5 ways to having better behaved children

8/8/2019 5 Ways to Having Better Behaved Children

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WT Maidstone

5 Ways

To Having Better Behaved Children

Who Achieve Academically, Get

Fitter, Build Confidence & Become

More Popular!

0800 0937 824www.wtmaidstone.com

Si-Fu Lee JacobsInternational Trainer & Life Coach



As a parent, time is not a luxury you can readily

afford. So, I’m going to get straightto the point – to

giving you my invaluable advice, which could

drastically transform your child’s quality of life: at

Every child is different – but in my many years of working with young people, I have discovered one

thing their parents all have in common: a desire to

improve their child’s self-confidence and, as a

Simply because you are reading this guide right

now, it’s clear that there is something you would

like to change…

Is your child not fulfilling their true potential inschool? Are they hard to control or relate to at

home?

This can be turned around right now – and your

In this guide, I will tell you exactly how it can be

done.

Every parent believes their child could performbetter at school. Few realise, however, that this

performance has far less to do with their child’s

“intelligence”–andfarmoretodowiththeirability

Do you find that your child is easily distracted from

their home work by noises from outside or by the

T.V.? Do they drift into a daydream as soon as they

open their books? Do they interrupt their work to

get food, or go to the bathroom? Are they

This difficulty in concentrating can seriously affect

their grades, which can have a disastrous knock-on

effect on their self-confidence. You may have even

beentoldtheyhavelearningdifficulties

“5 Ways To Having Better Behaved Children Who Achieve

Academically, Get Fitter, Build Confidence & Become More Popular!”

Would You Like To Improve Your

Child’s Academic Results?

0800 0937824www.wtmaidstone.com




Sam Goldstein, Ph.D., a child psychologist and clinical instructor at the

University of Utah School Of Medicine, has conducted research which

suggests a child’s naturally active nature can make concentration over

extended periods of time difficult for them. He states that some

children who are consistently hyperactive should be evaluated by a

mental health professional for possible Attention Deficit Disorder.

In my experience, however, a child’s inability to

focus is very oftencaused by boredom, and the lack

LaterinthisguideIwillshowyouawayyoucanhelp

your child overcome these focus andconcentration

problems and help them improve their grades,

confidenceandbehaviourasaresult.

Is Your Childs health a concern for you?

Despitetheirendlesssupplyofenergy,doyouoften

find it difficult to persuade your child to simply go

outsideandplay–to“letoffsteam”?Ifso,thenwhat

Iamabouttotellyou,youmayfinddisturbing:

Research by Dr. Richard Saphir, a paediatrician and

a member of the editorial advisory board at Childmagazine, reveals that in the last 30 years the

amount of overweight children between the ages

of6and11hasdoubled.Evenmorealarmingisthat

the amount of overweight children in the 12 to 17

yearagegrouphastripledoverthesameperiod.

This is having an alarming effect on our children’s

health. Type 2 Diabetes, and even high bloodpressure – diseases long associated with adults –

are becoming far more commonplace among

Would your child rather sit in front of a computer

game than go outside and play? Do they complain

thatthey’re tired after justa few minutes ofphysical

activity? Does their diet consist of fizzy drinks,

Living the life of a “couch potato” puts your child at

an increased risk of major health hazards, including

Experts have predicted that if we do not deal with

the current culture of inactivity and unhealthylifestyles, we run the risk, for the first time ever, of

producing a generation with a shorter life




Imagine your child living a shorter life than you.

The implications are frightening – that your

children may encounter serious ill-health at a

younger age, that they may not get to fully enjoy

Even in the short term, an unhealthy lifestyle can

dramatically increase the pressures your child has

todealwith.Theyarelikelytobeteasedandbullied

for their weight. They will not be able to join in

physical activities with their friends, leading toisolation and low self-esteem. And because they

are lonely, and experiencing feelings of sadness,

embarrassment, and even anger, they are likely to

In the short term there are many challenges your

childrenwillhavetogothroughaswell.

This can create a vicious cycle, which can lead to

Getting fit, active and healthy doesn’t have to be a

time consuming chore though. In this guide, I will

showyouhowyourchildcanturntheirlifestyle,and

Is Your Child Mixing With The Wrong Crowd?

Judith Eagle of Junior magazine asks, “Should you

be trying to influence—or even control— your

Of course you want to ensure that your child has a

“suitable” circle of friends, who can exert a positive

influence on him or her. But trying to “control”

whom they see is more likely to do more harm than

good, and lead to feelings of rebellion and

bitterness. What you need to do is give them a

“gentlenudge”intherightdirection.

