the pulse 9.51 » dec. 20-26, 2012

the bowl MISSY-ManageMent MuSIc Strung lIke a horSe Screen ‘the hobbIt’

Dec. 20-26, 2012

chattanooga’s weekly alternative

Vol. 9 • no. 51

on the

Dark SIDethe art oF MIStY Fugate

preSS to prInt

photographer’S IMageS gaInIng InternatIonal expoSure• artS » p14

new cooperatIVe reVIVeS theloSt art oF letterpreSS » p7

2 • The Pulse • DECEMBER 20-26, 2012 • chaTTanoogaPulse.com

Real People, Rockin’ Hair hair a go*go™

hair a go*go * 2 North Shore * 307 Manufacturers Road * 423.752.0500

Daily Holiday Gift Picks & Special Offers

Check our Facebook page for more cool deals and ideas! Facebook.com/hairagogo

dec21

dec22

dec31

dec31

Tennessee’s no. 1 VW Dealer

VIllaGe VolKsWaGen oF CHaTTanooGa6001 InTernaTIonal DrIVe (off Shallowford) • 423.855.4981CHeCK ouT our enTIre InVenTory aT VIllaGeVW.Com

oWn THe BeauTIFulCHaTTanooGa-BuIlTVolKsWaGen PassaTor CHoose From our HuGe InVenTory oFJeTTas BeeTlesTIGuans TouareGsGolFs

InVoICe saleCLEARANCE ON ALL 2012 MODELS

chaTTanoogaPulse.com • DECEMBER 20-26, 2012 • The Pulse • 3

EDITORIALPublisher Zachary cooperThe Editors Zach cooper • Bill Ramsey Creative Director Bill RamseyContributors Rich Bailey • Rob Brezsnychuck crowder • John DeVore • Janis hashematt Jones • chris Kelly • D.e. langleymike mcJunkin • ernie Paik • sarah skatesalex Teach • Richard WinhamPhotographers Jason Dunn • Kim hunter • Josh lang Cartoonists max cannon • Richard Rice • Tom TomorrowCalendars erin mcFarland

ADVERTISINGDirector of Sales mike BaskinAccount Executive Rick leavell

CONTACT Phone 423.265.9494 Fax 423.266.2335Email [email protected]@chattanoogapulse.comGot a stamp? 1305 carter st. • chattanooga, Tn 37402

ThE FINE PRINT The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer media and is distributed throughout the city of chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on culture, the arts, entertainment and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. no person without written permission from the publishers may take more than one copy per weekly issue. We’re watching. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors. © 2012 Brewer media

BREWER MEDIA GROUPPresident Jim Brewer II

Since 2003

Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative

Since 2003


Since 2003


chattanoogapulse.com

INSIDE THE PULSE •DEcEmbEr 20-26, 2012 • vol. 9 • No. 51

ARTISAN PRINTING• With a MakeWork grant, graphic designers Paul Rustand and Matt Greenwell are creating Chattanooga’s Print Cooperative and reviving the fine art of printing on letterpress with wood and metal type. »P7

on thE CovER • “lifE souRCE” By Misty fugatE

DECEMBER

shroom

AT THE$4 BLOODY MARYS$10 MIMOSA PITCHERSAND FOOTBALL!sun

mo

n $5 SMALL CHEESE PIZZAS$3 THREE OLIVES VODKAWITH FABULOUS FLAVORS!

TU

E $12 MYSTERY BUCKETS!TELL US WHAT YOU LIKEAND WE’LL SURPRISE YOU!

WE

D PERFECT 10! $10 PITCHERSAND $10 FOR A SELECTION OF YOUR FAVORITE ITEMS

TH

U $1 WINE & $2 ROLLING ROCK TALL BOYS—GRAB YOUR FRIENDS!

HAPPY HOUR 3-6PM EVERY DAY$1 OFF ALL DRAFT BEERS

INCLUDING HIGH GRAVITY!

205 Broad St. 423.266.5564

Mellow Mushroom Chattanooga

2318 Lifestyle Way423.468.3737

Mellow Mushroom Waterside

BOURBON APPLE PIE COCKTAILOUR HOLIDAY DRINK FEATURES APPLE & CINNAMON-INFUSED BOURBON WITH FRESH-PRESSED LOCAL APPLE

CIDER AND A CINNAMON-SUGARED RIM!

3849 Dayton Blvd. • Ste. 113423.877.1787

At the corner of Morrison Springs Road and Dayton Boulevard in the

Bi-Lo Shopping Center

HappierNew Year!

Fine Wine, Spirits& Champagne

for New Year’s Eve


TALK OF ThE NOOGChATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • FACEBOOK/chaTTanoogaPulsesenD leTTeRs To: [email protected]

THEBOWLWhen the weirdness quotient drops a notch at Red Bank City Hall, it’s a sure bet that the East Ridge is prepared to pick up the slack. In fact, the misadven-tures of East Ridge City Council have recently raised the bar for council meetings worthy of their own reality series. Here’s just a few items of note from the Thursday, Dec. 13, meeting alone (as reported by The Chat-tanoogan.com):

• Council votes 3-2 to fire City At-torney John Anderson for over-charging the city. Mayor Brent Lambert calls the action “bush league” and “pretty low,” but moves on the vote. After being fired, An-derson—who earned almost $300,000

in his two years as part-time city attorney and smartly drafted his own contract and will receive three times his monthly salary as severance—is asked to lead the group in a prayer.

• City Manager Tim Gobble, a colorful self-promoter with approximately zero shame, hires 19-year-old church pal/dis-ciple Chris Clabough as his administrative

assistant—a job that carries with it a $35,000 salary—and mudsling-

ing hilarity ensues. To wit:—Councilman Denny Man-

ning tossed the first bomb, say-ing, “all he has seen the new em-ployee do is wash the city man-ager’s car, get the oil changed,

get him Cokes and fetch his um-brella for him,” according to The

Chattanoogan.—Despite the 76 applicants who applied

for the position, including some with mas-ter’s degrees and the several years of expe-rience the job description call for, Gobble

chose Clabough, who attends the same Cleveland church as Gobble, as his protege and defended his youthful hire, who is al-legedly his daughter’s boyfriend, saying he “made a high score on the ACT” and was training as a future city manager.

Can’t get enough? Read the soap opera online at TheChattanoogan.com or visit Gobble’s Facebook page, where, according to the TFP’s Drew Johnson, Gobble spends much time on “self-centered diatribes in which he defends himself and attacks his many critics.”

EAST RIDGE

City council worthy of reality TV series

423PULSE PUSH NOTIFIC

AT

ION

S A

T D

IAL-UP SPEED • BECAUSE TH

E N

ET

IS

WA

Y T

OO FAST •

AREA

ThE PULSE INDEx

End of the world regrets? Just a fewAstonishingly, few are tricked into re-sponding to The Pulse’s annoying trolling posts on Facebook, so we turned to a Har-ris Interactive Poll commissioned by Bla-zeback, an online backup system, to index regrets in the event of the apocalypse hap-pens on Friday, Dec. 21.

The poll, conducted online from Dec. 7-11, asked 3,036 adults ages 18 and older if the apocalypse were truly coming on this date, what regrets would they have, if any. Here are selected results:

• 70 percent said that they would have some regret.

• 32 percent said that they would regret not traveling more.

• 30 percent said that they would regret not spending more time with their fami-lies.

• 23 percent reported that they would regret not following their dreams.

• 22 percent said that they would regret spending too much time worrying about money.

• 25 percent of men reported that they would regret not having had more sex if the Mayan prediction proves true. Inter-estingly, only 10 percent of women sur-veyed would have the same regret.

• 14 percent said they would regret working too much if the world came to an end on Friday.

For the record: The Pulse regrets the errors, selling our Apple stock during the Y2K scare and saying “no” to one more for the road last night.

—The Editors

3914 St. Elmo AVE.(423) 702-5461

Find uS on FAcEbookblacksmithstelmo.com

Blacksmith’sBistro&Bar

WhiskEY tastiNG fliGhts NiGht

tUEsDaYs

BistrolUNch!$7 1/4 BUrGEr comBo

chips & DriNk

11am3pm-

nEW HouRS!11Am - 10 Pm

dAilY


MAYOR?WHO WANTS TO BE

King Me!• Rob Healy’s exit clears the way for Andy Berke, who says he’ll continue to campaign hard for the city’s top office.

QUALIFYING DEADLINE • DEC. 20ELECtIoN • MARCH 5, 2013

River Deep, Mountain High• Ex-city employee Guy Satterfield says he has a “big mountain to climb,” but he’s not quitting, no sir!He’s Got the Spirit!• Former Red Bank public works director and East Ridge city manager Wayne Hamill told the TFP he hopes voters will be “filled with the Holy Spirit” to propel him into office. That always works so well!Why Not Me?• Chester Heathington Jr. Enough said.

In the first true test to gauge his power since assuming the role of editor of the Free Press editorial page, our favor-ite Free-Market Conservative, Drew Johnson, called for the resignation and/or firing of city arts administrator Missy Crutchfield.

In his Tuesday, Dec. 12, editorial, “Missy Crutchfield Must Go,” Johnson skewered Crutchfield for her appar-ent disregard of the mis-appropriation of funds uncovered during a city audit that resulted in the resignation of Sandy Coulter, a longtime city employee who has managed the Tivoli Theater and Memorial Auditorium since 2007.

Johnson is clearly no fan of Crutch-field, her department (created by Mayor Ron Littlefield), her salary ($107,000) or the fact that city owns and manages the two venues, and he demands Crutchfield’s resignation for the recent scandal as well as a re-cord of financial snafus dating back to 2005, when she first took office as the city’s Education, Arts & Culture De-partment administrator.

And Crutchfield will go—not as a result of Johnson’s perceived power or influence (if he has any at all), but with Littlefield’s exit in March 2013.

Crutchfield is, of course, the daugh-ter of disgraced former State Sen. Ward Crutchfield, and has long been the focus of criticism and rumored to hold the high-paying post because of her political connections. In addition to the charges leveled at her by John-son, Crutchfield last came under fire in 2010 for operating a for-profit online magazine from her offices and on the city’s dime. While City Auditor Stan Sewell—who appears to have kept a close eye on Crutchfield since her ap-pointment—found no wrongdoing, he did find the appearance of impropriety and Crutchfield was ordered to cease operating the site from city offices.

