when you go home

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WHEN YOU GO HOME

LIVING THE WAY OF LISTENING TO GOD

Kit McDermott

Klesis MinistriesSimsbury, Connecticut


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For additional copies, or for information about the ministries

of Klesis, please contact:

Kit or Tricia McDermott

P.O. Box 202

West Simsbury, CT 06092

860.651.1594

E-mail: [email protected]

Web: www.Klesis.org

2000 by Kit McDermott

All right reserved. This book, or

parts thereof, may not be reproduced in

any form without written permission from

the author.

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P P P

Now that you are heading back home, heading back into your life, it is time to talkabout what you have experienced the last few days on retreat with God. He spoke deeply toyour heart, drawing you closer into an intimate relationship with Himself. You heard Hisvoice in the quiet. He taught you things about who He is, who you are, and what life with

Him is about. You had to do nothing but listen and respond to Him. In the course of being onretreat, He might have healed you or strengthened you or encouraged you. Whatever thefocus of your dialogues with Him, you know you were touched, maybe even transformed, bybeing alone with the living God. Giving Him time and attention has opened a way of relatingto Jesus that is new and fulfilling.

Perhaps you have experienced the normal fear that everyone who comes here onretreat experiences. The fear that what you have had with Him these last few days willgradually disappear as you get caught up once again with family, work, running a household,doing ministry, or whatever. You fear that something special has taken place and youremember the spiritual condition you were in when you arrived on retreat. You hunger formore of God and do not want to let your soul dry out the way it has in the past.

While the challenge of maintaining a deep and intimate relationship with Jesus in thebreakneck paced life most of us lead is very real, remember that God called you here in spiteof your life. He spoke to your need, and can keep you near Him anywhere you go.

Such a magnificent truth needs to settle in your mind once and for all. He can doimmeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according toHispowerthat is at work withinus (Eph.3:20). He called you to learn intimacy with Him. If you are willing to trust God andobey Him in learning to blend the routines and responsibilities of your life through His call,He will help you succeed.

LISTENING TO GOD IS A WAY OF LIVING, NOT A SPIRITUAL TECHNIQUE

Remember that listening to the One who loves you and calls you to abundant livingin grace is a way of going about each day, not simply another technique to add to your belt ofspiritual tools. As with any relationship, there is a great need to communicate from the heart.The act of listening to God each day opens the way to a deepening communion of hearts-Hisand yours. This communion occurs at such a level in the heart that you will be changed in theprocess. You will discover that your heart longs after God with increased desire. Being alonewith him can impassion your relationship, and alter your perspective of the normal ups anddowns of life.

Think about it. Recall back to being in love for the first time: the excitement, the yell-out-loud joy, luscious feelings of intoxication, the ache of longing, and the sheer vitality oflife surging through your veins. That was passion. Being near the Lover of your soul makeslife rich and exciting. Hearing Him speak to you kindles a deep-springs desire for greaterunion. Daily life gains savor because the One who longs after you is near and waits to bealone with you again.

Rather than simply having a quiet time as one of your spiritual routines ordisciplines, you learn how to practice the presence of God. That helps you not separate

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your spiritual life from the rest of what you do. Listening becomes the means of letting Godshape how you actually spend your day. Your thought life gradually conforms to God'sstandards. Your attitudes become sanctified over time because you are allowing the HolySpirit to speak to what you actually believe. In effect, you learn to keep your mind tunedtoward God in the midst of going about your business from one day to the next. Because youhave become sensitized to the still, small voice of the Spirit in the moment, you can hear

Him speak into the details of your life.

All that having been said, there is something you need to do before you get caught upin the life waiting when you get off the plane or drive into your driveway. Commit right nowto learn how to listen to God as a key part of your daily life. Ask the Holy Spirit to help younot only set aside daily time to be alone with Jesus, but to train your mind to turn towardlistening throughout the day. You have to commit to this practice as a way of living and thenallow God to enable your ability to follow.

This way of life perspective is critical to allow what God has begun in you to sinkfar down into your heart and soul. Otherwise, it will gradually fade under the weight of yourroles and responsibilities. Don't let it. A mind resolved mixed with grace, is the volatile fuel

for life change and for yielding Kingdom fruit. Too many of us just wish that spiritualdiscipline would be easy. We want God to make us disciplined with minimal dis-ease ormaximum convenience. You need to resolve to grow in listening and then ask for God to givethe grace necessary to strengthen and enable you.

LISTENING TO GOD IS A CALL TO INTIMACY

We have tried to demonstrate in many ways during your retreat that when you beginto give time regularly to God for listening to Him, you are beginning to surrender to aninvitation. You are being invited to let Him draw you into an intimate relationship withHimself - the One who loves you beyond what you can imagine.

As you learn to enter into the quiet with God, He will often speak tenderly to you likea father, a friend, a lover. His words have life in them, and He knows where your heart needsto be comforted, revived, refreshed and encouraged. His is a passionate love for you, and Hedesires that you surrender to the truth of this love and then give it back freely. Intimacymeans coming in close. Learning to still the mind and heart to hear Him speak is the first stepin accepting unconditional love based in the lavish sacrificing of the Son by the Father - thatyou might become a dearly loved son or daughter (1Jn. 3:1).

Listening also creates intimacy. As you learn to hear and trust His love for you, youare able to be open with Him about the joys and sorrows of your life. You can be honest,even in your doubts. You dont need to hide behind a wall, becauseyou have heard Him call

your name and say I love you again and again. He knows you and still pursues you. Comeclose to Him. Say that you believe His words, and are willing to risk opening yourself toHim. Know His great delight when you do so.

As the days move into months and you have grown more secure in your relationshipwith Him - because you have been listening - you will notice a change in your spirit.Gradually, you will enjoy Him with increasing pleasure because you know Him in your heart.Less and less will you question His love for you based onyourfaithfulness, merit or

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performance. As you go deeper, even turmoil or tragedy will not so easily tempt you to callinto question whether He is loving or good. You have gotten to know Him more personallysuch that stable trust and desire for communion have begun to form.

Recognize this call to intimacy will also expose your own fickle and tepid love forJesus at times. More than once, I have had someone on retreat say with perplexity: Well, if I

have experienced such love, and I have, and I know how wonderful it is to be with Him, howcome I let other things get in the way and end up not spending time with Him? Truth be told,we have a frightfully limited capacity for intimacy because we are, by nature, lovers of selfand self protectors. Intimacy can be work. Intimacy always involves risk. That the ardentpursuer is God seems to make little difference. This is some of the sadness of the humancondition, but He knows this full well.

The good news is that intimacy with God comes gradually as you keep on presenting

yourself to Him. We are always responders to His initiative, His passionate initiative. He hasinvited you to come in close, and will supply the grace you need to keep heading towardHim. Again, we are all needy and must rely on His help to be intimate. Relax with your needfor Gods help. Rest assured that His desire for intimacy with you is far greater than you can

picture, and He will do what is necessary to draw you close if you, but ask Him.

