Persuasive Research Essay Outline • Let’s look over the outline of this essay.

• Notice the amount of sentences required per paragraph.

• Notice how much evidence is required to support your ideas.

THESIS STATEMENTS 101The most important SENTENCE in any text!

A GOOD thesis sentence has three main parts:

1) the limited subject (what your paper is about),

2) the precise opinion (what you're trying to say about that subject), and

3) the essay map (a brief outline of how you're going to support your claim – should explain “HOW” or “WHY” your idea/opinion is right or strong; Rationale)

Basic Example

1) Subject: Restoring old houses

(Circle the subject)

2) Opinion: Restoring old houses is rewarding. (underline the opinion)

3) Essay map: It is exciting, relaxing, and satisfying. (box the essay map)

Basic Thesis Statement

•>Use “BECAUSE” to put it all together into a Basic Thesis Statement:

•Restoring old houses is rewarding BECAUSE it is exciting, relaxing, and satisfying.

Strong Thesis Statement

• >Use qualifiers like ALTHOUGH, WHEN, IF and revise vocabulary into a Strong Thesis Statement:

• When antique houses are restored, home-owners not only reap the benefits of a new home but also the excitement, relaxation, and satisfaction of the process.

Revision: BASIC to STRONG

• Restoring old houses is rewarding BECAUSE it is exciting, relaxing, and satisfying.

• When antique houses are restored, home-owners not only reap the benefits of a new home but also the excitement, relaxation, and satisfaction of the process.

Dr. Thesis: Diagnosis

Each of the following thesis patients has a sickness. Diagnose the problem and give a prescription. Which part of the thesis is present and which is missing?1) Chefs are better than cooks. 2) Steroid abuse3) Hip hop is the best thing that has happened to music in twenty years.4) I enjoy white water rafting.

Weak > Basic > Great > Strong

•Chefs are better than cooks. •Chefs are better than cooks because chefs have more education, are more professional, and are creative with the food they create.

•ALTHOUGH both chefs and cooks can prepare fine meals, chefs differ from cooks in education, professional commitment, and artistry.

Your Turn to Play Dr. Thesis

• For each student thesis, diagnose the problem and the prescription needed. Which part of the thesis is present and which is missing?

• Determine if it is Weak, Basic, Great, or Strong.

•Revise the thesis into a Great or Strong Thesis.

DAILYHomework: get a company journal, choose 3 essay examples, sketch your parkSong: “Lazy Song” by Bruno Mars – Pajama Day

1. What is a thesis statement? Why is it important?

2. What 3 main parts are needed in every good thesis statement?

3. What is a qualifier? • A word or phrase modifies the meaning of another word

or phrase.

Keep this work out and available for the period….

•Stapled article packet – please staple the 3 SQPRS/GIST worksheets to the top of the article packet and staple the 3 new articles to the back of the packet

Company meeting• What are your next steps? Your company must create

at least 3 promotional materials (poster, brochure, website, commercial, etc.) Decide who is going to do what. Start sketching out your park.

• Potential tasks to assign: • Begin visual layout of the park• Create poster• Create brochure• Create website• Design characters and/or symbols to display on exhibition night

DAILYHomework: journal, complete 3 E’s chart Song: “Is There A Ghost” by Band of Horses – to get us into the Halloween spirit Happy Twin Day!

1) What 3 examples did you write last night?2) Complete the following BASIC thesis

statement using your 3 examples: • Basic Thesis Statement: Benefactors should invest in the Pirate’s Adventure Theme Park section of Andy Town because (1st reason) , (2nd reason) and (3rd reason) .

Weak > Basic > Great > Strong

•Steroid abuse•Steroids should be banned from sports.

•Steroids should be banned from sports BECAUSE athletes tend to abuse them.

•Steroids, even those legally available, are addictive and should be banned from sports.

Weak > Basic > Great > Strong• Hip hop is the best thing that has happened to music in twenty years.

