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Volume x i. Helena, Montana, Thursday, October 18, 1877* No. 48

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DK OED CAMP SIEETIS’.

*Y WILL 6. HAYS.

Come brederin’, git in de golden car,Dar’* room for you an’ me up dar ;Come, set down on de anxious seat,Kase sin am sour an’ ‘ligion s sweet.

Put dem slippers on your feetWhen you walk along in de golden street,An’ in dem angels pnt your tru*\Kase no room dar for to raise a dus .

If you see Peter sleep at de gate,Kase de night befo’ he was up so late.You needn’t spect, wid your load ob sin,Dat you git pas’ him an’ steal right in.

Dey know you here, an’ dey’ll know you dar, Kase de angels s always ou de squar;Dey’ll h’ist you out ob dar lubly sight,Et you're full ob sin, an’ your soul ain’t right.

Shout, sing, kase de time am nigh When you put on wings for to fix to fly,An’ dein what prays an’ de loudes’ sings Am de ones w'at w'ars de biggest wings.

Bredern! sistern! lif’ your eyes An’ tix dar gaze on de starlight skies,Kase de Lord am good, au’ de Lord am kind,Ef you can’t see it you must be blin'.

Don’t set down upon your seat,But rise up, bredern, to your leet,An’ shout for glory ’till you’re sick,An’ git dat ’ligion-cure you quick.

‘■Glory!” “Whoopee!” “Shoo!” “What’s d a t! ’ “What am all you sinners at ?”Brmlder Jeems. pull down your ves ,An’ let dem tight dat ho'nets’ nes’.

Lif’ up your voice in humble pr’ar,An’ let dem sinners ober dar Fo’git dar 'ligion for a sped,An’ wish dem ho’nets was in hell.

Good Lord, dis meetin’ i« all broke up.Kase Satan sent some simul pup,Who’ll go to hell wid ail de res’,For handin’ in a lio nets’ nest’.

__ m « s » --------BE AS HAPPY AS YOU CAY.

O, »line is a free and careless heart.And mine is a tongue of song ;

And I try to hear with a cheerful mind Whatever may come along,

And I find that life is a goodly thing,And living a joy—not pain—

With lots of sunshine to light my road, (Though sometimes a little rain.)

And I have a motto all the way—I would give it to every man—

'Tis this: Whatever may come along,Be as happy as you can.

Though Heaven is such a glorious place,’Tis best, while on earth we stay,

To grasp all we can ot its pleasures rare Before we are called away.

Besides, in my mind there is often doubt Which road after death I’ll take ;

Perhaps, instead of an upward course,I’ll go down to the fiery lake.

But I do the best that my weak soul knows. And I wrong not any man.

But try, whatever may come along,To be happy as I can.

Yes. men will lie and money will fly.But fretting is no use.

Not even if the bank did “bust”And the president did “vamose;”

We cannot get our money back,Nor soundly wollop him—

We might as well serenely smile.And own we’re “taken in.”

No use to storm, and rave, and swear,Nor murderous project* plan—

So we’ll clutch our bank books firm and fast, And be happy as we can.

The Extra Session—A Book Ahead.

The Wrong Horse.

A gentleman from the West recently took bis wife to Newport for a holiday. Going to a livery stable near the Ocean House, he en­gaged a horse for a ride in the afternoon. As he left the stable he caught a glimpse of a small boy with blue trousers, red suspenders, a dirty shirt and a straw’ hat. At the ap­pointed hour the gentleman saw a fine horse standiog in front of the hotel with the reins in the hands of a small boy with blue suspen­ders, a dirty shirt and a straw hat. “ \o u have my horse, I see,” said he to the lad, and, af­ter fetching his wife from the parlor, started off for his drive. The Western gentleman had had many a ride in his slow-going city, but never had he sat behind such a splendid creature as that horse. They rode for three hours, knocking the seconds out of every mile, passing everything on the road, the horse distancing every animal that attempted tc rival his paces. “I never saw such a horse before,” said the astonished husband to his mate. “Yes, he is very fast,” was her re­sponse; “but why does everybody stare at us ?” After the ride was ended, the gentleman dropped his wife at the hotel, and drove to the stable, where he thanked the livery­man for the courtesy which he had shown to a stranger. “That ain't my horse,’ was the gruff response. “ My boy, Bill, waited for you over an hour this afternoon, and then drove back to the stable.” “ Why, whose horse is this?” asked the gentleman, allagape. “That horse is General------- ’s,(naming a well-known New York broker, who has the best trotters every season at Newport.) The gentleman returned to the hotel and told his wife that there were two boys in Newport who had blue trousew, red suspenders, dirty shirts and straw hats.

