the iron warrior magazine: volume 2, issue 1

8/14/2019 The Iron Warrior Magazine: Volume 2, Issue 1

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or the Rest o UsKim arwellM torCYCling in Seattle. 1-90 across LWashington. 1-5 through the city, headuth. It s early on a Saturday morningclear. Mount Rainier shimmering white in the sshine. The flags are at half mast No, it s two weekslate for Kurt. Richard Nixon passed away the nibefore. But we ve heard enough about that. Isnfunny how people become perlect, symbolic and larthan life after they die? But I don t want to talk abNixon. His time is done. But 1do have somethinadd regarding Kurt Cobain - 1 know, too muchalready been said, but they haven t said it l l Kutime isn t done.

Everyone knows the gory details of his drug usehis death. Everyone knows that he left a wife and cand a suicide note. The apparent victim of a stardhe didn t want. I m not going to argue whetherdeserved all this hype, whether he had any talent ormotivation behind his untimely death. 1 wanremind you of a comment by one of the memberanother Seattle band Soundgarden. This musician sgested that Kurt was a symbol for the children of bken homes and disjointed childhoods. Kurt had a dcult background, but he got beyond it and made sothing of his life. I say no. fKurt had truly got beyontroubled past he d be alive today; a father to his lgirl, instead of leaving another child to be raisedsingle parent family.

t has been a while since we lost a major music idoa drug-related death. There was a period throughlate sixties and seventies where they were dropplike flies. Then there was a dry period. Maybe peobegan to realize they weren t invulnerable, I doknow. But it the runeties,and we just lost two famidols of our own generation. Kurt Cobain and RPhoenix. Is drug use on the rise? Is it just a coincideor is it the early warning signs of a lost generation?

Unlike the baby-boomers, we hayen t rebelagainst our society. We aren t into peace marches.aren t into communes. We seem to know the valuedollar. We know we have to get a job, but we dothat we ever will. Our values are more similar to thof our parents (and for some of us our grandparenPre-sixties. White picket fence and a nice car. Andmay be too much to ask for.

The values we have learned carne from a time wsuccess was at the expense of the environment. Stawas measured by material wealth. But most of usnot maintain the standard of living of our pareMost of us will not spend our entire career with company, or even in one line of work We ll hav

learn to redefine success. The baby-boomers arc ahe.:ld of us saturating the management level. They missed the early retirement packages of the recession that sent ourents into a new stage of life. And they won t be sixty-five for another twenty years. Yup, it s going to be awhile before we can climb the corporate ladder.

We stay in school because we can t find a job. And we get our high school diplomas. And we go to college/university, get a degree, and we can t find a job. We get a mters, a second bachelors, and we still can t find a job. Is it any wonder that the kids back in high school right now have no motivation? fwe are any example today, educadoesn t seem to prove anything. But remember what it was like to be a teenager. Live for today. Tomorrow doesn t matter. You are inunortal. Who cares if the recessioending and you ll need your schooling to compete with all the experienced folk out there looking for work. Live for today.Whetheryou Hunk Kurt Cobain was a genius, or just damn lucky, his lyrics did ho ld a certain adolescent anger and frustration. 1dont wonder that confused, abused, rused teens gravitated to his grunge. Even myself, with what I can confess to be a pretty f ortunate life, can relate to the lyrics of say, Lithium. Especially if I put myself backthe shoes of the fifteen-year-o ld misfit that I once was.

n s is a message to the crowds who mourned Kurt s death, went to his memorial, watched it on TV. This is for everyone who shed a tear for him; who carved his namtheir skin. Rememberhow hurt you feel by his loss. Kurt forgot there were people out there who loved him. Remember, if you decide to end it all, there is someone whofeel your loss just as deeply. fyou can learn anything from this, remember that.Is drug use on the rise among frustrated youth? f t is, do you bla me them? Statistics can be used to say anything, so I won t quote any. My gut feeling isn t very reassurthough. Heroin is becomin g high profile. When 1was in high school heroin was only for die hard druggies. Hold-overs from the seventies. Overgrown hippies and rejeHeroin meant trouble. It meant you had lost control. Today, heroin is getting a lot of air time on the news and the dramas. We hear about more people trying to kickhabit. Does this mean heroin use is on the rise? I don t know. But I do think that using heroin is beco,mng trendy l ike cocaine in the eighties. And 1do think that heroia synonym for death.

