August 2011 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 7/21/11 6:48 PM

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Welcome to the New Look Edition of the Costa LinkMagazine, We have decided to drag ourselves into the 21stcentury, and are really happy with the results! Other than

the front cover, nothing changes, we are still packed with the Jokes, puzzles horoscopes, gener-al entertainment and info that make us the most popular A5 Magazine on the Costa Del Sol andI hope you enjoy this edition as much as ever. It seems it holiday time again, the roads are busy,you can’t find a parking space anywhere and there’s the constant smell of sun cream in the air,did you realise how many friends you had before moving to Spain? – I didn’t! Having said that Ilove this time of year, there’s so much to see and do if you find time to relax, whether it’s a nicecool beer in the shade or a few hours lying in the sun. – That’s what August is all about! If youare in the Malaga area, don’t miss out on the Feria, from the 12th to the 21st of this month, it’sone of the best with something for everyone, including the street parties, the concerts and thebull fighting. On a serious note, ladies please see the article on page 75 with regard to breastscreening, this is an excellent and necessary service offered by Positively Pink that could saveyour life. I would love to know what you think of the new cover, drop me a line [email protected] com or tweet me @costa_link.Keep well and don’t burn!

Contact Us

Call: 663 061 669

Email:[email protected]

Website: www.costalinkmagazine.comSkype: costalink.magazine Tweet: @costa_link

Deposito Legal: MA-228-2007

Deadline Date: 18th of each month

504272 8844

88Bar & RestaurantGuideWhat’s On

GuidePuzzles

KKiiddss

SSeeccttiioonn Jokes Pages

4 to advertise in costa link magazine please call 663 061 669

Ed’s Note

No part of this publication, including layout, graphic design or pictures may be copied,SCANNED, used or reproduced without our prior written consent. Costa Link Magazine acceptsno responsibility for alterations to events listed, claims made by our advertisers or information

provided by our contributors. All rights reserved © 2011.

Everyone Loves the Costa Link!


664 073 956


6

AA WW oo mm aa nn ’’ ss WW oo rr ll ddInsutls for Men Everywhere

1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?(because they are plugged into a genius)2. WHY DON’T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?(they don’t have enough time)3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZEONE EGG? (they don’t stop to ask directions)4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIRBACKS?(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and theyvapor lock)5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?(so they won’t hump women’s legs at cocktail parties)6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?(don’t know…..it’s never happened)8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH? (because a vibrator can’t mow the lawn)9. One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt Secondsafter he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, ‘What setting do I use on thewashing machine?’‘It depends,’ I replied. ‘What does it say on your shirt?’He yelled back, ‘ Manchester City ..’And they say blondes are stupid…

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Trail separation…..Well who would have thought it justmere months ago Russell Brand and Katy Perry were over the

moon about getting married, but now it seems their nine-monthmarriage is on the rocks. After months of speculation is seemsthat Katy has finally admitted in may be the end of the road forthem. Things haven’t been looking good for Russell and Katyfor the past few months but we are really saddened to hear

this news – Katy has been saying to closed friends she’s “livinglike a single girl now”. In the last six months, it’s been calculated

that the pair have only spent four days together!?!? And if thatwasn’t enough, Russell has been seen holding hands with a blondecrewmember on the set of his new film Rock of Ages. Friend’s had

hoped the pair were putting their lives back on track when theybought a £4.1 million Hollywood mansion last month. But thehouse is just going to be a base while Katy has a month offtouring in December. Meanwhile Russell will stay in his NewYork apartment. This means the pair will be living 2,462 milesapart. Katy told her friend “We’re good together because weallow each other to do our own thing, but this situation has

become so strained, it’s not ok any more.” Katy’s close friend hassaid “she has very old-fashioned values and is devastated that her

marriage isn’t what she thought it would be”.

8

HH oo tt GG oo ss ss !!Katy & Russell’s


10

This could possibly be the scariest holiday of all time.Fresh from wowing the Yanks in the ol’ US of A, Kate Middleton’s

now got to continue the charm offensive and go on hols with hergrandparents-in-law, AKA the Queen and Prince Philip. SCARY

doesn’t even begin to cover it….The Queen has invited Kate ’n’ Wills to holiday at theirBalmoral estate in Scotland, where the royal family spendstime every year during August and September. And the mainreason for the invitation? For some quality Lizzie and Katetime. Royal author Ingrid Seward says, “This is quite an impor-

tant visit for Kate because, believe it or not, the Queen doesnot really know her very well at all. "Kate has never had an invi-

tation before to stay at Balmoral – but she is family now and theQueen wants to get to know her. It is an important visit in many ways,

not least because the Queen will want Kate to meet all the staff, but because one day shewill be responsible for them. The Queen needs to present Kate to Scotland. The time hascome.” And what better way than drinking sherry and playing Scrabble* together in a cas-tle in the highlands? More japes are expected – and a double whammy of in-laws – asPrince Charles and Camilla will also be visiting Balmoral during the summer, giving thenewlyweds a chance to dish the dirt on their recent American and Canadian trips and toexperience more of Prince Philip’s “wacky” jokes. Actually, that sounds pretty fun. Canthey extend the invitation to us too?

HH oo tt GG oo ss ss !!Scrabble anyone?


12

Two friends had gone out for a GirlsNight Out, and had been decidedlyover-enthusiastic on the cocktails.

Incredibly drunk and walking home theysuddenly realised they both needed a wee.

They were very near a graveyard and one ofthem suggested they do their business behind a

headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so shetook off her knickers, used them and threw them away. Her friend howeverwas wearing expensive underwear and didn't want to ruin it, she was luckyenough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave andproceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their wayhome.

The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband andsaid, "These girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last nightwithout her knickers." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back witha sympathy card stuck between her legs saying, “From all of guys atBromley Fire Station, Well never forgetyou!” It’s time to advertise in theIt’s time to advertise in the

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16

1) Who fronted the band“Culture Club”?

2) What does a bad workmanalways blame?

3) Which is more substantial,“Afternoon Tea” or “High Tea”?

4) In medicine what do the initialsE N T mean?

5) In which soap would you find a garage known as “The Arches”?

6) What is an “Alto Cumulus”?7) In which European country would you find

Tuscany?8) Name the busiest passenger ferry port in

England?9) What weapons are used in fencing?10) What is the German word for “one”?

11) Which golfer Jack was nicknamed “TheGolden Bear”?

12) In which Scottish City would you findSauchiehall Street?

13) Which TV personality’s catchphrase is“Awright”?

14) Which musician was known as “Satchmo”?15) Which royal was once married to Lord

Snowden?

16) What do the initials MEPstand for?

17) In children’s television, whatcreature was Otis?18) In which country would you

find the pine scented wine“Retsina”?

19) What is Mozzarella?20) In which country are Rhineland, Bavaria

and Saxony?21) Which Joan starred in “What ever happenedto Baby Jane”?22) Which part of your body does an orthodontistlook after?23) Is Sweden a Kingdom or a Republic?24) What type of plant is associated with a viti-culturist?25) Which film contains the song “Hi Ho”?26) For which country did Gavin Hastings playRugby Union?27) Which ice dance partnership performed toRavel’s Bolero?28) Which song contains the line “Feed theWorld”?

Answers on page 86

TTRRIIVVIIAA QQUUIIZZ


18

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Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his

sobbing wife. Tearfully, she explained, “It’s the pharma-

cist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone. I

had to call multiple times before he would even answer

the phone.” Immediately, the husband drove to confront

the pharmacist and demand an apology. Before he could

say more than a word or two, the chemist told him, “Now,

just a minute… listen to my side of it. This morning, the alarm

failed to go off, so I was late getting up… So I went without break-

fast and hurried out to the car, just to realise that I’d locked the house

with both house and car keys in side and had to break a window to get my keys.” “Then, driving a lit-

tle too fast, I got a speeding ticket… Later, when I was about half way to the shop, I had a flat tyre.”

