reading the tells learning how to read body language · • in the non-verbal world, the limbic...

98
Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language Jerry Balistreri M.S., M.Ed., ASTD Certified Trainer (Copyright 2017)

Upload: others

Post on 16-Aug-2020

0 views

Category:

Documents


0 download

TRANSCRIPT

Page 1: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Reading The Tells

Learning How to ReadBody Language

Jerry BalistreriM.S., M.Ed., ASTD Certified Trainer

(Copyright 2017)

Page 2: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Non-Verbal Communication Professional Uses

Are you good at “reading” people?When in a meeting can you tell who is

bored, nervous, or wants to leave?

Page 4: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Deception Is Pervasive In Our World

Chameleon Stone fish

Common Octopusguppy

Page 5: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Professional Uses

Can you read an interview applicant?

Can you tell if a client is displeased when negotiating a contract?

Can you tell if someone is genuinely interested in what you have to say?

Can you tell if someone is anxious and wants to leave?

Page 6: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Non-Verbal CommunicationPersonal Uses

Do you know what to look for if a date is going well?

Page 7: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Personal Uses

You come home after curfew time and Mom is there to greet you. Can you tell her mood

even before she speaks?

Page 8: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Personal Use

Would you like to know if a person you’re about to hire to come into your home to

clean, care for an elderly parent, or child is deceptive?

Page 9: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Personal Use

Would you like to know the next time the car repairman says you need to replace

an expensive part?

Page 10: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Other Uses

• Found my wife via body language• Assisted in a boxing career• HS Principal• Raise children• Negotiating with bosses

Page 11: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Objectives

• Develop skills in reading non-verbal “tells”. (what to look for and what it means)

• Understand the limbic system and its role in non-verbal communication.

• Dispel the myth of “fight or flight”.• Identifying the most “honest” part of the body.• Know how to detect deception.• Improve questioning techniques

My Goal

Page 12: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Base Lining

Definition:Observing a person’s behavior when he or she is under normal, non-threatening circumstances.

When does base lining begin?(Now - and it never stops)

Why is base lining important?(When people deviate from their baseline, that is a red flag!)

Page 13: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Base Lining ContinuedWhat to look & listen for:• Speaking tone (engage in chit chat)• Number of words/minute, and word flow• Eye blink rate (normal relaxed rate is 20/M)• Check for limbic reactions• Use of hands while speaking• Use of hands while listening• Where the person’s eyes are when asked a question• Where a person’s eyes are when answering a

question• How expressive their face is• Etc.

Page 14: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

How We Learn

• What connects the internal you to the external universe?

• How does information from the outside world get in?

• Answer:• Through your senses.• All of our sensory input (every piece of

information from the outside world) comes via the five senses.

Page 15: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

How We Learn Continued

What are the five senses and estimate what percent of sensory information we receive through each sense.

Five Senses Percent of Information_________ _______________ _______________ _______________ _______________ ______

(hearing, sight, smell, taste and touch)

Page 16: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

How We Learn Continued

What are the five senses and estimate what percent of sensory information we receive through each sense.

Five Senses* Percent of Information Sight 83% Hearing 11% Smell 3.5% Touch 1.5% Taste 1%

100%* Walsh, V. (1989)

Stolovich, H. (2002)

Page 17: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from
Page 18: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

What Part of the Message …Mehrabian, Albert (1971) Silent Message, Wadsworth Publishing Co.

Page 19: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

The Limbic System

Page 20: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

The Limbic System Continued

• It is considered to be the “honest brain” in the non-verbal world (Goleman, 1995, 13-29).

• Consequently it gives off a true response to information in the immediate environment.

• Why? It reacts instantaneously, real time, and without thought.

• In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from here.

• The remaining parts of the brain are the thinking and creative parts. These are the non-honest parts of the brain. The brain that can deceive and deceives often (Vrij, 2003, 1-17).

Page 21: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Limbic Responses & The Three F’s

• The limbic brain has assured our survival as a species because of how it regulates our behavior during times of threat and danger (Navarro, 2008, 25-34).

• The “fight or flight” response to threats and danger is a myth. • Correct number and sequence is freeze, flight, or fight (Goleman,

1995, 27, 204-207).• Movement attracts attention. Freezing means survival, it is our first

line of defense when threatened. (Columbine &Virginia Tech. shootings)

Page 22: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Limbic Response Continued

• If the threat is perceived as too close, our second defense is to get out of harms way, or flight. It is distance that gives us comfort.

