now what? facing learning disabilities and attention deficit disorder

8/14/2019 Now What? Facing Learning Disabilities and Attention Deficit Disorder

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The

T.O.L.D.Try On Learning Disabilities

Facing Learning Disabilities &

Attention Deficit Disorder

By Barbara Allison R.N. and Mary-Jane Hardie

The

T.O.L.D. Workshop Society

is a non-profit, volunteer organization, working through public

awareness to support, educate and advocate for individuals and families

affected by learning disabilities and/or attention

deficit hyperactivity disorder. April 1998

Now

What?

T.O.L.D. Workshop Now What? Revised 2010


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This book is dedicated to

Audrey Farnden

who made a differencewith

her energy, passion

and belief

in the power of parents

helping parents.


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Table of Contents

Page

About This Guide Book 1

Now What? A Note To Parents 2

If You Are Worried 6

Learning Disabilities (LD) 8

Seeking Help LD 9

Receiving the Results 11

Frequently Asked Questions 13

Attention Deficit Disorder (ADHD) 16

Seeking Help ADHD 17

Receiving the Diagnosis 19

Frequently Asked Questions 21

Medication 25

FAQ About Medication 27

Where to Begin The Acceptance Process 29

What is Advocacy? 30

Keep A File 31

Parent / Teacher Meetings 36



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Table of Contents Continued

Page

The Informal Parent / Teacher Meeting 37

The Formal Parent / Teacher Meeting 38

The Teacher Requested Meeting 39

Attending the Meeting 40

Advocating in the Education System 42

Example Letter # 1 43



Responsibilities 48

The District Ladder 49

Final Thoughts 50

References 52

Creative Commons

Checklist and Strategy Guide by TOLD Workshop is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-

Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 2.5 Canada License.

Based on a work at toldworkshop.wordpress.com.



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About This Book

This book is written by parents for parents. We offer our experience and

emotions to others who may find themselves in similar situations. Finding help

from professionals with current knowledge about learning disabilities and

attention deficit disorder was difficult for us and the struggle to keep our

children from further setbacks brought us to this point. We hope that our

experience will help other parents through the challenges ahead.

In this book we have used he instead of she. This was only done to simplify

the writing and because we are both the mothers of sons. We are aware that

just as many girls may be affected by learning disabilities and/or ADHD,

although higher numbers of boys are diagnosed due to their more obvious

characteristics. Girls tend to have more subtle characteristics but in no way

does this mean that their challenges are any less.

For more on specific characteristics and strategies for learning disabilities and

attention deficit disorder, we offer information in the T.O.L.D. Workshop

Checklist and Strategy Guide.

Creative Commons

Checklist and Strategy Guide by TOLD Workshop is licensed under a Creative Commons

Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 2.5 Canada License.

Based on a work at toldworkshop.wordpress.com.

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Now What?

A Note To Parents

If it is unexpected, or even if we suspect, it is still often a shock to

be told our child is dealing with learning disabilities (LD) and/or

attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). What does this

mean? What do we do? So many questions race through our

minds. There can be an overwhelming feeling about the future.

Now What?

Realize that you cant do everything at once. To address the areas

where your child will need help, you may have to prioritize and work

at this process slowly. To suddenly implement strategies, changes,tutors, therapies, etc. will quickly burn you out, possible shut down

your child or bring added upheaval to the family.

Begin the process by learning as much as possible LD or ADHD.

As a place to start, the last chapter of this book will give you

suggestions of books and DVDs. It is great to first get an overall,

big picture of LD or ADHD and then begin to narrow down to the

information that applies to your child.

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A Note To Parents Continued

Each of our children bring their own personality and combination of

learning disabilities or attention deficit disorder to the picture. We

need to see how our child fits in that picture. Learning as much as

possible about LD and ADHD will also help to work through the

emotions parents experience. As parents, we will be the one

constant in our childrens lives professionals will come and go.

KNOWLEDGE is the very best tool we can have to address LD or

ADHD.

Not only are books, DVDs and the internet excellent resources to

gain knowledge, but other parents can be invaluable. Exchanging

information, experiences, frustrations and humour are in many ways

healing as well as educational.

Children with LD or ADHD will face many challenges and defeats in

their lives. A knowledgeable parent can be instrumental in keeping

their child on a constructive path. Our children need someone to

fight for them, believe in them and love them unconditionally. This

is so much easier when we understand. The non-visible aspect of

LD or ADHD can make it difficult to remember the challenges theyface. If we understand, as best we can, it is often easier to remain

calm, patient and accepting.

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Your child need awareness and knowledge too. Hell need to

understand why he requires strategies* or accommodations* and

hell have to learn how to go about getting them. This too, is a

process better done slowly. The rate at which a child will gain this

knowledge and understanding will depend upon his acceptance and

willingness. At times this may be a challenge in itself. Hang in

there! It is a lifelong necessity.

At home as well as at school, it is often better to address only one

or two areas at a time. If mornings are chaotic, you may choose

tasks of personal grooming and organization of school books: work

on those areas until they run smoothly before adding a new task. If

this means that for a while mom or dad make the bed then, so be

it.