Dr Linda Bolton, a clinical psychologist and mother of two small

boys tells us that, “Young children need to learn social skills,

negotiation and diplomacy and if you block this from happening

it could affect their ability to relate to people later on.”




The best way to achieve this is to ensure your child

develops self-confidence and self-esteem.

However, for many children between the ages of 4

and12,thesequalitiesaredifficulttonurture.

A child with low self-esteem and little confidence ismore likely to succumb to peer pressure, to fall in

with the “wrong crowd”, to experiment with drugs,

sex and gangs, and to rebel against authority.That

lack of confidence, combined with all these

negative influences, only makes it harder for them

Inordertoavoidthesepitfalls,itisnecessarytoinstil

In this guide I will demonstrate how to give your

child self-confidence and self-esteem so strong,

Maybe Your Child Isn’t Doing Any Of Thesehings … YET!

Drugs. Alcohol.Sex. Gangs.These areserious things

to be talking about. And your reaction, like many

other parents, may well be to feel thatthese are not

This is a natural reaction. We all want to feel as

though we’ve raised our children well and taught

themtoavoidthesedangers.

Sadly, we are not the only influences on our

children’s lives. T.V., friends, the Internet – your

child is open to influence from all sides, and in

today’s fast paced life, there simply isn’t always

Askyourselfagain,whyyourequestedthisguide?

Have you seen another child fall under these

influences? Are you concerned about the company

your child is keeping? Or is it simply that you want

Whatever the reason, I can show you just how toequip your child to confront these dangers head on




In the pages to come, I am going to reveal to you

the5WaysToHavingBetterBehavedChildrenWho

Achieve Academically, Get Fitter, Build Confidence

&BecomeMorePopular!

The Root Cause Of All Your Child’s

All of the dangers I’ve outlined above: poor health,

low self-esteem, dangerous company, drugs… all

Sometimes, of course, this is down to a medical,

psychological or chemical disorder, that requires

But very often the cause is much much simpler: the

lackofapositiverollmodel.

Dr Greene, author of many books on child

developmentandYahoo!’sPediatricExpert

says “One of the most powerful ways that children

IMPORTANT FACT: In a study appearing in the

January 2002 issue of the Archives of Paediatrics

and Adolescent Medicine it was suggested that

children who report having role models get higher

academicresultsandhavegreaterself-esteemthan

Butit’snotthatstraightforward:

Of the children surveyed, only half said they had a

positive roll model in their life – someone they

couldaspiretobelike.

Whilst most children who felt they had a roll model

identified one of their parents as being the major

positive influence on them, almost as many listed

their favourite musicians, actors, sports stars, and

even cartoon characters as their roll models! This

should be seen as a serious problem, as we’ll see

Here’sThePowerfulSolutionYouShouldConsider

There are many solutions available to help parentsdeal with the day-to-day hazards of raising a child.

Some have proven to be more effective than

others, and in the next few pages, I am going to

share with you the technique which I have found to

have the most positive effect on youngsters

betweentheagesof4and12.




This single solution can have a massive effect on

your child’s physical well-being, mental focus,

schoolwork, and home life. It can give them the

power to make positive decisions in many areas of

Thissolutionissoeffective,thatwhenparentsseeit

transform their child’s life, they very often join in

themselves! I have seen this solution bring

This little known and almost secret solution is

Now,beforeyoulaugh,thisisnotaboutJackieChan

ortheKarateKid!Thisisnotawaytopunchandkick

yourwayoutoftrouble.

The Martial Arts are far more than a series

In their simplest form, Martial Arts can show your

child an example of how to behave that they can

One of the first things Martial Arts teaches us, ishow to be civilized towards one another. That

“please”, “thank you”, “hello” and “goodbye” are

morethanjustwords,andthatusingthemraisesus

Martial Arts shows a child an example of how to

behave towards others – and rewards them for

Growing up isn’t easy, and children – all children –

welcome any example of how to behave. Through

MartialArts,Icangivethemthatexample.

You know what frustrates me most about what I

see in our society today?

It’s the overwhelming influence of celebrity on our

children’s lives.Children no longerwant to grow up

to be just like their parents – they’d rather be like

Eminem, Brittany Spears, or 50 Cent. They believe

that by following these stereotypes – by “fitting in”




But this belief can be changed. Children will act

according to the support they receive from those

aroundthem.

