issue 1, volume 87GLOBE

clayton high school, clayton, mo. april 2016

issue 7, volume 87GLOBE

april 2016G LOBE

13Bursting the BubbleGlobe reporters leave Clayton to check out St. Louis’s many other iconic neighborhoods.

Opinion

Review

SportsFootball Fears34A decline in football team enrollment is a result of new concussion research.

Staff Ed: Witnessing37The Globe staff comments on the importance of stay-ing attentive and observant beyond the limits of our experience.

Dodging Potholes10CHS math teacher Kyle McCord leads a double life as a bassist for a cover band.

Pro/Con: Satire38

Clayton/Ladue Community Garden41

Bobo Noodle HouseWhite Privledge II

36

Feature

GLOOBMathlete Profile: Tong Zhao43

Political Candidate Quiz47

Things Sophie Loves: The Wage Gap46

DISCLAIMER:The Gloob, a satirical creation of the Globe news-maagzine, is entirely fictional. The Gloob was creat-ed with the intent to provide a satirical commentary

on issues in the Clayton community.

editor - in - chief alex bernard

senior managing editors grace harrison

kevin rosenthal

ellie tomasson

section editors sophie allen

noah brown

brian gatter

nicholas lee

camille respess

max steinbaum

elise yang

phoebe yao

copy editors charlie brennan harry rubin

webmaster lemuel lan

business manager lucy cohen

photo editors bebe engel

katherine sleckman

distribution editor robert hollocher

editors dimitri baldauf

daniel cho

nisha klein

olivia reuter

mitali sharma

zachary sorenson

Professional Affiliations: Journalism STL . Missouri Interscholastic Press Association . Missouri Journalism Education Association . National Scholastic Press Association . Columbia Scholastic Press Association

albert wang

ashleigh williams

tara williamsreporters madeleine ackerburg

madeline bale

sophia barnes

barrett bentzinger

michael bernard

sophie bernstein

jacob blair

gabrielle boeger

eunice chung

william clay

nicholas d’agrosa

alexandria darmody

lise derksen

emma ebeling

theodore fehr

sarah franzel

devin froehlich

mariclare gatter

anne goode

hugo hoffman

lucas hoffman

robert hogan

peter indivino

olivia joseph

sehoon kim

cody krutzsch

san kwon

sol kwon

jacob lagesse

elise levy

benjamin litteken

madison lockett

bea mcguire

grace morris

lauren praiss

andreas petermann

mia redington

nikki seraji

marty sharpe

eunice shin

petra sikic

katie spear

amy tishler

karena tse

neel vallurupalli

angelo vidal

catherine walsh

samuel youkilis

samantha zeid

photographers sophie argyres

emma barnes

jennifer braverman

ella engel

felix evans

alexandra gerchen

akansha goel

ava hoffman

ricky kuehn

carolyn niswonger

claire schwarz

graphics editor victoria yi

graphic artist cherry tomatsu

design editor lawrence hu

adviser erin castellano

GLOBE staff

will be able to connect to others’ problems. My journey from a clueless child to a mostly clueless teenager has

been nothing short of amazing. At the end of the day, I believe that it’s the amazing people in it that have made it one so worth experiencing.

Being one of five family members in a country of almost 320 million people can often make the world around me seem isolating and alienat-ing. As I line up to be the third person in my family to attend college, the fears and anxieties of stepping into a relatively unknown world be-gin to grow. Unfortunately, the closest relatives that I have are halfway across the globe and the experience of secondary education is hardly shared. Oftentimes, that means that my options are highly limited in terms of schools I can attend and what occupations I can pursue.

Rather than confining myself to one path, however, my experience at Clayton High School has taught me to try to open as many doors as I possibly can. For me, there are no familial legacies to follow, no stan-dards to meet -- only the ones that I choose to make and set for myself and subsequent generations.

In my nine years attending Clayton’s schools, the idea of grit has presented itself constantly. The idea to “just keep swimming” and con-tinue pushing even in the face of adversity has resonated with me for nearly a decade.

Time and time again throughout my adolescence, I’ve looked toward the typical American family and asked why I couldn’t have been raised the same way. The conformity that appears so comforting is tempting.At the same time, the culture I’m immersed in every time I step through my front doors is a driving force in how I conduct myself daily.

There’s also a temptation for me to think very narrow-mindedly as I spend the majority of my time within the boundaries of Clayton. In our tightly knit community of around 16,000 people, we start to get comfortable inside of our bubble. Our academic prowess throughout the country along with the wealth the city boasts sometimes makes me feel better than everyone else, when in reality it’s only a matter of a mile or two to transition into a completely different environment.

Keeping this kind of superior mindset at bay is essential as every student advances towards graduation. Entering any kind of university will expose one to a plethora of people from every kind of background imaginable -- and even in a small school with a couple thousand stu-dents, the backgrounds we come from will make less and less of a dif-ference.

Oddly enough, the walls Clayton has built up are not always a nega-tive aspect of our community. Sometimes, it’s that feeling of safety that lets us get through our demanding and rigorous lifestyles. However, most of the time it can lead to detachment from the outside world, causing us to analyze everything with a lens that may not always be realistic.

Perhaps, as we look to explore the immediate areas around Clayton, we can finally see how different it can be to step even a couple miles outside of the boundaries we are so familiar with. Similar to the senti-ment expressed in the homelessness issue, the faster we register that we need take action in order to make a change in the society we’re all apart of, the better.

Realizing that the statistics of any given city are just a minimal as-pect of it and that the real facets to any municipality are the unique people that reside in them is essential; only then can we even begin to relate to the struggles others are experiencing.

Occasionally viewing others from afar as numbers is completely de-humanizing; there is no life to them. In other words, the faster we real-ize that each individual is more than just mere statistics, the more we

The Globe Newsmagazine exists to inform, entertain, persuade and represent the student voice at CHS. All content decisions are made by the student editorial staff and the Globe is an entirely self-funded publication. Not every story that our reporters write is published in the print newsmagazine. Visit www.chsglobe.com for additional stories and photos and for more information about the Globe itself. We reserve

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F R O MT H E

E D I T O R

EDITOR’S NOTE 5

20 review

Senior Sarah Widder helps her mentee with his science fair project.

PANORAMA 6

PHOTO BY AKANSHA GOEL

21commentary

NEWS 8

by JACOB LaGESSE reporter

RACE FOR THE BOARD

The three candidates talk about the upcoming election for two available seats on the Clayton School District Board of Education.

Voters in Clayton will decide which two candidates will represent the District on the Board of Education on April 5, 2016.

Joe Miller

Brad Bernstein

Miller serves as a senior vice president of WYMAN, an organization dedicated

to helping teens. He has coached over 50 recreational sports teams in Clayton. He has been involved with many city organizations,

such as the city’s Partnership Committee, and currently has two children enrolled in

the District, one at the high school and one at Wydown Middle School.

Bernstein has served two previous terms on the Board and is up for reelection again

this spring. He acquired his doctorate degree from SLU Medical school and has worked with city organizations such as the Parks

and Recreational commission. He currently has one child enrolled at the high school and two children that have graduated from the

District.

Q: Why do you want to be on the Board of Education?

Q: What strengths do you bring to the Board?

I work with about 20 different local school districts and about 50 different national school districts. My degree is in public administration. I really understand how a board works because I work with a board. I also have experience with working with kids of all ages. My organization [focuses] on teenagers.

I care about the District. I have some expe-rience because I am on the Board now and I have knowledge of how the District works.

I’ve worked with a lot of other boards and organizations, so I have a lot of good expe-riences with how boards work. I have a lot of experience with negotiating and finding solutions to projects. I’m not a teacher or educator, so I don’t have that kind of sub-ject matter, but I have a lot of experience with dealing with people to help them work out different situations.

Joe MillerWhat I tell people is that truly my passion meets my experience meets the issue. I’ve been follow-ing the Board very closely for the last 12 years. I’ve been very involved in the community. This community is important to me. I want to mix that passion for this community with my expe-rience. I also work with school districts all over the country to improve their performance.

My motivation comes from the great experienc-es my family has had in the District. I want to support the people that have made the District so great. I just want to do what I can to make [the District] better and stronger.

I went to Clayton Schools growing up and I’ve always cared a lot about the District. I want to continue to make Clayton a premier district. I think that I can make a difference by being on the Board.

Brad Bernstein

Gary Pierson

Joe Miller

Brad Bernstein

Gary Pierson

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Gary PiersonPierson serves as an attorney for a law

firm he created and has represented many non-profit organizations. He currently has

three children in the District: one at Captain, one at Wydown and one at CHS. His wife

works at the Family Center as a Parent Edu-cator. He also works as an adjunct professor

at SLU’s Law School.

Q: If elected, what district policies do you want to see changed?

There are three major issue areas. One is aca-demic excellence for all the students. It’s awe-some that we have academic excellence at the highest level. What often happens is we miss the middle tier and the lower tier [of students]. The second issue is financial stability. The final thing is an improved board process. A board [has to] be strategic. I want to make sure we honor the great administrators, teachers, staff that we have.

I don’t think that there are any specific policies that I want to see changed; however, I think that there is always room for growth in the District. We should pay attention to some specific areas, including fiscal management, rewarding out-standing teachers and improved communica-tion throughout the District.

The three priorities I have are to work towards success for all students, to support teacher ex-cellence and to work towards financial stability. I want the Board to create a supportive environ-ment for all of our students, teachers, families and administrators.

Joe Miller

Gary Pierson

Brad Bernstein

FEATURE 10

by MICHAEL BERNARD

DODGINGPOTHOLESWITH KYLE MCCORD

ince mastering the debut album by Rage Against the Machine from start to finish in high school, CHS math teacher Kyle McCord has not put down his bass guitar. That is all it took for an aspiring teenager without any experience with music to em-bark on an extended journey to become

the lead bassist for many bands in his 12 year bass career.“I picked up the bass guitar at 15,” McCord said. “I’ve

never taken any lessons. I’m entirely self-taught.”When McCord first started playing this foreign in-

strument, he held no previous music theory experience. McCord attributes this passion to one of his high school buddies who took him to the local guitar shop to get him a bass, securing McCord into his first band, Sexy Parties. The name refers to Stewie Griffin’s prominent “Sexy Parties” on the television show Family Guy, where Stewie, dressed as Bennie Hill, chases provocatively dressed women in circles at high speed.

When McCord was 18, he joined another band called Sa-maru, named after McCord’s family cabin which was owned by McCord’s father at the time.

“The band at that point had spent a lot of time down at the cabin having fun,” McCord said.

Then, McCord formed a band called The Dundees when he was 21. The group was named after the annual award ceremony on the television show, “The Office,” a show that McCord and his bandmates all loved watching together.

“We got together every single Monday and watched ‘The Office,’” McCord said.

Finally, McCord joined the band Dodging Potholes, the band he currently performs with. Although McCord is not too fond of the name, he recognizes that the group holds too much notoriety for them to change it now. The group debated about many different names, until eventually they got the idea of Dodging Potholes and it stuck.

“We were at a restaurant and our waitress [said], ‘What do you guys think about Dodging Potholes?’” McCord said.

Dodging Potholes is predominantly a cover band.“We mainly cover 90’s and classic rock,” McCord said.

“But we also do some country songs as well.”The group typically plays at bars and other venues.

When the band was first up and coming, the group would play every other Thursday at Helen Fitzgerald’s. Now they usually play at The Clubhouse, the local restaurant the group frequently hangs out at. The group plays here about every six weeks.

The current goal of Dodging Potholes is solely to have a good time. However, before this, they possessed different aspirations.

“When we were playing [before], it was a little more about money and getting as much exposure as possible,” McCord said. “Now it’s for fun.”

Every Sunday, McCord and the group meets up to play foosball and practice.

“It’s our excuse to have our guys night,” McCord said.Dodging Potholes consists of a lead guitarist/vocalist,

another lead guitarist, a drummer and McCord as the bass-ist.

Dodging Potholes has been together for almost four years. However, the band has had connections long before

S

this. “I’ve known two of the members since second grade,” McCord

said. McCord also became friends with the lead guitarist and the

drummer in college. Prior to Dodging Potholes, McCord played in a group called

Mordern Vintage, which included future members of Dodging Potholes. McCord subbed in this band as the bassist until the group fell apart.

Once the band broke up, the group took a year off from music. “After about a year of them not playing, they got the itch

again. They [said], ‘We gotta get a band going,’” McCord said. “They called me up. They knew how I played.”

The group then got together and formed Dodging Potholes, McCord’s current band.