In my own life, I knew the Gospel, had a pretty clear understanding of grace, andgenerally figured that the somewhat distant, cool relationship I had with Jesus was enough.Listening clobbered my safe malaise. When Jesus, through the Holy Spirit, invited me into anintimate relationship, I was won over, and convinced He really loved me. He drew close tome, and unlocked many of the barriers I had in place to protect the soft parts of my heart.He spoke in such a way that I was enabled to see Him as He is, and feel free to draw near.While still a great mystery to me, I am settled His love for me is utterly true. I can live withthat.

THE FIRST WEEK BACK

Many of you will hit the ground running when you step off the plane or get out ofyour car. Some of you already know that; others of you will find out a few minutes into yourreturn home. I would like to suggest a few things you can do to carry forward what youlearned on retreat to establish what we are calling a way of living.

If you can, the very first day back from retreat, get up early in the morning, find aquiet place, and sit alone with the Lord. Worship Him by expressing your thanks foreverything He said to you and did for you while on retreat. Go back through yourConnecticut journal and savor every bit in His presence. Talk to Him about how blessedyou were by all that He revealed. Simply sit with Him as you review your retreat journal.

A day or two later, get up early, go into the quiet again, and ask Him to speak to youabout how He wants this process of listening prayer to grow in your life. Record what youhear. Invite Him to help make time for Him. Let Him be the Lord of how He wants you towalk with Him in the flow of your life. Acknowledge your utter dependence on Him for eventhis need. Then, just sit quietly and enjoy Him in the refuge of your own home, or whereveryou have chosen as the place for prayer.

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A day or two later, spend early morning time in the silence with Jesus again. Start byjust being still and quiet. Take your time. Learn how to just rest in Him. Worship, readScripture, slowly and meditatively. When it seems right, ask Jesus if there is anything Hewould like to say to you. Wait without making the experience happen. Write down whatyou hear. Thank Him for His faithfulness.

I suggest during this first week, you look up all the Scriptures you can that include theword listen orhear, or any of its forms and derivatives. Write them down to reflect on later. Ifyou were reading a book on listening prayer, or the Christian spiritual life while on retreat andwant to finish it, order it the first week. If you have a copy, try to read some each day to keepyour mind on the things you learned while with us.

The important thing to do the first week back is get started on incorporating listeningprayer into your routine so that it becomes a part of your life, not just a one time mountaintop experience. Talk to somebody about the experience to kind of relive it. Perhaps speakwith someone else who has been on retreat here as well. Anything you can do to carryforward your retreat experience will benefit you in this regard.

BE PATIENT WITH YOURSELF; PRESS ON!

Often what becomes apparent in the first few weeks of re-entry is the reality thatold patterns die hard. Little by little, you established habits and routines that war againstspending time with God. Fairly quickly, you will see that ingrained patterns are not easily letgo. You have kids to take care of, a spouse with whom to share life, chores to do, a businessor ministry to run, and they all legitimately compete for your attention. While you have allsorts of obstacles to navigate now, dont throw up your arms in defeat and say, So much forfinding time to listen.

In the face of such pressures and pulls, you have to persist resolutely. Because

listening to God is a way of living, you will need to keep at it when inevitable intrusionsthrow you off-track. Balancing activities with solitude takes repetition and effort. From aphrase Eugene Peterson coined in a book title, realize that learning to relate to God this way ismore a long obedience in the same direction than a pick it up quickly and race aheadendeavor. You will grow gradually if you commit to developing a patient and persistent wayof relating to God. Be longsuffering with yourself and it will pay off.

Do not be discouraged by setbacks; they can strengthen your resolve if you allowthem. Keep your eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith. If you run aground,call out to Him, and ask for the grace to get back to listening. You will have many periods ofdistraction, illness, over-busyness, discouragement, and laziness. Be patient with yourself.Trust the Holy Spirit to help you keep what you learned on retreat. Remember that Jesus

wants to be alone with you. He will help you. You are in for the long haul. Seeing it this waywill steel you when you struggle.

CREATE A SACRED SPACE

Remember that in your home individual rooms are set up for certain functions: thekitchen for preparing food, the dining room for eating, the living room for family fellowship,

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etc. Since we have been challenging you to see listening to God as a way of life, it makessense to suggest that you consider creating a sacred space in your home. This is a place setaside for listening prayer and other devotional activities.

We recognize that perhaps your house does not have a room available for such apurpose, but with a little thought and ingenuity you can set apart a place in your home that

will work well. Ask God to tell you where He might like you to make one. It might actuallybe right under your nose. We have had people come up with some surprising ideas:

a childs fort in the backyard a utility closet a pickup truck in a field at the corner of the property a favorite chair in the dining area overlooking the garden

The important notion here is to make a place set aside for the purpose of meetingalone with God to dialogue with Him. It doesn't need to be fancy or complicated in design.All you need is a chair and a small table to start. To help you set the mood and create theatmosphere for prayer you can use tools like a candle, a cross, an icon, or the objects you

might have brought home from walking the CPC property.

Anything that will draw you into God's presence is beneficial. Make the space youcreate comfortable and personal. Let your family know that the space is to be used just forprayer. Invite them to use it that way or perhaps pray with them in the sacred space. Maybehave a simple liturgy to dedicate it to God.

Any way you attempt to create a space for God in your heart and in your home willhelp you develop and hold to the practice of being alone with Him to listen for His voice oftruth, love, and healing. Remember you are not creating some sort of shrine, just a place tomeet a cherished friend. Think of it in the same way you would a guest bedroom -- a placewhere someone you care deeply for is welcome to dwell in your house and be with you.

MAKE THE RIGHT TIME

One of the great hindrances people face in listening to God is not being able to setaside the right time in their schedules to maintain consistency. They are either too ambitious,deciding to get up every day at 4 a.m. rain or shine, or they leave the retreat hoping to findatime when they get back, only to be swallowed up by the deluge of activity that quicklyinundates them.

Said simply, you need to be realistic and conservative with setting a listening

schedule until you find a flow that makes sense with the pace of your life. The point is todevelop a schedule you can keep over the long haul. For those of you who exercise regularly,notice how you have set aside time to stay in shape, and in a manner that fits your lifestyle.The same principle holds true for listening prayer: better to be able to meet realistically withGod two to three times per week than to try to be more ambitious, and stop meeting with Himaltogether in a month's time.

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I have experimented with early morning, early-early morning, noon time, and lateevening to see what works best for my life. Overall, the early morning time works well forme, and I am not a morning personper se. I have observed over the years that the scheduleyou set will change as your life changes, but if you have developed the habit of listening, youwill find it easier to get back on track if an illness, a life transition like a move or job change,or a season of forgive me Lord, I am too tired to do this derails your best intentions.

