top personal-development-strategies

Top Personal Development Strategies

By Karen Ruby

Copyright 2010 All Rights Reserved

Here are some of the top personal development strategies that can be found on my site, A Meaningful Existence. Many people have used these strategies to make lasting changes in their life and I'm sure that you can, too.

Please visit my site for more ways that you can use personal development strategies for putting meaning into your life.

www.ameaningfulexistence.com

http://www.ameaningfulexistence.com/


The First Step In Finding Meaning For Your Life

Life today is so busy. From the time we get up in the morning until the time we go to bed, most of us are just scrambling to keep up with all the demands placed on our time.

If it’s not our spouse, it’s work demanding something from us. If it’s not work, then it’s our kids. If it’s not our kids, then it’s the family. If it’s not the family, then it’s the community.

It can all get pretty overwhelming, especially if you are not clear on what you value in life or if you have never taken the time to actually determine what has meaning to you.

Here’s a quick exercise for you to do to find out what’s really important to you.

Performing this exercise is the first step in finding meaning for your life.

Grab a piece of paper and a pen and slowly read through the following words. Write down about 10-15 words that you know (know, not think) are important to you as a human being.

Which words resonate with you?

There’s no judging here so don’t select the words that you think you want to be someday. Select what’s important and relevant for the person you are today.

Go through the list and only select the words that speak to your heart.

• Abundance • Acceptance • Accomplish • Action • Acquire • Admiration • Adventure • Amusement • Artistic



• Assist • Attain • Attentive • Attractive • Aware • Beautiful • Bonding • Brave • Build • Calm • Capable • Coach • Communication • Community • Compassion • Compete • Connection • Contentment • Control • Courage • Danger • Daring • Dedication • Dependable • Design • Devotion • Direct • Dream • Educate • Encouragement • Energize • Engage • Enjoy • Excellence • Experiment • Expert • Facilitate • Fame • Family • Freedom • Friendship • Fun • Glamour



• Grace • Gratitude • Greatest • Guide • Health • Holy • Honesty • Honour • Humility • Humour • Imagination • Impact • Improvement • Independent • Influence • Informative • Ingenuity • Instruct • Integrity • Invest • Joy • Laughter • Learn • Love • Loyalty • Marriage • Mastery • Model • Open-minded • Opportunistic • Originality • Passion • Patience • People • Perfection • Perseverance • Persistence • Planner • Pleasure • Provide • Relationships • Religious • Resilience



• Responsible • Risk • Romance • Satisfaction • Security • Sensitivity • Sensual • Serenity • Serve • Sex • Spirit • Sports • Stimulate • Strength • Tenderness • Thoughtful • Trilling • Touch • Triumph • Trustworthy • Truth • Understand • Uplift • Wealth • Wisdom • Work

Now that we have the 10-15 words from the list that spoke to you, go through your list word by word and narrow down your selection to 5 words that mean the most to you. If there is a word that’s missing from the list, then add it.

When you’ve narrowed down the list to your top 5 words, then you have selected the values that mean the most to you.

Now, ask yourself – are you living your life according to these values?

In order to find meaning in your life, you must be very clear on what you value in your life so not only can you recognize the values when they happen but also so that you can move towards those values. Don’t be pulled in directions or perform actions that do not adhere to your values. Examine your daily decisions to see if they fit against what you’ve chosen as your most important values in life.



“It’s not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.” – Roy Disney

Your values list will determine what’s most important in your life. Spent your valuable time on earth according to these values and make decisions that reflect what’s important to you.

One more question - Are you pretending to be something that you’re not? Go through your list so that the values represent your true authentic self.



The Next Step In Finding MeaningFor Your Life

In my last article, The First Step in Finding Meaning for Your Life, you went through a huge list of words and selected the 15 words that had an important meaning to you. Then you narrowed down that list to the 5 words that meant the most for your life.

These words were your values. What’s next?

After finding the values that mean the most to you and your life, the next step is making the necessary changes in your life so that you are living according to those values.

You should be centering your life on the values that you selected as meaning the most for your life.

Some people may be already living their life congruent to their values, but if you are not of those people, now’s the time to change your life to suit what you values you selected as being the most important.

Change can be very scary, but so is living an incongruent life.