• The final response, fight, is a last resort tactic. It is survival through aggression. It is a final response as we realize it may bring harm to our own body.

Page 23: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Freeze & Flight

Page 24: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Flight

Page 25: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Fight

Page 26: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Areas To Look For “Tells”

• Face• Hands & Fingers• Arms• Upper Body (chest, shoulders, etc.)• Lower Body (feet & legs)

Page 27: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from
Page 28: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from
Page 29: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from
Page 30: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Leg & Feet Non-Verbals

• Top down versus bottom up (scanning)• When it comes to honesty, it decreases as

we move up the body from the feet to the head.

• Why?• Identifying the most honest part of the

body.• The feet! (Morris, 1985, 244)

Page 31: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Feet & Leg Non-Verbals

• Bouncing feet – high confidence, happy, elated

Page 32: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Feet & Leg Non-Verbals

• Bouncing feet – nervous, anxious, stressed

Page 33: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Feet & Leg Non-Verbals

• Pointing feet – direction of intention• Toe point – happy, elated (gravity defying)• Starter position – ready to leave, disengaged• Leg/foot splay – control, intimidation, threaten,

territorial• Leg crossing (standing) – high comfort• Leg crossing (seated) – leg direction dictates

emotions• Foot lock w chair – freeze behavior due to

nervousness

Page 34: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Can Feet Indicate Nervousness?

Page 35: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Upper Body Non-Verbals(chest, shoulders, & trunk)

• Torso lean (away) – avoidance, dislike, disagreement

• Torso lean (in) – interest, comfort, agreement

Page 36: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Upper Body Non-Verbals

• Torso bare parts – notice me, make statement, affiliation (tattoos, muscles, etc.)

Page 37: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Upper Body Non-Verbals

• Torso embellishments – affiliations, denotes purpose, attitude (clothing, badges, emblems, gang dress, etc.)

• Shoulder rise – weakness, insecurity• Mirroring – comfort

Page 38: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Let’s Practice – Pair & Share

Page 39: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Arm Non-Verbals

• Arms up – happiness, positive, joy, excitement, praise (gravity defying)

• Arms behind back – higher status, not approachable, superiority

Page 40: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Arm Non-Verbals

• Hooding – territorial, in charge• Arm/finger splay on table – territorial,

confidence, authority• Folded arms – disapproving, anger,

defensive, protecting

Page 41: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Hand & Finger Non-Verbals

• Steepling – high confidence, superiority

Page 42: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Hand & Finger Non-Verbals

• Covering of the mouth – disbelief, extreme excitement, nervousness

Page 43: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Hand & Finger Non-Verbals

• Resting face in hands – genuine interest or extreme boredom• Wringing hands – nervous, anxious, stressed• Finger point/snapping fingers – negative, rude, offensive• Tapping fingers – nervousness, tension, boredom• Hand shake – strength of character • Clenched fist – determination, hostility, anger• Thumbs in/out of pocket – low confidence, weakness vs. high

confidence, high status• Stroking and rubbing hands – concern, anxiety, nervousness

Page 44: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Supra Sternal Notch

Page 45: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Let’s Practice – Pair & Share

Page 46: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

What We Saw

• Hand to bridge of nose with head down –(shame, embarrassment)

• Supra sternal notch – (stress, tension)• Crossed hands – (stop, no more, cut off)• Finger to chin – (analysis, evaluation)

Page 47: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

What Were They Saying?

Page 48: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Do Hand Gestures Make A Difference?

Page 49: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Do Hand Gestures Make A Difference? – Take Two

Page 50: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Hand & Finger Non-Verbals

• Suprasternal notch – low confidence, stress reliever, nervousness (women)

• Neck/collar/face touching – low confidence, stress reliever, nervousness (men)

Page 51: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Face Non-Verbals

• Jaw tightening – tension• Furrowed forehead (frown) – disagreement,

resentful, angry• Lips tight together – hesitancy, secrecy

Page 52: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Face Non-Verbals

• Smile – content, understanding, acceptance, encouraging (fake vsreal)

• Direct eye contact – positive messages• Avoiding direct eye contact – you and your message are no longer

important • Eye squinting – dislike, object to loud noise, sounds, anger• Biting the lip – nervous, fearful, anxious• Eye blink increase – troubled, nervousness, suspicious• Lip licking – nervous, stressed, anxious, looking to pacify