Second, whatever time you pick, make sure you can really be alone and quiet. Earlymorning seems to be best because you are fresh and the house is quiet. Keep your time withGod consistent, and try to make sure you will not be interrupted by phones, visits fromneighbors, or kid crises. You need to have a sense you are getting away to be with God.Perhaps going for a walk to dialogue with Jesus in your journal is what you will need to do toavoid at-home distractions. Again, the goal of this time away is to connect with God in thestillness of your heart. A wisely chosen listening schedule will yield the happy results ofseeing your relationship with the Lord change as you slowly grow closer to Him. Growingcloser to Him is one of the mostlife-giving fruits of seeking to hear Him without distraction.

KEEP A PRAYER JOURNAL

As we tried to teach you on yourLearning to Listen orListening in Christretreat,writing down your prayers and what you hear God say back is a critical piece of thisdiscipline. As the days pass and you continue to listen and record Gods responses, you createa building testimony to your relationship with Him as He speaks life to you that is intimateand personal.

Even if you would not call yourself a writer, keeping this kind of journal is not aboutthe writing. It is more like a heartfelt dialogue between two lovers. Write out the prayers ofyour heart, ask practical questions, and try to find out more of who God is. Every bit of it is atreasure worthy of recording. Then, after having written what He has said, let His words

return again and again to you. For people like me who have piddly memories, you can goback in the past and hear God's words again, or be reminded of His faithfulness, andoccasionally, of your all-to-human forgetfulness. In this way, you can make sure you dontforget something He told you to do because you have it written down. The act of writinghelps cement His words in your mind, and the act of rereading safeguards your tendency toforget.

Ultimately, your journal is for you and God. It is not for the eyes of others. You canmake it as personal, intimate, and honest as you like. Pour out your heart freely. Write downwhat God speaks without editing, and get to know Him better through the unfolding dialogue.

I should also point out that some days you will speak to God in the pages of your

journal, or ask him questions there, and He will be silent. Remember that God is sovereign;He speaks when and as He chooses. Don't be discouraged by the silence. He has reasons foryour good in not addressing your questions or responding to your words. On other occasions,you will ask Him a question and He will go in another direction with something He sees asmore important. You live on every word that comes from the mouth of God (Mt. 4:4), and Heknows your need, so relax. In my experience, I find that with the exception of one extendedperiod of time in the last thirteen years, the times of silence are short-lived. What He has tosay to me is always what I need to hear even if I felt certain I needed to hear something else.

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MAINTAIN A RETREAT SCHEDULE

We always tell people who have come on retreat that they need to add a retreatschedule to their listening life style. Times set aside periodically each year spending anentire day listening to God is a powerful way to say no to the stubborn demands of habitualbusyness. This kind of Sabbath reasserts the preeminence of Jesus command to Seek firsthis kingdom, and his righteousness (Mt. 6:33), and your need to walk closely with the livingGod. Regularly going on retreat helps you turn your back on the insistent demands ofmaintaining your preferred standard of living, meeting everyone's need, or satisfying thedictates of a never-satisfied ego.

You might think maintaining a personal retreat schedule for Tricia or me is arelatively easy because we are retreat leaders, and we live at a retreat center on a piece of landset aside by the Lord for that purpose. Jumping to conclusions is always dangerous! Cuttingout a space in our schedules for a personal retreat is as hard for us as it is for you! But havinglet you in on that well kept secret, I need also to say that every year, usually in the late springor early summer months, I have a favorite place in the mountains of Northern Connecticut toget away for a day. This bucolic setting is on an overhang adjacent to a rather spectacularwaterfall. I sit there all day, out of view, listening to God and drinking in the solitude. Whilenot an overnight retreat, the outing does my soul good because it becomes a day set aside tobe with Jesus.

So you see, a personal retreat can be simple. If you are near a rural area, you can headoff to a state park, a hiking trail, or the farm of a friend. If you live in a city, head for the parkor a church where the sanctuary is unused. One friend has even rented a hotel room for theday. Perhaps there is a retreat center, house of prayer, or monastery nearby where you can getaway. Even the house of a friend who is on holiday will do the trick. There are many optionsto pick from, more than you might expect at first. You just need to put a little prayer and

thought into it. Sacrificing the time opens the way for abundance. Your investment is smallcompared to return you will receive.

The point is you need a quiet place where you can be alone, cloistered from normaldistractions. Bring your bible, a notebook, some food and drink for the day. Or maybe fast, ifyou hear a call to that discipline. Plan to stay all day just to dialogue with God. Before yougo, lay out the issue or questions you want to talk about with Him, or just go with no agenda,letting God take the initiative.

Some ideal times for a retreat are: during the first week of the New Year, GoodFriday, or any time in Lent. Advent season retreats are a nice antidote to the craziness thatwill soon overtake you as Christmas revs up. I know someone who spends time alone with

God on milestone days like a 50th or 60th birthday. Any major, life-changing decisionshould be accompanied by at least one day away: I took three days to listen for God aboutwhether to become an ordained elder. We set aside a monthly staff listening day at Klesis.

Some of you might prefer a directed day away under the guidance of a spiritualdirector. You will need to go to a retreat center for that. However you choose, it is importantto establish a regular regimen of halting the pace by going away on retreat for at least a day toreconnect, re-orient, refresh, and re-focus. You have just experienced the wonderful fruit that

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giving God as much time and individual attention as possible produces. Again, rememberlistening is a way of living, not a hobby or one-time, mountain-top experience.

As you might have become aware, a weekend is better than a day, and three or fourdays is better than a weekend for a retreat. I know a teacher who takes at least week beforethe semester starts in the fall to ground himself in Gods presence. He goes alone and for the

most part stays silent: listening, praying and reflecting. He has practiced this discipline formany years, and will not give up the opportunity if he has any say in the matter. It hasbecome a cherished part of his lifestyle.

FIND A SPIRITUAL DIRECTOR

When you were here with us, Tricia and I acted as spiritual directors, helping youdiscern what God was saying and doing as you listened each day. A sensitive person withexperience in the things of the Spirit can walk with you through the hills and dales of lifeoffering godly insight that you are not alone when the road gets bewildering or just plainhard. We all need such insight from time to time.

While the office of spiritual director is not as prevalent as that of pastor or counselorin the US, their numbers are growing. The need is real. Roman Catholics, Anglicans,Episcopalians, Methodists, and even Presbyterians have spiritual directors available. Often,you can find them at retreat centers, monasteries, or some churches. You might even stumbleacross one at a Pastoral Counseling Center. Their ministry is being seen as vital to growing inspiritual maturity.

We heartily recommend you find a spiritual director. Your spiritual life stays vitallyin the forefront of your life when you do. Having to talk to someone about what God is doing,how He is speaking, or where you are struggling fights against the tendency to let other partsof living dominate and crowd out praying, listening, and reflecting. These disciplines are

strong in maturing the spiritual life, but fragile in maintaining a place of prominence in yourlife unless you choose to keep them there. Having to be accountable to a spiritual directormakes it easier to do so.