Although McCord has had quite a run with his bands, he has not always had perfect performances. When playing for the band Samaru, the group was invited to play at a birthday party for one of their gigs.

“A friend of ours knew the girl whose birthday it was,” Mc-Cord said. “The bands that were there were all heavy metal. We are not a heavy metal band.”

The audience packed the hall where Samaru was playing. “[Another] band [got] off and as soon as we get on, everybody

leaves and goes outside,” McCord said. “As soon as [we finished playing], everybody came back in.”

According to McCord, a whole three people enjoyed Samaru’s concert.

However, many of McCord’s concerts have been very success-ful. A close friend of one of McCord’s bandmates had a friend who lost a child very early on due to a disease.

“We wanted to do something for them,” McCord said. “So we set aside and organized a charity event for them.”

The event was essentially a large lawn games competition, and they had an entire soccer park to hold the tournament. Mc-Cord’s band played a show for the entire audience.

“We raised a couple thousand dollars for this child,” McCord said.

The band played this concert without any pay. According to McCord, it was the least stressful concert he has ever partici-pated in.

In college, McCord decided to pursue a degree in music.“I’ve taken theory one through theory four,” McCord said.

“I’ve had some ear training [and] I’ve had some practice on pi-ano.”

McCord now understands the general concepts of music the-ory, but he does not understand it as well for his instrument.

“I can look at a sheet of music and better than most people in my band, I can say these are the chords that are being played, this is the key we’re in, these are the modulations going on,” McCord said. “I know all that stuff, but when I look at my bass guitar, it’s like, ‘OK, what note am I on?’”

McCord is not only a math teacher at CHS, but he is also the coach of the girls Junior Varsity Volleyball team. To McCord, juggling a band on top of these tasks is hard work. However, he knows that having a band comes with practice and dedication, otherwise he would not be able to keep up.

McCord additionally believes that Dodging Potholes has helped out with his social skills.

“I tend to have a little bit of social anxiety,” McCord said. “[The band] has really helped out with that.”

McCord now has more confidence in himself and he accredits this to being on stage for multiple hours at a time.

“It made me more comfortable being in front of large groups of people,” McCord said. “And not everything’s [going to] be per-fect, but we can make it work.”

FEATURE 11

CHS math teacher Kyle McCord peforming with his band, Dodging Potholes. (photos from McCord)

The Globe staff takes a look at 12 neighborhoods around

the St. Louis area.

B U R S T I N GT H E B U B B L E

CLAYTONIt may be easy to blame Clayton students for their stay-at-home ten-

dencies, as many act as though no world exists outside of Clayton: noth-ing but mere crumbs of desolation west of I-170, south of Clayton Road, east of Skinker or north of Delmar. Despite the common outsider ap-proach of jabbing Clayton students for locking themselves solely within 6.42 square kilometres of steel beams and new-money homogeneity, it turns out Clayton holds far more than first-world edifices of corporate modernity. Situated between the meager Richmond Heights and Brent-wood, “City of Warmth,” Clayton has far more to offer than “multiple skyscrapers and a business district,” the two features Wikipedia claims Clayton is known for.

Much like a liquid bubble is enclosed but still maintains its frothing disposition, within the sealed Clayton sphere is a vibrant culture, rather corrupted by contemporary dealings, yet also effervescing with indepen-dent businesses and an amiable, near crimeless population. It becomes difficult, then, to blame a child raised in a place containing seemingly ev-erything for not trying to seek out much else of anything. Why fix some-thing which isn’t broken?

Clayton is not normally described as a suburb. It is not a city, a mu-nicipality or a township. It asserts no claim of being a village or even a hamlet. Clayton is a self-pronounced community.

Clayton is a quintessential model of America at its finest, a microcosm for capitalism in action, where in each successive generation since its in-corporation, businesses have blossomed, creating an increasingly more sound climate for future familial success.

Established in 1877 when Ralph Clayton donated land to build a new county courthouse, Clayton has grown over the past 139 years into a modest yet bustling community of 15,884. Clayton is home to one of the finest public school districts in the region. According to Niche.com, Clay-ton High School was recently ranked the number one public high school in the state of Missouri for 2016. The high school has a 99 percent gradua-tion rate, priding itself on its small student body, its famed open-campus and its no-cut policy.

More than just a scholastic cove however, Clayton also harbors a wide array of landmarks. Spanning from the historic 1855 Hanley House to Gyo Obata’s 2011 gleaming Centene plaza, Clayton offers a rich survey of American architectural history, complete with such mid-20th century

blunders as the modernist open-classroom disaster known as Ralph M. Captain Elementary.

On the gastronomy front, since the closing of the North Central Mc-Donalds, many edible aficionados have flocked to Clayton, as it has grown to become one of the culinary meccas of St. Louis. Clayton boasts a wide array of various cuisines, including James Beard Winner Gerard Craft’s lauded Pastaria, which offers a taste of Italy amidst the buzz of downtown Clayton. Along the same strip of Forsyth sits Tani, one of Clayton’s three sushi establishments, offering the literally infernal Oh My God roll and frequented by a hodgepodge of professional St. Louis athletes. For those young people who only eat at cookie-cutter chains, Clayton is home to an e coli-free outlet of Chipotle as well as sandwich competitors Potbelly’s, Subway and the regional chain, Pickleman’s.

As Clayton sits brimming with amenities, asking a student to leave Clayton is like asking a starving man to step out of the buffet line on steak and shrimp night at Golden Corral: why leave a place that has everything desirable to mankind?

Living within the confines of the Clayton bubble is clearly justifiable to a point. Though it may be arguable to live a life inside the bubble, locked within the eminence of Clayton, a wide world surrounds Clayton when one crosses the rubicon.

Photo by Abraham Park

by KEVIN ROSENTHAL and HARRY RUBIN

LADUELess than a mile away from CHS lies Ladue, a popular city often vis-

ited by CHS students. Largely residential, Ladue has houses ranging from one-story, ranch style homes to exclusive neighborhoods with mansions and sprawling backyards.

Unlike Clayton, Ladue is much less walkable as the houses are further apart and separated by numerous country clubs. These country clubs rep-resent the more privatized atmosphere of Ladue which lacks public facili-ties found in a number of other St. Louis neighborhoods.

The number of private schools like MICDS and John Burroughs add to the sophisticated ambiance in Ladue. The boutiques and restaurants off Clayton Road provide a place for CHS students to spend time afterschool and on the weekends. With only a few exceptions, Ladue’s characteristics are mostly similar to those of Clayton.

Located on Warson Road, Ladue High School is the only public high school in Ladue. Walking through the school building, the differences be-tween Ladue High School and CHS become evident.

The interior of the building is much older than CHS, starting with the wooden entryway at the front of the school. The building was also un-locked, possibly demonstrating the openness and trust of the community.

Unlike CHS where Gay Field is located off the main campus, the stu-dents at Ladue have the luxury of having their field next to their high school. However, the parking spaces are assigned and extremely limited compared to CHS.

Also in Ladue, MICDS and John Burroughs are two of the best known private schools in St. Louis and are close in proximity. MICDS has a mas-sive main campus that holds around 1200 students from elementary to high school and is doing reconstruction to most of their fields.

Walking through the campus of John Burroughs, the definite influ-ence of wealth can be felt. The building resembles a mansion-like Cali-fornian villa because of its red and beige coloring. Only containing 600 students, Burroughs has a smaller student to faculty ratio compared to CHS. However, entrance to this reputable school involves a selective ad-missions process.

The community of Ladue also offers a myriad of diverse dining op-portunities, several of which are within walking distance of CHS. Pei Wei, Original Pancake House and Maggie Moo’s are each options for students

Photo by Abraham Park

by NICK LEE, BEA MCGUIRE, NIKKI SERAJI and MAX STEINBAUM

Photo by Ella Engel

94% Caucasian 3.1% Asian

1.4% Hispanic 1.0% Black

DEMOGRAPHICS

looking for alternative lunch options. While not necessarily reasonable for a school day lunch in terms of the time, restaurants such as Lester’s, Sportsman’s Park and Companion are only a short drive west on Clayton Road. Sweetology, a do-it-yourself bakery, is also located on Clayton Road for those with a sweet tooth.

Ladue is home to many unique stores. Driving down Clayton Road you can see the majority of shops in Ladue. Pink Magnolia is a Lilly Pulitzer signature store located on Clayton Road. This family-owned business of-fers shoppers preppy and colorful clothes. MAC Designs is a store dedi-cated to monogramming and clothing. Lester’s Restaurant and Sports Bar is located on Clayton Road, serving BBQ and comfort food. Breeze is a blow dry bar in Ladue. For school dances many girls go to blow dry bars like Breeze to get their hair done.

While driving down Clayton Road, you can pop into many unique shops and restuarants, definitive of the Ladue ambiance.

UNIVERSITY CITY

University City, wedged between Clayton and a number of small com-munities, is one of the sister suburbs that make up the inner ring sur-rounding the City of St. Louis. With 35,371 people and six square miles, University City is well over two times Clayton’s size both in population and land. Clayton, however, has a much higher per capita income of $48,055 to U-City’s $26,901. The history, culture and educational facili-ties also set these two cities apart in more than just numbers and statis-tics.

University City was founded and developed in 1903 by a wealthy pub-lisher and developer of the Woman’s magazine and Woman’s Farm Jour-nal, Edward Lewis, who was also the first mayor of U-City.

The foundation of the city occurred following Lewis’s purchase of land near the site of the soon to be 1904 World’s Fair and subsequent expan-sion of his printing empire, with the incorporation of the city occurring in 1906. The land purchased was mostly undeveloped before its acquisi-tion, and the architecture of the city exhibits the era of its creation with a great deal of early 20th century buildings and fabrications.

Since U-City was founded, the town has grown from dirt roads and farms to a nighttime hot spot for citizens.

TheUniversity City School District operates similarly to Clayton’s with four elementary schools, one middle school and a high school.

Upon looking, their school appears to reside in a much older building and operates without open campus, though there is a special senior caf-eteria. This cafeteria, solely with the purpose of serving seniors, is sepa-rated from the freshman through junior cafeteria.

U-City’s basketball team is obviously a common interest for the stu-dents due to the arena’s immense size, much larger than Clayton’s Stu-ber Gym. Their football field is quite different from Clayton’s. The field is right on campus and not secluded away. Additionally, the field is made of real grass.

Their classrooms operate mostly with smartboards and the occasional outdated PC for the students use. Like Clayton, U-City High has a quad in the middle of the building. However, their quad only has the space for a few picnic tables. Ultimately, the U-City high school shares a great deal with Clayton High but also exhibits the wear characteristic of a much older school building.

University City holds several landmarks and interesting cultural at-tractions including COCA, a Church of Scientology and the Delmar Loop

by MICHAEL BERNARD, JACOB LAGESSE, ZACHARY SORENSON and ALBERT WANG

as well as containing a great deal of old early 20th century architecture. This includes the Tivoli, which is a distinct three screen movie theater that opened in 1924 on Delmar, and is also home to the Moonrise Hotel. Topping this hotel off is a 3,000 pound rotating moon. Lighting up the night sky, this moon is visible from all across the Loop.

The Loop has also showcased many musicians and other artists at The Pageant concert hall since its opening in 2000. The Loop is the heart of U-City’s restaurant and cultural scene which attracts people from all over the St. Louis area as a hotspot of art, food and energy.

Despite no open-campus in the University City High School, it is al-most the same as CHS sharing similar technology and in some ways su-perior athletic facilities.

The thing that sets our two cities apart the most however, is of course the culturally infused Delmar Loop, where CHS students and Clayton residents regularly frequent for food or shopping given its proximity to Clayton.

Photos by Abraham Park

Rex Rice: “I love going to concerts at The Pageant. That’s

one of my favorite parts [of the loop].”

James Gladstone: “[The loop] is really diverse. There is a sense of

community. I like visiting all the restaurants. Most recently [I visited] Doughocracy.”

What’s your favorite part about the Loop?

Dan Gutchewsky:“My favorite part of the loop is probably Blueberry

Hill. I love all the memorabilia. The food is good. It’s a St. Louis institution that’s been there for a while.”