• Hip hop is the best thing that has happened to music in twenty years BECAUSE it gives kids a way of expressing themselves and is an example of poetry found in the streets.

• Though many people dismiss hip hop as offensive, hip hop music offers urban youth an important opportunity for artistic expression, and allows them to articulate the poetry of the street.

Weak > Basic > Great > Strong

• I enjoy white water rafting.• I enjoy white water rafting BECAUSE it is challenging and transforming.

• A first water rafting experience can challenge the body and spirit and transform an adolescent into an adult.

• Although white water rafting can be dangerous, a first water rafting experience can actually challenge the body and spirit and transform an adolescent into an adult.

Student Theses•1. Republican presidents have contributed to the “American Dream” more so than the Democrats. • Present: subject, opinion • Missing: essay map• Basic• Strong: Republican presidents have contributed to the “American Dream” more so than the Democrats by lowering taxes and increasing job supply.

Strong Student Theses •With your partner, choose the best STRONG thesis statements for the numbers assigned.

• If one of your names is called, be prepared to share your answers with the class.

Writing Section – Write a STRONG thesis statement.

• It is now time to apply your knowledge and understanding of thesis statements.

• Prompt:• Why should benefactors invest in your theme park section? What makes your ideas innovative with a potential for success?

• Basic Thesis Statement: Benefactors should invest in the Pirate’s Adventure Theme Park section of Andy Town because (1st reason) , (2nd reason) and (3rd reason) .

DAILYHomework: complete first essay draft, journalSong: “This is Halloween” by Marilyn Manson – Rachel Happy Halloween!

1. What is a topic sentence? 2. What is a closing/transition sentence? 3. Make a quote sandwich.“There is a reason why when most people think of ‘theme park’ they think of Disney.” –www.forbes.com

Please take out your body paragraphs.

Journaling the Journey• Beginning tonight, your company needs to journal the

journey of designing and building your theme park.• Each entry should be about 2 pages and should describe

the challenges and triumphs you’ve experienced.• Each entry should:

• Include the date• Be hand-written (Neatly! Organization matters!)• Be 2 pages• Include detailed descriptions of the team process• Include sketches and doodles that are inspiring your theme park

design (handwritten or computer/magazine images)• Be written from the perspective of a theme park designer!

Design roles• CEO (Chief Executive Officer) - As CEO Joe leads all Thinkwell operations; from

live shows and events, to multi-scale developments and educational experiences, he keeps teams focused, on schedule and on budget.

• Creative Director - In the themed entertainment industry, Dave is the ideal hybrid of passionate fan and creative professional. At Thinkwell, he offers creative leadership, strong vision and ever-inventive ways to approach a problem with confidence.

• Production Manager - Ryan has worked with Thinkwell since the company's inception, earning the nickname "Employee #2". As Production Manager, he manages the day-to-day production elements, facilitating the creative and administrative process to deliver the project on time and on budget.

• Client Relations - At Thinkwell, Kirsten manages client relationships - increasing their understanding of the Thinkwell process and communicating the priorities of our clients to our production teams, thereby ensuring that our clients' goals are realized.

• Finance Manager - As the Manager of Finance for Thinkwell Group, Steven is responsible for analyzing project costs, managing cash flow, and most importantly, distributing paychecks to the hard-working Thinkwell team, making him incredibly popular on Friday afternoons.

• Visit www.thinkwellgroup.com for more options! Click on Our People and explore the different positions available. Read the bios for ideas about what to discuss in your journal entries.

Journal Entry Example• October 30, 2011• Today was especially difficult. As the theme park’s Creative Director, I was challenged on many levels today. My team was working to construct our park’s main attraction, the Twisty Turner, when we stumbled upon a major problem. We do not have enough tracks to complete the course! Our benefactors supplied us with the budget we asked for, but it turns out that we need more money! What are we going to do? …

Body Paragraphs• Topic Sentence

• Introduces the main argument in the paragraph.• Example

• An example from your business plan that supports your thesis.