Another possibility for direction --if you can't seem to locate a trained spiritualdirector -- is to ask God to show you a spiritual father or mother in your local church whocould walk with you in the same way. Someone who has demonstrated:

godliness and spiritual maturity a sensitivity to the Holy Spirit humility a life of prayer and reflection biblical and/or theological knowledge the ability to traverse life's trials, afflictions, and losses with integrity a clearly demonstrated love of God and His people an ability to empathize with others and communicate clearly

These people are more than likely in your church and might be very willing to help you onceyou have communicated your spiritual need. The Holy Spirit can use such saints powerfully

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in your life; you will always benefit from the wisdom and insight of a man or woman whohas walked with the Lord for many years, allowing Jesus to mold and shape him or her.

Whomever the person ends up being as your spiritual director, it is important for youto invite this kind of discipline in your life. The regularity of meeting to talk of spiritualmatters builds a sense of reality into your relationship with God. Without the prayerful input

of a wise spiritual friend, your life with Christ can stagnate and become routine because noone is often pressing you to grow. Most of us Protestants are used to a just Jesus and mementality that is fraught with dangers. Opening your soul to a person full of the Spirit goes along way toward lessening spiritual shortsightedness or even blindness that can overtake thecomplacently unaware.

CONTINUE TO READ SPIRITUAL BOOKS

I hope it goes without saying that part of your daily walk with God includes time inthe Scriptures, listening to the Holy Spirit teach you truth. Periods of study that includeLectio Divina draw you deep into the presence of God so that you walk in the light as Heis in the light (1 Jn. 1:7). Fellowship with God is both sitting under His teaching, andletting it soak into your soul when alone with Him. The right balance in reading the Bibleshould include study and really listening to the Word as you read it. Then, the Wordencourages the mind and heart.

Your goal should be to walk in Gods ways, hiding the Word in your heart and lettingHim guide your steps as you encounter the joys and sorrows of your life. The Word is livingand active (He. 4:12). It penetrates deep and exposes truth often hidden from us, especiallyin areas of sin and woundedness. The Holy Spirit opens the Scripture to lead us into the truthso we can be free. If the Scripture is dull or dry to you, chances are you are skimming alongthe surface of your life and need to let God submerge you into the truth. You do that bysitting under the Word through the teaching of the Spirit in the quiet.

Second, but also important, is the time you give to reading spiritual books. By thatphrase I mean books written about the Christian life by Christians, ancient and contemporary,who have walked a similar spiritual path before you, and offer much wisdom to consider.From their experiences, and reflection on those experiences, we can learn ways of respondingto life that encourage us, comfort us, correct and strengthen us. These books can be fiction ornonfiction, from any denomination in Christendom, from any nation on the earth. Regardless,there are treasures to be found hidden in them, especially the ones that help us surrender morewholeheartedly to God.

We gave you a bibliography with authors and titles that have been wonderfulresources to us as we have learned to listen to, and follow Jesus. Any of those books will

draw you near to Him, but there are countless other books to help you along the way as well.The goal of reading them is intimacy with God leading to Christ-likeness, godliness, andholiness in the faith. They should not be read in place of the Scripture, but as a complement toit.

Again, reading these kinds of books is another way you can balance the practicaldemands of your life with the inner longings of your heart for the living God. As with the

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Scripture, read them slowly, savor each insight God gives, let wisdom and truth penetrate intothe deep recesses of your spirit. Write down what you notice and hear as you read.

I have found it important to vary my reading to include stories as well as essays.Right now, I am focusing on fiction, letting the vehicle of story help me reflect on God tokeep my heart and mind turned toward Him. My practice for many years was to read mostly

nonfiction, but I have noticed that doing so tends to dry out my heart; I lose a sense ofwonder. Story and poetry have a fresh way of telling truth that essays or how-to works cannotparallel. I have also found that biographies or autobiographies of the great saints over thecenturies have the same effect of inspiring me to come closer to Jesus.

There are so many riches to be had in what other brothers and sisters with the writinggift have to say about God, the world, and you. Sow the seeds available in their words andyou will soon reap the fruit of intimacy with God.

PRACTICE SABBATH

Another means to deepen the spiritual sensibilities you have gained on retreat is totruly observe the Sabbath as a day of rest apart from all kinds of work, catching up with stuffat home included.

You became aware on retreat in Simsbury of how giving God time to speak, beingable to turn your thoughts and focus your spiritual ears toward Him opened you to hearHim speak behind the noise. You set aside your work and made time to give your bestattention to Him. You took a Sabbath rest from your normal activities and obligations.

God has provided a glorious day each week where we can give time to listening andreflection. But many Christians do not take advantage of the blessings this day holds. Whilewe are not to make a new law about observing the Sabbath, and earn no new favor with God

in its keeping, we miss out on magnificent blessings if we just fill the Sabbath with morework after going to church. Getting a jump on Monday by working Sunday night is just oneexample of working when we should be enjoying the spiritual and relational fruits of Godsday of rest.

I have taken the call to rest on the Sabbath seriously over the years, and this simpleact has made me more aware of the inner sense of peace that comes from laying aside toilsand troubles each week to honor God. In keeping the Sabbath, I acknowledge that it is not mylabor, ingenuity, or giftedness that meets my needs, but Gods full provision and completesufficiency. I do not have to fill every waking minute with work to live fully and well. Inturn, practicing Sabbath becomes part of the listening way of life because you and I caninterrupt the constant flow of activity we are invited to live, say no to it, and say yes to being

in Gods presence.

To take full advantage of Sabbath as a setting for listening, begin to refuse to work onthat day. You might stop preparing for Mondays craziness. You might mow the lawn or rakethe leaves on Saturday. You could politely say no to that church meeting that could only bescheduled for Sunday because everything else was filled. Go for a walk with family; take anap; eat out; visit the folks; go to a Sunday afternoon movie. Then, use late Sunday afternoon

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or early evening for a time of listening. Maybe gather the family for prayer, then go into thequiet to finish the day before the evening ends with a family time.

Whatever way you choose, observe the Sabbath. The listening lifestyle you are tryingto develop will surely take shape because you are changing your perspective from perpetualdoing to a balance of doing and being -- being still and attentive to God. Once again you

can practice saying no to the ceaseless demands of our culture of endless enticements, and sayyes to the eternal presence of the kingdom of God that anchors all of life in peace, truth, andlove.

NOTICE GODS LAVISH GRACE

Many of you have heard the phrase: practicing the presence of God. It comes froma simple monastic kitchen worker in the 17th century named Brother Lawrence. Thissomewhat awkward phrase captures the idea of being continually in the presence of Godthrough a quiet inward dialogue with Him, regardless of how busy or preoccupied you are.