But waste no time in reprimanding Crutchfield and her assistant, Melissa Turner, for bemagazine.org. The site is amateurish and an odd mish-mash of posts that would have trouble draw-ing even Google AdSense revenue. Instead, the entire focus should be on what appears to be her primary re-sponsibility, namely the management of the Tivoli Theatre and the Memorial Auditorium.

Despite Littlefield’s claim that as a former actress Crutchfield has many show business connections, she has no background in venue management. And judging by most of the perform-ers booked at the city-run venues in recent years, these connections are obviously weak. While her experience

in communications and fundraising at her for-mer positions with UTC and Chattanooga State might have qualified her

to be an effective agent for promoting education initiatives, we’ve seen little evidence of this skill. If she’s looking to capitalize on her years on the city pay-roll in future positions, she has little to (honestly) show for it.

Moving forward, we hope the next mayor will disentangle this depart-ment from operating the Tivoli and Memorial Auditorium and appoint a qualified new administrator with an experience-appropriate salary focused on cultivating arts and education ini-tiatives, perhaps in cooperation with ArtsBuild and other cultural agencies.

The city should also pursue either selling, leasing or contracting out management and/or booking of the two venues to a professional manage-ment agency, such as AC Entertain-ment, founder of the Bonnaroo Music Festival which books many of the acts at Track 29, as well as the Tennessee Theatre. Only then will we begin to see a slate of more consistent and popular music acts and theatrical performanc-es that will return these two venues to profitability and relevance.

Also key in this transaction is lifting the ban on taking alcoholic beverages inside both venues. Currently, beer and wine are sold prior to performanc-es and during intermissions (one thing Crutchfield did champion), effectively robbing both venues of an additional revenue stream (of the overpriced booze they might offer) and denying patrons a comfort they enjoy at other theaters and venues in Atlanta, Nash-ville and Knoxville.

Until then, the city’s premier en-tertainment venues will remain both a costly taxpayer burden, doomed to mismanagement, lackluster booking and financial blunders, as well as a thorn in the side of a city government which has no business being in the business of operating them.

Missy-Management

Dizzy Town

*hamilton county elections commission

CoUNCIL-Go-RoUNDall nine chattanooga city council seats are up for election with all but two incumbents—Deborah scott and sally Robinson— vying for re-election. Below are the current officeholders by district and a list of challengers.

District Member 1 Deborah scott 2 sally Robinson 3 Pam ladd 4 Jack Benson 5 Russell gilbert 6 Carol Berz 7 Manny Rico 8 andraé Mcgary 9 Peter Murphy

QUALIFIED ChALLENGERS AS OF DEC. 18*

District Candidate1 tom McCullough 2 Priscilla simmons 2 Roger tuder 2 Jerry Mitchell 4 larry grohn 4 Ryan King 4 Jack Benson 5 Russell gilbert6 Carol Berz 7 tramble stevens 7 Manny Rico 8 Moses freeman Jr. 9 Peter Murphy 9 yusef hakeem


Proponents of the gun ban are dusting off old ideas, and to my honest en-joyment, coming up with new ones. For example, in addition to “making them go away by law,” some are proposing:

• Legal gun-owner in-surance, requiring gun owners to insure their weapons, much like auto insurance, to mitigate the expense of hiring more cops to stand in every school, if not every class-room. And mall. And the-ater. This ignores the mil-lions of illegal gun owners, but why bother the crimi-nals? And this insurance runs along the same lines as the Affordable Care Act: If you’re alive, you pay it as a tax labeled as insurance, and if you have a gun, you pay it as a tax … labeled as insurance. Taxing our way out of a problem is a go-to idea in this country, and if you can do it without ever having to deal with the ac-tual problem (criminals) it’s a win-win for politi-cians.

• Drastically inflating the price of firearms and ammunition from 200 to 400 percent. Make the legal purchase of a fire-arm prohibitive and the thought of drive-by shoot-ings an act of bankruptcy … for legal purchases. This is actually a favorite of mine because it indicates that every proponent has apparently had the Vol-

stead Act ripped out of the history books they never studied in the first place.

If you restrict, ban or make financially inacces-sible something people want, they will simply find another way of getting it. Crazy, right? And in ex-treme cases, it becomes an underground industry which creates more prob-lems than it initially hoped to solve. Would boats, trains or planes bring them in, chasing new profit mar-gins? Cocaine, heroin and marijuana are all illegal, but still manage to get into this country by the mega-ton despite “laws to fix this” that have made them such a profitable industry.

Instead of creating a new tax to fund the hiring of thousands of new police and security guards, why don’t we train the people who are actually on the scene to carry and shoot a gun. “Armed teachers?!” you may cry. “But some-thing could go wrong!!”

No shit. Something did go wrong—two things, in fact: One, a random, crazy sumbitch broke into a school and executed children. Second, not one teacher, even the ones charging the gunman, were armed to protect those children despite doz-ens of school shootings and dozens of lives lost over the last decade. The short wait for a “professional” seems smarter than risking kids

getting hurt, even while they’re being massacred.

When I ride four-wheel-ers into the woods, I don’t carry “taxes” in case of snakes—I carry a pistol. A few teachers should carry them too, for the same damn reason.

Taxes? Insurance? Please. You don’t need to create committee to put a nail through a board. You just need to show someone how to use a damn ham-mer. Safely.

As a cop, I see what as-sault weapons can do, but armed pilots on 9/11 would have had a serious statistical impact on the events that transpired on that day, and I think an armed teacher—even just one—would have had a similar impact at Sandy Hook. They’re pilots and teachers. They can handle responsibility.

When someone comes up with a realistic, sensible and sustainable idea, I’ll be on the stage with them. This is where the president could make a difference, but not with more bullshit legislation. Instead of leg-islating when, how and if I am able to defend my own life, how about addressing the actual problem?

Legislating TragedyOn the Beat ALEx TEACh

So much for my thoughtful Christmas story. While I was excused from that duty this year, I still had something sickly sweet in mind until Sunday. Not on the day of the shootings in Connecticut, mind you; not even with the ad-dition of the death of Martoiya Lang, a 32-year-old Memphis police officer and mother of four killed in the line of duty that same morning. Even after these events I fought to keep my cheerful theme. But the day that our elected officials stated (again) they would legislate us out of such tragedies by at-tempting (again) to ban assault weapons, I stopped ignoring the signs.

Alex Teach is a police officer of nearly 20 years experience. The opinions expressed are his own. Fol-low him on Facebook at facebook.com/alex.teach.

511 Broad street 423.386.5921 southerncomfortchatt.com

Book A

HolidAy

PArty!

CELEBRATE NEW YEARS EVE IN COMFORT!

MAKE YOUR RESERVATIONS NOW FOR THE BEST DEAL!

CHAMPAGNE & PARTY FAVORS!

NEW YEAR’S DAY BREAKFAST BUFFET 1AM

BLACK-EYED PEAS, CORNBREAD & MORE

Chattanooga’sMargaritaville!

Where it’s always 5 O’Clock

Topof the

dock

Celebrate!New Year’s Eve

Sunday Brunch 11-3Pasta Station • Omelet Station • Prime Rib

OPEN CHRISTMAS DAY & NEW YEAR’S DAY


But this is about more than business cards. It’s about the craft and trade of artisan print-ing, the sort you experience when you hold a lovingly type-set chapbook printed on fine textured paper. It’s about the graphic design seen on the clas-sic concert posters designed and printed by Nashville’s famed Hatch Show Print, which is now part of the Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum. But mostly it’s about the revival an artform of a bygone era. And quality.

Paul Rustand and Matt Greenwell, two Chattanooga graphic designers with a pas-sion for quality printing—in-cluding the antiquated art of letterpress—are attempting a revival of letterpress printing with their new co-op, an enter-prise born of a MakeWork grant that will open this spring and offer classes in printmaking led by Juanita Tumelaire and also offer quality, small-batch let-terpress printing by Terry Ch-ouinard.

Rustand, creative director of Widgets & Stone, a Chattanoo-ga design agency, and Green-well, head of UTC’s Art Depart-ment and a collaborator with Rustand at Widgets & Stone, applied for the MakeWork grant this summer. Rustand owned an aging letterpress he had used for years, he said, and Greenwell had access to UTC’s collection of printmak-

ing equipment collecting dust in storage.

“We’ve used my press for per-sonal projects,” Rustand said, “it was like our little toy, but over time it became not so pre-cious to us and we wanted to share it. It was a waste to keep in storage.”

The collection of equip-ment—which also includes offset litho presses, etching

presses and a growing selection of wood and metal type—are coming back to life and will be housed in Rustand’s former studio in a small warehouse be-hind Market Street facing the Urban Stack restaurant and bar. Joining the design duo are Tumelaire, a local printmaker and book artist, and Choui-nard, a printer and proprietor of Ithaca Type in Athens, Ala., who is relocating to Chattanoo-ga to join the team.

“Paul and I are instigators,” Greenwell said. “It has long been our ambition to figure out what to do with the equipment and the grant was about the process.”

That process has two parts. The two hope to share their pas-sion for letterpress and custom small-batch printing with other artists, designers and students who can take printmaking classes created and led by Tu-melaire. The business side will be the domain of Chouinard, a talented, dedicated crafts-

man with an abiding affection for the letterpress. Chouinard’s equipment and expertise will be key to the co-op, offering designers and artists a unique method of printing that, ironi-cally, many take great pains to replicate with digital type.

Letterpress is relief print-ing in which the type and de-sign are locked into the bed of a press, ink is applied and it is rolled or pressed onto paper. Invented by Johannes Guten-berg in the mid-15th century, letterpress work is crisper than other modern forms of printing because of its impression into the paper, giving greater visual definition to the type and art-work.

By early spring, Rustand said he hopes to have a curriculum in place for classes and work-shops, which will be offered to small groups of students. He’s also hoping to partner with the local chapter of the Ameri-can Institute of Graphic Arts to collaborate on activities and events, as well as attracting guest lecturers and speakers.

“We’re really hoping to create a network,” Rustand said. “Our goal is to become a self-sustain-ing nonprofit and watch it blos-som in years to come.”

Rustand and Greenwell have already organized an enthusias-tic group of dedicated support-ers from the local design and creative community and update their progress on a Facebook group page, where 100 fans so far are offering help and pledg-ing support for the operation.

“A lot of people are excited about it,” Rustand said. “It’s a great fit for the design and cre-ative community. Even those who aren’t designers are fas-cinated by the machines and type.”

Chattanooga’s Print Cooper-ative is located at 1271-B Mar-ket St. (facing the Urban Stack restaurant).