It often takes several tries to find a strategy that works and different

stages in a childs life may require a change in the strategy.

Children will often develop their own strategies and as parents we

need to watch, learn and guide them on the best use of that

strategy. We must also help others to see the strategy as useful.

For example: A child who places his head down on his desk while

the teacher is reading a story or giving lengthy verbal instruction

may be seen by the teacher as tired or not paying attention.

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This child, in fact, may be placing his head on the desk as a

strategy to block out visual distractions so that he can concentrate

better on the verbal instructions or story.

For both parent and child, a support system can have tremendous

value. If a friend, grandparent or other relative is willing to learn

about LD or ADHD and spend time with the child, there will be

benefits for both child and parent.

As you set out to acquire knowledge and understanding about your

child, we hope you will be able to use much of the information in this

book. You may not always be successful in helping achieve goals

for your child but through the act of trying, you will show your child

that you believe in him.

5


***Strategy***A planned intervention done to help one with areas of challenge.

For example: If your child loses track of time he could use a watch

with an alarm as a reminder.

*** Accommodation***An alteration to ones environment to help with areas of challenge.

For example: Having a quiet place and extra time to wrote tests.


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Revised 1998, 1999, 2009

If You Are Worried

N Document

Write down observations and feelings about your concerns. This will beuseful information if you decide to seek diagnosis from a physician or

psychologist. It will also help you have a clearer picture of your childsstrengths, weaknesses and behavioural patterns.

F Talk

Talk to your childs teacher about your concerns. Find out if yourconcerns are realistic or shared.

Remember that children will often hold it together at school and releasetheir true feelings (frustration, anger helplessness, etc.) at home where

they are in a safe environment free from the criticism and observation

of their peers.

Talk to your family physician. Does your child need a physical

examination, an eye or hearing test? Doing this will help rule out other

conditions which may be affecting your child.

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If You Are Worried Continued

Listen

Listen to what your child tells you.For example: If there are a lot of tears over school work and yourchild tells you the work is too hard, maybe it is.

Feel

Listen to your gut feelings. If you continue to feel that somethingis wrong despite reassurances from others, then dont give up.Find someone who will listen and take your concerns seriously.

Learn

Learn everything you can about learning disabilities or attentiondeficit disorder.

Attend programs, workshops and conferences offered in yourcommunity. Research information on the internet.

Local libraries and bookstores also carry excellent books and DVDson these subjects. Your local Learning Disabilities Association mayhave a resource library.

7

Remember,you know your child best!



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Seeking Help

If you Suspect Learning Disabilities (LD)

If you are concerned your child may have learning disabilities, a

psychoeducational assessment needs to be done by a registered

psychologist. This assessment will determine areas of strength as

well as well as the severity in areas of challenge.

In many school systems, a psychoeducational assessment is often

necessary before strategies and accommodations are implemented.

It is important an assessment be done as soon as possible if it

appears that strategies and accommodations are necessary to help

meet your childs needs.

The psychoeducational assessment should consist of extensive

history taking and a variety of tests to assess your childs verbal and

nonverbal performance in different areas.

This assessment can be done by the school registered psychologist

or by a private registered psychologist of your choice.

If done through the school psychologist, waiting lists are often

lengthy. If done privately, a cost is involved.

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Seeking Help (LD) Continued

If you proceed with an assessment, these are some questions you maywant to as the psychologist:

Is this testing for learning disabilities?

What can I expect to find out from this testing? Will I receive an explanation and a written report?

What other sources of information are considered in the

assessment?For example: prenatal history, infant and child development,report cards, family history, pertinent medical information

Will my childs school be involved?

How long will testing take?

When can I expect the results?

How much will it cost?

A psychoeducational assessment should take approximately6 or more hours and is usually done over a couple of sessions.

Educational testing is often done by a resource room teacheror learning assistance teacher to determine grade level for aspecific subject.

10

Educational testing is not a psychoeducational assessment.



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Receiving the Results

Facing Learning Disabilities

It is important for the psychoeducational assessment to be explained to

you in detail with plain language. The assessment results can be

overwhelming and a great source of confusion. This can be a very

emotional time.

It is often helpful to take notes as you may be able to remember the

information better if it is in your own words.

Make sure you receive your own copy of the assessment and be sure

that any questions you ask are answered to your satisfaction.

Each child will have his own unique strengths as well as his own

challenges.

You may want to ask:

i In what area is my child having the most difficulty?

i In what areas are my childs strengths?

i What are some strategies that can be put in place to help my

child at home and school

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Receiving the Results (LD) Continued

i What are some strategies the teachers and support staff can

put in place at school?

i How can my child use his strengths to help with his areas of

challenge?

i How do these specific difficulties show up at home?

For example: Visual-Motor Integration difficulties can be

displayed by poor pencil skills or difficulty handling a knife

and fork.

After receiving the assessment results, parents often become

upset and overwhelmed.

12


Knowledge and understandingare the most important

aspects of addressing learning disabilities.

A psychoeducational assessment

is only one of the tools in this process.


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Frequently Asked Questions

About Learning Disabilities

Q:What is a learning disability?