When you went through the word list and selected the 5 words that meant the most to you, those words then became part of your awareness of what you want to be in your life.

It behooves you to live according to those values otherwise you will have conflict and be susceptible to anything or anyone that enters your life.

Knowing that one value is important while another is not means that you are able to make decisions in your life that are authentic for you.



http://www.ameaningfulexistence.com/2010/02/03/how-to-make-better-decisions-that-move-you-forward-in-life/

http://www.ameaningfulexistence.com/2010/03/22/know-these-five-causes-of-conflict/

http://www.ameaningfulexistence.com/2010/05/03/do-you-recognize-yourself-in-these-6-stages-of-change/

http://www.ameaningfulexistence.com/2010/05/14/the-first-step-in-finding-meaning-for-your-life/

Let’s say that your 5 values were:

• Love • Learn • Freedom • Independent • Adventure

Think about your life and the values that you selected as having the most meaning in your life. Ask yourself if you are currently expressing those values right now in your life.

Do you have lots of Love in your life right now? Are you Learning? Do you have Freedom and Adventure in your life? Are you Independent?

If not, what changes are you going to make in your life so that you are living according to your values?

Ask yourself what do you need to add to your life or remove from your life so that you are living authentically with the values that you said meant the most to you.

What do you need to do to bring more Love in your life? What changes do you need to make so that your need for independence, adventure and freedom are fully expressed in your life?

It helps to make a list of changes that you need to make in your life so that you are really living according to your top values.

For example, write down 3 necessary changes that you are willing to make so that you will have more Love in your life:

1. Nurture my relationship with my spouse and be attentive when they come home from work.

2. Tell my children every day how much I love them and appreciate them.

3. Schedule time every day to take better care of myself.



You should do this for each of your top values. It’s okay if you can’t come up with 3 changes per value as you might already be living your life according to that value.

Use the power of your values as motivating forces so that you can super-charge your life and make the necessary changes so that you are living a meaningful existence.





Using Visualization ToGet To Point Z From Point A

Picture it. You’ve got some ideas of what you want to accomplish in life, but you’re not really sure how to get them out of your head and make them real.

Why not try visualization? Visualization is a powerful technique that can not only motivate you to go after what you want in life, but it can be used to create a picture of yourself when you have already completed the goal.

It sounds funny but using visualization and planning backwards to Point Z from Point A can get you moving forward in life, especially when you don’t know what your next step is.

Visualize yourself at the end point, Point Z, where you have already accomplished what you set out to do.

Now, visualize everything that you did to get to that point. Work backwards and see the steps in reverse order.

For instance, let’s say that you want to buy a home in the next 5 years. Visualize yourself waking up in your own home, going downstairs and making yourself a coffee and eating breakfast in your breakfast area. Can you smell the coffee and taste your morning bagel. Hmmm, hmmm good.

Notice the decor and all of the knickknacks around you. Are there any pictures on the fridge? Picture those, too.

Visualize yourself walking through your house. How many rooms does it have? How big (or small) is it? How many bathrooms does it have? What colour are the walls in the living room? What kind of furniture do you own?

What kind of backyard do you have? Can you smell the freshly mown lawn? Or maybe there is a pool out in the back, which is right besides your stainless steel deluxe BBQ.

Visualize everything that you want in this house.



Now, visualize yourself physically writing the mortgage payment. How much is it? For arguments sake, let’s say your mortgage payment is $2000 per month. See your hand actually writing the mortgage cheque.

Now you might be wondering where on earth are you going to get $2000 per month to pay a mortgage?

This is where the visualization and planning backwards to Point Z from Point A really shines. Because you’ve already visualized yourself with the completed goal of owning your own home, think of everything that you already did to make this happen.

Point Z is you owning your own home.

Point A is you renting a 1-bedroom apartment today.

What has to happen between Point Z and Point A?

You tell me. If you’ve visualized owning that home, then you’ve already made it happen and it’s real to you.

Was Point C on your journey moving to the city where you visualized owning your home?

Maybe Point H was you canceling your cable bill, magazine subscriptions, selling some of your stuff, and forgoing expensive vacations so that you can start your house deposit account using a high-interest or money-market fund.

Was Points L through F giving up every weekend so that you were able to go and look at houses with your realtor?