Page 53: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Let’s Practice – Pair & Share

Page 54: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Forms of Eye Blocking

Page 55: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Detecting Deception & Lying Is a Three Pronged Approach

Page 56: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

The Science of LyingWhat Motivates Why We Lie?*

Motives for lying fall into one of two categories:

1. Offensive Motives (like in sports we look to score points, advance our position, place our opponent in the corner)and2. Defensive Motives (like in sports we protect ourselves, hold our ground, minimizing pain or embarrassment)

*Meyers, Liespotting, 35Vrij, Detecting Lies and Deceit, 7-8Eckman, Telling Lies, 329-330

Page 57: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Motives for Lying

Offensive Motives (4):1. To obtain a better reward that is not otherwise

easily available.2. To gain advantage over another person or

situation.3. To create a positive impression and win the

admiration of others.4. To exercise power over others by controlling

information.

Page 58: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Motives for Lying

Defensive Motives (5):1. To avoid being punished or to avoid

embarrassment.2. To protect another person from being punished.3. To protect self from threat of physical or

emotional harm.4. To get out of an awkward social situation.5. To maintain privacy.

Page 59: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Lying & Deception Defined

Deception – to intentionally cause to have a false belief that is known or believed to be false. Mahon 2007, 189–1902007. ‘A Definition of Deceiving,’ International Journal of Applied Philosophy, 21: 181–194.

Lying – A message knowingly transmitted to another person with the intent to foster false beliefs or conclusions and without prior notification of purpose.

Meyers, Liespotting, 35Vrij, Detecting Lies and Deceit, 7-8Eckman, Telling Lies, 329-330

Page 60: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Lying & Deception Defined

Deception is a much broader term than lying. It is the umbrella term under which numerous types of deception can be found, one of which is a lying.

Deception

MisleadMisdirectBad faithOmission

FakingLyingBluffMystify

CamouflageConcealDistractSlight of hand

Bad faithDistortionAvoidancePropaganda

Page 61: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Where Are We Most Likely To Hear A Lie?*

• 37 percent on phone calls• 27 percent of face-to-face meetings• 21 percent IM chats• 14 percent of e-mails

*DePaulo et al, Lying in Everyday Life”, 979-995.

Why are IM chats & e-mails lowest percentages?

Page 62: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

The Science of Lying

Why do people lie?

1. Help someone & make ourselves feel good. (pro-social lie)Example – Answering, “Does this dress make me look awkward?”

2. Make ourselves look better while not hurting another. (self enhancement lie)

Example – I also have a Ph.D!

3. Personal benefit at the expense of another. (a selfish lie)Examples – I can’t do this presentation because I have to takemy wife to the airport. Tax preparation.

4. Deliberately damage another. (anti-social lie)Example – I saw Bob take the money.

Paul Ekman 2001UC-San Francisco

Page 63: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

The Science of Lying Continued

“For every lie told, two to three more must be invented to cover the tracks of the first lie.”

Scientific Content Analysis (SCAN) 1992

Liars must:• Remember the first lie• Create new lies that connect to the first lie• Have a great memory• Sound convincing without deceptive leakage

Truthful people do not have to go through those mental gymnastics!

Page 64: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

What Does Thinking Time Look Like?

Source: NBC Dateline “Shinning Star” Episode, 2015

Page 65: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Lying Statistics

Lying is becoming easier and easier for people these days. American’s lie – and are lied to – much more than we realize. The book “The Day America Told The Truth” says that 91 percent of Americans lie routinely.

USA Today

In her book Liespotting, Pamela Meyer indicates we encounter nearly 200 lies a day.

Liespotting, 2010

Page 66: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Lying Statistics Con’tHonesty by Profession

Top Six

1. Nurses 85%2. Pharmacists 68%3. Medical doctors 67%4. HS Teacher 60%5. Police officers 56%6. Clergy 45%

2016 Gallup PollHonesty & Ethics

Page 67: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Lying Statistics Con’tHonesty by Profession

Bottom Dwellers

Lawyers 21%Labor Union 18%Business Executives 17%Stockbrokers 13%Car salesman 8%Members of Congress 8%Telemarketers 8%Lobbyist 7%

2016 Gallup PollHonesty & Ethics

Page 68: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Content & Structure

What creates content and structure?YOUR QUESTIONS!

