the 4 kinds of girls and which ones you should go for

8/15/2019 The 4 Kinds of Girls and Which Ones YOU Should Go For

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The 4 Kinds of Girls and Which Ones YOU

Should Go For

by Chase Amante

January 2013

One of the series I introduced on here a while back - only to ever do two real articles in it - was

on irl ty!es""" some of the different kinds of girls# that is" $e%ve had some re&uests to do more

articles like these# and I wanted to !ut toether one here that%s a !rimer of the four basic varieties

of women you%ll run into - and which

type is best for you"

$hat%s the use of somethin like this'

$on%t you maically ha!!en into a

relationshi! with the woman of your

dreams# if you%re out there lon enouh

meetin lare enouh &uantities of

women'

(ersonally# I%m more a believer in

havin a set of loical uidelines# and

then runnin your emotions on to! of

that# rather than )ust lettin emotions

run wild and ho!in for the best"

*avin rules for selectin the riht

irlfriends +see, Find the Right Girl. Choosing the Right Qualities in a Woman/ tends to

lead you to su!erior women as mates" motion is what first draws you to them# but loic hel!s

you screen them +and screen out the other women you%re emotionally drawn to who don%t matchyour criteria/"

(ut more sim!ly# es!ecially when it comes to weird# e!hemeral to!ics like datin and mate

selection that are taboo to discuss anywhere in !olite society# knowing stuff gives you

advantages"

And the stuff I want to et you knowin today consists of the four basic varieties of women"

http://www.girlschase.com/users/chase-amantehttp://www.girlschase.com/content/find-right-girl-what-look-potential-girlfriendhttp://www.girlschase.com/content/choosing-right-qualities-womanhttp://www.girlschase.com/content/find-right-girl-what-look-potential-girlfriendhttp://www.girlschase.com/content/choosing-right-qualities-womanhttp://www.girlschase.com/users/chase-amante


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Of course# there are a variety of different irl ty!es we can branch out into as we et more

com!le in our definitions and look at more nuanced variations of the different varieties of

women. we%ve covered two of these ty!es on here already,

• Club Queens# and

• Shy Ecited Girls

or our !ur!oses today thouh# we%re oin to be lookin at a more elemental kind of woman -

the kind from which all other kinds s!rin out of"

hese are our four most basic ty!es of women"

I%ve boiled them down to )ust two traits# one learned# and one not,

1" 4oftness54trenth

2" Ine!erienced5!erienced

On a matri# that works out like this,

http://www.girlschase.com/content/girl-types-club-queenshttp://www.girlschase.com/content/girl-types-shy-excited-girlshttp://www.girlschase.com/content/girl-types-club-queenshttp://www.girlschase.com/content/girl-types-shy-excited-girls


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I%ll define both aes of that matri here"

Softness/Strength

4oftness5strenth is what side of the s!ectrum a irl naturally fall u!on with her base !ersonality

ty!e" Is she soft# &uiet# and nice' Or stron# loud# and assertive'

his# of course# is not an either-or ty!e of thin" 6o real absolutes in the real world" 7ut#

rouhly# line-drawin-wise# you can more or less cut the kinds of women down the middle and

throw them into two cam!s,

• he soft ones


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• he stron ones

And that isn%t to say that a woman can%t be soft in dis!osition# but stron in constitution" 6or is to

say an assertive woman is inca!able of tem!erin herself and assumin a more ladylike

demeanor"

or our !ur!oses# we%re definin softness and strenth here as these,

• Soft Women! these are the women who tend to be more !assive# more yieldin# who

are more acce!tin of bein led by others +men or women/# more o!en to bein commanded#

more likely to be humble# &uiet# and retreatin# and less likely to cause drama# cause a stir# or et

offended at most thins" If there%s a !roblem in the relationshi!# soft women are more likely to sit

on it and trust or ho!e that you notice it and resolve it"

•

Strong Women! these are the women who tend to be more aressive# more steadfast#who are more likely to rebel aainst the leadershi! of others +men or women/# more likely to

resist commands# more likely to be confident# loud# and assertive# and more likely to cause

drama# cause a stir# and et offended by thins" If there%s a !roblem in the relationshi!# stron

women are more likely to &uickly brin it to the forefront and ask you to address it"

