Your help is needed…..

Save this afflicted mid-western family from a horrible disease!

• This family is suffering from a horrible and rare mid-western disease.

• It is called Threadlike Haggarding Intractible Narrowitis or “THIN” Disease.

• This disease has a debilitating effect on the host carriers.

Fatigue and Lethargy

An Insatiable Thirst for Soda

A Constant Need for Junk Food

Brittle Bones

Pica (eating non-food items)

Emaciation

And finally…Bodily Shrinkage

• This disease is not a contagious disease.• This disease is rare in the mid-west area of the

North American continent.• It does seem to be a hereditary trait, although it

can sometimes “miss” children in the same family.

• This disease can be cured with a healthy diet and regular weight training exercises, though it appears this disease creates an aversion to both.

• Ingesting certain drugs can mimic this disease process eg. Meth, Cocaine, etc.

• This family has had to work hard to mask their disease. They tell people they are “fine”. That they “just have fast metabolisms”.

• Denial is a very common mental condition associated with this disease.

In the hopes of beating this disease in their children, they try desperately to make them eat healthy foods…

all to no avail however.

The family does odd jobs to monetarily sustain their unending hunger for junk food, even while never

gaining any significant body weight!

The kids now have job descriptions on their resumes as varied as…

Sidewalk Artist

House keeper

Gardener

Window washer

Lifeguard

Dishwasher

…and Laundry Attendant

When work is scarce, they must resort to dressing the kids up as immigrants and sitting them in front of Home Depot to get jobs!

If that fails, they aren’t to proud to beg…they started the kids out young; to give them a fighting chance!

During the summer, they try to hunt and forage for healthy alternatives.

When they run out of bait, they improvise.

Sometimes you can find them out and about…luring helpless animals to the slaughter.

In times of desperation, they rent the baby out to sad childless women.

When needed, they will fight in underground “gladiator-like” games, all in the hopes of winning some

cake to feed their young.

They have had to put the children in concentration-like camps to keep them from gnawing on the house, numbering them with

tattoos to keep track of them.

The children keep up a brave front…

…but they struggle to keep it together.

The adults are wasting away to nothing

We need our communities help…• If you see this family out, PLEASE, give them as

much healthy food as you can spare.• It’s important to hand the food to them, don’t try

to put it directly into their mouths as this can be very dangerous, you could lose a finger!

• Give encouragement to each member of this family, this will help with their digestion of the healthy food donations.

• If you see them at fast food establishments eating junk food, please remind them of their condition and guide them to a healthier alternative.

Thank You, in advance, for any help you provide.

Disclaimer:• THIN disease and all of its symptoms and cures

have not been tested or approved by the ADA, FDA, NRA, MMA, or CIA. It is a fictional disease that has been adopted by the Helmick Corporation in an effort to get back at one sister for cruel and unusual crimes against another sister.

• If you believe you have any symptoms associated with THIN disease please contact a specialist immediately for assessment and treatment.

• If you cannot find a specialist, one will be appointed to you by a court of law.• There have been no studies, trials, or taste tests that have definitively proven that healthy food is a cure for being THIN.• It has been proven however that THIN people are more cranky and mean then regular sized mid-westerners. Just ask!• While I'm at it Na Na Na boo boo wear a pink tutu!