InourMartialArtsSchool,wemayonlyseeachildfor

a couple of hours a week. But they experience theygain in that short time is carried within the child,

giving them the power to emulate that good

Through constantly reminding a child how to

behave, and through rewarding them when they

get it right, we can quickly reverse their bad habits,

Martial Arts actively promotes good behaviour –it’s that simple!

In most areas of your child’s life, and at most of the

institutions they will attend, the line is drawn at

correcting bad behaviour. By its very nature, this

means that bad habits form, and bad influences

To promote good behaviour in a child, you mustshow them an example, and reward every effort

they make to copy it – even if they don’t always get

That principle – of constantly demonstrating and

rewarding good behaviour – is how we can change,

But here’s the critical point. Simply teaching a child

a Martial Art will not lead to the dramatic changes I

know arepossible.Havingthecorrect ethos behind

1: It’s What You Get To Become that’s important.

Breaking boards, throwing punches, and learning

selfdefence are only the superficial benefits of

learningaMartialArt.Therealbenefityourchildwill

experienceisin,withoutevenrealisingit,whatthey

As a Martial Artsstudent,yourchild willbecomethe

very person others look to for inspiration – a roll

model! They will become a self confidentphysically




health-conscious child who shows respect to

othersand to themselves .They will learn to act. This

is not something you will find your child being

taught in school – and that is a large part of the

reasonwhyourchildrenarefacingtheseissues.

Can these Behavioural Improvements

Happen At All Martial Arts clubs or

Unfortunately not, because many instructors focus

on the physical and competitive elements of

Martial Arts. Whilst these can be beneficial, sadly

noteverygreatandsuccessfulathletelivesthekindof life you would want your child to emulate.

Simple physical prowess is not enough. It ignores

one of the most essential ingredients of what

That is to say: how they behave.

In my Martial Arts School, the emphasis is put

firmly on your child’s personal achievements –

how they behave towards one another, and how

What number of positive activities is your child

THE TRUTH: Possibly very few.

In today’s competitive environment, too much

emphasisisputoncomingfirst.Achildwhoisnot

the fastest, strongest or most successful is

considered a loser. And it’s no different in the

classroom – if you’re not sitting at the front of the

In my academy I have created a safe and rewarding

environment, where your child will feel motivated

toparticipateinactivities,andcomplywiththerules

we set. In return, they are made to feel positive

about each and every achievement they make. This

positive mindset can create a habitual behaviour in

Here’s another little secret…every child thrives on

attention. And if they can’t get attention for doing

things right, they soon learn they can get it for

How many times have you seen a toddler have a

“tantrum”, and the parent explain that they’re “just

afterattention”?




At my School, the solution is simple. We show your

child a positive example, and then give them a safe

activity and structure, where they can easily

In a moment, I’m going to tell you how your childcan experience —but first, check out our way

number 2! this—absolutely

FREE

2: Improving your Child’s Behaviour… will

improveTheirPerformance

I want to show you that Martial Arts can be as good

foryourchild’smindasitisfortheirbody.

How? I’ll tell you…

In order to learn, your child must learn to listen.

Focus and concentration are the key ingredients for

By developing that focus and concentration – bylearninghowtolearn–youchildwilldevelopaskill

which can beapplied inall aspects oftheir life.

But unlocking the potential in your child requires

discipline. The discipline to focus their efforts and

increasetheirconcentration.

Studying Martial Arts will encourage your child to

strive for success – to focus them and to apply their

concentration. And as their self-esteem grows with

Here’s what I would like you to understand…

Children don’t go to school hoping to fail. But

despite their best efforts, without the proper skill

set – the right building blocks - success becomes

unattainable, and before long your child willbecomede-motivatedanddemoralised.




You wouldn’t tell your child to jump into a

swimming pool without first giving them the skills

theyneeded–theabilitytoswim.Wetakethesame

path at my School, by encouraging your child to

advance in easily achievable stages. Crucially: Any

And to ensure that this reward and motivation is

carrying through to their academic performance,

we even request to see your child’s school report.

We don’t want to pass judgement on the grades

they attain, but we do want to show your child that

That’s a very simple way of encouraging a higher

Andwhetheryourchild’sreportisfullofA’sorfullof

C’s, we will take every positive comment on that

Guess what will happen?