D E M O G R A P H I C S :Population: 35,397 Population density(sq mi): 6,002 Median age: 37.0 Male/Female ratio: 0.9:1Per Capita Income: $26,901

Race:White - 50.8%Black - 41.1%Asian - 4.3%Latino - 2.8%Other - 2.7%

Photos by Abraham ParkCOVER 17

Demograph ic s :74.1% Whi t e

17.2% Afr i can Amer i can3 .5% As ian1.6% Other s

MAPLEWOODPopulation:

7,968(2013)

by CHARLIE BRENNAN, DANIEL CHO, CODY KRUTZSCH and MARTY SHARPE

Median Household Income: $36,090

Just past the southern border of Clayton resides the quaint busi-ness district of Maplewood. Traveling from Clayton, south on Big Bend Blvd., past Richmond Heights, one would enter into the City of Maplewood. This municipality, originally built as a “bedroom com-munity,” still provides as a getaway from the other urbanized areas in St. Louis. Built up in the early 20th century and located at the end of a streetcar line, many of the historic homes of Maplewood have stayed with families for generations.

Approaching Maplewood from Clayton, the first landmark is Manchester Road. The eastern end of Manchester Road, after Big Bend Blvd, is filled with many boutique shops, restaurants and local businesses. In addition to Manchester, Sutton Ave. and Greenwood’s Historic District also compose the integral parts of Maplewood.

The restaurants around the area are some of the most well known in St. Louis. Acero is an Italian restaurant and bar that has been resi-dent in Maplewood, and Gus’ World Famous Chicken is staple to the Maplewood diet.

Walking down Manchester, one will encounter an assortment of shops including Vom Fass, an olive oil shop, Penzey’s Spices and a Kakao chocolate shop. Each one of these is high-end and gourmet. On the sidewalk, there are metal plaques set in the concrete that bring the attractive and interesting aspect of the Delmar Loop. A historic stop in the cross-country highway Route 66, Maplewood County laid down multiple stars, commemorating some of the original stores and corner shops around.

Strange Donuts has gotten a lot of attention for their welcoming customer service, cool venues and “strange” flavors. They take a tradi-tional donut and create many different flavors ranging from the com-mon sprinkles (Rainbow Pony) and glazed, to more unique flavors such as Maple Bacon and Campfire. And for those looking for a meal in a donut, this venue also offers a Chicken and Waffle donut and Pi Pizza donut.

Besides Maplewood’s unique resturants, unlike Clayton, there are many different forms of fast food. From Domino’s Pizza to Steak n’ Shake and White Castle, Maplewood provides a close outlet for stu-dents’ cravings.

Maplewood has multiple sources of entertainment such as Sara-toga Lanes, an old style bowling alley. This has been the venue for bowling since 1916. This business-heavy sector is a safe place to take a walk around.

The Maplewood-Richmond Heights school district is the oldest in St. Louis County. The Blue Devils are long standing rivals to the Clayton Greyhounds. Their original high school building is still in use since its construction in 1926.

From the 2010 census, the racial makeup of Maplewood is 74.1% White, 17.2% African American, 3.5% Asian and 1.6% other races. The population of Maplewood was 8,046 people as of 2010. The city is approximately 1.56 square miles. In comparison, the city of Clayton is 2.48 square miles.

The Greenwood Historic District is one more addition to Maple-wood’s plethera of attributes. This subdivision of Maplewood, found-ed in the late 1800s, provides a window to the past. Some of these houses have been standing since the early 20th century.

Median Household Income: $36,090

THE GROVEFive and a half miles away from Clay-

ton, a fluorescent sign hangs above Man-chester Avenue, marking the entrance to a strip of restaurants, coffee shops, bars and street art known as The Grove. On a Saturday afternoon, the block was almost empty, only to make way for a pulsation of life just a few hours later.

Known in St. Louis as a haven for the LGBT community, the colorful flags and rainbow painted crosswalks decorating the street only reaffirm this belief. Bars such as “Just John” and “Rehab” clearly cater to a younger and more liberal crowd, precisely the sort of people that the Grove attracts. Further down the street, a sign outside of RISE Coffee reads “Compassion is the radicalism of our time.”

Behind the strip of commercialism lie parallel blocks of housing for the Grove community. One street is full of decrepit houses with their addresses spray-painted on the boards covering the long-missing windows, with porches sunken towards the ground and front steps nonexistent. Directly behind is another street filled with homes of affluence, similar to those that might be seen in the Clayton com-

by SOPHIE ALLEN, ALEX BERNARD and GRACE HARRISON

munity, polar opposites of the houses just a street over. The disparity between the two lanes was staggering.

The distinct and artistic vibe of the Grove was especially prominent through the variety of street artwork. From graf-fiti on the abandoned and closed down businesses (a particularly clever one reads “Herban Legend”) to presumably publicly commissioned pieces of art on the sides of buildings, color coated everything. A large black and white portrait of a girl covered the entirety of the face of a building, the side of a U.S. Bank was dotted with paint-ed bikers and various designs featuring the word “Grove” could be found up and down this portion of Manchester. Given the types of businesses found in the same stretch of road, like yoga studios, clay sculpting galleries and vinyl record shops, it was clear that art is a very important aspect of the lifestyle in the Grove.

As we entered the Grove, we pulled over to eat lunch at Atomic Cowboy, a building which, like many of its neighbor-ing structures, was decorated with street art; this building was sporting a painted feminine cowgirl riding into the air on a

The incredible diversity throughout the neighborhood. That diversity comes in ev-ery form: economic, racial, sexual orienta-tion, lifestyle, family structure, careers, etc. My favorite aspect of the Grove is that all of those things are celebrated as a whole. There’s no judgement based on lifestyle in the Grove. People support each other no matter who you are. No matter where you come from, you have a home in the Grove.

rocket. As we entered through the wel-coming, propped-open door, we were stumped to find only a few of the many tables occupied. Nevertheless, the single bustling waiter/bartender/host/cashier assured us our meals would be hot and delicious, and Atomic Cowboy did not disappoint. From chili fries to enchila-das, the various and exciting dishes we encountered seemed to mirror the energy and spunk of the Grove itself. Leaving the somewhat vacant inside of the restau-rant, we peeked through the back door to find the reason for the abandoned inside of the restaurant: outdoor seating. People (and their dogs) filled the outside tables, music and conversation dominating the atmosphere. This was the Grove.

Interview with Justin Seiwell, CHS video production teacher and Grove resident.

What is your favorite part about life in the Grove?

What brought you there?

How do Clayton and the Grove compare?

Favorite spot to eat?

Best cup of coffee?

Well, the major difference is the eco-nomic difference. In Clayton, you have corporate headquarters, financial institu-tions and a lot of high-income careers. In the Grove you don’t have that. Most of the economics in the Grove center around bars, concert venues and mom-and-pop shops. Poverty in the Grove is very real, and you see it every day. But the key similarity be-tween the two communities is that both of them have a certain level to which they cel-ebrate lots of different people living lots of different lives, working together and get-ting along with one another.

When I moved back to St. Louis, I knew that I wanted to live in the city, and I origi-nally thought I wanted to live Downtown. But as I looked for places to live, I knew I needed a place that had more of a neigh-borhood feel. I knew people who lived in the Grove who talked frequently about the sense of community that existed there and how people take care of each other. I also knew that the Grove would be the next up-and-coming area of St. Louis City and I wanted to be there to see the changes.

Everest Cafe.

RISE Coffee.photos by Sophie Allen

Driving through downtown Ferguson, buildings are seemingly minis-cule compared to the government buildings that loom beside them. In all of the city, the only new buildings are those of the police and fire depart-ments. Past a collection of houses, we stop at a small, wooden building, adjacent to the railroad tracks that overlook the city of Ferguson.

Elaborate paintings are left on the crumbling walls of stores, graffiti displaying hopes of peace, and reminders to reflect. On a large sign, the image of 9-year-old Jamyla Bolden stares down at the cars rolling past, and in large letters reads the phrase, “let her life bring love.”

These glazed businesses once prospered, but many were left destroyed in anger due to the controversial incidents which occurred in August of 2014.

However, the hopeful murals are contrasted with messages of hate sprayed on trees. This represents one of the many dualities of Ferguson. The city is physically torn apart, split into “Two Fergusons.” On one half of the city, there are white families with relatively large houses and “I Love Ferguson” yard signs. It is near these streets where “We Support Our Law Enforcement” billboards are seen. Just a few miles down the road,

FERGUSONby NISHA KLIEN and SAMANTHA ZEID

houses shrink and cop cars loom. Standing on Canfield Dr. – the street in which Mike Brown was killed–

we stare at the newly cemented black spot in the road, the place where his body laid for hours.

Across the road, a man exits his apartment. It didn’t take much small talk for him to mention being an eyewitness to the shooting. A year and a half later, the emotion is still raw, and was reflected throughout his spo-ken word poem. His feelings poured out into the air as we listened, and the street was silent after he finished.

“If you’re having a bad day, you check that before you put that uniform on ... You be mentally ready to interact [in] any situation,” he said.

He told us his name was Phil Walker, and he had lived there, across from the scene of national controversy, for three years.

“Some people deal with things differently than other people, and some people would rather move than try to fix the problem … It’s not what people have projected it to be, as far as ... destructive, non-productive,” he said regarding the perception of Ferguson.

In our peripheral vision, two kids came into view. Peacefully riding their bikes, they passed over the black spot in the road. On a street where a life was cut short, the playful sound of childhood can still be heard.

From a distance, the tops of buildings and busy streets almost look like those of Clayton, but not only is Ferguson a much smaller city, but it resembles Clayton less and less the more you travel through it. From the inside, Ferguson seems completely unique. Until the tragic events of August 2014, the city was virtually unknown, except to its residents and neighboring towns.

However, Ferguson was not defined merely by Mike Brown’s death, and the media attention.

“It took a situation like this for [people] to wake up, and live life in-stead of just existing … They were just existing, but not living,” Walker said.

Yet, the shooting and the proceeding events represented the division of the city. It was divided before, and is still divided after.

Even now, Ferguson is recognized only as the tear gas filled streets on the covers of magazines, and the images of guns. Though it is an area less unknown to us, Ferguson is still not quite real to those living inside the bubble of their own town.

Walker said, “You’re gonna have stereotypes ... You’re gonna be put in a category ... you just can’t let that move you. Gotta keep being you.”

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1) Grafftied tree near Canfield Drive (Nisha Klein). 2) Ferguson Market & Liquor boarded

up from the riots during 2015 (Noah Engel). 3) Ferguson Police Department (Klein). 4) Plaque in memory of Michael Brown (Klein). 5) Quick

Trip that was burned during the riots of 2015 (Engel).

You’ll know you’re in The Hill when you see fire hydrants, lamp posts and even street murals painted to look like the Italian Flag. The sense of Italian pride is eminent throughout this “Little Italy” in southern St. Louis, exemplified through their own Italian American Publication news-paper ‘IL PENSIERO,’ which translates to ‘THE THOUGHT.’

This cultural gem found its roots during the 1890’s when many Italian immigrants migrated toward an abundance of jobs in a nearby clay mine and brick-making factory. The Hill earned its name because it’s located on the largest hill in St. Louis, making it one of the highest points within the city’s boundaries.

When the Italian immigrants migrated over in a community, they wanted to keep the traditions from their hometowns in southern Italy alive. They created a mini city with their own grocery stores, renowned restaurants and places of worship. This Italian microcosm even includes parks, doctor offices and schools. There is even a special bocce ball garden known as Milo’s Bocce Ball Garden for people to enjoy in their free time.

One of The Hill’s most definitive characteristics is the handcrafted cui-sine which can transport you back to Italy. A majority of the restaurants and stores in the area are locally owned, ‘mom and pop’ establishments which add to the character of the neighborhood. Some of the most be-loved eateries include Adriana’s, Rigazzi’s and Zia’s. The neighborhood is unique in its unity and open-armed embrace of other immigrant cultures exemplified by the Spanish-Italian and Greek-Italian fusion restaurants.

Not only is The Hill a treasure trove of Italian culture but a home to nationally recognized sports stars. On Elizabeth Street, recently named Hall of Fame Place, the houses of Baseball Hall-of-Famers Yogi Berra and Joe Garagiola sit right across the street from each other.

The sidewalk in front of the homes bear testament to their achieve-ments with a granite plaque. The Hill was also home to five of the soccer stars on the 1950 U.S World Cup Soccer team that upset England. Their homes can be found on Daggett Avenue whose name was also changed recently to Soccer Hall of Fame Place.

St. Ambrose Church serves as the epicenter of the community. Not only is it connected to the St. Ambrose Catholic elementary school, where many of the Hill residents send their children, but it also connects the community through the common religion.

The community’s individuality is also illustrated through the unique

by OLIVIA REUTER and LUCY COHEN

THE HILL

architecture style. Most of the houses in the neighborhood are shotgun style -- very narrow and long with a porch in the front. Their structure allows there to be many homes in a small amount of space and to be squeezed between businesses.

