Source: http://people.howstuffworks.com/temper-tantrum1.htm

TODDLER TANTRUMS AND BEHAVIOR GUIDANCE

Arantxa Dominguez AcevedoEXTRA POINTS

CHLD 1 Child Development & Growth: Prenatal to Early Childhood

Professor: Bharti Dave Date: 03/1/2016

1. Introduction.

“You're standing in the snack aisle of the supermarket. Lying at

your feet is your toddler, who has just been informed (by you) that,

no, she cannot have the Cinderella fruit snacks. Her face has turned a

shade somewhere between red and purple. Her fists are pounding the

floor in fury as she emits a shriek that can be heard in the farthest

reaches of the parking lot. The other shoppers are gaping at this

spectacle as you wish desperately for a hole to open in the floor and

swallow you up” [d].

That is a tantrum. Tantrums are very common in children

between 1 to 4 years, although researchers suggest that the most

intense period is when the toddler is 2 years old. They call it the

terrible 2.

It is more than likely that every parent will face and suffer a

tantrum from her toddler. As a parent, I am interested in knowing and

handling this scary stage of my son. This article is a description of

tantrums and also gives tips to manage them from positive discipline.

2. Research.

A tantrum is an explosion of feelings. It is

an emotional outburst, usually associated with children or those in

emotional distress, that is typically characterized

by stubbornness, crying, screaming, defiance, anger ranting, a

resistance to attempts at pacification and, in some cases, hitting [j].

Researchers have studied tantrums from different parameters

such an audio/vocalization patterns, motor acts and emotional

reactions. They have concluded that tantrums can be classified in two

types [h].

1. The first one is when the child feels trapped because for

example, she has been the whole day doing errands

with the mom and they have not had playing time.

2. The second one is the manipulative tantrum, the one

that the child uses to demand something and it is

accompanied with a meltdown.

After their studies, researchers have found a “tantrugram”, i.e.

a regular pattern in tantrums: “the tantrum was operationally

defined as an outburst of negative emotion and behavior beginning

with the first occurrence of one of the following: stiffening

limbs/arching back (stiffen), getting down, shouting, screaming,

crying, pushing/pulling, stamp- ing (stamp), hitting (hit), kicking

(kick), throwing (throw), or running away. The tantrum ended when

the last of these behaviors had stopped” [b].

They have also concluded that the average duration of a

tantrum is around 3 minutes, but it has a range between 1.5 to 5

minutes [b].

The prevalence of the tantrum changes by age. Starts around

87% between 18 to 24 months, goes up to 91% between 30 to 36

months and then drops to 59% between 42 to 28 months [a]. This

suggests that the older is the child, the less is the prevalence. A

possible explanation is that the tantrums are correlated with

immaturity of the brain; in fact it is linked with the immaturity in

the region that governs the selfishness and self-control [i]. It is also

linked with how a child copes with frustration and overwhelming

situations. Finally, researchers have not found significant differences

between sexes.

There is a concern between parents in how to know what is

normal and when a tantrum can be a sign of something else like a

disorder. There are red flags that we can identify as concerning signs

[e]. Even if the purpose of this article is not addressing this matter, I

will include some notes about red flags: Tantrums and mood changes

are sometimes related to bipolar syndromes and other psychological

disorders. From the DMDD, the criteria to categorize a child with

these disorders are:  “the child's mood between outbursts must be

irritable or angry most of the day, nearly every day, which set a

threshold of at least 12 months” [e]. As we can see, there is a large

difference between tantrums and other disorders, not only in the

duration and prevalence but also in the intensity of the feelings of the

child.

3. Impact/influence  Knowing the tantrum characteristics, some studies have found

triggers and barriers that either activate or stop a tantrum. Because a

tantrum involves an emotional reaction, it is likely to occur when

children are overwhelmed. An overwhelming can be from different

sources and factors such as the child is tired, hungry, upset,

frustrated, confused, scared and much more [f]. Furthermore, studies

have suggested that the intervention of the parents has an impact in

the duration and intensity of the tantrum. The intervention of a parent

normally increases the duration and intensity of the tantrum [b]. That

is the reason why it is extremely important to know how to manage a

tantrum in our toddlers. We should handle the tantrum from a

respectful perspective, the positive parenting actions. In the next

section, let’s talk about tips and how to avoid certain mistakes.

4. Solution.

Source: http://www.kelownaparenting.com/articles-1/raising-respectful-resourceful-and-

responsible-children/about-teresa/parents

The Positive Discipline is a discipline model based on the

positive bases of the behavior and the thinking that there are no bad

kids, only bad behaviors. This model gives us tools to manage

tantrums; one of them is positive time-out. The positive time-out is

a technique to calm down the child, pulling him/her out from the

stressful situation, accompanying him and giving him the

explanations to understand the situation [g]. It is not a punitive time

out, it is an accompanied time with the parent or caregiver to

understand the situation and more importantly, the feelings the child

is experiencing. From the child point of view, their immature brains

are not allowing them to properly manage the situation. We have to

teach them to face and manage the stressful situation.