Your child will strive harder and harder to achieve

more and more. Between Instructor, Parent and

Teacher, we can form a triangle of support and

motivation that will give your child a “safety

Your child then realizes that all three of these

important people in his life are there to assist him

and celebrate and reward any degree of accomplishmentorvictoryhehas.

y developing this network of support for your

child, we can encourage them to fulfil their true

potential – personally, socially and academically.

B

This is how together we help your child get great

academic results! The best way to teach children

To many, repetition means monotony – boredom.

But, in my many years working with children and

young people, I have realised that carefully




If you want to get good at something, you have to do it

over and over again. Want to learn to ride a bike? Get

on it, fall off it, and get back on it again. The results may

not be what you were hoping for the first time you try,

but by simple repetition, by trying it over and over again,

At my Martial Arts Academy, we use repetition as a tool

to train. By doing the same thing over and over, we

show your child the constantly improving results from

They soon realise that this skill applies to all areas of their life. Want to get good at your sidekick? Keep side

kicking until it’s perfect. Want to get good at addition?

Keep adding until you don’t even have to think about it.

Repetition can make any skill “second nature”. This is

just one element that your child can take straight out of

Is your Martial Arts academy or club

Interested In Helping your Children Get

Betterresults…here’showtotell?

This is very easy. Simply ask the instructor what goals

Beware of anacademy/club that sets too muchstore in

winning tournaments, displaying trophies; or which

clearly favours the students with the greatest natural

athleticism. Let these be warning signs that their goal is

Letmebeclear– this isnot what Martial Arts isabout.

I’m not interested in whether your child can learn to

Focusing purely on the physical element means that as

soon as a child fails to perform physically, they are

discounted – relegated to the back of the class. It also

fails to develop your childonan emotional or intellectual

What makes my School different is this one, simple




Your child doesn’t have to the best; theybe

If you want to stay physically fit, you go to a gym and

workout – but you don’t need towork yourself todeath 7

nights a week. You go, you do your best, and you come

away fitter, healthier and feeling better about yourself.

Many Martial Arts academies/clubs demand perfection

in order for your child to proceed. Let me explain it

another way. Unless your child does things exactly right

in a certain and specific way they don’t move up to the

That’s ridiculous.

If a school demanded perfect marks for a child to

proceed from one year to the next, I certainly wouldn’t

Perfection is rarely, if ever, attainable. What we

“demand” is that your child does their very best – isn’t

that asnear to perfectionasanyone can ask?

Yet so many academies still demand this constant

drive for physical perfection – whilst overlooking the

In a few pages, I’m going to explain how you can check

all of this out—absolutely FREE— but first you should




3: Creating Good Habits will give

your child greater physical

Any parent would want their child to be physically fit

The question is, how do we measure this, and what is it

We’re not all looking for our child to be an Adonis at the

poolside– but for them to behealthy, fit, and “well”.

Physical fitness is just one part of a healthy lifestyle, and

this healthy lifestyle is the result of getting your child into

Returning to the question, there is far more we can

achieve for your child by encouraging them towards a

Howabout the way a child looks?

As I mentioned earlier, obesity (defined as being 20%

or more above the optimum weight for your height and

age), is an all too immediate problem these days – and

with today’s tendency towards fast food and lack of

But I have found that by rewarding a child’s efforts in a

physical activity, they are encouraged to maintain a

healthier, more active lifestyle – even on into

adulthood.

CONSIDER THIS: Children like adults continue to doactions based on the attention they get …by helping

children understand that doing positive actions get

positive responses and negative actions get ignored,

Why do children get so hooked on computer games?

The answer is simple – because they offer instant

gratification, and instant reward for success. I know

more than one child who is far keener to tell me whatlevel they’ve achieved on the latest computer game,

Imagine the potential if we could create the same

excitement and feeling of achievement within a

Guess what? We can!

And that’s exactly how we encourage your child to

continue on that path towards physical that s fitness,

And that’s what every parent wants, right?




Sleep is a key to health and fitness.

Ask any child whether they enjoy going to bed on

time and you’re virtually guaranteed to get a

resounding “NO”!!! Why is this? Well, perhaps it’s

because children are made to feel that they’rebeing sent to bed because they’re not old enough

to stay up; because they’re not supposed to watch

What if your child knew that the best reason for

going to bed is that that’s where our bodies do

most of their growing? Getting biggerandstronger

And what if every parent could educate their child

thatgoingtobedisnotapunishmentorexclusion–

it’s a reward to your body for a good day’s work!!

Perhaps if your child realised all this – that they

could go to sleep, and achieve all this while they’re

Okay, some can some can’t.