“When I finally got to the shop, lots of people were waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened

and serving these people. All the time, the phone was ringing off the hook.” He continued… “Then, I

had to break a roll of 5 cent’s against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all

over the floor… So I had to get down on my hands and knees to pick up the coins, and the phone was

still ringing… When I came up I slammed my head onto the open till drawer, which made me stagger

back against a display case of perfume bottles. Half of them hit the floor and broke.” Meanwhile, the

phone is still ringing with no let up, and when I finally got back to answer it. It was your wife. She

wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer. “And

believe me Sir, as God is my witness… all I did was

tell her where to put it!”

MMAAyybbee sshhee’’ss AA blonde

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20

So a we, here are some of the funnies.....Wenis: The skin on the end of your elbow. Often con-

fused with other body parts.

Hullabaloo: commotion; a fuss:

Poppycock: Foolish talk or nonsense.

Discombobulate: To confuse or frustrate.

Scuttlebutt: A nautical term meaning rumor or gossip.

Turophile: Someone who really fancies cheese.

Boogle: Name given to a group or pack of weasels.

Nosegay: A small bunch of flowers, typically one that is sweet-scented.

Flabbergast: Surprise (someone) greatly; astonish.

Logorrhea: From the Greek "log" (word) and the Latin "orrhea" (to shoot forcefully out of

an orafice)

Hobbledehoy: An awkward, gawky youngster existing somewhere between a man and a boy.

Masticate: To chew (food) It really makes junior-high-age boys snigger when you say I

hope you masticated at least thirty times at lunch today.

Effluvium: A disagreeable smell.

Nipperkin: An old unit of volume approximately equal to 1/8 of a pint.

Cocksure: Confident in an excessive or arrogant way. Seems awfully hard to use this word

innocently these days.

Collywobbles: A feeling of fear or apprehension characterised by uneasiness in the belly.

Gobbledygook: A 20th century term used to describe nonsensical language like that used

by government bureaucrats.

Gobsmacked: utterly astonished; astounded.

Claptrap: Describes pretentious nonsense designed for the sole purpose of provoking

approval, i.e. clapping.

AARRee yyooUU ffllAAbbbbeeRRGGAAssTTeedd bbyy TThhee eennGGllIIsshh

llAAnnGGUUAAGGee??

Insurance provider Activities Day trips Translations Real estate services Gifts Couriers Virtual office Car management and registration Legal, labour and tax consultancy Accounting Mailboxes Security and alarms Graphic and web design Business cards Posters Logos Transport & limo hire Bilingual support Weddings Blessings and event management Activities and wellness products Various classes and courses Engraving of promotional items Computer maintenance

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22

Junior School Children writing about the sea

• This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles.(Kelly age 6)• Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)• If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have seaall round you, you are incontinent.(Wayne age 7)• Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not myfriend any more. (Kylie age 6)• My dad goes out in his boat, and comes back with crabs. (Emily Burniston age 5)• When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, whenthe wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said theywould be better off eating beans.(William age 7)• I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get preg-nant? (Helen age 6)• I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always screaming and being sick,my Dad keeps shouting at my Mum, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't thinkwhat to write. (Amy age 6)• Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)• When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin age 6)• Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can't go down alone, sothey have to go down on each other. (Becky age 8)• On holiday my Mum went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water shot up her lady bits. (Julie age 7).

An accident waiting to happen...

KKIIddss TThhoouugghhttss

about the sea


24

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26

AA MM aa nn ’’ ss WW oo rr ll ddA young man moved into a new apartment on his own, and went to the lobby to put

his name on his mailbox. While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment

next to the mailboxes wearing a robe. The boy smiled at the young woman and she

started a conversation with him. As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious

that she had nothing else on. The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye

contact. After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said,"Let's go to my

apartment, I hear someone coming." He followed her into her apartment; she closed the

door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely. Now nude, she purred

at him, "What would you say is my best feature?" Flustered and embarrassed, he finally

squeaked, "It's got to be your ears!" Astounded, and a little hurt she asked,"My ears?

Look at these breasts; they are full and 100% natural! I work out every day! My butt is firm

and solid! Look at my skin-no blemishes anywhere! How can you think that the best part

of my body is my ears?" Clearing his throat, he stammered,"Outside, when you said you

heard someone coming? That was me."

If Men Ruled the World When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the

match, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during half-time.

• At the end of the workday, a whistle would blow and you'd jump out your window and

slide down the tail of a brontosaurus and right into your car like Fred Flintstone.

• Police, Camera, Action would be broadcast live, and you could phone in advice to the

pursuing cops. Or to the crooks. Instead of a beer belly, you'd get beer biceps.

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GREAT NEWS as of the 1st of January 2012 DEFRA have changed their

rabies policy. It will now only be 21 days after the blood test not 6

months. Now there is absolutely NO excuse NOT to take your pets with

you when you return home.... It will become cheaper and easier to travel

abroad with pets when new rules are introduced at the start of next year.

Entry rules for pets entering the UK from the EU and listed non-EU countries:

Main point to know

All pets will still need to

have a microchip & to be

vaccinated against rabies.

Pets from the EU and listed

non-EU countries such as

the USA and Australia will

no longer need a blood test

and will only have to wait

21 days before they travel.

Pets from unlisted non-EU

countries such as India,

Brazil and South Africa will

be able to enter the UK if they meet certain strict criteria to ensure they are protected

against rabies, including a blood test and a three-month wait before they enter the UK.

www.poshpetsspain.com or Call: 952 597 035.

30

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A Nurse led service providing an innovative and holistic approach to

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The fish we use are original Garra Rufa also known as doctor fish, nibble fish or little dermatologists. Although these little Minnow size fish have no teeth, they certainly have a big impact! When you immerse your feet into the warm water these curious little dermatologists will get to work by gently nibbling the skin to rejuvenate and improve the overall health of your skin, leaving you pampered, healthy and glowing. All over the world fish spas are springing up and people are taking advantage of a totally organic pedicure. The fish will only work on unhealthy or dead skin, the healthy skin is left untouched.

fish pedicure prices10 minutes - 10€20 minutes - 15€30 minutes - 20€

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The masticatory system is not just for

chewing. An essential function of the

masticatory system is stess management.

Especially at night but also during the day

people react to stress by grinding and

clenching of their teeth. When grinding and

clenching enormous forces are released (up to

200 kg of pressure have been measured). These

forces not only affect the teeth by grinding down

the outer surfaces but also cause teeth to become

loose. This can also affects the muscles of the jaws, the

neck and the back.

The following symptoms could come from an ill fitting bite and grinding & clenching:

• Facial Pain

• Headache and Migraine

• Neck- ,shoulder- and back pain

• Ringing in the ears, tinnitus and vertigo

What could be done?

A specialised dental surgeon has to examine the correlation of your jaws and your

bite, to see how your teeth meet. Your bite has to conform to a specific pattern. If

the nerve that controls the muscles of mastication shows that only the lower front

teeth are in contact, it lowers the power of the masticatory muscles. That is what

controls the power we need to bite an apple or to eat a piece of bread. With a

correct bite high forces of clenching and grinding can not be developed.

So if your grinding and clenching is triggered by a false bite a specialist can make

the necessary adjustments to the biting surfaces of your teeth.

If your daily stress (work, children, relationships) has triggered a grinding and

clenching habit, the specialist would be able to put a splint

with a front jig over your teeth to calm down and relax the

masticatory muscles and the adjacent muscles of the neck

and back.

Dr Gerhard Steinruck a Preferred Partner of “medilink”

is a odontologist and Dental Surgeon specialising in

cosmentic dentistry and dental implants . For more

information on Dr Gerhard Steinruck or any of our other

Preferred Partners call “medilink” on 952 93 38 76

MMeeddiiccaall TTiippssAn Incorrect

BiteCauses Pain

34


Are you fed up with trying to locate good, reliable and accurate information,unsure who to turn to when it comesto health and health related issueshere on the Costa del Sol...

