bobbe sommer ph.d. fabb positive conflict resolution
TRANSCRIPT
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Bobbe Sommer Ph.D.
FABB POSITIVE CONFLICT
RESOLUTION
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Aware of one’s own existence, sensations, and thoughts and of one’s environment
Capable of thought, will, or perception Subjectively known or felt Deliberately conceived or done Having or showing self-consciousness
Let’s Get Conscious!
Conscious -
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Key People Skills
Conflict Management
The Reptilian Brain is Always on the Prowl!
Defense!Defense!!
Defense!!!
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Personality StylesEmotional Intelligence (E.Q.)
List your top 3 strengths that cause people to want to work with you:
How did you acquire these attributes?
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Key People Skills
Conflict Management
Conflict is inevitable.
Whenever 2 people come together, the seeds of conflict have been sown.
Conflict can occur when people don’t even know each other.
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Key People Skills
Conflict Management
Confront = Face-to-Face
Combat = With Arms
Confrontation is a Goooooood Thing!
Combativeness is a Baaaaaad Thing!
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4 Guidelines for Positive Confrontation:
Key People Skills
Conflict Management
1) Acknowledge, don’t argue
2) Ask clarifying questions
3) Restate what you think you heard
4) Deflect the Red Herring by using a
Show Stopper response…
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What is a Red Herring?
Statement designed to intentionally throw you off the track AND simultaneously infer that YOU probably have the problem after all!
I was only kidding!
Grrr...
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Show Stopper Verbal Responses to Deflect the Red Herring
Excuse me?Where do we differ?That very well may be.Perhaps.That’s unfortunate.Great! Then I’ll count on you for that!Would 3 o’clock or 4:30 be a better time for
us to discuss this?
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Show Stopper Action Responses to Deflect the Red Herring
Drop The Rope!
Let Your Ear Hear Your Mouth Self Correct!
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Eight Steps Eight Steps
for for
Positive Positive Confrontation:Confrontation:
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Step OneStep One
Is confrontation your Is confrontation your
BESTBEST option? option?
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Step TwoStep Two
If so, where? If so, where? Choose an Choose an appropriate appropriate
location.location.
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AlwaysAlways open with open with an “I” ownership an “I” ownership
statement.statement.
Step ThreeStep Three
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State specific observed State specific observed behavior followed with behavior followed with supposition “…which supposition “…which leads me to believe…”leads me to believe…”
Step FourStep Four
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Request specific Request specific behavior changes.behavior changes.
Step FiveStep Five
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AlwaysAlways deflect, deflect, nevernever argue with argue with the the Red HerringRed Herring..
Step SixStep Six
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Repeat step 5.Repeat step 5.
Step SevenStep Seven
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Use the bridge Use the bridge builder term “…builder term “…
ANDAND, ….”, ….”
Step EightStep Eight