• Evidence• Research that supports why an existing local theme

park is not as special as yours.• Explanation

• Explain why the quote supports your argument.• Do not say, “This quote is important because…”

• Closing/Transition Sentence• Wrap up your thoughts. Connect to the example in the

next paragraph.

Transitions• Also• And • Besides • Furthermore • In addition • In fact • Indeed • Moreover • So too

• Link the 2 examples together.

• Not only does Pirate Land offer family fun for everyone, it also provides an affordable admission price.

• In addition to offering family fun for everyone, Pirate Land is also reasonably priced.

Quote Blending Practice

• Turn to the 4th page of your essay packet.

• We will practice QUOTE BLENDING…the art of blending your chosen evidence into your essay.

Quote Blending•What is a quote?•A quote is a group of words taken from a text or speech and repeated by someone other than the original author or speaker.

HOW TO MAKE A QUOTE SANDWICH

A quote sandwich has 3 main parts

1. Context

2. Quote

3. Explanation (Analysis)

An example of a quote sandwich

• According to the website www.about.com, “Disneyland has almost 60 rides and a host of other attractions.” Although Disneyland offers exciting family fun for its patrons, the Pirate’s Adventure Theme Park tops Mickey’s palace when it comes to roller coaster offerings. From merry-go-rounds to coaters high the sky, the Pirate Park has rides the entire family can enjoy, including teenagers. While Disneyland mostly caters to its young customers, this park is fun for everyone.

1. Context• Where in the article the quotation is from• Which author said or thought it• What is happening at that momentExample:

According to the website www.about.com, “Disneyland has almost 60 rides and a host of other attractions.” Although Disneyland offers exciting family fun for its patrons, the Pirate’s Adventure Theme Park tops Mickey’s palace when it comes to roller coaster offerings. From merry-go-rounds to coaters high the sky, the Pirate Park has rides the entire family can enjoy, including teenagers. While Disneyland mostly caters to its young customers, this park is fun for everyone.

2. Quotation• Should not be too long• Must be punctuated correctly• Must be followed by the correct MLA citation

Example:• According to the website www.about.com, “Disneyland has

almost 60 rides and a host of other attractions.” Although Disneyland offers exciting family fun for its patrons, the Pirate’s Adventure Theme Park tops Mickey’s palace when it comes to roller coaster offerings. From merry-go-rounds to coaters high the sky, the Pirate Park has rides the entire family can enjoy, including teenagers. While Disneyland mostly caters to its young customers, this park is fun for everyone.

Punctuating the quote

• Ms. Anderson said, “the quote will start with a lower case letter if you lead into it” (www.wikipedia.com).• The period goes after the parenthesis.• Unless already stated, the website should be in

parentheses after the quote.

• According to www.englishrocks.com, Ms. Anderson yelled, “…and sit down everyone!”• Use an ellipsis (…) to indicate extracted

information.

3. Explanation (Analysis)• Your interpretation• Explain how it supports your thesis statement (your argument)• Describe what the quote reveals

Example:• According to the website www.about.com, “Disneyland

has almost 60 rides and a host of other attractions.” Although Disneyland offers exciting family fun for its patrons, the Pirate’s Adventure Theme Park tops Mickey’s palace when it comes to roller coaster offerings. From merry-go-rounds to coaters high the sky, the Pirate Park has rides the entire family can enjoy, including teenagers. While Disneyland mostly caters to its young customers, this park is fun for everyone.

Quote Sandwich…mmm…delicious!

• According to the website www.about.com, “Disneyland has almost 60 rides and a host of other attractions.” Although Disneyland offers exciting family fun for its patrons, the Pirate’s Adventure Theme Park tops Mickey’s palace when it comes to roller coaster offerings. From merry-go-rounds to coaters high the sky, the Pirate Park has rides the entire family can enjoy, including teenagers. While Disneyland mostly caters to its young customers, this park is fun for everyone.

