simple strategies and life hacks to bring out the best in ... · objectives 2 learn how to identify...
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Simple Strategies and Life Hacks to Bring Out the Best in Others
©2019 Magellan Health, Inc.
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Objectives
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Learn how to identify and affirm strengths in others
Identify the importance of active engagement over passivity
Recognize the vital roles of listening, understanding and vulnerability
Understand how creating new habits and skills will not only help bring out the best in others but also in you
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How do we motivate and bring out the best in others?
Learning how to identify and affirm strengths in others is the key!
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What are the qualities in those who bring out the best in you?
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• Optimistic
• Approachable
• Kind/friendly
• Good listener
• Makes good eye contact
• Values differing opinions
• Mentors or inspires
• Flexible
• Gives recognition
• Focuses on strengths
• Slow to judge
• Encouraging
• Positive self-esteem
• Respectful
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Operant conditioning
A method of learning that occurs through rewards and punishments for behavior. Through Operant Conditioning, an individual makes an association between a particular behavior and a consequence (Skinner, 1938).
When a favorable outcome, event, or reward occurs after an action, that particular response or behavior will be strengthened. This is called Positive Reinforcement.
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Positive reinforcement
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Research has found positive reinforcement is the most powerful of any of these. Adding a positive to increase a response not only works better but allows both parties to focus on the positive aspects of the situation. Punishment, when applied immediately following the negative behavior can be effective but it can also invoke other negative responses such as anger and resentment.
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Applications of these principles
Potty training toddlers
Dog obedience and behavior training
Praise and reward is given to reinforce the desired behavior.
Providing positive reinforcement over time achieves the desired outcomes.
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Everyday examples
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Recognizing accomplishments with your child or spouse/partner will make them feel appreciated and more likely to continue to strive toward goals or actions.
Listening to others with good eye contact and paraphrasing information they have given you communicates you care enough to hear what they are saying.
Taking time to get to know new acquaintances, employees, coworkers or friends shows interest in that person which will become evident to them.
Providing consistent positive feedback shows others you recognize their efforts and appreciate them.
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Tips for bringing out the best in others
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Focus on a person’s strengths
Empathize
Give recognition
Treat people kindly
Give people responsibility
Listen
Get to know people
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Negative consequences and punishment
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Punishment (or negative consequences) when applied immediately following the negative behavior can be very effective.
Punishment without positive reinforcement/affirmations can lead to negative responses in others such as anger and resentment.
Punishment is designed to stop undesirable behavior. It does nothing to motivate people and bring out the best in them.
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What does not bring out the best in others?
UnapproachableIrritable/angry/intimidating Verbally abusive/shaming/ belittling Not genuineOnly give negative feedbackDon’t value others’ feedback, contributions or effortsOnly punishReward the wrong behaviorRely solely on money as reward
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When constructive criticism is needed
There are times when we must provide feedback to help improve performance, functioning or interactions with others.
How you deliver that feedback is essential in achieving a positive or negative outcome with others.
Constructive criticism can help!
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Four steps of constructive confrontation
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Acknowledge: Reinforce that person’s value to the organization, your relationship or others.
Confront: Identify the problem behavior that needs to change or improve.
Support: Recommend suggestions to assist the person to improve and reinforce again that person’s value and contributions.
Follow-up: Talk regularly with that person to determine improvement and assess for additional assistance needed.
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Communication: Roles of listening, understanding and vulnerability
The benefits of being listened to
How to demonstrate we understand someone
The Platinum Rule
Humans enjoy connecting with others because it
makes us happy and good communication is key
when it comes to positive social interaction.
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Key communication skills - OARS
Open-ended questions
Affirmation
Reflective listening
Summarizing
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Why people change
Values support it
Think it’s important
Believe we can
Work through ambivalence
Ready for it
Good plan in place
Sufficient social supports
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Communication with motivation in mind
The importance of internal motivation
Obstacles
Most change is self-change
People tend to act on their beliefs, not others
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Engaging
The foundation of every relationship- the process in which both individuals develop a relationship and connection.
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Focusing
Focusing is the process of becoming clear about what is being communicated
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Creating new habits
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Practice
Negativity bias
Seeing the good in others impacts the way they view us
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What are ways we can bring out the best in others?
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References
Click here for 4 Industries That Feel The Urgency Of AI Ethics
Click here for More on “Motivational Interviewing” as a Method for Workplace Change Leadership
Click here for You Can’t Force Anyone to Change Their Minds or Actions
Click here for Motivational Interviewing
Click here for Motivational interviewing in the workplace
Click here for Can You Spot Others’ Strengths?
Click here for See the Good in Others