Here at the University of Waterloo, most of us are in a position to capitalize on the apathy of our generation. We ll have the training and the skills to surf on the front ofwave out of the recession. Use it to your advantage if you can. It isn t going to be easy.


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Project Magazine anyone? Wehave lots of them in the Orificeso come help yourself. Theymake great firewood substi-tutes just watch for those toxicfumes). They also m ke goodhouse pets.

In This Issue

The Iron Warrior MagazineVolume ssue

20 May, 1994

For the Rest of Us .. ..... .11 .. ,,.,,.2Hallucinogenics for all ....

UW Student Banned for Life .,. ., ... ,.,4Davis gets booked

It's the End of the World . ,,,,, ... ,,.,,.4Why? and More ...

Tales from Around the Campfire .......5How I learned to stop worrying and love the road .

Nice Bike, But Can You Race? .. .... ,,6Grit yer teeth

Indie Corner ....... , . . ,. .. . . .. ,Weeping Tile

Dear IW . , .. ,., .. , . ,. , .. , . , ....... , ..... . 9Everything Sucks

Spews .. I I I I 9 70Don't Choke

Editorials . .... ,. ....... ,. ., .. ... ,. I 7 7


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5/12

Tales from round the ampfireCat in the BoxEas early Saturday moming. Paul had set hisalann for five am, got up, made his lunch, packed all's fishing gear in his truck, and discovered itwouldn't start. It wasn't really a big deal, as Paul wasan engineer and a mechanic in his spare time. Therewas nothing he liked more than tinkering with hisancient but beloved truck, except maybe stream fishingin the mountains. However, it looked like the truck wasgetting first dibs on his time. He popped the hood andlooked inside at t he engine.* * *

Pat took her eyes off the road and glanced at the manbeside her. "Your cousin seemed like a perfectly niceperson," she insisted. "And it was a ver y nice wedding.Really. I'm glad you asked me to come with you, evenif t was in Medicine Hat."

Don chuckled. "Like it's such a long drive.""You're the one who insisted that we stay overnight."

Pat gave Don a qui ck look."And how would we have decided on a D.o., flip a

coin? I was just being realistic."Pat smiled. "But your mom's face when you told her

we were splitting a hotel room for the night... Really, Imean, this is the nineties."

"And Mom still lives in the fifties. I'll probably get introuble with Paul now, too." Don winked.

Pat rolled her eyes. "Hey, my brother owed you afavour and he gave you a date for the wedding. Whathappened after that was my call. His job was done theminute we pulled. out of own together."

"And your job is done the minute we get back intoCalgary?"1 didn't say that." Pat didn't look at him this time.* * *

Paul lovingly explored the engine of his truck. Thebelts seemed tight, the hoses secure. He made a fewminu te adjustments. The truck still wouldn't start. Nobig deal, he thought. His truck was old, senile. Sometimes it just wasn't in the mood. Even though heseemed to be able to fix every other car he looked at, histruck was a puzzle all its own. That's probably why Ikeep the stupid thing, Paul thought. It was about ten inthe morning by now. Paul went back inside andgrabbed a beer out of the fridge.

* * *"So, Pat, do you want to do something next weeksometime, or next weekend?" Don asked.

' ' [)o you have something in mind?"'Tll find something if you want to do something,"

Don replied.Suddenly the car backfired and stalled. "Goddamn

Based o a true story.piece of shit " Pat coasted the car onto th sh ulder."Yeah, I'll do someth ing \\1.th ou 11 t week, but firstI'm going to do somethi.ng to this Goddamn car " Pattried to start it several times unsuccessfull . '1'm goingto call Paul."" vVe are tranded in the middle of nowh reo \lVh reare you going to find a phone?" Don asked.