There is no such thing as a bad interviewee. There are only bad interviewers. Questions must be structured clear and concise, so thereis no room for the respondent to wiggle outof.

Example: Do you know the location of the body?

Page 69: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Content & Structure Continued

That was a poorly stated question for thefollowing reasons:

1. What if an accomplice disposed of the body?

2. What if your suspect dumped the body in a river and the body is now miles downriver from the dump site?

Fraud related questions:

Where did you last see the ring before filing the claim?What do you know about the fire?How did you get injured?

Page 70: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Content & Structure Con’t(Asking the Same Thing Different

Ways)Scenario: Through earlier conversation, it came out the car accident happened on a sunny day.

1. Can you tell me the time of day the accident occurred? (confirms daylight “sunny” hours)2. Can you tell me what you think caused the accident? (opportunity to disclose shift blame, lie, etc.)3. What were the road conditions like? (sunny day would imply good dry roads)4. Did you swerve your car to avoid the accident? (swerve marks may be present on the pavement)5. Did you see anyone swerve to avoid the accident? (swerve marks may be present on the pavement)

Page 71: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Content & Structure Con’t

Scenario: Two male students are sent to you because a school window was broken from a stone being thrown. Each student is blaming the other as the rock thrower.

1. Separate the students as rapidly as possible. (reduces the time to collaborate on a story)

2. Allow some time to pass before interviewing either student (it will imply you may have spoken to the other student first)

Page 72: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Content & Structure Continued

What can you tell me about the window being broken? Possible replies:

• I don’t know anything. (avoidance)• I didn’t hear or see anything. (denial, but

implies to be at the location)• I heard glass break, but by the time I turned

around I didn’t see anything. (places the person at the scene and close enough to see players)

• I saw Bobby throw the rock. (redirecting blame)

Page 73: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Content & Structure Continued

Why do you suppose you are here? (disclose information or not)

What would you say if I had a report from a neighboring home that indicated you were there when the window was broken? (response may contradict previous information, may lead to the truth if they believe someone saw them)

What would you say if I had a report from a neighboring home that said they saw you throw the rock? (allows opportunity to disclose and adds pressure from the belief an observer saw what happened)

Why is it that Bobby is saying you threw the rock? (use lie’s with caution)

Page 74: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Content & Structure Continued

What to look & listen for?

1. Didn’t answer the question.

Example:Question - “Did you take the wallet?”

Response “Why would I take that wallet? I don’t need to steal, I make good money. I’m not the type of person that would steal.”

Page 75: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Content & Structure Continued

2. Changes in tenses and nouns.

Susan Smith, TV Appearance October 1994

“I just can't stress it enough that we -- we just got to get themhome. We're -- that's just where they belong, with theirmamma and daddy.”

Critical Review?

When a pronoun takesthe place of a noun, that’s an indicator of deceit and distancing. No first person usage.

Page 76: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Content & Structure Continued

Susan Smith, TV Appearance November 1994

“I would like to say to whoever has my children, that they please, I mean please bring 'em home to us where they belong. I have put my faith in the Lord, and I really believe He's taking care of them. They're too beautiful and precious that He's not going to let anything happen to them.”

Critical Review?Changing pronouns (whoever to they) Distancing (bring’em and them)

Page 77: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Body Language

What to look and listen for:

1. Pacifying behaviors. (hands to face, neck, ears, suprasternal notch, etc.)

2. Any “blocking” maneuvers.3. Question induced responses. (limbic)4. Change from “baseline”. (breathing, sweating, dry mouth,

voice pitch, etc.)5. Speech errors. (enunciation, hesitations, etc.)6. Create silent time between questions.

(uncomfortable silent and watching induces more detail)7. Observe the entire body. (knowing their eyes are being

watched induces limbic reactions)8. Subject asks for questions to be repeated. (thinking

time, stalling)

Page 78: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Detecting Deception

• Deception and/or lying initiates a stress reaction in most people. The stress is fear of being detected or caught. Stress can be further induced via guilt.

• Nervous fingers• Eye contact shifting • Rigid and/or defensive posture • Sweaty palms and/or face• Variations in pitch, amplitude, and rate of speech • Abnormal speech hesitation and speech errors (thinking)• Increased embellishments of story or parts of the story • Inconsistency in story (BTW, I forgot to tell you something)

Page 79: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

What Do You See?Source: NBC Dateline “Infatuation” Episode, 2015

Page 80: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Deception & Eye Direction

Page 81: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Putting It All Together

• Science of Lying (Lied to benefit self, and harm others)

• Content & Structure (word usage – tense, pronouns, contractions, etc.)