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My name is Bill. Let me relate how I handled thesituation with my wife, Bonnie…

When I retired a few months ago, it becamenecessary for Bonnie to get a full-time jobalong with her part-time job, both for extraincome and for the health benefits that weneeded. Shortly after she started working,

I noticed she was beginning to show herage. I usually get home from the golf club

about the same time she gets home from work.Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost

always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don’t yell ather. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table.I generally have lunch in the Men’s Grill at the club, so eating out is out of the question… I’m ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door. She used to do thedishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it’s not unusual for them to sit on the tablefor several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her severaltimes each evening that they won’t clean themselves… I know she really appreciates this,as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.

Another symptom of her aging is complaining… For example, she will say thatit is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But,boys, we take ‘em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her tostretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won’t have to rush so much… I alsoremind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn’t hurt her any (if youknow what I mean)… I like to think tact is one of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She hasto take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard. I try not to make ascene. I’m a fair man. I tell her to fix her self a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezedlemonade and just sit for awhile… And, as long as she is making one for herself, shemay as well make one for me too.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Bonnie… I’m notsaying that showing this much consideration is easy.Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better thanI do how frustrating women get as they get older.

However, guys, even if you just use a just a little more tact and a little less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it waswell worthwhile… After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.

Signed, Bill

EDITOR’S NOTEBill died suddenly on November 8, 2007 of a perforated rectum.The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golfclub jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing and a sledge hammer layingnearby.His wife, Bonnie was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman jury took only 15 minutesto find her Not Guilty, accepting her defense that Bill somehow, without looking, accidentally satdown on his own golf club.

36

AA TTrraaggiicc rreettiirreemmeennttstory


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86

---

Central number for Fire,

Police & Ambulance 112

National Police 091

Local Police 092

Guardia Civil 062

dica

Emergency061

Ambulance Marbella

902 505 061

Ambulance Coin952 453 267

Marbella952 769 946

Coin

952 452 767

San Pedro952 787 700

Emergency number080

Marbella952 774 349

Estepona952 804 483Fuengirola952 461 046

British 952 352 300

Ireland 952 475 108

Denmark 952 226 373

Sweden 952 604 383

Germany 952 212 442

France 952 226 590

U.S.A 952 474 891

Marbella 952 771 442

Coin 952 822 818

Estepona 952 822 818

Fuengirola 952 467 457

San Pedro 952 785 252

Bus Stations

Marbella952 764 400

Coin952 450 366


Estepona

952 800249

For a list of complete timeswww.andalucia.com/travel/bus

Train Timetables902 240 202

Airports

Malaga952 048 844

Gibraltar956 773 026

Marbella952 761 100


La Cala de Mijas952 493 208

Fuengirola952 589 300

Estepona952 801 100

Monday - Marbella (fairground

site on east side)

Tuesday - Fuengirola (fair-

ground near Los Boliches)

Wednesday - Estepona (Avda.

Juan Carlos)

La Cala - Feria ground

Thursday - San Pedro

(Recinto Ferial)

Alhaurin el Grande - (La Fama)

Friday - Alhaurin el Grande

(Bar Aquamania)

Saturday - Coin (Calle Urbano

Pineda)

La Cala - Feria ground.

Sunday - Puerto Estepona

(Marina)

All the Cinemas listed below

show films in English as well

as Spanish. Call first to check

what is showing that week.

Marbella:Cinesur Plaza del Mar952 766 941

La Cañada902 333 231

Puerto Banus:Gran Marbella952 810 077

Coin:La Trocha951 315 039

FuengirolaCinesur Miramar902 221 622

24 hour chemist

Urb. Artola, Ctra. Cadiz

Km 194. Marbella.

Tel: 952 83 25 89

Marbella Taxis952 774 488

Mijas Costa Taxis952 476 593

12th - 21st Malaga Feria:During the feria de Malaga thecity buzzes with colour and life.

15th August: Feast ofAssumption.

30th August: Summer BankHoliday (UK)

if you would like to sponsor this page please call 663 061 66940

ocal Info

Emergency Numbers

Medical

Health Centres

Fire Brigade

Consulates

Transport

Tourist Information

Town Halls

Markets Diary Dates

Cinemas

Chemists

Taxis


Fantastic Flat for Rental

Nueva Andalucia/Puerto BanusA superb two bedroom flat in excellent order with AMAZING views over Puerto Banus and the bay of Marbella. 4th floor with lift or stair access. With wonderful uninterrupted views of La Concha mountain over Nueva Andalucia the bay of Marbella and Puerto Banus. Two bedrooms - both with en suite bathrooms including showers, one bedroom has a private terrace to the back of the property. The lounge / dining room has a large corner window which makes the most of the view and then opens up onto the terrace. Fully fitted kitchen with granite worktops. There is a covered utility area. The urbanisation has three large swimming pools and very attractive gardens. This apartment comes fully furnished (with high quality furniture, plasma TV etc) and with a parking space. Fully air-conditioned (both hot and Cold).The urbanisation is just ten minutes walk from Puerto Banus and has many ameni-ties very close by including Centro Plaza, many restaurants and shops. Only 950€ PCM (Available on a six month tenancy).

This apartment is a must see please call:

952 933 414 or 664 073 956 to make an appointment


Wednesday 3rd August: Journey around the

world Enjoy the taste of Santirini, Greece at

Santiago Del Calvario, Alhaurin, tel 952 499 057

Friday 5th August: Be entertained by Vicky

Jaye, singing the soul sounds of Aretha Franklin,

Whitney Houston and many more at El Pariaso

Country Club in Benalmara, Tel 952 883 799

Wednesday 10th August: Journey around the world

Enjoy the taste of Saint Tropez at Santiago Del Calvario,

Alhaurin, tel 952 499 057

Wednesday 10th August: Dave Lee – One third of The Rat Pack singing live at El Pariaso

Country Club in Benalmara, Tel 952 883 799

Friday 12th August: Party Night with Ricky Lavazza at El Pariaso Country Club in Benalmara

Just 30€ per head, Tel 952 883 799

Sunday 14th August: Sunday BBQ at El Pariaso Country Club in Benalmara , Relax, chill and be

entertained by Peet Rothwell’s Michael Bubble tribute only 15€ per adult and 8€ for children, Tel

952 883 799

Wedsnesday 17th August: Journey around the world Enjoy the taste of The Bahamas at


Friday 19th August: Acoustic session with Maia Project at El Pariaso Country Club in

Benalmara Tel 952 883 799

Sunday 21st August: Sunday BBQ at El Pariaso Country Club in Benalmara, be entertained by

Vicky Jaye, singing the soul sounds of Aretha Franklin, Whitney Houston and many more,Tel

952 883 799

Wedsnesday 24th August: Journey around the world Enjoy the taste of The Seychelles at


Friday 26th August: The Fantastic Sarah Howard Acoustic Session at El Pariaso Country Club

in Benalmara, only 30€ Tel 952 883 799

Sunday 28th August: Sunday BBQ at El Pariaso Country Club in Benalmara, Quincy Sax sets the

mood! Tel 952 883 799

Wedsnesday 31st August: Journey around the world Enjoy the taste of Koh Samui at Santiago

Del Calvario, Alhaurin, tel 952 499 057

Every Wednesday: Karaoke with Bazooo at Peppers, El Zoco, Calahonda.

Every Thursday: Clare Lloydy from Global FM singing live at Splash Club, Riviera, 8.00 to

10.00pm Tel 669 225 126.

Every Friday: Karaoke with Bazooo at Peppers, El Zoco, Calahonda.