By Bill Ramsey

A well-designed business card expertly printed on handsome stock used to be a statement, a reflection of the holder’s identity that indicated a sense of pride. These days, most busi-ness cards are designed on cheap graphics software from a template and hastily spit out on ink-jet printers on pre-cut paper. Run your finger across them—the ink will smudge and the edge will reveal perforations. Even small-press printers, the mom-and-pop shops and franchises who once took pride in their work are now mostly turning out mediocre printing. The last business card I had made came back with the print off center and was cut so poorly most were unusable. At least to me. So when I heard about Chattanooga’s Print Cooperative and its mission to revive small-press artisan printing, I found reason to rejoice.

above: a classic hatch show Print concert poster. left: terry Chouinard arranges wood type on a press at Chattanooga’s Print Cooperative on Market street.

Reviving the Art of Letterpress

With a MakeWork grant, Paul Rustand and Matt Greenwell are launching Chattanooga’s Print Cooperative.


Unique Gifts for the Holidays

GIFTS • HOME • BRIDAL • JEWELRY330 Frazier Ave | Mon-Fri: 10-6 Sat: 10-5 | 423.266.0585 | plumnellyshop.com

Great Holiday Gift

Ideas for Hostess, Teacher, Stocking Stuffers & More!

40 years

CELBRATING


»Pulse PICKS

THELISTDEC. 20-26

CALENDAR

THU12.20

FRI12.21MUSIC

Tijuana Donkey Show • Band name of the week. We apologize if it’s an actual donkey show.9 p.m. • skyZoo • 5709 lee hwy. (423) 468-4533 • skyzoochattanooga.com

EVENT

Claude Stuart• Stuart is known for his rapid-fire comedy.9:30 p.m. • Vaudeville café • 138 market st.(423) 517-1839 • funnydinner.com

Yacht Rock Schooner: Solid Gold ’70s• Yacht Rock Schooner is not your average cover band. Oh no, dear friends—it’s a time and place, the embodiment of all the smoothness, the majesty of open collars and gold-nugget chains traveling down the highway in a poorly designed domestic convertible, sipping Freixenet champagne. It’s the sounds of the ’70s that built the era in the form of barefoot cruises and ladies with feathered hair. Smooth, with a sting—like Hai Karate.SAT 12.22 • 9:30 p.m. • Rhythm & Brews221 market st.• rhythm-brews.com

SAT12.22MUSIC

Sweet Georgia Brown• New southern rockers’ CD release show.10 p.m. • JJ’s Bohemia 231 e. mlK Blvd. • (423) 266-1400jjsbohemia.com

EVENT

12 Days of Christmas• Holiday fun at the zoo. 5:30-8 p.m. • chattanooga Zoo301 n. holzclaw ave. • (423) 697-1322chattzoo.org

Those jeans don’t make your ass look fat. Your fat ass makesyour ass look fat. Might be time to get to Thrive.

Thrive Studio • 191 River St. • 423.800.0676 • In Coolidge Park • thrivestudio.net • Facebook/ThriveStudio • Twitter: @thrivestudio1

Yoga • Indoor Cycling • Personal TrainingFitness Classes • NutritionConvenient Drop-In PlansThrive Studio • Healthy Bodies, Happy Minds

MUSIC

Ahleuchatistas• Experimental jazz and prog rock.7:30 p.m. • Barking legs Theater 1307 Dodds ave. • (423) 624-5347barkinglegs.org

EVENT

North Pole Limited Train Ride• Holiday train rides.7:30 p.m. • Tennessee Valley Railroad museumgrand Junction station • 4119 cromwell Road (423) 894-8028 • tvrail.com

SUN12.23MUSIC

PeeWee Moore and Friends • Honky tonkin’ country outlaw takes over RAW.8 p.m. • RaW • 409 market st.(423) 756-1919

EVENT

“Annie”• There’s “Tomorrow” for this hit show. 2:30 p.m. • chattanooga Theatre centre400 River st. • (423) 267-8538theatrecentre.com

»Pulse PICKS

• strung like a horse have had a great year that included the release of an album full of tunes that are getting national attention along with a series of artfully produced videos to accompany some of those tracks. hell, they even had a few hundred people follow them Pied Piper-style from the nightfall stage this past summer in a parade down market street to Rhythm & Brews. That performance was just one of a number of memorable shows from slah this year. although our looking glass tells us the group has big plans for 2013, the band is hedging its bets with the mayan calendar that this will be the last show for them—and the entire planet. But we’re optimistic—we even bought tickets to the strung like a horse performance on new Year’s eve. Besides, even if the mayans are right, who wouldn’t want to party with slah on the way out? check them out Friday at Rhythm & Brews with Deep machine.FRI 12.21 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews221 market st.rhythm-brews.com

»Pulse PICK OF ThE LITTER

Strung Like A horse End of the World Party with Deep Machine


What makes this band perfect for the occasion is the climate of delirium they create. Strung Like A Horse hits the stage like a hur-ricane, energy popping from ev-ery player. Each performance is an exuberant celebration of the power of music.

Lead singer Clay Maselle has the energy and charisma of a nonpareil ringmaster. His feet firmly planted, Maselle and his bandmates whip up barely con-trolled chaos both on and off stage. Maselle’s circus barker-style ebullience is matched by B.J. Hightower’s manic bouncing jig with his standup bass, his hair flailing around his face and over his shoulders as the band leans

into the music. While Maselle is cajoling the

audience to let go, B.J.’s bounc-ing, Mark the Fiddler and banjo man Ben Crawford are throwing out blizzards of notes, and Sloth keeps it all rolling with wildly off-kilter kicks on his singular drum kit (largely composed of junkyard detritus).

It’s not difficult to understand why Sam Bush remarked that Strung Like A Horse made him and every other bluegrass musi-cian seem staid. The band plays acoustic music with all the ele-ments of Bill Monroe’s tradi-tional bluegrass (albeit with a drummer). But while their mu-sic is rooted in bluegrass, by ev-ery tune’s end they’ve drifted far afield from Monroe into a domain of their own. Imagine a manically muscular, punkier Dave Mat-thews Band—call it garage grass.

Opening for Strung Like A Horse will be the Nashville-based Deep Machine. Listening to their recently released EP (on Band Camp) it’s apparent why they’ve been gigging with Strung Like A Horse so much recently. The quartet of Brennan Walsh on gui-tar, Zack Bowden on bass, Brian Cline on keys and Ben Crannell on drums sounds the way Pink Floyd might have sounded had Roger Waters and Nick Mason

grown up listening to hip-hop. They are to ’70s psychedelia what Strung Like A Horse is to Mon-roe’s bluegrass. They’ve amped it up for a new generation of revel-ers ready to reel with abandon.

While Pink Floyd tended to build lengthy, complex magiste-rial marches, these guys start out jogging before breaking into a run with Walsh’s Gilmour-like lines bursting into frenzied show-ers of metal driven by Crannell’s steady one-two punch. Bassist Bowden plays a richly propulsive counterpoint, pushing at the edge of Walsh and keyboardist Cline’s

freewheeling melodies while Cranell’s steady anchor keeps the music danceable even as it strays far out into psychedelic fancy.

Nobody sings. “Vocals?! Who needs vocals when the music says it all?” they ask on Facebook. They have a point. They do use the voice of a disembodied an-nouncer, whose richly resonant baritone delivers quasi-philo-sophical bromides like a radio announcer in one of those vintage 1950’s sci-fi scare flicks, at points on a couple of the tracks on the EP, but for the most part the ab-sence of a singer isn’t an issue.

The Mayans were convinced that this is the night when every-thing would end in one blinding flash.

This is one party where it just might.

Strung Like A horse End of The World Party with Deep MachineFriday, Dec. 2110 p.m. • $13 (advance)Rhythm & Brews221 market st.rhythm-brews.com

Whether we succumb to flesh-eating zombies, a direct hit by an asteroid or apocalyptic storms and earthquakes, you’ll want to find a memorable way to spend Friday, Dec. 21, your last night on earth. Assuming you don’t already have a bunker ready, there may be no better place than Rhythm & Brews at 10 p.m. on that fateful day, and no better band than Strung Like A Horse to celebrate the end of the world.

RIChARD WINhAM

Richard Winham is the pro-ducer and host of WUTC-FM’s af-ternoon music program and has observed the Chattanooga music scene for more than 25 years.

A Party To End All Parties

RAWPARTY, REDEFINED.2.0

TWO FLOORS • One big paRTy • Live MuSic • Dancing • 409 MaRkeT ST • 423.756.1919

FRI » 12.21.12STEVIE MONCE

SAT » 12.22.12CRITTY UPCHURCH

oPEN 7 DAYs A wEEk » Full mENu uNTIl 2Am » 21+ » smokINg AllowED

LIVE MUSIC THIS WEEKEND

What makes this band perfect for the occasion is the climate of delirium they create. Strung Like A Horse hits the stage like a hurricane, energy popping from every player.

Clay Maselle of strung like a horse.


GET ON A ROLL

CHECK OUR DAILY SPECIALS AT TOTTONOOGA.COM • 330 FRAZIER AVE • STE 124 • 423.508.8898 • TOTTONOOGA.COM

at Totto—Chattanooga’s Premier Sushi Bar & Grill on the North Shore

» ALL YOU CAN EAT SUSHI LUNCH—MON-SAT $11.95!» SPECIAL ROLL 1/2 PRICE DINNER—SUN & TUE

MON & TUE: 1/2 PRICED BEER WED: 1/2 PRICED WINETHUR: 1/2 PRICED MARGARITAS & WELL/CALL DRINKSFRI & SAT: 1/2 PRICED BEER & HOT SAKE SUN: 1/2 PRICED HOUSE WINE & HOT SAKE

DAILYDRINKSPECIALS

Give the Gift of Good HealthBy giving the gift of good health this season, you’ll also receive a gift yourself! Purchase a $100 gift card and receive 10% off

all packages and retail purchases at the time of purchase.

