1.

2. Agenda

9:00Self Introduction, Koinonia Connection and Hand of the Lord Time

10:00 Difficult Discussions

12:00 Working lunch

12:30 Discussion of KANI

Any left over time Popcorn KANI

2:30 Dismiss

3. Hand of the Lord 4. Koinonia Connection PAST Here is something about my past that would help youknow me better DEFININGA difficult life experience whichMOMENT helped me grow as a person was.. VALUES Heres what I stand for Ask follow up, onion peeling questions X Information + Feelings Information Only X 5. The Difficult Discussion

What is it?

Why is it so difficult?

How do you do it?

15 6. Fierce Conversation A fierce conversation is one in which youcome out from behind yourself into theconversation and make it real. robust intensestrong powerfulpassionate eagerunbridled uncurbed by Susan Scott 15 7. The Goal The goal of a fierce conversation is to get everyones reality out on the table, so thatit can be interrogated. Everyones! 15 8. Difficult Discussion: Why So Difficult? Key Principle Highly effective people act their way into a new way of feeling they do not feel their way into a new way of acting.16 9. 1. You Listen to understand 2. Me Ask then present 3. It Brainstorm solutions (Whats right, not whos right?) 4. Us Agree to who will do what bywhen and set date toinspect what you expect Difficult Discussions 101 16 10. Difficult Discussions 201 Invitation Investigation Dialogue Follow Up Getthe Facts One Minute Intro You MeItUs InspectWhatYouExpect ResultsRelationships Trust 16 11. Difficult Discussions 201 Invitation Investigation Dialogue Follow Up Getthe Facts One Minute Intro You MeItUs InspectWhatYouExpect ResultsRelationships Trust Would you be willing to talk with me long enough until we arrive at a solution that is acceptable to both of us? Enlarged on next slide

• 1. Identify the issue.

• 2. Illustrate the gap. (Be specific)

3. Clarify what is at stake.

4. Identify any contribution youmay have made to this issue

5. Indicate your desire to resolvethe issue.

6. Invite the other person to respond.

17 12. One Minute Intro

• 1. Identify the issue.

• 2. Illustrate the gap. (Be specific)

3. Clarify what is at stake.

4. Identify any contribution you may havemade to this issue

5. Indicate your desire to resolve the issue.

6. Invite the other person to respond.

17 13. Would you be willing to talk with me long enough until we arrive at a solution that is acceptable to both of us? 14. Dealing with the KANIs ofLife and Ministry

Situation

Problem

Evidence is it measureable?

What is the cost $$, image, rep.??

Consequencesover time

Implications

Future Fix

Implications

Constraints

What are the Issues? 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. Daily Debrief