Ever Friday: live singing with Mr Maphs Soulful Sounds at Splash Club, Riviera, 6.00pm to

8.00pm Tel 669 225 126

Every Saturday: Saturdays Just Got Sexy – Guest DJs and Funkalicious Pool Party, Party the

day away from 12.00pm to 10.00pm at Splash Club, Riviera, Tel 669 225 126

Every Sunday: BBQ Sunday at Splash Club call 699 225 126

Every Sunday: Sunday Roast at Peppers, all home cooked food freshly prepared by Big Dave.

Bookings advised 952 931 593 or 627 188 778.

Every Sunday: Traditional Sunday lunch at Santiago del Calvario, Alhaurin, Roast beef, Lamb

Pork, or chicken with fish and Vegetarian options available.

If you would like to list your events, days out or any else you have going

on please contact us on: 663 061 669

or email [email protected]

42

WWhhaatt’’ss OOnnGuide


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It was the final examination for an introductoryEnglish course at the local university. Like manysuch freshman courses, it was designed to weedout new students, having over 700 students in theclass! The examination was two hours long, andexam booklets were provided. The professor was

very strict and told the class that any exam that wasnot on his desk in exactly two hours would not be

accepted and the student would fail.1/2 hour into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked the professor for an exambooklet.“You`re not going to have time to finish this,” the professor stated sarcastically as hehanded the student a booklet.“Yes I will,” replied the student. He then took a seat and began writing.After two hours, the professor called for the exams, and the students filed up andhanded them in. All except the late student, who continued writing.1/2 hour later, the last student came up to the professor who was sitting at his deskpreparing for his next class. He attempted to put his exam on the stack of exam book-lets already there.“No you don`t, I`m not going to accept that. It`s late.”The student looked incredulous and angry. “Do you know WHO I am?”“No, as a matter of fact I don`t,” replied the professor with an air of sarcasm in his voice.“DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?” the student asked again.“No, and I don`t care.” replied the professor with an air of superiority.“Good,” replied the student, who quickly lifted the stack of completed exams, stuffedhis in the middle, and walked out of the room.

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Lower Back Pain: In most cases, lower back problems come from compactedor rotated lumbar vertebrae (lower back), that causes muscular contrac-

tion in the lower back and gluteus muscles. When the muscular con-tractions become acute, then it may trap the sciatic nerves that sup-ply the legs from lumbar vertebrae L2. This causes these sensorynerves to ‘fire’, causing pain down the entire leg. Though the root cause is the spine, it is the soft tissue i.e. muscles

that trap the nerve causing the sciatic pain.Releasing the soft tissues of the lower back will give relief from this

problem, and with the proper stretching will ease pressure on the interver-tebral discs, and may allow the lower spine to realign.

There are many different types of massage, ranging from the relaxing spa or salon massage, all the way up theladder to clinical therapists that you would see similarly to seeing a doctor or chiropractor.A clinical therapist should go through medical history with you, check for contraindications e.g. massageshould not be done if you suffer from very high blood pressure, do a biomechanical assessment of the body,and formulate an individual treatment for the client.It is worth remembering that the heart of the pain is not necessarily the heart of the problem! e.g. acute ten-sion in the ankle tendons can cause lower back problems.A good therapist will point you towards other clinicians e.g chiropractor, if he feels that the spine is in need ofmanual realignment.Only allow professionals trained to manipulate the spine to actually do it!!! Is just as easy to cause damage asit is to heal it! It seems that many doctors will now treat muscular problems with pain killers, anti-inflammatory drugs and cor-ticosteroid injections. Taking prescribed medication should be the ‘last port of call’, though many still regard itas the first! Here at the centre, consultations are free! If you feel that you need advice for your problem, don’t be afraid toask! May you stay in the very best of health...Mike Izon

Health & Well Being


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50

BBAARR && RREESSTTAAUURRAANNTT

Guide.....

Ingredients•1/2 oz. Vodka

•1/2 oz. White rum

•1/2 oz. 151 proof rum

•1/2 oz. Tequila

•1/2 oz. Triple sec

•1 oz. Amaretto Di Saronno®

•1 oz. Orange juice

•1 oz. Pineapple juice

•1 oz. Cranberry juice

MethodCombine all ingredients

with ice and pour into hurricane or parfait glass,garnish with orange slice

and cherry

Wiki Waki Woo


STARTERSSpring Roll, Special Salad, Chicken

and Sweetcorn/Tomato/Hot andSour Soup or Spare Ribs.

MAIN COURSEBeef with Blackbean/Oyster/Chinese

Mushroom and Bamboo/Curry or Chicken withCashew Nuts/Sweet and Sour/Curry or Prawns with

Vegetables or Sweet and Sour Fish (Hake)RICE AND NOODLES

Special House Fried Rice, Boiled Rice or Noodleswith Soya Bean Sprouts or Chips

DESSERTSCoffee, Tea, Ice Cream, Cream Caramel or Fruit

Main restaurant serving usual delicacies 6pm - 12pm

Jardin Botanico, Local 16, La Cala de Mijas.Tel: 952 599 236. Mob: 685 578 743

HONG KONGCHINESE RESTAURANT

ONLY

€6.90

La Mirage Restaurant & Spikes Bar

Lunch or Dine in style in our fabulous Restaurant overlooking the Golf Course excellent choice of menus and wines. Open every day of the year.

Live entertainment on Friday / Saturday eveningsor

Relax on the sunny terrace of Spikes Bar.Breakfasts, snacks & daily specials available from

08:00 till late every day (from 09:00 on Sunday)

Miraflores Golf ClubUrbanizacion Riviera Del Sol, Mijas Costa, 29647 Malaga

Tel (+34) 952 931 941 Email: [email protected]

Website: www.miraflores-golf.com

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bu

.miraflores-golf.comEmail: [email protected]

Urbanizacion Riviera Del Sol, Mijas Costa, 29647 Malaga

SPECIAL LUNCHTIME MENU 12PM - 4PM


RESTAURANT MIJAS PLAYAFabulous midweek menu from €20The new owner GIAN LUIGI invites midweek diners to complementary drinksbetween 6pm and 7pm.

LIVE ENTERTAINMENT 7 NIGHTS

Free Drinks

New cocktail bar & chillout terraceOpen from 1pm delicious light lunchmenu of wraps and salads.Between 1pm and 3pm only €1.50 for Wine, Small Beer, Tea, Coffee

Half Price DrinksBetween 3pm and 6pm

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Edif. El Saladito 2, BC 3,

Urb.Riviera del Sol,

29649 Mijas Costa

Tuesday To Sunday

10am to 10pm

Take Away

952 930 717

Please Order 1 Hour Before

For Our Best Service

Find Us

Behind OPEN COR Riviera

Traditional Chinese Food. Takeaway menu.

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Open 12.00-16.00 and 18.30-24.00 everyday.

Riviera Commercial. Tel: 952 931 737

Golden Sun

Traditional Italian food & grill. Fresh pasta,

wood burning pizza oven, Open every day

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All live sports and premiere league football. SixTV’s and big screen. Full menu, Sunday roast andhomemade tapas. Large sun terrace. Open 10am-

late, seven days a week. Upstairs Los Jarales, Calahonda

Harrys Sports Bar

AAddvveerrttiissee YYoouurr

BBaarr oorr RReessttaauurraanntt

HHEERREECall: 663 061 669


This page is printed upside down intentionally


Splash Club, RivieraMy wife Sarah, and I have been to Splash Club anumber of times during the day since it opened a fewmonths ago, but had never eaten there in the evening –As it was Sarah’s birthday we decided to give it a go!