Tell me, was Point B going to your boss and asking for a long-overdue raise so that you earned more money and were able to start saving the difference between what your rent was and what your mortgage payment would be?

Only you can decide what you did on this journey. It’s your goal.

If you’ve managed to really be in the moment of waking up in that house, living in it, smelling it, and feeling what it would be like to own that house, you will find the motivation and know what you have to do to own that house.



Think of your goal as already being accomplished and plan backwards to Point Z from Point A.

Then, work that plan until you reach Point Z.

Easy, eh?



Do You Recognize Yourself In These 6 Stages of Change?

It may seem like people are changing all of a sudden around us. The person who suddenly decides to join a gym and then you see them working out every day. Or the person who suddenly decides to quit smoking. Or, how about the person who suddenly ends a long-distance relationship? What about the person at work who has suddenly decided to leave their job and start their round-the-world trip?

It may seem like these decisions were made quickly, but there are various stages of change that these people went through internally before you became aware of the external changes.

Back in the 1970s, James Prochaska and Carlo DiClemente developed the SCM Model (Stages of Change Model) to theorize the various behavioural changes that a person goes through on their way to a successful change.

An understanding of these stages and the model can help you (and others) understand where you are on the spectrum so that you are ready to advance to the next level. There’s no use fooling yourself that you are ready for change when you’re not.

Lasting change only comes when you go through the various stages. The stages do not have to be progressive and it’s up to the person to decide at what stage they are in and how they will progress (or regress) to the other stages.

Of course, this is only one model, but it’s a powerful one to explain human behaviour and can help people understand how they can make lasting changes in their lives.

I read about this model years ago when I wanted to change careers. It really helped me recognize if I was really ready for change or if I just unsatisfied with my current job situation and I think it can help you, too.

The Stages of Change

1. Precontemplation



The Precontemplation stage is where you are not ready to acknowledge that you need to change. For instance, if you’re smoker you defend your bad habit to others when they nag you to quit.

Maybe you’re okay with your career of basket-weaving and no one can convince you that you need a new marketable career, even though you’re being evicted and can’t pay your bills.

You don’t see that you have a problem that needs changing.

2. Contemplation

The Contemplation stage is where you realize that something has to change but you’re not sure what it is or if you really want to make a change or not.

At this stage, you’re thinking and thinking and thinking that something has to change in your life but you’re still kind of wishy-washy about the whole thing.

I mean, you know that you could lose a little bit of weight but you’re convinced that you have a healthy relationship with your spouse and they don’t seem to mind (so much).

So what if it bothers you a little that you have no money at the end of the week because you spent it buying STUFF – after all, it’s going to be spent on something, right?

You’re not yet prepared to make any changes in your life, but you’re thinking hard about the consequences of not changing.

3. Preparation

The Preparation stage is what is says it is. You are preparing to make a change in your life. You are gathering information and thinking of changing, but you haven’t taken any real action yet.

This is where you start talking to other people who have already made the change that you want to make. You make a list of blogs and are starting to gather materials such as networking with other entrepreneurs because you think you want to make that career change. Or you sign up to receive some travel brochures on various countries that you would live to move to.



You are determined to make a change and your motivation is high. You’re starting to research everything that you need to know about making your change because you want to move to the next stage.

4. Action

The Action stage is where you and others actually see you making the change in your life. You have already decided to change and you are now ready to take action. You are walking your talk. There’s no stopping you because you have already determined that some behaviour in your life has to change and you are following through.

You’ve done your research and you know what you have to do and are doing it in this stage. You’re actively trying different techniques to stop smoking.

Or you’ve joined the gym and are going every day. You’re writing down everything that goes past your lips into your food diary.

You’ve started your blog and are now writing consistently. You believe in yourself and are taking positive action to change your life.

5. Maintenance

The Maintenance stage is where you continue to take action on your change. You are progressing and continuing to change.

This is where you continue going to the gym every day. You are continuing to use the smoking-cessation patches because you know that to stop at this stage means a relapse.

It’s really important when you are at this stage to renew your commitment to your new behaviour, avoid temptations and to have systems in place so that you don’t relapse.

For instance, you hire technical people to help you on your blog’s design or you start to accept guest-posts. You develop a system for working out every day. You enlist your friends and family by telling them that you’ll pay them $100 if they ever see you light up again.

