Recovery Leadership Training Guide

Recovery LeadershipTraining GuideA Guide to Having Healthy Family GroupsTable of ContentsMission, Vision, and Strategy of the Recovery MinistryRecovery Leadership RequirementsRecovery Leadership ResponsibilitiesRecovery Leadership CommitmentsPreparing for Family Group with PrayerGroup GuidelinesParticipant GuidelinesEnforcing Group and Participant Guidelines (Tactfully)Using Proper DiscernmentSpiritual Warfare TrainingUsing Appropriate WordsOvercoming Family Group ChallengesFamily Group Structure and Organization

Mission, Vision, and Strategy of the Recovery MinistryMission: To help people become fully devoted followers of Jesus Christ. Vision: We are here to provide a place where people can experience God and the wholeness He has in store for them. We are here to help the broken and hurting people who are tired of being broken and hurt.Strategy:Connect---Connect them with the programThere are many avenues to connect people to this Ministry.The most vital connection; is their connection to Jesus Christ.This can be done by inviting them to church; Big Group meeting; 2:42 Group Listen to their story of hardship at work, school, home, ETC.Pray for them and/or with them.Offer to give them a ride if they are willing to come but do not have transportation.GrowFollow through with the twelve stepsEncourage daily devotion time with the Lord in prayer and in His Word. Help them persevere through the rough moments, days or weeks by applying the Steps in their life. Emulate how healing & peace experienced will help them grow in a personal relationship with Christ.Serve-Pass along the blessing and comfort you have received; to use the gifts and tools God has given you to share with another in need. God wants us to emulate Him.II Corinthians 1:3 & 4----All praise to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. He is the source of every mercy and the God who comforts us. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When others are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.***In all the above statements, our words and actions in the Recovery Ministry are to Glorify Christ and be humble before Him and have joy in doing so.

Recovery Leadership RequirementsRequirements for Leaders & Co-leadersSigned church Membership documentSigned church Leader Expectation documentAttendance at the MAJORITY of the 16 week sessionShow up prepared, excited, prayed-up and ready to leadPassionate about seeing people made wholeAttended Starting PointGood group leadership skillsBeen through the programRequirements for Apprentices:Signed church Membership DocumentAttendance at the MAJORITY of the 16 week sessionShow up prepared, excited, prayed-up and ready to fill in if neededPassionate about seeing people made wholeAttended Starting PointWillingness to be coached by a leader for the purpose of becoming a future leaderBeen through the program

Recovery Leadership ResponsibilitiesPartner up with another leader to facilitate an effective and healthy family groupKeep the group on task, starting and ending on timeAccountable to keep the group safe and healthyMake sure each group member gets a weekly phone callSearch for and intentionally coach an apprentice inside of the groupRecruit additional leadersCommunication with co-leader and family group about any planned vacations or missed weeks.Recovery Leadership CommitmentsMake phone calls to group members who dont show, or assign those calls out to other membersStay in contact with each group member by phone, text, e-mail, or Facebook on weekly basis. Maintain Group Guidelines and Participant GuidelinesKeep the conversation moving and relevant to the Step (or content) discussed for the week.Love on peopleKnow how to handle different personality typesKeep the group safeAsk for prayer requests and pray for themKnow when to break confidentialityAs a leader, I will NOT:Give medical adviceGive legal adviceGive counseling

Preparing for Family Group with PrayerPrayer Preparations (at home before group time)Pray thankfulness first always.Hebrews 12:28-29 (NIV) Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our God is a consuming fire.Pray for discernment (see Using Proper Discernment) through your ready knowledge of scripture Hebrews 4:2 For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow, ; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.Pray for protection (See Spiritual Warfare Training) of yourself, your family, the ministry, and your group members from the enemys attack. Read Ephesians 6:10-18 out loud to the Lord (the armor of God).Pray over your words (see Using Appropriate Words)Pray that every single word that comes out of your mouth is directly from the Holy Spirit. Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.Colossians 4:6 Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.

Group GuidelinesEach Family Group is planned to have a leader, co-leader, or an apprentice.

Each member agrees to the Participation Agreement on page #14

Safety-Confidentiality

There will be no judging, probing, one-upping, fixing, advice-giving or interrupting

There will be no over-use of profanity to describe feelings.

Participant GuidelinesRecognize that the Holy Spirit is in charge.Gratefully acknowledge the Holy Spirits presence and pray for his guidance and direction.Make a point of ministering love in an appropriate manner.Respect the needs of others by asking permission to express concern with a hug or a touch. Many are uncomfortable with physical contact.Focus individual sharing on the step (or content) being worked.Focus sharing on individual experience, strength, and hope in working the steps being discussed.Allow equal time for everyone in the group to shard.Limit talking and allow others to share.Keep your comments brief, take turns talking, and dont interrupt others.Respect each persons right to self-expression without comment.