We chose a table outside by the pool which was perfect for a summer’s evening.For my starter, I had the Tempura Prawns cooked in a snowflake batter, theywere beautiful – so much flavour! Sarah had an Aromatic Crispy Duck Salad –Fantastic! To follow we had Splash Sea Bass which was tow fillets cooked to perfection, and the rack of BBQ ribs which just fell off the bone and was servedwith the most delicious Chunky Chips. We were so full and could only manage toshare one dessert between us; we opted for the Mojito Cheesecake – which wasexquisite to say the least!Our Meal at Splash really made Sarah’s birthday, especially after the waiters andwaitresses produced a strawberry daiquiri with candles in it along with a chorusof “Happy Birthday”.A perfect evening in a perfect venue! Mike - RivieraSplash Club, Riviera, Can be contacted on 669 225 126

Have you been to a restaurant and would like to see a review here?Please send your review to [email protected]

RREESSTTAAUURRAANNTTReview.....

Thapa Thai

Restaurante

Dine inside in lovely surroundings or eat Al Fresco

Views over the Port and the Mediterranean

Fantastic Thai & Chinese Cuisine

2 Hours Free Parking

951 318 445Reservations:

Puerto de Portivo, Number 13, Estepona

Opening Hours12:30 - 16:3018:30 - 24:00

Thapa Thapa Thapa Thapa Thapa Thai

Thapa Thapa Thapa Thapa Thapa Thapa Thapa Thapa ThaiThaiThai

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• During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

• When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

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only to the waist level on the man lying beside her.

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• It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone to talk you down.

• The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place - noone will ever think of look-

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someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

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• When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill - just grab one at random

and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

• Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge

door and use that light instead.

• If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most reveal-

ing underwear.

• Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning even though their

husband and children never have time to eat it.

• Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames. * All telephone numbers in America begin

with the digits 555.

• A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of RFK stadium.

• Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.

• Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.

• It is not necessary to hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.

• Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the wheel vigorously

from left to right every few moments.

• It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.

• A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

• It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies

will patiently attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have

knocked out their predecessors.

• When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concus-

sion or brain damage.

• Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.

Things you would neverknow without the movies


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66

WWii ll ll lloovvee ssoonngg ss ggiivvee sshhaarrkkss bbaacckk tthhaatt lloovv iinngg ffeeee ll iinngg??Aquarium bosses are playing the sounds of Barry White and Marvyn Gaye

underwater to try and put a shark in the mood for love.

Zorro, a six-year-old zebra shark, had worn out his former tank mates

at Sea Life Belgium. Hoping he would find new love, he was shipped

to the Sea Life London Aquarium on Valentine's Day this year.

Paul Hale, curator at the aquarium hoped he would hook up with

a single shark called Mazawabee, but so far their relationship has

been strictly platonic.

To re-ignite Zorro's mojo, marine experts are trying to seduce the

sharks with seductive music, such as Marvin Gaye's Let's Get It On.

"Zorro has something of a reputation as a "ladies shark" and as

Mazawabee has been 'single' for a number of years now, we really

thought they would get together very quickly," says Paul Hale.

"But it's been months since their first introduction and although there

are certainly signs that Zorro has been making advances, we would

really have expected some serious mating by now."

"Research suggests that fish can not only hear music but can appreciate differ-

ent tunes and melodies so we have decided to see if some good old fashioned love

songs will get them in the mood!"

Strange but true...

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• The Hawaiian alphabet 13 letters, A, E, I, O, U, H,K, L, M, N, P, W, ' (which is called an okina). • Men can read smaller print than women; women canhear better. • The City with the most Rolls Royces per capita: HongKong. • Average number of days a German goes without washing hisunderwear: 7. • The youngest Pope was 11 years old. • Iceland consumes more Coca-Cola per capita than any other nation. • First novel ever written on a typewriter: "Tom Sawyer." • Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history. Spades--King David, Clubs--Alexander the Great, Hearts--Charlemagne and Diamonds--JuliusCaesar. • If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the per-son died in battle; if the horse has one leg front leg in the air, the person died as aresult of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all 4 legs on the ground, the per-son died of natural causes. • Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th. The last signa-ture wasn't added until 5 years later. • The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth 2, QE2, moves only six inches for each gallon ofdiesel that it burns. • The first airline, DELAG, was established on October 16, 1909, to carry passengersbetween German cities by Zeppelin airships. Up to November 1913, more than 34,000people had used the service. • Titanic was running at 22 knots when she hit the iceberg • The citrus soda 7-UP was created in 1929; '7' was selected because the original con-tainers were 7 ounces. 'UP' indicated the direction of the bubbles • Because radio waves travel at 186,000 miles per second and sound waves saunter at700 miles per hour, a broadcast voice can be heard sooner 13,000 miles away than itcan be heard at the back of the room in which it originated • Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito's sen-sors so they don't know your there • The bagpipe was originally made from the whole skin of a dead sheep Inventor Samuel Colt patented his revolver in 1836. • It has been recommended by dentists that a toothbrush be kept at least 6 feet (twometers) away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush! • In ancient Rome it was considered a sign of leadership to be born with a crookednose • It is possible to drown and not die. Technically the term 'drowning' refers to theprocess of taking water into the lungs, not to death caused by that process. • The first known heart medicine was discovered in an English garden. In 1799, physi-cian John Ferriar noted the effect of dried leaves of the common foxglove plant, digi-talis purpurea, on heart action. Still used in heart medications, digitalis slows thepulse and increases the force of heart contractions and the amount of blood pumpedper heartbeat.

DDIIDDYou Know.....

68


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teleweb – “Pay as you go” internetTeleweb Internet & Telephone, has been

providing wireless internet services since

2003,andinthattime,hasseenconsistent

growthandaddednewexcitingservicesto

itswellestablishedhighspeed5GHzwire-

lessinternetservice.

FLEXIBILITY: Becauseyoudonotneedalandline,youcanhaveinternetona“Payas

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Do you have a wireless

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lose?

HAVE A UK No IN SPAIN!Teleweboffersatelephone

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Telefonica landline without the wires. No

needtohaveyourcomputerontomakeand

receive calls.Choose a telephone number

fromyourhomecountryorjustelecttohave

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anywhereintheworldwiththesamelowcall

costs,youjustneedaninternetconnection.

Formore informationonanyof theabove,

please call Teleweb on 952 833 300 orEmail:info@teleweb-marbella.

teleweb internet & telephone just got better!


72

Brain Teaser

Say What You See...

Across:8. Greenish blue (4)9. Orgy (10)10. Highly seasoned fattysausage (6)11. In a similar manner (8)12. Woodworking groove (4)13. Blue collar (10)17. A narrow fissure in rock(4)18. A unit of magnetic fluxdensity (5)19. Indian music (4)20. Imperil (10)22. Musical staff symbol (4)23. Wonderful (8)27. A city in the Ukraine (6)28. Strictly obeying the law(10)29. Exploded star (4)

Puzzle It OutSolutionsSolutions

on page 86on page 86

Crossword

Down:

1. Blue Sea (10)

2. Idler (8)

3. Manage (10)

4. Cain's brother (4)

5. Twilight (4)

6. Light rain (6)

7. Circle fragments (4)

14. A fish broth (5)

15. Old form of transporta-

tion (10)

16. Belligerent (10)

19. Deserter (8)

21. Outcast (6)

24. Pitcher (4)

25. In a willing manner

(archaic) (4)

26. Large town (4)

Sudoku

I am the owner of a pet shop. If

I put in one canary per

cage, I have one bird too

many. If I put in two

canaries per cage, I

have one cage too

many. How many cages

and canaries do I have?

JOBINJOB horobod


74

Del Prado &

Partners Solicitors

Del Prado & Partners Solicitors is a law firm that

develops its activity in all of Andalucía. We have

approximately 50 professionals and are structured into

five different departments: Community Administration, Post-

Sales, Fiscal, Reception and Translation and Legal. Within this last department, we have solic-

itors specialized in each and every branch of Law.