6. Termination (or Relapse)



The Termination stage is where the new behaviour you adapted is now a part of your life. This can also be the relapse stage where you have abandoned the change and have relapsed to where you were before.

You are now a non-smoker. Your whole mindset has changed to incorporate the new behaviour into your life. You self-identify as a blogger, or as an entrepreneur, or as a world-traveler or whatever-the-case-may-be.

If you have relapsed, that’s a normal stage of the change model. Everyone slips and makes mistakes. But, the best thing is for you to try again. Maybe you failed at your first business model. Try a different one.

You ate the ice cream and gained 5 lbs back. Or you haven’t blogged in a month. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Just recognize the stage that you found yourself in, and regress back to the Action or Maintenance stage. Start again.

There is no shame is starting over. Lasting change takes time and determination.

Do you recognize any of these stages in your life? I certainly do! I’m currently in the Action stage where it comes to this blog. Prior to October of last year, I was definitely in the Contemplation stage. Regarding my career, I think I’m in the Preparation stage as I investigate new avenues of making a living.

What do you think? Is this a useful model for you to recognize the various stages of change and how you can progress (or regress) to ensure that your change is lasting?



10 Things You Can Do Right Now To Improve Your Life

Here are 10 things you can do right now to improve your life:

1. Accept yourself for who you are right now. Accept all your imperfections and idiosyncrasies because that’s what makes you unique. There are over 6 billion people on this planet, but there is only one You.

2. Write down or review all your goals in life and then take action right now on one of them. What can you be doing right now that will bring you closer to what you really want in life?

3. Turn off the computer (after you read this article, of course), turn off your phone, turn off the TV, turn off anything that distracts you from doing something of importance in your life. Take time right now to look within yourself and find out what is important to you. Close your eyes and meditate if that helps you. The most amazing answers come from within us, as long as we can quiet everything and really listen. Right now, listen to yourself.

4. Take the time to play. Play with your children, or your pets or the neighbour’s children’s pets. Life doesn’t have to be such a struggle and so serious all the time. Take the time to rediscover what you liked to do when you were a child and play like one right now.

5. Look around your space and get rid of some stuff that has been cluttering up your life. Our environments affect us so much. Why are you putting up with that ugly old knick-knack that your stepmother’s great aunt gave you for your wedding ten years ago? Get rid of anything that doesn’t have great sentimental value, brings you joy or makes you happy. Go through your surroundings right now and get rid of things that you hate.

6. Get some exercise. Right now, go for a walk, pop an exercise DVD in the player, dance around your room, skip rope or start sparing with an imaginary opponent. Do something that makes the blood flow and energizes you. Keep doing this every day and you will notice the difference. It doesn’t take a lot of effort to incorporate exercise and movement into your life.



http://www.ameaningfulexistence.com/2010/01/17/just-for-today-challenge-day-17-get-rid-of-some-stuff/

http://www.ameaningfulexistence.com/2010/01/14/just-for-today-challenge-day-14-taking-action-on-your-goals/

http://www.ameaningfulexistence.com/2009/12/16/you-are-more-than-good-enough-already/

7. Go around your home and do something that has been on your to-do list. Fix that wobbly chair. Throw out those old magazines that have been lying in the garage for months. Take out the caulking gun and re-caulk the bathroom tub. Clean out your underwear drawer. Do that one thing that has been taking up so much room in your mind and which you have been meaning to do. Just do it right now so that it will be done and so you will not have that task sucking up your energy again and again whenever you think you should be doing it. Just get it done right now.

8. Review your finances and take stock of all your assets and liabilities. Gather up all of your monthly bills, credit card statements (even the ones you are scared to open), investment statements, taxes, and other financial statements. Add up everything you owe and everything you own. Don’t be scared if you owe more than what you own. Get your head out of the sand and face whatever the number turns out to be and make a plan to get out of debt. Decide right now that you will stop digging the hole deeper and that you will start from wherever you are to get your finances in order.

9. Right now, decide that you will devote time and energy into your most-important relationships. Get out your calendar and make a recurring date with your spouse. Create a weekly family movie or game night. Go to your folks home for Sunday dinner, every Sunday. Call your friends more often and let them know what’s going on in your life. Invite your relatives over to your house at least once a month. Either devote time to your most-important relationships or find new ones so that your social connections do not whither. Having a close support network is one of the greatest joys in life.