A: A learning disability is a non-visible neurological disability

which can affect specific areas of a persons life. These areas

can include reading, writing, speaking, understanding spokenlanguage, mathematics, memory, reasoning, coordination and

social skills. People who have learning disabilities have the

potential for average or above average intelligence and often

have areas of considerable strength.

______________________

Q: Do people with learning disabilities have problems in all

these areas?

A: It is common for learning disabilities to appear in combination.

It is less common to have learning disabilities in all areas or

to have only one learning disability.

_______________________

Q: How common are learning disabilities?

A: It is estimated that approximately 10% of the population have

learning disabilities.

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Frequently Asked Questions About LD Continued

Q: How do you find out if you have a learning disability?

A: Diagnosis is made by a registered psychologist through a

Psycho-educational assessment ( see page 9). This assessment

should show areas of strength as well as areas of difficulty.

_____________________

Q: Are there degrees to which a person can have learning

disabilities?

A: Yes. A psycho-educational assessment will show the degree to

which a learning disability exists. Learning disabilities can be

mild, moderate of severe. It is not always the severity that

presents the greatest challenge. Occasionally, certaincombinations of learning disabilities present greater challenges.

____________________

Q: What causes learning disabilities?

A: The exact cause of learning disabilities is unknown, however,

there is a genetic tendency for learning disabilities to run in

families. Illness or trauma in infancy may also present learning

disabilities.

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Frequently Asked Questions About LD Continued

Q: Can you outgrow a learning disability?

A: You do not outgrow a learning disability. Adults may say they had

learning disabilities as a kid but do not have them any more. After

leaving school, adults can choose to avoid those tasks which

present a challenge to them. They may also have learned

strategies and techniques for dealing with those areas of challenge.It therefore may seem that they no longer have learning disabilities.

______________

Q: Do more boys than girls have learning disabilities?

A: More boys are diagnosed yet there may be just as many girls who

have learning disabilities. The behaviour that often results from

learning disabilities is less obvious for girls.

15

If we believe in our children,

they in turn,will believe in themselves.



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16


Now

What?

Seeking HelpReceiving The DiagnosisFAQ About ADHD Stimulant Medication FAQ About Medication



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Seeking Help

If you suspect Attention Deficit Disorder

If you are concerned about ADHD, talk to your family physician.

Your doctor may want to refer your child to a specialist a

pediatrician or psychiatrist.

Many parents feel that having their child see a psychiatrist is

unnecessary. However, psychiatrists are often very knowledgeable

about ADHD and its impact on the family.

There is no test for ADHD.

The diagnosis for ADHD is done by the doctor through extensive

history taking.

Some questions that you may be asked:

Were there any difficulties with the pregnancy or birth?

When did your child first walk, talk, etc.?

Did your child have any major illnesses and/or accidents?

Does your child seem to be accident prone?

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Seeking Help ADHD Continued

Is there a family history of any major illnesses?For example: diabetes, thyroid problems, etc.

How well does your child get along with his peers group?

Does he have a lot of friends or does he tend to play alone?

Does your child have difficulty following instructions?

Does your child have any hobbies?

Has anyone in the family had difficulty with school, work orrelationships?

Your and your childs teacher may each be asked to fill out a

questionnaire about your child.

Your doctor may want to see past report cards. Comments on report

cards are often informative.

Often, children who have ADHD may also have learning disabilities whether mild, moderate or severe. Your physician may want to see the

psycho-educational test results if you have had an assessment done.

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Receiving the Diagnosis


As the diagnosis for ADHD is made by a physician through

extensive history taking, it may be necessary for you to make a

number of visits to the doctor before a diagnosis is reached

(see page 17).

Often children with ADHD are very calm and focused when they

visit the doctor. Therefore, the diagnosis for ADHD should not be

made by only observing the child during a brief office visit. Children

with ADHD frequently have lengthy periods of intense concentration

usually when they are doing something they like, something they

are good at or when the situation is novel.

The doctor needs to explain attention deficit disorder to you and

why they feel that your child may or may not have it. It is also

important for other medical conditions to be ruled out.

Suggestions of what you can do to help, where you can go to get

more information and what needs to be done at school should beincluded.

Be sure to ask questions.

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Receiving the Diagnosis for ADHD Continued

Be cautious of anyone purporting to have tests to determine a

diagnosis for ADHD. Any tests that may be given should only be a

part of the information gathering process. A test does not

determine the diagnosis.

If you are feeling uncomfortable with the diagnosis or the diagnostic

process, it may be necessary to seek another opinion.

20


Follow

Your gut feelings

You know

your child best!


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Receiving the Diagnosis for ADHD Continued

Be cautious of anyone purporting to have tests to determine a

diagnosis for ADHD. Any tests that may be given should only be a

part of the information gathering process. A test does not

determine the diagnosis.

If you are feeling uncomfortable with the diagnosis or the diagnostic

process, it may be necessary to seek another opinion.

20


Follow

Your gut feelings

You know

your child best!


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Frequently Asked Questions

About ADHD

Q: What is ADHD?

