au g u st 4 , 2 0 1 4 i s s u e 1 7

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Freshers So Fresh / page 3

Mini O-Week 2014 / page 4

Fresh Fresher Perspective / page 5

A Week Of Why, Uni? Why? / page 6

ICAC Report / page 8

Births, Deaths & Marriages / page 8

CIA Week / page 9

Wanted For Murder / page 9

The Last Fresher / page 10

Game Of The Week: Sudoku / page 11

Table of contents

IH GLOBEglobe is life. globe is love. Globe is back.

Assassins Is Like...Check out whenatih.tumblr.com for more hilarity!

The Globe is published weekly by Rosie Marsland on behalf of the International House Student Club. The material here is edited but uncensored and therefore the views expres-sed here do not reflect those of the editor. Please share

your ideas, opinions, ads and skills with us by emailing us at ihglobe@gmail.com

The Globe acknowledges the Wurrundjeri people as the traditional owers of this land. We pay our respects to their

elders, past and present.

Editor

Zizi Averill

Sub-Editor

Emma Randles

Design

Miguel Lontoc

Photography

Rena Yuet Tuen

Miguel Lontoc

The Internet

Contributions

Adi Agimba

Zizi Averill

Aleqiu Coeur

Evangeline Dowling

Rahul Ingle

Rosie Marsland

Sohum Raut

Inika Reinhardt

Sophie Sievert-Kloster

Thomas Soh

SPECIAL THANKS TO THE GLOBE TEAM

august 4, issue 17 3

freshers so freshWelcome back everyone; we hope you all had a wonderful

holiday filled with large intervals of time lazing about combi-

ned with an equally impressive amount of sleep. It can almost

be difficult to leave that paradise and come back into the

tumult of university life, but oh well, stuff happens. It is now

time for us to give a warm welcome to the twenty five new

freshers that have arrived at IH. I’m sure that everyone has

gotten a chance to meet them over the past couple of weeks.

A hearty congratulations to the mini-oweekers who success-

fully showed the new freshers around. A special thanks also

to Maggie and her team of CIA weekers for holding an ama-

FROM THE EDITOR XVIIHoly mother of editions everyone... GLOBE IS BACK!

To those of you fresh-freshers who are new to Globe: Welcome! Sit back, relax and pre-

pare for a literary treat! To those of you returning from last semester: Globe welcomes

you in its arms (or pages) like a long lost lover. Prepare as your re-igniting passions for

student-run papers overwhelms you. Feel its freshly printed pages. Skim through its

insightful-yet-enjoyable content.

Here at Globe HQ we are ready to take on the new semester and all its fresh challenges.

In this beautiful edition we bring you the highlights of the beginning of the semester.

We expose the traumas of the Fresh-Freshers and the delights of their sadistic O-wee-

kers. We bring you the best tales of CIA week: from the drunken adventures of ‘The job

you’ll never have’ party to the enthusiastic renditions of Bohemian Rhapsody in Karaoke

night. From the pitifully empty bowls of rice in global dinner to the euphemistic ‘Stroll

around local establishments. We tell the tales of the oh-so-fancy Winter Dinner and the

not-so-fancy combination of free-flow alcohol and sea-sickness of the River Cruise.

And finally we morn the deaths of those who were killed in Assassins. They are with us

in spirit (and also in physical presence) but their spoons have gone to a better place.

Open these pages up, find an article and ENJOY!

Lots of Love,

Zizi

zing week filled with fun activities. We also hope that ever-

yone enjoyed themselves at winter dinner, congratulations to

everyone that got all H1s! (took Rahul long enough)

Now that the integration period is over, it is time to get into

the usual routine of supporting sports and participating in

activities around IH. The girls won their first netball match

against JCH last week, and the boys played footy, although

results are unavailable at the time I write this. It is impor-

tant to note. Lets start the semester with a renewed spirit.

We look forward to seeing everyone around college, getting

involved in various ways. Stay tuned for events to come in

the following weeks. Until then, cya!

international house globe4

Mini O-week 2014IH is hot to go!

H-O-T-T-O-G-O.

Aaaaooooh. Hot to go.