A Man With a Stomach Jewelry.

Full of Brass

[From the New York Evening Post]A South American newspaper reports an

interesting instance of the removal of foreign substances swallowed by a prisoner now in jail. The jailer is said to have in bis pos­session a collection of Albert chains, pen­knives, brass rings, etc., which he says he caused the man to vomit by use of emetics The man is a traveling mountebank, who gave performances, during which be offered to swallow anything his audience might se­lect ; and he now has in his stomach a steel watch-chain and a large brass ring, which have been there nine months. He asserts that he has had two pounds of jewelry in that receptacle at one time, and that he has kept watches there for twenty-four hours. The release of a fork by the French surgeon, Dr. Leon Labbe, from similar confinement will be remembered by many persons ; and the South American case just quoted, if cor­rectly reported, presents, according to the London Lancet, * features worthy of being studied from a physiologic point of view.”

------- ^ I I --------Woman’s Sensitiveness.

[From the Danbury New*.]A woman is tar more sensitive than a man.1

She has finer feelings and a more delicate mind. There are a very few men who real­ize this, and in consequence woman is made to endure much unnecessary suffering. One of our merchants was going to church with his wife Sunday morning, when she suddenly stopped and put her hand to her head.

“ What’s the matter?” he asked, startled by the look on her face.

“Oh! I’ve got on my brown hat!”“Eh!” ejaculated the astonished man.She burst into tears.“ Why, Martha, what is the matter with

you ?” he demanded.“Don’t you see wbat is the matter ? she

returned in a sobbing voice. “I’ve got on my brown hat with my striped silk. O, what will people say?” And the tears started afresh.

He caught her almost savagely by the arm, as he angrily muttered, “Come along, you lunkhead. ”

[Burlington Uawkeye.)There is very little news and very little in­

teresting reading in the newspapers now, we know, but do not grumble, do not be se­vere on the overtaxed editor. Be patient and in a few weeks we will be able to give you the grandest eloquence, the deepest thought the clearest logic, the most dazzling brillancy and the brightest scintillations of wit that can spring from the greatest minds of the nation. For.instance :

Mr. Jeffreys—Will the gentleman allow me—

Mr. Dikes—I will allow nobody nothing.Mr. Jeffreys—But if the gentleman—Mr. Throoks—You are a liar. •The Speaker—The gentleman is unparlia-

lentary.Mr. Dooper—I have here a bill to provide

will

gentleman from Ohio

mentar>Mr.

for—[Criesof “Order!” “Order!”]The Speaker—The sergeant at arms

clear the floor of the HouseMr. Floppe—May I ask if the— rCries of “Sit down ! Bit down1 ”1The Speaker—The ----- * J

will sit down.Mr. Throoks—What is the special order

for—The Speaker—The clerk will read the—Mr. Comegar—I rise to a question of per— Mr. Scroggins—I appeal to the chair. If

I am to be called a dog, I have my—Cries of “Question ! Question r The Speaker—The house is adjourned.

T ikes don’t grow muck better, and families which have long ago stopped taking a paper are now seriously thinking of selling one 01 ! the dogs.

What LieulciiHnt Geu. Sheridau Tlnuks of it.