This firm offers an integral consulting to all of our clients. Our best value is making our clients’

problems our own. Together with this, we combine tenacity with an intense preparation; this is

where a great part of our success lies.

In our Justice system, it is not only important to be right but also fundamentally it is important

that it can be proven. This is where we insist because our diplomatic work is very important in

order to obtain a friendly agreement, which is beneficial to our client or if this is not possible,

to obtain victory during the judicial procedure thanks to the best strategy and all our effort.

We can say that fundamentally this Firm has two goals: one is naturally the defence of each and

every one of our clients and the second which is probably a little more ambitious is to contribute

our grain of sand to the Administration of Justice so that Rights in the most ample sense are not

just empty words but are something that can be believed in and that will

have its repercussion in a judicial procedure.

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Please see our ad on page 77

WWhhaatt’’ssNews

Non resident property taxIf you own a property in Spain and you aren't a Spanish resident, there's an annual taxyou have to pay, based on the value of the property. Don't confuse it with IBI or yourcouncil rates, this is another tax.Some owners aren't even aware there is a tax to be paid, and others are paying their taxadvisor’s a small fortune to make the annual payment on their behalf.Now there's a solution!Taxes on Line was set up by Ben Simkins, who is British, but who has been a tax advisor in Spain since 1993. He has lived in Spain since he was nine years old, and wentthrough the Spanish education system, doing his degree at Tenerife University in TheCanary Islands.He's devised a simple solution, which uses technology to take the hassle, and thereforethe cost, out of calculating and paying your annual return. Ben's web based systemmeans you can fill in an on line form and your tax payment will then be calculated – hewill then present your payment to the tac authorities andsend you the payment receipt. The cost of the service is just€49 per property, and once you are registered with Taxes onLine, you'll receive a reminder every year, so you need neverrisk a fine for late payment.

You can find out much more, and even use the online calcu-lator to find out how much tax you need to pay atwww.spanishtaxform210.com


Positively Pink breast cancer charity based in Mijas have announceda summer campaign for 2011 providing free breast screeningexams for British women living on the Costa del Sol.Lorraine Palmer the founder of the Positively Pink believes that"Early detection is your best protection," she urges all Britishwoman over the age of 18 to take advantage of the freescreening.Last year Positively Pink funded the screening of nearly 1000British women here on the Costa del Sol, this screening helpedsave the lives of 6 women. Amazingly these tests are free, althoughPositively Pink have asked this year that all ladies receiving the servicewould make a donation of the cost of their last bra (we at Costa Link think this is a small price topay for such a fantastic service).In the UK more than 45,000 new cases of breast cancer are diagnosed each year, and it is estimated that one in nine women will suffer from breast cancer at some time in their life. Whilebreast cancer is the most common form of cancer in women, it is also one of the most treatable if detected early enough. Positively Pink, is dedicated to early detection and education of breast cancer, the screening isbeing provided in collaboration with The Hospital Group, The British Surgical Clinic and MedilinkSpain. Positively Pink and its sponsors are funding the 60,000€ budget for the scheme.Appointments are available on Tuesdays and Thursdays during the months of July, August,September and October. Please call Clinica Medicare on: 952 835 776 for more information orto book an appointment.


SPAIN - STILL A CHEAP PLACE TO LIVE

In July Mercer produced it's annual report onthe cost of living in major cities worldwide. Thereport is designed to give expats an idea of howtheir income will stretch for every day living costs.There are three main factors that effect the rankings :

1. The relative strength of weakness of the countries currency2. Average price movements/inflation within the country.3. Survey of an average 'cost of living basket' (as defined by Mercer)

In 2011 there have been no changes at the top, Luanda in Angola is still considered themost expensive city for the second year running. Tokyo is in second position, andN'Djamena in Chad comes in third place. Only three European cities remain in the top10, Moscow (4), Geneva (5) and Zurich (7). Expatriates in Spain will be pleased to knowthat Spain does not even feature in the top 50. Madrid is placed at number 60, which isdown from 52 last year, making Spain relatively cheap when compared with other majornations.

Mercer also produced a 'quality of living' index, which is officially designed to allowemployers to pay a hardship allowance to expatriate employees who may have to workin less favourable conditions. The index ranks Vienna, Zurich, and Geneva as the topcountries in the world in terms of quality of living. Interestingly, although London is considered the 18th most expensive place to live in the world, it ranks only 39th inQuality of life. Whereas in Spain, Barcelona features 44th, and Madrid 48th in quality ofliving, but with a much lower comparative cost of living (60), making Spain apparentlygood value for money.

CURRENCIESThe quality of any expats life is very much dependent on their income. This can beaffected by the currency exchange if they have income from abroad, for example UKpension schemes, or a business overseas. In July, the European Central Bank raisedinterest rates to 1.5% (from 1.25), in an attempt to cool inflation in the 17-nationEurozone. Jean-Claude Trichet, the ECB President said that inflation at 2.7%, was likelyto remain above the 2% target for some months. This had little effect on the exchangerate, as interest rate hikes are expected and priced in.

The Euro remains hostage to the EU decisions on the structure of the Greek bailout. Atpresent there are few reasons for optimism that the EU will deliver a plan that draws aline under the Euro-zone debt crisis. Increasing Euro strength is achievable if the periphery concerns fade, but there are now significant challenges even if/when themoney for Greece is found, and the market has now lost confidence in Spain and Italy,and this will take time to rebuild. The chart below shows the rise in price of credit default swap prices, which is seen asan indicator of sovereign risk concerns. The higher the figure, the more likely analystsbelieve a government will default on their interest payments. It's a graphic indication ofthe increasing concern over Europe since 2009.Spain is considered the 5th most attractive country for investors in Europe

Written by our financial expert James Alexander.If you would like fully regulated independent financial advice please

contact us – [email protected] or on 663 061 669.

FFIINNAANNCCIIAALLEconomic & Currency News...

76


With the recent release of Cars 2 andTransformers 3, we have been thinkingabout cars starring in films.

Here is a list of some of our favourites!!

Herbie is an, a character that is featured inseveral Disney motion pictures startingwith the 1968 feature film The Love Bug. Hehas a mind of his own and is capable of

driving himself, and is a serious con-tender in auto racing competitions.Herbie is distinguished by red, white andblue racing stripes differ in each movie, aracing-style number "53"

Chitty chitty bang bang was another carthat had a mind of its own. It was actuallybased upon a series of racing carsdesigned by inventor CommanderCaractacus Pott. In reality it was modifiedfrom a Mercedes chassis with a subse-quent modified six cylinder engine. Theoriginal "hero" car, in a condition

described as fully functional and road-going, was offered at auction in May 2011by a California-based auction house. Thecar sold for around 500,000 Euros

The DB5 is famous for being the first andmost recognised James Bond car, It hasbeen featured in several films, mostnotably Goldfinger, Thunderball,GoldenEye, Tomorrow Never Dies, andCasino Royale.

Bullitt contains one of the most excitingcar chases in film history, the total timeof the scene is 10 minutes and 53 sec-onds and Features Steve McQueen driv-ing a Ford Mustang 390 GT dubbed in

from a GT40

The 1967 film, The Graduate was a hugehit for Dustin Hoffman and for the AlfaRomeo Spider 1600. The car is a gradua-tion present and features in many scenes

throughout the film, finally running out ofpetrol before the excellent wedding sceneat the end of the film.

The Italian Job has one of the epic carchases in British cinema history. ThreeMini Coopers run amok in a long sequencethat takes in the crowded streets of Turin(they created unauthorised traffic jams forcinematic effect during filming), churches,a weir, those underground sewers, the roofof Turin’s Fiat building and enthralling stuntdriving into a moving lorry. The Italian Jobhas it all – And gave us the: The phrase“cliffhanger”

78

TThhee CCaarrssthe star


Golf Golf TTips And ips And TrTricksicks

Sponsored by Mark Sibley - Miraflores Golf Academy80

Comfort Is Not Always Right

Set up is without doubt 95% of your shot, the

position you set your body and club into before

you swing is what you have selected to return to

when you strike the ball and if it is incorrect you

will play a bad shot , if it remains in the wrong

position before you start your swing and you fail

to change leaving your body set out of position

every time you play a shot you will without

knowing change the way you swing to compen-

sate bringing inconsistency into your play.

