optimum coaching presence

8/3/2019 Optimum Coaching Presence

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A Good CoachIs One Who Is On A Continuous JourneyOf S elf Development

Dr Suriyakhatun Osman


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'Technique is for a coachwhat a text is for an

actor: they both have

to forget it in order to

be present.' Luc deBelloy

Suriyakhatun Osman 2


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Power in our coachingis in the ability to bepresent - to be able to

meet all that isoccurring withopenness andintelligence: 'thecapacity to meet

experience fully anddirectly withoutfiltering it through anyconceptual or strategicagenda' (Welwood).



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A coach who can bepresent will findtechniques popping

up like old friendsduring sessions,rather then having to

stretch for them.



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Techniques and toolsarise from profound,sustained presence.

We can be taken intothe heart of notknowing with a client -

a fertile, if somewhatunnerving place!

'What do I say/donow?'



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Learning to BE therewith the client(sometimes in

silence), so that theycan learn to bepresent with their

own experience, andfeel it fully, is a greatgift for the client.



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It is a very subtlekind of modellingwhich gifts a client

contact with theirinner life andconsequently,

independence fromthe coach'sperceptions.



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[ Integrate : SQ + EQ + IQ + PQ = True Knowledge]Stephan R. Covey

Physical Intelligence: Wise nutrition, Consistence balanceexercises Proper rest, relaxation, stress management and

preventing. Mental intelligent: Continuous, systematic, disciplined study

and education Cultivation of self awareness, learning byteaching and doing.

Emotional intelligent: Self awareness, Personal motivation, Self

regulation, Empathy, Social skill. Spiritual Intelligence: Integrity ( Character building ) ,Meaning (

Purpose of life ),Voice( Self Enlightenment and motivate toother ) .



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' The business of who I am in life, in the coachingmoment, has a major impact on how I amcoaching in that moment.

The following questions are central when weaddress notions of EQ.

What is the range of my own life experience?

How connected and comfortable am I with my innerworld?

Have I sufficient confidence to meet all clientsituations with truth, confidence and grace?

How do I relate to glitches in clients' personalitiesand behaviour?



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How do I relate to my own fears and other strongfeelings which can arise in coaching?

How much/little am I aware of the energeticexchange between myself and clients?

Can I respond to what I know about this?

Am I working at a level which is consistent withwho I am - or am I edging beyond my personal

limits? Can I hold Self and Other in the sameframe of perception/ thought/imagination as Ispeak with clients?



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This is a major source ofstrength and insight inCoaching Presence.

When we nurture our SQ,we can be present to theheights and depths ofhuman life.

We are also opening thepossibility of workingtransformatively withclients


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Developing SQ isbecoming a keyfeature of training as

the coachingprofession matures.



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At this level we are enabling ourclients to touch the heart of theirlives

People benefit from coachingconversations on soul-making that

which reconnects us with the imaginative

possibility in our natures

'turns events into experiences',

helps us to align with emergent

potential, makes positive use of adversity

establishes awareness of fieldconsciousness.


To 'have' SQ., is to be working at a soul level


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'The soul is dyed thecolour of itsthoughts. Think only

those things that arein line with yourprinciples and can

bear the light of day.



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The content of

your character is

your choice. Dayby day, what youdo is who you

become.



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Your integrity is

your destiny. - it is

the light thatguides your

way.'Heraclitus


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Sometimes it is thedistraction of compulsivethinking which takes usaway from the present and

out of Presence.

There are many EnergyManagement tools whichhelp to bring us into the

NOW, into Presence. A basic guide is that the

best way to get out of yourmind is to get into the body.



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Has the effect of slowingyou down, clearing your

mind and enabling you tobe fully present in anysituation.

It is particularly useful when

working with clients



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Whether you are walking or sitting, become

aware of where the 'ground' touches your body -through the soles of your feet, the back of your

legs and bum, and your back.

Bring all of your attention to that physical

sensation for a moment. Feel the ground holding you up.


Grounding.


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Now bring all your attention and awarenesscloser to home to the trunk of your body.

Be in the centre of your body let the trunk straighten and feel its strength.



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Finally, bring your awareness to your breath. Let your breath breathe you.

Notice the rise and fall of your chest or the flow

of air as it enters and exits your nose. Ride on the breath.

Practise this sequence slowly and regularlyuntil you are able to use it effectively in a few

seconds. Use it in your life and before and during

coaching sessions.



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Maintainingrapport is an

ongoing task and anecessary condition

if coaching,regardless of its

orientation, is likelyto be successful.



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Maintain an appreciation of the clients individuality Stay open to your own moment-to-moment experience as you

interact with this unique person

Being willing to engage the client in terms of this flow ofexperience.

Use any negative responses within yourself as informationabout the clients problem (while remaining open to thepossibility that these reactions might also provide information

about you).

Practice "high positive regard" of the other as your default

position



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Having rapport asthe foundation for

any relationship

means that whenthere are toughissues to discuss,

you can more

easily findsolutions and moveon.



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The places and people you

spend time with

The way you look, sound,and behave

The skills you have learned The values that you live by

Your beliefs

Your purpose in life

Being yourself



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Take a genuine interest in getting to know what'simportant to the other person. Start to understand themrather than expecting them to understand you first.

Pick up on the key words, favourite phrases and way ofspeaking that someone uses and build these subtly intoyour own conversation.

Notice how someone likes to handle information. Do theylike lots of details or just the big picture? As you speak,feed back information in this same portion size.



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Breathe in unison with them.

Look out for the other person's intention theirunderlying aim rather than what they do or say. They

may not always get it right, but expect their heart to lie inthe right place.

Adopt a similar stance to them in terms of your bodylanguage, gestures, voice tone and speed.

Respect the other person's time, energy, favourite peopleand money. They will be important resources for them.



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Research shows your impact depends

on three factors

how you look -55 percent body language,

how you sound -38per cent quality ofthe voice

and what you say -7per cent actualwords spoken



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Pacing people -like running

alongside a train. In order to jump on a moving

train you would have to gatherspeed by racing alongside it

until you were moving at thesame speed before you couldjump on.

In order to influence themwith your point of view, pacethem first. ie:

really listening to them, fully acknowledging them,

truly understanding wherethey have come from andbe patient about it.


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