Aaaaooooh. Hot to go!

Mini O Week. A period in time where some of the best events from

February’s nine day O week are combined into a three day, extre-

mely intensive Mini O week experience. And what an experience

it was. Organised by the villainous President Soh and his team

of BellEvietrix Lestrange, Migneto, JuggerNatcha, SHaines Yu and

MalInicent; Mini O week was certainly a time that would not be

forgotten. The first night started off with the new Freshers going

through the rigorous exercise of learning to dance to Everybody

which their leaders would say they picked up pretty quickly. For

a while at least. The night culminated with the traditional Table

Climb challenge in which most freshers took up the challenge but

only a few prevailed, including Zhi Xin Wang, Kenneth Ang and

Mini O’Week’s Fresher King, Marvin Tan. The Freshers even took

up the challenge to race their Mini O week leaders but unfortuna-

tely were unable to best any of the experienced table climbers of

Miguel, Gabriel and Tom.

Day 2 saw a quick succession of events with Cultural Fest, Orien-

teering and Bowling all happening within a very short time frame.

The personal favourites of hockey twirl and sweedish moose fe-

eding continued to please both freshers and onlooking seniors.

That night saw the group go out to see a bit of Melbourne’s ni-

ght life before heading back to IH to prepare for their Citizenship

exam. Whilst many were told to get a good night’s sleep and just

study in the morning, many chose to stay up into the early hours of

Sunday morning which is unfortunate as they were all woken up quite

early for a short bout of morning exercise.

Sunday’s citizenship exam came and went with many seniors and

freshers giving some handy tips and experiences to the new IH resi-

dents who eagerly absorbed any last minute information they could

grab. The afternoon’s final event was the Magical Mystery Tour which

saw a large group of IHer’s running, dancing and chanting their way

through the uni and the city. This year’s tour is one of the longest

ever done, covering an incredible distance of around 6km (including

the time on the trams) so congratulations to everyone who went on

the tour.

And with that Mini O week came to an end with awards being gi-

ven at dinner and everyone getting to mingle and dance at the CIA

Week’s Job You’ll Never Have Party which I’m sure everyone had a

great time at.

To all of this semester’s new Freshers, we hope that you had an ama-

zing weekend, because us Mini O weekers certainly had a blast orga-

nising everything and getting to know each and every one of you!!!

To my team, thank you for making the whole Mini N and Mini O week

such an amazing and fun experience! I had such a great time working

with you all and wish we could go back and relive some of the fun

we had.

- President Soh (I’m going to hold onto

the president title a little longer Rahul)

Writter: Thomas Soh Photos: Rena Yuet Tuen

august 4, issue 17 5

Fresh fresher perspective

The O-Weekend That Was So.....

What adjective can I conjure up to describe the O-weekend

that was? Mmmmh…AH-MAZING.

And I’m not just saying it to stroke the egos of the oh-so-fa-

bulous mini O-weekrs. My expectations were not just met

they were surpassed, and I’m fairly sure that I speak for all

the fresh-freshers too! It was a jam-packed Friday to Sunday

filled with goings-on that were as innovative as they come.

And I shall tell you the best of the hurly-burly. The weekend

kicked off with the O-weekers doing a delightful rendition of

the freshers dance – totally vivacious with sharp and succinct

moves. It was lovely. And then it was our turn. My inability to

dance is an actual joke. Nonetheless I gave it a go despite my

goldfish-like memory and my two left feet. Everyone did too

which made it great fun – the jabbawokeez quite seriously

have nothing on us fresh-freshers (lawl).

At the strike of midnight we found ourselves in the shark tank

and thus the hazing began. I must say we had it easy. The

practicing of authentic IH rituals was amusing to say the least

and I can live to tell the tale thank goodness. When a person

claims that they aren’t competitive, they lie.

True colors were revealed on Saturday all thanks to the day’s

line-up of events: the Hunger Games, Prizon of Azkaban,

Cultural Fest, Orienteering and bowling. I quite enjoyed the

Hunger Games but I would have to say bowling = best only be-

cause I don’t suck apparently - yaaas.