Along similar lines is an awareness of Gods presence throughout a typical day asexpressed in all the grace He lavishes over each of His Beloved. The way of listening beginsto sensitize you to this marvelous reality. Remember that many of us live like racehorses withblinders on. We often focus singularly on where we strive to get. I am convinced that weare oblivious to all but the most overt expressions of Gods grace in the course of a normalday. We live as if the fact that He is unseen must mean also that He does not place all sorts oftreasures and signposts in the day to get our attention. If it is true that since the creation ofthe world Gods invisible qualities -- his eternal power and divine nature -- have been clearlyseen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse (Ro.1:20),our lack of spiritual acuity is a scandalous state of affairs. Sadder still is the fact that we canbe so satisfied with so little of Gods presence.

Well then, how do you notice Gods lavish grace? By continuing the practice oflistening to Him you increase your ability to carry listening forward into activities where yourattention might be turned elsewhere, such as when you are toiling at work, for instance.Because you are pursuing training yourself in this spiritual discipline, you are also learning tomake yourself available to God when He tries to get your attention.

As this sensitizing unfolds you might notice a longing growing in you to be nearJesus, to regularly turn your heart toward Him rather than stay occupied with other things. Ifyou invite Gods grace to further deepen your longing, your desire will be more and morefocused toward Him. As that progresses, you can begin to see how He is all over theunfolding of a typical day, giving grace through: the morning dawning bright, cool, and clear,a kind word catching you off guard, finally getting through the pile of papers on your desk,

being curiously at peace just before you have to talk to the boss, getting a moment to catchyour breath before the kids get home from school, having to tackle a problem that will takeyour deepest faith and best effort to solve, and on it goes.

God manifests evidence of His presence and pours forth all manner of grace everyday, and what you learned on retreat will enable you to see Gods imprint on everythingbecause you are paying attention: you look, notice, and see. Remember that His lavish graceis often discovered in the littlest, the simplest, the plainest, and most ordinary of things. You

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just need to notice it. By inviting you on retreat, meeting you here, and teaching you how tolisten and notice, He has placed you on a path of deep blessing that will carry forward as youlook and listen for His Presence in the unfolding of a homely, routine day. In plain terms: thesame old, same old is a window of wonders.

BLOCKS IN THE ROAD

Fair enough, but you and I know full well that when you return home, most of thesame problems, responsibilities, obligations, and relationships await you like ravenous andgreedy birdlings clamoring to be fed. While on retreat, you were able to set aside the tugs,pulls, and expectations of other things and simply receive what God offered. The grace andleisure you experienced will most likely disappear, and quickly. For some of you, it will feellike being knocked over by a tidal wave when you walk through your front door.

So, what should you do? How do you hold on to what God has taught you? Wherewill you find time in the rush? How will you move forward in a different way?

First, be encouraged. God is God. He did not teach you how to listen to then abandonyou to the wolves of life. But there are some things you will have to do, as well. This is whereyour resolve to walk in what you have learned comes in to play. The road ahead might attimes be daunting, perhaps even appear impossible, but with courage, diligence, and a senseof humor you will make your way through all the roadblocks and obstacles. Anything ofspiritual worth has to be tested and tempered in order for impurities to be burnt out togradually reveal what will stand for eternity.

The Time Problem:

You will not have as much time to spend with God, as you might want. Just settle thatonce and for all. But, you willhave time. Decide right now to carve out time and establish itin among all the other things you choose to do. Even an hour three times per week will besufficient to carry forward what you were given here on retreat: resolve to master the timeproblem. Without your determination to make it a part of your life, you will starve to deathyour newborn discipline of listening.

As we mentioned earlier, right after you get home (preferably the next morning), gointo the quiet and ask God to show when He wants you to make time for Him in the very realdemands you have. Demands will always compete for your limited energies, so you mustestablish early the practice of being alone with God as non-negotiable. Otherwise, relentlessforces arrayed against such sojourning will slowly erode it. Face this problem like you wouldget in shape, find a job, reduce your debt, or learn a new skill. Carve out time and guard itzealously as you would your wallet at a convention of master pickpockets!

Relationship Tensions:

Some of you came on retreat partly to sort through long standing marriage orrelationship problems. They will be there when you get home. Your spouse, child, parent,boss, or friend did not come with you on retreat. Even if God has powerfully changed you, orhow you view your troubling situation, most likely the other people involved will be the same

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as when you left. Accept that fact. You must not expect them to feel the joy or wonder youfeel from being touched deeply by God. Occasionally, people return home from here, andshare the many blessings they have received only to be disappointed by the cool response, orlack of interest they receive. No one can really expect differently. What happened to you ishard to put into words, and others must experience it in order to know the full effect.

Therefore, be gentle and considerate. If asked, share from your heart, but go slowly.If the other person wants to know more, he or she will feel free to ask if you arestraightforward and simple in your responses.

Again, do not expect a person who has been hurting, exasperating, or troubling to youto be changed because you might be. Some people, out of deep desire or wishful thinking,deceive themselves into thinking that because they have been profoundly affected, the otherperson will be so too. It has been our experience that this is the very rare exception rather thanthe rule. Better to concentrate on what God has done and is doing in you because of theretreat, than how it might affect your relationship with the other person.

With that sobering thought in mind, just be patient. If, while here, God told you to

respond to the person you are struggling with in a certain way, then do it under the timing andguidance of the Holy Spirit. If He was at work in the relationship, and part of what needed tohappen is for you to come on retreat, then continue in faith knowing that He will heal orresolve as He sees fit. Just make sure you faithfully do your part as He has led you.

Retreatants also mistakenly blunder into exerting pressure on a spouse, friend, orfamily member to go on a similar retreat. Because you were moved so powerfully by Godstender, gracious, and loving faithfulness to meet you in adeep place on retreat, you naturallywant that for people you care for. Did God get you to Simsbury by badgering you intosubmitting? Remember that we at Klesis and the Center For Renewal assume people comeon retreat here because God has sovereignly sent them. If that is true in your case, and webelieve it is, then if He wants your person to come, He will engineer that in due time without

you making it happen. Pray for them to respond when He calls.

Feel free to express your desire for the person to come here, but let your touch belight, and your enthusiasm gentle. If the people you live with openly dismiss or ridicule yourexperiences on retreat, bless them quietly, and hide what you were given in your heart whilearound them. Sometimes your adversary the devil likes to steal the blessing you received bybelittling or mocking it through people you care for. Give it no attention. What God hasblessed you with will not be taken away if you trust Him in the midst of this kind ofharassment. It may not be easy to listen to, but bearable if you keep your gaze on the Onewho has shown such love for you.

Interruptions:

You willbe interrupted on this journey toward deepening intimacy with Jesus throughlistening prayer. Count on it. Dont be surprised or deflated by their presence. They are thereal stuff of life, and can be negotiated with grace and resolve. Sometimes they will come inthe form of sickness or injury. Job changes and demands for increased time will intrude morethan once. There will be vacations and moves. Family crises will threaten to steal your peace,

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and disrupt your time alone with Jesus. The story is not over, however. As a friend notesoften: The end game has been won.