10. If you are having any issue in your life that has been in your life for years and you’ve tried to deal with it on your own, then it’s time to talk to a professional. No matter what your issue is, there is a professional who can help you. They will be objective and have special training, which you do not have. Call one today so that you can start the process.

There are a ton of other things you can do to improve your life right now. What are you going to do to change your life right now?



Show Me Your Plan And I’ll Tell You Your Future

You have a plan your life, right?

No, you don’t? Really?

Well, have you come to the right place then!

A meaningful existence doesn’t just happen by accident, you know. You have to plan. As the old saying goes, “If you don’t know where you are going, then any road will take you there.”

You want to make your own path in life and not be at the mercy of someone else’s plan, right?

Planning your future takes TIC – Time, Introspection and Commitment. Oh, and you’ll need to take Action, too. So, I guess it takes TICA.

Time

It takes a lot of time to actually sit down and document your future. It should be done when you are in a positive mental state and are relaxed. I suggest taking either a few days (at a minimum) and set aside this time for yourself.

Your future deserves a few days, doesn’t it? If you have more time to devote to planning your upcoming year, then more power to you. Devoting a half-hour on a Saturday morning won’t cut it though. You need time, particularly if this is your first time writing a plan, to sit and think about what you want for your future. Get everything you need for the tasks, paper, pens, laptop, calendar, your journal, coffee, etc.

What do you want for yourself?

I suggest coming up with 3-5 items in several categories, such as Physical, Financial, Family, Spiritual, Social and Career.

On a sheet of paper, write down the category name. Underneath this category, list 3-5 items that you either want to have or accomplish. I suggest having a broad sentence for this high-level goal at first. You will



flesh out this goal later. Continue on separate pieces of paper for each of your goals, for each category. So you’ll end up with 3-5 goals on the Physical sheet, 3-5 goals on the Financial sheet, etc.

Some of the goals should be short-term (6 months), mid-term (1-2 years) and long-term (2+ years). If you already have a plan from last year, you can transfer whatever goals that were not accomplished to your new plan. You won’t achieve everything you’ve written down in the next year so some of your goals should continue into the future.

Next, on a separate piece of paper, write one of your goals at the top of the sheet. Underneath this goal, write down all the tasks that you have to do to accomplish the goal.

Brainstorm your goal. Remember they need to be SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time-Bound). Having some vague goal for your future that you can’t measure or achieve by the end of next year is not good enough.

Try to think backwards in time and that you have already accomplished the goal. What steps did you take to complete it? What was involved? Write those steps down.

Once you see all the tasks involved in the goal, you will have a better understanding of what you need to do and when to accomplish the goal. When you have the goal mapped out and it’s clear to you, transfer the time-bound tasks to your scheduling system.

Continue with the remaining categories and goals until you become excited about your future and can’t wait to get started!

Introspection

Having to objectively review what went well and what didn’t go so well in your life and what you are going to do about it, takes introspection. Inwardly reflecting on your life takes a lot of courage, too.

What have you always wanted to do with your life? Think back when you were a child and what you hoped for your future. Okay, maybe you thought you would grow up to be a rockstar when you grew up. It didn’t happen, but you can certainly learn a musical instrument in the upcoming year. Or you can take singing lessons if that’s something you’ve always wanted to do.



These goals should also stretch you. Don’t write down the easy stuff. Write down a goal that will challenge you and make a difference in your life.

Instead of writing down that you want to earn $500 more per month, write down that you will earn $10 000 more each month this year.

Then write down all the tasks that you will need to make that much more money.

What would you have to do to earn that much more? You can also subdivide your goals, if it makes it more achievable and measurable for you.

Commitment

You have devoted time to the task of planning your upcoming year. You have reflected upon your desires and know what you want. Now it’s time for Commitment.

Do you have the commitment to follow your plan? Do you believe in what you have written down?

Without Commitment to your goals, it’s not going to happen. If you don’t have faith and belief in yourself to accomplish the goals, your Commitment to achieving them will waver. You’ve spent time thinking of what you want for your future, do not let a lack of commitment let you down. You deserve better!

Pledge to yourself that you will follow your plan to the best of your ability.

