting like-wise entails understanding and responding todynamic developmental change as well asindividual variation among children.

Biology, individual differences, and childcharacteristics constitute prominent factorsthat influence positive parenting. Beyond these,contextual factors motivate and help to definepositive beliefs and behaviors of parents. Socialsituation, social class, and cultural worldviewencourage specific parenting attitudes andactions. In some places, mothers and theirchildren are isolated from other social con-texts; in others, children are reared inextended families in which care is provided bymany individuals (Bornstein & Lamb, 1992).



The ways in which spouses provide supportand show respect for each other in parent-ing—how they work together as a coparentingteam—influence their positive parenting(McHale, Khazan, Rotman, DeCourcey, &McConnell, 2002). In the West, frequency ofcontact with significant others, such as com-munity and friendship supports, improvesparents’ sense of their own efficacy and compe-tence as well as the positive quality of parent-child relationships (Cochran & Niego, 2002).For example, parents develop feelings ofcompetence and satisfaction through contactwith advice givers, role models, and personswho share their responsibilities. Mothers withsocial support (especially from husbands) feelless harried and overwhelmed, have fewercompeting demands on their time, and as aconsequence are more sensitive and responsiveto their children. SES also exerts differentialeffects on parenting through the education ofparents and provisions in the environment itmay afford (Bornstein & Bradley, 2003). Forexample, high-SES parents compared withlow-SES parents typically provide childrenwith more opportunities for variety in dailystimulation, more appropriate play materials,and more total stimulation, especially lan-guage (Hoff, Laursen, & Tardif, 2002), andhigh-SES parents also tend to be moreinvolved than low-SES parents at school(Shumow & Miller, 2001). Finally, virtuallyall aspects of child rearing and child develop-ment are shaped by cultural habits (Bornstein,1991; Harkness & Super, 1996). We acquiremany of our understandings of parenting andchildhood simply by living in a culture:Generational, social, and media images of par-enting, childhood, and family life, handed-down or co-constructed, play significant rolesin helping people form their parenting beliefsand guide their parenting behaviors(Goodnow, 2002). For example, parents fromdifferent cultures differ in their opinions aboutwhich specific positives in child developmentspell success.

Contemporary family research teachesthat parenting combines intuitive knowledge,self-constructed aspects, shared culturalconstructions, and direct experiences withchildren (Borkowski, Ramey, & Bristol-Power, 2002; Bornstein, 2002b). No onefactor is determinative and trumps all others;rather, in a comprehensive systems view ofparenting and human development, manyfactors—biology and genetics, environmentand experience—influence positive parentingand positive child development. Understandingthe role of each improves explanatory power.

PROGRAMS THAT PROMOTEPOSITIVE PARENTING ANDPOSITIVE DEVELOPMENT INCHILDREN

1. In all actions concerning children,whether undertaken by public or privatesocial welfare institutions, courts of law,administrative authorities or legislativebodies, the best interests of the childshall be a primary consideration.


3. States Parties shall ensure that theinstitutions, services and facilitiesresponsible for the care or protection ofchildren shall conform with the standardsestablished by competent authorities,particularly in the areas of safety, health,in the number and suitability of theirstaff, as well as competent supervision.


Positive characteristics and values in thephysical, social-emotional, and cognitivedomains of development can all be targetedfor promotion and are all responsive to effec-tive interventions. That is, individual, inter-personal, and environmental factors can bebrought to bear to promote the positivedevelopment of children. Of course, some



positive characteristics and values may bemore plastic than others. Reciprocally, ineveryday life, positive parenting is not alwaysin effect. Parenting is often time-consuming,effortful, complex, and sometimes ineffec-tive. The time available for positive parentinghas diminished, and economic pressures onparents have caused children to receive inad-equate care and even to be placed in less-than-positive environments at ever earliertimes in their lives. Today, many ills infectparenting and impede positive child develop-ment: Increasing numbers of births world-wide occur to single or teenage mothers,babies are born crack addicted, manychildren are not fully immunized, the veryyoung are common victims of abuse andneglect, and many youth are reared in poverty.

Since the 1880s and the publication of theHandbook for Friendly Visitors Among thePoor, by the Charity Organization Society ofthe City of New York, the state has hadmanifest interest in improving parental edu-cation and social support services for parentsin need (Smith, C., Perou, & Lesesne, 2002).For both positive and negative reasonsmentioned earlier, contemporary parentinghas witnessed an explosive growth in parent-ing programs. Still, these efforts have focusedon the prevention of negative outcomes morethan on the promotion of positive parentingand positive child development.