Internally you will go through the classic dry periods when your attempts atintimacy feel like straw, your emotions flatter than a spent balloon, your prayers deader thantax code, and the heavens locked up tighter than a vault at Chase Manhattan. The Long, Dark

Night of the Soulcan descend at any time, making listening seem futile or sterile. Then, thereare times when your faith seems to fade for a stretch and you cant muster up belief enough tohear anything. All normal.

Life throws every manner of interruption at us. Resolving to press ahead even whenthere are nagging halts in your progress will help protect this way of living built fromlistening and grow you closer to Christ as a result. To be sure, interruptions serve to createrock hard resolve, or they reveal stubborn weaknesses in us that affect other parts of our livesfor the worse. Either way, interruptions are a gift sent to teach and train us in courageous faithand stubborn trust. View them that way, and get on with the training right where you are.

Interruptions dishearten many until they realize they can be weathered with little or no

ill effect on the spiritual life cultivated from coming in close. Expect them; walk throughthem; be at peace with them; learn from them, and you will preserve what you have beengiven from the Lord. No one who has persevered through the struggles of life lets inevitableinterruptions steal what is valuable in the long run. They see them for what they are, do whatthey can, and leave the rest to God.

Opportunities That Glitter and Glow:

Some of you are frightfully successful in what you do. So successful, in fact that theopportunities presented to you constantly because of our diligence, zeal, and hard workbecome stern taskmasters. They demand the best your time and attention, and they glitter so

brightly. You reach a level of prominence and mastery in your work where everyone wants achunk of you.

This predicament is especially troubling if the opportunities offered lie in endeavorsthat you have longed to fulfill, or fall in direct line with your gifts. The dissonance createdhere is obvious. You want to be doing what is stimulating or fulfilling, andyou have alsobeen touched deeply by being near Jesus on retreat. You don't want to lose the blessings ofeither.

Sadly, what I have seen happen is, gradually, the listening goes because the pulltoward pleasure or success is too inviting. It is easy to skip days with your Savior and Lordbecause the busyness is of the best sort - it hooks into who you are or want to be. Expressing

your nature and being rewarded well for it promises to lead to the realization of your dreams.When you get caught up in the successes of your efforts more and more time is spent on thoseefforts and less time is spent alone with God.

So what do you do? The answer is obvious, really. You go often into the quiet withJesus, and ask Him which opportunities need to be explored, and which need to be leftunanswered or declined. If He is to be Lord of your life, then He has to be heard in those

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fulfilling areas that seduce your time and energy. It is a matter of loyalty. Will you serve Himin all things or merely in some?

Opportunities can be thieves. Their power is in their pull where you are vulnerable.They need to submit to Christ. Present them to Him, and wait for His call to go full steamahead, stop dead in your tracks, or high tail it in another direction.

Going It Alone:

Because listening to God is often a solitary pursuit, there is an abiding sense that youare doing this utterly by yourself, apart from friends, family members, spouses, etc.Moreover, if others have not been exposed to this way of walking with Christ, you will feeleven more alone at times because they cannot relate to what you are experiencing. Some ofyou will have to continue on this path to intimacy with God without anyone to share itbecause it will be seen as super- spiritual or even suspiciously weird. Some of you might havespouses or friends who are not ready to commit to a more intimate prayer relationship, andyou have to be patient and compassionate with them. They will come along as He guides andwhen He provides the way. He wants this more than you.

On the plus side, going it alone means you will have a unique experience of God (butnot apart from one that is biblical, or not in place of the corporate experience you have withbrothers and sisters at church), that will build a testimony over the weeks, months, and yearsrevealing His goodness, faithfulness, mercy, and holiness. It is a testimony that can be rereadand savored time and again because you have written it down.

Adversarial Resistance:

Expect harassment and resistance from Satan and his minions determined to stealwhat you have been given on retreat by God. They will try to discourage and distract you inevery way possible to stop you from going farther with listening. They will try to lead youinto error by interjecting false, misleading, or unclear thoughts into your mind as you arebecoming quiet or trying to listen. If you want to get up early in the morning to spend timewith God, they will whisper in the waking up fog, Do you really have to get up? or Goahead, go back to sleep, you can do this later in the day.

Your enemy might get the phone ringing, or fill your head with a din of half-thoughtsand rabbit trails. When this happens to me, and I have heard others say it is their common

experience as well, I ignore the demands of the phone. Second, when the cacophony ofjostling thoughts threatens to derail my listening time I persist in asking the Holy Spirit toquiet my mind, or I say Jesus name quietly, but resolutely over and over until I calm down.The key to struggling well with such harassment is not to get agitated or discouraged. Youradversary wants to get you worried and frustrated about this struggle so he can gain afoothold in your mind making you feel you cannot come before God with a quiet mind.Ultimately, he wants to convince you to quit. Dont let him.

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On the other hand, there have been days when it proved futile for me to try andwrestle with my mind. When that has happened I acknowledged Gods sovereign control overall things, and put my predicament in His hands. The enemy did not win a victory; I simplyadmitted my frailty and desperate need for grace, and left things with Jesus for another day.

Another vile strategy Satan likes to use is to convince you of a sin that disqualifies

you from daring to come into Gods presence, or he will accuse you of being proud and self-centered because you think you have this private pipeline to God called listening prayer.Speaking the Scriptures is helpful here:

{ If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins andpurify us from all unrighteousness (1Jn. 1:9).

{ Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Ro.8:1).

{ He forgave us all our sins having canceled the written code, with its writtenregulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; he took it away, nailing itto the cross (Col. 3:13-4).

{ . . . .everyone who believes in him (Jesus) receives forgiveness of sins through hisname (Ac.10:43). (See also the next section on Unconfessed Sin)

{ . . . .and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and holdfast to him (Dt. 30:20).

{ When he has brought out his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheepfollow him because they know his voice (Jn. 10:4).

The Devil might also send all sorts of fears and anxieties right at the moment you aresettling in or quieting down: kids getting hurt, relatives dying, the house on fire because of astove not turned off, etc. I have had this happen with considerable force. When it has, I askthe Lord to confirm that it is from Him. If it is not a warning from God needing immediateaction (99.99% of the time it will not be), I resist the devil claiming the peace and protectionof God for my family, and me, and I leave it there. Over time, Satan less and less frequentlytries this ploy.

If you are theologically analytical or circumspect, he might tempt you into using thetime to question if God is really speaking in this way, or he might insinuate what if you arebeing lead into error by self-talk or wishful thinking? He will try to get you thinking at theexpense of listening. Or, he will get you editing everything you hear: No, thats not fromGod, or that cant be from God, or God would never say that.

I have found that it is always harmful to the listening process to second guess, edit ordebate with what I am hearing while I am hearing it. In fact, it can stop the listeningaltogether. Therefore, I have learned to resist editing or thinking about what I am hearingduring the time I write it down. Discernment comes later, not while you are listening to God.I suspect this is even what we do with each other in conversation more than we might like toadmit. We dont really hear what we are listening to.