8ost cultures the world over encourae their women to be soft kinds of irls" In the more

feminist-leanin cultures +e""# 4candinavia# the nlish-s!eakin world# etc"/# this tends to be

reversed# and the encouraement is for women to be stron" I tend to believe this is more in-born

than anythin else# althouh sociali9ation and acculturation can lend an ede or take one off"

8y !ersonal !reference is for stron women" I run sli!shod over soft women# and they et hurt

too easily around me" I%m a !retty em!athetic uy# but I also et cauht u! in whatever I%m

devotin my time to# and bein considerate at all times is not a stron suit for me"

Amon most of the men I talk to# the preference seems to be soft women" ven a lot of the men

I know who are very ood with women still !refer soft women" I%ll e!lore why this is a little

later in this article"

Inexperienced/Experienced

Aain# like softness5strenth# ine!erienced5e!erienced is not black and white" A irl who%s very

e!erienced to one man comes across like a na:ve amateur to another" " lot of that is based on

the man#s eperience$ the more eperienced a man is with women% the more women will

begin to seem relatively ineperienced to him% and the less eperienced he is% the more they

will appear&

*ere# our two cam!s are,


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• he ine!erienced ones# and

• he e!erienced ones

or our !ur!oses# we%re definin these two traits thusly,

• 'neperienced Women! ine!erienced women are less seasoned in the ways of

romance# datin# se# and men" hey believe more in love# have fewer walls u! aainst others and

are more easily influenced and led# are more trustin# have less emotional baae from neative

!revious encounters# and are less certain of eactly what they want and don%t want"

• Eperienced Women! e!erienced women are more seasoned in the ways of

romance# datin# se# and men" hey believe less in love# have more walls u! aainst others and

are more difficult to influence and lead# are more ske!tical of others% intentions# have more

emotional baae from neative !revious encounters# and are more certain of eactly what theywant and don%t want"

here%s a bit of a cultural double-standard when it comes to e!erience levels in women" Cultures

both normally dislike the facts of an e!erienced women +i"e"# she%s dated around a lot# sle!t

around a lot# and known many men/# but love the !resentation of an e!erienced woman +i"e"#

she%s charmin# svelte# confident# com!osed# measured# worldly# cosmo!olitan# talented with

!eo!le# etc"/" (ou#ll fre)uently see cultures discouraging women from becoming eperienced%

but lauding those women who are&&& so lon as it isn%t e!licitly communicated that those

women are# that is"

As discussed in the article on rouhly identifyin how many partners a woman has had# there

are some very real reasons why cultures dissuade women from becomin e!erienced +i"e"# with

each new seual !artner# a woman%s infidelity risk increases ;


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If you%re like most men readin this !ost# you%re already sittin there sayin# I want one of

theinexperienced irls= and there%s a !retty ood chance what you%re sayin is# I want

the soft ine!erienced irl=

$ell# wait )ust a second there"

>ou miht think you know what kinds of irls you want""" but do you'

he research says no" *ave a look - from a !a!er entitled ?o advertised !references !redict

the behavior of s!eed daters' by @obert ur9ban of the Bniversity of (ennsylvania%s ?e!artment

of (sycholoy# and Jason $eeden of Ari9ona 4tate Bniversity%s ?e!artment of (sycholoy,

“ Because researchers are making increasing use of data gleaned from Internet datingsites, it is important to know if the preferences people specify in Internet

advertisements predict the choices that they actually make. HurryDate, a commercialspeed-dating firm, collected data from over 1, people in their !s, "s, and #s

who participated in speed-dating events in cities across the $nited %tates. &he present

analysis compared these speed daters' advertised preferences with their decisions to

attend particular events and their choices of potential partners at the events they

attended. (indings indicated that speed daters' advertisements reflect fre)uently

replicated se* differences and assortative patterns and that these advertised mate

preferences predicted their decisions to attend particular events. Advertised

preferences did not, in contrast, substantially predict decisions within

events. &hese results support the conclusion that advertised preferences predict

+ehavior in the mating domain in some conte*ts +ut not others.

hat is to say# if you say you really like charismatic blondes# you%d be more likely to attend

4candinavian 4!eed ?atin 6iht than you would Ja!anese 4!eed ?atin 6iht or $est African

