Writing

Be concise!

What makes a good writer?

• Inborn talent?• Years of English and humanities classes?• An artistic nature?• The influence of alcohol and drugs?• Divine inspiration?

•Having something to say•Logical and clear thinking•Knowing a few simple, learnable rules of style

Clear writing starts with clear thinking

Before you start writing, ask: “What am I trying to say?”

When you finish writing, ask: “Have I said it?”

Make every word tell

“Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. This requires not that the writer make all his sentences short, or that he avoid all detail and treat his subjects only in outline, but that every word tell.”

The Elements of Style, William Strunk Jr. (available online at: http://www.bartleby.com/141/)

Make every word tell

“Such preparations shall be made as will completely obscure all Federal buildings and non-Federal buildings occupied by the Federal government during an air raid for any period of time from visibility by reason of internal or external illumination.”

(from a US government blackout order in 1942)

FDR’s response:“Tell them that in the buildings where they have to keep the work going to put

something across the windows.”

Words and sentences

Words1. Reduce dead weight2. Cut, cut, cut3. Be specific

Sentences4. Include subject + verb + object5. Use strong verbs6. Eliminate negatives; use positive constructions

Dead weight

• Very, really, quite, basically, generally

There are many students who like writing.

Many students like writing

• Watch out for the verb “to be” (e.g., “there are”)

Dead weight• In the event that• In the nature of• It has been estimated that• It seems that• It may be argued that• It can be shown that• It is believed that• For the most part• For the purpose of• In the case of • In the final analysis

Dead weight

• A majority of

• A number of

• Are of the same opinion

• At the present moment• By means of

Clunky phrase Equivalent

Most

Many

Agree

Now

By

Dead weight

• All three of the

• Fewer in number

• Give rise to

• In all cases

• In a position to

• In close proximity to

• In order to

Clunky phrase Equivalent

The three

Fewer

Cause

Always

Can

Near

To

Dead weight

• Assistance• Utilize • Numerous • Facilitate • Remainder • Due to the fact that• Is indicative of • Sufficient • For the purpose of

Beware of Use instead

Help

UseMany Help

Rest Because Shows Enough

For/to

Choosing the right words1. Reduce dead weight words and phrases

2. Cut, cut, cut• Is a word or phrase necessary? • What happens if I take it out?• Don’t get attached!

Cutting words

I would like to assert that the author should be considered to be a buffoon.

The author is a buffoon.

The expected prevalence of mental retardation, based on the assumption of a normal distribution of intelligence in the population, is stated to be theoretically about 2.5%.”

The expected prevalence of mental retardation, if intelligence is normally distributed, is 2.5%

Cutting words

To control infection with Mycobacterium tuberculosis (M. tb), a robust T-cell-mediated immune response is necessary, and deficiency in this response predisposes an individual towards active TB.

Deficiency in T-cell-mediated immune response predisposes an individual to active TB.

This paper provides a review of the basic tenets of cancer biology study design, using as examples studies that illustrate the methodologic challenges or that demonstrate successful solutions to the difficulties inherent in biological research.

Cutting words

and

This paper reviews cancer biology study design, using examples that illustrate specific challenges and solutions.

S

Choosing the right words

1. Reduce dead weight words and phrases

2. Cut, cut, cut: learn to part with your words

3. Be specific

Use specific nouns and specific verbs and specific details….

Be specific

Vague nouns

Problem, situation, approach, method, reaction, period, component, technique, solution, challenge, difficulty

Vague: A period of unfavorable weather set in.

Specific: It rained every day for a week.

Building sentences

Sentences4. Subject + verb + object

5. Use strong verbs and don’t turn verbs into nouns

6. Eliminate negatives; use positive constructions

Active vs. passive voice

In the passive voice, the actor is AWOL…

President Kennedy was shot in 1963.

Cigarette ads were designed to appeal to children.

Who shot him?

Who is responsible?

Building sentences

4. Subject + verb + object5. Use strong verbs and don’t turn verbs

into nouns

Active verbs

Obtain estimates of

Has seen an expansion in

Provides a methodologic emphasis

Take an assessment of

estimate

has expanded

emphasizes

assess

The useful bits

Weak verbs

More active verbs

Provide a review of

Offer confirmation of

Make a decision

Shows a peak

Exhibits a dependence upon

review

confirm

decide

peaks

depends

Building sentences

4. Subject + verb + object5. Use strong verbs and don’t turn verbs into

nouns 6. Eliminate negatives; use positive constructions

Be positive

• Not honest dishonest• Does not have lacks• Did not remember forgot• Did not pay attention to ignored• Did not have much confidence distrusted• Did not succeed failed

Example

The fear expressed by some teachers that students would not learn statistics well if they were permitted to use canned computer programs has not been realized in our experience. A careful monitoring of achievement levels before and after the introduction of computers in the teaching of our course revealed no appreciable change in students’ performances.