Enjoy the season!PURCHASE GIFT CARDS ONLINE AT PUREBARRE.COM

E BRAINERD 1414 JENKINS ROAD • STE 122 • 423.468.4960 NORTH SHORE 214 MANUFACTURERS ROAD • 423.580.1162 • PUREBARRE.COM


ThU 12.20Audi Burchett7 p.m. sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad st.(423) 508-8956sugarsribs.comAhleuchatistas7:30 p.m. Barking legs Theater, 1307 Dodds ave.(423) 624-5347barkinglegs.orgFull Moon Crazies9 p.m. The honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy.(423) 468-4192thehonestpint.comOld Man: Tribute to Neil Young with John and the Connors9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews,221 market st.rhythm-brews.comThe hearts in Light with human Figures9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 e. mlK Blvd.(423) 266-1400jjsbohemia.com

FRI 12.21Priscilla & Lil Ricky7 p.m. The Foundry, 1201 Broad st.(423) 756-3400chattanooganhotel.comThe Mocha Band7 p.m. mocha Restaurant & lounge, 3116 Brainerd Road (423) 531-4154mochajazz.netThe Chattanooga Fall Out with hygopian, CSU, Red State and more8 p.m. Ziggy’s underground music, 607 cherokee Blvd, (423) 265-8711Roger Alan Wade8 p.m. acoustic café, 61 RBc Drive, Ringgold, ga. (706) 965-2065ringgoldacoustic.comOpposite Box with The Nim Nims8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 e. mlK Blvd.(423) 266-1400jjsbohemia.comhap henninger9 p.m. The office, 901 carter st.(423) 634-9191Tijuana Donkey Show Band9 p.m. skyZoo, 5709 lee hwy.(423) 468-4533skyzoochattanooga.comCrossfire

9 p.m. Barts lakeshore, 5600 lakeshore Dr.(423) 870-0777bartslakeshore.com.Southlander9:30 p.m. sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad st.(423) 508-8956sugarsribs.comStrung Like A horse End of the World Party with Deep Machine10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 market st.rhythm-brews.comNathan Farrow10 p.m. T-Bones, 1419 chestnut st.(423) 266-4240 tboneschattanooga.comThe Fried Chicken Trio10 p.m. Bud’s sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Road(423) 499-9878budssportsbar.comStevie Monce10 p.m. RaW, 409 market st. (423) 756-1919

SAT 12.22Keyz Brown2 p.m. new moon gallery, 307 manufacturers Road(423) 265-6321

Priscilla & Lil Ricky7 p.m. The Foundry,1201 Broad st.(423) 756-3400chattanooganhotel.comThe Mocha Band7 p.m. mocha Restaurant & lounge, 3116 Brainerd Road (423) 531-4154 mochajazz.netTheodis Ealey8 p.m. mocha Restaurant & lounge, 3116 Brainerd Road (423) 531-4154 mochajazz.net“Tattooed Freaks Christmas Party” with husky Burnette9 p.m. Jack a’s chop shop saloon, 742 ashland Terr.(423) 713-8739jackaschopshopsaloon.comCode Blue9 p.m. skyZoo, 5709 lee hwy.(423) 468-4533skyzoochattanooga.comSouthlander9:30 p.m. sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad st.(423) 508-8956 sugarsribs.comYacht Rock Schooner9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 market st.rhythm-brews.comLon Eldridge

10 p.m. The office, 901 carter st.(423) 634-9191Critty Upchurch10 p.m. RaW, 409 market st. (423) 756-1919Sweet Georgia Brown CD Release Show10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 e. mlK Blvd.(423) 266-1400jjsbohemia.com

SUN 12.23PeeWee Moore and Friends8 p.m. RaW, 409 market st. (423) 756-1919

WED 12.26Dan Sheffield7 p.m. sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad st.(423) 508-8956sugarsribs.comMike French8 p.m. acoustic café, 61 RBc Drive, Ringgold, ga. (706) 965-2065ringgoldacoustic.com“Soul Review”8 p.m. meo mio’s cajun & seafood Restaurant, 4119 cummings hwy. (423) 521-7160meomios.comJohnathan Wimpee and Andy Elliot9 p.m. RaW,409 market st. (423) 756-1919Channing Wilson9 p.m. Bud’s sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Road(423) 499-9878 budssportsbar.comPeeWee Moore and Awful Dreaded Snakes9 p.m. Jack a’s chop shop saloon, 742 ashland Terr.(423) 713-8739jackaschopshopsaloon.comFuDog World Premiere with Get hot or Go home9 p.m. The honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy.(423) 468-4192thehonestpint.com

Chattanooga Live MUSIC CALENDAR

JJ’s Bohemia • 231 E MLK Blvd.423.266.1400 • jjsbohemia.com

Thursday • December 20The Hearts in Light • Human Figures

Friday • December 21End of the World Party

Nim Nims • Opposite Box • AnalogSaturday • December 22

Sweet Georgia Brown CD Release ShowThursday • December 27

Cutless Cult • Asian Teacher FactoryFriday • December 28

Baby Baby • SoCroSaturday • December 29

Plvnet • Ledfoot Messiah • Black BettyMonday • December 31New Year’s Eve PartyHow I Became The Bomb

Summer Dregs

Map these locations at chattanoogapulse.com. Send music listings at least 10 days in advance to: [email protected]/theofficechatt

All shows are free with dinner or 2 drinks!Stop by & check out our daily specials!

Happy Hour: Mon-Fri: 4-7pm$1 10oz drafts, $3 32oz drafts,

$2 Wells, $1.50 Domestics, Free Appetizers

901 Carter St(Inside Days Inn)423-634-9191

Thursday, Dec. 20Closed For Repairs

Friday, Dec. 21: 9pmHap Henninger

Saturday, Dec. 22: 10pmLon Eldridge

Tuesday, Dec. 25: 7pmServer/Hotel Appreciation Night

$5 Pitchers ● $2 Wells$1.50 Domestics

2012 New Year’s Weekend Soul & Celebration Tour7 p.m. memorial auditorium, 399 mccallie ave. (423) 757-5156New Year’s Eve Bash featuring A Night Affair Band7 p.m. mocha Restaurant & lounge, 3116 Brainerd Road (423) 531-4154 mochajazz.net“New Year’s Rockin’ Eve Party”7:30 p.m. chattanooga choo choo Victorian lounge, 1400 market st. (423) 266-5000choochoo.comGMA New Year’s Eveill Party9 p.m. Ziggy’s underground music, 607 cherokee Blvd. (423) 265-8711

Ring in the New Year with here Come the Mummies9 p.m. Track 29, 1400 market st.(423) 266-4323track29.coMachines Are People Too,Strung LikeA horse, Lacy Jo, Shark Week9 p.m. The honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy.(423) 468-4192thehonestpint.comThat 90’s New Year’s: All-Star 90’s Party Band9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 market st.rhythm-brews.comhow I Became the Bomb with Summer Dregs10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 e. mlK Blvd.(423) 266-1400 jjsbohemia.com

NEW YEAR’S EVE

email your nYe party info to [email protected]


ALL SHOWS 21+ UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED • NON-SMOKING VENUE

221 MARKET STREETHOT MUSIC • FINE BEER • GREAT FOOD

BUY TICKETS ONLINE • RHYTHM-BREWS.COM

LIVE MUSIC

CHATTANOOGA DEC

20THU.9:30p

21FRI. 10pSTRUNG LIKE A HORSEEND OF THE WORLD PARTY with DEEP MACHINE

22SAT.9:30pYACHT ROCK SCHOONER

SOLID GOLD 70’s PARTY ALL NIGHT

27THU.9:30pDARK HORSE TEN

with ENDELOUZ — Straight up rock

28FRI.10p

12/29: DEPARTURE: A TRIBUTE TO JOURNEY 12/31: THAT 90’s NEW YEAR’S: All Star 90’s Party Band

MILELE ROOTSA CHRISTMAS REGGAE PARTY

OLD MAN Tribute to Neil Youngwith JOHN and the CONNORS

Full food menu serving lunch and dinner. 11am-2am, 7 days a week.

35 Patten Parkway * 423.468.4192thehonestpint.com * Facebook.com/thehonestpint

honest music local and regional showsWed, Dec 19Thu, Dec 20Wed, Dec 26Thu, Dec 27

9pm9pm9pm9pm

Function with Gabriel Newell and Muddy Soul ($3)Full Moon Crazies [$3]FuDog World Premiere with Get Hot or Go Home ($3)The Tammy’s with Low Strung Assassins ($3)

New Year’s Eve Machines Are People Too • Strung Like A Horse • Lacy Jo • Shark Week

Doors 10pm • Champagne Room • Two Bars, Upstairs/Downstairs • Dancing Sundays: Live Trivia 4-6pm • Free Live Irish Music 7pm

Dec 23: Molly Maguires Molly Christmas

Between the Sleeves RECORD REVIEWS • ERNIE PAIK

The legendary Brazilian mu-sician, singer and songwriter Jorge Ben just doesn’t get the respect he so richly deserves in the Western world. This writer was surprised to hear a rendition of his most popu-lar track, “Mas, Que Nada!,” as part of a parade at Disney’s Animal Kingdom in Florida last year. It was downright painful to hear Goofy singing it, imploring people to join him, in a cringeworthy hill-billy-esque voice. The Black Eyed Peas’ hip-hop rendition of that track from a few years ago is equally awkward. Heck, Rod Stewart unintentionally plagiarized Ben’s “Taj Mahal” for his disco hit “Da Ya Think I’m Sexy?” Come on, people—respect.

Thankfully, the Wrasse la-bel has stepped up with the release of the generous two-CD, 40-track Jorge: The De-finitive Collection. It’s a per-fect introduction to Ben’s bril-liance, created with the point of view that his 60’s and 70’s output was his towering cre-ative plateau. The compilation covers eleven of his albums, starting with his 1963 debut album, continuing up to 1976 with Africa Brasil, and end-ing with its sole contemporary cut, “Mexe Mexe” from 2004. It begins, appropriately, with “Mas, Que Nada!,” which demonstrates from the very beginning that Ben had an effortless charm and a warm,

distinctive voice—controlled, yet infused with energy. His arrangements are practically spotless and immediately likeable, with samba-rooted numbers enhanced by strings and horns.

Ample time is spent with three of his masterpieces, 1969’s Jorge Ben, the alche-my-and-mysticism-themed A Tábua de Esmeralda, and the deep, funk rhythms of Africa Brasil, which features the greatest song ever made about soccer, “Ponta de Lança Africano (Umbabarauma).” There’s no “A Minha Menina,” and the lengthy, repetitive “Filhos De Gandhi,” a col-laboration with Gilberto Gil, interrupts the collection’s mo-mentum, but those quibbles aside, Jorge: The Definitive Collection, short of a complete anthology of his 60’s and 70’s work, lives up to its title.

The indie label Teenbeat Records was formed in the Washington D.C. area by high-school student Mark Robinson and classmates, starting out with punk-influenced mate-rial and home-recording silli-ness, with nods to the British label Factory Records and the ’70s art-rock band Henry Cow.