4!eed ?atin 6iht# but once you ot there you miht hit it off with a demure brunette a lot more

than you did any of the charismatic blondes !resent"

The choices people actually make often have little correlation with the preferences they claim

to have.

http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1475-6811.2007.00175.x/abstract;jsessionid=38FE4F6447DB2397F031AF3D58B4CFF1.d01t03?deniedAccessCustomisedMessage=&userIsAuthenticated=falsehttp://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1475-6811.2007.00175.x/abstract;jsessionid=38FE4F6447DB2397F031AF3D58B4CFF1.d01t03?deniedAccessCustomisedMessage=&userIsAuthenticated=falsehttp://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1475-6811.2007.00175.x/abstract;jsessionid=38FE4F6447DB2397F031AF3D58B4CFF1.d01t03?deniedAccessCustomisedMessage=&userIsAuthenticated=falsehttp://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1475-6811.2007.00175.x/abstract;jsessionid=38FE4F6447DB2397F031AF3D58B4CFF1.d01t03?deniedAccessCustomisedMessage=&userIsAuthenticated=false


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herefore# most of the time when !eo!le tell me they know eactly what they want# I call

tomfoolery on their loical brain%s !art"

hat%s what your loical brain thinks" 7ut when it comes to love at first sight# matin# !air

bondin# and seual ecitement# your loical brain doesn%t have a whole lot of say" hat%syour emotional brain%s domain there - and let%s look at how that !icks mates"

What's the Research Have to Say?

4oftness5strenth and ine!erienced5e!erienced are two se!arate dimensions on attractiveness#

and this is where thins start ettin ha9y and anecdotal# so let%s see how science weihs in"

*ere%s what science has to say on e!erience"

rom ffects of (remarital 4eual 4tandards and 7ehavior on ?atin and 8arriae

?esirability,

“ &his paper concerns the effects of se*ual attitudes, lifetime se*ual +ehavior, num+er of coital partners, and the social conte*t of this +ehavior on dating and marriage

desira+ility. Both male and female respondents were shown to prefer

moderately experienced partners, regardless of respondent's own

experience level. $nlike previous research no interactions +etween respondents

+ehavior and rated persons +ehavior were found. o evidence for the e*istence of the

traditional dou+le standard was found among these young, single university students/

men and women, e)ually, held a standard that allowed ma*imi0ation of personal

se*ual gratification +ut limited that availa+le to potential partners.

In other words# accordin to this research conducted on university students in 1DE# the

preference is for moderately eperienced partners" hat is to say# not virins# and not se !ros#

either""" reardless of where an individual%s own e!erience levels lie +e""# virins want

moderately e!erienced !artners# and se e!erts want moderately e!erienced !artners/"

7ut remember""" this is a survey% based on individual#s logical preferences% not their

emotional+instinctive ones" And as that research )ust above showed us# what !eo!le saythey

want# and what they actually want# are two very different thins"

http://www.girlschase.com/content/love-first-sighthttp://www.jstor.org/discover/10.2307/352351?uid=2&uid=4&sid=21101574606833http://www.jstor.org/discover/10.2307/352351?uid=2&uid=4&sid=21101574606833http://www.jstor.org/discover/10.2307/352351?uid=2&uid=4&sid=21101574606833http://www.girlschase.com/content/love-first-sighthttp://www.jstor.org/discover/10.2307/352351?uid=2&uid=4&sid=21101574606833http://www.jstor.org/discover/10.2307/352351?uid=2&uid=4&sid=21101574606833


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Another !a!er# this one from five years earlier in 1D0 and named ffects of 4eual !erienceon ?atin ?esirability and 8arriae ?esirability, An !erimental 4tudy# had this to say,

“ n e*perimental investigation of the effects of the level of se*ual e*perience of menand women college students on their evaluations of opposite-se* peers varying in

se*ual e*perience was performed. Inexperienced men, and both inexperienced

and moderately experienced women, rated highly experienced opposite-

sex peers as less desirable dates and marriage partners than inexperienced

and moderately experienced persons. Moderately and highly experienced

men and highly experienced women tended to rate all opposite-sex peerssimilarly along these same dimensions. &he findings were discussed in terms of

the ac)uisition and social meanings of interpersonal se*ual information and the

methodological differences +etween the present study and earlier survey

investigations.