The evening’s shenanigans involved the walking dead aka pub-

crawl. Because I am secretly a 19 year old in a 90 year olds body

I tactically opted out on the cheap booze and rocking time. Ins-

tead I chilled with the oh-so-studious fresh-freshers who were

studying terribly hard for our citizenship exam – mmmh so we

thought. I must say the O-weekers got us good.

The O-weekers were also overly generous over the O-weekend;

really, they were. They went as far as giving our alarm clocks a

rest and with the harmonious sound of bashing pots and pans

they woke us from our deep slumber at 6AM – how thoughtful!

Unfortunately I am not equipped to relay the exact events of

the vigorous morning exercise as I may have left ten minutes

into the workout – what can I say I’m not a morning person.. But

kudos to my fellow fresh-freshers their enthusiasm was laudable.

The IH O-weekend would not have been complete without the

Magical Mystery Tour – a glorious 6km run around the CBD that

involved singing, taunting, yelling and chanting as well as per-

forming the fabulous freshers dance to the fellow shoppers at

Bourke Street Mall. The vibe was fiery and the energy palpable.

And lastly the Job You’ll Never Have party concluded the hectic

weekend. Drinks were flowing, fists were pumping and the good

times were rolling – the cherry on top to a gratifying weekend.

On a final note I would like to thank our lovely O-weekers: Evie,

Gab, Inika, Miguel, Natcha and Tom for an epic weekend. I must

say I will miss having my name scribbled on my forehead. We

fresh-freshers salute thee!

Writter: Adi Agimba

international house globe6

UNIMELBSCHOLARSHIPThe Faculty of Business and Economics is offe-ring a fully funded scho-larships to students for Semester 2. Applications close today, so visit www.globalvoices.org.au/how-to-apply-for-a-delega-tion-2 for more details!

UNIVERSITY COLLE-GE: THE ADDAMS FAMILY MUSICALCome along to watch UC’s musical for this year! Shows at 7:30pm from Wednesday to Friday, $16 for concession! Definitely give it a shot, or tag along with Miguel and Alex!

HIGH TABLE STARTS AGAIN!For all you fresh freshers (and everyone else too), this is just a reminder that high table starts again this week. Plea-se remember to wear your academic gowns to dinner tonight and be in the dining hall BEFORE 6:45pm.

UMSU BOOKFESTBring old books and your student card to the Mary Cooke Room at Union House, 2nd Floor be-tween 11am and 3pm to get rid of them and make a little cash on the side!

HIGH TABLEYou know the drill. 6:45pm in the dining hall in your academic gowns!

MONDAY TUESDAY

5WEDNESDAY

6THURSDAY

7

A WEEK OFNETBALLCome and support the netball girls this morning at 8am at the Melbourne University courts!

4

august 4, issue 17 7

ICSC FOOTYSupport the boys in their footy match against Ken-dall Hall today at 8:30am. IH is the defending champion this year, so come show your IH pride and watch us destroy Kendall! Venue TBC.

MELBOURNE’S MYSTERY MARKET11am to 4pm at the Jam Factory in South Yarra - enjoy live music, art ex-hibitions, and interactive workshops showcasing Melbourne’s indepen-dent fashion and design labels.

UNIVERSITY COLLE-GE: THE ADDAMS FAMILY MUSICALLast chance for shows! 2pm matinee and 7:30pm closing night - don’t miss out and spread some of dat intercollegiate love!

ASSASSINSFor those of you still alive, keep your spoons handy at all times. As-sassins is not over yet, and it’s a free for all this round.

EXPERIENCE MAT-TERSAn exciting week at UniMelb where you can explore career opportu-nities and engage with employers. Look at the UniMelb careers and employment website for more info.

MELBOURNE IN-TERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVALRunning until the 17th of August, check it out!

FRIDAY

8SATURDAY

9 10ALL WEEK

:DSUNDAY

WHY, Uni? Why?

international house globe8

Births:

The mini O-week committee would like to announce the

birth of

The Fresh-freshers.

25/07/14

Despite a traumatising delivery involving a shark tank and

cavalry charge, the fresh freshers have turned out healthy

and sound.