The road to repair is then a long one, you must

first identify the fault in your set up and then find

the compensation you have developed in your

swing, this is where comfort becomes the

golfers biggest enemy, your incorrect set up will

feel comfortable as will the compensated swing

you are using, the correct set up will feel

uncomfortable and the correct swing awkward

and ineffective.

Lets take an incorrect grip position you have

been playing with your lower hand in a strong

position and as a result you are restricting your

club head release through impact to achieve a

square club face at contact.

1. Change your grip position sit at home grip-

ing and un-gripping your club checking the right

hand is in the correct position and getting a feel-

ing for correct and incorrect, if you are unsure of

the correct grip position go and see you local

pro invest in 30 minutes of his time and get your

grip into the correct position.

2. At this point there is every chance your old

grip position will feel comfortable so check it

each time you set up and if it is incorrect take

your hands away and start again you must

make the correct grip position the comfortable

one, fiddling with your grip each time will still

mean you still set it in the wrong position and

will not cure the problem.

3. Once the grip is in its new position then you

must correct the compensation in the swing, put

your feet together and play a bucket of balls on

the practice range concentrating on rotating

your wrists through impact to give you a square

club face as you strike the ball.

4. At the next practice session start with the

feet together exercise for half of the practice

bucket then move to a full swing still concentrat-

ing on the rotation of wrist through ball.

5. At the 3rd session work on your timing

making sure the release of the wrist is the last

thing to happen in the downswing ensuring that

your are generating power from the core of your

body and club head control from your wrist

release.

That is just an example of how to deal with a set

up fault and swing compensation that will give

you a comfortable set up position and swing

movement that are correct.

By Mark Sibley

Are YouSelling or Looking for

Used Golf Clubs then Contact

Miraflores Golf AcademyTel:- 952939937

Email:[email protected]

Golf Academy

MIRAFLORES DRIVING RANGE & GOLF

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Tel (+34) 952 931 960 – Fax (+34) 952 931 942

1st June 2011 - 15th September 2011

Limited Shares Available

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Call Sonia now on 952 93 40 95

Dine or have lunch in our fabulous

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e aflorres Golf CMirraflorel: 952 931 941 for Reservations



lues Golf CCall Sonia now on 952 93 40 95

All legal fees Unlimited golf

lubCall Sonia now on 952 93 40 95

All legal fees Unlimited golf

MUrbanizacion Riviera Del Sol, Mijas Costa, 29647 Malaga

e aflorres Golf CMirraflor

ebsite: wwwWEmail: [email protected]

el (+34) 952 93 TTel (+34) 952 931 960 – Fax (+34) 952 931 942Urbanizacion Riviera Del Sol, Mijas Costa, 29647 Malaga

lues Golf C

.miraflores-golf.comebsite: wwwEmail: [email protected]

el (+34) 952 931 960 – Fax (+34) 952 931 942Urbanizacion Riviera Del Sol, Mijas Costa, 29647 Malaga

lub

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el (+34) 952 931 960 – Fax (+34) 952 931 942Urbanizacion Riviera Del Sol, Mijas Costa, 29647 Malaga


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84

K KI ID DS S S ST TU UF FF F


These handsome fellows are Snickers

and Saxon. They are two young

cross-breed brothers. Both are male

and have a lovely temperament.

F.A.M.A is a foundation set up and funded solely by voluntary contributions to provided

an acceptable standard of life to the abandoned animals whilst in its care.

For more information, please visit our website:

www.f-a-m-a.netor contact Pat Colman on 620 354 885

FOUNDATION FOR ABANDONED AND

MISTREATED ANIMALS


86

PPuuzzzzlleeIItt OOuutt SSoolluuttiioonnssFFrroomm PPaaggeess 1166 && 7722

Just Say What You SeeIn Between Jobs

Robin Hood

Brain Teaser1.UNDergroUND

2.I have three cages and four canaries

Trivia Quiz Answers1) Boy George

2) His Tools

3) High Tea

4) Ear, Nose and Throat

5) Eastenders

6) Cloud 7) Italy 8) Dover 9) Swords

10) Ein 11) Nicklaus 12) Glasgow

13) Michael Barrymore

14) Louis Armstrong

15) Margaret

16) Member of the European Parliament

17) Aardvark

18) Greece

19) Cheese

20) Germany

21) Crawford

22) Teeth

23) Kingdom 24) Vines

25) Snow White and the 7 dwarfs

26) Scotland

27) Torvill & Dean

28) Do They Know It’s Christmas

Crossword Solution

ATTENTIONATTENTIONATTENTION

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wWindows Direct

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88

One day Mother was out and Dad was left incharge. The little daughter Daisy, only one and ahalf years old had been given little ‘tea set’ as a

gift and it was one of her favorite toys. Daddy wasin the living room engrossed in the evening newsand her brother was playing nearby in the livingroom when the sweet little girl brought Daddy a

little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After sev-eral cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummytea, Mum arrived home. The Dad made Mum wait

in the living room to watch the little girl bring hima cup of tea, because he said it was “just the

cutest thing!” Mum waited, and sure enough, thelittle toddler comes down the hall with a cup of teafor Daddy and Mum stands and watches him drinkit up. Then Mum says, “That really is very cute but

did it not occur to you that the only place thatDasiy can reach to get water is the toilet?”

0 to 200 in 6 seconds Terry was in trouble.

He forgot his wedding anniversary.

His wife was really angry with him.

She told him "Tomorrow morning,

I expect to find a gift in the

driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 sec-

onds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!"

The next morning he got up early and left

for work. When his wife woke

up, she looked out the window and sure

enough there was a box

gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran

out to the driveway, brought

the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new

bathroom scale.

Terry has been missing since Friday.

Three men were sitting together bragging about

how they had given their new wives duties.

Terry had married a woman from America, and

bragged that he had told his wife she needed to

do all the dishes and housework. He said that it

took a couple days but on the third day he came

home to a clean house and the dishes were all

washed and put away.

Jimmie had married a woman from Canada. He

bragged that he had given his wife orders that

she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and the

cooking. He told them that the first day he didn't

see any results, but the next day it was better.

By the third day, his house was clean, he dishes

were done, and he had a huge dinner on the

table.

The third man had married an IRISH girl. He

boasted that he told her that her duties were to

keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, laundry

and ironing twice a week, lawns mowed, win-

dows cleaned and hot meals on the table for

every meal.

He said the first day he didn't see anything, the

second day he didn't see anything, but by the

third day most of the swelling had gone down

and he could see a little out of his left eye, just

enough to fix himself a bite to eat, load the

dishwasher, and call a

handyman.

TThheeJJookkeessppaaggee

Bless Mum, Dad, Nanna & Grandad

and Tiddles the cat next door AMEN!


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90

Capricorn

Aquarius

Pisces

Aries

Gemini

Taurus

It's not the strongest month for decision making, Aquarius. You might be leaving it up to a part-ner or good friend to take the lead for the time being. It's a time for rethinking and reviewingrather than moving forward with new plans and initiatives. Letting others take the spotlight seemsto be your best bet. Your ruler, Uranus, is retrograding back into Pisces this month, and while sym-bolically this might point to a feeling of backtracking, it's more likely that you are looking backfor the time being, rather than pushing forward. Exciting changes are on the horizon, and this isa good period for tidying up and getting in touch with what you truly want from your life. Ifyou're interested, you'll find that it's easy to attract others to you, particularly with your uniqueopinions and personal philosophy. The urge to expand your mind through education or possiblytravel is strong, opportunities to do so seem to be falling into your lap now.