Participant Guidelines Cont.Encourage comfort and support by sharing from ones own experience.Do not attempt to advise or rescue them.Accept what others say without comment, realizing it is true for them.Assume responsibility only for your own feelings, thoughts, and actions.Refrain from cross talk.Cross talk occurs when two or more people engage in dialogue that excludes others. It may also involve advice giving.Maintain Confidentiality.Keep whatever is shared within the group to ensure an atmosphere of safety and openness.Avoid gossip.Share your own needs and refrain from talking about a person who is absent.Refrain from criticizing or defending others.Lovingly hold others accountable for their behavior only if they ask you to do so. Otherwise, recognize that we are all accountable to Christ, and it is not our place to defend or criticize others.Come to each meeting prepared and with a prayerful attitude.Before each meeting, read designated materials and complete any written exercises.Pray for guidance and a willingness to share openly and honestly when you communicate with at least one other group participant.Enforcing Group and Participant Guidelines (Tactfully)Interrupting is a part of enforcing group rules. Be kind and loving when you do so. If they are saying something damaging (emotionally or spiritually damaging)to another group member If they are saying something damaging about someone not in the group that could harm their reputation (gossip or slander).If they refuse to talk about the step or themselves but go on long rabbit trails.If they are breaking other group rules (like cross talk, etc.)Using Proper Discernment Definition: Discernment defined is (simply)- distinguishing between what is good and what is evil. (i.e.: knowing the difference) or knowing what is truth and what is untruth. Discernment ONLY comes from the Holy Spirit or Scripture. Scripture:Hebrews 4:2 For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow, ; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.1 John 4:1 Dear Friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God because many false prophets have gone out into the world1Thessalonians 5:21-22 But examine everything carefully; hold fast to that which is good; abstain from every form of evil.

Using Proper Discernment Cont.To deal with CONFLICT among group members or between members of leadership.Discern the source of the conflict and if at all possible make peace by preferring the other person before yourself. Romans 12:18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.Romans 12:10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.Fill in the gap with trust! Go directly to the source of the conflict. Do not gossip to others.Matthew 18:15-17Ephesians 4:31-32Colossians 3:13James 4:1-6Matthew 5:9James 1:19-21Hebrews 12:14-15

Spiritual Warfare TrainingBe prepared ahead of time: i.e. Put your armor on (Ephesians 6:10-18)We have authority over the enemy through Jesus. Luke 10:19-20 I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you. However, do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven.How does that knowledge of the enemy prepare us for spiritual warfare in your group?Example: A group member is offended by something you said or a way you handled a situation and they lash out at you in group. Recognize that you are not being attacked by that person and handle the situation calmly and rationally, without taking offense. (Ephesians 6:12)

Spiritual Warfare Training Cont.Having Balance in spiritual warfare.Two extremes to avoid:Ignoring spiritual warfare altogether. 2 Corinthians 2:11- In order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes.Over-focusing on spiritual warfare and the enemy (Satan did not spill your milk this morning nor did he cause the vending machine to not dispense your Twinkies.) rather than on Christ. Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirableif anything is excellent or praiseworthythink about such things.Using Appropriate WordsYour words have power to influence for good or evil: Proverbs 18:21 The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.Avoid destructive words and choose appropriate words to edify (using discernment from the Holy Spirit). Kind-sounding platitudes or empty words are just as harmful as destructive words. Matthew 12:36-37 - But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned. If you Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.Colossians 4:6 Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.**If your words will not edify or lift up another person in some way, then they are either empty or destructive words and should be avoided at all costs.

Overcoming Family Group Challenges There are several types of disruptors you may find yourself needing to overcome in your small group. These situations are, of course, the challenging aspect of leading a small group. It is important to keep in mind however, that your group members will indicate their respect for you when you redirect the conversation to someone other than the monopolize, bring the rabbit trail person back to the main path and graciously acknowledge the contradictors right to their own opinion while making certain the group understands and/or finds the truth.The Monopolizer usually doesnt mean to offend; they may at times be inappropriate and disruptive. To help you deal with them:Avoid making eye contact with them when asking a question. Look at others instead.Ask for new opinions. Say something like: Some of us have contributed many ideas. Lets allow some other group members to share.Appreciate the individual who is dominating (thank them for sharing) and turn your attention to someone else.In extreme cases, you may have to speak privately with them. Ask for their cooperation in getting others to participate.The Rabbit Trailer does their best to get you off track.You might say: This is a very interesting discussion, but I think weve strayed from our original topic. Maybe we could discuss this topic another time.If you do allow tangents, make them work for you. At times, tangents (something off the target of the study) can be good. Watch group members closely, making eye contact, to determine if the tangent seems to be a common concern. If a tangent motivates participation well, monitor the time involved and, if necessary, redirect the conversation at the appropriate time.