"Cellphon . Sorry to ruin your fantasies. I just hopehe didn't go fishing today."

* * *TIle phone rang. Paul grabbed it pilling his beer in

the process. "Shit... uh .. Hello?.. Hey, what' up? ..Where are you? .. No, I couldn't. The damn truckwouldn't start .. Yeah, I'll rescue you somehow .. Whatdo you mean so-


6/12

Nice Bike But Can YouRace

y Marc RisdaleA lchemy

N ineteen-runety-four is the year that signals theglorious return of the Off-Ring Road ClassicThis sort-of-perennial mounta in bike race isbeing held Saturday, June] 1. The custom designed racecourse runs through Breithaupt Park, Kitchener and isguaranteed fun. I, myself, had the privilege of riding itseveral times and let me tell you, it took days to wrenchthe tooth-shattering smile from my face.

As if that wasn t enough, all proceeds (that means100 % of the profit) from this year s race are goingstraight to the Food Bank of Waterloo Region. Whosays engineers aren 't socially conscious creatures? Whatbetter way could you think of spending a Saturdaymorning anyway?

There will be two categories, novice and competitive,for both men and women. The novice category is forthose among you who like riding mountain bikes butalways wondered what it would be like to pit yourselfagainst your peers to see how you size up . The competitive category is for the more aggressive riders and aspiring racers in the crowd.

The entry fee is a low, low $15 in advance (any timebefore midnight, June 10) and 20 the day of the race.Included in the fee is a really cool souvenir t-shirt. Prizesare lso available to the top finishers in each category.What a deal .

So, before I bid you adieu, Imu st remind you to enterearly and enter often. Regis-tration packages are availible in the Orifice, CPH1327, and local area bikeshops. Who knows,you could even findyourself racing bal'end to bar end withFed Prez (ex-Meathead), SteveCodrington esq. Thatis, of course, i hedoesn't chickenout

When you decideto enter or if you haveany questions, pleasefeel free to contact meat 725-9537 or [email protected] ever way you slice it, you re bound to have amind numbing good time

p.s. f you re not really into biking but you like towatch other people sweat, I still need volunteers to fillsuch roles as race marshal, time keeper and photographer. f any of theSe things interest you there's a signup sheet in the Orifice or you can reach me at the abovelocales.

NTR PR N URSLooking to set up your own business?Get a start with us and keep youroverhead costs low.Small Office Business Centre

can offer office space that is: Professional/Affordable Central Location Flexibility Short Term Lease Low Risk / Fixed Costs Clean Modern Buildings

CURIOUS?Contact Michael Graffi at884 1 080 ext. 227

EVELOPMENT CORPOR nON


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The Sandford Fleming Foundation4306 Carl Pollock Hall, University of WaterlooWaterloo, Ontario, N2L 3GWaterloo Campus Activities(519) 888-4008

The Sandford Fleming Foundation is proud to announce the 1994 recipient of the John Fisher Leadership Award:Wtg L 9 t f f r e ~ ecfianica[ n g i n e e r i n g

CongratulationsSome of Amy's contributions to UW Engineering include managing the C&D, and being Eng Soc Treasurer for several terms. Inaddition to undertaking Eng Soc responsibilities. she was involved with uWomen in Engineering" through mentoring first year femaleengineering students and the "Day with a Difference" programme which introduces Grade 8 girls to the field of science. In addition,she has been a tour guide for Campus Day activities. Amy's interest in helping others beyond the University community resulted inher winning the Beynon Memorial Research Assitantship for Humanitarianism in 1992 and the Canadian Posture and Seating CentreScholarship in 1993.The John Fisher Leadership Award is made from time to time to a graduating student whose activities throughout his/her academiccareer have made significant contributions to Co-operative Engineering Education. The Award at Convocation consists of a citationand an honorarium of $1.000.