From this perspective, the child needs to mature so that he/she

learns how to cope with changes. Change is the major stress factor in

the live of a toddler, so let’s prepare our children to new situations.

Following these tips [d] we can decrease the probability of suffering a

tantrum:

- Stay firm, don’t claudicate. With a respectful tone, explain your

child you understand him/her but he/she cannot have his/her

demand right now.

- Communicate with your toddler as much as you can to give

him/her the opportunity to explain his/her needs.

- Try to have your toddler well rested and well feed.

- Avoid situations that can be a trigger for a tantrum such as

grocery, boring errands.

- Warn your child about every task you do. Give him/her the time

to change from one activity to another.

- Give him/her time to play and enjoy. If it is necessary to leave,

don’t forget a toy or something to entertain with.

- Distract your child. Try to redirect the behavior to another

action.

- Give him/her responsibilities and praise him/her to accomplish

them.

If the tantrum still occurs, try to avoid the confrontation. When

the child is experiencing a high emotion, whatever we do can

exacerbate the situation. These are things that we should avoid [c]

during a tantrum:

- Try to extinguish the emotion. When you see your child with a

high emotion, the natural reaction that we have is try to

extinguish it. Don’t do that. The more attention we give in that

moment, the stronger the tantrum.

- It is a bad idea to react the way the children react, with high

emotion, frustration, yelling and more. Instead, try to calm

down and be as relaxed as you can.

- Avoid humiliation and shame to the child.

5. Conclusions.

Knowing the tantrums, their characteristics and how to manage

them is a powerful tool for the parents to avoid negative feelings and

consequences. We should treat our children as human beings: with

respect, love and kindness. Tantrums are an unavoidable situation in

toddler’s development. Some researches talk about the healthy

consequences of having tantrums, which means the brain in

maturing. The more informed we are, the better we can deal with our

toddlers. To have an emotionally intelligent adult, parents have to

give their children the knowledge and tools for handling anxious and

stressful situations, and tantrums are a good starting point.

6. References.Giesbrecht, G. F., Miller, M. R., & Müller, U. (2010). The anger–distress model of temper tantrums: associations with emotional reactivity and emotional competence. Infant and Child Development, 19(5), 478-497.

Green, J. A., Whitney, P. G., & Potegal, M. (2011). Screaming, yelling, whining, and crying: categorical and intensity differences in vocal expressions of anger and sadness in children's tantrums. Emotion, 11(5), 1124.

[a] Potegal, M., & Davidson, R. J. (2003). Temper tantrums in young children: 1. Behavioral composition. Journal of Developmental & Behavioral Pediatrics,24(3), 140-147.

[b] Potegal, M., Kosorok, M. R., & Davidson, R. J. (2003). Temper tantrums in young children: 2. Tantrum duration and temporal organization. Journal of Developmental & Behavioral Pediatrics, 24(3), 148-154.

6.1. Websites.

[c] Child Tantrums: Top Three Mistakes Parents Make. http://www.positiveparentingsolutions.com/parenting/child-tantrums#more-17184

Dealing with Toddler Temper Tantrums in Child Carehttp://articles.extension.org/pages/25413/dealing-with-toddler-temper-tantrums-in-child-care

[d] How to handle a tantrum http://www.webmd.com/parenting/guide/preventing-temper-tantrums-in-children?page=2

Managing your toddler: tantrums! http://www.ahaparenting.com/Ages-stages/toddlers/toddler-tantrums

[e] Normal or Not? When Temper Tantrums Become a Disorder http://www.livescience.com/37473-temper-tantrums-dsm5.html

Positive Parenting In Action: Tantrums http://www.positive-parents.org/2011/07/positive-parenting-in-action-tantrums.html

[f] Positive Parenting: What Really Helps Children During Tantrums. http://www.positiveparentingconnection.net/tantrums/

[g] Positive Time Out https://www.positivediscipline.com/articles/positive-time-out

Three Tips to Stop Temper Tantrums. http://www.positiveparentingsolutions.com/parenting/temper-tantrums#more-17188

[h] Tired of Toddler Tantrums? Know the type of tantrum you’re dealing with! http://www.positiveparentingsolutions.com/parenting/toddler-tantrums#more-16281

[i] Toddler can't help their tantrums: Young brains are wired to be totally selfish - and lack the bit that lets adults think of others. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2111551/Toddler-tantrums-They-help-young-brains-wired-totally-selfish.html#ixzz41VKlDsIr 

[j] What’s a tantrum? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tantrum

Why I’m (sort of) okay with tantrums. http://www.beautythroughimperfection.com/tantrums-are-ok/