Deaths:

Sophie Trescowthick and the IH girls Netball Team would

like to announce the death of the JCH Netball Team

30/07/14

The team had a resounding success, killing JCH 20-6. It is

hoped the team will become serial killers.

Marriages:

Spo-On, The Godfather and Mike-l Angelo would like to an-

nounce the marriage of IH students and their spoons

30/07/14

Sadly, this has been a short relationship for some, whilst

Claudia Martin is having a highly successful marriage.

Births, Deaths & MarriagesBy Evie Dowling

SNAPCHAT

SNAPCHAT OF THE WEEKTom Soh sexy as Enviroman this Mini O-Week. Sorry Tom for recording a video :P

Send your funny snapchats to ihglobeyo!

This semester there are lots of events to look forward to that

are being organised by The Intercollegiate Activities Council

(ICAC). All of the ICAC events are super entertaining and

give you the opportunity to meet people from different co-

lleges. Also keep in mind that if you participate in or attend

enough ICAC events you can gain room points for next year.

The first event DEBATING is happening on the Saturday of

week 3 and 4. Everyone should come and support our re-

presentatives at St Hilda’s College.

ARTS AND WRITING AND MUSIC SOIREE celebrates the

creativity of residents of Melbourne University. There are

lots of different categories including 2D, 3D art and photo-

graphy. In writing, the categories include poetry, short story,

fiction and non-fiction and for the musical soiree there is

classical and contemporary. Everyone is encouraged to sub-

mit a piece of work and represent IH! This is going to be a

huge night and everyone should come and support it.

The FILM FESTIVAL in week 7 has two sections. It allows stu-

dents to present short films and for each college to submit

their own lip dub. Everyone should get involved in the lip

dub in some way; it’s going to be lots of fun to film. Talk to

Deni Stewart or Bridget Loughhead if you’re interested and

come and see me if you have any films you would like to

submit.

BATTLE OF THE BANDS is in week 8 and is one of the big-

gest nights of the year. Think back to the fresher dance off

and times it by 10. That’s how big it is! If you’re a musician,

start thinking about forming a band and auditioning for it.

QUIDDITCH is the final ICAC event of the year and involves

an intercollegiate game of the wizarding world’s favourite

sport. Think capes, wands, quaffles and bludgers and a man

dressed in yellow running around Ormond College.

ICAC ReportBy Inika Reinhardt

august 4, issue 17 9

Wasn’t “The Job that You’ll Never Have” simply mind blowing?

This BTS Party which you will never forget officially marks the

beginning of IH CIA Week (which stands for Cultural Interaction

Week). Scientists, spies, firefighters, dancers, police, astronaut,

cowboys, cowgirls...you name it!! The aim for CIA Week is to stren-

gthen the bond between the freshers and the seniors by bringing

intercultural exchange to a more integrated level.

Monday night was Karaoke Night. The seniors put up crazy per-

formances which encouraged the freshers to also go up to the

stage to have fun. Global Dinner was held on Tuesday evening.

The whole dining hall was divided into 3 sections- 1st, 2nd and

3rd world countries. From the high table onwards, IH-ers mana-

ged to experience the difference in inequality between countries

and within the countries through the food being served and also

the interactive activities throughout the whole dinner. Many IH-

ers were keen for Wednesday night’s Scenic Tour of Fitzroy’s Local

Establishment. Alexandre led us all on a fantastic tour of some

Fitzroy establishments! IH Winter Dinner 2014 was held on Thur-

sday during the CIA Week. This formal dinner was the first high

table dinner for Semester 2 2014. The freshers seem excited about

the settings of the dining hall, academic gowns, and the way the

whole IH rejoice this celebration with food, speeches and the fres-

hers’ dance. “Row row row your boat, gently down the stream...”

Of course, the river cruise was a very luxurious one. Themed “The

Seven Deadly Sins”, everyone who attended were very well dres-

sed up. Some even had amazing props with them. The free flow

of beverages had just made the night splendid!

One very cool reason to be part of IH, is being able to participate

in such grand event.