TECHNICAL SPEAKER COMPETITIONDepartment Competitions will take place until May 28th. Departmental winners will participate in the Faculty Competitionon Friday, June rd in DC 1302. Each competitor will receive a prize of $100 and the winner will receive an additional$100. As an added bonus, participation in the Technical Speaker Competition could qualify you for the George DufsultMedsl at Convocation. ll students are invited to watch the competitions. Refreshments will be served at the facultycompetition. If you are interested in participating, please pick up an information package from Cheryl in the Orifice andnotify your department.

QQ

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An organization devoted to the advancement of engineering education.

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8/12

Indie Corner: Weeping Tileuntitled)

Colin Young

Somebody said to me the other daythat guitar bands are a dime adozen. Well? So what? So are piz-zas. I could stand in the parking lot nextdoor and hit at least three places that sellpizza with a well-aimed salami. Whatabout sex? Would you stop that too justbecause you've d one it before?

The point is, sometimes a guitar bandis just what you want to hear, and whocares if your music aitic friends sneer atyour prehistOric ideas of hipness. If themusic is good, it doesn t matter if it'sbeen done before. I would go on, but Ijust finished the May 12 edition of eyemagazine and discoved an article thatsaid essentially the same thing but inmany more words (although I do notconsider John Cougar or Rod Stewart to bethe epitome of good song-writing).

Weeping Tile is a Kingston-based bandwith one drum kit and three guitars. Thetouring band contains three new members since thecassette was recorded, leaving only singer/songwriterSarah Harmer from the original line up . The live sound(they opened for hHead, another boring guitar band, atPhil's a couple weeks back) is reminiscent of what theTragically Hip would sound like with a female singerand if they had s tayed in Canada to record theiralbums. The album sound brings Lowest f The l.nw tomind, and again, in the song titles ( Room with the SirJohn A View , Westray ), the Tragically Hip. They arenot, however, a Tragically Hip rip-off ban d.

A last from thePast

o you remem.ber this? (okay, ifyou didn t grow up in the greaterToronto area, you aren t expect-ed to.) Back before FM radiobecame the standard for listen-ing to good rock and roll. Just incase you wanted a little summernostalgia. Let s go back. Waaayback. Ten whole years. It isthe summer of

1984...

The songs demonstrate an ability to evoke strongimagery of everyday situations, and are nicely complemented by Sarah Harmer s simple, straightforwardvocal style (think early Leslie Spit Treeo).

The cassette is probably a little difficult to find, butshould be available in the larger Toronto stores (HMV,Sam s), and is well worth the effort of finding. Short offinding the cassette, go and see them next time theyplay locally. They' re real nice people who play realgood music.

WORDS o WI OOM i SWEaT t > R E ~ M PON'TLE.T TI\E co-op SUUS Blilosochumthe, rock of toronto .LW TW WEEK STARTING MAY 19, 1984 ISSUE 1405 WKS

1 1 You Might Think The Cars WEA 94 2 Oh Sherrie Steve Perry CBS 55 3 They Don't Know Tracey Ullman MCA 62 4 Hold Me Now Thompson Twins Polygram 106 5 Wouldn't It Be Good Nik Kershaw MCA 69 6 Time After Time Cyndi Lauper CBS 411 7 The Reflex Duran Duran Capitol 43 8 Love Somebody Rick Springfield RCA 87 9 Against All Odds (Take A Phil Collins WEA 12