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“The Italian Immigrants” statue in front of the St. Ambrose Church celebrates the heritage of many of The Hill’s resi-dents. (photos by Akansha Goel and

Ava Hoffman)

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NOTEABLE PLACES

1. Herbaria, an all-natural soap shop located on Marconi Avenue, offers an informative tour of their

soap-making process and many natural body products.

2. Shaw’s Coffee, a popular cof-fee shop in Shaw Avenue, is a great place to get a hot drink and meet up with friends while also being within walking distance of many

local shops and restaurants.

3. The Hill is also home to many historic sports sites most

prominently on Elizabeth Street, renamed Baseball Hall of Fame street, where you can see Yogi

Berra’s boyhood home among that of wrestling champion Mickey Ga-ragiola and those of other sports

superstars.

4. The St. Ambrose Church, a cultural epicenter for many of

The Hill residents.

5. There are signposts and flags proudly sporting “The Hill” all over the area that add to

the festive spirit of the entire neighborhood.

6. The Hill area houses have a unique style, featuring long, one-story houses, and many

of the homes, like the one pictured, are highly decorated,

making each home different from the next.

7. The area’s connection to Italian culture is clear from the moment that you cross over the

boundary with fire hydrants painted to look like Italian flags to a gigantic street mural that

also resembles the flag.

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COVER 26

As the busy, narrow streets of the Central West End give way to the calm suburban neighborhoods with homes that look like they just came out of a Ken doll house and trees in perfect rows, the Central West End ra-diates a feel so similar to the bubble we constantly experience in Clayton. The gates of the private streets resemble the same opulence we are famil-iar with in Clayton’s most prestigious neighborhoods, namely Brentmoor Park.

Perhaps the epicenter of the historically-rich part of St. Louis is locat-ed at the famous Chase Park Plaza, a luxury hotel that has housed several of our nation’s commander-in-chiefs and a plethora of some of the most iconic musicians including Frank Sinatra, Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin.

Three restaurants share the 212 N. Kingshighway Blvd. address with the hotel and its residents; The Tenderloin Room, Cafe Eau and a recent addition, The Preston, all serve to please the palettes of local St. Louisans. Geographically, the Chase Park Plaza lies on the intersection of Mary-land Ave. and North Kingshighway. One exit of the hotel will lead you down Maryland Avenue, which contains a cluster of the region’s superior restaurants and shops. Maryland Avenue, consisting of boutique shops, ethnically diverse restaurants, and to top it off, luxury living options, epitomizes what separates the Central West End from other municipali-ties in the St. Louis area.

The Central West End will appeal to most people, assuming they have an appetite and a wallet. That said, those on a budget will find pleasure

in the area’s (minimally-costing) cultural landmarks such as the World Chess Hall of Fame and the Cathedral Basilica, both of which call the Central West End home. For those with a picky appetite, Gerard Craft, the James Beard award-winning chef whose influence is felt greatly in Clayton with his overwhelmingly popular restaurants Niche and Pastaria, wins big with Brasserie by Niche and Taste. If one is just trying to grab a casual dinner with family or friends, Pi Pizza, the small St. Louis deep-dish pizza chain, has a very convenient Central West End location that will attract all members of the family, even the young children. If one’s looking to top off their stay in the area, they should head to Jeni’s Ice Cream, a relatively new spot for creamy and exotic ice cream.

Aside from its recreational uniqueness, the Central West End is cul-turally significant and diverse. From merely walking the area, one will notice all the different types of people that spend time or live in the Cen-tral West End. A melting pot of people from different backgrounds and a melting pot of culturally significant landmarks, the Central West End will appeal to visitors seeking a place to eat, shop or indulge in cultural activities in a historically-rich area. And, one doesn’t have to be a visitor to experience all that the Central West End has to offer; the municipal-ity contains living options ranging from small, affordable apartments to large, opulent multi-million dollar mansions. Regardless of one’s inten-tions, they will find it all and more in between Central West End’s succinct boundaries.

by NOAH BROWN and BRIAN GATTER

CENTRALWEST END

Clockwise from top right: The storefronts of the Central West End (Jenny Braverman), The St. Louis Chess Hall of Fame (Jenny Braverman) Inside the Chase Park Plaza Movie Theater (Noah Brown), Historic, independent book store Left Bank Books (Noah Brown)

MEDIAN HOUSEHOLD INCOME:

$34,991

POPUL AT ION:

14 ,471

by OLVIA JOSEPH, LISI LEVY, CAMILLE RESPESS and ELLIE TOMASSON

OLD NORTHST. LOUIS

Nestled above downtown St. Louis and just west of the Missis-sippi lies a 30 acre neighborhood: Old North St. Louis. Within this small locality exists a duplicitous community of decrepit, backless houses, peppered with newer revi-talized homes, centered around the clean-swept, newly paved, sleek fa-çaded Crown Square.

Brick two-story townhouses mark the streets. However, after years of vacancy, many have col-lapsed under structural pressures. According to 2010 census data for the area, of the 995 houses in Old North, 223 are vacant. Bricks which once supported these empty houses now lie strewn about the front lawns of the empty homes.

These historic St. Louis struc-tures date back to as early as 1816 and for the past five decades, have seen steep decline in community, care and upkeep; the population in Old North St. Louis is, according to the 2010 census, 1,916 occupants.

But throughout the area are homes that stand strong and emu-late a nostalgic quality, commemo-rating the 200 years in which Old North has existed.

Unlike the homes of Clayton, in their various neighborhoods that seem to fit with each other, the ones in Old North do not. The mix-ture of quaint homes which have preserved the community’s history

and ones that have fallen apart with time fill Old North.

This dichotomy is the result of a long standing program to renovate and restore the value and charm of this historic area.

The Old North St. Louis Res-toration Group, which was estab-lished in 1981, is comprised of community members who strive to better the physical and social as-pects of the neighborhood.

On various dilapidated homes throughout the community are boarded down signs displaying that the Restoration Group is in the pro-cess of stabilization. The group has also given homes in the area new foundations to avoid the fate that the crumbling buildings has faced.

Just blocks from the hous-ing district is Old North’s Crown Square. This area lures outsiders as Crown Candy Kitchen, St. Lou-is’s oldest soda fountain, is one of the most popular diners in the area. Similar to some of the homes in Old North, Crown Candy has maintained its historic quality and charm for over a century.

Crown Square was revamped by the Old North St. Louis Restora-tion Group in 2007. Today, Crown Square exists as a pocket of con-temporary storefronts in the sea of more traditional, yet sordid, houses.

Within Crown Square, there is a mix of quaint mom and pop shops and modern establishments, such as a furniture shop and yoga studio.

While Crown Square represents the progressive revitalization effort, the citizens of Old North still retain a fierce pride for the historical community. Hung

in the windows of many stores and homes are signs displaying their love of the dis-trict reading, “I love Old North.”

Although Old North St. Louis has had both a colored and troubled past, there is potential for the neighborhood as the Restoration Group is “building an urban village on the edge of downtown.”

DEMOGRAPHICS: 78.0% Black 18.5% White

2.9% Hispanic or Latino origin2.2% Multiracial

0.8% Native American0.4% Asian

0.4% Unknown race

(Top left) Crown Plaza, (top right) Vacated home in Old North, (bottom right) Boarded up home to be restored.

(Photos by Katherine Sleckman)

COVER 29

SOUTHGRAND

Total Population111,606 (5 Minutes)290,393 (10 Minutes)555,562 (15 Minutes)

Population between age 0-915,594 (5 Minutes)36,049 (10 Minutes)68,496 (15 Minutes)

Population between 10-1912,616 (5 Minutes)31,636 (10 Minutes)67,332 (15 Minutes)

Population between 20-3938,869 (5 Minutes)99,455 (10 Minutes)170,345 (15 Minutes)

Population between 40-6937,329 (5 Minutes)99,474 (10 Minutes)193,999 (15 Minutes)

Population 70+6,325 (5 Minutes)22,184 (10 Minutes)52,888 (15 Minutes)

High School Education20,356 (5 Minutes)51,787 (10 Minutes)97,035 (15 Minutes)

College Degree24,935 (5 Minutes)72,478 (10 Minutes)140,436 (15 Minutes)

Avg. Family Income56,645 (5 Minutes)63,389 (10 Minutes)73,592 (15 Minutes)

by MITALI SHARMA and LAUREN PRAISS

SOUTH GRAND DEMOGRAPHICS:

minutes signify driving times from South Grand business district

information from southgrand.org

WALK IT:

Tower Grove Park was created when Henry Shaw

gave money to create a “pleasure ground,” now

known as the park. With colorful Victorian style pa-vilions and beautiful open grounds, it is a great place for a picnic or a nice jog.

Exit the park and continue down Grand towards the business district. On the

way, pick from the variety and stop for some great

ethnic food!

Cross over to the neighborhoods on either side of the street. Note the Victorian style houses and stroll down the streets. You can also get a sense of the culture by noting the large pres-

ence of many “Black Lives Matter” and “Bernie 2016” yard signs. These are the Tower Grove South and Tower Grove East neighborhoods.

Tower Grove Creamery offers a variety of differ-ent flavors and cones. It is a great place to grab a

sweet treat.

SOUTH

GRAND

Grand Boulevard offers a vibrant array of things to do, see, and, of course, eat. Right next to Tower Grove Park, it is a wonderful place to grab some food and enjoy a picnic. Food options are far from limited. A strong international influence brings everything from Mediterranean to Viet-namese to the table. Pho Grand, The Vine and Treehouse are some places to check out. Treehouse is a vegetarian res-taurant and offers local, organic dishes. This eco-friendly theme continues to be exemplified by the Farmer’s Market which takes place in Tower Grove during the summer.

Grand Boulevard also has unique shops with a variety of things to buy. International products are easy to find in this area; there is also Jay’s International Foods which of-fers an assortment of international cooking products.

Aimee Snelling, Wydown Middle School social studies teacher, lives in the South Grand area. Finding a home in South Grand was a matter of chance. Snelling’s husband was riding his bike and happened to be in the area.

“[My husband] was on a bike ride one weekend and ended up on this block that we live on, which is a tiny one-way street that nobody ever can really find; he found it on this bike ride and there happened to be a house for sale,” Snelling said. “We called the owners and two days later we bought it. I don’t think we were even ready to buy a house but we loved it so much and we’ve been there for 18 years

now.”The neighborhoods near Tower Grove Park and Grand

Boulevard are full of classic Victorian and Colonial style homes. Each of the homes is situated on a small rectangle lot that is surrounded by a simple black fence. In some of the houses, a path leads through the black fence and fol-lows a white staircase that climbs up to the covered front porch. Standing on the porch, a brown front door with a giant glass window shows the entrance to the home. On the outside, red and brown bricks layer to the roof of each of the homes and sophisticated windows look out to the street.

Schools in the area differ from neighborhood to neigh-borhood. The public schools correspond with the St. Louis Public School district and the Metro magnet school pro-gram (which includes schools like McKinley Classical Lead-ership Academy). There are many private schools around the area as well, like Tower Grove Christian School.

With everything from great ethnic cuisine to the St. Louis PrideFest Parade, South Grand has a unique atmo-sphere and offers something different for every person.

“I like the diversity. It’s a really diverse community --the people, the restaurants there--you can find something from practically every country in the world on Grand,” Snelling said.

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WALK IT:

COVER 31

by LEMUEL LAN, EUNICE SHIN and ELISE YANG

Population* : 27,540*According to the 2010 Census

Upon entering the main street of downtown Kirkwood, aptly named Kirkwood Rd, visitors see rows of unique shops and restaurants such as Andy’s Frozen Custard and Fun in the Sun Sports and Leisure. Global Foods Market, a grocery store dedicated to providing ethnic foods from across the world, is a prominent attraction for both locals and visitors. The store maintained a variety of different spices, fresh vegetables and aisles of packaged products having iconic dishes representative of each culture around the world. The aisles are organized by country instead of dish type, and the hanging banners of countries’ flags create a global feel-ing of connection.

Other main attractions in Kirkwood include the famous train station, otherwise known as the Amtrak station. This historic station is entirely run by Kirkwood residents who volunteer to help answer passengers’ questions and board the train. Their efforts were recognized by Amtrak when they presented the volunteers with ‘Champion of the Rails’ award at its President’s Service and Safety Awards banquet in 2004.