4o here we have a study that found that ine!erienced men# ine!erienced women# and

moderately e!erienced women found hihly e!erienced !artners less desirable than

ine!erienced or moderately e!erienced !artners# while moderately e!erienced men# hihly

e!erienced men# and hihly e!erienced women rated all !artners as e&ually desirable"

http://www.jstor.org/discover/10.2307/351235?uid=2&uid=4&sid=21101574606833http://www.jstor.org/discover/10.2307/351235?uid=2&uid=4&sid=21101574606833http://www.jstor.org/discover/10.2307/351235?uid=2&uid=4&sid=21101574606833http://www.jstor.org/discover/10.2307/351235?uid=2&uid=4&sid=21101574606833


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?ifferent survey" ,ifferent results&

7ased on what research I%ve been able to locate# ' think it#s relatively safe to say that science

hasn#t yet taken much of a look on what people actually are drawn to +as o!!osed to what

they think they%re drawn to/# at least in this arena"

So% '#m going to rely instead on my eperience in the field! my !ersonal e!erience# what I%ve

seen amon countless friends# customers# and clients in this niche# and what I%ve seen amon the

countless cou!les of all kinds I%ve met over a number of years of very active sociali9in and

meetin new !eo!le"

*ere%s how I think this actually breaks down# when loical rules are set aside and we look at

!eo!le%s real !references"

Kinds of Girls Men Want, By Kinds of Men They Are

$hen I !osted the how many !artners article# some commenters said# his a!!lies to men

too= $hich I com!letely aree with"

And it%s eactly the same here - that grid of softness+strength and ineperienced+eperienced

applies every bit to men as it does to women"

Just like women# there are soft men and stron men" And )ust like women# there are

ine!erienced men and e!erienced ones"

And from what I have seen over ;F years of e!erience in this domain# I%d tell you it works like

this,

• >ou can move in either direction !arallel to your s&uare and be ha!!y

• If you date in your s&uare# you%ll be unha!!y

• If you date diaonally o!!osite your s&uare# you%re headed for some bi fihts

*ow%s this work' irst# let%s fiure out how you rank on each of these"

?o you,

• Actively take the lead'

• Gike to be the center of attention'

• (refer the starrin role to the su!!ort role'

• Get !eo!le know it when you%re annoyed'

• Het accused of bein cocky or overly confident sometimes'

• end to never back down when you find yourself in an arument'


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If you mostly said yes# you fall more on the stron side of thins" If you mostly said no#

you%re on the softer side +but you don%t have to tell anybody else. and heck# you%re readin my

article# not me readin yours# so you know I'll never know=/"

On e!erience# do you,

• Consider yourself an e!ert on datin# se# and relationshi!s'

• 6ot really believe all that much in love or romance'

• ind it easy to resist and brush off !ushy !eo!le'

• Consider yourself ske!tical and cynical +as o!!osed to trustin and acce!tin/'

• *ave some sus!icion or other issues leftover from earlier relationshi!s'

• now eactly what you want and eactly what you don%t'

If you mostly said yes# that%s me# you%re closer to e!erienced than the alternative" If you went

down the list oin# not really# no"""# then you%re closer to ine!erienced"

-ote! this one%s a little tricky# because you will sometimes meet !eo!le actin or even thinkin

they are somethin they%re not here" e""# the uy who%s a virin who acts cynical and bitter and

says# Gove is one bi lie= and thinks he knows it all about datin and se and relationshi!s

because he%s well-read on the to!ic" he instant that uy ends u! with a irl for real thouh# he

turns into a kitten# usually"

On the other hand# you have the really emotional uys who flit from lover to lover# and have tons

of e!erience with datin and se but will tell you# I don%t think anyone can ever truly

understand a woman= with a hint of romance and !assion# believe wholeheartedly in true love

+althouh they never seem to find it# or it never lasts for lon when they do/# are the very o!!osite

of ske!tical and cynical# and are larely sus!icion-free"