A Chicago Time« reporter interviewed Gen. Sheridan to this effect : The General believes that Howard and Sturgis have probably done the very best they could. He says it lias simply been a r<tce, and, to use his own words, ‘‘When it comes to a race ior life, the fellow who is pursued can go a iittie the fastest.” He makes due allowance lor the fact that the country traversed by the chasers and the chased is tue roughest in the \vorld, and that the Indian can always travel faster than the soldier. This is so, he says, lor sev­eral reasons, the principal one being that the soldier has but one horse, while the Indian has a herd to draw from, and shifts his sad­dle from the back of a tired pony to that of a fresh one every two or three hours. On such a march it is out of the question to carry for­age, and the troops must come to a halt to allow their horses to graze. The Indians do not do that. Their ponies, when herded, are always nipping the grass as they go, no mat­ter whether the march be slow or fast, and in this way they are constantly gaining time over their pursuers. Besides, iu a rough country, where sharp-edged rocks are as thick on the surface as stubble in a harvest-field, an Ameri­can horse is very soon lamed, while the In­dian pony, with hoofs like Hint, jogs along as if traveling over a boulevard. Gen. Sheridan says all these things should be properly con­sidered in forming an opinion of the cbarac- teo of the campaign ugainst the Nez Perces.

----- — ^TOM P A IN E ’S H E A T H .

Colonel Bob IngersoU’s Wag;er of $1,000 Taken up by the New York Observer.

The gauntlet which Bob Ingersoll threw down to the entire Christian world when he offered to wager one and all $1,000 that Tom Paine did not die a “drunken, cowardly and beastly death,” has been taken up by the New York Observer. That paper will publish sev­eral columns of testimony substantiating its assertion that the last years of Paine were marred by bis bestiality and drunkenness, and that on bis death-bed he was stricken with remorse and fuced death like a coward. The evidence is furnished by parties who were well acquainted with Paine, including Grant Thorbum, who gives a description of the personal appearance and habits ot the great atheist that is far from flattering. Rev. J. D. Wickam and Rev. Chas. Hawley, D. D., who corroborate Mr. Tborbum’s account

Scene in a Ritualistic Church in sblre, England.

If amp-

[From the New York Tribune.]A gentleman going into the church about

ten minutes before the service began, was as­tonished to see on the altar two thick wax candles in jeweled candlesticks, a large gilt crucifix, and two jars of flowers. Acting on the impulse of the moment, he went into the chancel, and seizing the candlesticks and the crucifix, carried them to a pew midway down the aisle. In a few minutes tho curate came out of the vestry, and looking aghast at the transformation scene on the altar, faced the congregation ; but no one spoke. Eventually the sacriligious offender was pointed out to him. The curate marched down the aisle and the debate opened :

Q.—“ What have you done with the candle­sticks you have taken from the altar? ’

A.—“There they are.”Q.—“Then, give them up, sir.”Al shan’t ”The Curate.—“I will have you removed A.—“Do so.”As the curate passed the altar he bowed

and went forward to the vestry, but the choir refused to assist him. Then he returned to the altar steps, and falling down on his knees be prostrated himself before the empty table, crossed himself more than once, and manoeu­vred in some odd way with his hands and arms. The gentleman in the pew then hissed him. The curate rose, and again bowing to the altar, went down the aisle, and the debate was resumed :

Q ._ “ Will you leave the church ?”A.—“ No. I shan’t.” q . _ “You won’t? Then I will send for a

policeman.” .A.—“Do so. The sooner you do it the

Mark T wain has reformed and will lecture no more.

IIayes is the first President to visit Geor­gia since George Washington.

General N epokoitschitzsky has as yet done nothing worthy of his name.

Down in the mouth”—The young man who habitually chews his mustache.

O f what use is it to strike for higher j wages ? Every employee gets hire wages.

I t is estimated that the w heat crops of Ohio this season will be worth $120,000,000, and hay $20,000,000.

The Dartmouth Freshmen have adopted gowns. It was only the other day that they rebelled against petticoats.