A: Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a neurological

condition which affects the chemicals of the nervous system that

are responsible for the transmission of nerve impulses to and

from the brain. (neurotransmitters). These chemicals are not

present at the correct levels and therefore interrupt the normal

process. One area of the brain that seems to be affected is the

frontal lobe ( the impulse control centre).

____________________

Q: What are the characteristics of someone with ADHD?

A: The term attention deficit hyperactivity disorder is somewhat

deceptive. A more appropriate name might be attention variability

disorder.

There are three predominant types of ADHD.

1. The Inattentive Type: The person has difficulty paying attention

to an activity for an appropriatelength of time.

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Frequently Asked Questions About ADHD Continued

For Example: They may be intensely focused on an activity but

lose interest after a short period or they may be playing attention to

other activities rather than the desired one.

2.Impulsive/ Hyperactive Type:

Impulsivity: The person has difficulty with self control beyond what

is expected for his or her age.

For Example: They may have great difficulty waiting their turn,

frequently interrupt others or act on desires without thinking about

consequences first.

Hyperactivity: The person moves and/or talks too much or toofast. It can also be demonstrated by feelings of restlessness. In a

few people the activity imbalance appears as hypoactivity, where

the person moves and talks at a slower speed than others.

Hyperactivity does not determine the diagnosis.

3. Combined Type: The person displays a variety of

characteristics of inattention, impulsivity and hyperactivity.

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Frequently Asked Question About ADHD Continued

Q: Doesnt everyone experience impulsivity and distractibility?

A: Yes, these are all normal human characteristics. The difference

is people with ADHD experience them with greater intensity,

frequency and duration. To the point where their every day life

is affected and problems are presented.

____________________

Q: What causes ADHD?

A: No one really knows what causes ADHD. Often more than one

family member has ADHD which suggests a genetic link. While

no one gene has been found, many researchers feel that a

combination of genes may be responsible. ADHD symptoms

could also result from illness or trauma during childhood.

____________________

Q: How common is ADHD and why do more boys have it?

A: Statistics show that approximately 5 - 7% of the population has

ADHD. Prior to 1994, 8 times as many boys than girls were

diagnosed with ADHD. It is now believed that just as many girls

ash boys have ADHD but symptoms for girls tend to be more

subtle and difficult to identify.

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Frequently Asked Questions ADHD Continued

Q: Some days my son who has ADHD is extremely impulsive

and distractible and other days hes not. Why is this?

A: It is very common for symptoms of ADHD to come and go.

The only thing consistent with someone who has ADHD is that

they are consistently inconsistent. There are many other factors

which can affect the severity and frequency of symptoms. For

example: stress, diet exercise, environment, learning disabilities.

____________________

Q: My son gets good grades at school but has great difficulty

with his social life and getting along with others. Could he

still have ADHD?

A: Yes. Not all people with ADHD will have difficulty with school

work. If you have concerns, a physician needs to be consulted

for a correct diagnosis.

____________________

Q: Can someone have dyslexia as well as ADHD?

A: Yes. It is common for people with ADHD to also have learning

disabilities. LD is often overlooked because of the behaviour

associated with ADHD. When the LD is addressed, the symptoms

of ADHD often become less severe.

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Medication

Stimulant medication (eg. Ritalin) is commonly prescribed for

children with ADHD. Antidepressants can also be prescribed to treat

ADHD.

Medication for children with ADHD is not always necessary and insome cases is not always effective. If you and your doctor feel that

medication is appropriate, then it should not be the only form of

treatment. Parents need to assess lifestyle and put structure,

alterations and strategies in place which help with those areas of

challenge. Many times when the appropriate strategies and lifestyle

changes are made, the need for medication diminishes.

Learning disabilities may also be present and can be overlooked

because of the behaviour displayed. Once learning disabilities are

addressed, the need for medication may also decrease.

If your doctor feels that medication is necessary to help treat your

child, be sure to ask what the medication will and will not do for your

child. Inquire about side effects and what you can do to help evaluate

the effectiveness of the medication.

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Medication Continued

Your doctor will want to follow up after prescribing medication for your

child. This is done to evaluate the effectiveness of the medication

and to make sure your child is responding to the medication

appropriately. Dosage for stimulant medication varies from child to

child so your doctor will want to ensure that your child is receiving

the correct dosage.

26


Remember

Medication plays only one part in thetreatment

for some people with ADHD.

Lifestyle alterations, strategies andeducation on the part of all those

involved with a personwith ADHD

is vital.


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Frequently Asked QuestionsAbout Medication

Q: Why would you give a stimulant to someone who is already

hyperactive? Wont this make them worse?

A: ADHD is a neurological condition in which areas of the brain

responsible for impulse control are sluggish. This impaired

control results in behaviour (distractibility and/or impulsivity

with/without hyperactivity) which is inappropriate for the persons

age. Stimulant medication stimulates the sluggish control

centre so the person is better able to regulate their behaviour.

____________________

Q: If stimulant medication doesnt work, does it mean that you

dont have ADHD?

A: Stimulant medication does not always help everyone. However, if

it doesnt seem to help, it does not mean that your dont have

ADHD. Adjustments to the dosage or a different medication maybe necessary.