Kirkwood also maintains a close, grounded connection within the local community through a local farmer’s market outside close to the Amtrak station. The farmer’s market remains closed and empty during the winter, but opens its stalls for consumers in late spring. This market provides a chance for farmers to sell their locally grown produce and is a thriving business open from April until October. Across the street from

the farmer’s market is the historic OK Hatchery, where the large build-ing’s structure provides a homely feeling for customers searching to buy gardening tools, seeds and chicken feed. The architecture is shaped like a barn and has remained a part of downtown Kirkwood’s culture since 1927.

In terms of entertainment, the Magic House is a prominent attraction, drawing many families out there with their children to learn through kid-friendly exhibits. This prominently built building hosts a variety of dif-ferent attractions, including touching an electrically charged ball, sliding down a three-story slide and creating a three-dimensional impression of oneself.

At every other corner, each turn reveals a new church or chapel. Kirk-wood is full of different worship centers for different denominations for Christianity, including Episcopalian, Baptist, Lutheran, Methodist, Pres-byterian and many others.

In the middle of the neighborhood lies Kirkwood High School, home to the Kirkwood Pioneers. The large school houses approximately 2,000 students. For comparison, about 800 students go to CHS.

Being the first planned suburb in St. Louis, Kirkwood prides itself on being called the “Queen of the St. Louis Suburbs.” The bustling downtown area and large presence in St. Louis truly exemplifies that epithet.

89.4% White7.0% African American

1.4% Asian

KIRKWOOD

Photos by Eunice Shin

by SOPHIE BARNES, ASHLEIGH WILLIAMS and TARA WILLIAMS

Driving through the rolling hills and neighborhoods of Affton reminds one of a simpler, older time. With Grant’s Farm and numerous other Na-tional Historical Sites, Affton is truly an antique treasure. Famous land-marks include Sonny’s Barber Shop, an insta-famous barber who will give you the fade you want. People who have an interest in exercise spend lots of their time in Affton on the multiple trails there including Grant’s Trail, a path that runs throughout Southwest Missouri. There are not too many activities to do other than visit Grant’s Farm and the other neighboring counties and municipalities, which include Sunset Hills and Kirkwood. These counties offer up wonders including The Magic House and Ronnie’s Movie Theater.

Affton, Missouri, has a rich history. Established in the early 1800s by settlers, Affton boasts numerous historical sites including the ten-mile house, Grant’s Farm, and, perhaps the most treasured historical land-mark in the county, Ulysses S. Grant’s cabin. The numerous parks and recreational centers found throughout Affton might remind visitors of the show Parks and Recreation. It is definitely a small-knit community, and the town’s appreciation for nature is evident.

Interestingly, according to United States Census Bureau, the county of Affton is about 97.62% white and only 0.06% black. The average house-hold income for Affton is much lower than it is in Clayton. The income for people living in Clayton is around $90,000 while in Affton it is a much lower $55,000. The job opportunities in Affton are more blue collar work, while in Clayton it is dramatically more white collar jobs. This town is great for retired, older people.

The pulse of the county definitely lies in the county’s vibrant church community. Driving past the area that most closely resembled the “coun-ty center” on a Friday afternoon, we saw many Fish Fries and ended up going to one. To our surprise, we saw many signs with unsettling adjec-tives staked around the front lawn of the Church--all leading up to a larg-er sign that said “Pro Life.” We had never seen anything like this around the Clayton churches. The message that the sign conveyed in such a pub-lic way was far different from the churches that we are accustomed to in Clayton--the majority of which boast their acceptance of all and their more progressive perspectives.

Clearly, Affton is a unique place among St. Louis communities.

Population* : 20,307

Male median income : $38,141 Female median income : $28,397

*According to the 2010 Census

Photos by Akansha Goel

AFFTON

On Nov. 27, 2010, the Maplewood-Richmond Heights varsity football team took the field at the Edward Jones Dome in the class 2 state cham-pionship game. Despite a 34-13 loss to the Penney Hornets of Hamilton, Missouri, it was to be the zenith of MRH Blue Devil football -- only five years later, the high school’s football program ceased to exist when the Maplewood-Richmond Heights school board elected to disband it in June 2015.

Brian Adkisson, MRH’s director of communications, provided insight as to the rationale which allowed for such a decision. Foremost, he attri-butes the school board’s cancellation of the football program to lackluster interest in the sport at the high school level, as quantified by a decline in participation.

“The primary reason [the program was cancelled] was just a lack of interest from the student body,” Adkisson said. “The number of kids going out for football has really been decreasing, going back to 2008. Last year, we only had 20 kids go out, and then because of injuries and what not over the season, we ended it with only 14 players.”

Such decline in participation came to a head this past fall, when only a small handful of players -- about nine to 12, according to Adkisson -- ex-pressed serious interest in playing football for the 2015 season.

“MSHSAA [Missouri State High School Activities Association] recom-mends having at least 23 players [for a football team],” Adkisson said. “So only having nine or 12, that’s just not enough kids to fill the team.”

Under such circumstances, the school board moved to cancel the pro-gram.

If interest were to arise again, Adkisson believes that the school board would certainly consider reinstating the high school’s football program, but also stressed that such considerations would have to be warranted by student interest -- which, at present, is minimal.

Granted, the present situation at Maplewood-Richmond Heights may be an exaggeration of the extent of high school football’s national decline.

by MAX STEINBAUMnews section editor

But participation trends still unequivocally indicate a wane in football’s prominence.

According to the New York Times, participation in high school football has decreased 2.5 percent in the past five seasons. Participation in Pop Warner -- America’s largest youth football league -- has experienced an even more severe decline. Per ESPN, involvement in Pop Warner dove a frightening 9.5 percent from 2010-12.

And if those numbers aren’t compelling? Over the past decade, the nosedive in participation experienced by Greyhounds football positively dwarfs the national trend. In 2005, the program enjoyed a whopping 109 players. By 2014, the Hounds’ numbers were whittled to only 61 partici-pants -- an astounding 44 percent decrease over that nine season span -- at a time when overall participation in fall sports remained relatively constant.

An absolute freefall -- and that’s putting it lightly.And if football participation were to continue declining at this rate

-- approximately 5 players per year -- the program would have below the MSHSAA requirement of 23 players within only six seasons.

But what could be the cause of such a startling decline? Could it be that heightened concerns about concussions and injuries

are driving students away from football? Are other sports just drawing better than they have in the past, attracting from the pool of kids who would otherwise be playing football? Or is it simply a matter of insuf-ficient interest, as was the case at MRH?

Bob Bone, Clayton’s athletic director of 10 years, acknowledged the steep decline, but doesn’t believe it can be attributed to growing concerns about concussions and other serious injuries.

“We’ve had concussions, broken bones, ACL tears … but I don’t think it’s any different than what most high school settings see,” Bone said. “[Plus], we have concerns about all of our sports. There are inherent dan-gers with each of them.”

Bone also spoke to the numerous safety measures Clayton has taken in recent years in order to make the game safer for student-athletes, par-ticularly with regard to concussion prevention.

“There have been a lot of changes over the last several years. Concus-sions are a big concern, and we’re more aware now than ever before about the dangers [associated with] concussions,” Bone said. “We try to make sure that the helmets we have are the best, [and] in terms of tackling, the technique taught by our coaches emphasizes not leading with your head.”

Additionally, Bone argued that growing concerns about concussions and injuries are not scaring off potential players, and therefore not to blame for the reduction in participation in the Greyhound football pro-gram. Rather, students hesitant to join high school football are most like-ly afraid of the physical nature of the sport to begin with.

“I think it’s the contact in general [that scares people off]. Some people just don’t like the contact, to get hit like that. For someone not playing, that’s a bigger factor than thinking, ‘I don’t want to get hurt,’” Bone said.

Bone also articulated the importance with which CHS values its foot-ball program.

“Football is something that’s been a part of our tradition for a very long time, and I think that it plays a very important role here at CHS. With everything we’re doing, I don’t think football has ever come up in a

With football participation acutely declining, what does the sport’s future look like at CHS?

P I G S K I N P R O G N O S I S

The Clayton Greyhounds fell to Riverview Gar-dens in the first round of the district playoffs last

season. (Photo by Alex Gerchen)

SPORTS 34

SPORTS 35

conversation where we’ve asked [if] it’s something we want to continue to offer. So, there hasn’t been any conversation like the one in Maplewood,” Bone said.

But even if safety concerns aren’t the culprit -- and Greyhound foot-ball isn’t in any danger of cancellation by Clayton’s administration -- it’s undeniable that acutely declining participation, if spanned out over the next six seasons, will pose an existential threat to the program.

Gene Gladstone, the head coach of the football team, joined Clayton’s program in 2015.

Like Bone, Gladstone acknowledged the heightened level of danger as-sociated with football as a sport, particularly with regard to concussion concerns. He also echoed Bone, however, in noting the inherent hazards of all contact sports.

As a new addition to the Greyhounds football staff, Gladstone can’t speak much to the decline in participation that is already more than a decade underway. He did, however, comment on his desire to prevent this trend from continuing.

“My job is to make sure participation doesn’t decline,” Gladstone said. “I don’t see an avenue where participation [continues to decrease]. We want to accelerate what we’re doing.”

Gladstone also alluded to the possibility of establishing programs for students at Wydown to encourage participation at a younger age, which would hopefully translate into a higher crop of football players at the high school level.

“We see a good opportunity in the middle school -- starting a middle school football program -- which will improve participation at the high school. What we look for is an increase. Of course we won’t know [the effect] for the next couple years, but that’s certainly the strategy and the goal,” Gladstone said.

So, despite efforts to assuage injury concerns and a plan to patch in-

sufficient participation, Greyhound football’s plummet is still a reality at present. Additionally, the fact remains that while the football outfit’s numbers are evaporating, each of the other seasonally concurrent boys’ sports are experiencing a rise in entrants.

Tom Redmond, currently in his sixth year of coaching both boys’ and girls’ varsity soccer at Clayton, reflected the sentiments of Bone and Glad-stone in citing the innate dangers of all contact sports, including soccer.

“Concussions are really prevalent in soccer too. We’ve actually had a number of kids who have sustained concussion injuries over the last cou-ple of years. Both sports are contact sports, and both sports have issues with concussions,” Redmond said.

Redmond also acknowledged the boys’ soccer program’s rising partici-pation levels, but doesn’t necessarily believe that it is related to football’s decrease.

“I don’t think it correlates with any of the other sports we offer at Clayton,” he said. “If kids [continue] to walk away from football, I don’t know that our numbers are going to increase a whole lot.”

However, the fact that each of the other boys’ fall sports have enjoyed growth over the past decade -- growth which, in aggregate, virtually matches football’s declining numbers -- would seem to indicate that the other fall sports are expanding at football’s expense.

But while football’s future may appear bleak considering current trends, any death knell for the Greyhounds football program would be premature and inappropriate.

Indeed -- as outlined by both Bone and Gladstone -- plans for equip-ment improvements, recruitment at younger levels, and general reinvigo-ration may just be the cocktail for a Clayton gridiron renaissance.

And for now, football still lives.

The only thing better than a good meal, it seems, is a good meal while watching Netflix.

At Bobo Noodle House, diners enjoy authentic East-Asian dishes in front of the projected image of the Netflix home screen on the walls around them. Guests can choose any show of their liking to play softly against the egg white walls of the restaurant. When the projector isn’t displaying television shows to its customers, it broadcasts news or images of world affairs, giving diners an opportunity to catch up on anything that they might have missed during the day.

Meals are made efficiently but with care at Bobo Noodle House. Even before diners receive their food, the restaurant manages to cast an ata-ractic effect on all those within its walls. Calming vibes emanate from the demure lantern lighting, soft background jazz and paper decor of the restaurant. Yellow paper displaying blurred drawings and fuzzy hai-kus hang from silver clothespins, dimming the intensity of hanging light bulbs. The restaurant’s signature white flowers sit in glass vases on every table, their scent mixing with the spice of the East-Asian cuisine. A single

booth snakes its way along the entire length of one wall of the restaurant, giving diners the rare chance to watch as the chefs toss the noodles and vegetables into a dish behind an exposed counter.

The restaurant is popular for its drastic variety of noodles. Diners can choose between dozens of options, as well as pick from a variety of differ-ent vegetable and meat combinations. Some of Bobo Noodle House’s best dishes include tastes of roasted pineapple and peanuts slathered with dozens of spice sauces. The cashew chicken is easily the restaurant’s most popular dish and is also the most unique variation of this classic dish that I have ever tried. Bobo Noodle House is the only place that I have ever known to include udon noodles, red peppers and pineapple in a spinoff of one of the most popular Chinese dishes of all time.

Bobo Noodle House is young and thriving with its new following. Located off Skinker Boulevard, it is a popular place for both WashU and Clayton students, serving unique food that St. Louisans wouldn’t nor-mally have access to.