Some children are naturally born with a physically

active,athleticnature.They’rethekindofchildwho

can pick up any sport “just like that”. They may be a

soccer ace, a budding golfer, or a Martial Arts whiz.The bad news is that most of us simply aren’t born

like that! Most of us have to work hard to achieve

strength, coordination, timing and balance. It can

take weeks, months or even years to reach our true

Butit’snotalldoomandgloom!

Every cloud has its silver lining – and there’s one

heretoo!Simply,Iwantyoutorealisethattimeisall

T h r ou g h t h e r e pe t it i on , a n d p o si t iv e

reinforcement that I have discussed already, we

can, over time, raise your child’s performance.

What’s more, if your child is not naturally

predisposed towards this kind of activity, then

they’re more likely to see improvements in their

performance in a very short space of time – and


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Youcan’thelpbutenhanceyourdegreeofphysical

athleticism and your ability to perform martial arts.

So the key is not to place emphasis on one’s ability

“DoyouhavetobegoodatthephysicalsidetogetthemostOutOfMaritalArts?”

Absolutely not! And it’s largely down to bad Martial

Arts instructors and academies/clubs that many

peoplethinktheyneedtobeabletokickandpunch

before they even enrol. In my experience, only

around 10% of new Martial Arts could be termed

But the remaining 70% - the

vast majority – are average,e v er y da y p e op l e, w i th

T h e p r o b l e m i s t h a t m a n y

academies/clubs only want to accept

t h a t “ t o p ” 1 0 % . T h e y w a n t t o

demonstrate their success by taking the

most physically advanced students, and

winning tournaments and trophies. This

doesn’t show our industry in its true light, and

The problem is that many academies/clubs only

want to accept that “top” 10%. They want to

demonstrate their success by taking the most

physically advanced students, and winning

tournaments and trophies. This doesn’t show our

industry in its true light, and overshadows our real

This is important. Whether your child is physically

gifted or not makes no difference at my School.

My job – my goal – as a professional Martial Arts

Instructor is to provide a safe forum where your

child can learn to fulfil their physical and

emotional potential, and to excel themselves. I

KEY POINT: There should be no one in the class

who is better than anyone else. You cannot

always be better … someone somewhere is

going to be better than you and that defeats




“What wrong with my child just attending PE at

Well sadly, most schools are not equipped with

expert tuition in specific sports. Their classes are a

“taster” – a one size fits all introduction to a widerange of sports, conducted for fun. Now don’t get

me wrong: there’s nothing wrong with fun (we

positivelyencourageit!!)–butthisisnotthewayto

Martial Arts, when properly instructed, are a

different kind of fun. It’s that addictive kind of fun

that makes you want to back time and again

In the school system, teachers are required to

deliver a set curriculum of activities, regardless of

each child’sability or preference. Thisisn’ttheirfault

– it’s a mass-market situation which could never be

tailored to a specific child’s needs. But you

remember the child who was always last to be

Well that’s exactly what makes my Martial Arts

Based on the physical and emotional maturity of

each student, we can provide them with a specific

level of challenge which they will find stimulating

and rewarding – giving them a sense of

accomplishmentandself-confidence.

It doesn’t matter what level of physical ability,

coordination or agility your child is at. In a safe and

rewarding environment where they’re competing

only against their own performance, they will feel

encouraged to participate whatever their level.

This is the key factor which separates my School

Coming up, I will show you how to take a “test

drive” for yourself without spending any money.

But in the meantime, read about how to improve

4: Confidence Can Only Be Developed!

But, it can be

Confidence is not something academic. Teaching

someone what confidence is will not ensure that



So if you can’t teach it, how do you “pass it on”?

Simply, you create a safe environment, full of

reward and recognition, which encourages your

child to stretch themselves physically and

emotionally. When they learn that thecantake risks

without risking failure, confidence will naturally

Here’s what confidence is NOT: Confidence is NOT

the absence of fear or nervousness. These senses

are vital in our ability to assess what is safe for us to

do and what is not. Rather, confidence is the ability

to do something DESPITE the fact that it may make

us nervous or even frightened. It is the ability to

The cliché here is “going outside your comfortzone” – and that’s really what we’re encouraging.