As offbeat and eclectic as it was, TeenBeat was eventu-ally known most prominently for Robinson’s own groups, including the acclaimed Un-rest, Air Miami and Flin Flon, along with a sort of twee indie-pop/rock attitude.

Nearly a decade in the mak-ing, the debut album Circular Scratch from Stick Insect, the one-woman project of Jean-nine Durfee, seems to be a sort of meta-TeenBeat record, combining a breezy cuteness with a kind of Flin-Flon-in-spired post-post-punk, using single-note sonic paths.

Durfee was previously in the quirky pop band The Sister-hood of Convoluted Thinkers with multi-instrumentalist Rob Christiansen (of TeenBeat groups Eggs and Grenadine), and Christiansen contributes percussion and drums on about half of the album, plus guitar and trombone. Other-wise, Durfee uses a drum ma-chine to set the pace, typically setting up a structure with a bass line, adding flute and glockenspiel flourishes, and singing with a reserved man-

ner approaching a whisper. However, on the opening

“Stick” (reprised identically as the closing track “Insect”) Durfee interjects “Stick in-sect!” followed by manic beat-box breakdowns and disori-ented notes. Out of the blue, there’s even a bossa nova sec-tion adding to the confusion. “Mites” contrasts Durfee’s se-rene voice and flute with elec-tronics-heavy outbursts, and “Magicicada” is an odd mud-dle, with a max-speed drum machine and banjo notes.

Perhaps the album’s finest moment is the upbeat “Sexob,” an acceptance of being out-of-step and backwards. Upon second listen, Stick Insect is less about the tight rigor of Flin Flon or being precious, but instead it’s about project-ing Durfee’s off-kilter musical personality, both gentle and weird.

Jorge BenJorge: The Definitive collection (Wrasse)

Stick Insectcircular scratch(TeenBeat)


This is “Predator,” a photo by Sale Creek photographer Misty Fugate that was recently selected for Project Imagin8ion, a hybrid photo/video project by cameramaker Canon and film director Ron Howard.

“I like shooting hu-man emotions, and I fo-cus more on the darker side,” Fugate said. “We all have that. Some of us recognize it, some of us confront it, but it’s still kind of a touchy subject.”

Though the subject matter is dark, Fugate’s photos have an in-tense lyrical beauty. This is no art photo version of a splatter movie. She is more interested in what’s

hidden. That’s why in this photo, she said, “The face is not shown. I think it’s important that the viewer cannot identify that with one particular image.”

She also built out the scenario in the Canon photo into a short video, which can be seen on her “DreamPicsDiaries” Facebook page. First we see two little girls playing in an idyllic setting. The

figure from the photo appears, the little girls run. Seeing this menac-ing presence translated from static to moving image is surprisingly jarring, but if there is

any violence, it happens off cam-era.

“It doesn’t necessarily have to mean a child predator, it doesn’t have to be so literal,” Fugate said. “It could be because of somebody in particular, or it could just be an experience that makes you kind of lose a piece of yourself.”

She said she uses her work as therapy. “A lot of what you see is my own experience, what I’ve seen, what I’ve witnessed other people go through. I did grow up in a pretty violent environment when I was a kid, and I watched my mom go through some very horrific things. Some people keep diaries, some people go to thera-pists to talk it out. This is my way of dealing with that, almost using it as healing process, not just for me but my family as well. It was definitely a horrible situation that I’m trying to rectify through my work.”

Fugate started as a portrait photographer 13 years ago, but she said her professional career took off six or seven years ago when she shifted to pursuing her own creative vision.

Fugate has been on a roll for the last two years, with her work being published regularly in Vogue Italia. She’s had eight book covers in the last year, mostly in Europe. “Apparently France loves my work,” she said. She said she also was recently contacted by “a huge author” she can’t name about commissioning her to

shoot the cover or an upcoming novel, and she’s talking to galler-ies in New York, San Diego, the Netherlands and Canada about showing her work. In the next year or so, Fugate said she wants to offer workshops to help other photographers explore their more artistic side.

There’s more menace in some of the photos published in Vogue and on book covers: a cloaked child by a dark lake, another holding a teddy bear in one hand and a butcher knife in the other. But others have more of a fan-tasy vibe: stone castles, clouds of birds circling a woman in a field, heads replaced by a light bulb or a spouting water faucet.

The Canon/Ron Howard proj-ect went through several phases to winnow more than 75,000 submitted photos down to 91 images in 10 storytelling catego-ries: backstory, character, goal, obstacle, mood, relationship, setting, the unknown, time and discovery. Five celebrity directors then selected 10 photos to inspire short films that will be produced and shown in 2013 at the Canon Project Imagin8ion Film Festi-val.

Fugate’s “Predator” photo was selected in the “mood” category and then chosen by celebrity di-rector Georgina Chapman, co-founder of the Marchesa fashion label.

“I truly think the most impor-tant thing about photography—and it doesn’t matter what genre you shoot—is every photo should tell some kind of story,” Fugate said. “And there always has to be mood. If there’s no mood, there’s no story.”

Every element of the photo also needs to support the narra-tive, Fugate added. “I try to tell it as if I’m reading you a book from chapter 1 through to the last chapter,” she said. “Or perhaps there’s a cliffhanger that’s going to be present in that image.”

Ultimately, what Fugate wants is for her viewer to feel real emo-tion: “I don’t want it to be con-trived. I want them to have a genuine, honest experience when they see it. If I’ve even made someone experience that then I’ve succeeded in my job. It’s con-veying story, conveying emotion, conveying a mood. I just want them to view it honestly.”

By Rich Bailey

The grass is lush green, but the forest shadows are deep. A black-clad figure spattered in blood holds—almost delicately—an upside down baby doll.

On The Dark Side

Misty Fugate’s moody images explore the darker side of human emotion—and the world is taking notice.

Arts

Misty fugate’s “Predator” was selected by celebrity director georgina Chapman as inspiration for a short film that will be shown at the 2013 Canon Project imagin8ion film festival.


While the “Lord of the Rings” trilogy relied heav-ily on it as well, most of the Orcs and Goblins were played by actors in pros-thetics and makeup—very good makeup that added realism and verisimilitude to the story. “The Hob-bit,” unfortunately, is full of CGI bad guys that lack the depth that was such a benefit to the original tril-ogy. I can only imagine what it would look like on the screens where the film was shown in 48 frames per second. The word car-toony comes to mind. But despite my annoyance at CGI monsters, “The Hob-bit” was enjoyable and will likely please many fans.

“The Hobbit” was the first story of Middle Earth, the story that introduced Hobbits and Elves and Wizards and Orcs, Sting and Glamdring, songs and whimsy. This whimsy is what defined “The Hob-bit,” which is much lighter in tone than the trilogy. It is, at its heart, about a loveably homebody who finds adventure in a magi-cal and dangerous world. In the process, Bilbo Bag-gins learns that the world is wide and his place in it is more important than he can imagine. It’s a nice story for young kids look-ing to discover where they fit in their own worlds.

Peter Jackson has taken this idea and run with it, in exhausting and deliber-ate detail, creating a nearly three-hour spectacle that is fun but tiring. I’ve seen far too many films this year that take up the ma-

jority of my day. I’d really like to see a story told in a shorter format, but Jack-son is not a film-maker known for brevity.

If you don’t know the story, it’s fairly simple. Bilbo Baggins is recruited as a burglar by a company of elves looking to return to their home-land after being driven away by an evil dragon. Along the way, the group encounters all sorts of magical creatures and fac-es enormous danger. It’s an adventure story, noth-ing more. Jackson, howev-er, doesn’t see it that way. If he did, he wouldn’t have made three movies.

Martin Freeman does a competent job as the titu-lar character—although Bilbo doesn’t always seem to be the star of his own film. Instead, there is more time given to the dwarf king Thorin Oak-enshield. On one hand, this makes sense, as Bilbo is having his first adven-ture and Thorin has had several. But on the other, the film might be better

served by focusing on Bil-bo’s eccentricities and dis-comfort on the road. This

is woven into the dialogue, but I’d like to have been shown more of it though action. Ian McKellen is back as Gandalf,

owning the role as only he can, but the strongest performance here is from Andy Serkis as Gollum. Serkis has shown his abili-ties time and again and it is far past time that the Academy gives him a nod. He has more talent than most well-known actors working today.

Ultimately, “The Hob-bit” is a film that was made for fans of J.R.R. Tolkien. It is unlikely to win over new disciples or make much of a splash in the critical world. All that needed to be said about Middle Earth can be found in the original trilogy. That was the bet-ter story. It legitimately deserved three films and exquisite detail. The Hob-bit trilogy, at the end of all things, may end up being a letdown. Time will tell.

Ah, Middle Earth. We last visited in Peter Jackson’s “Lord of the Rings” tril-ogy and we’re back again in “The Hobbit,” a visual retelling of the book that started it all. Filmed in the part of New Zealand that has far fewer sheep than the majority of the country, Jackson’s Middle Earth is vast and epic, dotted with jagged mountains and deep woods, powerful rivers and gentle pastures. “The Hobbit” is a visual film, as much as its predecessors, but it relies a bit too much on CGI.