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Frequently Asked Questions About Medication Continued

Q: Does medication cure ADHD?

A: Medication does not cure ADHD. It may help certain symptoms

and/or improve behaviour but it does not make ADHD go away.

With the inconsistent nature of ADHD, symptoms may seem to

come and go. There are many environmental factors that also

affect symptoms of ADHD such as stress, diet illness, lack of

sleep, etc.

____________________

Q: Does stimulant medication drug the child?

A: Stimulant medication does not drug the child or make

them sedated. If a child appears sluggish, they are most likely

on the wrong dose of medication. Your doctor should be

consulted to correct the dosage. Each child is unique and a

correct dose for one is not necessarily the correct does for

another.

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Where to Begin

The Acceptance Process

Once you receive the assessment or diagnosis and realize that your

child faces the challenges of learning disabilities and/or attention deficit

disorder, it is important to be aware that this may be a very emotional

time for you and your family.

You may experience emotions such as denial, anger, frustration,

sadness, isolation, disappointment or GUILT!

It is not uncommon to retreat from acceptance back to a level such as

denial or anger when your child takes on new challenges or reaches

different stages.

For example: adolescence

It is helpful to remember that both parents may not go through this

process with the same emotions at the same time.

For example: Mom may feel guilt while Dad is in denial.

It is important to talk openly about your feelings with your spouse,

partner, friend or support group.

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If your child has attended preschool, swimming lessons or even had

a hair cut your have advocated for themYou spoke on their behalf

while seeking their best interest.

As parents of children with learning disabilities and/or attention

deficit disorder, advocating for our children becomes a necessity

during their school years.

We have to advocacy challenges. First we must attempt to access

what is required to best address our childs needs. Secondly we will

have to educate our child to advocate for himself. This is a

necessary life skill.

We must look at professionals as partners and remember that we

are part of the team. It is important to not only intervene when there

is a difficulty but to appreciate the many positives and the value

others have in our childrens lives.

30


What is Advocacy?

Fairness doesnt mean that everyone getsthe same.

Fairness means everyone gets what he or sheneeds.

Richard Lavoie


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A important tool for parents to have is a file with past and up to date

information on their child. A three ring binder works well. When

talking to doctors, teachers, psychologists and other professionals,

it is often helpful to have your childs binder with you for easy

access to information they may request.

The following is a suggestion list of items you may want to

keep in your childs file.

A Photograph

34 A photograph of your child will make it much more personal

when you are advocating. Update the photograph each year.

It is fun to watch your child grow over the years.

Medical Information

When organizing your file consider some of these questions:

Z Is there a family history of illness or any conditions?

Z Does your child have a history of illness or any conditions?

Z Is there a family history of allergies?

Z Does your child have allergies

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Keep A File On Your child


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Keep A file Continued

Z Did your child suffer from frequent ear infections?

Z Has your child had any major injuries?

For example: head injury from a fall or car accident

if so, to what extent?

Z Is your child on any medications?

Z Do your frequently need to take your child to the doctor?

It is common for children with LD/ADHD to have recurring

headaches, stomach aches, problems with eating and sleeping.

These are often signs of stress and could be some of the early

symptoms that something may be wrong. Other conditions also

need to be ruled out.

Prenatal Information( if known)

o It is important to write down a brief description about the pregnancy

and delivery.

oWere there any complications or was everything routine?

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Keep A File Continued

Infant Development

Did your child suffer from colic as an infant?

Did your child have difficulty with eating or sleeping routines?Was your child an extremely easy baby?

For example: ate and slept well and rarely fussed

Was your child an extremely fussy baby?For example: overly sensitive to sounds, light, activity, etc.

When did your child learn to sit up, crawl, walk, talk, etc.? Did you fell that your child developed normally compared with other

children the same age?

Social Development

Did your child attend preschool?Did they participate in activities?Does your child worry more than other children?Has your child attended any clubs? Brownies or CubsHas your child taken any lessons or played any sports?

Were these good experiences for your child?

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Does your child have any special interests?

How does your child fit into a group situation?

Does your child often choose to play alone?

Schools

List the schools attended with the name of each grade teacherand a brief summary of your childs year.

Keep a copy of your childs report cards from each year.

Keep samples of your childs work from each year.

If your child attended learning assistance, speech therapy or

occupational therapy, keep a record of comments and strategies.

What are your childs likes and dislikes about school?

Assessments, Reports and Tests

Make sure you have a copy of your childs psycho-educational

assessment results and a list of the recommendations.

Include any other testing that your child may have had done.

Keep a copy and a history of hearing and vision checks.

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Correspondence

NInclude copies of all letters that your send and receive on behalf

of your child.

NKeep notes of all meetings, discussions and phone calls

include dates, names of those attending, information on

what was said and what follow-up was required.

Other Information

NKeep track of expenses and all receipts tutoring, medical

treatments, psychoeducational testing, counseling, therapies,

medications, etc. (You never know when they may be helpful.)

NInclude any other information useful for an overall picture of

your child. With the file you wont have to trust your memory

and much of this information is helpful to professionals when

they assess your child.