If one of those sounds like you# !ut yourself into the ine!erienced or e!erienced cam! based on

your actual !hysical e!erience with women anyway# even thouh you miht think you fit the

characteristics of a different &uadrant" .he kinds of women you#ll respond to will still be the

same&

*ave a look here at how our !ersonality ty!es interact,


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@emember#

• >ou can move in either direction !arallel to your s&uare and be ha!!y

• If you date in your s&uare# you%ll be unha!!y

• If you date diaonally o!!osite your s&uare# you%re headed for some bi fihts

he sim!lest way to think of this is in terms of leadershi!" hose work out as such,

1" 4oft5ine!erienced has the least leadershi! ability

2" 4tron5e!erienced has the reatest leadershi! ability

3" 4tron5ine!erienced and soft5e!erienced are both somewhere in the middle

*and-in-hand with leadershi! tendencies o dominance# assertiveness# self-confidence# and more"


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Good Pairings

o save myself from writin out needlessly lon descri!tions and to save you from readin them#I%ll abbreviate these as follows,

• , 4oft

• @, 4tron

• I6, Ine!erienced

• , !erienced

*ere are the ood !airins and how they work out"

1" F.+'- with .R+'-& 7oth !artners in this dynamic are )ust beinnin to ac&uaintthemselves with the world of datin and se and relationshi!s" he more tentative 5I6 is ha!!y

to be !aired u! with the bolder @5I6# who is doin the trailbla9in and e!lorin for the both of

them# while the @5I6 a!!reciates havin the su!!ort and encouraement of the 5I6 there

learnin riht alon with him5her and u! for whatever the adventure at hand may be" he

dynamic here is !artner-in-crime F e!loratory !artner"

2" F.+'- with F.+E/& In this setu!# the 5I6 takes the 5 as a sort of uide and

!artner" 7oth !artners here make each other feel more secure. the 5 is lad to have found an

5I6# whom e!erience tells him5her is likely to stay su!!ortive and loyal so lon as he5she is

treated well# and the 5I6 is ha!!y to have found an 5 who is entle with his5her emotions

des!ite the e!erience a!# and uses that advantae in e!erience to antici!ate the 5I6%s needs

and make the kinds of romantic# thouhtful estures the 5I6 loves" he dynamic here is

lovin !artner F carin !artner"

3" .R+E/ with F.+E/& *ere# the stroner !artner natural leads the softer !artner# but

because both are e!erienced the a! isn%t too reat" he 5 is e!erienced enouh to not let

his5her emotions run wild when encounterin the !owerful @5# and astute enouh to !lay coy

and kee! the @5 interested" he dynamic here is !owerful !artner F coy !artner"

" .R+E/ with .R+'-& A different dynamic with two stron !ersonalities# the @5I6 looks

u!on the @5 as a teacher# mentor# and uide# in addition to a romantic !artner" he @5

tends to be what the @5I6 wishes to be# and the @5 en)oys havin a !artner in crime who

looks u! to him5her with admirin eyes" he dynamic here is mentor !artner F student !artner"

If you want to be ha!!iest in your relationshi!s# make sure you fiure out which of these four

&uadrants you fall in# and date women who fall into one of the two ad)acent &uadrants"

6ow let%s have a look at the other !ossible !airins"


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Bad Pairings

here are also some really bad !airins amon these four &uadrants# and you want to make sure

you don%t et stuck in any of them"

E" F.+'- with .R+E/& he dominance a! is too wide here# and the @5 eats u! and

s!its out the 5I6 for breakfast without even meanin to" If you%re the 5I6 in this dynamic# be

!re!ared to have your heart crushed and torn to !ieces totally by accident" If you%re the @5# be

!re!ared for way more hurt feelins comin out of the 5I6 than you know what to do with# and

clininess and neediness like you wouldn%t believe"

K" .R+'- with F.+E/& @ather than hurt feelins# irritation is the name of the ame here"

he 5 considers himself5herself more e!erienced and thus by default the more natural

leader of the two# and very much is irritated by the misuided fits and starts and im!ulsive

behavior of the @5I6" 8eanwhile# the @5I6 &uickly ends u! annoyed at the 5%s

conservative !arentin style toward the relationshi! when the @5I6 really )ust wants to run

free and thinks the 5 should !robably be more like him5her" 7e !re!ared for constant !ower

strules and lots of frustration comin out of either &uadrant"