Middle Earth Light

ScreenJOhN DEVORE


ThU 12.20

Deck the Falls8 a.m.-8 p.m. Ruby Falls, 1720 s. scenic hwy.(423) 821-2544rubyfalls.comChattanooga Symphony and Opera at North hamilton County Elementary School9:30 a.m. north hamilton county elementary school, 601 Industrial Blvd.chattanoogasymphony.orgholiday Open house10 a.m.- 8 p.m. Warehouse Row, 1110 market st.(423) 267-1127warehouserow.netWinter Wonders10 a.m.-5 p.m. creative Discovery museum, 321 chestnut st. (423) 756-2738cdmfun.orgChattanooga Sorority Women Meet and Greek1:30- 2:30 p.m. The church on main, 1601 Rossville ave.(423) [email protected] Pole Limited Train Rides5:45, 7:30 & 9:15 p.m. Tennessee Valley Railroad museum, 4119 cromwell Road(423) 894-8028tvrail.comRayn Christmas Show and Toy/Gift Drive6-9 p.m. Bessie smith cultural center, 200 e. martin luther King Blvd.(423) 266-8658bessiesmithcc.org“Annie”7 p.m. chattanooga Theatre centre, 400 River st. (423) 267-8538theatrecentre.comSandi Patty & Jason Crabb: A Christmas Celebration7-9 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad st.(423) 642-TIXschattanoogaonstage.comJames Rogers “home for Christmas”7 p.m. colonnade center at Benton Place campus, 264 catoosa circle, Ringgold, ga.(706) 935-9000colonnadecenter.org

home for the holidays Showcase7:30 p.m. The comedy catch, 3224 Brainerd Road(423) 629-2233thecomedycatch.com

FRI 12.21“Femme”: An Art Exhibition9-5 p.m. shuptrine’s gold leaf Designs, 2646 Broad st.(423) 266-4453shuptrines.comChattanooga holiday Market10 a.m.-6 p.m. chattanooga convention center,

1100 carter st.(423) 649-2496chattanoogamarket.comholidays Under the Peaks (Thru Jan. 6, 2013)10 a.m.-6 p.m. Tennessee aquarium Plaza, 1 Broad st. (423) 402-9960tnaqua.org29th Annual holiday Gift Wrap(Thru Dec. 24) 10 a.m.- 10 p.m. hamilton Place, 2100 hamilton Place Blvd.(423) 757-5259 kidsontheblock.net12 Days of Christmas at Chattanooga Zoo

5:30-8 p.m. chattanooga Zoo, 301 n. holtzclaw ave.(423) 697-1322chattzoo.orgholiday Lights5:30-8 p.m. chattanooga Zoo, 301 n. holtzclaw ave.(423) 697-1322chattzoo.orghome for the holidays Comedy Showcase7 p.m. The comedy catch, 3224 Brainerd Road(423) 629-2233thecomedycatch.com“Annie”8 p.m. chattanooga Theatre centre, 400 River st. (423) 267-8538theatrecentre.comClaude Stuart9:30 p.m. Vaudeville café, 138 market st. (423) 517-1839funnydinner.com

SAT 12.22Chattanooga holiday Market11 a.m.-5 p.m. chattanooga convention center, 1100 carter st.(423) 649-2496chattanoogamarket.comRiver Market10 a.m. Tennessee aquarium Plaza, 1 Broad st. (423) 402-9960 chattanoogamarket.comSanta Brings holiday Festivities to Warehouse Row11 a.m.- 4 p.m. Warehouse Row, 1110 market st.(423) 267-1127warehouserow.net“Annie”2:30 & 8 p.m. chattanooga Theatre centre, 400 River st. (423) 267-8538theatrecentre.com12 Days of Christmas at Chattanooga Zoo5:30-8 p.m. chattanooga Zoo, 301 n. holtzclaw ave.(423) 697-1322chattzoo.orgholiday Lights5:30-8 p.m. chattanooga Zoo, 301 n. holtzclaw ave.(423) 697-1322

Arts Entertainment& CALENDAR

“ANNIE”• The Tony Award-winning musical based on the “Little Orphan Annie” comic strip by Harold Gray makes a holiday run at the Chattanooga Theatre Centre. The cast is headlined by 10-year-old Emmy McKenzie of Decatur, who plays the title role, and includes one canine, Rocky, who plays the role of Sandy in the production.ThRU 12.23 • chattanooga Theatre centre • 400 River st.(423) 267-8538 • theatrecentre.com


chattzoo.orgEnchanted Garden of Lights6-9 p.m. Rock city, 1400 Patten Road,lookout mountina, ga.(800) 854-0675seerockcity.comhome for the holidays Comedy Showcase7 p.m. The comedy catch, 3224 Brainerd Road(423) 629-2233thecomedycatch.comClaude Stuart10:30 p.m. Vaudeville café, 138 market st. (423) 517-1839funnydinner.com

SUN 12.23Deck the Falls8 a.m.-8 p.m. Ruby Falls, 1720 s. scenic hwy.(423) 821-2544rubyfalls.comChattanooga holiday Market11 a.m.-4 p.m. chattanooga convention center, 1100 carter st. (423) 649-2496chattanoogamarket.com“Annie”2:30 p.m. chattanooga Theatre centre, 400 River st.

(423) 267-8538theatrecentre.comEvensong5:30 p.m. The camp house, 1427 Williams st.(423) 702-8081thecamphouse.comEnchanted Garden of Lights6-9 p.m. Rock city, 1400 Patten Road, lookout mountain, ga.(800) 854-0675seerockcity.com

MON 12.24Deck the Falls8 a.m.-8 p.m. Ruby Falls, 1720 s. scenic hwy.(423) 821-254rubyfalls.comEnchanted Garden of Lights6-9 p.m. Rock city, 1400 Patten Road,lookout mountain, ga.(800) 854-0675seerockcity.com

TUE 12.25Deck the Falls8 a.m.-8 p.m. Ruby Falls, 1720 s. scenic hwy.(423) 821-2544

rubyfalls.comEnchanted Garden of Lights6-9 p.m. Rock city, 1400 Patten Road.lookout mountain, ga.(800) 854-0675seerockcity.com

WED 12.26Deck the Falls8 a.m.-8 p.m. Ruby Falls, 1720 s. scenic hwy.(423) 821-2544rubyfalls.comJuried Members Exhibition11 a.m.- 5 p.m. aVa gallery, 30 Frazier ave.(423) 265-4282avarts.orgEnchanted Garden of Lights6-9 p.m. Rock city, 1400 Patten Road,lookout mountain, ga.(800) 854-0675seerockcity.com

Map these locations at chattanoogapulse.com. Send calendar listings at least 10 days in advance to: [email protected].

New Year’s at Noon11 a.m.-1 p.m. creative Discovery museum, 321 chestnut st. (423) 756-2738cdmfun.orgNew Year’s Eve Celebration11 a.m.- 1:30 a.m. hair of the Dog, 334 market st.(423) 265-4615hairofthedogpub.netSouthern Belle Riverboat’s New Year’s on the River Cruise4:30 & 8 p.m. southern Belle Riverboat, 201 Riverfront Pkwy. (800) 766-2784chattanoogariverboat.comDinner at Broad Street Grille5-10 p.m. The Broad street grille, 1201 Broad st. (423) 424-3700

chattanooganhotel.com“New Year’s Eve Sleep in the Deep”6:45 p.m. Tennessee aquarium Plaza, 1 Broad st. (423) 402-9960chattanoogamarket.comNew Year’s Eve Show with Josh Phillips and Koe Kilgallon7 & 9:30 p.m. The comedy catch, 3224 Brainerd Road(423) 629-2233thecomedycatch.com2012 New Year’s Weekend Soul & Celebration Tour7 p.m. memorial auditorium, 399 mccallie ave. (423) 757-5156New Year’s Gospel Jubilee 20127 p.m. The colonnade center, Benton Place campus, Ringgold, ga., (423) 718-4682

colonnadecenter.org“New Year’s Rockin’ Eve Party”7:30 p.m. chattanooga choo choo Victorian lounge, 1400 market st. (423) 266-5000choochoo.comNew Year’s Eve at Southern Comfort8 p.m. southern comfort, 511 Broad st.(423) 386-5921southerncom-fortchatt.comNew Year’s Eve at the hunter8:30 p.m. hunter museum of american art, 10 Bluff View ave.(423) 267-0968huntermuseum.orgNew Year’s Eve atTop of the Dock5600 lake Resort Terr.(423) 876-3356topofthedock.net

NEW YEAR’S EVE

Where the Liquor is Cheap& the Entertainment is Free

We will meet or beat anyadvertised price in Chattanooga!

Holiday CheerOn Sale Now!Holiday CheerOn Sale Now!Johnnie Walker Red

1.75L • $33.99J&B Scotch 1.75L • $31.99

Dewars 1.75L • $ 35.97Knob Creek 1.75L • $46.88

Stoli 1.75L • $28.77Ketel One

1.75L • 39.88Popcorn Sutton

Moonshine • $29.99Troy & Sons Platinum Moonshine • $29.99

Ole Smokey Moonshine • $23.99

Robert Mondavi Woodbridge 1.5L • $9.98

Redwood Creek 1.5 -L • $9.98

Andre Champagne $ 5.99 or 2 for $10 total

Cooks • $ 5.99Beaujolais Nouveau

$9.98

Pre-Mix Holiday Cocktails and Egg Nogs Available

Lots of in-store Holiday Specials and Gift Sets


For this special holiday col-umn, we’ve picked Maryhill Wines from the fertile soil of the Columbia Valley in Wash-ington State. Maryhill Wines are new to Chattanooga and offer a little something for ev-eryone, from the casual sipper to the hardcore connoisseur.

Maryhill Winery is a rela-tively young vineyard. It was started in 1999 by Craig and Vicki Leuthold, married en-trepreneurs with separate careers who both shared the same desire to experience more out of life by follow-ing their common passion of making great wines. They purchased several thousand acres in Goldendale, located at the southern tip of the Co-lumbia Valley, Washington State’s premier wine-produc-ing region. Goldendale is not only breathtakingly beautiful (and once explored by Lewis and Clark), but is also known for the three essential ingredi-ents needed for the cultivation of outstanding wine that vine-yards use to make fine wine:

• A warm growing season. • Cool breezes to oxidize and

nurture the developing fruit. • A healthy, rainy season. By 2000, the Leuthold’s be-

gan construction on their win-ery overlooking Gunkel Vine-yard, perhaps the oldest and most-fertile vineyard in Wash-ington State. One year later, Maryhill Vineyard opened its doors, becoming the 100th winery in the state. That first year, Maryhill yielded just 5,000 cases, but through hard work and dedication, matched only by the greater successes of the wine industry, Maryhill

was voted Washington State’s 2009 Winery of the Year by Washington Press Northwest.

Today, Maryhill produces more than 80,000 cases of wine per year, currently offer-ing up to 30 varietals. Riley’s is happy to welcome Maryhill Wines to our store by offering nine of their best. Each wine or varietal displays both char-acteristics of wines cultivated in the Columbia Valley and Maryhill’s dedication to craft-ing them a cut above the rest.

Featured Maryhill Wines1. 2009 Cabernet Sauvi-

gnon ($13.95); Fruity aromas of plum, blackberry plus some honey give over to flavors of

sharp cherry, figs, anise and violets. This wine contains some big fruit and isn’t overly tanic making it a truly charac-teristic of Cabernet grown in the Columbia Valley.

2. 2008 Merlot ($13.95)

In a word—smooth—as Mer-lot should be. Expect aro-mas of raspberry jam, coffee and some eucalyptus, while the palate contains flavors of blackberries, toffee, black pep-per and cherry which linger to the finish.

3. 2009 Chardonnay ($8.24): This classy Colum-bia Valley Chard (more fruit, less creaminess) starts off with aromas of lime and pear, which give it tropical charac-ter. A touch of vanilla and oak give way to a full fruit forward assault of lemon, apple, hon-eydew melon, followed by a nicely rounded finish of nut-meg and fig.