35

Someday your childs file may make a great keepsake!



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Parent / Teacher Meetings

Work As A Team

Parent / Teacher meetings are an extremely important part of

advocating for your son or daughter. When home and school work

together with consistency and open communication, the results

will be much more effective.

Many times, parents feel uncomfortable in a school situation,

especially if their experience at school was negative. Often, parents

are afraid they will hear upsetting comments about their child

especially if the child seems to be struggling with schoolwork.

These are normal feelings and most parents will admit that

parent / teacher meetings produce some anxiety.

Understanding your own feelings about school before you go to

a parent / teacher meeting may be helpful. To be an effective

advocate for your child, work with your childs teacher/s and

support staff to form a positive team approach.

36


Focus on what is best for your child!


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Requesting An Informal Parent / Teacher Meeting

A request for an informal meeting with your childs teacher is usually

done in person.

If you are dropping your child off at school you may want to request

10 minutes of their time after school. As if that is an appropriate

time for them.

Example:

Would it be possible to chat with you after school today

for about 10 minutes or would another time be better for you?

I have a question about Johns math.

Example:

Could I chat with you for 5 minutes right now or would

another time be better? I have a question concerning

Johns reading.

Make sure you take only the time requested. If you ask for 10 minutes,

take only 10 minutes. If you are finding that you may need more time,

set up a more formal meeting at a date convenient to you and the

teacher.

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Requesting A Formal Parent / Teacher Meeting

When requesting a formal meeting, it is best to contact the school

and make an appointment.

You may have to wait until the teacher can return your call in order to

set the date and time. This will ensure the meeting will not be rushed

for everyone in attendance.

If you run into difficulty you may want to ask the principal to help

arrange the meeting. This can be done with a phone call or you

could send a note or letter to the teacher with a copy to the principal.

When making the appointment, be sure to let the teacher know the

length of the meeting and some idea of what your wish to discuss. If

necessary, the teacher can come prepared with the appropriateinformation.

You may want to request others attend the meeting.

For example: learning assistance teacher, speech therapist,

principal etc.

You may want to bring others to the meeting.

For example: spouse / partner, social worker, youth worker, etc.

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The Teacher Requested Meeting

There are times when the teacher requests a meeting. This can be

unnerving particularly if the meeting was not anticipated.

Some Questions you may want to ask are:

j How long will you need?

j Who else will be attending?

j What is it about? You do not want to worry unnecessarily.

(The teacher may just want you to help with a class project!)

j If you need more time to prepare questions or gather

information, ask to set up a meeting at a more convenient

time.

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Attending The Meeting

When attending a parent / teacher meeting it is important to be

prepared.

Some this you may want to remember are:

Be on time!Take your childs binder with you. All your childs information

will be easily accessible. Even if you dont need it you will

look like you came prepared.

Prepare a list of questions. It is often difficult to rememberquestions when you are at the meeting.

Take a list of point you want to make.

Go prepared with a pen and paper. Make notes of points youwant to remember or suggestions the teacher offers you.

It is permissible to take someone along to take notes for you.

Inform the school ahead of time.

Listen to what the teacher has to say.

Stay calm even if you find you are becoming emotional.

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Attending The Meeting Continued

Ask what you can do at home to help with your childs schooling.

Clarify any requests the teacher may ask of you.

For example:

So you would like me to read to my son every night

for 20 minutes?

Follow up at the next meet with feedback.

Be sure to include positive statements about your childs

schooling.

For example:

John really enjoyed the unit on spiders this fall.

Remember your dress and personal grooming sends amessage that the meeting and your child are important.

If another meeting is necessary, set the date and write it down. Be sure to thank the teacher and any others at the end of the

meeting.

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The education system can present challenges. Many parents at

some point may meet with obstacles. It is important to know the

process when advocating for your child. In each school district,

there will be a procedure which must be followed. It is important to

exhaust all efforts of resolution at each level before seeking help at

the next level. The two most important levels are at the school level

with the teacher and the principal.

The School

T Take your concerns to the teacher and try to work in a positive

way to resolve it.

T Be as calm and clear as possible and go with information to

back up your concern.

T Make notes of all meetings and phone conversations which

include date and time. Dont trust your memory.

T If resolution is becoming difficult, put your concern in writing

and send a copy to the principal.

See: Advocating at The School Level Example #1 next page.

42


Advocating In The Education System


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Advocating In the Education System Continued

The School Level - Example # 1

43


Dear Classroom Teacher:

I would like to thank you for the time and effort you have

put I trying to help my son John with his classroom work. I

can understand how challenging he is when you have many

other students to teach.

As you know, I am concerned that John may have a

learning problem and I would like to discuss further options

available to help meet my his needs at school. I feel that a

meeting with you, Ms. Principal, and ourselves might help

the situation. I will contact the school to set up an

appointment so that we may all agree upon a convenient

time. Thank you.

Yours truly,

Mrs. M. Concerned

cc Ms. Principal


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Advocating in the Education SystemThe School Continued

If your concerns are still not resolved, request a meeting with

the principal.

Take a list of questions or points you wish to make.

Take notes of important points you want to remember.