I should also say at this point that one does need to "test the Spirits" (1Jn. 4:1), whengrowing in the practice of listening. God has given us minds to inquire and judge whetherwhat we receive is real or true. There are safeguards to apply:

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{ The Holy Spirit will not contradict either the letter or the spirit of what has alreadybeen revealed in the Scriptures. He will not tell you to violate or rationalize away God's word.Satan will give "new revelation that confuses, contradicts, or rationalizes away the clearScriptural truths."

{ The Holy Spirit typically speaks quietly and without urgency in listening prayer. Heis not rude, abrupt, or demanding. He does not condemn, harass, or mock. The adversary will

intrude into your thoughts trying to get you to act on impulse. He will condemn, mock, andargue.

{ There is an authority sensed in your spirit when God speaks. It is absent whenSatan tries to deceive.

{ God does not simply confirm all of your wishes or desires. In fact, He will oftenspeak to you about what you know you need to do, or reveal some thing hidden from othersabout you, yet true nevertheless. Satan wants you to turn listening prayer into the practice ofGod agreeing to everything you ask Him. He will tell you what you want to hear.

{ If in listening prayer, you "get a word for someone else," or are told to act quicklythere is not time to waste, be careful. In those cases:

-wait on God to confirm.- get input from mature, trusted advisors who know how to listen and have experience

with Gods ways.

{ It is best to get experience under your belt when it comes to words for others.Take your time with it. If God wants you to share with someone, He will confirm it. Yourenemy wants you to tell someone something that is in error to deceive him, and discourageyou from growing in listening.

Pray for wisdom as you listen. Ask God to alert you to the wiles of the devil. Makesure that you study the bible regularly to keep the word fresh in your heart. When your spiritsenses something does not sit right in what you have been given, test it. Use your mind.Listen to your spirit. Get input from others.

The point is, you can expect a clever and treacherous adversary who will attempt allsorts of schemes to make you stop from discouragement, distraction, or unbelief. You will betested many times, so be alerted to the fact that his intrusions seem to come just when you aregetting up, getting settled, getting quiet, or getting into a flow with God. Recognize andresist him and his effort will be derailed gradually. Dont give up because you are facing astruggle in spiritual warfare over this. It is in the "not giving up" that you win the battle.

Unconfessed Sin:

Unconfessed sin dulls the desire to be alone with God, and the guilt that builds up

because of it, threatens to turn you away from His call to intimacy. Like Adam and Eve afterthe apple, we want to hide from God when trapped in an habitual, unconfessed sin.

One way to combat this is to begin your time alone with Him each day with the endof Psalm 139:

Search me, O God, and know my heart,

test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me

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and lead me in the way everlasting.

Next, wait on God to show you what is offensive to Him. He will reveal those things.Confess them and ask for His grace to repent. Give Him the time necessary to deal with yoursin. When you sense that He is finished, thank Him for His grace, and invite Him to speak asHe would about the question you are asking, or anything else He has in mind.

Dont let sin cloud or mire your ability to come in close to Jesus. He is compassionate(Ne. 9:17), long-suffering (1Tim. 1:16), and familiar with the temptations and strugglesplaguing all of us (He. 4:15). In fact, being caught in sin or feeling guilty is exactly when tocome into the presence of God because if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and willforgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. (1Jn. 1:9)

Your most appropriate response, to coin the phrase of a friend, is to flee to grace inorder to get free when sin entangles or condemns, and be restored to fellowship in thelistening process. There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Ro.8:1), so do not let sin steal the opportunity to hear the voice of God speak words of grace,life, and peace to you.

The Problems That Wont Disappear:

Perhaps the most troubling roadblock you will face in your Christian walk, ingeneral, are problems that just seem to dog you no matter how much you pray, work at it, ordesire change. Often these come in the form of heart wrenchingly persistent relationalproblems with a spouse or a child, or they might be the unending suffering of people you lovedeeply, yet cannot help.

All of us are tempted to want simple solutions from God when things are worrisomeor desperate. We want Him to speak or act in such a way that the pain goes away or the

problem clears up. In that regard, we are simply being human. But, when we dont hear, orGod is silent, we can begin to question whether this listening business is reliable or real at all,or even worth the effort.

I have been in such a troubling place, as has Tricia. We have learned it to be a normalpart of life, however unwelcome it is at first. We have come to realize that the worst thing youcan do is give up listening. Excruciatingly painful problems or gut wrenching tragedy are allpart of the great mystery of suffering God allows in creation in order to manifest and fulfillHis gracious redemptive purposes. Listening during times of great pain is a precious act offaith, highly valued by God because He knows the heroic effort it requires in the face ofterrifying vulnerability and sometimes, crushing sorrow.

We are called to walk through these seasons of loss, grief, abandonment, heartacheand unabated trial, all the while listening for Gods priceless whispers of comfort,encouragement, or peace. The problems that dont disappear have treasures hidden inamongst the tearing thistles and thorns. They are precious, but obscured by gnawing pain.Remember they are great teachers. Listen for them just below the surface of the hurt. They arewhispering Gods Word of life, and will guard you from sinking into despair and bitterness,or from turning your back on God when He is perhaps most near you sharing your suffering.

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Even the nagging problems you face every day, those normal frustrations, pressuresand responsibilities call on you to listen. They persist for any number of reasons common tothe fallen condition of mankind, but they also point the way to deep truth that reveals howGod would have you respond and honor Him. They are there to turn you toward him incomplete dependence. From such a lowly state, you can begin to hear Him honestly, havingnothing to give: needy, tapped out, maybe even bankrupt. Listen to your pressures, pay

attention to what your problems are saying, find out the way you should walk in them, andbring glory to God as your weakness becomes the instrument of His magnificent strength.

A WORD TO YOUNG MOTHERS

As we have led retreats through the years, we have encountered a special group ofpeople who often long to come in close to Jesus through listening, but face a unique problem.You are young mothers, women with infants or toddlers. The reality of your lives is that youmust spend the bulk of your time attending to the constant needs of young children. The callto care for babies or young kids can come at any moment, night or day. So trying to keep afixed schedule of listening time might be nearly impossible for you.

What we see happen in these dear souls is that they become frustrated or guilty thatthey are not following through with their commitment to time alone with Jesus. Theydesperately need to be with Him, but childcare demands leave little time or energy for suchluxuries. Their predicament can be just downright discouraging because the needs of agrowing family are so great.

Let us try to encourage you by saying that Jesus knows the severe limits on your timeand energy because you are a young mother with little ones. He is placing no demands on youto try and squeeze Him into your day. You are in a unique season of your life with specialpriorities and needs different from anything else you will experience in life.

His invitation to you is to find Him in the demands themselves. Let Him speak to youthrough them rather than fighting against the way things are at the moment. Remember thatHe is very close to you throughout your day, in the thick of your busy life (Php. 4:5). Thisspecial, sometimes exasperating season of your life will pass soon enough, perhaps even toosoon. Savor it while you can. Jesus is there and will speak to you in the passing moments asyou learn to listen to Him in their midst.