4. 2010 Riesling ($8.24): Riesling has always sharply divided wine drinkers. You either love it or leave it. Lov-ers of the sweeter side of this grape will be very pleased in-deed with aromas and flavors of lime, pear, apple and orange blossom. Maryhill’s Riesling stands its own ground next to Chateau Ste. Michelle’s “War-horse” Rieslings. CSM beware!

5. 2009 Pinot Grigio ($8.24): This golden-colored

wine meets wine drinkers in the middle with well-balanced acidity, putting it neither into the sweeter or the dryer cat-egories. Expect refreshing aro-mas of citrus, green apple and light pear which eases you into flavors of grapefruit, citrus and pear, finishing with a bit of nutmeg.

6. 2008 Maryhill Zinfan-del ($13.95): Unique Red Zin-fandel offers aromas of dark cherry, which carry over to the palate along with choco-late, raspberry and coffee. But wait—more is in store with a palate detecting the flavors getting deeper, while this Zin becomes a bit more tanicly ag-gressive.

7. 2010 Maryhill Wine Maker’s White Blend ($8.29): A blend of Chardon-nay, Sauvingnon Blanc, Semi-llon and Viognier, creating a very mild aroma of dried fruit, that turns into fresh flavors of nuts and baked apples.

8. 2010 Maryhill Wine Maker’s Red ($8.24): A nice balanced blend of 40 per-cent Cabernet Sauvignon, 30 percent Merlot, 20 percent Syrah and 10 percent Caber-net Franc. This wine gives off pleasing aromas of black cher-ry, blackberries and hints of vanilla, that lead to outstand-ing flavors of black cherry, chocolate and anise, leading to an exciting French vanilla finish.

9. 2010 Sauvignon Blanc ($8.24): This drier white wine is absolutely bursting with a wide assortment of citrus fruit, including orange, lemon, red grapefruit—but that’s not all. It follows through with green apples and honeydew melons. This wine works alone or pairs well with salads and/or fish.

Riley’s invites you to try them all, and don’t forget: Wine makes for the perfect gift. Cheers!

—Joshua Hurley

Washington WineGreat Buys is back for the holidays! Longtime readers of The Pulse will remember Great Buys as a weekly column, in which Riley’s Wine & Spirits picks something spe-cial from the its larges selection of adult beverages from around the world, discusses it’s origins and taste, then of-fers it up at an insanely low price.

GREAT BUYS

Maryhill Wines, from the fertile soil of the Columbia Valley in Washington State, are new to Chattanooga,

Maryhill vineyards in golden Dale, Wash., feature grapes from the fertile soil of the state’s Columbia valley.

LIQUORGrey Goose Vodka 1.75L $49.97Johnnie Walker Black 1.75L $59.95Dewars White Label Scotch 1.75L $35.97Bombay Sapphire Gin 1.75L $40.96Glenlivet 12 YearSingle Malt Scotch 1.75L $57.98Beefeater Gin 1.75L $25.94Johnnie Walker Red Scotch 1.75L $35.46Bombay Gin 1.75L $35.46Bailey Irish Cream 1.75L $34.96Amaretto Disaronno 1.75L $34.96

Serving Chattanooga for 36 Years

If You’re Not Shopping at Riley’s, You’re Paying Too Much ...

See Us and Compare!

Wine of the Month

Sterling Napa Valley Wines 750MLCabernet Sauvignon ...............................$24.53Chardonnay .............................................$16.61Merlot ......................................................$21.99

Sterling Collection Wines 750MLCab, Merlot, Chard & and Sauv. Blanc $9.97

Robert Mondavi “Private Selection”New 1.5L ......$13.95750ML ............$7.96

Turning Leaf Wines All Varietals1.5L .................$8.97750ML ............$7.96

Robert Mondavi WoodbridgeCabernet, Chardonnay, Merlot–All Varietals1.5L .................$9.97White Zinfandel 1.5L .................$5.67

4818 Hixson Pike•870-2156Mon.-Thurs.•8:30am-10pmFri. & Sat.•8:30am-11pm

Like us on Facebook

The Perfect Gift

OuR OWN SeLeCTeDChATTANOOGA WhISkeY 1816 BARReL 750ML $23.66MACALLAN hIGhLANDSINGLe MALT SCOTCh 12 YRS OLD 1.75L $81.92 • SAVe 11.90750ML $47.91 • SAVe $6.82

PeR BOTTLe

PeR BOTTLe

Food Drink&


ComixCHATTANOOGA’S #1 GOLD BUYER

wants to give you MONEY for your jewelry! Get paid TOP-DOLLAR just like Rick’s

thousands of satisfied customers!WWW.RICKDAVISGOLDANDDIAMONDS.COM

CHRISTMAS CASH?

God Bless!Rick Davis

RICK DAVIS GOLD & DIAMONDS5301 Brainerd Rd at McBrien Rd • 423.499.9162

SEARCH RESUMES, JOBS & REGISTER TO PLACE YOUR JOB POST TOdAY! CHATTANOOGAJOBPOST.COM

FINd YOUR NExT GREAT HIRE FOR FREE!Post your vacancy for free this holiday season

using this code through Dec. 31: FREEVisit ChattanoogaJobPost.com, click “Post a Job,” register and use the code “FREE” to post your job free through Dec. 31, 2012!

Express Yourself in

60

Seconds

Pick or Create

Your Card Online...

Type Your Message...

Click Send!

We’ll print it, stuff it,

stamp it and mail it

for you!

It’s as Easy as 1-2-3!

Create your card at

www.SendOutCards.com/teresab


Free Will Astrology ROB BREZSNY

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): In 2013, I pledge to conspire with you to achieve more mixtures, connections, accords, and unifica-tions than you ever thought pos-sible. I will furthermore be a fount of suggestions about how you can live well in two worlds. I will coach you to create a peace treaty with your evil twin and your nemesis, and I will help you develop a knack for steering clear of other people’s bad ideas and sour moods. I can’t of course guarantee that you will never again experience a broken heart, but I swear I will do every-thing I can do to heal the broken part of your heart that you’ve been suffering from.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): When he was 21, the Capricorn writer Jack London set off to pros-pect for gold in the 1897 Klondike Gold Rush. He had a rough time there. Malnourished, he suffered from scurvy and leg pain. To make matters worse, he didn’t find much gold, and returned home broke. On the other hand, he met scores of adventure seekers who told him stories of their travels. These tales served as rich raw material for his novel “The Call of the Wild,” pub-lished in 1903. It made him famous and is generally regarded as his masterpiece. I’m guessing you will begin a similar trajectory in 2013, Capricorn. Events that may at first seem less than successful will ulti-mately breed a big breakthrough.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): I can’t force you to seek more plea-sure in 2013. I won’t nag you to play harder and explore the frontiers of feeling really good. However, I will say this: If you don’t plan to put yourself into at least partial align-ment with the cosmic mandate to have maximum fun, you may not get the best use out of the advice I’ll be offering though my horoscopes in the coming year. Please consider the possibility of ramping up your capacity for pure enjoyment.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): The study of ancient Mayan civilization owes a lot to the fact that Ameri-cans started buying lots of chew-ing gum in the late 19th century. For a long time, chicle was one of the prime ingredients in Chiclets, Juicy Fruit, Bazooka bubble gum, and many other brands of chewing gum. Chicle is obtained from the sap of sapodilla trees, which grow in abundance in Central America and Mexico. Over the decades, workers harvesting the chicle ac-cidentally found many Mayan ruins covered in overgrown vegetation, then told archaeologists about their discoveries. I foresee a meta-phorically comparable sequence happening in your life during 2013.

In unexpected ways, you will be put back in touch with and benefit from lost, forgotten, or unexplored parts of the past.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Isaac Newton is regarded as one of the most influential scientists in histo-ry. But the time he spent as a mem-ber of the English Parliament was undistinguished. The only public comment he ever made while serv-ing there was a request to close the window because he was cold. After analyzing 2013’s astrological aspects, Aries, I’m guessing that you should cultivate a firm inten-tion to avoid doing what Newton did. Keep playing to your strengths and emphasizing what you love. Don’t get sidetracked by peripheral concerns.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In 2013, I’d like to help you cultivate an even more reliable relationship with your intuitions and hunches than you already have. You may not need much guidance from me, since the astrological omens indicate this will happen quite nat-urally. There’s another kind of in-spiration I hope to offer you: clues about how to be “bad” in ways that will give your goodness more vigor. And when I say “bad,” I’m not referring to nastiness or insen-sitivity, but rather to wildness and playfulness and experimentation. Here’s one further service I want to provide, Taurus: helping you build a greater capacity to receive gifts, blessings, and support.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In the year 1900, few people believed that human beings would ever fly through the sky in machines. For years, the Wright Brothers had a hard time convincing anyone to believe their flights were actually taking place, even though they had photos and witness reports as documentation. Although the leap you’ll be capable of in 2013 isn’t quite as monumental as the Wright Brothers’, it could be pretty im-portant in the history of your own life. You may also have to deal with skepticism akin to what they had to face. Be true to your vision, Gemini!

CANCER (June 21-July 22): In 2013, I predict you will see why it’s wise to phase out an influence you have loved to hate for far too long. You will also have a talent for purg-ing emotional burdens and psychic debris that you’ve been holding on to since the bad old days. No later than your birthday, if all goes well, you will be free from a subtle curse you’ve been casting on yourself; you will finally be attending to one of your long-neglected needs; and you will have turned some rather gawky, half-assed wizardry into a

smooth and silky magic.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): In 2013, I pledge to help you raise your lov-ability. It’s not that you are unlov-able now, of course, but there’s al-ways room for improvement, right? And if people become even more attracted to you than they already are, then you’re likely to get a lot of collaborative and cooperative work done. You will thrive as you and your allies work on projects that make your corner of the world a better and more interesting place. So what are the first three actions you could take to raise your lov-ability?