Look At Me Now)14 1 Run Runaway Slade CBS 513 11 Black StationslWhite Stations M+M RCA 88 12 Footloose Kenny Loggins CBS 1015 13 Don't Answer Me The Alan Parsons Project Polygram 62 14 Breakdance Irene Cara WEA 423 15 Dance Hall Days Wang Chung WEA 318 16 Listen To The Radio Pukka Orchestra CBS 622 17 RelaJe Frankie Goes To Hollywood WEA 410 18 Miss Me Blind Culture Club Polygr?m 1021 19 Strike Eddie Schwartz WEA 524 20 I'll Wait Van Halen WEA 312 21 Holding Out For A Hero Bonnie Tyler CBS 726 22 You Can't Get What You Want Joe Jackson A M 328 23 Whisper To A Scream (Birds Fly) The Icicle Works Polygram 230 24 My Ever Changing Moods The Style Council Polygram 229 25 Original Sin INXS WEA 226 White Horse Laid Back WEA27 Lers Hear It For The Boy Deniece Williams CBS28 The Heart of Rock Roll Huey Lewis The News MCA29 I Want To Break Free Queen Capitol30 It's A Miracle Culture Club Polygram 1


9/12

JearW

EverythingSucksYou want letters to the editor, you got'em. Since I've v r s o f f e n ~ y

managed to meet the City of KitdlenerParks and Recreation Department,gather my copy of Not-The-Want-Ads(really ?), drop off my resume,work onmy researdl project and mai l no lessthan six fan letters to my most

favouritest prospective employers (at least thafs what I'm telling them) all in the rourseof the last two and a half hours, I felt mysteriously rompelled to disagree with a letter inthis issue of the Iron Warrior whidll haven1 even read yet. I feel the urge to spewsome sort of pithy Copelandesque simile but my brain put me on ho ld arouple ofhours ago and hasn't bothered picking up the line yet.)

The letter that caught my attention was the one regarding the freezing of transferpayments from the Federal govemment to Canadian Universities and Colleges. In it, Ibelieve the author has made some rather fallacious and downright deceptive remarksabout the state of engineering today.

Don 't even think for one second that Star Trek glamorizes the world of engineering .Come on , ust how stupid do you think I am? Like Geordi laForge is the paragon ofthe engineering ideal; I'm so sure. The only times we are made privy to his real life (thatwhich lies outside of work), he 's being dumped on his ass by another woman . Thiswould seem to suggest that being an engineer is akin to devoting your life to nothingother than being given practically impossible orders (there 's aone in a million chancethat this will work but here goes nothing , Shazam ) by a ruthless tyrant of a boss (makeit so, my butt ). It's like the ro-op job from hell.The life of a Starfleet engineer is a'life devoid of social interaction and fun. It's a ife ofendless, all-night diagnostics and warp-core modifications. Get real I didn 't go throughall this so that I rould one day dredge through the intergalactic equivalent of preventative maintenance and statistical process rontrol

Oh well, I've got to get back to dass. See ya next issue.One Disgruntled Alchemist

xternal SpewsClaire nderson

I would like to take this opportunity to welcome everyone back - I hope your workterm went well and that the beginning of term has been good. The word fortoday's spew is .conferences' (and lots of 'em).Starting with the past . Delegates from Waterloo B attended CCES 1994 in Calgaryat the beginning of January. A good time was had by all (as far as I know) and a decision that affects us here at Waterloo in a big way was made - more about that laterTI1e PEO-UES conference was held at the end of January here in K-W, hosted by EngSoc A (special thanks to Nancy Faessen and Lise Panchmatia for their excellent job inorganizing this awes ome event). This was a very educational weekend for myself andthe othe r Waterloo B delegates that attended. TI1e main goal of the conference was todiscuss the upcoming changes in the PEO accreditation process. Look for furtherdetails of these d1anges in an upcoming issue of the IW.

Now on to the present . The ESSCO Annual General Meeting (AGM) is fastapproaching. It is tentatively scheduled for June 17-19 in Ottawa. TIlis is an exceptional opportunity to meet people from other Engineering schools in Ontario and to fll1dout what ESSCO (Engineering Stud ent Societies Council of Ontario) does for you asan engineering undergrad in Ontario. Anyone interested in going should fill out aconference application form (located in the Orifice, on the wall by Betty's desk) andput it in my box in the Orifice or give it to Betty. f you would like more info abouttllis wondrous event, find me and I'll fill you in (the Orifice and the 4th year 01emEng study room are good places to look). Applications are due May 27 (that's nextFriday).