W H I T E P R I V I L E G E I I

OPINION 36

by KARENA TSEreporter

On Jan. 22, Macklemore released his song “White Privilege II,” a nine-minute reflection on his own privilege as a white man in America and in the hip hop industry. He tackles the big issues of the modern discussion about racism in America, voicing his earnest opposition to white privi-lege, cultural appropriation and police brutality.

Needless to say, a storm of opinions have greeted the song’s arrival. Some listeners agree with the message of the piece, and some don’t. But a more interesting and complex discussion lies not in the validity of the claims expressed in the song, but rather in the very fact that “White Privilege II” has generated such a remarkable response from the media.

Why is Macklemore being placed in the spotlight for saying things that artists of color have been saying for years? Why was his voice so easily heard? Ironically, the success of “White Privilege II” has almost everything to do with the very white privilege he discusses in the song.

The song itself is an experience. In a dense hodgepodge of thought-ful verses and samples, ranging from quietly contemplative to achingly frustrated to just pure, open, anger, “White Privilege II” takes the reader into the mind of a man wrestling with his own privilege. When listen-ing to it, I wanted to lose myself in it—in the weary, moaning opening vocals reminiscent of the slave spirituals, in the often startlingly honest lyrics, in the stark closing vocals by featured artist Jamila Woods—”Your silence is a luxury, hip hop is not a luxury.”

It is hard not to be lost in the song. In fact, I was completely enrap-tured upon first listen, and was ready to dish out major praise to Mackl-emore. But, I had to stop and think. A white guy should not be given a

gold star for recognizing his privilege. We should expect and demand this level of awareness in everyone. He should not be elevated as some sort of saviour for saying things that black artists have been saying for years. We should be listening to the voices of the oppressed, not favoring the voices of the privileged.

In the end, Macklemore could not win with this song, and he was aware—”If I’m put on blast, critiqued, broken down, questioned—all those things will happen, and they are completely valid. That’s part of the design of the conversation,” the rapper said in an interview with Rolling Stone.

He did the best thing he could with his plat-form—he started a conversation. Ultimately, what we can learn from his song is not the fact the white privilege exists—this is not new in-formation. If there is something innovative about “White Privilege II,” it is that a white man with a creative platform used his voice to engage the listeners in a dialogue about racism in America. So if you, like Macklemore, ben-efit from white privilege, do not be silent. Ask yourself the same questions he asks himself in the song: “What if I actually read an article, ac-tually had a dialogue / Actually looked at my-self, actually got involved?”

B O B O N O O D L E H O U S Eby MADELINE BALE

reporter

Macklemore sparks controversy over his new song.

A hot spot for Wash U and Clayton students.

OPINION 37

When we think of home, many imagine a place of comfort, a place of belonging and safety. Home is our own little hide-out, a bubble where we can return to each day. Many of us hesitate to stray too far from our little familiar area.

The different places beyond our bubble make us feel uncomfortable and unprepared. But this restricted, blinded view leaves us walking down a straight path of unawareness.

Our cautiousness hinders us from experiencing the world in its fullest sense. The place and setting have all the more impact upon what we see about the world. Our learning is richer as we truly experience life when we are immersed in the space. People begin to have conversations and open discussions, having an opportunity to freely exchange thoughts and ideas the further we step away from our comfort bubble.

Locations create a powerful feeling of a centered base. In order to un-derstand a person’s background, one needs to simply put himself or her-self in that place. The setting gives such vivid, sensory detail that speaks to a person’s understanding of that area.

People travel the world to have an appreciation for the beautiful plac-es they see. Simply being in the present in a new location changes the way we view and care about things.

For instance, traveling to National Parks may spark an unfound ap-preciation for the beauty and importance of nature, while exploring a nearby neighborhood gives insight into a different community with its own hidden gems that are fundamental to that place.

Yet we seem determined to live our lives detached and removed from the world around us.

News stories seem ever more distant and unrelatable from our lack of connection to the instance. The attacks at San Bernardino left people

S T A F F E D I T O R I A L : W i t n e s s i n gfeeling sorry for the families there, but lacking the understanding of the true pain and devastation from the shootings. Bombings at Ankara, Brussels, Istanbul and Lahore underwent a lack of media coverage, leaving people ignorant to the devastating plight of other countries. After the events of Ferguson, various other United States citizens conjured up an image of the entire Missouri erupting into flames from the riots because they had never been to the state be-fore.

More often than not, we simply glance over a story and feel sympathy, but because of our inexperience with the place, our un-derstanding of the event is skewed and disconnected. The more we become involved and connected with the world, the harder it is to ignore the reality of the events around us.

This is not because of sheer ignorance. This is not because we lack the capacity to care or the decency to exhibit more emotional responses of empathy. We simply lack a sense of what the world is like beyond our comfortable homes and our familiar streets. We eas-ily jump to our safe setting where we know the place like the back of our hands. But this attitude leaves us unable to reflect upon what we have seen or heard about, on the true impact of the story.

The sympathetic connection seems fragile and flimsy when we cannot truly understand sobering events that happen daily around the world. Sympathy offers shelled packages of pity and sorrow, but the emotional connection that humans need from one another is missing. We long to connect, to relate, to belong. Empathy creates this missing link that we need, parts of it found within the locations of a person’s life, their stories and background being told piece by piece.

The bubble that we live in is not simply a large, protective barrier that we must step out of. Instead, the world needs witnessing, an ever present state of mind no matter where one goes.

It is necessary for us to broaden our horizons, both big and small. The world seems ever so grand and vast, with undiscovered places

and inspiring experiences. Witnessing the world brings us to new under-standings about different stories and lives as we begin to recognize the similarities and connections with new people.

But witnessing the world in small steps also matters, as we take a look around our own community. Being observant on a small scale helps us find ways to improve the community that we live in. Observing life around us at a smaller scale gives insight into self-reflection, allowing us to discover why we are the people we are today.

What matters from both the small and large scale is finding lessons where each different scenario teaches one more about the world and the power of taking new chances to witness and experience life in its fullest.

Our home is beyond the simple protective bubble that we are so com-fortable with. Our home is the world, connected by each other’s stories through emotional bonds that are fostered within each place discovered. Our home is the globe, where we are no longer isolated from each other, but simply living and witnessing the world, one small place at a time.

For a deeper understanding and appreciation for the world, work

on being present.

OPINION 38

by OLIVIA REUTERreporter

t h e G L O O BAmerica’s Finest News Source

P R O - S A T I R E

Mike McAvoy, president of The Onion, a satirical newspaper stands in front of the logo of the paper.

(Abel Uribe/Chicago Tribune/MCT)

Satire comes in many different forms; it can be as simple as a small jab at a politician in the cartoons section of the Sunday paper or as complex as an entire book devoted to exposing the irony of a social system. But, whatever the platform, satire is meant to shed light on subjects that need to be addressed.

In the words of the head editor of the famous satirical magazine, Char-lie Hebdo, “...humour is a tool, not a goal in itself.” Satire is an extremely effective way of making complex political topics palatable and interesting for all audiences. While it should not be the basis for a person’s political views and information, the exaggeration or other artistic devices used to shock an individual and allow that person to see the subject in a new light, sparks interest in the subject and gets them thinking about, if not involved with, what’s going on in the world around them.

In a recent skit on the comedic television show Saturday Night Live, people like neo-nazis and KKK members supported Republican Presidential can-didate Donald Trump in the form of a faux-campaign commercial. While the show’s writers don’t actually believe that Trump’s followers are made up of people from such socially repulsive and hateful organizations like these, it challenges those who do pledge their support to Trump to reconsider what he stands for.

Using figures as repulsive as these to make a point may be thought of as crossing the line, but if we are not con-stantly pushing the boundaries of what is considered ‘acceptable’ or not, in the pursuit of morality and justice, then we are regressing. We become too comfort-able with not speaking out for what we believe and with avoiding pressing issues because they are difficult or have the potential to reflect badly upon us if we make a stand.

There should be a degree of social awareness in our actions and words, but we must also realize the importance of challenging anything that could be harmful to our community. Satire is an extremely effective tool for democratiza-tion because it allows complex social is-sues to be easily attainable for laypeople as well as making people interested and

involved in what is going on in the world and within their own political systems, helping to foster true participation from all.

One hazard of satire, though, is that it may be interpreted as truth. In one incident of this, a man named Fred Phelps posted the satirical article from The Onion magazine entitled “98-Homosexual Recruitment Drive Near Goal” on the Westboro Baptist Church website in 1998 and saying that it was proof that homosexuals were actively trying to recruit oth-ers to become gay, although the writers of The Onion were attempting to show the ridiculousness of the very idea and instead trying to promote acceptance.

While problems may come from the use of satire, we must realize how effective the medium is in producing change and awareness in our com-munity and in those all over the world.

OPINION 39

t h e G L O O BAmerica’s Finest News Source

by PHOEBE YAOopinion section editor

A N T I - S A T I R ESatire.Persecution.Where does one end and the other begin?Traditionally used by enlightened scholars to criticize the stupidity of

contemporary politics and expose mankind’s various injustices, modern day satire blurs the line between healthy social progress and toxic politi-cal incorrectness. Here are the reasons why satire in journalism can no longer be tolerated.

Number one: Comfort.Many have fought and labored for society’s present levels of tolerance

and open-minded sensitivity. From fighting Oberlin kitchen’s cultural appropriation to signing petitions repealing the first amendment, there is no injustice that enlightened activists, especially those on university campuses, have not dealt with.

With all the social change, however, one goal remains clear: keeping feelings intact. As individuals of an extremely fragile and emotionally off-balance race, it is our responsibility to make sure even the most weak-minded in society are made comfortable.

Coddling, at this point, is not only important to mental health. It is essential.

Thus, when satire brings reality to perspective, the only fail-safe way to keep feelings secure is to shut the critics down.

Number two: Triggers.Satirical articles are full of trigger words. These are words such as con-

troversial, critical and humorous. With today’s wide-range of emotionally straining topics, there is absolutely no room in conversation for any high-strung diction. Even well intentioned criticism comes off as negative, ac-cusatory, and mean. Thus, satire essentially victimizes readers by “telling it like it is.” Instead of promoting dark truths, journalism should aim to pacify. As exemplified by the perceived anti-Christian Starbucks Coffee cup, even the smallest technicality may have debilitating consequences.

Number three: Opinion.Individuality is the key to civilized society. America’s loving and digni-

fied culture, for instance, would be unfeasible without the millions of di-verse viewpoints living alongside each other from the north to the south. Everyone here is a special snowflake and, accordingly, everyone deserves to have their opinions heard. However, those whose opinions go against status quo, are too strong, or conflict with the multifarious perspectives of the collective nation end up doing more harm than good. Take, for example, Yale’s halloween costume controversy. After College Associate Master Erika Christakis sent a critical email calling for freedom of expres-sion over the university’s vindication of offensive halloween costumes, over 700 students and faculty signed a petition for her resignation. In daring to express her counter perspective, Christakis lit the fuse to mas-sive campus-wide turmoil. Individuality must be respected. If civilization

Cover of French satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo before the 2015 attacks on the offices.

is to be sustained, the raw, cutting opinions of satire must be eliminated.Social enlightenment is a slow and arduous process. Satire’s radical

message of reform not only confuses the gullible, but reinforces a pat-tern of destructive pessimism. Humanity is simply not ready for reading between such fine lines. After all, there are still many fundamental issues to address. For one, let’s go get some real Chinese food.

NOTESANDnews

WHAT YOU MISSED

Student Does Not Complete Optional Assignment

On Wednesday evening, junior Hugo Hoff-man decided not to complete a homework as-signment that was not collected.

“I was tired and I didn’t really want to do the work, so I didn’t do it,” Hoffman said.

Authorities are looking further into the in-vestigation.

After an overwhelmingly positive response to CHS Athletics’ no-cut policy, the school has de-cided to expand the policy to teachers’ hair. Only one week into the new policy, English teacher Ben Murphy shaved his head, stating that it is his duty not to obey an unjust law. The future of the policy remains unclear at this point.

No-Cut Policy Expanded

Student Runs into Teacher at Grocery StoreThis past week, new groundbreaking evidence was discovered suggesting that

teachers do indeed have lives outside of school. While doing his regular shopping Thursday evening, junior Ben Schneider spotted math teacher Kurt Kleinberg in the produce section at Schnucks.

“As soon as I walked towards the bananas, I was struck by the glare from his head,” Schneider said.

