Habit 3

Put First Things First

Teens are busier today and working harder than ever.

Between school, extracurricular activities, teams, clubs,

student government, athletics, part time jobs, helping raise a

younger brother/sister, and on and on there is barely time to

breathe.

Habit 3 is about learning to prioritize and manage your time so

that your first things come first, and not last.

There is more to Habit 3 than just time

management. It is about learning to overcome

your fears and being strong during hard

moments.

Habit 1 says, “You are the driver, not the passenger”

Habit 2 says, “Decide where you want to go. Draw a

map to get you there”

Habit 3 says, “Get there! Don’t let roadblocks knock

you off course.”

Packing More Into Your Life

Have you ever packed a suitcase and noticed how much more

you can fit inside when you neatly fold and organize your

clothes instead of throwing them in? The same goes for your

life.

In General, we spend our time in four quadrants (as

shown below). Each quadrant contains different kinds

of activities and is represented by a type of person.

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If you haven’t already noticed, we live in a society that is

addicted to urgency. It’s the NOW generation. Urgent things

are not bad necessarily. The problem comes when we become

so focused on “urgent” things that we put off important things

are not urgent.

Quadrant 1: The Procrastinator

Things that are both urgent and important

There will always be Q1 things that we can’t control and that must get

done, like helping a sick child or meeting an important deadline, but we

also cause many Q1 headaches because we procrastinate.

Q1 is part of life, but if you are spending too much time in Q1,

believe me, you’ll be a stress case and you’ll seldom be

performing to your potential. Meet the procrastinator who

hangs out in Q1. Perhaps you know her.

Her motto is, “I’m going to stop

procrastinating – sometime soon.”

The procrastinator is addicted to urgency! This person keeps

putting things off until it becomes a crisis, but she likes doing

everything at the last minute because it gives her a rush.

*Planning ahead is simply out of the question.

The results of too much time in Quadrant 1 are:

1. Stress and anxiety 2. Burnout 3. Mediocre

performance

Quadrant 2: The Prioritizer (We’ll save the best for last)

Quadrant 3: The Yes-Man

Represents things that are urgent but not important.

It is characterized by trying to please other people and

responding to their every desire.

This quadrant is deceptive because urgent things have the

appearance of being important. In truth, they are often not.

Q3 is loaded with activities that are important to other people

but not important to you.

Meet the Yes-Man of Quadrant 3

He has a real hard time saying no to anything or

anyone.

He often caves in to peer pressure because he likes

to be popular and he wouldn’t want to stand out.

His motto is, “Tomorrow, I’m going to be

more assertive-if that’s OK with you.”

Results of spending too much time in Quadrant 3:

1. Reputation for being a “pleaser”

2. Lack of discipline

3. Feeling like a doormat for others to wipe their feet on

Quadrant 4: The Slacker

Q4 is the category of waste and excess.

These activities are neither urgent nor important.

This is the category of waste and excess.

Professional Loafer

Results of living in Quadrant 4 are:

1. Lack of responsibility

2. Guilt

3. Flakiness

Quadrant 2: The Prioritizer

Q2 is made of things that are important but not urgent.

It is the quadrant of excellence-the place to be!

Q2 activities are important, but not urgent and

that’s why we have trouble doing them.

Meet the Prioritizer

Although she is by no means perfect, she’s

basically got it together. She takes a look at

everything she has to do and then prioritizes,

making sure her first things get done first and her

last things last. Because she has the simple but

POWERFUL habit of planning ahead, she is on

top of things.

By doing her homework on time and writing her

papers in advance, she does her best work and

avoids stress and burnout that come from

cramming.

She has learned to say NO with a smile.

The results of living in Quadrant 2 (Q2):

1. Control of your life

2. Balance

3. High Performance

SO IN WHICH QUADRANT ARE YOU

SPENDING MOST OF YOUR TIME? 1, 2, 3,

OR 4.

In reality we all spend some time in each quadrant the key is to

shift as much time as possible into Q2 and the only way you’ll

find more time for Q2 is to reduce the amount of time you

spend in the other quadrants. Here is how to do that:

Shrink Q1 by procrastinating less.

Say no to Q3 activities.

Cut down on Q4 slacker activities.

2 suggestions to help you manage your time better.

1. Pick up a planner

2. Plan weekly.

Pick up a planner

I highly recommend using a planner of some sort that has a calendar

and space to write down appointments, assignments, to-do lists, and

goals.

Plan Weekly

Take 15 minutes each week to plan your week and watch what a

difference it can make. Why weekly? Because we think in weeks

and because daily planning is too narrow a focus and monthly is too

broad a focus.

Step 1: Identify Your Big Rocks

At the end or beginning of each week sit down and think about what

you want to accomplish for the upcoming week.