Subject very long!

Negatives

PassivePassiveDead weight

Boring verb 55 words

Example

Many teachers feared that the use of canned computer programs would prevent students from learning statistics. We monitored student achievement levels before and after the introduction of computers in our course and found no decrease in performance.

37 words

Dangling participles & misplaced modifiers

Participles modify the nearest noun

Walking along the beach, the sun rose majestically over the ocean. 

Using tissue isolation protocol, mtDNA was isolated from dried skins.

Ivory samples were taken from tusks using a drill.

Paragraphs

1. Avoid a succession of loose sentences

2. Paragraph flow is helped by:• logical flow of ideas• if necessary, transition words

3. First and last sentences should be really good

Abstract

• Summary of research• At beginning of paper (write last!)• Conference proceedings• Short! (150-250 words)• Give max information in min space

Weissman 2008

Abstract structure

• Purpose (1-2 sentences)

• Procedures (very abbreviated)

• Findings

• Conclusions (1-2 sentences of discussion; 1 sentence about general importance)

KaiC from Synechococcus elongatus PCC 7942 (KaiC) is an essential circadian clock protein in cyanobacteria. Previous sequence analyses suggested its inclusion in the RecA/DnaB superfamily. A characteristic of the proteins of this superfamily is that they form homohexameric complexes that bind DNA. We show here that KaiC also forms ring complexes with a central pore that can be visualized by electron microscopy. A combination of analytical ultracentrifugation and chromatographic analyses demonstrates that these complexes are hexameric. The association of KaiC molecules into hexamers depends on the presence of ATP. The KaiC sequence does not include the obvious DNA-binding motifs found in RecA or a DnaB. Nevertheless, KaiC binds forked DNA substrates. These data support the inclusion of KaiC into the RecA/DnaB superfamily and have important implications for enzymatic activity of KaiC in these circadian clock mechanism that regulates global changes in gene expression patterns.

Mori et al. Circadian clock protein KaiC forms ATP-dependent hexameric rings and binds DNA. PNAS 99: 17203-17208

143 words

KaiC from Synechococcus elongatus PCC 7942 (KaiC) is an essential circadian clock protein in cyanobacteria. Previous sequence analyses suggested its inclusion in the RecA/DnaB superfamily. A characteristic of the proteins of this superfamily is that they form homohexameric complexes that bind DNA. We show here that KaiC also forms ring complexes with a central pore that can be visualized by electron microscopy. A combination of analytical ultracentrifugation and chromatographic analyses demonstrates that these complexes are hexameric. The association of KaiC molecules into hexamers depends on the presence of ATP. The KaiC sequence does not include the obvious DNA-binding motifs found in RecA or a DnaB. Nevertheless, KaiC binds forked DNA substrates. These data support the inclusion of KaiC into the RecA/DnaB superfamily and have important implications for enzymatic activity of KaiC in these circadian clock mechanism that regulates global changes in gene expression patterns.

Mori et al. Circadian clock protein KaiC forms ATP-dependent hexameric rings and binds DNA. PNAS 99: 17203-17208

143 words

KaiC from Synechococcus elongatus PCC 7942 (KaiC) is an essential circadian clock protein in cyanobacteria. Previous sequence analyses suggested its inclusion in the RecA/DnaB superfamily. A characteristic of the proteins of this superfamily is that they form homohexameric complexes that bind DNA. We show here that KaiC also forms ring complexes with a central pore that can be visualized by electron microscopy. A combination of analytical ultracentrifugation and chromatographic analyses demonstrates that these complexes are hexameric. The association of KaiC molecules into hexamers depends on the presence of ATP. The KaiC sequence does not include the obvious DNA-binding motifs found in RecA or a DnaB. Nevertheless, KaiC binds forked DNA substrates. These data support the inclusion of KaiC into the RecA/DnaB superfamily and have important implications for enzymatic activity of KaiC in these circadian clock mechanism that regulates global changes in gene expression patterns.

Mori et al. Circadian clock protein KaiC forms ATP-dependent hexameric rings and binds DNA. PNAS 99: 17203-17208

143 words

KaiC from Synechococcus elongatus PCC 7942 (KaiC) is an essential circadian clock protein in cyanobacteria. Previous sequence analyses suggested its inclusion in the RecA/DnaB superfamily. A characteristic of the proteins of this superfamily is that they form homohexameric complexes that bind DNA. We show here that KaiC also forms ring complexes with a central pore that can be visualized by electron microscopy. A combination of analytical ultracentrifugation and chromatographic analyses demonstrates that these complexes are hexameric. The association of KaiC molecules into hexamers depends on the presence of ATP. The KaiC sequence does not include the obvious DNA-binding motifs found in RecA or a DnaB. Nevertheless, KaiC binds forked DNA substrates. These data support the inclusion of KaiC into the RecA/DnaB superfamily and have important implications for enzymatic activity of KaiC in these circadian clock mechanism that regulates global changes in gene expression patterns.