“ T im eflies,” suggested she. “ Yes,” he answered, sadly takiDg a dark object out of the cream, “Time flies were gone.

Joseph of old was undoubtedly a virtuous man, but our modem Joseph sustains the reputation of being the more chased of thetwo. . . . *

When a clergyman remarked they were to have a nave in the new’ church, an old lady whispered that she “knew the party to whom he referred.” t

The Republican candidate for Governor of New Jersey, the Hon. William A. Newell, was the first Republican Governor of the State. He was elected in 185G.

The Philadelphia North American notices, as one of the remarkable features of New York politics, that Conkling and Fenton are coming together, and sees in this new hope of Republican success.

In the past three days the wires south have refused to respond, during which time spe­cial news dispatches and military and private telegrams have accumulated in the.» Helena office to the extent of thousands of words.

Franklin Allen, a grandson of the late Commodore Vanderbilt, applied for a dis­charge from bankruptcy, and opposition was

be\Vhen the policeman entered the church I madeby one creditor whose claim is $15»802. J, » I T?iA. , An l i o v o n r n v o t i f ip n t f i t n r O V P f

discussion was reopened.

Shall We bave Another Moon ?

The distinguished astronomer, Prof. Wat­son, of the Ann Arbor Observatory, recently expressed the opinion to an interviewer that as the planet Mars has been known for some time to be surrounded with “a sort of nebu­losity or halo-blur,” like the zodiacal light about the earth, the moons lately discovered may be new, condensed from that nebulosity. The ingenious reporter then asked if the zodiacal light, in case it revolved round the earth, and not, as many supposed, round the sun, might not also give us the benefit of an other moon or two. The Professor said that when he was in the Indian Ocean, in 1874, he distinctly saw the zodiacal light extending from horizon to horizon, and thus he is sure that it encircles the earth, at a distance, he thought, of from 15,000 to 20,000 miTes. He added: “If my view should prove to be the correct one, our moon not improbably may have company.”

H aie M*t

Hate not. It is not worth your while. Yonr life is not long enough to make it pay to cherish ill-will or hard thoughts. What if this man has cheated you, or that man has played yon false ? What if your friend has forsaken yon in time of need, or that one, having won your utmost confidence, your warmest love, has concluded that he prefers to consider and treat you as a stranger. Let it all pass. What difference will it make to you in a few years, when you go to the un­discovered country ? A few more smiles, a few more pleasures, mach pain, a little longer hurrying and worrying through the world, some hasty greetings, abrupt farewells, and our play will be “ played out,” the injured will belaid away and, ere long, forgotten. Ia it worthy to hate each o ÿ er ?

The Curate.—“You are breaking the law A.—“And what are you doing, sir ? You

are both breaking the law and your oath.” The Curate.—“I represent the vicar, and I

give you in charge.”A.—“You represent the Pop<

whom you represent.”The police stepped forw’ard, but a shrill

voice from the doorway cried out, “Dontyou touch him. .

The Curate drew back, and asked the m-

Eleven creditors have proven debts for over $77,000.

N ew York Herold: Since the introduc­tion of “ female postmasters” a girl goes up- to the window a n d says, “ Is there a letter for Miss Margaret Robinson ?” “Yes,” says

That's I the “female postmaster,” “here is one from John Me Jones.”

It is a pleasant feature of the Maryland Democratic^platform that it avoids the some­what tedious monotony of the presidential

a somewhat courteous and---------- . xuc ------------ ------------- I fraud plank byof the man’s depraved habits ; and otephen tru(Jer if be intended to interrupt the service ? freshly worded circumlocution. Otherwise

’ of the Society of “Certainly not, if you keep within bounds,’ the document is not remarkableU 'fiann I ^ J 7 » I - 1

was the response. TnÊ Ohio State Journal reports that JudgeSo the Curate abandoned the contest, and ^yegt .g making a vigorous campaign in that

in a few minutes were heard the words, 1 he gtftte amj is atlracting large audiences at all Lord is in this Holy Temple. - ' ’ ------

Grillet, a noted minister Friends, and Mary Roscoe, another Friend, who were present at his death-bed, and from whose journals the Observer publishes the picture of its horrors. Having made out its case to its own satisfaction, the Observer will pause for a reply from Col. Ingersoll. ̂ It is said that the testimony will be submitted to the examination of a committee, one chosen by the Observer, another by Ingersoll, and the third conjointly, who w’ill decide which party has the best of the argument.

