Temper Tantrums

By: Alison Anderson-Crum

Early Childhood Education

Lively Technical Center

Common CausesoNot understanding what is being asked of heroNot being understoodoNot being able to express feelings or needsoNot being able to solve problems on her ownoNot being able to describe an illnessoNot being able to do things physically that

she wants oBeing uncomfortable or scaredoHungry, but not knowing itoTired but not able to sleepo Jealous of others regarding things or

attention

In other words,

Frustration!!

10 Steps to Preventing

Temper Tantrums

Number 1:

Observe tantrums for patterns. Avoidance of

certain places, situations, people, and time of day may

help in not triggering a tantrum! So, avoid 5 p.m. at

all costs!!

Okay, I am not funny and avoiding a time of day is impossible! So, what

now? A tantrum can occur at any time, but,

by the end of the day, the children have had enough of the fun already.

Save the soothing music and movement activity for the end!

Number 2:

Consistent routines help children define their day.

If they know what to expect next, they feel more secure and more in control of their

own life!

Yes!!!It is all about

Power!!!

Number 3:

Set reasonable limits! No more than five rules and do not expect perfection all of the

time. Have consequences if a rule is not followed. However, the consequences must be in

line with the infraction..

Consistency is KEY!

Number four:

Offer choices.

Let the children decide their own area for the small

group time, etc.

Again, it is all about having control of their

own life!

Number 5:Don’t offer choices when

there isn’t one. Sometimes, we just do not have a

choice…that’s just the way it is.

“Don’t climb on the fence, okay?”

“NO, it is not okay! I want to climb on the

fence!”Remove “OK” from your vocabulary right now!!

Number 6:

Don’t overreact to NO. Be empathetic but firm.

“I know you don’t want to nap, Timmy, but, it is time. At which end would you like to lay your head today?”

Show that you care about his feelings and try to

offer a choice if there is one. If not, see #5.

Number 7:

Say “YES!” more. Listen to the request and if it is reasonable go ahead and agree! But, if you

say no, stick to it.

Y -E –S! Yay! YES!

Number 8:

Avoid frustrating situations…duh!

Age appropriate materials only!! Don’t bring in

higher level toys hoping to advance them more quickly. it only leads to

disruptive behavior!

# 9:Teach her to use words to express her emotions. Use your feeding in

and expansion strategies.

•Feeding in: a strategy where you provide the child’s language

•Expansion: Reframing an

utterance into a sentence

Being able to express herself will improve

communication skills and increase self-

control, thus, lowering frustration levels.

Number 10:

Be a good role model!

Don’t scream back. Show that you are

in control!

Your staying in control is not only a good example, but, is comforting, too. Believe it or

not, a temper tantrum is scary for a child. They have lost

control and feel like they are careening over the edge. The

caregivers are the anchor.

Handling A Tantrum

So, you’ve done everything to avoid a tantrum and it didn’t work…

what now?!

PAUSE BEFORE YOU ACT. Take at least thirty seconds to decide how you will handle the tantrum. Four

possible ways to deal with a tantrum include:

DISTRACT - Try to get the child's attention focused on something

else. If he screams when you take him away from something

unsafe, offer him something else to play with. This technique

works well with toddlers.

REMOVE - Take the child to a quiet, private place to calm down. This should be a quiet "cooling down" place that is

away from other children. Avoid trying to talk or reason with a screaming child. It doesn't work! Stay nearby until you see

that she has calmed down. Then you can talk and return to whatever you were

doing.

IGNORE - Older children will sometimes throw tantrums to get attention. Try ignoring the tantrum and going about your

business as usual.

HOLD - Holding an "out of control" child calmly is sometimes necessary to keep him from hurting

himself or someone else. You might also say something like: "I can see you are angry right

now, and I am going to hold you until you calm down. I won't let you hurt me or anyone else."

Often this approach can be comforting to a child. Again, children don't like to be out of control. It

scares them. An adult who is able to take charge of the situation and remain calm and in control

can be very reassuring.

Remember……Be the anchor!!

THE END!