preparation for permanency - harmony family...

The National Permanency ConferenceOctober 2017

Julie Flannery, Harmony Family CenterPam Frye, Harmony Family Center

Preparation for Permanency

Content Property of Harmony Family Center

TRANSform …What is it?

TRANSform is a five year demonstration grant led by Harmony Family Center that proposes to build on DCS

progress, to re-invigorate existing systems, and to build cross-system bridges that carry an increased trauma focus

and evidence-supported practice to all systems serving children in the public child wellbeing system.

“Promoting Well-Being and Adoption After Trauma”



Presenter

Presentation Notes

Introduction activity—please say your name and where you are from. Then give 1-2 words or brief phrase that describes adoption from your prespective

*The child’s journey in custody

* What gets “broken apart”, even when we try to provide safety?

* How does each role hold a piece of Wholeness!!


Sense of personal

safety

Attachment relationships

Sense of self

Hope for future

Emotional regulation

Normal development

Ability to trust

TRAUMA FRAGMENTS


*Entry into state custody provides SAFETY, but fragments…

Daily Parenting

Family History & Traditions

Identity

Decision-making

Cutural Heritage

Sibling Relationships


*Emotional Fragmentation…

Love

Anger

LoyaltyConfusion

Grief

Fear


Trauma Informed Care changes the question from, "What's wrong with you?" to

"What happened to you?"

This is exactly what the child wants to know, and is the central issue in both

trauma-informed care and adoption preparation


Child’s Journey to Adoption

All children have the right…

• To understand their personal history

• To have the opportunity to grieve past losses

• To understand that the problems that led to the separation were not their fault

• To develop a positive sense of identity

• To have stability, permanency, a sense of belonging..


Presenter

Presentation Notes

This backdrop symbolizes the depth of assessing “readiness” in a child – the ocean is a beautiful, powerful, deep, eruptive force … as are the factors at play within the child – What does readiness mean to you? Again, how do we break this heavy topic down into more digestible pieces? In Template, page 59 XIII … a different way of thinking about this is: “readiness” is predicated on child’s ability to organize their whole story: what’s happened, identify losses & gains, expresses hopes & fears

Adoption Competency - Preparing Children for Permanency: the 3-5-7 Model

Darla L. Henry

•3 TASKS (Clarification, Integration, Actualization)

•5 Conceptual Questions:

What happened to me? (Loss)Who am I? (Identity)Where am I going? (Attachment)How Will I get there? (Building Relationships)How will I know when I belong? (Claiming)

•7 critical skill elements – Am I safe enough to take this journey?

*7 Critical Elements, beginning at the beginning…

• Engage the child in the process• Listen to the child’s words• Speak the truth• Validate the child and the child’s story• Create a safe space for the child to do the work• It is never to late to go back in time• Acknowledge that pain is part of the process

“If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can’t survive.”Brene Brown

* CLARIFICATION: If I could get an answer to one question about myself and my life, it would be… get the answer to one question about

myself and my life, it would be …* “What happened to me when I got

beat up and people threw stuff at me?” Kenny, 8

* “Why did my parents treat me the way they did?” Sarah, 15

* “Why did they throw me away?” Steve, 12

* “Why did my mom go off and leave me?” Mia, 11

* “In 10 whole years, nobody has been able to take care of me!” Levon, 10

*CLARIFICATION

* Assisting the child to understand what “really” happened to them;

* hearing and reframing child’s view of events, being honest at the child’s developmental level;

* lifting blame from them and placing it where it belongs

* What happened to you? (the trauma question)


*Integration

* Acknowledging the child’s membership and emotional ties to many families, and validating that these families had meaning to the child and the child had meaning to them

* Assisting the child in dealing with loyalty conflicts regarding birth family, foster family, adoptive family

* Honoring all the people a child has loved – and allowing the child to GRIEVE.


*The Blessing: Integrating Love and Loss…


*Actualization

* Visualize, practice, and experience membership in a safe, healing family

* Understand and experience family roles and begin to develop trust in new attachment relationships

* Provide support to foster and adoptive families, so that they can create a “circle of security” for their children and embrace the “whole child”


*Trauma Experience Integration

*Work with children to actively explore, process and integrate [past] experiences, into a coherent and comprehensive understanding of self, in order to enhance their capacity to effectively engage in

present life.

Blaustein and Kinniburgh, Treating Traumatic Stress in Children and Adolescents


Sense of personal safety

Trauma experiences integrated,

through therapy and parenting

Range of emotions from

love to loss acknowledged and expressed

Critical role of birth family

acknowledged and honored

Positive Identity incorporates birth family ,

experiences of belonging,

unique personal characteristics

Learning to trust and

build attachment

relationships


What does the birth parent need?


Birth Parent preparation is very important to the long-term success and the followingmust be completed:

Grief/loss counseling/therapy

Family given opportunity to share family history, photos, mementos, etc.

TPR/Surrender Discussions

Blessing letter/closure visit completed (if appropriate)

Openness plan discussed—what is the plan for the future


* Protective Factors for Adoptive Families

Formal & informal supports

Communicative openness

Positive parenting style

Realistic expectations & preparation

Susan Smith, Center for Adoption & Education, 2013Content Property of Harmony Family Center

*Traveling the circle as a parent


WHAT PARENTS OF HURT CHILDREN REALLY NEED….

• LISTENING WITHOUT JUDGEMENT (I am not to blame for what happened to him but I am trying to be part of the healing

• UNDERSTANDING (my child looks normal on the outside but not on the inside

• RESPECTING MY PARENTING DECISIONS (I really need you to stand beside me rather than behind me

• COMPETENT SUPPORTS (Encourage creativity and hope)


*

• preparation starts the first day of custody• the core components of birth parent preparation, child preparation and adoptive family preparation

must all be completed for long-term success• the value of gathering, documenting and fully understanding the child's past, present and future as it

relates to permanency must never be overlooked or minimized• it is absolutely necessary to engage everyone on the child's team from the first contact so that

understanding, comprehension and acceptance can occur for the family unit to be successful throughout the permanency journey


preparation for permanency - harmony family...

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