One or Greeley’s East Betters.

Horace Greeley's last letter of friendship was addressed to Col. Tappan, of Bradford, N. H., and ran as follows : “My FriendWe have been terribly beaten. I was the worst beaten man who ever ran for high of­fice. And I have been assailed so bitterly that I hardly knew whether I was running for President or the penitentiary. In the darkest hour my long suffering wife left me, none too soon, for she had suffered too deeply and too long. I laid her in the ground with hard, dry eyes. Well, I am used up. I can not see before me. I have slept little for weeks, and my eyes are still hard to close, while they open soon again. But no more of this. You, my friend, went into this con­test for me. You knew as 1 did that we must stop fighting the rebels some time. But it is now settled that we never shall.” The date of this letter was November 8, 1872.

How Barnum got HI» Wife.

Here is a little romance : It will be remem­bered that when Barnum’s show was here

points. He has made six speeches every week since the opening of the campaign in August, and gains in strength with the peo­ple every day.

“Bring on your witnesses,” said the judge in a Western murder trial. Clerk (looking up and whispering to judge) ; “There is a little game of pedro going on in the other room.” Judge: “Sancho or plain ?” Clerk “Sancho.” Judge : “This court is adjourned for an hour.”

“When I die let me be buried within the sound of the hammer, the clang of the work shop, the hum of the mill,” says the candi­date in his speech. And then he goes home and seats himself in the rocking chair while his wife carries the coal out of the cellar to get supper with.

An English swindler, named Donnell, re­cently was escorted into a New York gamb­ling house by a “capper” who mistook him for an English peer, and the result was that with a $1,000 counterfeit Donnell fleeced the

A sliD of the tongue is no fault of the mind. I faro-bank out of $12,000 in genuine green- Evtn amiDisler isfkely to make one. For in- backs. It takes a thief to catch a thtef. 8tanCe, McCaughney, the revivalist, once un- The following story is told about Anstar- dertook to rivet the attention of his audience cm Bey, who married the daughter of a by portrayiug a procession of the seven Prussian General : “The General was notdeadly sins, personified, and walking two by blessed with much wealth, but with many tw’o. He succeeded. The Rev. Stuart Rob- I marriageable daughters. One day the Turk- inson, of Louisville, also, when giving a vivid -lsh Ambassador called upon him, and asked portrait of the garden of Eden and the fall, if he might hope to become the General s son- said with great force, “And they recognized | in.]aw. ‘With pleasure,’ replied General

Growth of Human Hair After Death.

[From the Medical Record.]Dr. Caldwell, of Iowa, states that in 18G2

he w’as present at the exhumation of a bod y which had been buried two years before. The •offin had sprung open at the joints, and thet hair protruded through the openings. On opening the coffln the hair of the head was found to measure eighteen inches, the whisk­ers eight inches, and the hair on the breast five or six inches. The man had been shav­ed before being buried. In 1847 a similar ciicumstance occurred in Mercer county, Pa. In digging a grave the workmen came upon the skeleton of a man that had been buried ten years. The hair was as firm as during lite, and had grown to the length of eleven or twelve inches.