Fil1ally the future ..TI1e University of Waterloo l1as been chosen to host the 28thalUlUal CaI1adian Congress of Engineering Student s in January 1996 (CCES '%). TI1isdecision was made at CCES '94 in January and is a great honor. TI1is is the biggestalUlUal conference for Canadian engineering undergrads and will be quite an undertaking. Waterloo has hosted tllis conference twice before, the last time being 1982. EngSoc A has already put together their half of the organizing committee and we mustdo the same. An infonnation session and organizational meetings will be held soon,so watch your class boxes for details. We will need tons of volw1teers to have thisevent nm 'smoothly, so tell your friends, classmates, etc. Once agail1 if you would likeadditional iluon11ation, please feel free to speak to me at any time.

S or t of cas ?Always wanted to get inuoluedbut neuer had the time?

The Iron Warrior Magazine is piloting a new advertisingstrategy this term. We want to attract enthusiastic advertising staff by offering them commission on the ads they bringIn 10r us.What sort of commission are we talking about? Well, twoof our fromer advertising directors claim they would havemade between $800 and $1000 dollars on a 15% commission basis in a single term. Now that would sure help offsetthe partying budget

How does this work?You make contact with The Iron WarriorYou approach business and sell our ad spaceYou bring us the adWe print itWe pay you 15% of the before tax value of the ad

Interested but scared because you don't knowhow to sell an ad?e can tell you euerything you need to know

To apply:Drop your "resume" (name, class, phone number, email, andany other info) so we can contact you into the IW Editors boxin the Orifice.

o j o b is t o o sm a l l


10/12

PrezSpewsAlison PearseEgreat to be back J hope that everyone enjoyedtheir work terms as much as I did. Jwas working inississauga (that wasn t the enjoyable part ) forPetro-Canada and as luck would have it, I will beretwning. This is a good thing because it means that Inever have to go through Co-op interviews again (Iliked the job too)If anyone else has some concernsa now rdo) about

the current co-op system please let your SAC (StudentsAdvising Co-op) Rep hear about them. This terms SACrepresentative is Natalie Proctor and she can be reachedby leaving a note for her in the Orifice. Make sure thestudent voice gets heardThis summer term offers events tha t will interest anyand every taste. Come out to the Semi-Formal (AKAOperation Leather Storm) on July 8 where the beer willbe 4.55 a pitcher (this is or a typo, it does say fourdollars and fifty five cents ). On June 11, there will be amountain biking race known as the Off-Ring RoadClassic with all proceeds going to a local food bank. OnCanada Day we willbe running games for hundreds oflocal children at Columbia lake fields. If you have atalent (play an instrument, sing, magic, comedy, whatever ...) audition for Tal-Eng which will be held on July9 at the Bombshelter. If you just want to watch talent,

Peter RoschkeEndowment Director10 - and welcome back At the moment theWEEF principle is at just a little over 1.4 mil-on. That breaks down to about $70,CXXJ perengineering class. 1want to make sure that, within thelimits of the Endowment s constitution (a little disclaimer here - although I m sure you could have a hellof a party for 70K), every class has control over its share.This includes everything from how to spend theinterest this term to how you want information passed along to you.Now, every class has a WEEF rep [EdNote: and if you don t, get one], whose jobit is to make sure that you are wellinformed and to ensure that youhave a say over what s going tohappen with your money. This issomeone that YOU have elected torepresent your interests. All I cando is pass information on to them,so - if nformation below is news toyou - you might want to find outwhy.First of ali, WE WILL BE SPENDING $3O,CXXJ.OO THIS TERM. Basedon our fiscal projection, we expectto have around $60,000.00 to

spend between this and the Jan.'94 term. It was decided tospend part of this amount now

buy a ticket and enjoy Tal-Eng Fo r those interested insports there will be a Mud bowl, Beach Volleyballat FedHall (and the list goes on ). Also look out for roadtripsto the Stratford Festival, Canadas Wonderland and theBrunswick Hau s.