Children are reared in families but also inchild care programs, in schools, and in com-munity settings. From the perspective of anecological model (Lerner et al., 2002), parentsinfluence the “social health” of the environ-ments their children inhabit through theircitizenship and politics (Garbarino, Vorrasi, &Kostelny, 2002), and those environmentscontribute in critical ways to support positivecharacteristics and values in children.Fortunately, much is known today about thepatterns and periods of early learning and thequality of environments that benefit youngchildren’s development (Bornstein et al.,

2002). Belief in the potential of the early yearsas a time when families can foster develop-mental and educational processes in childrenis strong. From birth through the lower pri-mary grades, children’s physical health, socialand emotional development, and mentalgrowth requirements can be better managedby many disadvantaged or taxed parentsthrough supportive efforts from profession-als. Parent programs make significant contri-butions to positive parenting and to positivechild development. The best programs edu-cate parents and other caregivers in ways thatenhance positive parenting.

The family is the principal source of careand development of the young child. Theresponsibility for determining the child’s bestinterests rests first and foremost with parents,and parental involvement remains theindispensable ingredient for sustaining theaccomplishments of extrafamilial childhoodeducation programs. Therefore, the doctrineof parental rights must remain a fundamentalpremise of parent education efforts (Smith, C.,et al., 2002). However, substantial variationexists among parents, and some parental nur-turing styles, socioemotional interactions, andcognitive exchanges appear to be less con-ducive to providing “optimal developmentalenvironments” for positive development inchildren. Thus, for those who want it, the pri-mary socializing function of the family can beprofitably supplemented with child-rearinginformation and guidance. Furthermore, theability of parents to care for and educate theirchildren can be strengthened by support fromneighbors, friends, relatives, social groups,and professionals.

Parenting programs usually involvepsychological support and informationabout child rearing and child development,and they normally focus on children’s health,social, psychological, and educational needs.Contemporary programs are highly diverse intheir theoretical and conceptual frameworks,the populations they serve, the intensity of



service, and the types of intervention activitiesthey advocate, depending on needs andcultural context. Moreover, parenting pro-grams are usually guided by several assump-tions: most notably that parents are normallythe most consistent and caring people in thelives of their children; when parents are pro-vided with knowledge, skills, and supports,they can respond more positively and effec-tively to their children; and parents’ ownemotional and physical needs must be met ifthey are to respond positively and effectivelyto their children.

The general orientation of parent supportprograms is to help families to provide sta-ble, nurturing, and healthy environments forchildren. Parents come to feel that they arenot rearing their children in isolation andthat there are people in programs to whichthey can turn for information and for ashared sense of the challenges and satisfac-tions surrounding child and family develop-ment. Tools commonly found in parentingprograms promote positive parenting (seeBox 9.2).

Positive programs for parents are guidedby beliefs in the consummate role of familiesin rearing their own children and the impor-tance of family participation in defining itsown priorities and identifying appropriateintervention strategies. Families are bestserved when they are helped to enhance theirown skills and traditions, rather than whendecisions are made and solutions imposed onor implemented for them. Interventions thatwill foster positive parenting and positivedevelopment in children need to be sensitiveto sociocultural diversity in families, andthey do well to build on strengths within thefamily. Because individuals who share socio-cultural similarities can still differ significantlyin goals, values, and resources, endeavors toenhance positive parenting must still respondto unique characteristics of the family, such asthe age of parents and children, gender of off-spring, and ethnicity of the family.

Some practitioners have contended thatthe central responsibility for a family lieswith the family and that it is outside thepurview of government or other institutionsto intervene. However, public and privateresponsibility must be viewed not as at odds,but rather as complementary. The degree towhich the formal structures in a communitysupply families with helpful supportsdepends at least in part on the characteristics,desires, and current circumstances of indivi-dual families. Even small positive experiencesaggregate to large, long-term gains (Abelson,1985). Thus, increasing child care needs,resulting, for example, from changes infamily structures or women’s work patterns,combined with recognition of the develop-mental needs of the child provide powerfularguments for governments, communities,employers, and families to identify appropri-ate and affordable solutions to the provisionof effective parenting programs. Onlythrough complex and sensitive interventions,however, can parent and family, and contextand environment be brought to bear on theroute and terminus of the child’s develop-ment. That pursuing such programs chal-lenges us does not mean we should shrinkfrom them. Our children’s positive develop-ment is at stake.