Context

Quote

Explanation

Practice Quote Blends

• “Legoland has 50 attractions in 10 themed areas, including not-too-scary “pink knuckle” rides, live shows and interactive attractions.” –USA Today 10/14/11

• “There is a reason why when most people think of “theme park” they think of Disney.” –www.forbes.com

Checking for Understanding

1. What is a topic sentence? 2. What is a closing sentence? 3. How many pieces of evidence

should be in each body paragraph?4. How many explanation sentences

per piece of evidence do you need?

Rubric Explanation• 4 = 6 complete worksheets with signatures, all 6

annotated articles with signatures

• 3 = 5 complete worksheets with signatures, at least 5 annotated articles with signatures

• 2 = 4 complete worksheets with signatures, at least 4 annotated articles with signatures

• 1 = 3 or less complete worksheets with signatures, 3 or less annotated articles with signatures

DAILYSkill: Essay Structure, Thesis Statements, MLA

Homework: Essay due tomorrow!, JournalSong: “November Rain” by Guns & Roses – for the new month!

1. When I say, “your paper must be typed in MLA format,” what do I mean? **What does MLA stand for?

2. List 3 MLA format rules. (Look for the MLA handout!)

3. What is a Works Cited page?

Please take out your first essay draft.

ESSAY RUBRICTake notes on what you see!

•Go beyond the confines of the assignment. Consider broader issues, make new connections, elaborate on the significance of your findings.

•Conclusion should make your readers glad they read the subject.

•Readers should take away something that will help them see things in a different way or appreciate things in personally relevant ways.

Remember…

1. If you’re stuck and feel like your conclusion isn’t saying anything new or interesting, review it with a friend. Read a a statement from your conclusion and ask your friend to ask you, “So what?”

2. Return to the ideas in the introduction. Use parallel concepts and images.

3. Show your reader how the points you made and the support and examples you used fit together. Pull it all together.

4. Propose a course of action, a solution, or questions for further study.

STRATEGIES to HELP

1. Using unnecessary, overused phrases like, “in conclusion,” or “in closing”

2. Ending with a rephrased thesis statement without any major changes

3. Making sentimental, emotional appeals4. Including evidence that should be in the

body of the paper

STRATEGIES to AVOID

DAILYSkill: Essay Structure, Thesis Statements, MLA

Homework: FINAL Essay, Journal EntrySong: “Ticket to Ride” by The Beatles – for William

Daily:For the daily, complete the “Revising” worksheet with honest, thoughtful answers. Write in complete sentences and take your time.

Take out your essay and company journal.

THESIS STATEMENT QUIZ #2

Avoiding Plagiarism

Proper citation of your sources in MLA style can help you avoid plagiarism, which is a serious offense. It may result in anything from failure of the assignment to expulsion from school.

MLA Style: Two Parts

•Parenthetical Citations

•Works Cited Page

Parenthetical Citations•At the end of each quotation (piece of evidence) or paraphrased sentence, you must include a parenthetical citation.

•There are specific rules for citations.

Parenthetical Citations•Author known: (last name pg. #)•Author unknown: (complete title name pg. #)

•Page number unknown: (last name only), (title name only)

•Title unknown: (organization name)•Website: (shortened web address)

A Sample Works Cited Page

Smith 12Works Cited

David Copperfield. 1849-1850. New York: Houghton Mifflin

Company, 1958.

Dickens, Charles. Bleak House. 1852-1853. New York: Penguin,

1985.

Miller, J. Hillis. Charles Dickens: The World and His Novels.

Bloomington: U of Indiana P, 1958.

Zwerdling, Alex. “Esther Summerson Rehabilitated.” PMLA 88 (May

1973): 429-439.

Highlight Check: Introduction• Hook: Yellow• Background Information (Bridge): Green

• TIP: Turn the essay prompt questions into descriptive sentences.• Benefactors want to invest their money into successful

projects. Innovation and creativity are key to a worthwhile investment. In order to get investors’ attention, the winning theme park must be original and exciting.