Public officials have yet to confirm what Kleinberg was doing at the supermarket, as Kleinberg’s claims that he was “buying food so I can eat” are largely unverified.

by HARRY RUBINcopy editor

Longtime Teacher RetiresAfter a long, illustrious career at CHS, Activi-

ties Director James Gladstone finally decided to call it quits. In his many decades of dedication to the school, Gladstone touched the lives of gen-erations of students and teachers.

“The time he spent here will be forever known as the Gladstone Era,” principal Dan Gutchewsky said at Gladstone’s retirement ceremony.

Thanks for everything, James. You will be missed!

CHS Tops List ‘Worst Places to Work in 2016’Not surprisingly, CHS was named one of the worst workplaces in America for a

record 17th consecutive year.“What the hell am I still doing here?” longtime CHS teacher Richard Horas ques-

tioned after hearing the news of the listing. “I’ve never enjoyed it here. I hate every single student that walks in the door.”

Many of the employees of CHS expressed similar disdain, with many complain-ing about the unsanitary working conditions and less than ideal clientele.

Unfortunately, the Gloob was unable to photograph Kleinberg at Schnucks. Luckily we were able to find this picture of Kleinberg in our archives. (Doug Duran/Contra Costa Times/MCT)

Student Denied Faculty Bathroom Access

Junior Max Steinbaum, who identifies as fac-ulty, has begun protesting his barring from using the faculty bathroom facilities.

“I was born a CHS faculty member and am simply stuck in the body of a student,” Steinbaum said.

The CHS SFA (student-faculty alliance) has is-sued a statement supporting Steinbaum saying that trans-faculty rights are a “major issue in to-day’s world.”

THE GLOOBWELCOME TO...

a work of satire by the Globe staff.

GLOOB 41

REVIEW: FORT TACOTucked away in a modest abode is the home of some of St. Louis’ most

satiating and salubrious chicano style tapas. Located on the “silk road” of St. Louis cuisine (Manchester Boulevard, home of the famous King Doh), Fort Taco serves as an invigorating breath of fresh air in the sward of “au-thentic” mexican cookery which has began to transpire in the metro area.

Surrounded by a concrete moat, the appellation “fort” suits the en-terprise’s frontage. Situated between AFC Enterprise’s Popeye’s Chicken and fast food legend Troy Smith’s Sonic, the Fort stands for more than an extrication of the pangs of hunger, but as a testimony to the ameliora-tion of the previously regressing tenet of Central American cuisine in the Saint Louis area.

Pulling into the fort’s conduit I instantly felt rapt by it’s foreign, yet manumitting corona. The particular period in which I stopped in was a blustery night, unformidable marrow-chilling winds bit at my face as I

unbolted my window to vociferate an order of the “Chili Verde and Chi-potle Puffer Meal Combo” to a laborer. I listened to a tousled voice as frozen words broke through the cold, howling wind, reciting my order. The warm, tropical locutions were not meant for such an unforgiving, raw and frigid domain. I peregrinated to the next window, pressing onward through the rime collecting on my windshield. I sat in my car, looking into the glowing windows of the fort in anticipation for the kind voice which spoke to me earlier to grant me my meal. Then, in a numinous dawn, the congenial face of a young woman greeted me. The baleful cold seemed to dissolve around her comely visage. I reached for the grasp of the prepossessing figure, surrounded by an aureole of gold light, as she reached back for me, Chipotle Puffer Meal Combo in hand. Parked in the lot of the phantasmagoric edifice I warmed my body with the nurturing sustenance and the images of the young lass.

Flakes of snow guided themselves down from the black sky outside of Affton Ice Rink on Dec. 12, 2015 after the Clayton Greyhounds took the ice against the Ladue Rams in a rivalry that dates back long before Sam Harned decided to become the next great American author. However, the brightness came from the loving and caring nature of students from two schools who put aside their differences and united as one.

As the students poured out of the exits, many came together in em-brace, thanking one another for their tremendous sportsmanship. Tears were shed; however, complimentary handkerchiefs were provided. A few Ladue students even ganged up on one CHS student walking back to his car, lovingly pegging him with compliments. Some might feel it immoral to gang up on a fellow high schooler like this but “morality shmorality” as the motto of many benevolent, passionate Ram fans goes.

Many eyes were glazed over and bloodshot, much like mine after my cousin Jane was married, as students filed out of the tear-soaked parking lot. Numbers were exchanged and a reunion was planned later that night at none other than CHS’s infamous mulch pile.

At approximately 10:32 PM, the two sides converged in a clash of sav-agery and primitivism to build a community garden that would shine like a scintillating star in the otherwise desolate purgatory we call the mulch

pile. Many were bystanders in the beginning of the development of an intense bond between two schools that once despised one another. Shal-low holes were dug as a joyous chant rang out: “F-U, F-U-N T-I-M-E, THIS IS *clap* *clap* *clap* A FUN TIME *clap* *clap* *clap*.” Both schools then joined in the only chant CHS will ever know: C-L, C-L-A: led by, of course, the most-spirited superlative winner Jeremy Schuver (Go Hounds).

Senior Andreas Petermann stood by, leaning half of his weight on the handle of a shovel, and, in a futile attempt to wipe sweat from his glis-tening brow, left a perfect streak of dirt, weaving and fading as it found its way across his forehead like a kayak weaving through the unforgiving rapids of the Colorado River. He spoke in the voice of an angel and with every word a jawline that could cut glass rises and falls like the sun just west of the snow-capped Himalayas. “This is fun,” he said.

The seeds were abundant. However, as the students stared longingly at the garden they created, no growth was anywhere to be seen. Just as the tears began to once again well up, a solution was presented by a par-ticularly tall and fit Ladue Ram. He inserted a vial into one of the plants and it immediately sprung to life. Later he was overheard stating it was something of a growth elixir of hormone.

by BRIAN GATTERsports section editor

SEEDS OF CHANGE

by LUCAS HOFFMANreporter

(Gina Ferazzi/Los Angeles Times/TNS)

On Wednesday, Feb. 24, 2016, students in the Clayton School District did not attend school.

Following an automated phone call recorded by Chief Communica-tions Director for the Clayton School District Chris Tennill, and the ad-dition of an intrusive pop-up message on the webpages of the District, students were freed from their obligation to go to school.

In previous years, the Clayton School District has been known to resist calling off school, even when seemingly every other district has canceled classes.

“I remember a day last winter when there was a particularly bad snow,” a junior girl said. “My mom refused to drive me to school because of the bad road conditions. I spent the next two weeks in after-school deten-tion.”

The girl’s mother declined to comment.To students’ surprise, the 2015-2016 school year has brought an on-

slaught of unforeseen snow days. Feb. 24 was the second day of cancel-lation due to inclement weather the District experienced during third quarter alone.

The sudden rise in snow days, however, connects suspiciously with Sean Doherty’s inaugural semester as interim superintendent of the Clay-ton School District.

“I generally advise students against confusing correlation with causa-tion,” CHS Psychology teacher Dave Aiello said. “However, this is too coin-cidental to be ignored. Doherty takes over, and suddenly school is getting called off left and right. For a school as academic and rigorous as Clayton, it’s uncharacteristic.”

Other teachers around CHS have similarly noticed the immense amount of time students have had off.

“I noticed my students looking extra perky and well-rested following the snow day,” Michael Rust, CHS math teacher, said. “If this is what can-celing classes looks like, I cannot support it. A tired student, to me, rep-resents a hardworking student who sacrificed sleep to get my homework done. Too many smiles means I’m doing something wrong.”

Luckily, Rust has found a way to combat this problem.“Generally, as soon as I get the call about school being canceled, I shoot

my students an email,” Rust said. “I assign two to three chapters of text-book reading and fifty to one hundred math problems to get done for the next day. I’ve also fallen into the habit of giving a pop quiz upon the stu-dents return. I want to show the students that even if Doherty or Tennill want to cut them a break, I don’t.”

Lately, fear of Doherty’s removal as a result of the lax academic atmo-sphere around CHS has begun to surface.

“I’m not going to lie, I don’t think Doherty is in it for the long haul,” Aiello said. “We all know [Sharmon] Wilkinson really pushed the students intellectually. I’m beginning to question whether Doherty’s motive is the same.”

However, Doherty believes that his actions have been valid.“Chris [Tennill] and I think long and hard before calling off school.

We always make the decision based off of the safety of the students com-muting to and within our District,” Doherty said. “It’s surprising to me that people would question my longevity in this position when I’m simply looking out for the wellbeing of the kids. Nevertheless, I wouldn’t say that Sharmon approves of my actions.”

by KEVIN ROSENTHALsenior managing editor

An emerging craze is sweeping the students of CHS. Fueled by natural passion, CHS students have been cutting class during the day in order to sprawl themselves on the local Shaw Park mulch pile to read such works as Walt Whitman’s masterpiece, “Leaves of Grass.”

This mulch pile was first brought into the Clayton spotlight in the autumn of 2015 when Clayton’s Drug and Alcohol Task Force reported concern over students skipping class to smoke marijuana atop the mulch. However, actively refuting this accusation was a CHS senior “mulcher.”

“I’ve been sporadically partaking in Whitman on the mulch for the past year. In all my mulch sessions, I’ve never once seen a person commit a deed anywhere in the realm of being illegal,” the CHS senior said.

Another slaphappy CHS student asserted the good intentions of the mulchers.

“We’re all just lovers of Uncle Walt trying to personally forge our tran-scendent paths while taking the time to be in communion with nature, man,” a CHS junior said. “And what better way to do that than returning to the soil which essentially birthed us all: our brethren-- the mulch.”

While the Clayton students’ claims of their mulchy endeavors being “not illegal” are clearly justified, a problem still arises for many teachers in dealing with the decision made by their students to skip class. Conversely, there are certain teachers who have not only reconciled their students’ choice to cut class, but also are vocally in support of this decision. Sue Teson, esteemed Honors American Literature teacher and guru, inspired the love of many young scholars toward Whitman and allows for students to skip her class, under certain conditions.

“It would be completely disingenuous if, after teaching my studentsabout Whitman’s splendor, I were to deny them the right to exercise their newborn infatuation with Uncle Walt,” Teson said. “However, this does not mean my students are completely off the hook. While I do allow stu-dents to skip class to go read ‘Leaves of Grass’ on the mulch pile, they are only permitted to do so if they promise to bring me back a single blade of grass they find during their journey along with a poem they write while splayed across the mulch.”

After reading the poetry of her students living the mulch life, Teson realized the profound effect the clump of dirt has upon her students.

“Something about that mulch pile ignited a new world within many of my scholars,” Teson said. “I realized that by holding English confer-ences on the mulch with interested students, the real passion and truth of my scholars has an opportunity to... spring forth. Thus, on the top of my most recent conference sign-up sheet, I selected a passage from Whit-man’s poem in ‘Leaves of Grass,’ ‘Song of Myself,’ and changed the word ‘grass’ to ‘mulch,’ summoning my students to conference with me on the pile of mulch.”

Teson wrote on the conference sheet: “I believe in you my soul . . . the other I am must not abase itself to you, And you must not be abased to the other. Loafe with me on the mulch . . .”

An astounding 18 students indicated on the conference sheet their desire to loafe with Teson on the mulch, joining the already mystical con-glomerate of Whitmanite Clayton mulchers.

by ALEX BERNARDeditor-in-chief

LEAVES OF MULCH

GLOOB 42

SNOW DAYS

Ever since he was an embryo, Tong Zhao had dreamed of becoming one of the strongest competitors in the world of high school math com-petitions.

At the age of four days and 20 hours, Tong was discovered by math scouts who recognized that he had the perfect body shape for a math competitor and, through years of training, could recognize his potential. Instead of attending normal day care, Zhao was enrolled in an intensive mathlete training program.

To get his body into the best shape possible for competitive arithme-tic, Zhao spent 420 weeks eating a diet of nothing but minute rice, math textbooks and Diet 7 Up. Matched with a personal mathematical trainer, Zhao would spend 19 mornings a week pushing his body to the math-ematical limit.

For Zhao, the limit did not exist. He lifted finger weights to improve his speed typing with a calculator. To improve his brain capacity, he was forced to spend hours on end memorizing and reciting the entire Koran, with additional workouts such as typing the entire novel “Devta” by Mo-hiuddin Nawab onto a TI-Nspire. To prepare himself for math competi-tions, Zhao reportedly consumed 400 tonnes and 20 ounces of boxed math textbooks, followed up with a whopping 420 gallons of 24 hour energy. After math competitions, Zhao often immerses his head in an ice bath to soothe his fatigued and overheated brain.