POSITIVE PARENTING:A POSTSCRIPT

2. For the purpose of guaranteeing andpromoting the rights set forth in thepresent Convention, States Parties shallrender appropriate assistance to parentsand legal guardians in the performance oftheir child-rearing responsibilities andshall ensure the development of institu-tions, facilities and services for the care ofchildren.




Parents intend much in interacting withtheir children: They ensure their children’sphysical health through the sustenance theyprovide, the protections they establish, andthe models may afford. They foster their

children’s emotional regulation, developmentof self, and social awareness and sensitivityin meaningful relationships and experiencesin and outside the family through theirown behaviors and the values they display.


Box 9.2 Tools for Positive Parenting

Parenting programs are guided by beliefs that emphasize the importance of addressingfamily needs when serving individual children, recognizing the family as a social sys-tem, and considering environmental and cultural influences when evaluating familyneeds and resources. Certain tools can help to address these requirements for positiveparenting. They include the following:

� Knowledge about child development. Positive parenting benefits from knowledgeof parenting itself and how children develop. Children’s normative patterns andstages of physical, nutritional, and health needs, emotional and social require-ments, and verbal and cognitive necessities at different stages should be part of theknowledge base for parenthood. Understanding the patterns and processes ofdevelopment helps parents to develop more realistic expectations of child develop-ment and the requisite skills for children’s achieving positive competencies.

� Observing skills. Parents need to know how to observe their children. Child watch-ing can help one understand a child’s level of development in relation to what onewould like the child to learn or accomplish. Parents need information and obser-vation skills to help them discover the match between their child’s ability or readi-ness and ways and means to help their child achieve developmental goals.

� Strategies for problem prevention and discipline. Parents need creative insights formanaging their children’s behavior. Knowledge and skills regarding alternativemethods of discipline and problem avoidance are basic. Knowing how to imple-ment positive rewards can help a child more fully enjoy and appreciate the explo-ration and struggles required in mastering new skills and stages of growth.

� Supports for emotional and social, cognitive and language development. Parentswho learn to speak and read to their children and to present their children withappealing solvable problems will enrich the actions the child carries out and thefeelings the child expresses. Knowing how to take advantage of settings, routines,and activities at hand to create learning and problem-solving opportunitiesenhances parenting and positive development.

� Personal sources of support. Positive parenting draws on patience, flexibility, andgoal orientation, and parents must command an ability to extract pleasure fromtheir encounters with children. Parents need to understand the positive impact theycan have on their children’s lives through their expressed attention, pleasure, lis-tening, and interest. These activities nourish a child’s growing sense of self, just asfood nourishes a child’s growing body.


And they promote their children’s mentaldevelopment through the structures theycreate and the meanings they place on thosestructures. In fact, a parent’s main job is tofacilitate positive child development—ahealthy and fit body, self-confidence, capa-city for intimacy, achievement motivation,pleasure in play and work, friendships withpeers, and early and continued intellectualsuccess and fulfillment. A mens sana in acorpore sano.

The good news is that we can influence notjust some, but all positive characteristics andvalues we want to see children develop.Intelligence may be inherited in part, but to beinherited does not mean to be immutable.Longitudinal studies of intelligence showthat individuals change over time (Neisser et al., 1996). Even heritable traits depend onlearning for their expression, and they are sub-ject to experiential influences. Attention deficithyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is partly bio-logically determined. But if parents give theirchildren skills training, make certain their chil-dren receive appropriate medication, and hirededicated and knowledgeable tutors, they willchange the trajectory of their children’s livesfor the positive (Hodapp, 2002). Such positiveparenting makes the difference between theADHD children who drop out of school andthose who complete college.

A full understanding of what it means toparent a child positively, however, dependson the dynamics of the family and the eco-logy in which that parenting takes place(Bornstein, 2002b). Within-family experi-ences exercise a major impact during theearly years of life, and the nuclear familytriad—mother, father, child—constitutes thecrucible within which young children ini-tially grow and develop. Young children alsonaturally form important familial relation-ships with siblings and grandparents, andthey have significant experiences with peersand nonfamilial adults outside the family,often through enrollment in alternative-care

settings. Family support, social class, andcultural variation affect patterns of parentingand exert salient influences on the ways inwhich young children are reared and what isexpected of them as they grow. These earlydiverse relationships all ensure that the“parenting” children experience is rich andmultifaceted. What also needs to be ensuredis that all (or as much as possible) of thisparenting coordinates the positive for parentsand for children.