Ask yourself, “What are the most important things I need to do this

week?” I call these your BIG ROCKS.

Not surprisingly, you’ll find that most of them will be Q 2’s.

Another way to identify your BIG ROCKS is to think through the

key roles of your life (student/friend/family

member/worker/individual, and whatever else) and then come up

with the one or two most important things you want to get done in

each role.

Role My Big Rocks for the Week

Student Get started on history report

Friend Mario’s birthday

Be more complimentary

Family Take Colleen to mall

Call Grandma

Job Get to work on time

Me Go to concert

Write in journal every night

Debate Team Finish research

Practice openings

*Don’t get carried away. Be realistic.

Keep your focus narrow to no more than 10 to 15 things.

Step 2: Block Out Time for Your Big Rocks

Have you ever seen the Big Rocks Experiment? You get a bucket

and fill it half full of small pebbles/sand. You then try to put several

big rocks in the bucket on top of the pebbles/sand, but they don’t all

fit.

However, if you empty the bucket and put the big rocks in the bucket

first, followed by the pebbles and sand it all fits.

Click here to see BIG ROCKS Video

BIG ROCKS represents your most important things.

Pebbles/sand represent all the little everyday things that

suck up your time, such as chores, busy work, phone calls,

and interruptions. The moral of the story is, if you don’t

schedule your BIG ROCKS in first, they won’t get done.

Step 3: Schedule Everything Else

Once you have your Big Rocks booked, schedule in all

your other little to-do’s, daily tasks, and appointments.

*Adapt Daily as needed.

The simple act of planning ahead each week will help you focus

on your big rocks and consequently accomplish so much more.

The Other Half

Time management isn’t all there is to Habit 3. It’s only half of

it.

The other half is learning to overcome fear and peer pressure.

It takes courage and guts to stay true to your first

things, like your values and standards, when the

pressure is on.

The Comfort Zone and the Courage Zone

Putting your first things first takes courage and will often

cause you to stretch outside your comfort zone. Take a Peek.

Your comfort zone represents things you are comfortable with, places

you know, friends you are at ease with, activities you enjoy doing. You

comfort zone is Risk Free. It’s easy. It doesn’t require you to stretch at

all.

On the other hand, things like making new friends, speaking before a

large audience, or sticking up for your values makes your hair stand on

end.

Welcome to the courage zone! Adventure, risk, and challenge included!

In the courage zone awaits everything that makes us

uncomfortable. In this territory waits uncertainty, pressure

change, as well as, the possibility of failure. But it is also the

place for opportunity and the only place in which you’ll ever

reach your full potential. You will never reach your full

potential hanging out in the comfort zone. That’s for sure!

What’s that you asked?

What’s so wrong about enjoying your comfort

zone?

Nothing … much of our time should be spent

there. But there is something wrong with NEVER

venturing into unknown waters. You know as

well as I do that people who seldom try new things

or spread their wings live safe but boring lives.

And who wants that?

YOU MISS 100% OF THE

SHOTS YOU NEVER

TAKE!!!

Never let your fears make your decisions.

There are a lot of sick emotions in this world,

but perhaps one of the worst is FEAR.

Never let fear make your decisions. You make them.

Winning means rising each time you fall.

We all feel fear from time to time, and that’s okay.

“Feel the fear and do it anyway”

Babe Ruth Struck out 1,330 Times

Albert Einstein Didn’t speak till he was 4

Beethoven Teacher said he was hopeless as a composer

Louis Pasteur Graded as mediocre in chemistry

Wernher von Braun

(Rocket Scientist)

Failed 9th grade algebra

Madame Marie Curie Experienced near financial ruin before

she created the field of nuclear science.

Michael Jordan Cut from his high school

basketball team as a sophomore

Abraham Lincoln Failed in business at 22

Was defeated for state legislature at 23

Failed in business at 25

Suffered a nervous breakdown at 27

Defeated for speaker at 29

Defeated for congressional nomination at 34

Elected to Congress at 37

Lost nomination at 39

Defeated for Senate at 46

Defeated for Vice President at 47

Defeated for Senate at 49

Elected President of US at 51.

“Our doubts are traitors,

And make us lose the good we oft might win

By fearing to attempt” William Shakespeare

“It’s not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves.”

Edmund Hillary (1st person to climb Mt. Everest)

Winning means rising each time you fall

We all feel fear from time to time, and that’s okay.

“Feel fear and do it anyway”.

Be strong in the Hard Moments

So what exactly are the “Hard Moments”?

Hard moments are conflicts between doing the

right thing and doing the easier thing.

They are the “key tests”, the defining moments of life

and how we handle them can literally shape our

forevers. Be courageous at these key junctures! Don’t

sacrifice your future happiness for one night of

pleasure, a weekend of excitement, or a thrilling

moment of revenge.