primary social & emotional aspects of learning theme 6: relationships

PrimarySocial & Emotional

Aspects of Learning

Theme 6: Relationships

Behaviour & Attendance Strategy for Manchester

Children’s Services

Good to be me …..

….. how was it for you?

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Activity: Reflection

Individually reflect for a minute on the last theme ‘Good to be me’ and identify; One key point of particular success One area for development

Share and record them with your groupFeedback a key point to the whole group

What to do;

PrimarySocial & Emotional

Aspects of Learning

Theme 6: Relationships



How is it used?

Theme for half term that involves the whole school community

Theme and materials introduced in staff meeting

Initial assembly from theme overview

Curriculum work at different levels

Celebration assembly

Follow up staff meeting review and sharing of practice



Relationships

This theme is the second of two focusing specifically on feelings. It explores feelings within the context of our important relationships including family and friends.

‘Relationships’ aims to develop knowledge, understanding and skills in three key social and emotional aspects of learning;

Self-awareness Managing feelings Empathy



Relationships

In addition, there is also a focus throughout the theme on helping children understand the feelings associated with an experience that we all need to cope with at some time: that of loss - whether of a favourite possession, a friend, a family home or a loved one.



Whole school focus

Using the schools usual means of celebration (praise, notes to the child and parent/carers, certificates, peer nominations, etc.) to notice and celebrate children (or adults) who were observed;Week 1: Changing an unfair situationWeek 2: Being pleased for someone’s achievementsWeek 3: Telling the truth, saying sorry or making

amendsWeek 4: Helping someone who is feeling sad or

lonely



Points to note

You might not have chosen to use many of the Purple set activities in the previous themes, but working together as a staff to explore loss and other feelings within close relationships will be very beneficial before working with children.

People’s reactions to loss are varied and

you will have your own range of thoughts, feelings and ways of dealing with issues.

Before working with children, it is important that you

have acknowledged and identified your own emotions and have reflected upon your own responses to loss.



Points to note

The following activities are designed to help you talk with colleagues and provide some insight into what children might feel and need to know.

When undertaking the activities

you will need to be sensitive to the needs and possible

reactions of any members of the staff group who have themselves experienced significant loss.



A quote from Winston’s Wish…

My Mum died and my life changed for ever, it was the

biggest thing that ever happened to me. My teacher never

mentioned it.



Activity 1: Why teach about loss?

Spend a few minutes completing the quiz by yourself before we go through the

answers.

It is estimated that every 30 minutes a child oryoung person in the UK is bereaved of a

parent.

That’s 55 a day.

Or 20,000 childrenevery year.

Around 10% of those aged between 5 and 15will have lost a parent, carer, close friend or close relative – that’s

almost a million of our young people.



Although relatively few children are bereaved, most will experience losses of other kinds during their childhood. Losing a home, losing friends because of moving house or changing schools or losing a pet are examples.

By helping children learn how to express and

manage their feelings, you are helping them to remain emotionally healthy and to engage with learning more effectively.



Death neither obeys the school timetable nor

appears on it … it enters the classroom without

knocking.

A quote from Winston’s Wish



Activity 2: Types of loss

In pairs, read through the set of cards on your table and add any ideas about additional losses on the blank cards.

Place the cards in order, according to how bad you might feel if these things happened to you.



Activity 2: Types of loss

Now in small groups, choose one or two types of loss and consider:

How you already support children who have suffered this type of loss

How your school currently supports children who have suffered this type of loss

What your school might do differently and what else your school could reasonably do to support children

who have suffered this type of loss



Feelings of grief

Grief reactions vary but there is a consensus that there are different phases that many people go through when they suffer a significant loss. These can be seen as a progression from one phase to another, starting with shock, disbelief and denial and ending with acceptance.

But those who have experienced loss will say that the route is not direct, that there are many times when they regress to an earlier stage; and even once they feel that they have accepted the loss, there are times when they are overwhelmed by despair and distress.



Feelings of grief

Reactions to loss are highly individual, and there is no one right or normal way to grieve. We have called the feelings associated with significant loss the ‘feelings of grief’.

Disbelief (associated thoughts and feelings

– shock, denial, disbelief)Recognising the loss

(associated thoughts and feelings – yearning, anger, guilt, sadness,

despair, pain, distress)Realisation

(associated thoughts and feelings – sadness,

hopelessness, depression)Acceptance

(associated thoughts and feelings – the full range of

feelings)



Activity 3: Feelings of grief

Look at resource sheet 2 where characters express different feelings of a loss. Identify which phase in the feelings of grief you think they are operating within.