Mori et al. Circadian clock protein KaiC forms ATP-dependent hexameric rings and binds DNA. PNAS 99: 17203-17208

143 words

KaiC from Synechococcus elongatus PCC 7942 (KaiC) is an essential circadian clock protein in cyanobacteria. Previous sequence analyses suggested its inclusion in the RecA/DnaB superfamily. A characteristic of the proteins of this superfamily is that they form homohexameric complexes that bind DNA. We show here that KaiC also forms ring complexes with a central pore that can be visualized by electron microscopy. A combination of analytical ultracentrifugation and chromatographic analyses demonstrates that these complexes are hexameric. The association of KaiC molecules into hexamers depends on the presence of ATP. The KaiC sequence does not include the obvious DNA-binding motifs found in RecA or a DnaB. Nevertheless, KaiC binds forked DNA substrates. These data support the inclusion of KaiC into the RecA/DnaB superfamily and have important implications for enzymatic activity of KaiC in these circadian clock mechanism that regulates global changes in gene expression patterns.

Mori et al. Circadian clock protein KaiC forms ATP-dependent hexameric rings and binds DNA. PNAS 99: 17203-17208

143 words

Assignment

• Write an abstract of paper provided

• Max: 150 words

• Due: Monday, November 15 (by email)

IntroductionsBIG picture

General background, i.e., what is known

The gap: what is not known

Your question/ goalsYour

approach

Introduction structureMartínez-González et al. (2008) Adherence to Mediterranean diet and risk of developing diabetes:

prospective cohort study. BMJ

Diabetes mellitus is an increasingly important global public health problem that threatens to reach pandemic levels by 2030.As some randomised trials have consistently shown, increased physical activity and weight loss are efficient approaches for the control and prevention of type 2 diabetes. Diet has also long been believed to be an important risk factor for diabetes.

First paragraph: What is known about risk factors for diabetes

Many studies have shown that the Mediterranean food pattern has a role in prevention of cardiovascular disease.The similarity of some risk factors and some empirical and mechanistic evidence suggest that the Mediterranean diet can also protect against diabetes. The major protective characteristics include a high intake of fibre, a high intake of vegetable fat, a low intake of trans fatty acids, and a moderate intake of alcohol. Moreover, a particular feature of the diet is the abundant use of virgin olive oil for cooking, frying, spreading on bread, or dressing salads.This leads to a high ratio of monounsaturated fatty acids to saturated fatty acids. This ratio can be used to score adherence to a Mediterranean diet as the traditional diet. Despite having a relatively high total fat content, this food pattern is rich in monounsaturated fatty acids (from olive oil) and poor in saturated fatty acids. Diets rich in monounsaturated fatty acids improve lipid profiles and glycaemic control in people with diabetes, suggesting that a high intake improves insulin sensitivity.Together these associations suggest the hypothesis that following an overall pattern of Mediterranean diet can protect against diabetes. In addition to having a long tradition of use without evidence of harm, a Mediterranean diet is highly palatable, and people are likely to comply with it.

Second paragraph: What is known about the Mediterranean diet and diabetes

Few prospective studies have evaluated the specific role of the Mediterranean diet on the risk of developing diabetes in initially healthy Mediterranean populations. A prospective follow-up study recently reported an inverse association between adherence to the diet and the incidence of diabetes. All members of that study, however, had survived a previous myocardial infarction and the tool to assess dietary habits had inherent limitations because it included only a short list of items, and the authors did not attempt to measure the entire diet.

Third paragraph : What is not known about the Mediterranean diet and diabetes

We evaluated the association between adherence to a Mediterranean diet and the incidence of diabetes using a full validated food frequency questionnaire to measure the entire diet.

Fourth paragraph: What this study did and why it’s better than previous studies

Point APoint B

Point C

Point D

Plagiarism of structure = bad

ProblemModel/ system

Question

Your approach

Emulation = good

Assignment

• Write a 1-1.5 page Introduction for a NSERC Discovery Grant

• single-spaced, 12 pt font, with 2.5 cm margins• Use two major headings: (1) Objectives and (2)

Background.  You may also use subheadings within these major headings.

• Include references (not included in the space limit).

• Due: Monday, November 22 (by email, as Word document)