All of Zhao’s training has paid off as he has grown into one of the most feared and respected competitors in the Missouri Math League.

MATHLETE PROFILE

photo by Ella Engel by ELISE YANG and HARRY RUBIN

GLOOB 43

Zhao’s coach, Kurt Kleinberg knows he really has something special in Zhao. “When I received the scores of Tong’s AMC test, I cried because it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, and that really says some-thing because I see myself every single time I look in the mirror and don’t bat an eye.”

Unbeknownst to others, Zhao has a genetic advantage in competi-tions. “I come from a long line of mathetes,” Zhao said. “My dad was the mathlete star of his high school, and so was his father. I guess you could say that math runs in my arteries.”

During his free periods, Zhao is often found in CHS exclusively with other “algebros,” such as the Chens, to discuss optimal dieting and condi-tioning techniques. He also devotes his free time to doing homework so that he can concentrate on training for math competitions while at home.

Zhao considers himself a two-subject mathlete, as not only does Zhao excel in math, but in science as well. “I’ve pretty much won life at this point,” Zhao said.

Unfortunately, many would disagree. Sophomore Charles Brennan, one of Zhao’s competitors (though it is not much of a competition) re-vealed that outside of the math world, Zhao is about as well rounded as a figure with infinite eccentricity.

“Tong is just a walking calculator,” Brennan said. “If he ever left the comfort of a math classroom to walk out into the real world, he would most likely keel over and perish.”

THE TONG ZHAO ANOMALYsection editorcopy editor

GLOOB 44

In 2015, a young man in Russia died after plummeting nine stories to his death. The 17-year-old was taking a selfie off the roof of a building, using a rope for support. When the rope gave, the selfie was the least of his problems. He died in a hospital hours later; his death became one of the many due to taking selfies.

In Russia it is common for people, especially teens, to take extreme selfies. To them, the risk is worth the reward. In America, the culture is a bit different. Although we tend to be more cautious with our selfies, we still have incidents where people are killed by trains or shoot them-selves accidentally while posing for a snapshot. The question that comes to mind is why? Why risk your life for one photo, and one that is most likely going to be forgotten?

The answer may simply be for attention. The satisfaction of claiming artificial popularity is enough to drive many to their deaths. But do these people never think of what would happen if they died? The pain their premature deaths would cause to those around them? In the selfie case, risking one’s life would not be fair to others. Although a picture may be worth a thousand words, it surely is not worth a life.

Imagine the advice the Russian teen who fell off the nine foot story building would give you if he could resurrect. It is doubtful he would choose to pursue such a photo if he knew he could get a perfectly safe and viable photo standing on the roof.

Now don’t get me wrong, taking a selfie is not a bad thing. It is a fun, quick way to share a meaningful moment with others through social me-dia. Some selfies could even be considered art.

However, we as a society need to take precautions. Teens have a re-sponsibility to show those younger than them the appropriate occasions and settings to take photos. For example, taking a selfie by a train: prob-ably not the safest idea. One moment you’re feeling great, and the next you are decapitated.

We simply need to take the consequences of our actions into account before we choose to take a photo. No life is worth a photo, no matter how much attention it may receive. We are human beings -- complex creatures that have so much to offer. Don’t let one careless mistake take it all away.

After years of passing off as “smart,” the touch-sensitive projector screens that have indoctrinated themselves into every room of CHS may not be all they claim to be.

It is true that in recent years, the idea of multiple intelligences has gained traction, but these so-called smart boards seem to have a similar level of intelligence to a two-year-old child who has suffered a minimum of six concussions and has been sustained entirely on a diet of Mountain Dew and non-dairy coffee creamer.

In our own naivety, we assumed that the SmartBoards had basic-level intelligence, so we began by testing their proficiency in the performing of complex tasks. The results were astounding. Not only were the Smart-Boards unable to point out the flaws in Anselm’s ontological proof for

DUMB AS A BOARD

THE EXTREME SELFIE by DIMITRI BALDAUF section copy editor

by HARRY RUBINcopy editor

(Mark Boster/Los Angeles Times/TNS)

God’s existence, but they also agreed with Einstein’s argument against a probabilistic universe, clearly a flawed argument.

With our expectations now lower than the morale of the Greyhound football team after their embarrassing loss to Riverview Gardens, we set out to see exactly how dumb this overpriced teaching tool actually was.

We gave the board a series of tests designed to gauge intelligence, and the results shocked us. The SmartBoard failed to recognize its own name when spoken to and could not comprehend such basic commands as “heel.”

These findings come at a pivotal time for SmartBoards, as the “ev-ery board is smart in its own way” movement gains traction. Now more than ever, there is a push to rename SmartBoards “Multiple Intelligence Boards.”

(Mark Boster/Los Angeles Times/TNS)

ANDREASPETERMANN

FOR BOARD OF EDUCATIONLet’s make CHS beautiful again!

NOT TOO MUCH EXPERIENCE YET

NO LONGER A

KUMON INSTRUCTORPROBABLY WILL LATER HAVE A

PHD

HIS MOM

TEACHES GERMAN

HIS GIRLFRIEND IS a

GLOBE EDITOR

HIS COUSIN MET

THE PRESIDENT

April ObituariesSAINT LOUIS -- Rex Rice passed away peacefully in his sleep on Friday, March 11 at the age of 58 due to complications from his injuries following a physics accident. As he demonstrated conservation of mo-mentum in non-elas-

tic collisions, Rex was thrown 60 yards onto the CHS parking lot after being struck by his own truck, driven by one of his Honors Freshman Physics students. He was born on July 4, 1776 and raised in New Mexico, the child of White and Fried Rice. Growing up he was a member of his high school bowling club and competitive unit conversion team. He loved physics and not much else. He was well known among his peers for his unique style of dress and eating habits of formerly consuming Jack in the Box daily. He will be greatly missed by his friends and family, including his brother Brown Rice of Albuquer-que, NM and his current students who are more than happy to be spending the rest of the year with a substitute teacher.

SAINT LOUIS -- Ben Murphy passed away on Friday, March 11 at the age of 37, due to mal-nutrition arising from his refusal to eat food in prison. Originally sent to prison for refusing to be evicted from CHS after it was discovered that he lived there on Sundays,

Ben continued his peaceful protest against ev-erything in prison, preferring not to do any-thing. His birth details are not known, as any records of Ben’s life were destroyed by himself in an attempt to hide his personal life from his students. Growing up he was a member of his high school Italian club and beard-growing team. He loved literature, especially the works of Walt Whitman and his student Nicholas Jar-vis. He was he was well known among his peers for his quiet demeanor, distinct mannerisms such as a beating of the fist on a table when-ever the word “Bartleby” is spoken, unparal-leled fashion sense (2-time defending CHS’ Best Dressed) and piercing hazel eyes. He will be greatly missed by his friends and family includ-ing Julie, and his three professional fisherman friends. A vigil will be held by the Trancenden-tal Club founders.

Rexford Phillip RiceTeacher, formerly of Clayton; 58

Benjamin Patrick MurphyTeacher, formerly of Clayton; 37

S PHIeTHINGS

LOVESIt’s also comforting to know that men will always be above me

in the workplace. If I ever have any questions, I can guarantee that there will be a man who knows what he’s talking about readily available to help me with any problem, big or small. I’ll never need to rely solely on my own knowledge and skills to complete a task.

Men have made their way to the top of the food chain because they are good at what they do. Their level-headedness and lack of monthly period hormones make them the perfect leaders. It’s nice to know that my boss will always think about a problem objective-ly, leaving his emotions out of it. Things can get messy if feelings get involved.

It can be upsetting to think about the fact that I’m getting paid 22 percent less than my male counterparts, but I just have to remind myself that the system exists for a reason: because it works. Why else would things have remained roughly the same for females in the workplace since the 1990s?

Clearly the men in charge know what they’re doing. Of course, I can’t be expected to fully understand any problem that may exist regarding the “wage gap.” I’m only a woman. I’m so lucky I don’t have to worry about stuff like that.

One thing I can’t stand is uncertainty. When dealing with a prob-lem, I like to know that there is a clear answer and I try my best to gather advice and information from my parents, teachers and peers, to hopefully arrive at that clear answer as soon as possible.

My dad said that if I was a superhero, my name would be “Ex-actica,” concerned only with correctness of grammar, attitude and posture. As much as I hate to warrant his “dad jokes” with any valid-ity, he’s probably right. I just can’t deal with things if they aren’t as “right” as possible.

That’s why I’m so glad that I’m heading off to college knowing ex-actly where I fit in society. The lines have been defined so much so that even I can’t find any disparity.

I take comfort in knowing that I will always be paid exactly 78 percent of what my male counterparts are paid. That’s such an exact number. How could anyone ask for anything more precise? 78 per-cent. So easy to remember.

Nationwide, this holds true. Occasionally there is some wavering among different professions in different parts of the country, but I can expect that in almost any of them, over the course of my whole career, I’ll stay close to that 78 percent.

a column by SOPHIE ALLEN, opinion section editor

SAINT LOUIS -- Dr. Rebecca Taylor passed away on Fri-day, March 11 at the age of 27 due to suffocation after be-ing trapped under a 2-ton pile of cats. She was born on Jan. 1, 2003 and raised in

the jungle by a family of apes. Growing up, she was the captain of both her high school football and math teams before dropping out of school to pursue a career as a window-washer. She loved books, cats, trees, teaching, fish tanks, bricklayers, washer-dryer combos and throw-ing ice cubes at squirrels. She was well known among her peers for her devil-may-care attitude and her legendary status in the halls of CHS. She will be greatly missed by her friends, family and cats, but most of all her former students.

Rebecca “Doctor” TaylorTeacher, formerly of Clayton; 27

As presidential primaries approach and pass, it’s debate season. Do you think you could hold your own against the contenders in this election in a debate? 1.) What will be the first action you take if you get elected president of the Unites States?

a.) Repeal Obamacareb.) Peel a banana with carec.) Rollerblade in the Lincoln bedroomd.) Put my name across the white house in 50 foot, giant, flashing letters.

3.) Should you not win the primary, who would you support in the general election?

a.) Marco Rubiob.) Marco Poloc.) Donald Trumpd.) Donald Ducke.) Ted Cruzf.) A guy I met on a cruise

4.) Donald Trump picks you as his running mate. What is his nickname?

a.) The Donaldb.) The Trumpsterc.) Crumpetd.) Angry Beakere.) Used Q-Tip

5.) Which book most influenced your political views?

a.) The Bibleb.) The Very Hungry Caterpillarc.) The Fountainheadd.) Twilight: New Moon

2.) Who would you appoint to the Supreme Court?

a.) Judge Judyb.) The Judge from Night Courtc.) Jude Lawd.) Maria Sharapova

6.) What will you do to “make America great again”?

a.) Make French Toast, just Toastb.) Build a wallc.) Free ponies for everyoned.) Implement nationwide dress code

7) What is your plan for education reform?a.) Eliminate the Department of Educationb.) Give everyone a book and a stick to draw in the mudc.) Outsource education to the Chinesed.) School of Fishe.) Just send everyone to Electoral college...dah

8.) What will you do to relieve stress while on the job as POTUS? ?

a.) Crack cocaine...wait...I mean yogab.) Shopping at the national mallc.) Writing and performing original beat poetry in a smoky nightclub d.) Going to the mulch pile... I mean journaling e.) Long luxurious bubble bathsf.) Fire guns in the air like yosemite sam

9.) What qualifications do you have to be presi-dent?

a.) I attended Harvard Law Schoolb.) I got a B in Honors Freshman Physicsc.) Trump Universityd.) The Electoral College e.) I’ve seen every episode of West Wing

Do YOU have what it takes to be a Presidential Nominee?

10.) What is our country’s biggest enemy?a.) ISISb.) The Sun God Rac.) Wherever the foreign guys from Die Hard are fromd.) Mordor

4.) What is your stance on health care?a.) Repeal Obamacareb.) Band-aids are a human right. But not the waterproof ones...this isn’t Denmark. c.) Just take a tylenol and be a man.d.) None. Survival of the fittest.

congra t s ! i f you answered mos t l y a ’s , b ’s , c ’s , d ’s , e ’s o r f ’ s you have what i t t akes !

Nominate a student, teacher, coach, or friend who is making Clayton High School a better place by sending an email to

contest@redkeystlouis.com. Include your name and phone number, your nominee’s name, and a description of what good deeds

your nominee has done well.

Each month, RedKey will loan our limo (and driver) to the winner to honor the individual’s

commitment to service.

Ready, set...NOMINATE.

314-692-7200

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