In due season, little oases of peace and quiet will begin popping up from time to time,

and you will be able to get alone with Him. Rest assured: such days are coming. Entrust yourlonging to Him and He will guard it for the day when a regular schedule will be possible. Hewants this even more than do you.

A WORD TO MEN

What I am going to say to you comes from one of your own "tribe". I know fromexperience that men generally have a harder time than women keeping this practice oflistening when they return home. You all are doers, practical, get the job done" kinds ofpeople. For most of you, as soon as you get back in the thick of things, your work, and otherdemands on your limited allotment of time quickly steal opportunity to listen.

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We as men like to see results; we like to make things happen. It is easy for us to getcaught up in where the action is taking place because we can see the fruit of our labor andinfluence. Harder for us to see is the often-subtle fruit of being alone with God as the daysand weeks pass. So it becomes easy to miss a day or two as the burdens increase, or we putoff setting up a disciplined listening schedule as soon as we return home from retreat. Soon

the blessing of the retreat, the call to listen, and the resolve you had are distant memories.

Men need to think about listening as a virile, manly discipline requiring the heart of awarrior, the dedication of an athlete, and the devotion of a priest. Many of you work out.Many of you handle money with knowledge and diligence. Many of you run your businessesor do your work with great dedication and skill. You are even becoming better at beinghusbands and fathers. Can you also apply the effort you give to these pursuits to the innerthings of God such as listening and prayer?

Your life in the kingdom of God is the most manly enterprise you will ever undertake.Prayer is not for the faint-hearted. It is work. Listening and prayer are two key activities thatbuild and advance the kingdom of God in, and through your life. True heroism in a Christian

man begins in silence and prayer. To give these critical disciplines short shrift in your life isto relegate you to the sidelines of the battle. Is that what you desire as a man?

You will do well to meditate on the account of David's mighty men in 2Samuel 23:8-23. These men of valor and skill were loyal to the king and his kingdom. Are we to be anydifferent with our King? While we no longer fight with literal swords, we are still called tofight the spiritual war of establishing the kingdom of God under Jesus Christ who calls us tomature manhood. Prayer is a weapon. Listening prayer enables us to hear from our King andCommander regarding how we are to live and move as churchmen, husbands, fathers, andlaborers.

Do not sacrifice what you learned here for what appears more pressing, immediate, or

fruitful. Stay the course. Get up early and be with God. Stay up late and be with God. Skiplunch and be with God. Set aside time to be near your King so that having "run withperseverance the race marked out for you" (He.12:1), you can say with Paul, "I have foughtthe good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith" (2Tim. 4:7). Become one ofthose that the prophet Samuel referred to as "valiant men whose hearts God has touched"(1Sam. 10:26).

FOR THOSE WHO RECEIVED INNER HEALING

During your time with us on retreat some of you were drawn by the Holy Spirit toseek healing for deep wounds in your soul. Perhaps you had gotten help in this area before

and were working on it when you came, or God revealed while here that it was time toaddress what was binding you. Whatever the time frame, God moved you to address it.

With that in mind, I want to encourage you to continue the process of inner healing asthe Lord directs. Pay attention to recurring memories or dreams. Seek out a competentChristian counselor, especially one who knows the inner healing or healing of memoriesprocess, and allow the Holy Spirit to go deeper in your heart to illuminate and root outstrongholds continuing to distort your identity in Christ.

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Also, in the bibliography we gave you there are books on inner healing that might behelpful to read as well. In other words, the more you know about your binding wounds andstrongholds, the greater opportunity you have to let Jesus free you. When any of us isunaware of the root causes of habitual emotional pain or destructive behavior, the longer sheis a slave to them.

Remember too that deep healing takes time. When it was my appointed time to facethe inner turmoil that had crippled me substantially for many years, I had to take a year to gothrough inner healing. Some bruises and wounds take years to overcome or settle with. And Ihave discovered that we are generally only willing to expose ourselves to little bits of pain ifwe have any control in the matter. Therefore, the process pushes forward slowly. But, as weseek to trust the Holy Spirit and let go of our self-protective strategies the inner healingprocess seems to speed up. Ultimately, it moves at the speed God has chosen. He knows whatwe can handle, and tends to be gentle about the pace of healing.

END THOUGHTS

Coming to Connecticut has been either the next chapter in a long process ofdeepening your spiritual life with God, or youhave embarked on a new adventure that willtransform you as you are willing to journey near Jesus through all the twists and turns of yourlife. As with many things, listening to God is an activity that unfolds bit by bit as youexperience the joys, sorrows, pressures, and routines of everyday. Over time, though, youwill see your listening lifestyle alter how you come at life, and how you let it come at you.

Part of listenings fruit is peace that sticks with you (Php. 4:7), along with a buildingsense that you actually are connected to God as His child. Gods gift of abiding spiritualpeace has the peculiar effect of making a person feel that God is near. You come to justknow that He is near even if you dont seem to notice His presence. This knowing is the

blessing of having heard Him speak to you in the quiet, and speak to you many times.

As you go on, your Christian walk becomes yourway of life rather than, for all intentsand purposes, just a part. Going to be alone with Jesus each day becomes the context fromwhich you learn to view everything else. In effect, the other parts of your life are seen inrelationship to Him who is the ultimate Author and Finisher of your entire life. In turn, ratherthan simply having quiet time, you are communing with the living God, listening to: learn,find direction, deepen your relationship, receive correction, pour out your heart, and do betterwhat He has given you.

As we have noted throughout these pages, there will be many interruptions, fits andstarts along the way. But once you have spent a few months being in the solitude with Jesus,

you will see that to forsake such a vital interlude for lesser things is to cut yourself off fromthe wellspring of being Christian each day. Life lived mostly away from the quiet is life livedskimming along the surface, moving breathlessly from one task or activity to the next,without noticing what all of your busyness means in light of being Gods deeply loved child(Eph. 5:1).

On your retreat you were given a gift to open again and again as you walk with God.

He called you here for a reason, and sends you back home for reasons you know, and reasons

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that will be apparent only later. Take what you have learned, and use it to go deep spirituallywith your Lord and Savior. You will never regret it. We suspect that you might even wonderhow little you settled for in your relationship with Jesus after having been called into the deepby the One who still waits there patiently for you.

Grace is the final word we need to say. Grace made a way for you to come here; it

cleared your schedule, provided your resources, and even touched your spouse to agree thatnow was your time to go. Grace opened your heart and your ears as you sat in the silencelistening for Jesus. Grace opened the Scriptures to you, and made plain the things of Godhidden in the articles and book chapters you might have read on retreat. Grace opened yourears to the ways God speaks in Creation. Grace filled our conversations, meals, praying andresting.

Grace will continue the work Jesus started in Simsbury, and carry it through tocompletion. You just need to be available when grace is offered or given to spend time withJesus. To your comfort and mine, He is faithful and fully sufficient to help us listen and obeywhat we hear. Surrender and follow as He calls. Call He will. He already has, my friend.

when you go home

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