[9]January 6, 2012www.kirklandreporter.com

The word stranger is hard to de� ne to very young children, so

begin with non-threatening dialogue about who is a stranger and who is not.

“� e lady in the store was nice, but we didn’t know her so she was a stranger.” “� ose people are good friends of mom and dad’s from out of town, and so they are strang-ers to you, but mom and dad know them so they’re okay.”

We don’t want to destroy a child’s trust in the world as a relatively safe place by scaring them at too early an age.

� e best thing to teach

your child is that they must never go with anyone, strang-er or not, without mom and dad knowing who they are

with. � is takes out de� ning “stranger” as an issue while creating a concrete rule that young children can understand.

Tell your child that if someone is

asking them to go with them, they must always tell their parents or caretaker � rst. If a person tries to get them to go without telling, that’s when they need to get away from that person (it’s okay to bite, scream and kick if someone grabs you that you don’t know and to tell their parent

what’s happening). If a child is grabbed, teach them to yell “Help, help, you’re not my parent!” (bystanders will as-sume the child is just having a tantrum otherwise). � e more commotion the better.

Very young children are not capable of distinguishing who is safe and who is not. You can act out scenarios and talk about strangers, but very young children do not have enough experience to reliably identify a dangerous

situation. Keeping your eye on them

and staying close are the best safety rules. As children get older, “stranger” becomes an understood concept. � e child becomes more emo-tionally resilient and is able to discern situations better. � en you can gradually begin to give the more scary news about strangers and why children need to be careful.

Karen Pettersen is owner of Morning Star School, Inc. Call 425-486-9333; visit morningstarschool.com.

How to talk to children about strangers...today’s parent

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