Action

You must be taking action on your goals. If not daily, then at a minimum weekly. Without Commitment and taking Action on your goals, they won’t happen. I suggest you use whatever scheduling method that works for you, whether it’s Outlook’s Calendar, Google Calendar, setting up text alerts, paper and pen, etc.

Write down your goals on your calendar and track your progress. We all know that if you write something down and schedule it, the likelihood of it happening increases dramatically.

If checklists work for you, then use checklists to track your actions against your goals.



Look at your goal list and calendar daily. It will motivate you to see what you have accomplished and what you have planned for your future. You wrote those goals, so they must mean something to you, something that you want to have or accomplish in your life.

Once you have your plan and are taking action and are committed to achieving what you have written down, don’t give up. If you’ve spent the necessary time involved, the introspection to determine what you want in your future, and the commitment to achieve the goals, believe in the plan. It will happen.

Maybe you won’t achieve everything you’ve written down, but I bet you that by this time next year, you will be really surprised at what you have accomplished in your life.

No one is going to do this for you. You have to take personal responsibility for your future and planning for it is a major step to take. Keep in mind the saying, “If it’s to be, then it’s up to me.”



Why You Need To Write In Your Goals Book Daily

Way back in 2005, I remember reading about the importance of having a goals book from Jack Canfield. It seemed like such a simple thing to do and I thought I would give it a try.

I remember writing down my goals on March 4, 2005 and less than two months later; I had achieved one of my major financial goals. I left my job and found a better one – with a $20,000 increase in salary. I directly attribute to obtaining and accepting that new job offer for more money to the act of writing in my goals book each morning during those months. So, I know that this works.

To this day, I still write in my goals book, although many days may go by between writings. I still write in it, especially when I want to focus on the completion of one of my goals. It’s also interesting to see how my goals have changed over the years.

We all know that the simple act of writing focuses our mind and especially when you are writing down your goals, you are making them concrete. They become more than wishes, they are definite wants in your life that you are magnetizing into your life. Remember, what you want in life, also wants you.

So, how can you use the power of a goals book? It’s really simple.

First, you have to have a blank, ruled, book to write in. And, yes, it has to be paper. Typing into your computer each morning isn’t the same thing as actually concentrating on your goal as you are writing it down.

You’ll also need to think about your goals in 5 specific ways. Use the categories below to think about your primary goal in each area.

You only need one sentence to fit each area. Remember that you will be writing down these goals every single day, until you make them come true. So, really concentrate on what goals that if they came true, would mean the most to you. Don’t be wishy-washy, either. Write down what you want to happen in your life.

1. Body



Think about your Body or Physical Being. What are you physical goals? Do you want to weight a certain weight? Do you want to complete a marathon? Do you want to just be healthy and pain-free?

2. Brain

Think about what you want to learn, what skills you want to master, the books you want to read, the intellectual pursuits you want to have.

3. Being

Think about your spiritual goals. What do you want your purpose in life to be? Do you want to be more loving? more accepting? more helpful? more trusting? Do you want to study different religions? Do you want to pray each day?

4. People

Think about the people you already have in your life or the people you want to attract into your life. What goals do you have concerning the most important people in your life? What kind of people do you want to be surrounded by?

5. Money

Think about your financial goals. How much money do you need? What do you want to do with your work? How long do you want to work and what do you want to provide the world? What amount of money will you give to charity?

Of course, these five categories can be replaced by whatever is personal to you. They can be re-arranged in your personal order, for whatever makes sense to you. You don’t have to have a goal in each category but you should have at least 5 separate goals that you are concentrating on.

Over the years, I’ve wanted to concentrate on my financial goals so that goal became number 1, while the other goals were re-arranged. At other times, I wanted to concentrate on my Body so that goal rose to the top. Do whatever makes sense for your situation.

One of my financial goals for a long time was “I make $75,000 in a job that I find fulfilling and creative“. Remember when you are doing this exercise



to write in the present tense and write what you want to happen (never write what you don’t want to happen).

The exercise seems easy, but it’s a very powerful one.

Each morning, take five minutes and write your sentences down in your goals book. Do the same thing the next day and the day after.

I think you will be astounded at the power of this simple exercise to focus on what you want to be/do/have in your life. Believe me, I know that this works.



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