the facts:PLUTO WAS DISCOVERED IN 1930 ON FEBRUARY 18TH BY CLYDE W. TOMBAUGH.it was declared king of the planets that same day.

PLUTO WAS THE 9TH PLANET IN OUR S O L A R S Y S T E M B E F O R E B E I N G DECLASSIFIED IN 2006.astronomers and others in the scientific community tried to kill it like a bitch in the street but pluto died a heroic death fighting with its comrades til the very end.

BEFORE BEING DECLASSIFIED, PLUTO WAS THE SMALLEST PLANET IN OUR SOLAR SYSTEM.it was a title pluto was most proud and honored to have. now referred to as a minor planet of average minor planet size, pluto just floats around drunk and disorderly amongst other objects in space of similar, average minor planet size.

THE NAME PLUTO IS DERIVED FROM GREEK MYTHOLOGY BUT IT WAS A YOUNG SCHOOL GIRL FROM OXFORD, ENGLAND NAMED VENETIA BURNEY THAT SUGGESTED IT TO HER GRANDFATHER WHO, WITH OTHERS, HELPED PASS IT ALONG TO THE STATES. unfortunately several civil suits have been filed by the tiny planet for defamation of character, pain and suffering, and other mental and emotional distresses against hollywood and others trying to cash in on pluto's popularity and curious mystique. these suits are still ongoing and may never reach an applicable end.

PLUTO HAS FIVE MOONS: CHARON, NIX, HYDRA, KERBEROS, AND STYX.a mother has yet to be named but rumor has it to be a married woman by the name eurydice. not much else is known but officials claim this scandalous turn of events has nothing to do with pluto's recent declassification.

PLUTO IS LOCATED IN A REGION OF SPACE FAR FROM THE SUN CALLED THE KUIPER BELT. this area is also home to thousands of other small bodies which means pluto is not alone, he is among others like him who have been prematurely dismissed as shit.

a word of advice to educators

In these trying times one must remain vigilant. If you want to educate your students that Pluto is the ninth planet in our solar system then do not be afraid to do so. Don't give in to the pressure and tyrannical rule of society's zealous views of how the universe should be taught.

When assigning children planets to write essays about try to refrain from assigning Pluto, especially now with the state that it is in. Not enough is known about the planet and the child will have a difficult time finding information, most of which will likely have to be revised or recanted if it has not already been done so with the money of hard working tax payers.

During open discussions be thoughtful but honest when addressing questions. It is OK to refer to Pluto's declassification as a grave injustice and/or gross error in judgement. Explain that sometimes mistakes happen due to skewed perspective or irresponsible prioritizing and that sometimes bad men make bad decisions but, just like the sun on a cloudy day, the truth will find a way to shine through.

Be prepared to comfort students as many will become emotional when learning about Pluto and the uncertainty that the knowledge they are gaining could completely cease to exist. This unsettling realization often times causes great anxiety. Fits of rage, uncontrollable crying, frustration, and diarrhea are also not uncommon for students to exhibit and experience during such curriculum.

Above anything else always remember to discourage hateful views and attitudes towards those responsible for taking Pluto out of the classroom. Your job as an educator is to promote awareness and to offer guidance to students intolerant of those who are not of sound and competent mind who, despite their best efforts, ultimately unleash mayhem and disruptive learning capacities.

IT’SSIMPLE

WE KILLTHEEARTH

THANKSFOR READIN’

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{ TWISTIE CEMETARY }

Monica Paige, 2013