Download - Raising Teens in the 21 st Century
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RAISING TEENS IN THE 21ST CENTURY
James G. Wellborn, Ph.D.
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TEXTING, SEXTING & CELL PHONES
James G. Wellborn, Ph.D.
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• Internet• Technology• Sex• Stupid teenagers (and politicians and professional
athletes and . . .)
• High school romance• “Anonymity”
THE PERFECT STORM
www.DrJamesWellborn.com
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SEXTING STATS
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Frequency• 4% sent images (Girls=65%)• 15% received images from Pew
Why teens sext:• Fun or flirtatious = 66% (most common response)• Sexy present to boyfriend = 52% girls• Responding back = 44% • A joke = 40% • Feel sexy = 34% girls • Pressured = 12% girls
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TEXTING INFO
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Kids who text 120+ times a day: • 3 ½ times more likely to have had sex • More likely to have been in a physical fight• More likely to binge drink, use illegal drugs• Decreased importance of moral, aesthetic, and
spiritual goals• Greater importance of wealth and image• Greater explicit prejudice toward a broad range
of social outgroups.
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What’s a parent to do?
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TEXTING, SEXTING& CELL PHONES
www.DrJamesWellborn.com
Educate yourself Have the talk. Set ground rules Make them earn it Computers in common areas Webcams Monitor devices and accounts monthly Test their readiness Warning signs. Consequences
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INTERNET
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Have the talk Don’t exaggerate the dangers Teach about privacy and personal information Emphasize trust and good judgment Complete transparency Permanent record Sex, flirting, pornography and sexual harassment Sexual Communication and the law
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TEXTING, SEXTING& CELL PHONES
www.DrJamesWellborn.com
Set the ground rules• Parents have all passwords• Personal information• Acceptable words and information• No sexting or chat rooms visits• All apps must be preapproved• Pictures (and tagging)• Private vs Public information• Friends vs friends• Online bullying/harassment• Language• Sending or receiving aggressive messages
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TEXTING, SEXTING& CELL PHONES
www.DrJamesWellborn.com
Educate yourself Have the talk Set the ground rules Make them earn it. Computers in common areas Webcams Monitor devices and accounts monthly. Test their readiness Warning signs. Consequences
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ELECTRONIC MEDIA READINESS TEST
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Novice 6 months of appropriate internet use Knows internet and social network account rules Texts responsibly Remains trustworthy Owns up to violations and mistakes
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ELECTRONIC MEDIA READINESS TEST
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Expert 6 months as Novice Resists social pressure Assertive Self-control Media savvy Talks to you about problems (optional)
After 17 years old, give up
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TEXTING, SEXTING& CELL PHONES
www.DrJamesWellborn.com
Educate yourself Have the talk Set the ground rules Make them earn it Computers in common areas Webcams Monitor devices and accounts monthly. Warning signs. Consequences
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TEXTING, SEXTING& CELL PHONES
www.DrJamesWellborn.com
Monitor devices & accounts monthly• Review pictures• Check for rogue apps• Review texts
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WARNING SIGNS
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Use computer parents don’t check Close/minimize browser when parents are around Furtive, suspicious behavior/innocent, loving behavior Privacy settings to limit access Lie/omit details of online activity Hide/delete instant messages/texts Use private browsing modes Clears browser history Apps that hide apps Ghost email and social networking profiles
adapted from TRU Insights and McAfee, 2012
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SOCIAL MEDIACONSEQUENCES
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• First violation• 1 month probation• Supervised electronic media use• Daily talks for 7 straight days• Return to previous level if successful
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SOCIAL MEDIACONSEQUENCES
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• First violation• If violation is
• visiting chat rooms• sexting • ghost accounts
• Shut down all forms of electronic communication.
• Disable camera.
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SOCIAL MEDIAGROUND RULES
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• Second violation• Lock them out of their accounts• Drop them to pre-Novice level for 3 months
• Third violation in 12 months• Close their accounts permanently• Lock out internet use from home• Cancel phone texting and internet• Check for Ghost accounts• Consult
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www.DrJamesWellborn.come.g., 5 part series on Sexting
There’s A Stranger In My House WWW.BrentwoodHomePage.com
Parenting Teens Newsletterwww.drjameswellborn.com/newsletter
RESOURCES