Write a follow-up letter to the principalThis will help clarify points and avoid misunderstandings.

Include interventions and timelines agreed upon by both the

school and the parents.

See: Advocating at the School Level Example # 2 next page.

Remember:

It is important you make all efforts to resolve your concerns at the

school level. In some situations however, you may need to continue

the advocacy process at the district level.

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The School Level - Example # 2

45


Dear Ms. Principal:

Thank you for meeting with my husband and myself on

February 12, 2010.

As you know, we have had concerns for the past six months as

our son John has been struggling with his school work. We are

worried that he may have learning disabilities.

It is our understanding that from now on his classroom work will

be altered and that you will arrange for him to be seen within the

month by the school psychologist for psycho-educational testing.

We have agreed to have his vision and hearing checked and

take him to his family doctor for a check-up. We will also phone to

arrange another meeting at the end of the month as suggested.It is reassuring to know that there is now a plan of action and

we look forward to working with Johns teacher and the school to

best meet Johns needs. Thank you.

Yours truly,

Mrs. M. Concerned


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Advocating in the Education System Continued

The District Level

Send a letter to the principal stating your continued concerns

and what result you expect.

Send a copy of this letter to the appropriate person at the

district level.

See: Advocating at the District Level Example # 3 next page.

Make sure that the principal is aware that a copy is being sent.

If you receive an unsatisfactory or no reply, direct yourfollowing letter to the person who is next on the ladder.

Be sure to save copies of all letter that you send and receiveas well as documentation of all conversations in your file.

If you have not documented your attempts to rectify the

situation at the school level, the district personnel may

not address your concerns and could send you back to do so.

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The District Level - Example # 3

47


Dear Ms. Principal:

This school year is rapidly coming to an end and my son

John has still not had his psycho-educational testing done.

As you stated at our meeting of February 12, 2010, our son

would receive this testing within a month. It is now May.

Our sons school work has not been altered as his

teacher is awaiting the test results. Johns self esteem is

rapidly plummeting and he is now asking to stay at home.

He has had a complete physical examination by his doctor

and his hearing and vision have also been checked. All

results are normal and copies have been submitted for his

file.I expect the psycho-educational assessment will be done

by the district psychologist within the next two weeks. I look

forward to hearing from you with the exact date.

Sincerely,

Mrs. M. Concerned

cc Coordinator of Special Education


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48

When advocating for your child, it

is important to understand:

- the jobs and responsibilities of

others who are helping to meet

the needs of your child

- the responsibilities you have in

working with these people.



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Advocating in the Education System Continued

The District LadderMake sure you know the name and title of the appropriateperson at the next level. Always have a clear understandingof what the problem is and what solution you would like tosee.

The District Ladder

For

Advocacy

49


Principal

Teacher

DistrictCoordinator

AssistantSuperintendent

Superintendent


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Success is vital in the life of a child with learning disabilities

or attention deficit disorder and it is important to find an area

where the child can experience success. Often sports, art or

drama, etc. will be an area where the child can shine.

Sometimes, no strength will be apparent so one needs to be

created. Perhaps the child could become the house, Mr.

Fix-it changing light bulbs or tightening screws that seem to

be loose. Maybe he makes the best French toast or pot of

tea and is highly in demand in the family. Daily assaults to

the childs self esteem often require creative approaches by

the parent. As parents, one of the greatest challenges weface is keeping the self esteem of our children intact.

We hope this book has given you some basic tools to face these

challenges. We hope these tools will make the road a little

smoother.

50


Final Thoughts

Celebrate Every Success!


56/60

51

You may not always be

successful

In achieving your goals

you will succeed however,

in showing your child

you

believe in him.



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T.O.L.D. Workshop References

Amen, D. Windows into the ADD Mind.Fairfield, California, Mindworks Press, 1997 ISBN 1-886554-08-0

Amen, A. A Teenagers Guide to ADD.Fairfield, California, Mindworks Press, 1997 ISBN 1-886554-05-6

Barkley, Russell Taking Charge of ADHD.New York, Guilford Press, 1995 ISBN 0-89862-099-6

Comings, David Tourette Syndrome and Human Behaviour

Duarte, California, Hope Press, 1990 ISBN 1-878267-28-0

Comings, David Search For Tourette Syndrome and Human BehaviourGenes. Duarte, California, Hope Press, 1996 ISBN 1-878267-41-8

Cummings, R. Fisher, G. The Survival Guide for Kids With LD.Minneapolis, MN., Free Spirit Publishing Inc., 1990 ISBN 0-915793-18-0

Cummings, R. Fisher, G. The School Survival Guide for Kids With LD.Minneapolis, MN., Free Spirit Publishing Inc., 1990 ISBN 0-915793-32-6

Cummings, R. Fisher, G. The Survival Guide for Teenagers With LD.Minneapolis, MN., Free Spirit Publishing Inc., 1990 ISBN 0-915793-51-2

Dornbush, M., Pruit, S.K. Teaching the Tiger.Duarte, California, Hope Press, 1995 ISBN 1-878267-34-5

Hallowell, E.M., Ratey, J.J. Driven To Distraction.New York, Touchstone, Simon & Schuster, 1994 ISBN 0-684-80128-0

