raising teens in the 21 st century

RAISING TEENS IN THE 21ST CENTURY

James G. Wellborn, Ph.D.

TEXTING, SEXTING & CELL PHONES

James G. Wellborn, Ph.D.

• Internet• Technology• Sex• Stupid teenagers (and politicians and professional

athletes and . . .)

• High school romance• “Anonymity”

THE PERFECT STORM

www.DrJamesWellborn.com

SEXTING STATS


Frequency• 4% sent images (Girls=65%)• 15% received images from Pew

Why teens sext:• Fun or flirtatious = 66% (most common response)• Sexy present to boyfriend = 52% girls• Responding back = 44% • A joke = 40% • Feel sexy = 34% girls • Pressured = 12% girls

TEXTING INFO


Kids who text 120+ times a day: • 3 ½ times more likely to have had sex • More likely to have been in a physical fight• More likely to binge drink, use illegal drugs• Decreased importance of moral, aesthetic, and

spiritual goals• Greater importance of wealth and image• Greater explicit prejudice toward a broad range

of social outgroups.

What’s a parent to do?


TEXTING, SEXTING& CELL PHONES


Educate yourself Have the talk. Set ground rules Make them earn it Computers in common areas Webcams Monitor devices and accounts monthly Test their readiness Warning signs. Consequences

INTERNET


Have the talk Don’t exaggerate the dangers Teach about privacy and personal information Emphasize trust and good judgment Complete transparency Permanent record Sex, flirting, pornography and sexual harassment Sexual Communication and the law



Set the ground rules• Parents have all passwords• Personal information• Acceptable words and information• No sexting or chat rooms visits• All apps must be preapproved• Pictures (and tagging)• Private vs Public information• Friends vs friends• Online bullying/harassment• Language• Sending or receiving aggressive messages



Educate yourself Have the talk Set the ground rules Make them earn it. Computers in common areas Webcams Monitor devices and accounts monthly. Test their readiness Warning signs. Consequences

ELECTRONIC MEDIA READINESS TEST


Novice 6 months of appropriate internet use Knows internet and social network account rules Texts responsibly Remains trustworthy Owns up to violations and mistakes

ELECTRONIC MEDIA READINESS TEST


Expert 6 months as Novice Resists social pressure Assertive Self-control Media savvy Talks to you about problems (optional)

After 17 years old, give up



Educate yourself Have the talk Set the ground rules Make them earn it Computers in common areas Webcams Monitor devices and accounts monthly. Warning signs. Consequences



Monitor devices & accounts monthly• Review pictures• Check for rogue apps• Review texts

WARNING SIGNS


Use computer parents don’t check Close/minimize browser when parents are around Furtive, suspicious behavior/innocent, loving behavior Privacy settings to limit access Lie/omit details of online activity Hide/delete instant messages/texts Use private browsing modes Clears browser history Apps that hide apps Ghost email and social networking profiles

adapted from TRU Insights and McAfee, 2012

SOCIAL MEDIACONSEQUENCES


• First violation• 1 month probation• Supervised electronic media use• Daily talks for 7 straight days• Return to previous level if successful

SOCIAL MEDIACONSEQUENCES


• First violation• If violation is

• visiting chat rooms• sexting • ghost accounts

• Shut down all forms of electronic communication.

• Disable camera.

SOCIAL MEDIAGROUND RULES


• Second violation• Lock them out of their accounts• Drop them to pre-Novice level for 3 months

• Third violation in 12 months• Close their accounts permanently• Lock out internet use from home• Cancel phone texting and internet• Check for Ghost accounts• Consult

www.DrJamesWellborn.come.g., 5 part series on Sexting

There’s A Stranger In My House WWW.BrentwoodHomePage.com

Parenting Teens Newsletterwww.drjameswellborn.com/newsletter

RESOURCES

raising teens in the 21 st century

Documents

sexting cell phoneswww

consequences texting

informationno sexting

sexting cell phones

law texting

girls texting infowww

comeducate yourselfhave

aggressive messages