Not to do something dangerous or foolish, but to

push your limits, to experiment, and to find out just

But to do any of this, the most important thing is to

In order to achieve this, my School provides a safeenvironment, where your child can take a risk,

overcome a hurdle, without fear of being hurt,

embarrassed or ridiculed. And with each hurdle

Book smart vs. street smart

There is a great difference between “knowing”

something in an academic sense (because you

read about it in a book, or saw it on T.V.), and

Here’s an example:

Every parent explains to their child the danger of

stickingtheirfingerinanelectricalsocket.Ibetyour

parents told you not to do it, and I bet you’ve told

This is book smart. Your parents tried to explain, in

purely intellectual terms, the consequences of a

Naturally, you wanted to please your parents,and

so you said, “Okay mummy, I won’t put anything





But that type of lesson doesn’t last very long, does

it?Andthenwhathappens?

Eventually curiosity gets the better of you, and you

experiment – you find something to push into the

socket, just to see what really happens. And yougetashock!!

Now, that is street smart, and once learned, it’s not

easily forgotten!!

Now don’t get me wrong – I don’t propose to give

your child shock treatment! But what we do at my

School is provide the environment where children

can experience things in real life and learn those

Giving your child these experiences, in activities

which require a little initial confidence, plants the

seed for that confidence to grow: and that is how a

well structured Martial Arts course serves not only

Andthatisexactlywhatwedo.

“Whether You Think You Can Or Think You Can’t,Either Way, You’re Absolutely Correct.” ~ Henry

Ford

In order to believe you “can”, you first need to

overcome the belief that you “can’t”. And this is

done by building up successful experiences,

When we give your child these experiences in

Martial Arts, they carry over into their everyday life,

When your child walks into a social setting, be it aclassroom, playground, party, they immediately

begin to assess what they can and can’t do. They

compare themselves to the other children –

“Tommy is faster than me”, “Sally is smarter than I

am”, “I’ve got more friends than Billy”. Based on

It’s a simple fact that just like adults, children very

quickly create a “pecking order” within their peer

groups. And here is where the danger lies. Becauseyour child wants to compare positively to those

around them, they will naturally gravitate towards

children who are lower down that pecking order




Understand your children…

When a child makes a decision, 2 factors are at the

topoftheirlist:

1.howtheyfeelatthatmoment

2. how the outcome of the decision will make them

As your child gains more andmore self-confidence

through our Martial Arts experience, they will

begintomakethosedecisionsdifferently.Theywill

depend less on judging themselves in comparison

to others. And they even gravitate towards those

children higher up that pecking order as they feel

Let me share something with you… I know thereare several great fears that a parent has for their

children such as the danger of violence, premature

sex,drugexperimentation,alcohol,etc.

Let’s look back for a moment at those temptations

in life which children sadly so often give in to –

drugs, gangs, alcohol. It may seem obvious, but it’s

worth saying anyway – children don’t “decide” to

give in to these vices. They don’t sit down, write outtheprosandcons

and make a rational choice. They don’t discuss it

withtheirparentsandallagreeit’stherightthingto

Based on how they feel, especially about

themselves, when they are presented with an

opportunity,theywillsimplydecide,yesorno.

So simply telling your child to say no is never going

to be enough. It’s another “word lesson” that is not

rooted in experience. In order to steer your child

clear of these vices, we need to teach them that

feeling good about themselves is something they

can achieve through success and reward – it

MAJORPOINT: Byshowingyourchildhowtogain

confidence and boost their self-esteem, we can

guide them to make better decisions in all aspects

of their life. As a result of these decisions, they will

naturally gravitate towards likeminded peers who

respect their achievements and want to emulate

It’saveryuniquechildwhocouldwalkintoagroupof their peers whom they perceive as “superior” to

them and introduce themselves. It doesn’t happen

thatquickly.




But, through my Martial Arts School, we can give your

child the esteem, and confidence to move in that

direction. To stop comparing themselves to others

simply to “validate” themselves. To believe in their own

“Are most academies and clubs good at

More often that not, no. It’s a pass or fail culture, where

success is at one extreme and everything else is

In life, your child will at times encounter these black and

white, pass/fail situations. It is our responsibility to

prepare them to face these challenges when they arise,but also to educate them that success is not an

absolute, and to take their reward in every degree of

Woody Allen said, “98% of success is just showing

up.”

Most academies/clubs have their pass/fail mentality

so deeply engrained that if a child doesn’t reach the top

of the class they feel they’ve failed and lose the desire tocontinue. Our ethos is for every child to feel they have

Naturally you will want this success mentality for your

child – and in just a few moments I will explain how they

can experience it absolutely FREE. But first, let me

5: The Quality Of Your Life Will Get Better

Acceptance is a huge part of how your child will

develop and the friends and peers they will mix with.