• Body Language (no tears, eyes cast down, pacifying behaviors)

Page 82: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Let’s Practice – Pair & Share (Detecting Deception)

Page 83: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Detecting Lying & Deception

Page 84: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Detecting Lying & Deception

Extended eye blink – disengage with realityRocking back & forth – high anxiety

Page 85: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Detecting Lying & Deception

Asymmetrical smile – sign of insincerity

Page 86: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Detecting Lying & Deception

Feigned smile – sign of duping or getting away with something

Page 87: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Detecting Lying & Deception

Tongue jut – indicator of being bad or caught

Page 88: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Detecting Lying & Deception

Expressing fear – neck & mouth

Page 89: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Detecting Lying & Deception

Rolling lips inward – high sign of being nervous

Page 90: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Putting It All Together-Brady

The three pillars of detecting lying & deception:

1) Body Language – tongue jutfeigned smilerolled lipsexpression of fearasymmetrical smileextended blink, etc.

Page 91: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Putting It All Together - Brady

Three pillars of detecting lying & deception:

2) The Science of Lying

Personal gain or benefit? Ah-Yea!

(reputation, suspension, fines, game forfeiture, banned from play and/or sport, call into suspect all wins, no hall of fame nomination, etc.)

Page 92: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Putting It All Together - Brady

Three pillars of detecting lying & deception:

3) Content & Structure

When asked, “So can you answer right now, is Tom Brady a cheater?”

Response, “I don’t believe so….”A person accused of doing something they didn’t do will normally defend him/her self.

Page 93: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Deception Mastered

Page 94: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Are You Observant?

• To get good at any skill requires practice(basketball, golf, etc.)

• Doctor/student story

• What changed on Jerry?

Page 95: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Bibliography

• 2008, Secrets of Body Language, History Channel.• Akers, Ronald L. and Matsueda, Ross L. “Donald R. Cressey: An

Intellectual Portrait of a Criminologist.” Sociological Inquiry. 59:4 (October 1989).

• Blair, J.P., Horvath, F. (1996). Detecting of Deception Accuracy Using the Verbal Component of the Behavior Analysis Interview Model, Michigan State University.

• Cummings, S. (2008) Mystery at Bootleggers Cove, Dateline TV, NBC.• Ekman P. Telling Lies: Clues to Deceit in the Marketplace, Politics,

and Marriage. New York, NY: WW Norton & Company; 2001. • Gallup Poll, Honesty &Ethics, 2012.• Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional Intelligence. New York: Bantam

Books.• Lickley, Robin, Who Makes Better Liars, Queen Maragaret University.

Page 96: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Bibliography Continued

• Mehrabian, Albert (1971) Silent Messages, Wadsworth Publishing Co.

• Meyer. Pamela, (2010) Liespotting, New york, St. Martin’s Press.• Morris, D. (1985) Body Watching. New York; Crown Publishers.• Navarro, J. (2008). What Every Body Is Saying. HarperCollins

Publishers.• Pastor, Joan. “A Betrayal of Trust”. Standard Examiner, 2009.• Pearlman, G. (2007). How To Spot a Liar, The Palm Beach Times.• Salinger, Lawrence M. Encyclopedia of White-Collar & Corporate

Crime. Thousand Oakes, CA: SAGE, 2004• Smith, D, and Smith, S, Television Interview, 1994.• “The Reid Nine Steps of Interrogation, In Brief.” Practical Aspects of

Interviewing and Interrogation. John Reid and Associates, Chicago, IL.

• USA Today Poll,

Page 97: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Bibliography Continued

• Varsamis, C. (2005). How To Detect Liars In Your Business & Personal Life, Article Alley.

• Vrij, A. (2003). Detecting Lies and Deceit: The psychology of lying and the implications for professional practice. Chichester, UK: John

Wiley & Sons, Ltd.• Wells, Joseph T. Principles of Fraud Examination. Wiley, 2008.• Whittington & Associates, Questioning Techniques in an Audit, April

2002 Newsletter

Page 98: Reading The Tells Learning How to Read Body Language · • In the non-verbal world, the limbic brain is where the “action” is. Many, but not all, non-verbal responses come from

Contact Information

Jerry Balistreri(907) [email protected]

I hope we learned something today?