PATHFINDER GLOBAL SCHOOL, PATAUDI

By: Mr. Divyashu Sharma School Counsellor

pgscounsellor@gmail.com

Workshop on:TEMPER TANTRUMS

V/SSHYNESS / DEPENDENCY

Workshop at a Glance Introduction Temper Tantrums Causes of Temper Tantrums Handling Temper Tantrums Shyness/ Dependency Causes of Shyness/ Dependency Handling Shyness/ Dependency Parents talk Do say and Don’t say Tips to handle

Introduction Personality is a dynamic organisation of any

individual. Consist of lot of aspects, overall constitutes a

behaviour. Behaviour is sum of beliefs, attitude, values

etc. Behaviour characteristics start developing

from child hood. Parents face lots of problem while dealing

with their child. Here discussing two opposite attitudes:

Temper Tantrums v/s Shyness/ Dependency.

TEMPER TANTRUMS Angry outbursts…. Rolling on

the ground, screaming, kicking, throwing objects, hitting.

Common in children between 18 months to 3 years or may prolong.

CAUSES Child is denied what he demands. Poor role models. Gaining attention. If taken something what is wanted. Stopping to do the thing s/he is

interested in. Fatigue, hunger, thirst or loss of sleep. Inconsistent parents behaviour. Satisfying demand. To do something s/he is forced.

HANDLING TEMPER TANTRUMS Distract attention to an interesting object.

In public, handle the situation as you would but if

alone without being conscious of others observing.

Keep calm and appear balanced even if you are upset.

Ignore the child and continue doing your work

Be firm on your decisions.

If the child become destructive hold , hold him firmly

till he becomes calm.

Do not argue, shout, hit or reason with the child.

Avoid giving negative or positive attention to

tantrums.

HANDLING TEMPER TANTRUMS cont… Show affection and make the child understand

when the child calms down.

Welcome the child with open arms after tantrums

stops.

Show lack of interest and indifference to

tantrums.

Avoid situations that give rise to tantrums.

Do not say “NO” to the child unless its absolutely

necessary. Give him / her other options s/he can

try.

SHYNESS/ DEPENDENCY

Feel anxious on their own. They need emotional support

and closeness of an adult. Holding clothes, thumb

sucking, nail biting, demanding approval for every event.

Not comfortable with company of others.

Faces trouble forming relationship.

CAUSES Less chances to meet people or less interact with them.

Insecurity / lack of confidence.

Overprotection. Criticizing / criticism of - child in front of others.

HANDLING SHYNESS/ DEPENDENCY Avoid calling the child “SHY”. Do not force the child to

interact. Don’t make him/ her feel

guilty. Accept as it is. Listen to the child carefully. Prepare the child for the

upcoming events. Practice and role play non- shy

behaviour.

HANDLING SHYNESS/ DEPENDENCY Cont… Give the child freedom to

explore, experiment , and create.

Let him find his/ her own way to tackle problem in acceptable limits.

Encourage the child to discuss his/her problem.

Make positive comments and compliments.

Don’t tease or mimic him/ her.

HANDLING SHYNESS/ DEPENDENCY Cont… Don’t overreact or reinforce

shyness by paying too much attention.

Don’t over protect the child. Welcome other children to

visit and play . Allow him/ her develop

meaningful relationships with other children / adults.

HANDLING SHYNESS/ DEPENDENCY Cont…

Give affection and attention to make him/ her secure.

Indulge the child’s name in story/rhyme.

Give responsibilities. Provide him /her with successful and satisfying activities.

CASE 1:“ My three year old son, Anshul’s

temper tantrums are like sudden rains which are intense. Just few days ago, we both were in DTC bus and moving towards shadra and the next minute , Anshul starts screaming loudly because I have not given him the ticket to play which was in my hand. I thought it was best not to yell at him. I got out from the bus with my son and waited for him to calm down. ”-

Shobha , 35.

CASE 2: “My 7 years old son , Pawan, played

with other children but don’t interact because he was very shy. One day he told me that he want to remain in his room by latching himself there. He was very obedient and never argued. I want him to be more interactive with others so, I brought tons of toys. He will get a toy when he will talk to any new person in a day- meanwhile he began talking with his classmates and started developing close relationships.”- Rajesh,38.

Temper Tantrums Shyness/DependencyDO SAY DO SAYI know you are angry. I will listen to you when you cool down.

Let’s show the children your new toy/ doll.

DON’T SAY DON’T SAYI am ashamed of you.

There’s nothing to be scared of! Go and play with others.

TIPS Make a positive behaviour

contract with the child. If he does not show tantrums for 2 days/ a week/, he/ she would be taken for an outing/ or get something he desires.

Teach positive talk- let child repeat saying good things about himself/ her self. eg. I can jump 3 stairs, I am good in cooking etc.

Parents are to NurtureTheir children with

CareDedication, and

AffectionTHANKS TO ALL!!!

Further queries to :pgscounsellor@gmail.com