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Have you ever thought to yourself, “I’m afraid I will never achieve my no-blest dreams or live according to my highest ideas”? There’s a very good chance that in the coming year you will banish that fear from the sacred temple of your imagina-tion. “Have you ever wondered if maybe you unconsciously under-mine the efforts of people who are trying to assist you?” In the coming months you should discover ex-actly what to do to prevent such a thing from happening. Third ques-tion: Do you know the single most important question you should be asking in 2013? Answer: I predict you will figure that out sometime in the next three weeks.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In 2013, I will be encouraging you to journey into the frontiers and ex-periment with the unknown. I will seek to inspire you to go in search of teachings you’ve needed for a long time. Are you ready for this expansion, Libra? Are you feeling a natural urge to explore forbidden zones and discover missing se-crets and mess with your outmod-ed taboos? As you might imagine, doing this work would motivate you to develop a healthier relationship with your fears. To bolster your courage, I suggest you find some new freedom songs to sing.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In 2013, I will do what I can to ensure that your fiscal biorhythms are in close alignment with the universal cash flow. You should have pretty good instincts about this worthy project yourself, Scorpio. And so there’s an excellent chance that your wealth will increase. The up-grade will be especially dramatic if you are scheming about how you can share your riches and benefit other people with your generosity. I think there will also be an interest-ing fringe benefit if you maintain integrity as you enhance your ac-cess to valuable resources: You will develop a more useful relationship with your obsessive tendencies.

Love is a warm donut.

Now Open Downtown!841 Chestnut St. (Corner of MLK and Chestnut)

Monday-Saturday • 6am-6pmClosed Sunday423.531.0930

East Brainerd1414 Jenkins Road (next to Lupi’s)

Monday-Thursday • 6am-8pmFriday & Saturday • 6am-10pm

Sunday • 7am-2:30pm423.531.3444

TastyDaylightDonuts.com • Facebook.com/TastyDonuts

80 varieties made fresh daily!

Customize your selectionat our Donut Toppings Bar!

We Deliver Downtown!

Try our fundraising program!


ACROSS1. Alabama Shakes or Sparklehorse5. Tarbell and Lupino9. Bellicose god13. ___ about (roughly)14. Jeremy of “Suburgatory”16. Lymph ___17. It’s the end of The World!...actually, it’s a radio station mentioned at the end of PRI’s “The World”19. “Yeah, right!”20. Farm refrain21. It’s the end of the world!...or, the country home to Ushuaia, the southernmost city in the world23. Sound system name24. “___ Married an Axe Murderer”25. Food drive unit26. Throb28. Earth Day prefix30. Hole in one’s knowledge33. It’s the end of The World!...or not, since that was the first

company to provide access to it in 198937. Become rigid39. Shakespearean king40. Snatches42. Person who says “Breaker, breaker...”43. Get really mad45. It’s the end of the world!...if you sort the countries alphabetically47. Boat with two goats48. “The Greatest”50. Coyote score51. Verbal ability53. Series set in Las Vegas55. Black Panther Party co-founder Bobby59. It’s the end of The World!...or at least it’s seen in the bottom corner of the tarot card The World62. “Peer Gynt” playwright63. Dominates64. It’s the end of the world!...if you want to get really literal about it66. Be a computer programmer

67. “Cars” singer Gary68. St. that legalized marijuana in 201269. Rope feature70. Dick Tracy’s girl71. Chrysler model

DOwN1. Acknowledged the applause2. Prefix before -plasty3. Prize given to Carter and Obama4. Deep-voiced “Simpsons” character5. “Looking for,” in the personals6. Nightmare7. Elroy’s dog8. What an old comedian chomps9. Author Loos10. Maurice’s singing twin11. Tree of Life location12. ___ precedent15. Inseparable18. Makers of the Mallo Cup22. Some mil. members27. “Buffy” spinoff29. Mag with quizzes31. Some

32. Combustible heap33. “Casablanca” character34. ___-do-well35. Olympic sport since 200036. Looney Tunes spinner38. Go smaller41. Think tank output44. Roles, in metaphor46. Old-school computer language49. Lake’s thaw52. Map-within-a-map54. “She ___ Coming” (Rolling Stones song)56. Part of AAA57. One-eyed “Futurama” character58. “Return of the Jedi” moon59. Sure thing60. Victorious shout61. Jane Velez-Mitchell’s network65. IV givers

Jonesin’ Crossword MATT JONES

Jonesin’ Crossword created By Matt Jones. © 2012 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 0602.

“it’s the End of the World!”—or maybe not.

new contemporary

servic

elooking for a

want to be inspired?seeking a deeper connection with

God?

want to celebrate life?

Hear the gospel of Jesus Christ in a fresh way, singing songs of praise and joy, receiving the real presence of the Risen Savior on Sundays from 9:30-10am at Trinity Lutheran

trinity lutheran church5001 Hixson Pike (and 153) n lutherantrinity.comtraditional services 8:30am & 11am welcoming the community to Christ’s love since 1960

worship

BREW

ER M

EDIA

IS HIR

ING Account ExecutiveAccount Executive (Chattanooga) Position Available at Brewer Media

Permanent Full-Time

Brewer Media wants YOU! We’re seeking talented Sales Account Executives to join our high-performing team in print and online media sales. You will be responsible for hunting out new leads, making fancy presentations, managing existing accounts and selling new business. The ideal candidate has been a successful sales person, loves Chat-tanooga, and excels in cultivating relationships with area businesses. Qualified candidates will possess: Excellent written and verbal com-mand of the English language; Organization of time with a laser-focus attention to detail, plus amazing follow through; audience- and needs- based selling approach (and knowing what that means); Outgoing and influential personality with a positive attitude (save your drama for your momma); Ability to generate your own business and to think creatively for clients. The position offers you product training, a base salary plus commission on all sales, bonuses, and the ability to get free passes to events! We also have a few radio stations you can represent as well. To be considered, please email a cover letter, resume, and salary history to :

Mike Baskin: [email protected] Subject: “Sales Job”

The Pulse Advantage: With the most comprehensive news, arts and entertain-ment coverage in Chattanooga, The Pulse has become the most reliable media resource for an extremely diverse readership. Each and every week, more than 30,000 active, educated, affluent and highly influential consumers make many of their purchasing decisions based on advertisements they see on the pages of The Pulse.

Brewer Media is an Equal Opportunity Employer.


In a recent Rolling Stone interview, the band mem-bers discussed the four gigs they’re playing this month—their first such appearances in six years. Although they all reported the band sounded great in rehearsals, there were a few cracks in the armor as to their attitudes going in. Mick Jagger made fun of 68-year-old Keith Rich-ards for complaining about the weight of his guitar on his shoulders. Seventy-one year old drummer Char-lie Watts now requires a full-time masseuse to rub down his back every 20 minutes or so. Ron Wood addressed the outrageous ticket prices with the lame excuse of, “We’ve already spent a million in rehears-als alone.” And Keith Rich-ards wasn’t so cordial with his response that basically equated to “if you don’t want to pay it someone else will.” Nice.

They might sound like grumpy old men and they should. This year mark’s the band’s 50th anniver-sary. Fifty years is a long time. I’m not even 50 years old yet. It’s so long, in fact, that no other band in the history of rock n’ roll has ever reached that mile-stone. Oh, they’ve had a couple of personnel chang-es over the years, but their most junior member, Ron Wood, has been with them for the last 37 years. That’s a mighty long time of gath-ering moss in the form of fans and money.

Although their music has been ingrained in my noggin via FM radio

since I was a little kid, I really didn’t “discover” the Stones until 1980, when a friend turned me on to the album Emotional Rescue. Since then I’ve acquired and cherished everything they’ve ever recorded. I’ve purchased more than 43 albums, first on vinyl and then again on CD. I’ve bought and read every biography—authorized and unauthorized—about both the band and its in-dividual members. I’m a walking encyclopedia of useless Stones facts, fig-ures and trivia. I’ve also seen them live five times since 1989. Only once did I receive free tickets. Oth-erwise, they never let me in for anything less than a C-note. And of course, I bought the T-shirt.

I would estimate that I have given Mick and the boys literally thousands of my disposable income dollars over the last 32 years. And I know other, even more rabid fans who have likely trumped that

amount by thousands more. Vinyl, CDs, MP3s, tickets, T-shirts, posters, books and other crap with the famous tongue logo don’t come cheap.

Maybe that’s why I’ve found it very hard to stomach their new atti-tude of not giving a shit. I can hear Mick now: “Oh, we’ll do two gigs in Lon-don and two in New York. The fans can come to us. They’re lucky that we’ve even agreed to roll out of bed this decade for per-formances at all, so they’ll pay dearly.” What about paying us back for keep-ing you popular for half a century?!

I’m sorry, but I feel like the Stones owe us for making them so wealthy that each member’s entire future family lineage will be rich beyond their wild-est dreams, even if they never even met great-great granddaddy Keith. And I think I’m not alone.

The Stones recently posted on Facebook that good seats were still avail-able for a show they were playing the very next night. I followed the link and sure enough, I could get tickets in the risers four rows off the floor—for $831 each, face value. I don’t know which part of the equation depressed me more—the price or the availability. I know it’s only rock ‘n’ roll, but I don’t have to like it.

Stones Cold CashThese are sad times for rabid fans, like me, of the Rolling Stones. No, they didn’t announce they were calling it quits. It’s just that they should. How can a rabid fan want his favorite band to hang up their guitars you might ask? It’s because they just don’t give a shit anymore, at least not about us fans.

Life in the Noog ChUCK CROWDER

Chuck Crowder is a lo-cal writer and man about town. His opinions are his own.

31 MPG 10 Year/10,000 Mile

Warranty

MagnesiumAlloy Paddle

Shifters

Automatic CVTTransmission

FUSE Hands-Free BluetoothSystem with USB Port

Keyless Entry System

7 Airbags 18” AluminumAlloy Wheels

Brake EnergyRegeneration

Hill StartAssist

ONLY$19,996*msrp $22,512

WESTLAKE FINANCIAL SERVICES

Great companies need great people

That’s why we created ChattanoogaJobPost.com.Thousands of Chattanooga businesses are seeking

quality, qualified employees, but they don’t trust free job sites and other options are too expensive.

At ChattanoogaJobPost.com, we offer a simple, clean interface to directly connect your business

with thousands of potential employees—without the high cost. Just $50 for 30 days to post your employment ad with no space

limitations. Search resumes and find the perfect fit.

Visit chattanoogajobpost.com or call 423.242.7671


29th Annual Holiday Gift Wrap

wrappedget

Hamilton Place • Dec. 7-24 • Open All Day During Mall Hours2 Locations • Tourist Information Center (upstairs) & JCPenney’s (downstairs)

From $3* *and up based on size, includes boxes, tissue, variety of papers, ribbons, bows and gift tags!

up!Bring your gift to the Holiday Gift Wrap! All proceedsbenefit

the pulse 9.51 » dec. 20-26, 2012

Documents

weekly issue

chattanoogas print cooperative

fine art of printing

fine print

thelost art of letterpress

rockin hair hair

misty fugatedecembershroom

facebook page