However, when we talk about acceptance, we tend to

think in terms of “how will my child be accepted” in a

It’s important to reverse that though process too – “how

will my child express their acceptance of those around

them?”.

Deeply entwined with this is the idea of prejudice – that




We can’t always see eye to eye with everyone; we can’t

always agree. And there will be some people with whom

we just don’t get along. But those decisions should be

based on our personal experience – NOT on what a

person looks like, talks like, or any sweeping

generalisation. Before we judge them, we should judge

The world around our children does not always work as

perfectly as every parent would wish. In an ideal world,

our children would select friends who could positively

influence them and broaden their horizons. In reality,

If you look at the you people you surround

yourself with … you’ll be surprise they are

very, like you in their view, principles and

In doing this, your child may discount, or never even

meet, a large number of people who could have a

dramatic and positive effect on their lives. At my

Regardless of whom your child shares a class with or

interacts with, they are encouraged to treat everyone

equally, and well. We strive to find the good in

everybody, and to overlook the bad And by motivating

your child to feel better about themselves, we can alsoThat’s not to say of course that bad behaviour is

tolerated, or that a child should accept being bullied or

intimidated. But, as each child begins to increase their

You see, all of these small, step by step improvements

in your child’s life – their health, their

fitness, their emotional and academic development –they learn to view the world in a more positive way, and




Bullies do not pick on children randomly. In an attempt

to increase their own self-esteem, they will pick on a

smaller, weaker child, or one who has an obvious

“disadvantage” which they canexploit.

They look for someone lower down that pecking order

But how your child interacts with those around themcan

greatly change their quality of life. Social anthropologist

Edward T. Hall claims that as much as 60% of all

communication is non-verbal, and that as little as 7% of

our communication with others comes from the actual

So, the most effective way to communicate with theworld around you is through your body language.

Simply learning how to carry yourself,how to appear

confidant and self aware, can send a massive message

I can walk into a classroom and straight away tell you,

just by observing body language, who is bullied, who

bullies, and who performswell and who doesn’t.

Byteachingchildrenabouttheirbodiesandits

languageyoucangivethemthetoolstheyneed

toletothersknowtheyareconfidentandincharge.

Thismakesthemstrongerinallaspectsoftheirlife.

Children learn language from the influences around

them:from their parents, from T.V., movies and anyone

and everyone they interact with. Unfortunately, in many

cases these influencesare not positive ones.

Language is a very effective tool for communication –

but many children are pressured by their peers into

seeing language as a “code” a way of fitting into a

Slang terms – non-words – are the rituals these

elements of society use to identify themselves. Saying

“hip” instead of “cool” can get you into one “gang” and

alienate you from another. Using slang that went out of

date last year can mark you out as an outsider – as

At my Martial Arts School, we use a carefully defined

and disciplined regime of “verbal etiquette”. This gives

our students a great basis for learning the importance

By commanding the attention of a class simply by the

way I speak to them, by the authority and confidence in

my voice, I can inspire my students to emulate my

example. So many children today want to sound like

their favourite singers, or movie stars – and that’s not a




As a student, your child will emulate myexample.

How I position myself, how I speak, how I maintain eye

contact and how I graciously shake hands – all of these

elements can be taken into their own lives, and will

Proper Martial Arts training changes everything in

What we have illustrated so far, is a physically fit,

healthy, polite, well-adjusted child who can integrate

into society and carry themselves with confidence and

By enrolling your child at my School, not only can you

achieve this, but you will also show your child just what

Simply by enrolling your child, you are saying to them “Ibelieve you can do this, and I believe you can do it really

It’s not all work on my part though. It’s vital to

understand that the huge advantages I can give your

child through my Martial Arts teachings, are only as

There are 168 hours in a week. At most, I will see your child for just 2 of those. Now, we can accomplish a

great deal in those 2 hours – but if it’s not supported

during the other 166, then your child will not get the full

benefit. It’s up to you to reiterate those lessons, to insist

that your child tries their best in all aspects of their life –

and that they carry the positive outlook and behaviour I

Emphasising the value of the lessons I can teach your child will give you the ability to dramatically increase

their quality of life, and increase the effect that my




Not all academies/clubs are equal. But they are not at

opposite ends of a spectrum. The content of all

academies/clubs is by its very nature similar – they will

all teach you or your child a martial art. The fundamental

difference then, is not in what they teach, but in howthey teach it. It’s a matter of content, versus context.