To keep track of the plethora of events offered,may 1suggest that you come into the Orifice (CPH 1327, justastone's throwaway from poms the C D, the IronWarrior Office and the WEEF Office) and pick up aBlotter. They are ready and free for all Engineering students. Thanks to Mario Bellabarba and Scott Chandlerfor doing all the work on them over the work term

While you are picking up your Blotter, stop and relaxin the Orifice for a minute. Take a look at the calendaron the wall for events and find something that interestsyou. Make it your goal to corne out to AT LE S[ oneevent offered to you EngSoc this term, you'll be a betterperson for it Remember, it s never too late to getinvolved.

A word about the WEEF, before taking ba ck your$75.00 (VSC) educate yourself about what the WEEFcan do for our school and has done for you so far. Thestudents who started putting money into the WEEF,didn t reap any of the benefits in the early days, but weare now spending tens of thousands of dollars a termon equipment for our labs because of the generosity ofthose people. You can make a difference

as no funding decision was made during the last termwhile we were away.

The proposal process this term is going to be verysimilar to the one used in previous terms. Any studentprofessor organization department etc. can sulrmit a proposal for consideration. However , this term I

will encourage the funding council (a.k.a. the WEEFreps) to give extra consideration to projects that have alot of support from the student body. Some departments organizations already have a head start on this

as they have been actively approaching students forinput on previous funding decisions. More

information on how to submit supportvote on a proposal will be available

through yourWEEF rep in a few weeks.Finally, there are several projects

which the WEEF is currently involvedin. Any engineering student who has.nterest is welcome to get involved withany (or all) of these. This can take up aslittle or as much time as you want (any

thing from helping out the odd time tobeing in charge of the project). These

include: the Employer Matching Cam-paign, organization of this term s funding

process, publicity, new investment options forthe principle balance, or anything you want todo.

H you have any questions orthoughts pleasemailme at endowment@l08.

nternaSpew(don't choke )

Dave Thompson

BLAT Welcome back, those of you who mthru another term. I hope you had a wonwork term and are looking forward to a

intense summer. It's going to be HUGE. If you halready noticed the plethora of posters up in CPHand outside the Orifice (CPH 1327) announcing way in advance, look for them.

We're going to really try to push all the eventseveryone know what's coming up. The Enginewwill be publishing upcoming stuff. There's a cafor the whole term in the Orifice. And there's gobe a HUGE calendar in the CPH foyer, on theBoard next to the IW office. We ve got somedirectors with some pretty wild ideas and eplanned , so, hopefully, if you know what's all ofgoing on, you'll go.Off Ring Road Classic. What is it? A mountarace with both novice and competitive for wommen. When is it? June 11th, Saturday. Just $15and you get a nifty shirt free tooOperation Leather Storm. Leather, EgyptianCheap Beer ( 4.55 a pitcher ). Be there for thlow price of $22.99.

There's much, much more, so chech the HUGendar or in the Orifice. if you've got any question(What colour should I paint my dog? Howshould 1pay for a used 1982 Volkswagen Rabbitstop in and ask. Drop by the Orifice and talk to oident Orifice goddess, Betty, or hunt down oneExec. Were slow moving and easily baited bTrust me ...

Have a great summer, and remember, four ware two too many.


11/12

Plea for a Better-LookingMargarineEll began when I hopped on the plane to Calgaryback in the trailing days of 1993. Uneventful. Your'c Air Canada flight We took off. They serveddrinks. They served something barely recognizable forlunch. I was hungry. I ate it anyway. The salad too.Then I started on the roll Air Canada has gone healthconscious on us and serves low cholesterol saturatedfat margarine. I peeled back the lid on the containerand stared in wonder. It looked like butter. It wasn tthat icky sunflower-yellow colour or that pasty lardwhite. It was a pale, creamy, and actually looked edible.So why do margarine manufacturers in Ontario,Quebec and numerous other locales dye their productfunny colours? It's not because margarine manufacturers are clumsy with yellow dye, or that they don t knowwhat butter looks like. It actually has something to dowith the dairy producers being concerned about somesort of competition in bread spreads. I don t know allthe details, but it the long and short of it is that if it ain'tbutter, it had better not look like butter.