;" F.+'- with F.+'-& his !airin of like and like leads to a whole lot of nothin# with

each !artner tentative# hesitant# and unsure" It%s an unlikely !airin to occur# because both !artners

are normally too timid to initiate datin and relationshi!s" *owever# if !roimity ha!!ens to !ut

two 5I6s in close contact and the two do somehow end u! datin# be !re!ared for a

relationshi! filled with fo# confusion# and inaction"

D" .R+'- with .R+'-& wo restless souls# a !air of @5I6s may have a brief and !assionate

flin# but they%ll soon find themselves tuin one another in o!!osite directions as each rushes

off to follow his or her own !ath of e!loration and adventure" he loner these two try to stay

toether# the more strained thins tend to become# and they usually don%t last toether lon

because of it"

" F.+E/ with F.+E/& his is another unusual mi# sim!ly because 5es tend not to be

very attracted to one another" If two do end u! toether# they can be content# but there%s a feelin

of somethin missin in the relationshi! that neither !artner can &uite !ut a finer on" $hat%s

missin is a clear leader# and one !artner that%s very dominant over the other" or this relationshi!

to survive# one of the !artners must transition to @ characteristics# or the two will eventually

drift a!art# with reasons like# It )ust didn%t work out# or# hat maic somethin sim!ly wasn%t

there"

10" .R+E/ with .R+E/& $hat%s more fearsome than a !air of -rees battlin it out' A

cou!lin of @5es is a !owder ke waitin to e!lode# two very dominant individuals used to

controllin their s!heres and everyone and everythin in them# now suddenly toether without a

clear leader" hese relationshi!s# when they ha!!en# tend to be brief and !assionate flins#


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followed by e&ually ferocious !artins" $ith neither !artner willin to sub)uate his or her will to

the other# they never last lon"

If you end u! in one of these relationshi!s +or you%ve reali9ed you%re in one already/# you don%t

necessarily have to start lookin for the eit door immediately# but you miht want to !lan forwhat ha!!ens after the relationshi! has run its course"

How Do You Use This in Real Life?

>ou can use these &uadrants to be more aware of the kinds of irls who a!!eal to you most# and

more &uickly screen out the women you%re incom!atible with"

If you are,

• An 5I6# the enthusiasm and adventurousness of a @5I6 will enamor you# and the

careful attentiveness and romancin of an 5 will allure you# but stay away from the @5#

who will make you wish you never started datin and turn you into a bitter man# and avoid

fallin for another 5I6# as you%ll find it more disa!!ointin than anythin else"

• A @5I6# havin an 5I6 sidekick is oin to be a blast# and learnin from a @5

mentor who%s already been there and done that is oin to be tremendously rewardin" 7ut stay

away from datin another @5I6# who%s oin to drive you insane with the same kinds ofdemands on you you%re accustomed to makin of others# and an 5# who%s neither oin to

take the lead with you nor serve as a willin follower# and will drive you batty"

• An 5# you%ll deliht in havin an 5I6 to nurture and take care of# and datin a

@5 can be ecitin and rewardin" 7ut you%ll find datin another 5 to be rather deflatin

an e!erience# and the rambunctious but rouh-eded @5I6 is only oin to bother you"

• A @5# an 5 will intriue you with her wiles and charms# and a @5I6 will thrill

you with her boundless enery and 9est# but !re!are for e!losive times if you start seein

another @5# and et ready to be naed and sweetnessed-to-death by the cliny# innocent#

and needy 5I6 if you end u! datin her"

http://www.girlschase.com/content/most-important-thing-becoming-lover-women-dont-be-bitterhttp://www.girlschase.com/content/most-important-thing-becoming-lover-women-dont-be-bitterhttp://www.girlschase.com/content/most-important-thing-becoming-lover-women-dont-be-bitterhttp://www.girlschase.com/content/most-important-thing-becoming-lover-women-dont-be-bitter


15/15

And that%s it" All you really have to remember are two sim!le ty!es, the two you get on bestwith"

hen et out there# kee! those two kinds of irls in mind# and et yourself lookin for them in the

real world# in the flesh"

And# if you%ve read this far# dro! me a brief line in the comments which ty!e of irl you like the

best# and what it is about her you adore"

>ours#

Chase

the 4 kinds of girls and which ones you should go for

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