• Thesis: Blue

• Do you have every sentence required?• Put a STAR next to the sentences that need editing.

Highlight Check: Body Paragraphs• Topic Sentence: Yellow

• Should introduce the topic of the paragraph.• Example (1)• Evidence/Quote: Blue

• Check for quote blends, quotation marks and citations.

• Explanation (2-3): Green• Closing/Transition: Yellow

• Are you missing sentences?

Highlight Check: Conclusion•Restated Thesis: Blue

• Make sure the thesis is stated in NEW words (not just copied and pasted from the introduction)

•Final thoughts: Green•“So what?” closing statement: Yellow

1 inch margins

all around.

First and Last Name Instructor’s last name

only Title of Course Due date in Date Month

Year format

Your last Name & Page #

1”

1”

1”

MLA

FO

RM

AT

TIN

GTyped

within the margin

Double spacing

everywhere…Everywhere!

12pt and readable font used througho

ut

No extra space

between paragraph

s

Title is centere

d.

First line of each entry is

at left margin;

subsequent lines are

indented ½” (tab or 5 spaces).

List is alphabetize

d by authors’

last names.

Heading centered 1” from top of page. Double

spacing everywher

e…Everywher

e!

How to cite your web sources

• Editor, author, or compiler name (if available). Name of Site. Version number. Name of institution/organization affiliated with the site (sponsor or publisher), date of resource creation (if available). Medium of publication. Date of access.• The Purdue OWL Family of Sites. The Writing Lab and

OWL at Purdue and Purdue U, 2008. Web. 23 Apr. 2008.• Felluga, Dino. Guide to Literary and Critical Theory. Purdue

U, 28 Nov. 2003. Web. 10 May 2006.• It is necessary to list your date of access because web

postings are often updated, and information available on one date may no longer be available later. Be sure to include the complete address for the site.

• Use n.p. if no publisher name is available and n.d. if no publishing date is given.

PEER EDITINGSwitch essays with someone from your company.

DAILYSkill: Essay Structure, Thesis Statements, MLA

Homework: journal entry, annotated article

Song: “Headlines” by Drake – Masoud, Kassy, Joe

Daily: Get ready to turn your essay work in. Staple/paperclip in this order:1. Final typed essay with Works Cited page2. Rough drafts of essay3. Peer edit sheet (if you did one)4. Essay packet5. Revising6. Article Packet

Take out your essay work and company journal.

Afterthoughts An afterthought is a thorough reflection on the writing process.

• Paragraph 1: Reflect on the amount of time the writing took you and the process you went through in creating it.

• Paragraph 2: Reflect on the problems that you encountered while writing, the revisions that you made, and the response you received from others during editing.

• Paragraph 3: Write about what you learned from working on this piece of writing, what you would do differently of you were to do it again, what the strengths of the piece are, and what you hope others appreciate about it.

Afterthoughts ExampleThis piece took me about two weeks to write from start to finish. I began

by brainstorming ideas, and then moved on to making a complete outline. From there I wrote two drafts and received feedback on both. Finally, I typed up the final draft with corrections.

The biggest problems that I encountered were with blending my quotes well. I started out just putting the quotes in without explaining them or writing the page number. It was really difficult to get the hang of having to introduce the background information about the quote before I wrote it in. My peer editing partner helped me find the places where I could blend my quotes better and I was able to make them a little bit better.

From working on this piece I learned that you really do need to go back and make lots of changes to an essay before you turn in the final draft. If I hadn’t made changes to my quotes, I might have failed the essay. If I was going to write this essay again I would be sure to follow the outline my teacher gave me and make sure that all my ideas and quotes blend really well from the start. Even though I had trouble with the quotes, I think that this essay has a really strong thesis statement and hook that tie everything together. I hope that others appreciate how effective my hook is and how well it works with the rest of the essay.