Of course, human development is toosubtle, dynamic, and intricate to admit thatparental caregiving alone determines thecourse and outcome of child development;positive development is shaped by individu-als themselves and by experiences that takeplace after childhood and outside the scopeof parents’ influence. Mature characteristicspossess a partly biological basis, health,temperament, and intelligence among them.Unquestionably, peer dynamics influencechildren. At the same time, it makes littlesense to argue (as has Harris, 1998) thatchildren are susceptible to influences fromoutside the family, but not from inside thefamily and from individuals they spend themost time with: their own parents. Thus,positive parenting does not fix the route orterminus of child development. Still, there ismeaning and possibly enduring significanceto positive parenting from the start.

Parenting is central to childhood, to childdevelopment, and to a society’s long-terminvestment in children. Parents are funda-mentally invested in young children: their sur-vival, their socialization, and their education.So, we are motivated to know about themeaning and importance of parenting asmuch for itself as out of the desire to improvethe lives of children. Parenting portends muchabout the later life of children and parents.

If we are fatalists, we accept the situationwe live in. If we are not, we parent positively,and we take affirmative social and politicalsteps to organize superb child care, to ensure


07-Lerner (ADS).qxd 12/15/2004 3:06 PM 1

children’s associations with respectable peers,to erect supportive environments for childrenwith appropriate stimulation, to guaranteechildren more than merely adequate schooling,and to enroll children in growth-promotingextracurricular activities. Positive parentinglies at the foundation of a science of strengthand resilience: making normal people strongerand more productive, as well as actualizinghuman potential. Policy sometimes needs tofocus on interventions that attempt to cure,but policy needs equally to guarantee experi-ences that are positive in their own rightbecause they improve prevailing conditions.“Models of care” are just as important as

“models of cure.” Positive parenting willprevent deficit, disorder, and disability; butpositive parenting will also promote humanstrengths, such as courage, optimism, inter-personal skill, work ethic, hope, responsibility,future mindedness, honesty, and perseverance.This in itself is a noble and desirable goal.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

This chapter summarizes selected aspectsof my research, and portions of the text haveappeared in previous scientific publicationscited in the references.


NOTES

1. The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child (UnitedNations General Assembly, 1990) has been signed by 191 countries; only Somaliaand the United States have not signed.

2. Women’s labor force participation peaks between 25 and 44 years,which is also the period in which women normally experience a peak in child careresponsibilities.

3. The chapter presents a synopsis of theory, data, and principles about posi-tive parenting and child development derived from the body of available Westernresearch; much less is currently known scientifically about non-Western parentsand children. It could be that positive characteristics and values in developmentvary in situations that are, for example, less individualistic and capitalistic in theirideology than is found in the United States and Western Europe. For children in theEuropean American middle class, for example, the authoritative parenting style(combining high levels of warmth with moderate-to-high levels of discipline andcontrol; Baumrind, 1989) is associated with achievement of social competence andoverall adaptation when compared with other parenting styles, such as authoritarianparenting (high levels of control but little warmth or responsiveness to children’sneeds), which has generally been associated with poor developmental outcomes inchildren. In non–European American ethnic groups, other patterns may obtain. Forexample, adolescents from European American and Latin American homes whoreport having experienced authoritative parenting in growing up perform wellacademically, better than those coming from nonauthoritative households. However,school performance is similar for authoritatively and for nonauthoritativelyreared Asian Americans and African Americans (Bornstein, 1995). Furthermore,ethnographic observations suggest that authoritarian parenting may be adaptive insome situations. European American parents in different income groups who engagein intrusive and controlling behaviors typically score high on scales of authoritarianparenting. However, work among low-income African American families suggeststhat a directive style of interaction is adaptive and is not harsh control. That is, anauthoritarian style may constitute an appropriate adjustment in circumstances


(e.g., certain inner-city neighborhoods) in which it is a parent’s job to impress onthe child the necessity of following rules (Steinberg, Dornbusch, & Brown, 1992).Indeed, authoritarian parenting in some contexts may achieve the same ultimatefunction—successful social adaptation—that authoritative parenting serves inother contexts (Bornstein, 1995).

4. Order of presentation does not imply any precedence of one domain orelement over another.

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