WELCOME TO INFLUENCING SKILLS

Anthony Rees

Anthony Rees• Facilitation, Training and Personal Development Consultant

• BSc (Hons), MBA, MBTI, SDI, Belbin & DISC Accredited

• Fellow Institute of Management Consulting

• 20 years FS / Management Consultancy and client facing roles

• Consultancy and Sales

• Clients include Visa International, BAE Systems, Nokia Siemens, SmartStream, Odyssey, Wall Street Systems, Motorola, BT, PSD Group, Hedra, Capita & Capco.

• FS Clients include JPMorgan Chase, Deutsche Bank, ABN, ING, EBRD, BNP Paribas

What is Influencing?

Successful influencing means getting a result which meets the legitimate needs of both sides.

Influencing is not……..

• Forcing others to accept your point of view• Continuously nagging until they agree• Bargaining• Giving in to someone else’s view, even when

you believe that they are morally wrong• Giving advice

Agenda

• Aristotle art of persuasion• Stakeholder analysis• Trusted Advisor• Trust Equation• Pull / push skills• Influencing Strategies

Aristotle on Persuasion

Ethos, logos, pathos

YouYour clientMessage

Ethos PathosLogos

CredibilitySelf-confidence

PresenceAuthority

Content and benefits of the message

Your understanding of and empathy with

your client

Ethos, pathos, logos

We need a minimum amount of each component, otherwise the client won’t listen to us

Talking about facts and targetsGiving opinions and judgements Insisting on a point of viewNegating or going against the

other’s perceptions

Push Pull

Push and pull

Asking about values, principles, priorities and needs

Interest in the other’s perceptions and emotions

Asking the other to explain themselves and/or give examples of what they mean

Inviting new ideas, helping to flesh them out

Encouraging new perspectivesRespecting the other’s integrity

Success factors

The quality of the ideas

The credibility and authority of the speaker

The ability to make the right people at your support your proposals

Push

The quality of the questions used to obtain information and check understanding

The capacity to put yourself in your client’s shoes

The ability to build on your client’s proposals

Pull

• Umm, good morning, I mean good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, this is Captain Rees and I think we may be somewhere near London on hopefully our final approach to London Heathrow. It is uncertain when we will land as air traffic control may or may not let us land, but hopefully I will try and get you down there sometime soon.

How to increase your ethos, logos, pathos

YouYour clientMessage

Ethos PathosLogos

Prepare meetingsFollow-up actions

Calm confident voice and body language

Prepare message

Ask many open questions to find out your client’s

priorities

Stakeholder Analysis

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People: stakeholder analysis

Who are the key people involved in this?

How influential is this person?

(H M L)

Decision Maker

Influencer

Their view of you

Supporter

Neutral

Against

What does each want to happen? Why?

The Trusted Advisor

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A Trusted Advisor (David Maister)

Subject matter expert

Trusted Advisor

Brea

dth

of b

usin

ess

issu

es

Depth of Personal Relationship

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The Trust Equation (Maister)

T = C + R + I S

Where:T = TrustworthinessC = CredibilityR = ReliabilityI = IntimacyS = Self orientation

Trust Realms (Maister)

Component Realm Example

Credibility Words I can trust what he says about……..

Reliability Actions I can trust her to…

Intimacy Emotions I feel comfortable discussing this….

Self orientation Motives I can trust that he cares about……..

Individual Failings (Maister)

Poor marks on Get characterised by:

Credibility Windbags

Reliability Irresponsible

Intimacy Technicians

Self – orientation Devious

Four ‘Pull’ Skills

Four Pull Skills of Influencing - Jenny Rogers

• Create rapport• Authentic listening• Ask open questions• Be assertive

Create Rapport

• Body language – Open posture, tone of voice gesture, eye contact, how we occupy a space.

• Matching – body language, way you occupy a space,

Listening…the other side of communication

Messages must be received as well as sent. A good question to ask yourself is, are you really listening or simply waiting for your turn to talk? If you are thinking about your reply before the other person has finished, then you are not listening!

Too many people see communication as merely speaking.

Poor listening habits are:

• Not paying attention• Not answering concerns, because you haven’t

really heard the client• Rambling on, changing topics• Feeling defensive• Interrupting• Listening for points of disagreement

Effective listening behaviour consists of:

• Focusing on the speaker• Listening for the whole message• Listening without thinking what you are going

to say next• Hearing before evaluating• Addressing concerns with specific answers• Paraphrasing what was heard• Watching nonverbal cues

Asking questionsA man is pushing a car to a hotel. When he gets there the hotel owner demands a large sum of money.

Why?

QuestionsI keep six honest serving men

(They taught me all I knew);

Their names are What and

Why and When

and How and Where and Who.Rudyard Kipling: "Just so stories"

Questioning Styles

• An OPEN question is one that encourages a full response

• A CLOSED question is one that can be answered with a short answer

Assertiveness

• Ask for what you want• Set the request straightforwardly using ‘I’• Use the persons name• Say no• Explain why?• Have an opinion

Influencing Strategies

Influencing strategyAttitude

For

Neutral

Against

InfluenceLow Medium High

Take out of play

Distract or fragment

Winning on board

Coalition building

Win over/ coalition building

Leave alone