Hetcroptieuiy.

the fact of their nakedness, and went and Bonin, delighted ; ‘How many do you vrant ?’ ............... General took himMs treasurer took sick and made themselves approns of fig leaves-mis- Aristarchi, seeing that the Gem

™ u l ,yff™ H niL .k He’ died I erable shift !" A distinctly audible smile went | or a Mussulman, replied with some trépida-was left at the Massasoit House, there and was buried here, we believe. He was engaged to be married to a Miss Fish, a sister of Barnum’s present treasurer. After his death it became necessary for Miss Fish to write several letters to Mr. Barnum in re­ference to her dead lover. Barnum admired the lady, because of her well-written letters, sought an acquaintance—an acquaintance which soon ripened into love, and to make a long story short, the then Miss Fish is now Mrs. P. T. Barnum. Barnum is twenty-seven years older than his wife.—Atkinson Patriot.

round the congregation. tion that he was a Christian, and wanted only one. ‘What a nuisance!’ grumbled the Gen-

How m e Basbi-Bumonks Punish Eying, j era^ ‘Well take which ever you like!' ”. . . , Persons are drowned by raising their arms

Three B ashi Bazouks the other day, in their | a j,oye water, the nubuoyed weight of which

Blnnt, Bat True.

There is said to be a young man in the Missouri penitentiary whose parents at their death, left him a fortune of $50,000. There is where his parents made a fatal mistake. If they had taken the precaution to invest that sum in a small dog, and shot him, < and then had simply left the young man a jack-plane or a wood saw, with printed instructions how to use it, the chances are that, instead of being in the penitentiary he would to-day have been gradually but surely working his way up to a bandsoi honorable old age. I of a Ham and Ere, parents have made it a

me competency and an Bnt ever since the days

point to toil and struggle all their lives in order to realize a sufficient sum o f money to purchase, when they are dead and gone, their sons each a first-class through ticket to the devil, and it is not much to be wondered at that so many o f their sons, reared in vice and

at too many of them often are, have no higher ambition tha? to invest their inher­itance in just that sort o f transportation.

riedly-dug grave, when the Russian came to j hands. jf he moves his hands under water. . ' __ .1 -1 _______ I k . ! . S n l o n i l M I rp. I . I I ! l___1 _211 on kil.llhis senses, and observing their intention, re-1 a way he pleases his head will rise so high marked that he was not dead. They looked I M ailow him full liberty to breathe, and at him for a few seconds, when one of them -j ^ wl]j use hig legs, as in the act of walk- remarked, * ‘Really you Russians are such I j Up gtairs, his shoulders will rise above horrid liars that it is impossible to believe I water so that he may use less exertion anything you say. We found you here dead, wuh his hands or apply them to any other so you must be buried,” and they buried him. pUrpoee> These plain directions are recom-

----- m 1 1 -------- mended to the recollection of those who havea suieM M n’» «rief. not learned to swim in their vonth, as they

(From the Rochester Democrat] ^“Plceac s t s t t - M Thnmmi H- Hendrick» «erring yalnable life

in m tinorfu* whisner to a renorter, immedi- ! On one of the Islands off the coast of In a hoaisewmsper to a repo , I MaJne is gigantic schoolmistress seven feethllifh0hihMM*to ̂ Ifeel ten years younger high, weighing three hundred pounds, strongÄ did X . a t o r ^ m y ^ Ä S d in proportion, end very handsome. Once tbanIdW w hœ aM y,aM my m«m v . (or t0 reduce order a school

: l S r Ä b H ä Ä m ë e k « U. . h « - 1

He began to cut

jy tc T c B & jii m i n u u u v f • i s v v w v ■ ■ ■■■■ ■ ?

rible cough, and all sorts ot dreadful things.l We to «Thom e ; but he’s fading as a privileged character. He began to cut

f f î d ins a w a v F up om daybefore the girls, whereopon, iny, fading *w|yrr _______ _____ twinkling of an eye, the handsome gtan-

Heaway

Th i Rct. ld ç .» MaseachnsetW ejergym*°. asked that h tsasb iy be rwf o a M * <wo. i year, and h ta « o iS p e ^ iä flJ K » a o » e r e d it to $ is o .

'Ci”

tags bowed him across her knee, and spanked him with her niler. The boys laughed, the girls tittered, and that was the end of that young man's pranks.