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There’s something fishy on

Sexton Campus. In the pasttwo weeks many have noticed the

stench of rotting sea life and have

asked, “Where is that coming

from?”. I don’t care to go near

the source to figure that out, but

I offer a few hypotheses on the

source of the problem:

• The Architects. These hip-

sters eat so much sushi that

every time they go to hot

yoga, pure fish oil drains out

Editor in Chief:Shani Blankrot

January 26th 2011Page 1

CO-OP CORNER 

Things to Remember:

• e Co-op website oers

many tips and is very infor-mation. e website isengandcompscicoop.dal.ca

• Round 1 is from January 6 toFebruary 14.

Word of the Week

e Sextant is published by theDalhousie Sextant PublishingSociety and aims to represent allof the students studying and livingon Sexton Campus.

Editor: Shani Blankrot

Assistant Editor: Dilan WatsonTreasurer: Riccardo Ciccarelli

If you have any concerns aboutthe paper, please email sextant@dal.ca

Write.Get Paid.Send articles to sextant@dal.ca

The inspiration for this article

comes from a trip I had on

the bus, because I was not able

to drive my car for a night. For

the first 3 years of my undergrad,

I was doomed to take the Metro

Transit to and from school. Yes, I

say doomed because there are very

few things that I like about the

public busses. The busses stop ev-

erywhere, they can be late (or even

worse, early!) and in general not a

very convenient and quick means

of travel. I think a lot of students

can agree with me on those issues,that Metro Transit has been trying

to fix up. One thing I can say posi-

tively about Metro Transit is that

if the bus is quiet, I can nap until

I reach my destination. However,

the one thing I’d love to complain

about is some of the people on the

Martin Crawley

(5th year Mechanical)

Bus Etiquette?

Looking for something to do?Not spending enough time

mingling with other faculties/disciplines? en check outsome of these events.

ursday January 27thEnvironmental Programs Stu-dents Society 

ursday February 3rdMech Society Night, T Room

Friday February 4thMunro Day - No ClassesSki Trip

Saturday February 5thPulling for the KidsPulling for the Kids Aer Party 

Does your society have anevent on Sexton Campus? Sendan email to sextant@dal.ca andwe’ll post it here!

Event postings for our rstissue in January are due onJanuary 1st at 5pm. Don'tforget that any society on withactivities on Sexton Campus isfree to advertise with us.

Sexton Campus

Events

Halifax's Best Trivia!

The Sextant wants

students with

ideas.

The Sextant wants

students with

talent.

The Sextant wants

students with

ideas.

The Sextant wants

students with

energy.

The Sextant wants you.

Paid Editorial and Publishin

Board positions are open.

Time commitment varies.

Inquire sextant@dal.ca

Fish Stank (n): Sketchy odoureminating throughout and aroundSexton campus last week. Originunknown.

Editors’ note: Word of the Week is a humour columnbased on popular expressions around Sexton Campus.If you have any complaints or suggestions, please e mailsextant@dal.ca. Obviously we prefer suggestions!

bus. Yes, passengers on the bus

bother me just as much as any-

thing else to do with the Metro

Transit. I really think that there

should be a set of rules for people

once they step on the bus, and if 

they are already in effect, should

be enforced.

Irritant #1: People who are con-

stantly talking loudly on their

cellphones. Not even my iPod can

tune these ignorant people out. No,

I do not want to know how ridicu-

lously trashed you got at that party,

or that you are arguing with your

significant other about trivial mat-

ters. When you get on the bus, stfu

and if need-be, make a QUICK

phone call.

Irritant #2: Parents who can’t

control their children on the bus.

I think this is self explanatory. If 

your kid is in his or her terrible

twos, deal with it. Not everyone

wants to hear that little snot cry

about not getting that toy that they

wanted at the mall. I shouldn’t

have to deal with your kids atti-

tude, or your weak parenting.

Irritant #3: People who smell.

Does a bar of soap or deodorant

mean anything to these people. I

understand, you had a hard day at

work and may have broke a sweat,

but that doesn’t mean you can’t

carry a bar of deodorant in your

bag and apply it before riding the

bus.

Irritant #4: People who listen to

music loudly. I love listening to

my iPod, and jamming while the

bus is rolling through downtown.

That doesn’t mean I want to listen

to your crappy music. I don’t want

to have to compete over whose

music is more awesome by having

to increase the volume of my iPod

to drown out yours. Turn down

that infernal racket of yours!

Irritant #5: People who reserve

the seat next to them for their

purse or bag when the rest of the

bus is full. What makes you think

that your bus fare for one seat

magically translates into a seat for

your bag as well, while all the rest

of the passengers have to stand up

and suffer for your greediness? On

airlines, they charge you extra for

more than 1 seat or extra luggage,

so why can’t this apply to busses

as well? Until that time, keep your

bags on your lap, and if you can’t

fit it on your lap, get a cab.

I know a lot of people share in my

grief. I should mention that most

passengers on the Metro Transit

are not annoying and simply go-

ing from point A to point B. That’s

what Metro Transit is for. It’s just

the few who ruin it for the major-

ity. Even though I drive my car

to school everyday, I can still say

I rode the transit, and I feel your

pain! If you are a culprit who is

reading this article, maybe you

will take notes of your annoying

actions and end them.

Like many firms have learned,

there is always room to cut

costs in any industry by deter-

mining where the appropriate

efficiencies can be attained.

