Teachers for a New EraTeachers for a New EraFaculty Writing SeminarsFaculty Writing Seminars

Modeling Good Writing Modeling Good Writing for Studentsfor Students

Alberto Esquinca, Education, Alberto Esquinca, Education, aesquinca@utep.eduaesquinca@utep.eduKerrie Kephart, Education, Kerrie Kephart, Education, kkephart@utep.edukkephart@utep.edu

November 16, 2007November 16, 2007University Suite, Union EastUniversity Suite, Union East

11:30 AM – 1:30 PM11:30 AM – 1:30 PM

OverviewOverview

• What? – An approach to modeling good writing for students that makes the values and concerns of the discipline explicit.

• Why? – What constitutes “good writing” is not all the same everywhere.

• How? – Two model texts: metallurgy lab report and executive briefing from business

• And a caveat…

Lab Report: Functional Lab Report: Functional stagesstages

A very formal genre- The author’s communicative purpose is made explicit by the use of headings and sub-headings.• Introduction: It sets the stage, provides background, • Procedure: It discusses how the experiment was

carried out• Results: It describes what was observed, no

interpretation. It can include tables or other means to summarize the data.

• Discussion: It interprets results for the reader.• Conclusion: It states what was determined from the

experiment.

Lab report genreLab report genre

• In writing, scientists must• Specify what took place, what materials were used, how

those materials were manipulated.• Be clear in order to facilitate replicability of procedures.• At the same time “Avoid personalities and reference to

individual human beings and actions” (Lemke, 1990).

• It means that• Writers foreground processes and materials and place

human actors in the background.

Analysis of Procedures Analysis of Procedures sectionsection

• Passive voice– Three elements:

• Subject• Main verb• Past participle

• Crucially- The subject position is not filled by a person who undertakes action or acted on the materials

SubjectsSubjects• Two samples of Al-2.5% Cu alloy• [They] (x 3)• Sample A• [It] (x 2)• The other sample, Sample B,• It (x 2)• Sample B• [it]• Each sample (x 6)• The samples

Past participlesPast participles

• All but one are verbs of doing, acting.• In everyday language they would be

used as a person action on an object.• In science discourse, the human

actor is removed.• Replicability is the motivation.

Past participlesPast participles

• made• put (x 2)• melted, remelted• kept (x 2)• taken out• poured into (x 2)• cut down• ground• polished• etched (x 2)

ReviewReview

• No human actors. Subjects are inanimate objects (“samples”).

• Replicability is the guiding principle being enacted in the text.

• Anybody should be able do the procedures. References to specific people is avoided.

CompareCompare

• Student writing in 4th grade science– Does include references to specific

people doing things and acting on objects.

4th grade science writing4th grade science writing

• “When we made a circuit…• “When we wrapped a wire..• “When we made a circuit …”

Discussion section analysisDiscussion section analysis

• The student uses linguistic resources to interpret, explain, attribute and, in general, produce a reasonable explanation for observed phenomena.

Causality connectorsCausality connectors

• Due to (x 6)• Because (x 3)• Therefore (x 4)• since

Causality in nounsCausality in nouns

• effect • reason• a direct result (x 2) • possibility (x 3)

Causality in a verbCausality in a verb

• Made

• The heat flow outward in all directions around the crucible made the dendrites grow towards the center of the crucible.

• Energy --> growth

In sumIn sum

• The procedure establishes the activities that were carried out in the experiment. – But the emphasis is on the activity, not the person

who undertook the actions.

• The discussion offers up a reasoned explanation for why what was observed took place.– Causality is mostly done through connectors, but

also through nouns and verbs.

• Each section of the lab report has different purposes. Words (nouns, verbs, connectors) are used to fulfill the communicative purpose.

Analysis of Executive Briefing: Functional Stages

1.1. IntroductionIntroduction – Introduces the issue or problem. Contains the primary recommendation for action, usually within the first paragraph.

2.2. Company and Industry BackgroundCompany and Industry Background – Provides just enough information about the source of the issue/problem to set the context for the analysis. (Comes from the case study materials.)

3.3. AnalysisAnalysis – Reflects the implementation of tools of strategic analysis (taught in the course). Must lead logically to the primary recommendation. Often presented as a table.

4.4. RecommendationsRecommendations – Provides more detailed discussion of the primary recommendation, including any prerequisites, parts, or processes involved in implementing the recommendation.

5.5. ConclusionConclusion – Briefly reiterates the primary recommendation and justification.

Analysis of Executive Briefing: Valued Features

• Brevity, succinctness, and “skimmability” – “Time is money.”

• Specificity – recommended actions need to refer clearly to the relevant actors and the entities being acted upon.

• Balance – analysis must demonstrate a balanced approach.

• Boldness – although alternatives are often presented, analysis must lead logically toward a clear course of action.

Analysis of Executive Briefing:Analysis of Executive Briefing: Organization and ContentOrganization and Content

• Introduction – foregrounding of recommendation helps meet time concerns.

• Background – Choice of information to include.

• Analysis – Use of tables organizes information succinctly, shows relationships among ideas, and leads toward recommendations.

Analysis of Executive Briefing:Analysis of Executive Briefing: Word Choice and GrammarWord Choice and Grammar

• Hedging the analysis – use of “may” in “Barriers to Value Creation.”

• Noun phrase for recommendation – makes the major decision sound like a “done deal.”

• Use of abbreviations – meets goal of succinctness; demonstrates membership in the “business management” discourse community.

Steps in Explicit Modeling of Steps in Explicit Modeling of TextsTexts

1. Identify the text type/genre that you want students to learn to write.

2. Choose an exemplar of the genre as a model.3. Analyze the major sections or “stages” of the text –

identify the functional purposes and content of each stage.

4. Analyze specific stylistic, vocabulary, and grammar choices that express the purposes of the text.

5. Keep in mind the values and concerns of the discipline and how these are expressed in the text.

6. Present the model to students – use slides and discuss it in class, prepare a handout, and/or post the annotated model text in the course website.

Tentative Topics for Spring

• Peer-Review and Writing Conferences• Dealing with Plagiarism• Second language learners’ issues• “Have You Tried This?” – faculty

across campus share strategies & experiences