Activity 4: Loss through separation or divorce

This activity is based on the techniques used in the Philosophy for Children approach. (See appendix 6 ‘Communities of enquiry’)

Read the story Wils or Pilgrim from the Blue set. In pairs, agree a question about the story that you would like to explore.

Record everyone’s questions on a flipchart and agree as a group, by voting,

on a question you will focus on.

One person should act as a facilitator. Their role should be to support the

discussion by prompting people to keep to the question and, if they feel confident

enough, to ask facilitative questions.



Activity 5: Setting the ground rules

As adults we are often worried about talking to children about their loss, especially if the loss is due to bereavement. However, talking about loss is often useful to a child, as it makes it feel normal and acceptable rather than something too horrible and scary to mention. This activity is designed to challenge some of our fears about talking to children.

On A3 paper thought shower your

responses to the following question…



What’s the worst that

could happen?




In your group, choose a fear from the thought showered list and discuss the following questions:

How might we try to

avoid this?

What should we do if our fear

does happen?




As a school, you may wish to share your ideas and write them up as a chart for reference.

Some common fears and thoughts can be found in the handout What are the worst things that could happen when we try to help?

These might be useful to refer to when you have finished the task or as ideas to get you thinking before you start.



Activity 6: What are we doing now and what else could we do?

As a group, reflect on the following questions:

What have you learned from the

activities? What five or six principles should your school have when considering how to

support children who have suffered loss?

(These should be designed to ensure the emotional safety and

well-being of the adults and children involved)



When does a child need extra support?

There is no easy answer to this question. The principle you should use when deciding what the child might need is to consider what is the least intrusive intervention that might be effective. When considering an individual, you might like to answer these questions:

• Are the feelings associated with loss preventing the child from learning and taking part in school life?

• Is the child’s behaviour a concern to themselves and to others?

• Does the child seem excessively distressed and unhappy?



When does a child need extra support?

• Does the child seem lethargic, depressed and hopeless?

• Has the child asked for help?

• Have you tried to support the child within the class and within the school’s own resources?

• Have you spoken to the child’s parents / carers? What are their views?

• Does the child want additional help?



Local Authority support

• Diversity & Inclusion Team, Emotional and Trauma Support.

Contact: Deirdre McConnell, 0161 223 3158



Other agency support in Manchester:• The Gaddum Centre, 0161 834 6069 www.griefmatters.org.uk

• The Grief Centre: Manchester Area Bereavement Forum, 0161 371 8869www.mabf.org.uk Both agencies offer one to

one support, group work with families, training and

telephone information, support and guidance



Useful websites

www.itsnotyourfault.org.ukA website to support and inform children whose

parents are separating or divorcing

www.childbereavement.org.ukThe website of the Child Bereavement Trust, which

publishes a helpful information pack called Supporting Bereaved Children in School

www.ncb.org.uk/cbnThe National Children’s Bureau’s Child Bereavement Network:

a database or organisations that offer services to bereaved children as well as guidelines for best practice



Useful websites

www.rd4u.org.ukA website for children and young people who have been

bereaved and want news and information designed for them

www.childline.org.ukOffers a chance for children to talk in confidence about

their feelings and emotions

www.winstonswish.org.ukProvides resources for schools and grief support

programmes for children

www.partnershipforchildren.org.ukProvides resources for parents and teachers about how children

cope with bereavement, divorce and separation



‘Death is one of the greatest taboos. It doesn’t square with our worship of youth.’ But the truth, after all, is that

we are all terminally ill. Once we recognise that, we can enjoy the life

we have left.

Elizabeth Kubler Ross, 1982 (from Good grief, by Barbara Ward and Jamie Houghton)



Planning

Consider how you might deliver these sessions and any resources you would need

In your groups, look through the ‘Relationships’ theme and choose activities, for your age group, for the next half term



‘At the beginning we couldn’t see how to get through. Now we

know we can – we laugh, we cry, we find ways to live and

remember.’

A quote from Winston’s Wish



Questions

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Evaluation

Please complete anevaluation sheet

primary social & emotional aspects of learning theme 6: relationships

Documents