Hallowell, E.M., Ratey, J.J. Answers To Distraction.New York, Bantam Books, 1994 ISBN 0-553-37821-X

Hallowell, E.M., When You Worry About The Child You Love.New York, Simon & Schuster, 1996 ISBN 0-684-80090-X

Hallowell, E.M., Worry.New York, Pantheon Books, 1997 ISBN 0-679-44237-5

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Hamaguchi, Patricia, Childhood Speech, Language and Listening Problems.Toronto, Wiley & Sons nc., 1997 ISBN 0-471-03413-4

Hartmann, T. Bowman, J., Burgess, S., Think Fast! The ADD Experience.Grass Valley, California, Underwood Books, 1996 ISBN 1-887424-08-3

Haerle, T. (editor) Children With Tourette Syndrome.Woodbine House, 1992 ISBN 0-933149-44-1

Hipp, E., Fighting Invisible Tigers.

Minneapolis, MN., Free Spirit Publishing Inc., 1995 ISBN 0-915793-80-6

Ingersoll, Barbara Daredevils and Daydreamers.Toronto, Doubleday, 1998 ISBN 0-385-48757-6

Kelly K., Ramundo P., You Mean Im Not Lazy, Stupid Or Crazy?!New York, Simon & Schuster, 1993 ISBN 0-684-80116-7

Latham P., Latham S., Succeeding In The Workplace.Washington D.C. JKL Publilshers., 1990 ISBN 0-915793-32-6

Cummings, R. Fisher, G. The Survival Guide for Teenagers With LD.Minneapolis, MN., Free Spirit Publishing Inc., 1994 ISBN 883560-03-9

Levine Mel Keeping A Head In School.Cambridge, Mass. Educators Publishing Service Inc.1994 ISBN 0-8388-2069-7

Levine Mel Educational Care.Cambridge, Mass. Educators Publishing Service Inc.1993 ISBN 0-8388-1987-7

Levine Mel All Kinds Of Minds.Cambridge, Mass. Educators Publishing Service Inc.1994 ISBN 0-8388-2090-5

Lynn, George T. Survival Strategies for Parenting Your ADD Child.Underwood Books, Inc. 1996 ISBN 1-887424-19-9

McCarney, S. Bauer, A. The Learning Diability Intervention Manual.Hawthorn Educational Services Inc., Revised Ed. 1995

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Moghadam, H., Attention Deficit Disorder: Hyperactivity Revisited.Calgary, Alberta, Detselig Enterprises., 1998 ISBN 0-920490-78-6

Nowicki, S. Jr., Duke, M. Helping the Child Who Doesnt Fit In.Atlanta, Georgia, Peachtree Publishers, 1992 ISBN 1-56145-025-1

Osman, B.B. Learning Disabilities and ADHD.New York, John Wiley & Sons Inc., 1997 ISBN 0-472-1551-1

Phelan, Thomas W. Surviving Your Adolescents.

Glen Ellyn, Illinois, Child Management Inc., 1993 ISBN 0-9633861-0-7

Ratey, J. Johnson, C., Shadow Syndromes.New York, Random House, 1997 ISBN 0-679-43968-4

Rief, Sandra The ADD/ADHD Checklist.New Jersey, Simon & Schuster, 1997 ISBN 0-13-762395-X

Schumm, J., Radencich, M. School Power: Strategies for Succeeding InSchool. Free Spirit Publishing Inc., 1992 ISBN 0-915793-42-3

Smith, Sally L., No Easy Answers: The Learning Disabled Child at Homeand School. New York, Bantam Books, 1979 ISBN 553-27095-8

Stevens, Suzanne H. The Learning Disabled Child: Ways That Parents CanHelp. Winston-Salem, N.C. John F. Blair, 1991 ISBN 0-89587-036-3

Stevens, Suzanne H. Classroom Success for the Learning Disabled.Winston-Salem, N.C. John F. Blair, 1984 ISBN 0-89587-036-3

Thomas, James, L. Do You Have Attention Deficit Disorder?New York, Dell Books, 1996 ISBN 0-440-22260-5

Weiss, L. Attention Deficit Disorder In Adults.Dallas, Texas, Taylor Publishing Co., 1992 ISBN 0-87833-979-5

Weiss, L. ADD On the Job: Making Your ADD Work For You.Dallas, Texas, Taylor Publishing Co., 1996 ISBN 0-87833-917-5

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DVDs

Brooks, RobertLearning Disabilities and Self Esteem: Look What Youve Done!

www.drrobertbrooks.com/products/index.html

Hallowell, Ed.A.D.D. From A to Zhttp://www.drhallowell.com/add-adhd/

Lavoie, RichardHow Difficult Can This Be? F.A.T. City Workshop.http://www.ricklavoie.com/videos.html

Lavoie, Richard

Learning Disabilities and Social Skills: Last One PickedFirst One Picked On.http://www.ricklavoie.com/videos.html

Lavoie, RichardLearning Disabilities and Discipline: When The Chips Are Downhttp://www.ricklavoie.com/videos.html

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