For most of August, Pisces, the focus seems to be on other important people in your life. Yourwork assumes more importance and keeps you busy. The 9th brings excellent energy for start-ing fresh on the job. Financial matters can be a little stressful this month. Some of you couldbe feeling a pinch, particularly with a partner's income or other non-income sources of money.There may be some power plays to deal with, especially around the 3rd, 16th, and 21st. Yourpassions run high, particularly around the 20th, when many of you enjoy a profound connec-tion and deepening of ties with a special someone. After this date, some reticence in a partnercould leave you feeling a little confused. A Full Moon in your sign occurs on the 24th, andemotions run high. A personal revelation can occur-something that has been brewing for sometime and that finds expression now.

Relationships are dynamic this month, Aries. The need for structure in a partnership becomesclear, especially around the 8th. The 9th brings exciting new energy for romance and cre-ativity. Make the most of this! Avoid shortcuts on the job, especially from the 20th, or youwill definitely be redoing your work. Attraction to older or more mature partners is possi-ble this month, as you reassess your relationship needs. Problems that have existed in a part-nership come to light and need immediate attention. Partnerships may be on the competi-tive side this month, get matters out in the open quickly so that you can more easily findresolution. A past love may step forward around the 20th, but don’t make any rash deci-sion’s over what they are asking at the moment. A secret is revealed or something hiddencomes to light around the 24th.

A love affair could become serious this month, Gemini. Perhaps there are ultimatums or theneed to bring more definition to your love life. Once settled, you can enjoy spending timetogether. A creative project suddenly demands attention this month. You may be thinking ofways to make a business out of a hobby or creative pastime. August should be a highly cre-ative, romantic, and playful month overall. The 20th could bring excitement in love, but alsosome hesitancy on your part. Your ruler, Mercury, turns retrograde at the same time, and yourequire more time to think things through than usual. Some problems on the home front needironing out from the 20th forward. Domestic projects that you haven't tended to diligentlycould begin to show flaws. Exciting career matters come to light on the 24th.

Much of your attention is directed towards daily activities including work, fitness, and otherroutine matters this month, Taurus. There are competitive energies on the job, but also oppor-tunities to truly smooth over differences. Love opportunities could arise through work or evenat the gym around the 20th, but there may be a reason for your hesitancy. Enjoy yourself, butsave major decisions for later. While love matters are generally strong in August, they are like-ly to give pause for review at a later date. From the 20th, a lover could be giving off mixedsignals, or a romance could appear to be at a standstill. In fact, it's a good time to release anypressure you might have on your love life and step back to take a breather. Reassess mattersand avoid a hectic pace. Home and family are also vying for your attention in August, andyou happily tend to them, although work will keep you especially busy this month.

SSTTAARR SSIIGGNNSSA look at what's in store for you during August.....

With all of the attention you are pouring into career, family, and personal matters, Capricorn, youcould feel that a partnership is wanting. However, while you can't ignore your close relationships,your attention to career is especially important right now. New responsibilities and challenges comeyour way and you need to be on top of your game. Luckily, you are enjoying the limelight andfinding that others are seeing you in a most positive, responsible, and competent light. Some ofyou could meet a love interest through business this month. Travel and educational plans mightchange unexpectedly after the 20th. Pay attention to details instead of rushing through instructions,applications, and other plans. In some cases, rethinking your plans might be in order. A flurry ofactivity around the 24th is likely, which could find you running around on errands. Try not to stressout and instead get everything back to order one step at a time.


Cancer

Leo

Virgo

Libra

Scorpio

Sagittarius

This is an especially lively month for home and family, Cancer. Competitive energies on the domestic sceneare likely. Responsibilities come to light, and the need for reorganization as well as increased structure to yourhousehold becomes apparent. Happily, you are in the mood for straightening out matters on the homefront, and it feels good to have the energy to pay more attention to this important area of your life. Familyinteractions can certainly benefit from more clarity. Job or status changes continue to loom, but a sense ofpeace this month gives you a breather. Some of you are taking work home with you, where you feel a lit-tle more comfortable. August 9th could bring financial opportunities. Circumstances are such that you needto take charge of money matters now. August is certainly a good month for creating a budget. Get yourpaperwork sorted out before the 20th.

Making contact and getting in touch with others, learning, and teaching are all especially important mat-ters to you this month, Leo. You're more communicative than usual, enjoying sharing your ideas andcatching up with friends. You are interested in improving your skills and expanding your mind. Contactwith others can help jumpstart your creativity this month. Some of you could meet a new love interestwhile taking part in classes, group discussions, communicating online, and other forms of networking.Money requires extra attention from the 20th. Avoid taking shortcuts with your finances after this date.Go over everything carefully before making large purchases and other important financial decisions.Waiting for a later date might be best, because you could find that the urge to splurge passes. The 9thbrings fresh energy and a go-ahead for personal projects. It's your New Moon, and it's time to bring ona whole new and fresh attitude to life.

August is a strong period for reviewing the past year and aiming to put the past behind you, Virgo.It's not the time for major decision-making or goal setting, but good for ridding yourself of prob-lems that have been weighing you down. Pay attention to your intuition and even your dreams.Next month, you can make a new start. Financial matters are of concern in August, but money iscoming in and going out in perhaps equal quantity. As such, although there are ups and downs,you end the month on even ground. You're able to come up with some especially creative money-making ideas this month From the 20th and until September 12th, your ruler, Mercury, is retro-grade. This points to a period of natural withdrawal on some level. It's a good time to take in ratherthan push forward with new plans. The 24th brings a partnership matter to light. Pay special atten-tion to what a partner or close friend has to say.

August is a month of much social activity for you, Libra. The 20th brings particularly good energyfor love. Although there is a competitive feel to your relationships, this only serves to energize youand to keep love stimulating. New responsibilities are coming to light and you are ready to takecharge. In fact, you are especially assertive this month, but at the same time, blessed with the abil-ity to go after what you want without ruffling anyone's feathers. You have just the right combina-tion of natural charm and confidence this month that others can't help but take notice. While themonth promises to be pleasurable in many ways, Saturn is solidly back in your sign, reminding youof your responsibilities and the need to structure your life. Do whatever you can to straighten outyour life and discipline yourself. Avoiding responsibilities and cutting corners will not serve youwell. Work or health matters that have been brewing come to light around the 24th.

Competitive energies with associates and friends are likely in August, Sagittarius. These can bepleasant or disconcerting, sometimes both at once, but certainly stimulating. Friends are likely toturn to you for advice, and you could easily find yourself in the middle! Some of you might begina new love relationship through a friend or networking efforts. Financial matters, particularlymoney earned from business, can be tense for the time being, although changes taking place noware likely to bring you to a much better place at a later date. Until the 23rd, you are feeling espe-cially adventurous and philosophical. An energy boost has you thinking of breaking the routineand expanding your experiences. From the 23rd, career matters and responsibilities come intofocus. If you've cut any corners in work projects recently, these will probably come back forreview and redoing. The 24th can bring family and home matters to your attention.

While career matters are very busy and dynamic this month, Scorpio, your personal life is alsorich. A private romance is possible, or an awakening of feelings about a past relationship occursthis month. You are taking charge on the job, and while changes in duties and responsibilities arestill looming, you are feeling good about your position. Work is competitive, but you might findthat it's more stimulating this way and pushing you to work more creatively. Power games areno fun, however, and these should be avoided as much as possible. Be especially mindful of yourcommunications with friends and groups this month, as something said (or not said) could comeback to haunt you after the 20th. From the 23rd forward, there is more focus on your social lifeand less on responsibilities and work. The 24th brings great creative energy, as well as the pos-sibility of a blooming romance.


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