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8/20/2019 Photography Tips For Photographers | BP4U Photographer Resources BlogWhat To Expect When You Take Bereavement Photos - Phot…
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What To Expect When You Take Bereavement PhotosBP4U (http://www.bp4ublog.com/author/admin/)
It was 3:10am, the room was dark. There was no team of nurses encouraging me, just
the on call resident telling me to push when my �rst daughter came silently into this
world. There were no cheers, no congrats, no family to hug us. It was just us and we
were unprepared. We didn’t know we would want, moreover need photos of our little
girl. How were we to know that the only photo we would ever have of our little love
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would be a small polaroid snapped by the hospital social worker. But I am forever
grateful that she took that Polaroid. I pull it out year after year to see her tiny face and
�ngers.
Bereavement photography is one of the hardest, yet most ful�lling types of session to
do. Giving the gift of images to parents who are going through the most traumatic,
horri�c time ever in their lives, well there just aren’t any words to describe just how
signi�cant those photos are to parents.
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I started doing bereavement sessions for our local hospital three years ago, the same
one where our daughter was born. I thought it would be easy. I had after all gone
through my own loss. My circle of friends are now all loss parents, I could do this! But
it wasn’t easy…and it shouldn’t be. It should be hard, painful, and you should want to
run out of the door (and you will want to).
Bereavement photography is emotional, and it is supposed to be. When you arrive at
the hospital, before you step one foot into the parents room, take a deep breath. You
are about to meet a family whose lives are forever changed. The people they were
before they walked into that hospital room are gone, never to return. This day starts
their new life, and it is not the life they had envisioned.
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Arrive a few minutes early to the hospital and take a moment to look around you,
breathe it in. This is a good time to snap some details: the room number, directional
signage, special quotes, anything that can add to the story you are about to tell. Plus it
will give you a chance to calm your nerves and center yourself. When you �nally enter
the parents’ room, be quiet. This isn’t the time to enter cheerfully with a smile.
Instead, enter calmly and with compassion. After you are introduced, simply say, “I am
so sorry for your loss.” There is nothing else you need to say in regards to their loss
except to say how beautiful their little one is. (Every parent wants to hear how
beautiful their child is.) Ask the baby’s name, and refer to the baby by name when
speaking with the parents. Keep in mind that every family will behave and act
differently in regards to their loss. For some it is a complete shock, unexpected.
Others may have known that their baby wouldn’t survive and have had time to
prepare emotionally. Whatever the case may be, it’s ok for you to get a little
emotional too. I don’t mean you should big fat ugly cry in front of the parents, save
that for when you get back to your car or the waiting room, but it’s ok to have some
emotions while in the room photographing. I did a session for a sweet young couple
late last year who had an unexpected loss around 36 weeks. Mom was crying, dad was
crying and pretty soon I too shed a few tears with them. We are photographers, but
we are humans �rst.
Many hospitals will not allow you to bring in blankets or props for these sessions and
that’s ok, you don’t need them anyway. Mom and dad most likely have something or
the hospital will provide something special for baby to wear or be photographed with.
Keep in mind that posing most of these babies will be dif�cult depending on how long
it has been between the baby’s death and your arrival to photograph. I make sure to
get images of baby alone, usually on a blanket the parents have brought or just a white
hospital blanket. I make sure to speak to the hospital social worker RN who is working
with the parents and have her bring any keepsakes the hospital is providing like a small
teddy, bracelet, necklace or clothing to the room. Sometimes I take the baby to a
private room for these baby only shots, that depends on what the hospital has
available and what the parents want. But it often gives the parents a few minutes to
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compose themselves, put makeup on for mom, etc. Once I have images of baby alone, I
move on to family shots, then individual parent shots. Don’t forget the details! Toes
and �ngers images are often the ones parents will display in their homes.
It is important to keep in mind that many, in fact probably most (I know for myself this
is true) of the babies will have some dis�gurement based off of what medical condition
they have been born with. I never try to change those dis�gurements. Parents want to
remember their babies as they were, because they may not look perfect to anyone
else, but to the parents, they are perfect. Some babies will have very dark skin if born
before a certain gestation and this is completely normal. Be prepared mentally for
what you might see and be sure you can handle it. What we see during bereavement
sessions cannot be unseen and it can be daunting and overwhelming. You may need a
good cry or call to your therapist after. I always have a good, long, ugly cry.
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You will want to be sure to have a camera that can handle higher ISO’s. There is no
guarantee of natural light since you might very well be doing a session late at night. I
use the lights that are available in the hospital room if I need to add some light. They
are usually suf�cient. I also suggest spot metering your subject to get the best
exposure. A wide angle lens like a 35mm or a short zoom like a 24-70 is a must for the
tight space in the hospital room.
You can volunteer for bereavement photography in a variety of ways. There are many
organizations out there like Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep
(https://www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org/) or On Angel’s Wings
(http://www.onangelswings.net/) and many more around the country. You can work
directly with hospitals in your area (this is what I do) by reaching out to the hospital
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social worker RN, or you may have a friend or family member have a loss and ask you
to photograph their baby. Whatever way you get involved in bereavement
photography you will be giving a gift to a family that they will treasure for the rest of
their lives. For me, capturing the grief these families are going through helps me feel
like I am honoring my daughter with every session.
Jen Killion is an on-location photographer based out of St. Louis, Mo. and specializes in
newborn, children and family portraiture. Jen started in �lm photography when she was just
12, learning from her father, also a photographer and �nally moved into digital photography
in 2011 and she hasn’t looked back since! (Although she still misses the smell of developer
on her hands.)
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(http://www.jenkillionphotography.com) / Facebook
(https://www.facebook.com/jenkillionphotography/) / Instagram
(https://www.instagram.com/jenkillionphotography/) / Twitter
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