Scientific management prin-

ciples of standardization, lean

manufacturing practices, as well

as time and motion studies can

also breed benefits to industrially

engineering the world of sex. As

with everything, time is of the

essence. Contrary to the average

non-engineering bedroom, in this

field it is believed that the quicker

the better. According to Gilbreth,

many things are 'Cheaper by the

Dozen', which in fact may be

one incentive to encourage your

loved one(s) to pursue a career

in this line of work. Besides

time and materials, there are

also many costs to account for:

a seedy apartment in Dartmouth,

a MACPASS, as well as the

necessary budget on covering up

that C-section scar. Furthermore,

from Engineering Econom-

ics we have learned that plastic

enhancements can be counted as

a depreciable asset, which may

constitute rework on account of 

the wear and tear. So, ensure you

optimize its mileage - possibly

via a very basic linear program.

When presenting this proposal to

the bank, outline a business plan,

with a detailed process diagram.

Venn diagrams are also useful to

demonstrate and document the

common conundrum of sleeping

one's way through university - is

it a subset or is the union just a

slight overlap? There has been

much controversy, but statistics

show that a FIFO discipline is

best for most cases 19 out of 20

times, because nobody is getting

any younger. Prepare appropri-

ate control charts, typically with

the 3-sigma standard deviation

to monitor amounts of venereal

disease (VD). Remember, there is

no concern if it is not statistically

significant. Finally, remember the

key tenants of lean manufactur-

ing: What would Frederick Win-

slow Taylor do (WWFWTD)?

Six Sigma Sex

Phil Thibodeau

(5th year Mechanical)

What’s that smell?

Navin Chari

(PhD Candidate In-

dustrial Engineering)

of their pores. All the seagulls

by Bud the Spud are actually

 just waiting for the architects

to get out of class.

• Environmental Engineers.

I’m all for saving the envi-

ronment, but let’s keep to

taking showers. Who knowswhat’s stuck in those dread-

locks after returning from a

trip on the Sea Shephard.

• Carlton Campus. Rumours

are that cutbacks have the

med students practicing CPR

on Cod and some types of 

tuna. Or maybe they’re just

bored? Either way, some

Mentos would help.

• Dal Business. Those who

excel in flipping burgers are

sometimes given the chance

at making fish and chips.

Clearly, this may have been a

bit optimistic.

Any of these are likely causes,

and all should be addressed. It

really stinks.

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January 26th 2011Page 2

Apparel - Belt Buckles (Bronze, Silver and Goldtoned), Keychains and T-Shirts!

EngiBEERing every Friday aernoon in the DesignCommons! Wear a sweater vest for a free beer!

Gossip Geek here. Your one and only source into the scandalouslives of Sexton’s engineers.

On Sexton campus, some partiesare discipline only. Others arestrictly for close friends. But someparties bring everyone, even non-engineers together. But with every party, comes scandal. Someonegets in a ght, a boyfriend is spot-ted cheating on his girlfriend andsomeone throws up on the danceoor. Last Saturday night was nodierent.Spotted: A mystery man getting

escorted out of the TRoom.And then there are those that try to keep the party peaceful.. Noidea what P was trying to accom-

plish here, maybe prepping for afuture career as a mall cop?And then there are those thatcreate scandal just by arriving at

a party. M, next time try to savethe goggles for skiing.. you mightactually get to talk to a girl.And then like every great party,the cops arrive, the lights comeon, someone passes out beside the

toilet and everyone else goes tond poutine. Until next week-end…

You know you love me.

XOXO Gossip Geek.

Got some dirty laundry youwant me to see? Send yourshameful pics to:dalgossipgeek@gmail.com

Photo of the Week by Nick Greeno (5th year Mechanical): The view from the top of the mountain at Sugarloaf in Carrabassett Valley, Maine.

Sextant Positions Fall 2011

Current Events / Much to do with Nothing• Croc at a Ukraine aquarium

swallows a visitor’s cell

phone. Following the swal-

lowing, the croc started ring-

ing. Poor thing hasn’t eaten

much or had a bowel move-

ment in about four weeks.

Wishing him all the best.

• There’s a fishy stank on

campus. No one really knows

why.

• Speculation sweeps the na-tion over whether Obama

dies his hair. It seems less

gray in one picture than

another. Hm.

• George, a tortoise from

the Galapagos, is almost

one hundred years old and

is believed to be the last

member of the Geochelone

abigdoni species. Scientists

have been trying to mate

him with a wide selection of 

female tortoises for almost20 years now – but no luck.

They’ve recently found two

new potential mates for him,

so we’re hoping George will

knock one of them up soon!

• Statistics from the national

weather office suggest that

Canadian winters are getting

milder. Really? I can barely

even type this, my fingers are

so frozen.

• "No Strings Attached" star-

ring Natalie Portman andAshton Kutcher was a top

seller at the box office. But it

was terrible. Don't go see it.

• Body of Mike Bongiorno,

Italian TV star, has been

stolen straight from the

graveyard. If found, please

email us.

• A grand piano showed up, in

up right position, on a Miami

sandbar surrounded by water.

Do people have nothing bet-

ter to do these days?

• Oprah just found out she has

a sister, Patricia.

Iron Ring Countdown

We're starting to look for students

to fill Sextant positions in Fall2011. Shani Blankrot and Dilan

Watson, Editor in Chief and As-

sistant Editor, will be graduating

in May.

We're hoping to find talented, in-

novative, and dedicated individu-

als to fill these positions. It is a

great opporunity and learning ex-

 perience to work for The Sextant.

Students going on to look for jobs

in the future will have demonstrat-

ed project management, creativity

and responsibility; very desirableskills.

Both positions are extremely well

compensated, and we are begin-

ning recruitment for these posi-

tions. If you are interested, please

email us at sextant@dal.ca. No

 prior experience required.