Overcoming Family Group Challenges Cont.The Contradictor may disagree with your doctrine or interpret the scripture differently than you do. They may end up turning every discussion in the direction they want the group to go. For example, a study of Philippians may turn out to be a constant debate on name it and claim it faith or some other ancillary subject.Acknowledge their opinion in a positive manner but its ok to say, Heres what I believe. Or We may need to agree to disagree.If they make you doubt yourself, tell the group youll research with a pastor, confirm Biblical doctrine and come back with an answer next meeting.Dont let anything go. Follow up with your research promise.The Pseudo-Leader will also have an agenda of their own. They may use humor or misguided wit as a weapon to shield herself from the Word itself. The person will constantly try to wrestle control of the group away from you using various methods of distraction. This type of behavior can easily prevent the group from ever reaching the critical application phase of the study. (Perhaps an unconscious goal from the outset)The natural tendency is to fight them. But fighting only plays in to their struggle with authority.Its quite possible you may need to take them aside and talk to them. The key is to be confrontive enough to point out where they are disrupting the groups progress and then encourage them by letting them know how much you need their help in making sure the group reaches its intended goal. Enlist them! Recruit them! Invite them to assist you in reaching the groups goals. Indentify and acknowledge their strengths and the contributions they have made and can make in the future. See if they have any additional ideas, which can aid the groups advancement.The Silent One will let everyone else have their opinion and stay safe and comfortable not replying to questions and voicing what they are thinking.Look directly at the person and ask them if they have input. Some people need to feel valued. They may secretly feel that what they have to say or add to the discussion is unimportant. Inviting their participation lets them know that weve noticed their silence and we are interested in what they might have to add.Allow sufficient time for response. Too often we, as facilitators feel uncomfortable with the silence between responses. Recognize that we need to allow people sufficient time to get their thoughts in order. Some people take longer than others to know what theyd like to say and process their thoughts.

Family Group Structure and OrganizationStep OverviewAt the beginning of each step there is an overview that provides insights into understanding, working, and preparing for the step work. These sections can be read prior to group discussion as a way to encourage discussion and to remind the participants of the steps major themes.Step PrayerImmediately following the overview, there is a prayer which can also be used as a closing prayer or prior to the sharing time.Helpful HintsHelpful Hints are included in each step to provide program and Scripture-oriented resources for prayer, meditation, and Bible study. Reference is made to The Life Recovery Bible by Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. and Prayers for the Twelve Steps-A Spiritual Journey and Meditations for the Twelve Steps-A Spiritual Journey by RPI Publishing, Inc. The last two books were written specifically as companion books to The Twelve Steps-A Spiritual Journey.Preparing for CommunityThe section entitled Preparing for Community is provided to support family group discussion. The first question asks the participant to list three questions he or she would like to discuss. The remaining questions encourage discussion about the application of the steps in daily life.Key IdeasThe Key Ideas section that follows Preparing for Community highlights major themes that were covered in the step. This section can be used as a tool to review the step or to probe the understanding of the participants.Family Group Structure and Organization Cont.Suggested Meeting FormatsMeeting formats are offered only as suggestions. Each group has its own uniqueness, and the facilitator should be sensitive to this and follow a meeting format that best serves the needs of the group.Group ActivitiesThe Group Activities that follow each step offer a change of pace. The activities include a number of lighthearted opportunities for playful group interactions, involving everything from art to role playing and games. Listen to What is SaidSpoken messages contain three essential parts: words, tone of voice, and non-verbal cues or body language. Consider what the person is saying with words and with non-verbal cues.Establish Group GuidelinesGroup guidelines create safety and encourage deeper sharing, and will vary according to the group needs. Establish mutually agreed upon guidelines in advance, so that participants know what to expect. Some basic fundamentals are:No probing or judgingNo cross-talk, fixing or advice-givingNo judgingNo interruptingModel Spiritual CharacterGroup members will feel safe when the facilitator models spiritual virtues such as patience, kindness, and love. Showing concern and sensitivity for others helps members grow in empathy for one another.

Family Group Structure and Organization Cont.Reward Honesty and Openness with AffirmationsAffirm group members with praise, encouragement, appreciation, and acknowledgement. Guard against mixed messages, such as, Jim, you add so much to this group by your presence, you just need to be here more often. A brief affirmation such as, Im glad youre here, Jim or Thanks for sharing or Good insight is effective and supportive.Use Personal Experiences as Teaching ToolsEncourage group members to value and learn from the experience, strength, and hope shared by others in the group. Lifes most important lessons are best shared as stories.Encourage Appropriate Trust and LoyaltyGroup loyalty and trust is a result of members feeling safe with one another. When the members feel safe, they become more open and honest. As the facilitator, describe your personal understanding of confidentiality within the group, explain the damage that gossip causes, and emphasize the benefits of maintaining privacy.Focus on Harmony as a Group PriorityWithout harmony, group members will not feel comfortable expressing their feelings. Encourage harmony by helping the members focus on their attitudes and conduct. Remind the group to treat others with dignity and respect, to promote acceptance and tolerance, and to seek unity even in conflict.Relate to the Here and NowSharing ones current story and experience promotes growth. War stories from the past and hopes for the future can either retard growth or encourage denial. But telling it like it is today encourages honesty.Teach your group members to pray.By example first. Pray aloud for and with your group every single meeting.By practice, second. Push your group members out of their comfort zone. All group members should practice praying aloud at least by the 2nd or 3rd step.