Agenda

9:00 Self Introduction, “Koinonia Connection” and “Hand of the Lord Time

10:00 Characteristics of a Healthy Church

12:00 Working lunch12:30 Discussion of KANIAny left over time… “Popcorn” KANI 2:30 Dismiss

Hand of the Lord

Koinonia ConnectionKoinonia Connection

XX

Information + Information + FeelingsFeelings

Information OnlyInformation OnlyXX

PASTPAST Here is something about Here is something about mymy past that would help you past that would help you

know me betterknow me better

DEFINING DEFINING A difficult life experience A difficult life experience which which MOMENTMOMENT helped me grow as helped me grow as a persona person was..was..

VALUESVALUES Here’s what I stand for…Here’s what I stand for…

Ask follow up, onion peeling

questions

The Difficult Discussion

1. What is it?

2. Why is it so difficult?

3. How do you do it?

15

Fierce Conversation

A fierce conversation is one in which you come out from behind yourself into the

conversation and make it real.

robust intense strong powerful passionate eager unbridled uncurbed

by Susan Scott

15

The Goal

The goal of a fierce conversation is to get everyone’s reality out on the table, so that it can be interrogated.

Everyone’s!

15

Difficult Discussion: Why So Difficult?

Key Principle

Highly effective people act their way into a new way of feeling…

they do not feel their way into a new way of acting.

16

1. “You” Listen to understand

2. “Me” Ask… then present

3. “It” Brainstorm solutions (What’s right, not who’s

right?)

4. “Us” Agree to who will do what by when… and set date to

inspect what you expect

Difficult Discussions 101

16

Difficult Discussions 201

InvitationInvestigation

Dialogue Follow Up

Get the

Facts

One Minute Intro

“You” “Me” “It” “Us”

Inspect What You Expect

Results

Rel

atio

nshi

ps

Tru

st

16

Difficult Discussions 201

InvitationInvestigation

Dialogue Follow Up

Get the

Facts

One Minute Intro

“You” “Me” “It” “Us”

Inspect What You Expect

Results

Rela

tions

hips

Tru

st

“Would you be willing to talk with me long enough until we arrive at a solution that is acceptable to both of us?

Enlarged on next slide

1. Identify the issue. 2. Illustrate the gap. (Be

specific) 3. Clarify what is at stake. 4. Identify any contribution you

may have made to this issue

5. Indicate your desire to resolve the issue.

6. Invite the other person to respond. 17

One Minute Intro

1. Identify the issue.

2. Illustrate the gap. (Be specific)

3. Clarify what is at stake.

4. Identify any contribution you may have made to this issue

5. Indicate your desire to resolve the issue.

6. Invite the other person to respond.

17

“Would you be willing to talk with me long

enough until we arrive at a solution that is

acceptable to both of us?

Dealing with the KANI’s of Life and Ministry

• S…ituation• P…roblem• E…vidence – is it measureable?

What is the cost $$, image, rep.??

• C…onsequences over time • I…mplications• F…uture Fix• I…mplications• C…onstraints

What are the Issues?

Daily Debrief