CIA WEEKby Aleqiu Coeur

WANTED FOR MURDER:“The White Spoon”

Police have issued a warning to the residents of International

House following a string of murders. Following the deaths of nu-

merous citizens police have announced that the deaths are the

work of a renowned cereal killer known by the alias ‘The White

Spoon’. Police remind everyone not to approach the killer as they

are armed and ready to dish out violence to anyone.

In a media report the police commissioner was quoted in saying

that the murderer “isn’t very knife”.

In response to questions the Commissioner stated that the police

would “Spork to the media, when they know any more informa-

tion”

A witness to one of the murders has stated that they were threa-

tened by the killer, who is quoted in saying “I’ll get you all, spoon

enough”

The killer is also wanted for asSALT and abusing a police officer

after yelling “Fork you” before leaving the crime scene.

In aDISHional comments Police have released statements conso-

ling the victims friends and families and have announced that all

the victims deaths “came too spoon”

international house globe10

The last fresher a short story by sohum raut

One of the senior couples had gotten each other as targets. It

was a real life Mr and Mrs Smith. They’d battled all week until

she ruthlessly murdered him in an elevator. Stashed the weapon

in a nearby dumpster. The case remains unsolved. 12 people

overheard his cries for help. No one responded. She claimed the

insurance money later that week.

Another Fresher, a cute French girl called Anaise, who didn’t

speak much English was hiding behind the hot chocolate ma-

chines. Waiting to strike. Akash would be her victim. He was her

prey. She’d been searching for him all week. Even went to the

trouble to look him up on Nexus. She knew everything about

him, his name, his room number, his degree. The kind of infor-

mation only the most elite of governments compile. People like

the Mossad.

She was an Arts student and was reading Infinite Jest for an

assignment, wondering what the hell was going on. She won-

dered if it was her English or if the book was just confusing. She

figured it was her English. The moment would come anytime

now. She was good at math and had stacked the deck of cards.

When he drew the King, he’d have to Go Fish and for the briefest

of moments put the spoon down...Any second now.

Akash drew a King and wondered what to do with it. “Do any

of you have any Kings?” Go fish they said in unison, and smiled.

Out of the corner of his eyes he saw Anaise approach him. She

was carrying a hot chocolate and waived. He smiled back. He

really liked her, they’d bonded in Oweek over their mutual disli-

ke for fluoride toothpaste. He was playing it cool, but in a couple

weeks would ask her out. To him, she was perfect.

She said hi. He said hi. “Winning?” She asked, grinning. “Nope,”

he said laying his cards down to draw, a look of defeat in his

eyes. She lunged. He looked down and a spoon was protruding

from his abdomen, eyes wide.

They never spoke after that. The pain was just too much.

Akash was playing Go Fish in the dining hall with two Asian girls,

Xi Kwan Hia and Maria. They’d switch languages on him every so

often and he suspected them of cheating but couldn’t prove it.

They were all part of the new Fresher batch and were struggling

to get the moves of the Fresher dance right.

Where she was from, dancing was a crime, punishable by death

and higher taxes from the government. You were only allowed

to dance to 3 songs, one was just the name of the Prime Minis-

ter on repeat. The other was Gangnam Style. It was a genera-

tional thing. If someone caught you dancing, they’d report you

to the local Post Office and the next thing you’d be serving out

a sentence scrubbing floors with a toothbrush. Your kids would

have to as well. And their kids too.

A special shoe was made to help with the dance problem by an

aspiring entrepreneur. Whenever you’d feel the beat, the shoe

would send 1,000 volts through your leg and you wouldn’t feel

like dancing anymore. They were a thriving business until their

patent was infringed by Nike and they went out of business.

They were waiting for the CIA week announcement that meant

the end of Assassins. The game had been going for the whole

week and Akash had barely slept. He was so scared. Thinking

that someone would be hiding in his room, he slept in a nearby

tree and caught a taxi to uni each day. He gripped his spoon so

hard, an indent was visible in his hand. He could just feel he was

being watched.

Assassins was a cruel game. A real life Hunger Games where

you either kill or be killed, all for the glory of being crowned the

victor. The prize wasn’t even that good. A voucher at the local

bookstore.

august 4, issue 17 11

GAME OF thE WEEK: SUDOKUnot too difficult so you can save those extra brain cells for your lectures

international house globe12