Now, I could understand this hype if it was difficultto tell butte r and margarine apart. Maybe dairy manufacturers have no taste buds, and no sense of texture toboot - heck, they probab ly can't eve n tell the differencebetween Pepsi and Coke. But does anyon e really wantto eat margarine? I guess there are a few weirdoes out

there who actually prefer the taste of margarine, but weall know that most of us suffer with it because webelieve it is better for our health. and it isn't too tenible asaaifice. Not like giving up a trip to Harvey s with aveggie burger instead.So if hey have to dye margarine, why do they dye ityellow? Why do they leave it white? Because theywant it to look somewhat appetizing? I m sorry, butwhite margarine makes me think of lard- not appetizing. Bright yellow margari ne looks like nuclear waste- ditto. The white stuff is probably to cut dyeing costs,with the aside of appealing the those who look for theleast additives in their food. And the yellow? WelL itsort of looks like freaked-out butter. Why don t theydye margarine purple? The dye is safe and Barney fansand Engineering Frosh everywhere would Jove it.

Air Canada served butter-coloured margarine forlunch. But we were safely west of Ontario by then.. Ifthey'd served lunch early, would they have had to gothrough and change all the margarine on the little lunchtrays so not to offend our dairy producers? What aboutthe citizens of Ontario and other margarinally-challenged communities? They can't hide it from us forever. Every Ontarian on that flight knows that they reallycan make margarine that looks appetizing. Face it,dairy folk. We are going to eat margarine regardless ofwhat it looks like, so stop being silly.

o ummit Dam'mitO U have a bitch? So methi ng that you feelto be shared with the world? Or are youjust sick of the same old letters about the sameold topics by the same old people in the same old student newsp aper? Look, just because you ve never seena letter to the editor in the Iron Warrior doesn t meanwedon tprintthem. Wejustdon trc iveany.

We want some letters to the editor. IntcnSting on S,about a new topic. So here's my contribution:

The Prime Minister has stated several tim s thatCanada can only become more competitive in the global market by developing our high-tech industries. Atthe same time, the government is freezing transfer pa yments to universities and tuition fees are rising. All ofwhich is hardly an incentive to get a Ph.D.

In a seemingly unrelated area, Canada is producingfar more doctors and lawyers than it needs. TheOntario government is now ordering new doctors tobegin work in only government-approved areas, andCanada s number of lawyers per capita greatly exceedsthat of any European or Asian country (and that doesn tmake em any cheaper, either). Yet huge numbers ofstudents aspire to be doctors or lawyers. Personally, Iascribe this to unrealistic television shows like LA Lawand EN.G. Tens of thousands of teenagers get theirminds baked and their viewpoints warped by thoseshows and the tale of the bottom line' - the vulgarmoney these professiOnals haul in for their work Theonly show that glamourizes engineering is Star Trek(and everyone knows that's not real').This then, is my suggestion: the government should

make two types of transfer payments to universities one to the university directly, to cover the overheadcosts, and then another to eacl1 indiv idual faculty, to be used only by that faculty. Further more, the sizeof the payments should be determined by the needCanada has for the professionals produced by that facult . If IIl,1ti,\ \ \ I , , ( n ~ i l 1 l e r s l l \ o n . l h . I 1 I , 1 \ V Y l r s ( l U Ieducation . holiid 1 :->uh-idVt.'ti morl' b 1111 ~ O v t I 1ment, right. And if th(' Rtlurltiol\ :,ilollid l w r LXrcVCl S


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the iron warrior magazine: volume 2, issue 1

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