How you teach can havea far deeper

Many academies, and the instructors in them, are too

preoccupied by the latest fads and crazes, the newest

form of martial arts, the coolest uniform, and how they

can show off their own prowess. These people are not

leaders. They may claim to be leaders, but in reality

they are simply copying a craze started somewhere

else, which they believe will make them popular until

These are followers, not leaders.

IMPORTANTPOINT: As an instructor, it is not my job to

be my students’ friend. I am not there to entertain or

impress, or to create a casual atmosphere. It is my

responsibility to promote a professional and competent

image which gives my students confidence in my ability

to instruct them toa high standard in a safemanner. It is

my responsibility to be a role model to your child

–someone they can emulate in their search to improve

So, to provide a good martial arts experience that

anyone, a child, an adult, can use to gain a higher

degree of accomplishment, the first thing that you have



6ideastothinkaboutbeforeenrolling

1 I. s Victory the driving force? If you walk into a life size

trophy cabinet, turn around and walk back out!

Teaching Martial Arts should be about creating a safe

environment in which your child can develop and

extend themselves. Emotional, intellectual andsocial

2 D. o they act with Respect? If an instructor at an

academy speaks badly of others in the area, or is not

polite and respectful to you, then again, this is not the

place to take your child. Martial Arts teaches respect for

ones self and for others. If an instructor cannot

3 A. nd what about those instructors? Do they act out

the lessons they deliver? Do they act in a manner you

would be happy for your child to follow? Are they active

in their wider community? If not, thenkeep looking – but

if they do display all these qualities, then maybe you’ve

4 D. id you look at the Floor?! By the floor, I mean the

whole teaching experience. Does the instructor have

the willing cooperation of his students? Does he

command their attention and compliance? The

instructor’s role is to gain the active attention of every

student on the floor in front of them. If they can’t do this

5 A. re they prepared to Guarantee their work?

Retailers guarantee their goods, builders guarantee

their work, so why shouldn’t a teacher guarantee their

lessons? If you’vewalked into anSchool that is proud of

its reputation and its results, then they’ll have no

6 D. o they charge “per lesson”? This may seem like a

good idea, but what does it really tell you? It tells you

that they probably don’t expect you to stay until the end

of the course. It tells you they aren’t confident in what

they’re doing. You are considering introducing an adult

into your child’s life who can potentially have a huge

effect on them. Make sure you choose a professional –




The next step…

This is a big decision for you and your child. However,

sometimes we can spend so long weighing up a

The next step is simple. Walk through the doors of my

Martial Arts School. Judge it on how graciously you are

received into my “home” – how comfortable you feel,

and what steps are taken to introduce you to the idea of

This is easy. Just walk in, and ask me what I can do to

help your child. Having read this far, you already know

muchof what I can offer – but let’s talk about it together,

and see what might work best. We understand that

putting that first foot over the boundary can be a little

intimidating – any new experience can be. But trust me

– this will be a decision you don’t regret: a totally

Come on in, and find out more about my programme of Martial Arts for children. This is a programme that has

been developed over two thousand years – but its taken

until now for someone to define it, distil it, and offer it to

In that very first visit, you will feel how we can make a

connection – an open channel between your child,

yourself, and me. But even I can’t make that connection

by fax or email, so it’s up to you to take that first step.

Walk in, meet me, and talk about your concerns, your hopes, and exactly how you would like to see your child

Here’sanofferyoucan’trefuse!

I guess to make this even easier perhaps we need to

removeall risk. So this ismy recommendation.Come in

and take advantage of a no obligation, no cost, private

“Child Success Analysis” with me. We’ll discuss your

child and how we can help you achieve your goals.

Bring this letter along and I shall provide you two

The offer: Risk Free, No Obligation, and Private “Child

Success Analysis.” PLUS 2 Weeks of Lessons on me

with this report PLUS a free uniform if you decide we

can help your child improve all areas of their lives.



To claim your “Child Success Analysis” and your Two

Weeks of Free Lessons call me right now to schedule a

Don’t delay. Give me a chance to personally help youand your child overcome the challenges that are

keeping him or her from true success in all areas of their

And just one more thing…. If you do decide to enrol on

our programme after your trial then rest assured that

you have a ‘Cast Iron’ guarantee from me personally

that if my programme doesn’t meet your needs and you

haven’t seen a measurable change in your child’s


5 ways to having better behaved children

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